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B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
AUGUST 19, 2021
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
I
am engaged to a guy who I really like, after dating in the shidduch world for five years. (For the sake of this letter I will call him Noam.) We got engaged after dating for two months – and I did not have a chance to meet his parents. When we made calls we heard very nice things about them “baalei chessed, pillars of the community,” etc... Looking back, it seems like he was purposely avoiding interactions where I would end up meeting his parents. I am from an out-of-town city. At one point, his parents were stopping over in my city for the day. I proposed the idea that he come to town and we all go out together but he insisted gently that they did not have much time and were only here on business (am I paranoid to think that they were scouting out my family & home??). After getting engaged and meeting them, I really see a bigger picture. His parents are completely emotionally stale, fancy, stuck-up people. I would not be surprised if they had some sort of psychological condition based on their behavior at our l’chaim. We were having the l’chaim, which was the first place I met them, and they were extremely standoffish. His mother had a sour expression on her face the entire time, and the father would not do anything to make himself look comfortable. They seemed to be looking down at everybody, would not touch the food my parents offered them, and gave very stale “mazel tovs” to our friends and family. This is their oldest and very independent son, and I am the youngest in my family with lots of nieces and nephews. The noise level seemed to bother them as well. I really don’t feel comfortable around his family – and think they are straight up rude. Should I say something to Noam? I am truly happy with him as a partner but I’m nervous I will regret it now that I met his family. Thoughts? *Shevy
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
