Dear Navidaters,

My daughter is seriously dating a guy. Things are going well but my daughter is voicing some concerns. He makes fun of her when she does anything klutzy. My daughter is a lot of things, a lot of amazing things, so it hurts that he makes fun of her surrounding the realm of not being so organized or coordinated. Basically what she is seeing is a pattern of poking fun at something she’s bad at. If she drops something, for example, he’ll say, “Oops look like something jumped out of your hands again” or once, she mistakenly knocked over her drink at the Shabbos meal, he said, “Why can’t you just watch where your hand is going ?!” Another time she drove them somewhere and he commented how her car was messy.

Other than that, he balances her out well. Where she is disorganized, he is very organized. Where she is klutzy, he is very careful, and she meshes well with him and his personality in a lot of other ways. What is the panel’s thoughts on this issue? Is this a big red flag, is it normal, or something else we’re missing?

Shannon*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.