Baltimore Jewish Home - 9-26-19 by Moshe Rubin

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

REAL ID? HEAD START! DON’T WAIT until the last minute when appointment times will be more limited and wait times will be longer.

In October of 2005, the Real ID Act established new minimum security standards for the issuance of sources of identification, such as driver’s licenses and identification cards. Beginning October 1st, 2020, state agencies will require more paperwork than in the past regarding your proof of residency and social security number. The cards utilize new technology to prevent forgeries. US travelers will need the Real ID to fly or enter any secure federal facility. If not in compliance, law enforcement may confiscate your license if you are stopped for any reason.

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

GET A

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HAVE YOU UPDATED YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE TO THE NEW

MDOT MVA will contact you to remind you to enroll but you can also check your Real ID status by visiting

www.mva.maryland.gov/realidlookup

www.mva.maryland.gov/odg Customers with scheduled appointments are guaranteed to be seen within 15 minutes of their scheduled time. When at the MVA look for the appointment check-in line and do not wait in the standard check-in line.

1 Proof of Age and Identity 1 Proof of Social Security 2 Proofs of Residential Address For a full list of acceptable documents, visit

www.mva.maryland.gov/odg

TO SPEAK WITH AN MVA REPRESENTATIVE, CALL

800.950.1682

The Chesed Fund Limited is dedicated in memory of Mordechai & Rebecca Kapiloff, ‫ע׳׳ה‬, Dr. Bernard Kapiloff, ‫ע׳׳ה‬, and Rabbi Norman & Louise Gerstenfeld, ‫ע׳׳ה‬. Project Ezra of Greater Baltimore, Inc. is dedicated in memory of M. Leo Storch, ‫ע׳׳ה‬.

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To schedule an appointment, visit

REMEMBER TO BRING THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:

CONTENTS

COMMUNITY

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

PEOPLE 613 Seconds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

LIFESTYLES The Paper Chicken. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 Israel Today. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 Mental Health Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72 Health and Fitness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78

NEWS Israel News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 National News. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

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That’s Odd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

Dear Readers, Each night, year-round, we lie down in bed expecting to wake up refreshed and revitalized from the fatigue of the previous day. The same is true each Elul/ Tishrei season in a more general sense: all the previous months, with their specific yomim tovim and events are behind us. We’re ready to say goodbye to this past year and begin a new one full of energy and potential. All our midrashim, parables, and stories about the unique qualities of this time of year are not just feel-good material. This time of year really is a ripe time for us to learn to be humble, to change, to let go of certain rigid “I wills,” and “I won’ts.” Now’s the time to start being more respectful of our spouse, parents, in-laws, and all human beings with whom we come in contact. The first Lubavitcher Rebbe was once asked, “What’s greater: ahavas Hashem or ahavas Yisrael?” He answered, “Ahavti eschem amar Hashem: Hashem has said He loves us, which means ahavas Yisrael is greater, for one loves the one whom the beloved loves.” The reality is, we need to constantly improve our character traits in order to love someone else and not view them as an extension of ourselves. By us listening to and looking out for each other, we can be guaranteed that the One above will look out for us all, giving us a year full of joy, health, success, and all blessings that each one of us needs. May this be the year our dispersed family is brought back to our home with the coming of Mashiach. Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos, and ah gut gebentcht yahr! Shalom

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

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Celebrate Rosh Hashanah

Around the Community

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

An Evening Of Thanks By: BJLife Staff BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

n the evening of September 12, 2019, at the home of Jason and Shani Reitberger, the Vaad HaRabbonim / Rabbinical Council of Baltimore hosted a reception to thank, among others, the City, County and State Health Departments; LifeBridge Health/Sinai Hospital; Agudath Israel of Maryland; Hatzalah of Baltimore; Baltimore Jewish Life; and Bais Yaakov and Shomrei Emunah for their critical roles in arranging community MMR vaccination clinics in Baltimore around Pesach time. With tremendous Siyata d’Shmaya, the robust and seamless partnership between all of these public and private groups helped to protect our community during this measles epidemic. The reception was an opportunity for our community to express its tremendous hakaros hatov and profound gratitude to these wonderful organizations and the individuals who represent them.

Charlie Harary Electrifies 400+ at Etz Chaim Event By: BJLife Staff

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BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Jeff Cohn

ver 425 Jews of every background gathered on Tuesday night September 24th at the social hall of the Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Hebrew Congregation. Charlie Harary entertained the listeners while delivering a passionate and empowering message

for the upcoming Rosh Hashana holiday. Through a fascinating story about his friend’s training to become an intelligence agent for the IDF, Charlie explained that sometimes what we consider the “detours” of life, are in actuality the “path” that Hashem has personally chosen for us to realize our potential. The crowd walked away inspired to trust in Hashem and to turn their challenges into opportunities for

growth. Etz Chaim’s next big events include the “Big Baltimore Challah Bake” at the JCC on November 11th, in conjunction with the Baltimore Shabbat Project, and bringing one or two buses of people to the Jinspire/ Aish Hatorah Body and Soul retreat on November 15-17th. For more information on these programs please email info@etzchaimusa.org.

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Around the Community

Baltimore’s First Shomer Shabbos Police Officer, Kalman Finkelstein

“There are no words to describe our Hakaras HaTov!”

hat is how Mrs. Lapp described her experience with Yeshivas Tiferes HaTorah. She explained that fulltime beis medrash wasn’t for her son Mordechai, but he didn’t want to leave Yeshiva environment of Rebbeim and friends. He found his place at YTT, where he learns in the morning and evening, and works in the afternoon. “He’s continuing to grow as a Ben Torah and has gained so much from everything the Yeshiva has to offer,” she said. Founding Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Yehuda Finkel explained the concept: “There are many bochurim who want to stay in yeshiva but also want to start working. When you ask, ‘So how are you going to do that?’ they typically respond, ‘I have to figure it out.’ We have set up a framework to meet the needs of post-high school boys who want to remain in a yeshiva environment while exploring the business world. The day is structured with the traditional framework of morning, afternoon, and night seder, with the afternoon hours available for the boys to go out and utilize their talents and skills in the workforce. The morning seder is focused on Gemara. The bochurim learn b’chavrusa and prepare for one of the two levels of shiurim each day. The goal is to engage each talmid, enhance his learning skills, connect him to Torah, and bring out the greatness of each one. The Yeshiva offers different tracks of learning, which cater to the individual student’s needs. There are plenty of shiurim, ranging from Gemara b’iyun, Gemara bekiyus, halacha, mussar, hashkafa, Chumash and more.

At night seder, besides the regular learning, there are exciting events after Maariv, such as Wednesday-night Matzav, with hot catered food and words of chizuk. Afternoons are set aside for work-related activities. YTT is not simply a yeshiva program that allows for outside pursuits. Rather, it provides practical guidance in how to function in the outside world. Business owners, professionals, and other experts are brought in to teach work-related skills and attitudes. They cover such topics as effective communication, time management, the importance of being reliable and responsible, how to sell a product, how to write a resume, derech eretz in the workplace, interacting with ainam-Yehudim, erlichkeit, and much more. Talmidim are set up with job placements based on their skills, education, interests, and talents. They have interned with property managers, building contractors, insurance brokers, real estate companies, and many other local businesses. Magid shiur Rabbi Shlomo Golfeiz spoke of the yeshiva’s warm, friendly atmosphere. “Every bochur gets individualized attention,” he said, “and through that, they develop a love of

learning.” To illustrate, he related how one bochur called him during bein hazmanim to ask if they could learn together while they were off from yeshiva. They learned together every day of the break. Mendel Rosen spoke of his son’s experience: “YTT made Ezra feel comfortable, part of a group and positive about learning. They give the boys a feeling of the importance of Torah.” Another parent, Rabbi Lokensky, described how individualized incentives are used to motivate the boys. He added, “I’m very impressed with the level of care.” One mother called the yeshiva a “lifesaver!” Her son wanted to be able to learn and work but he couldn’t find his place in any other yeshiva. “YTT set him up in learning and got him a job. Now he’s earning his own money, has a skill set, feels independent, and is happier,” she said. Assistant Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Shmuel Zanvil Friedman stated: “As a mechanech, there is nothing more heart-warming than guiding a talmid to be happy with his learning and with himself.” Rav Yaakov Hopfer, declared, “Both Roshei Hayeshiva are highly interactive with the boys and understand

what each one needs.” Business mentor, Dovid Meltzer put it this way: “Rabbi Finkel and Rabbi Friedman can figure out a bochur pretty quickly. They make a plan for him and then, most importantly, stick to the bochur until he sticks to the plan.” One talmid, Yisroel Friedman, related that he was planning to leave beis medrash to get a job. Then he saw an ad for the yeshiva. He decided to give half-day learning a try. He formed an immediate bond with Rabbi Finkel, and they learn together daily. Yisroel appreciates that his Rebbi takes a keen interest in and is actually helping him figure out a career plan that is right for him. “The yeshiva gives me the opportunity to bring out the best in me,” he said. Another talmid, Shmuely Roisman, praised the Rebbeim as “very warm and accepting. They go out of their way to make you happy.” Shmuely learns morning and evening sedarim while apprenticing with a construction contractor in the afternoon. “It’s the best of both worlds!” Yitzchak Rosenblat said of his experience, “YTT allows you to grow inside and outside of the yeshiva.” Yeshivas Tiferes HaTorah: Empowering Beis Medrash bochurim to maximize their potential within the walls of yeshiva as they transition into the world at large. For more information, or if you are an employer looking to hire or would like to be a business mentor to assist the bochurim, please contact Rabbi Finkel, at 443-255-0515; Rabbi Friedman, at 301-741-6065, or email to office@TiferesHaTorah.org.

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Around the Community

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Congregation Arugas Habosem Commemorates Triple Milestone with Dancing in the Streets By: Margie Pensak

he fulfillment of a dream that was long in the making, a triple milestone, was finally celebrated on Sunday, September 15: a Chanukas Habayis, the consecration of the new shul building; a Chanukas HaMikveh, the consecration of its new Mikveh; and, a Hachnosos Sefer Torah in memory of Rebbetzin Taub’s parents, the Honiader Rav, R’Avrohom Meir ben R’Yehuda Israel, and Rebbetzin Chava bas R’Meir Halevi Israel, z”l.

Rabbi Aryeh Richter Named Assistant Rabbi of Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim! By: BJLife Staff

e are excited to report that Rabbi Aryeh Richter has been appointed as Assistant Rabbi of Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras

Chaim. Rabbi Richter studied in RJJ of Edison, Yeshivat Kodshim in Yerushalayim, BMG and earned semicha at the Jerusalem Kollel. He then became the Sho’el U’maishiv and mentor there and interned for Rabbi Shmuel Weiner,

Rav of the American community in Ramat Eshkol. Today, many of the young Rabbanim he mentored still call him from around the USA, England, Mexico and Eretz Yisroel seeking his halachic counsel. Rabbi Richter is now completing his Masters

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Elevate Your Yamim Noraim Experience with these titles. CLASSIC ARTSCROLL MACHZORIM Full English translation facing the Hebrew page and an anthologized commentary

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English translation below each Hebrew word and an anthologized commentary

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

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All ArtScroll Machzorim Feature: 4Clear, concise instructions and laws 4Scriptural sources 4Concise summary of the laws of prayer 4Inspirational commentary

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With commentary adapted from the teachings of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik

Comments, laws, customs, stories, and perspectives on Elul, Selichos, and the Yamim Nora’im

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

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613 Seconds with Rabbi Yosef Rosenfeld

Can you tell us a little about yourself? I moved to Baltimore about 17 years ago with my wife Tova. I had always been impressed with the Baltimore community as one of Shalom and cohesiveness, and with Rabbonim who are respected by the community. I came to learn in the Kollel of Ner Yisrael, which is still a very important part of my day.

Can you tell us a little more about the Bais din? The Bais Din was founded 25 years ago to serve as a community institution for resolving disputes according to halachah. The Bais Din typically sees about 75 to 80 new filings a year. While some of those cases need to go through

What types of cases do you normally see? Many of our cases are monetary disputes. These can range from small claims of a few hundred dollars, to large scale business transactions involving millions of dollars. Some cases are relatively simple and quick, while others are complex and require multiple sessions. Another area that we (unfortunately) deal with is separation and divorce issues. It is the goal of the Bais Din to resolve these cases in a spirit of Emes and Shalom, given their sensitive nature. Does the Bais Din have an educational component? As a community institution, we are always available for Shiurim and programming to the public about topics that relate to Halacha and monetary issues. Choshen Mishpat is an area of Halacha that relates to the average person in daily life in a host of situations. Some examples would be the Halachic implication of giving one’s word, the imperative to pay workers on time, obligations to one’s neighbor in joint areas of property, and proper structuring of loans that pay a re-

turn. Is there anything specific you would like to educate the public about? Yes- I would like to briefly discuss the Halacha that prohibits one Jew from taking the other to secular Court when the Defendant is willing to go to Bais Din. Adjudication of disputes according to the Torah is integral to living in accordance with Halacha. The importance of this cannot be overstated, and the severity of going against this is stated in very harsh terms in Choshen Mishpat (26:1). I often will be conversing with honest, upstanding members of the community who either are not aware of this Halacha at all or think it is merely a stringency. That is not to say that every conflict must be resolved through Bais Din. As long as litigation is not involved, the parties may resolve the issue by agreement among themselves or with a third party mediator, which is often the case with many claims filed with our Bais Din, as I mentioned earlier.

Is there anything else you would like to add? I think it is important for our community to give some thought to how fortunate we are. Not only do we have many Rabbanim who are Halachic authorities and leaders, but we also have much collaboration and Achdus among these Rabbonim, I am hard pressed to think of another community in North America which has that combination in its Rabbinic leadership. I deal with the local Rabbonim very closely, and can honestly say that I derive inspiration from the level of service they do for the community in sincerity and integrity. In our efforts to follow these Halachos carefully, we should all merit a favorable judgement by Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If your Shul or organization would like a Shiur from the Baltimore Bais Din, please contact Rabbi Rosenfeld at RYR@baltimorebaisdin.org

Wishing the community a happy, healthy & safe New Year!

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

What else are you involved in? About 3 ½ years ago, I was approached by Rav Mordechai Shuchatowitz , who is the head of the Baltimore Bais Din. There was a need for an Administrator for the Bais Din. At the same time, I had been learning mediation skills, at the encouragement of my father, who is a divorce mediator. I accepted the position, and am proud to serve our community

a formal adjudication process, some of them can be resolved by an agreement between the parties. Often the parties in conflict have a prior relationship, whether it is as relatives or friends. We always offer the parties an opportunity to resolve the issue through a mediation process. If a formal adjudication process is required, we are proud to have a roster of Dayanim who are committed to a process of honesty and integrity.

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Bais Din or “Balderdash” By Yitzchok Strauss For all those out there who have Motzei Shabbos game night with the family, you will be very familiar with the law portion of the game “Balderdash.” The creator of the game spent countless hours researching every outdated law in America and abroad. The players’ objective is to know which crazy law actually was really enacted. Laws are a reflection of the values of the society where they have been written. We all know too well how the laws in America can affect every aspect of our lives injecting into us the foreign values of the American society. Why should we be required to bake wedding cakes or provide special bathrooms for those whose lifestyle is the antithesis of true Torah values? Furthermore, the courts will enforce

the laws based on their core value system. So if there is a law that they do not approve of because of their political agenda they may not even enforce it. It is with this backdrop that we understand the importance of having a Jewish court which will uphold our values. A Bais Din is empowered with the authority to enforce our laws, those given to us at Har Sinai. The fundamentals of who we are and the values we try to emulate are those laws the Bais Din will enforce. It is no wonder that there is a very strong prohibition to go to a secular court. We need to be governed by our value system - not theirs. If we have an internal conflict, we need to go to those who have our perspective and value system; other-

wise it is a Chilul HaShem, basically saying that their values have more credence than ours. Basis for our court system Due to the fact that we no longer have the original Smicha that was passed down from generation to generation from the time of Moshe Rabeinu, the Bais Din has limited jurisdiction. The original Smicha was delivered to Moshe Rabeinu who shared it with Yehoshua and the 70 Zikeinim. They in turn handed down the Smicha for many generations but the chain was ultimately lost due to our Golus. We no longer have the ability to make a Bais Din as prescribed by the Torah. However, it was clear to Chazal that without a Bais Din the Jewish communities would not be able

to function on the most rudimentary level. For example, people would not feel comfortable making loans to poor chaveirim because there would be no way to enforce a repayment. This lack of enforcement action could spread to all areas of business which is critical for a society to function. In order to resolve the problem, Chazal instituted a limited court power on the basis that the judges today are agents for those Rabbonim who had Smicha many years ago. However, Chazal only extended the enforcement power to those controversies that were related to a more usual or typical matter and involved monetary losses. Anything other than that, the Bais Din will not have jurisdiction and not be given the power to enforce. There are some very limited exceptions which will be the subject of future articles. Yitzchok (Larry) Strauss is an Attorney, CPA and Adjunct Professor in the Univ of Balt LLM program. He has Smicha in both Yora Yora and Yodin Yodin and is the Treasurer for the Baltimore Bais Din.

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A look at the voting patterns from last week’s elections in Israel illustrates how badly the Likud bled votes that led to its electoral defeat. With all of the ballots counted, the election appears to be a humiliating defeat for the Likud. With the rightwing bloc standing at only 55 seats, Kahol Lavan leader Benny Gantz has a realistic chance to end Prime Minister Netanyahu’s ten-year term as Israel’s top elected official. Key to the Likud’s failure at the ballot box was the mergers with other parties that didn’t bring the expected electoral windfall. The first party to join was Kulanu. The center-right party headed by Finance Minister Moshe Kahlon had merged with the Likud after the elections in April. The other faction that was swallowed up by the Likud was Moshe Feiglin’s Zehut. The Libertarian pro-marijuana party mustered three seats in the previous elections and failed to cross the electoral threshold. Realizing that the race against Kahol Lavan was neck-to-neck, Prime Minister Netanyahu convinced Feiglin earlier this month to drop out of the race in exchange for promising him a ministerial portfolio. However, the move doesn’t appear to have succeeded. With Kulanu getting four seats in the previous elections and Zehut another three, the

Likud should have come out with 39 Knesset mandates. Instead, the Likud got only 31, demonstrating that Netanyahu’s pair of mergers was a colossal failure. Likud also suffered a major drop in support in cities long seen as its base in support. In the northern city of Nahariya, for example, Likud had garnered 46.13% of the city’s vote in April but only 42.21% this time around. Avigdor Liberman’s Yisrael Beitenu seems to be the main beneficiary of this fallout, with his share of the vote jumping to 14.47% from the 9.58% he got in April. Another city in which the Likud suffered a massive drop in support was Netanya. While in April the party (together with Kulanu) earned 43.14% of the city’s votes, it dropped by almost eight percent to 35.96% in the second round. Meanwhile, Kahol Lavan rose by almost two percent from 22.83% to 24.16%, and Yisrael Beitenu climbed from 6.76% in April to 10.88%. The Likud’s collapse has been attributed to several factors, including anger at Netanyahu for the repeat elections and the successful anti-religious coercion campaign by Yisrael Beitenu.

IAF Joins Cobra Warrior Exercise

In a first, the Israeli Air Force joined its counterparts from all over the world in participating in last week’s Cobra Warrior exercise. Hosted by Britain, the drill saw the world’s top fighter jets joining together to practice responding to multiple contingencies, such as carrying out precision airstrikes in enemy territory and quickly transporting ground troops during wartime to the frontlines. The 2019 Cobra Warrior was the first time Israel was allowed to join the prestigious drill. While seen as

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The Week In News one of the world’s best air forces, the IDF has traditionally preferred to keep its relationship with Britain’s Royal Air Force (RAF) under the radar due to political sensitivities. “This was the Israeli Air Force’s first deployment in Britain, and the first exercise of this size in which the Israeli Air Force and British air force took part,” confirmed the IDF in a statement. “This gave us an opportunity to carry out tactical flights against an advanced enemy in new and unknown terrain,” the army said. Other than Israel, participants included the United States, Germany, and Italy. The exercise took place over a three-week period and is seen as the world’s premier training program for first-right air forces. Israel frequently joins international air force drills in order to both showcase its abilities and to practice in unfamiliar territory. Last year, Israel hosted a massive air force drill in the Negev Desert that saw more than 25 countries participating.

Did Israel Test Nuclear Bomb in the 1970s?

An extensive report in Foreign Policy magazine alleges that the Carter administration ignored what was likely an Israeli nuclear test in 1979 in order to avoid international humiliation during an election year. While Israel is known to have a considerable arsenal of nuclear weapons, it has never officially declared that it possesses such devastating weapons. While Israel’s Dimona nuclear reactor was first built in the 1960s with the help from England and

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France, its atomic weapons program remains under the darkest veil of secrecy and no politician has ever gone on record talking about it. According to the report, the U.S. spy satellite Vela 6911 noticed two unusual flashes off the coast of South Africa on September 22, 1979. After poring over the images, U.S. military analysists concluded that the only cause of the aforementioned flashes was a test of a nuclear weapon. At that time, Israel enjoyed close ties with the apartheid regime in South Africa. With no other nation willing to sell the pariah state weapons, the country turned to the poor and impoverished Jewish State, which armed and trained the South African Defense Forces. Part of the covert ties also reportedly included cooperation on nuclear weapons. While Israel had considerable knowhow in how to produce atomic bombs, it had nowhere to test the deadly weapons due to the country’s tiny size. Enter South Africa. Since the

apartheid regime fell in the 1990s, many books have documented the quid pro quo signed between Israel and the African nation. While Israel gave over all of its nuclear research, Pretoria let it use its empty desert for testing new weapons that it couldn’t detonate back home. As such, the test in 1979 was not surprising to the U.S. defense establishment. However, President Jimmy Carter surprisingly refused to take up the issue with Jerusalem. While Carter was briefed on the test, the report says that he consciously chose to avoid bringing it up with the Israelis to avoid the complications such a move might bring. The test almost certainly violated the 1963 Partial Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, which prohibited countries from testing nuclear weapons anywhere other than space. Under the terms of the accord, the U.S. would have been forced to cut off the annual military aid it gives Israel as retribution for testing nuclear weapons. With the Israeli-Egyptian peace treaty hav-

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ing been signed only a year earlier, cutting aid would have caused the historic agreement to fall apart. The Carter administration then decided to cherry pick intelligence to find anything that would let it dismiss the evidence that Israel had, in fact, tested an atomic bomb. “The Carter administration dismissed all evidence that suggested otherwise,” wrote Foreign Policy. “This included the Naval Research Laboratory’s analysis that had located the blast’s ground zero near the Prince Edward Islands, about 1,000 miles from South Africa’s southern coast, using hydroacoustic (underwater sound) data, and claims regarding possible detection of radioactive iodine-131 in thyroids of Australian sheep, which if established could only have come from a bomb test.” The article went on to criticize both President Carter’s decision and the historic U.S. policy to never take Israel to task over its nuclear arsenal. The test “is part of a pattern that has destroyed America’s credibility on nonproliferation. What Israel says — or doesn’t say — about its nuclear weapons is its own affair,” one nuclear scientist told Foreign Policy. “But the United States should not agree to muzzle itself. It was always a humiliating role that opened the United States to the charge of hypocrisy. Now, in the face of strong confirmation of Israel’s violation of the Partial Test Ban Treaty, it has become an insupportable one.”

Israelis Don’t Like the UN

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In unsurprising results published this week by the Pew Research Center, 65 percent of Israelis viewed the UN negatively – a sentiment higher than in any of the other 31 nations sur-

veyed. Only 31% of those surveyed in Israel view the world body in a positive light. Second in unfavorable views was Russia, with 43% holding negative opinions and 34% holding positive opinions; next was Tunisia, 40% to 33%; then Greece with 36% negative, though positivity won out in that country with 48%. On average around the world, 61% of those surveyed had a positive view of the UN, while an average of 26% viewed the UN negatively. The highest positive ratings came from the Philippines (86% positive), South Korea (82%), Sweden (80%), and Poland (78%). In the United States, 59% viewed the organization positively and 33% negatively. Democrats have a far rosier outlook on the UN than Republicans, with 77% of the former and only 36% of the latter stating a positive stance. The partisan divide between the parties has grown steadily in recent decades – the current Republican favorability rating is the lowest since Pew began conducting surveys in 1990 (when it was at 68%). Israeli leadership has long complained of systemic anti-Israeli bias across UN institutions. A particular cause of ire for Israel is the UN Human Rights Council and its so-called Agenda Item 7, a fixture on the council’s schedule exclusively devoted to resolutions condemning Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians. Israel is the only country with a dedicated agenda item. Last year the U.S. quit the council, citing chronic bias against the Jewish state. This year Israel and the US left the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), with Jerusalem accusing it of having been “corrupted and manipulated by Israel’s enemies and continually [singling out] the only Jewish state for condemnation.” Israelis also hold a dim view of UN agency for Palestinian refugees, UNRWA. Israel and the U.S. have long accused UNRWA of perpetuating the Israeli-Palestinian conflict by extending refugee status to millions of descendants of Palestinians who fled

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or were forced out of homes in today’s Israel at the time of the establishment of the Jewish state in 1948, rather than limiting refugee status only to the original refugees as is the norm with most refugee populations worldwide. Earlier this month the new U.S. envoy to the UN Kelly Craft vowed to continue to push for reform at the world body and to fight against “unrelenting bias and hostility in UN venues.”

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This week, it was announced that a resident of Connecticut who was infected with Eastern equine encephalitis died. It was the state’s first death from the disease since 2013, according to health officials. Eastern equine encephalitis is a rare but potentially fatal illness caused by mosquito bites. Several states in the northeast have reported cases of the illness in recent weeks, including a second death reported in Massachusetts on Friday. In Connecticut, in addition to the death of the first person diagnosed this year, health officials announced a second person has tested positive for Eastern equine encephalitis. They urged residents to protect themselves and their children by avoiding outdoor activity from dusk to dawn, when mosquitoes are most active. “The identification of two Connecticut residents with EEE, one of whom has passed away, emphasizes the seriousness of this infection,”

said Renée Coleman Mitchell of the state Department of Public Health. “Using insect repellent, covering bare skin and avoiding being outdoors from dusk to dawn are effective ways to help keep you from being bitten by mosquitoes. Mosquitoes continue to be active until the first heavy frost.” States throughout the Northeast are experiencing an active season for EEE. In Massachusetts, there have been 10 confirmed human cases in the commonwealth. Another patient, Laurie Sylvia, died in August. In addition to the Massachusetts and Connecticut cases, there are confirmed human cases in Michigan and Rhode Island. Three people in Michigan and one person in Rhode Island have died. Typically, only five to 10 human cases of the disease are reported every year, but about 30% of all cases result in death, according to the CDC. Early symptoms of the disease occur about four to 10 days after exposure and can include headache, high fever, chills, body and joint aches. It can develop into severe encephalitis or brain swelling that can cause tremors, seizures, and paralysis.

Devastating Tropical Storm in Texas

At least five people are dead in Texas after the state was hammered by Tropical Rainstorm Imelda. According to authorities, two of the drowning deaths occurred in

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The Week In News Houston. In the first death, a 50-yearold man died after his van overturned in 8-foot-deep floodwaters. In another case, a 30-year-old male died after falling down and being unable to get up during the storm. In Jefferson County, a 19-year-old male was electrocuted to death while trying to rescue his horse. “The issue is that you can’t get 40 inches of rain in a 72-hour period and be fully prepared for that,” said Jefferson County spokeswoman Allison Getz. “At this point, we haven’t been able to fully assess what’s happened.” “It’s bad. Homes that did not flood in [Hurricane] Harvey are flooding now,” Jefferson County Judge Jeff Branick told the Beaumont Enterprise. Imelda, which had first hit the state last Tuesday, resulted in massive flooding that swept away bridges, houses, and other critical infrastructure. At its height, Imelda dumped more than 40 inches of rain in some of the worst-hit locations as it made its way eastward. It is the fifth-wettest tropical cyclone in U.S. history. Texas Gov. Greg Abbott officially declared a state of disaster for Harris County in southeast Texas, which includes the city of Houston. The flooding prompted hundreds of water rescues as well as more than 1,000 calls for assistance. On Sunday, President Donald Trump promised to make federal aid “totally available” to help Texas recover from damage caused by Tropical Storm Imelda. Overall, last Thursday was the

wettest day in September in Texas history and the fifth-wettest day in the state’s history.

during June and July. Only around 1,000 people make the journey annually, and those who do usually rough it in tents and must bring all the equipment needed to keep the safe in the hostile, frozen environment.

$100K a Night in an Igloo If sleeping in an igloo is your ideal way to spend a night, you may be able to fulfill your lifelong dream next year – but it’ll cost you. A temporary hotel site is opening at the northernmost place in the North Pole in April 2020, offering a once-ina-lifetime experience for adventurous explorers. North Pole Igloos hotel will be made up of 10 heated domes in which guests can sleep under the stars in the frozen center of the Arctic Ocean. The price of icy comfort? A cool $100,000. “The North Pole has been one of the most exclusive travel destinations in the world for years, but no nice and comfortable accommodation facilities exist there,” explains Janne Honkanen, founder of Luxury Action, the travel company behind the ambitious project. “I wanted to create a more comfortable way to experience the North Pole as it is, by bringing cozy facilities to extreme conditions.” The North Pole is inaccessible most of the year, but it can be reached by helicopter in April and by ship

Visitors to this experience will stay for two nights in Svalbard, the last frontier town between mainland Norway and the North Pole. They will then fly to the North Pole and spend a night at the North Pole Igloos hotel. The price includes these stays and the flights, along with meals and guides. Rather than remain on a fixed spot on one of the Arctic glaciers, the igloos will be moved around to “the most safe places” if and when weather conditions change. So, what did you do on your summer vacation?

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The man from Greater Manchester, England, lost three toes to frostbite while competing in the intense Yukon Arctic Race two years ago. As he was being treated at a local hospital, the Royal Marines veteran remembered a strange advertisement he had seen just before the race. “It said: ‘Had frostbite? We want your toes,’” Griffiths told The Guardian. “I thought it was a bit of a joke, really.” But the ad was very real, as the Downtown Hotel is always on the lookout for frostbitten toes to garnish their Sourtoe Cocktail. The hotel’s bar has actually been serving up the drink – basically just a shot of whiskey with a shrunken human toe in it – since 1973. According to the bar’s rules, anyone who orders is tasked with touching the toe to their lips in order to join the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club.” Customers are told, “You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but your lips must touch the toe.” Over 90,000 brave souls have completed the challenge to earn a certificate of completion, the New York Post reports.

This drink is not for the faint of heart. But Nick Griffiths is toe-tally into it.

After corresponding with Terry “Toe Master” Lee, Grittiths mailed in his three severed toes to the Downtown Hotel, where they have since been mummified and now await their former human owner for a ceremonious first toast. “It takes six weeks to mummify a new toe on rock salt before it’s ready

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The Week In News to serve,” Lee said. “We have been waiting for Nick to be first to do a shot with the new toe and make it extra special.” “Nick’s big toe is a beauty,” he added. According to the Post, the inn was in desperate need of a quality big toe as the “titular toe” of the $5 Sourtoe Cocktail is so sought-after that it frequently gets stolen. “We have been without a big toe for some time, so his generous toe-nation will help ensure the tradition continues,” Downtown Hotel general manager Adam Gerle said in a news release. On Monday night, Griffiths will be reunited with his lost digit for the first time since losing them in the ultramarathon. The Yukon tourism board will

fly him out from Manchester to the hotel for the long-awaited drink. He will be the first person ever to drink the Sourtoe cocktail featuring his own detached big toe. “I am excited to be returning to the Yukon and reuniting with my detached digit,” Griffiths said. “Doing the Sourtoe Cocktail with my own big toe will be a memory I will take to the grave.” Just thinking about it is making my toes curl.

Custom KitKat Looking for the perfect chocolate for you? Nestle has the answer. The chocolate maker has just launched a

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new range of “luxury handcrafted” KitKat fingers that will be available in bespoke packaging. Buyer beware, though. The special edition 6-stick chocolate confection will run you more than $9. Wants eight-sticks, well, you’re going to have to fork over 17 bucks. The treats come in over 1,500 flavor combinations, including ingredients such as rose petals and cocoa nibs, and the option to coat the fingers in ruby chocolate. Six handcrafted “Special Editions” flavored bars will also be available to buy, including Nuttylicious, Zingtastic Gin and Tonic, Billionaire’s Treasure, Jewels of the East, Springtime in Japan, and Whisky and Ginger. Rabia Khan, head of KitKat Chocolatory for Nestlé, said: “This is the biggest news for KitKat since the introduction of the KitKat Chunky exactly 20 years ago. “You know how much people enjoy experimenting with new and exciting KitKat flavors and the KitKat

Chocolatory offers a whole new, premium KitKat experience as well as the chance to create your very own personalized break.”

Chocolate connoisseurs won’t be able to buy these treats from their local newsagents, though. Instead, the bars will be available to buy in 30 John Lewis stores across the UK. Give me a break.

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Torah Thought

Reality Check

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By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

We are days away from the Day of Judgment, that initiates the Ten Days of Repentance, that culminate with the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. We are desperate to find a path towards achieving atonement. Certainly ‫תשו־‬ ‫בה‬, repentance, is the most effective method but at times it seems so distant and difficult to attain fully. Might there be some ‫סגולה‬, mystical remedy, that we can access to assist us in our goal? The Holy Shelah, quoting the Sefer Chareidim, cites six segulos that can affect forgiveness: )‫(של"ה מסכת יומא פרק דרך חיים מו‬ 1) Answering ...‫יהא שמיה רבא‬, the response in Kaddish of yehei shmei rabba, with great zeal. 2) Adhering with enthusiasm to the laws of Shabbos. 3) Reciting daily the ‫שירת הים‬, Az Yashir, with a vociferous joy as on the day we experienced the splitting of the sea. 4) To suffer easily the taunts and insults of others, being ‫מעביר על מדו־‬ ‫תיו‬, exercising restraint in not getting annoyed by others. 5) ‫ ;התבודדות‬the art of detaching oneself in isolation from normal rou-

tine in order to explore and develop oneself through meditation and introspection. 6) To listen intently to the words and advice of the wise who address, and seek to inspire, the masses. This seemingly random collection of segulos finds a remarkable parallel in the series of those portions that can possibly fall out on between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. The portions of Netzavim, Vayelech and Haazinu present the events that took place on the last day of Moshe’s existence on earth. It begins with his gathering the entire nation and initiating them into the covenant of collective responsibility. Thus, begins their long journey towards the goal of a complete teshuva, that Moshe prophetically reveals, will result one day in their residing comfortably in their own land, serving Hashem with a complete heart. 1 The oft repeated assertion of our desire that: ‫יהא שמיה רבא מברך לעלם‬

‫ולעלמי עלמיא‬, May His great Name be blessed forever and ever, is an expression of our deepest yearning to see our enemies eradicated and the full glory of the Divine Presence restored to the Temple. )‫ ד"ה ועונין‬.‫(תוס' ברכות ג‬ This statement in Aramaic is the translation of the sentiment; ‫ברוך שם‬ ‫כבוד מלכותו לעולם ועד‬, Blessed is the Name of His glorious kingdom for all eternity. This formulation was used in the Temple when, during the Yom Kippur service, the Kohen would utter the ‫שם המפורש‬, the explicit Name of Hashem, and all would respond ‫ברוך‬ ...‫שם כבוד‬, a usage unique to the Temple. This is derived from a verse in Haazinu, When I call out the Name of Hashem, ascribe greatness to our G-d.).‫ יומא לז‬,‫ (דברים לב ג‬, Man must live life in the context of the greater goal of glorifying the Name of G-d. When one is conscious of that mission and his role in bringing it about, it inevitably results in a more careful and enthused devotion to following the Torah’s exact directive. This then is the deeper understanding of the first segula; live with a sense of mission, it will inspire you to perfection gaining you atonement. 2 Life is filled with distractions that deter our ability to focus on what we should. Shabbos is an oasis in time, providing us with an environment, free from our daily worries and confusion. It allows us to regain our spiritual compass. Shabbos Shuva is an island we escape to in order to realign

our perspective and goals. The Shabbos prior to Yom Kippur if utilized correctly, indeed guarantees us the possibility for achieving atonement. By implementing this second segula, which doesn’t just relate to the value of observing the laws of Shabbos with precision, but also emphasizes the creation of an oasis in time, that enables us to hone our perception of the greater context our daily lives fall under, compelling us to live every minute with a heightened purpose, we can hope for forgiveness. 3 Moshe presents the antidote to end our suffering; )‫(דברים לא כא‬, It shall be that when many evils and distresses come upon it, then this Shira, song, shall speak up before it as a witness. The Shira he is referring to is Shiras Haazinu, the blueprint for all of history. Our tradition teaches that every individual’s personal destiny is alluded to in this song. The Levites in the Temple would sing every Shabbos portions from Shiras Haazinu during the bringing of the Mussaf offerings. They would also sing during Mincha on Shabbos selections from Az Yashir , the song the Children of Israel sang when they experienced the splitting of the sea. ).‫(ר"ה לא‬ The first Shira extolls G-d’s involvement in obvious miracles, whereas Shiras Haazinu asserts it is that very same G-d that accompanies us in every moment and detail of our lives. One must express daily the joy of

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that relationship just as we did at the splitting of the sea. Living life with joyous passion is the third segula that assures us an ability to make amends and repair our bond with G-d. 4 In Vayelech Moshe hands over the reins of leadership to Yehoshua, encouraging him in that mighty task. What quality did Yehoshua possess that made him worthy of this role? Earlier Moshe appeals to G-d of

the spirits of all flesh, to designate a suitable candidate to replace him, who is capable of “knowing how to treat each person according to, ‫רוחו של כל‬ ‫אחד ואחד‬, his own spirit”.‫( במדבר כז‬ )‫טז רש"י שם‬ Hashem responds by appointing Yehoshua attesting to his being a; A man in whom there is spirit, ‫(במדבר‬ )‫כז יח‬, who has the humility necessary to deal with every individual’s weaknesses. Embedded within the portrayal of this transition, lies the message of

the fourth segula; in order survive intact and healthy in our journey called life, we must have the capacity to suffer others with kindly and understanding restraint. If we can master that, we are promised reconciliation with Hashem despite our many faults. 5 Moshe went and spoke these words to all of Israel.)‫(דברים לא א‬ Moshe “went” ..., where did he “go”? Generally the Torah reports that Moshe spoke, without any introduction. What is being taught here?

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The Targum Yonasan says that he went first ‫למשכן בית אולפנא‬, to the Bais Medrash, to the study hall, and then addressed the nation.

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Perhaps the lesson here is that every person, no matter how busy and preoccupied they may be must make time for quiet solitude and introspection, constantly recalculating one’s journey, making sure one stays on course. On this very busy last day of his life, Moshe nevertheless sought to instruct us to take deliberate and deep breaths throughout our arduous mission. We need to stand back and observe with absolute objectivity where we are truly heading. We must not get caught up in the whirlpool of life forgetting our main objective. This need for quiet, thoughtful contemplation, the fifth segula, will equip us with the merit to attain G-d’s favor and forgiveness.

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6 The Mitzva of Hakhel, the once in seven years gathering of the entire nation, including small children, in the

Temple, to listen to the king read from Devarim, is one of the last instructions Moshe left for us. What distinguishes us from all other nations is our devotion to Torah and the adherence to the authority to whom its interpretation is entrusted. If we lose that commitment we are lost. This sixth and last segula; to thirst in seeking guidance and inspiration from the word of G-d, is the primary foundation upon which the privilege of attaining the highest spiritual pleasures is possible. When we devote our energies towards understanding His word, we are promised that He as well, will turn his attention to us in loving forgiveness. There is a common strand running through all these segulos. We must make a reality check to assure we maintain our direction, momentum and enthusiasm in serving Hashem. Teshuva is a lifelong quest. Until we reach a full Teshuva we must hedge our bets by enlisting these special segulos to assure ourselves a pardon from G-d. May we spend these awesome days contemplating whether we indeed ‘live in reality’, or not. Too often we simply grasp onto our life of Torah and mitzvos as a mere life preserver, that prevents us from drowning in the ocean of temptation that surrounds us. In truth there is so much more that we can gain. It is the vehicle that can bring us to the greatest pleasure on earth; living with an inspired consciousness of Hashem’s presence that constantly accompanies us, that infuses our every second with a jubilant expression of Shira!

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THE PAPER CHICKEN by Yanki Tauber

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

nce, on the evening before Yom Kippur, one of the chassidim of Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk asked his Rebbe to allow him to see how he, Rabbi Elimelech, observes the custom of kapparot. “How I do kapparot?” repeated Rabbi Elimelech. “How do you do kapparot?” “I am an ordinary Jew — I do what everyone else does. I hold the rooster in one hand, the prayer book in the other, and recite the text, ‘This is my exchange, this is in my stead, this is my atonement...’” “That’s exactly what I do,” said Rabbi Elimelech. “I take the rooster in one hand, the prayer book in the other, and recite the text. Actually, there might be a certain difference between your kapparot and mine: you probably make sure to use a white rooster, while to me it makes no difference: white, black, brown — a rooster’s a rooster...” But the chassid persisted that his Rebbe’s kapparot was certainly no ordinary event. He had been coming to Lizhensk to pray with the Rebbe every Yom Kippur for more than twenty years now, and had always wanted to observe his Rebbe at this most solemn moment. “You want to see an extraordi-

nary kapparot?” said Rabbi Elimelech. “Go observe how Moshe the tavern-keeper does kapparot. Now, there you’ll see something far more inspiring than my own, ordinary kapparot.” The chassid located Moshe’s tavern at a crossroads several miles outside of Lizhensk and asked to stay the night. “I’m sorry,” said the tavern-keeper. “As you see, this is a small establishment, and we don’t have any rooms to let. There’s an inn a small distance further down the road.” “Please,” begged the chassid, “I’ve been traveling all day, and I want to rest awhile. I don’t need a room — I’ll just curl up in a corner for a few hours and be on my way.” “O.K.,” said Moshe. “We’ll be closing up shortly, and then you can get some sleep.” After much shouting, cajoling and threatening, Moshe succeeded in herding his clientele of drunken peasants out the door. The chairs and tables were stacked in a corner, and the room, which also served as the tavern-keeper’s living quarters, was readied for the night. Midnight had long passed, and the hour of kapparot was approaching. The chassid, wrapped in his blanket under a table, feigned sleep, but kept watch in the darkened room, determined not to miss anything.

Before dawn, Moshe rose from his bed, washed his hands, and recited the morning blessings. “Time for kapparot!” he called quietly to his wife, taking care not to wake his guest. “Yentel, please bring me the notebook — it’s on the shelf above the cupboard.” Moshe sat himself on a small stool, lit a candle, and began reading from the notebook, unaware that his “sleeping” guest was wide awake and straining to hear every word. The notebook was a diary of all the misdeeds and transgressions the tavern-keeper had committed in the course of the year – the date, time and circumstance of each scrupulously noted. His “sins” were quite benign – a word of gossip one day, oversleeping the time for prayer on another, neglecting to give his daily coin to charity on a third – but by the time Moshe had read through the first few pages, his face was bathed in tears. For more than an hour Moshe read and wept, until the last page had been turned. “Yentel,” he now called to his wife, “bring me the second notebook.” This, too, was a diary – of all the troubles and misfortunes that had befallen him in the course of the year. On this day Moshe was beaten by a gang of peasants, on that day his child fell ill; once, in the dead of winter, the family

had frozen for several nights for lack of firewood; another time their cow had died, and there was no milk until enough rubles had been saved to buy another. When he had finished reading the second notebook, the tavern-keeper lifted his eyes heavenward and said: “So you see, dear Father in Heaven, I have sinned against You. Last year I repented and promised to fulfill Your commandments, but I repeatedly succumbed to my evil inclination. But last year I also prayed and begged You for a year of health and prosperity, and I trusted in You that it would indeed be this way. “Dear Father, today is the eve of Yom Kippur, when everyone forgives and is forgiven. Let us put the past behind us. I’ll accept my troubles as atonement for my sins, and You, in Your great mercy, shall do the same.” Moshe took the two notebooks in his hands, raised them aloft, circled them three times above his head, and said: “This is my exchange, this is in my stead, this is my atonement.” He then threw them into the fireplace, where the smoldering coals soon turned the tear-stained pages to ashes. Reprinted with permission from Chabad.org – the Judaism Website.

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Sunday

Elul 22

Elul 29

6:34 PM

Tishrei 7

Tishrei 14

6:12 PM

Tishrei 21 sukkos vii

Tishrei 1

Elul 23

Monday

sukkos i

Tishrei 22

after 7:10 PM

Tishrei 15

Tishrei 8

after 7:33 PM

rosh hashanah

shmini atzeret

after 7:00 PM

Tuesday

Elul 24

Tishrei 2

Next BJH Issue

sukkos ii

Tishrei 23

7:09 PM

Tishrei 16

6:20 PM

Date Change!

Tishrei 9

7:31 PM

rosh hashanah

simchas torah

6:59 PM

Tishrei 3

Elul 25

Wednesday

Tishrei 24

sukkos iii

Tishrei 17

7:19 PM

yom kipur

Tishrei 10

Fast Begins: 5:40am Fast Ends: 7:15pm

tzom gedalia (fast)

Friday Elul 27

6:37 PM

Tishrei 5

6:26 PM

Tishrei 12

6:15 PM

Tishrei 19 sukkos v

6:05 PM

Tishrei 26

5:56 PM

Elul 28

7:36 PM

Tishrei 6

7:25 PM

Tishrei 13

7:14 PM

Tishrei 20

7:04PM

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6:55 PM

Tishrei 27

sukkos vi

Saturday

Community Calendar

Elul/Tishrei 5779-80

Tishrei 4

Elul 26

Thursday

Tishrei 18

Tishrei 11

Rabbi Frandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual Teshuva Drasha @Shomrei 8pm see page 31

sukkos iv

Tishrei 25

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Israel Today

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

So You're Thinking of Joining the IDF...

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The Struggles of Israel's Lone Soldiers By Rafi Sackville

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

ver the years I have seen hundreds of my students conscripted into the army. For them, the process doesn’t begin after they graduate high school; the road to army fatigues begins sometime during eleventh grade. I have spent some of the most boring days of my life with juniors who spend an entire day at the army recruitment office while they take medical tests, psychological exams, and are interviewed at length about their desires, their hopes, and their expectations. At the Tiberias recruitment office, the atmosphere and décor are less than tantalizing; there are no bells or whistles, no “Hey ho! Let’s go!” attitude, and if students didn’t bring a lunch, which we recommend they do, the menu at the kiosk is less than appetizing. These kids come equipped with a support system to see them right through until the day when families

and friends traditionally come out in numbers to see them onto the bus. Fathers and brothers have been through the drill, as have mothers and sisters. In truth, the process for Israelis begins way back when they are small children. It is part of the national psyche. If one subtracts this vast lifetime network and the preparation that runs the gamut of an Israeli teenager’s life, the vacuum is a distraction at best and a whirlpool of danger at worst. It is into this void that almost hundreds of American youngsters step into once they sign up to serve in the Israeli Army. They are known as Lone Soldiers.

recent in-depth article in the Haaretz newspaper ran with the frightening headline, “What’s Killing Israel’s Lone Soldiers?” The article was comprehensive in its research and, as you will read from the lone soldiers The Jewish

Home interviewed, very accurate. The situation is less than ideal. For one, there is a greater suicide rate among lone soldiers than in the regular army population. Many diaspora recruits have minimal skills in Hebrew; some of them are carrying psychological baggage that sees them lying on their medical forms in order to get the highest possible profile; and many seek combat duty without comprehending the ramifications that come with the stress. Most notable is the fact that through Garin Tzabar, the organization most active in the drive to conscript youngsters, the amount of money that is annually raised is so great that no change to the system is even remotely a consideration. The Garin Tzabar website opens with the following sentence: “Tzofim Garin Tzabar was founded in 1991 and is the best solution existing today for young Jewish adults who make aliyah

and wish to make Israel their home and serve a meaningful service in the IDF as Lone Soldiers.” Note how the mention of the IDF is the last point mentioned in the paragraph. Emphasis is placed on making aliyah. Whilst not true for most members of Garin Tzabar, too many of them begin their army service lacking in ideals, unsure of themselves, and in the hope the army will solve problems they have brought with them from overseas.

e interviewed a number of lone soldiers, specifically those who come from solid families, are idealistically motivated, and did not become soldiers due to the grandeur and prestige it leaves on their resume. Moreover, they have decided to remain in Israel. The thrust of the Haaretz article is clear; not all is well with lone soldiers. The headline’s damning fact is this:

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Talk to your kids

Effective techniques to speak with your sons and daughters about drugs and alcohol.

Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz December 18 | 8:00PM

The TALK Lecture followed by an open forum

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whereas soldiers without parents in the country comprise only 2 percent of conscripting soldiers, “they accounted for a disproportionally high share of military suicides in the past year.” There is irony in the term “lone soldier.” It conjures a state of loneliness. Loneliness that can easily become the overriding state of normal in the life of soldiers from the diaspora. G. said he could identify with this state of loneliness. “I have a lot of family here – a brother and aunts. I rented an apartment in the middle of the country. So if I want to, I have places to go. It’s all well and good to go to my apartment at the end of the week...until it’s not! I was once sick for four days and was in my apartment alone. There was no home cooking and no one to do my laundry. “So yes, being a lone soldier can be very lonely.” The small things we take for granted like coming home to a warm house with familiar food and someone more than happy to do the washing would be rare occasions for most of these soldiers. In fact, all the young people interviewed for this article were unanimous in their view that the army does not take these small, but important, things into account. Garin Tzabar divides the incoming recruits into groups, which are then assigned places to live like kibbutzim. Ideally, this gives them a sense of belonging when they are on leave from the army. I met some soldiers on a kibbutz in the Jordan Valley who were less than impressed with the welcome they received. Whereas they didn’t feel unwelcome, they radiated the impression that coming back to the kibbutz on furlough wasn’t what they had been promised. Many of them were not assigned work on the kibbutz during the initial phase of the founding of the group. They were adopted by families, but it wasn’t the same as being home. There was far too much downtime. Despite the efforts of Garin Tzabar, it still begs the question of why the IDF goes to the lengths it does to recruit these soldiers in the first place. Has the army taken into account the homes they have left behind and the comforts of – in most cases –advanced western civilization? K. believes there is an element of disillusionment among the army and

youngsters. “By the time they’re in units, it’s too late to do anything about it. There’s neither enough, nor adequate, preparation. Israelis grow up knowing about the army. They live the system. People don’t grow up learning about the army in New York. In truth, lone soldiers don’t really understand what’s happening. “The army was so happy to take us in. But after we were in the system, I got the feeling they didn’t seem to want to do the work. They didn’t offer enough financial support, and they didn’t check up on us enough.” K. gave an example that illustrates so much of what is wrong with the system. She joined Garin Tzabar a few years ago and was shocked by the Rambo-like-minus-the-idealism attitude of so many youngsters. “The guys talked about the guns they were going to use and the combat units they were desperate to get into,” she said. “They talked as if it was a game. They were living under an illusion they were tough guys, like they’d seen in movies. They never once realized the consequences.” To compound these problems, some youngsters have come to volunteer without declaring their true psychological state. Some come from broken homes, others are of the belief they can solve their issues by moving countries. More worrying is that some see being truthful about their true state of mind as a sign of weakness. The IDF is, in such cases, ill-equipped to deal with such problems. K. told me of a friend who, when he joined the army, was obviously unstable. K. said it was as clear as daylight that he had issues. “Garin Tzabar doesn’t meet the standards of family,” she added. “They and the army didn’t realize he was a troubled kid. He eventually became

part of a difficult detail during Tsuk Eitan, the last war in Gaza. I was also there, and I could see it was the last thing he needed. He had to evacuate the killed and wounded. The army should have known better. “After the war he spun out of control and then left Israel.” Unfortunately, K.’s story is not unique. P. told a story she saw repeated time after time when it came to the army assigning a profile number to recruits. The highest profile one can get is 97. This opens more opportunities, particularly for those seeking to serve in combat units. “People lie,” said P., referring to the medical and psychological evaluations. “Everyone wants the highest profile. Many of them do a lot to get it.” They go back to the recruiting office. Oftentimes some of them manage to improve their profiles. D. agrees with this assessment. “In my opinion the biggest thing going into the army is what the army knows and doesn’t know about soldiers from the diaspora. They are clueless.” D., who was a combat soldier, readily declared any medical issues he had. As a result, his profile was lowered. He recalls the reaction of some of his friends from the diaspora who were being conscripted at the same time. They were amazed he’d told the truth. D. recalled, “They asked me why I had been so open about my medical issues. In other words, they wanted the cool units and the 97 profile, and they were going to do whatever it took to get it.”

t is important to note that not all lone soldiers struggle. Most are motivated, sometimes in degrees far greater than their Israeli counterparts. For these soldiers, the Zionist ideal is alive and well, and they see a

future for themselves in Israel post-army. The Haaretz article took pains to note that the major problem “is the vetting system. The holes are way too big.” Many Israeli youngsters defer the army for a year doing either Sherut Leumi or by joining a pre-military program. Both help pave the way for a more successful and balanced army career. Sherut Leumi is a national service option providing young adults with diverse placement options throughout the country. A pre-military course is usually held at a military base. Military discipline is practiced there, and trainees are required to act as soldiers. The trainees usually wear uniforms but are not given ranks. Another way to study pre-military is in a military school. The military schools are primarily geared toward the technical professions, the Air Force, the ICT and the Technology and Maintenance Corps. After completing 12th grade, these schools offer students a residency in later grades and an opportunity to obtain an engineering diploma. For the hundreds of youngsters joining Garin Tzabar, these options are not available. There is more than one way a person can fall through the cracks. Of the hundreds of annual Garin Tzabar recruits, many don’t speak any Hebrew when they begin their service. There are many people living in Israel who have difficulty speaking Hebrew. The last place one wants to have trouble is in the army as a soldier in a large squad or battalion, where everyone is in the same situation and one’s commanding officer has to spend an inordinate amount of time explaining him or herself more than once because he has a soldier who doesn’t speak the language. D. speaks Hebrew well. It is obviously something he has worked hard at. It gave his military service more fluency. That sense of seamless integration makes for better soldiers; it gives them a sense belonging. The notion of looking like an outsider can quickly disappear once the language is mastered. In fact, at the beginning of our interview, D. was happy to conduct it in Hebrew. He was nevertheless at

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‫ונשמרתם מאד‬ .‫לנפשתיכם‬

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

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48 pains to point out the glaring discrepancies between his fellow lone soldiers and his Israeli comrades. It isn’t the language as much “as a lack of family and a place to go on Shabbat.” D.’s military service is a success. He has a levelheaded approach to the army. He didn’t mince his words when he spoke about lone soldiers in general. “Everyone joins the army because they think it’s cool. There are a lot who do view it as an escape. They didn’t fit in in America. There are some who come because they want to make aliyah. Unfortunately, a lot go back.” When asked about these soldiers who were running away from their problems, problems the army knows nothing about, D. spoke more from his own personal experience. “I think in paratroopers, it’s a little better, where there’s better quality of soldiers and better vetting. But even there I know commanders who were constantly dealing with soldiers running away.”

In preparing this article I couldn’t help thinking of the parents of troubled youth who are willing to send their children into the IDF. Do these parents believe the army is going to take care of their kids? Their sons and daughters who sign up for Garin Tzabar complete a total of twelve days orientation. Compare this to a lifetime of preparation in Israeli households. Once their children get on that plane, it can unfortunately become out of sight, out of mind. Yet, for many families who see their kids and their kids’ friends wanting to join the IDF because it’s become so trendy, the impulse to say no to them may not be part of the lexicon. Any 17- or 18-yearold can convince themselves they’re doing something noble by becoming a soldier. Y. is a young woman who is practical and direct. She recently completed her army service and is planning to stay in Israel. Her service was difficult and trying, but for her that oftentimes didn’t compare to the difficulties she

had to face when she was sent home for the weekend. “They don’t always understand where we’re coming from,” she says. “We get Friday and Shabbat off, and while Israelis are going home to chill, we’re going to the bank, we have to go shopping, we’re cooking and cleaning and dealing with the financial aspects of our lives. The army doesn’t understand. Two days off with Shabbat! There’s no time! We’re doing a lot of the process ourselves. It’s hard to run the process yourself.” She suggests, “The army could help lone soldiers by pairing them up with a family or someone to talk to, to familiarize them with everything. When you get there, you are in shock because of the army and the culture.” One prominent Israeli journalist is critical of the lone soldiers program. He contends that the army, as the largest Israeli-Jewish organization in the world, should remain exclusively Israeli, to the exclusion of youngsters like lone soldiers.

That is a moot point, but relevant nonetheless, particularly in light of the situation many lone soldiers find themselves in.

or those considering the IDF as an option, it would be best not to consider it as a trendy thing to do. It’s not a romp in the park wearing greens and carrying a gun. Two to three years of service is a long time. It requires fortitude and a willingness to push through physical and mental hardships. Most importantly, and at the beginning of the process, it requires honesty, not only from these youngsters, but from their families, friends, and educators. Yes, serving in the IDF is a good fit for some but not for others. One has to be honest in making the right decisions. One’s life might depend on it.

Rafi Sackville, formerly of Cedarhurst, teaches in Ort Maalot in Western Galil.

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TJH

Centerfold

Phun Puns (“Know” Pun Intended) A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)

He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

The one who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.

A backwards poet writes inverse. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine. A lot of money is tainted. It taints yours and it taint mine.

I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I no’ah guy.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man quit his job at the doughnut factory because he was fed up with the hole business.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A- flat minor.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Riddle me B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

this?

There was once a servant with his own farm. This servant grew a delicious crop of apples. One day he decided to take some to the king. The king’s castle was surrounded by 7 layers of walls and each wall had a guard. Each guard stood by a gate. The servant reached the first gate and said, “May I go through to show the king my wonderful apples?” The guard replied, “You may, if you give me half of your apples.” The servant then said, “Fine, but you have to give me back one apple.” The guard agreed. The same scenario repeated itself with each of the guards until the servant finally got to the king. When he reached the king, the servant still had the same amount of apples that he had started with. How is this possible? See answer to the right

You gotta be

kidding

A group of tourists from California and Alabama are in New York and split a double-decker tour bus to go from Manhattan to Atlantic City. The group from California is on the bottom deck and the group from Alabama gets the top deck. The tourists from California are having a blast on the ride. One of them goes up to the top deck to see how the Alabama folks are doing. He walks up the stairs and sees all of the Alabama tourists clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles, scared to death. He says, “What’s goin’ on? Why are you guys so scared? We’re downstairs having a blast.” One of the tourists from Alabama says, “Yeah, but you guys have a driver!”

Answer to Riddle Me This: He started and ended with two apples.

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

a. Two years b. Ten years c. One hundred years d. A thousand years e. Honey never spoils 3. How many queen bees are there in a colony of bees, which consists of 20,00060,000 honeybees? a. 100

6. How many flowers does a honeybee visit during one nectar collection trip? a. 5-10

c. Half of the bees are queen bees

b. 10-20

d. 90% are queen bees

d. 30-40

e. There is only one queen bee

e. 50 to 100

4. What did Romans use honey for?

c. 20-30

7. What is the U.S. per capita consumption of honey?

a. As soap

a. 16 ounces per year

b. To pay taxes

b. 1.3 pounds per year

c. To paint gold

c. 4.2 pounds per year

e. They are male honey bee that do not have stingers and gather neither nectar nor pollen. 9. What shape is a honeycomb? a. Polygon b. Octagon c. Nonagon d. Pentagon e. Hexagon

 Wisdom Key 7-8 correct: You are the queen bee! 3-6 correct: Not bad, but at what point did you fail to realize that the answer pattern is Bee...Bee...Bee? You probably don’t recognize the pattern in honeycombs either, huh? 0-2 correct: Do you even like challah with honey?

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

b. 1,000

d. They are modern drone airplanes made by the U.S. military that have “stinger” missiles and are therefore called Drone Bees.

1. B. The average honeybee makes only one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime. One bee would have to fly around 90,000 miles to make one pound of honey.

c. They are bees that only have stingers but no wings and fly on the backs of other bees

2. E. Honey never goes bad as it has natural preservatives and bacteria can’t grow in it. In 2015, honey was found in the tombs in Egypt. The honey was estimated to be 3,000 years old, and it was still edible.

2. Approximately how long does it take for honey to spoil?

3. E

e. North Dakota

4. B

d. New York

5. E. For the 15th year in a row, in 2018, North Dakota produced the most honey in the U.S. That year, North Dakota produced 38.2 million pounds of honey, valued at a total $71.7 million.

c. Tennessee

b. They are bees that fly above the rest of the colony in order to make sure that they are not attacked by other insects

6. E

d. One hundred

b. Wyoming

a. They are the bees that look for flowers.

7. B

c. One

a. California

8. What are drone bees?

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

b. Two million

5. Which state produces the most honey in the U.S.?

d. 7 pounds per year

8. E

a. Two dozen

d. To bind books

9. E. Creating beeswax requires the bee to expend a lot of honey. They consume eight ounces of honey for every one ounce of wax they create. For this reason, they need to make sure that they aren’t wasting resources when creating the structures that will house nectar and honey. The secret is in the geometry of hexagons which uses the least amount of material to hold the most weight.

1. Approximately how many flowers would a bee have to gather nectar from in order to make one pound of honey?

 Answers

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Honey Trivia

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

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Obituary Bill de Blasio’s presidential campaign, May 15, 2019-Sept. 20, 2019, dead of egoinduced psychosis. Neighbors said the body has been in rigor mortis for some time. It died doing what it loved best – being as far away from New York City as possible. It was surrounded in the end by friends, MSNBC hosts. It’s in a better place now – a Park Slope gym.

Following her rally in New York last night, Senator Elizabeth Warren spent four hours taking selfies with supporters. Meanwhile, Bernie took one selfie that lasted four hours because the camera was accidentally set to video.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

— Seth Meyers

Warren was so popular, the only way police could get everyone to leave was by saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio.” — Jimmy Fallon

It was very expensive. I have to be the first coach to ever throw a wedding for an NBA player. Like, I don’t get that. I don’t think I should have paid. I really don’t. But it was fantastic. - Clippers coach Doc Rivers, talking to the Los Angeles Times about his daughter’s recent marriage to Seth Curry, who recently signed a $32 million deal with the Dallas Mavericks

Dems apparently assume the country hates Trump as much as they do. President Hillary Clinton had no comment on the strategy. – Michael Goodwin, New York Post

Whether it was in the empty churches of South Carolina, the sun-kissed empty deserts of Nevada or begging someone, anyone, to talk to de Blasio at the Iowa State Fair, the campaign always gave 100% – and always polled at 1%. “Can’t” was never part of its vocabulary. Neither was “won’t,” “please stop,” or “this is a dumb idea.” The campaign is survived by hotel industry officials who expect favors from City Hall. And 8 million suffering New Yorkers. In lieu of flowers, de Blasio asks for donations to his slush fund. - Front page of the New York Post after Mayor de Blasio announced on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” that he is ending his presidential campaign for the 2020 Democrat nomination

Even if my husband returns from the grave and tells me to go, I refuse. - Rep. Rashida Tlaib’s grandmother, Palestinian Muftia Tlaib, discussing her disdain for the U.S., in an interview with USA Today

MORE QUOTES

53 YU

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Fo n H ou r w w Fo Wo se s w r & .y M me u. ed en: n: 1 Isra e u/ 11 1 op /2 /17 l Fa i e 4

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

54 We are at the beginning of a mass extinction and all you can talk about is money and fairytales of eternal economic growth. How dare you! – 16-year-old Swedish activist Greta Thunberg, at the United Nations, scolding the world about impending and imminent doom from global warming

Sixteen-year-old Swedish climate change activist Greta Thunberg lives in the healthiest, wealthiest, safest, and most peaceful era humans have ever known. She is one of the luckiest people ever to have lived. In a just world, Thunberg would be at the United Nations thanking capitalist countries for bequeathing her this remarkable inheritance. Instead, she, like millions of other indoctrinated kids her age, act as if they live in a uniquely broken world on the precipice of disaster. This is a tragedy. – David Harsanyi, The Federalist

I’ve always acknowledged I come from a place of privilege but I now need to acknowledge that that comes with a massive blind spot.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

- Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, after numerous old photos surfaced of him wearing blackface

“You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,” Thunberg lectured the world. And maybe she’s right. We’ve failed her by raising a generation of pagans who’ve filled the vacuum left by the absence of faith, not with rationality, but with a cultish worship of Mother Earth and the state… It’s not, of course, her fault. Adults have spent a year creating a 16-year-old because her soundbites comport with their belief system. -Ibid.

I talk to the audience sometimes and I get teary-eyed for no reason. I don’t even bother to explain it anymore. I just experience it. I know it’s a part of who I am and I just keep going. -”Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek, explaining to “Good Morning America” the toll cancer has taken on him, both physically and mentally

Got that? White privilege is the problem. If you’re not listening carefully, it might sound like Trudeau took responsibility for what he did. Just the opposite. When Trudeau blames privilege, he’s transferring responsibility to the rest of us: I did something awful because society itself is rotten. Therefore, I need to keep telling other people how to live their lives. It’s a justification, not a confession. Only the news media was dumb enough to buy it. - Fox’s Tucker Carlson, on Trudeau’s comments

Thankfully, there is a growing recognition in the wider Middle East that the countries of the region share common interest in battling extremism and unleashing economic opportunity. That is why it’s so important to have full normalized relations between Israel and its neighbors. – President Donald Trump addressing the UN General Assembly

Shofar so good. - UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson after a woman on the street handed him a shofar and he tried but failed to blow it

MORE QUOTES

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56 I did this for my human soul, for myself. I wanted to practice and compete with freedom, with peace of mind. I didn’t want to worry about whom to compete with and whom not to compete with. I’ll compete with anyone, to honor the Olympic charter. - Iranian judo competitor, Saeid Mollaei, after he stayed in Germany after the judo championship and sought asylum there, rather than return to Iran, telling the AP that he sought asylum because he “ has been instructed by the Iranian authorities and the Iran Judo Federation to withdraw from competing to avoid a potential contest against an Israeli athlete”

Citizens of Russia and Israel are connected by ties of family, kinship, and friendship. This is a real network, a common family, I say without exaggeration. Israel has almost 2 million Russian-speaking citizens. We consider Israel a Russian-speaking state. - Russian President Vladimir Putin, during a speech on Tuesday in Moscow at an event organized by the United Israel Appeal, a Zionist organization responsible for collecting funds

Even at 102, I can still do big things. I knew I could do it and it was wonderful. -Russell Hendersen, a World War II Air Force veteran, who is in hospice care, after an organization arranged for a handicap-accessible balloon basket to accommodate him in a wheelchair so that he can fly in a hot air balloon

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Shanah Tovah On behalf of The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore and our local and overseas agencies, we wish you and your families a happy, healthy and sweet New Year. May this new year bring peace throughout the world.

May we all go from strength to strength.

Debra S. Weinberg

Marc B. Terrill

Chair of the Board

President

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Find holiday resources at: associated.org/highholidays

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’ve been dating since I was 21. I’m 33 years old now and have been set up with Joseph. He’s a pretty great guy and was married before and has two children. We’ve been out a handful of times, and so far, I enjoy his company. We have a lot in common. But when he talks about his kids, I find myself disinterested. I sound so cold. And I’m really a very warm person. Is it terrible that I’m not interested in his daughter’s teachers or the artwork she made? I would rather talk about the two of

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

us. Is this something I should work on within myself? Try to open myself up to the idea of Joseph’s kids or, if we break up, the idea of marrying a man with kids? I am not in my twenties anymore, and the odds are increasing daily that I will end up someone’s second marriage. Or, do I take this as a sign that I don’t want to marry someone with children from a previous relationship? Putting myself aside, my lack of interest in his daughters scares me because I wouldn’t want to be a disinterested, disconnected stepmother. Joseph’s first priority are his girls, as they should be. I just don’t know if I can handle being number 2. Selfish or self-aware? I’m not sure. Thank you!

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. n short, given what you say about yourself, you seem to be very selfaware. You asked a question, and I am responding with a direct answer. You seem to be very pragmatic. You decided to go out with a divorced young man with children and did not really think about what is involved. That’s OK. You can deal with it now. You know that the children deserve a sincere, caring stepmother and that his children will come first in his life. Blended families need an investment of a lot of effort. You seem to be aware that this will involve effort on your part. You haven’t invested the effort yet. You haven’t concluded, either, that he is worth it. In other words, you are self-aware and you are not that far in the relationship that you have put in the time and effort to know him, his kids, and whether you are up for the challenge. It seems that you haven’t even met them yet. Obviously, you need to invest time in these relationships and effort on your part. You will have to find or create reserves of authentic caring, as well as get to know the children individually. You will have to appreciate them for who they are, not just their father’s children. Most people who are honest with themselves and are used to working on their internal selves can do that, with or without professional help. Only more self-awareness over time will tell that. A future with a blended family is always complicated and takes a lot of effort that outsiders do not see. It takes a lot of maturity, effort, and time. It’s doable but you have to want to do it. You understand that this is part of the Joseph package and that you will decide about this relationship and situation over time. Methinks you are up to this tall order.

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. everal weeks ago, our forum dealt with the quandary of a divorced mom dating a guy with a defective “father gene.” In this thought-provoking episode, your question concerns the mirror-image “second-timearound” dilemma. This time, you are the subject with the disconnected, more likely, untested “mother gene.” Also, and perhaps most important, you were never married, are possibly overly dated, and are quite the catch. Can you be a loving surrogate to another woman’s children? Must you, because of societal pressure and a dwindling singles’ pool, resign yourself to marriage as a second wife? Only you can answer. You sound like you’re pretty self-aware. There’s your practical side: the little voice that whispers, “Hey, there aren’t a lot of eligible thirty-something single guys out there: it’s time to think out of the box.” Enter Joseph: a great guy with a history. Someone who’s already been married, disappointed, and hence, divorced. Someone with two daughters and an ex-wife in the shadows. Bottom line: a Mensch with Baggage. You are also beleaguered with self-doubt over the fact you’re not excited about someone else’s children. But, why would you be? You’ve never met the little charmers (and what are the custody arrangements, anyway?). Until you become Mrs. Joseph, they are, understandably, the sole object of Joseph’s affection and attention. Can he find space in his heart for the three of you? It’s pencil and paper time. Make a spreadsheet entitled: “Should I Marry Joseph?” Draw a line down the middle; on one side you’ll list the pros, on the other, the cons. Off the bat, give Joseph five stars for prov-

ing to be a responsible, dedicated parent. Four stars for being an attentive, loving, and caring human being (as evidenced by his warmth towards his children). Two stars for maturity and marital experience. You get my drift. Most important, engage a qualified family therapist to help you with the process and deal with your self-doubt and ambivalence. Without question, second marriages are fraught with complications; still, first marriages are not guaranteed, either. Approach this relationship with an open mind, the guidance of professionals, and meticulous reference checking. Becoming a second wife may not have been part of your original “when I marry” narrative, but it can lead to a happy ending – for you, your new husband, his children, and your future.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond efore I respond I would like to quote something you said in your letter: “Putting myself aside, my lack of interest in his daughters scares me because I wouldn’t want to be a disinterested, disconnected stepmother. Joseph’s first priority are his girls, as they should be.” I hear in this sentence that you currently truly believe if you marry Joseph you will be a disinterested and disconnected stepmother. Contrast this to the woman who wrote in a few weeks ago. This woman watched as her divorced fiancé interacted with his own and her children while they spent time together. He seemed distant, but she was not sure whether this was because of the newness of a blending family or his interest level in children altogether. At that time, I advised her to take steps to figure out if it is the former or the latter. In this case, however, you are tell-

Becoming a second wife may not have been part of your original “when I marry” narrative, but it can lead to a happy ending.

ing the panel that you are absolutely sure that you have no interest in Joseph’s children. This bothers you for two reasons: 1) You truly like Joseph and it is going well, however, you have no interest in his daughters; and 2) You realize that at the age of 33, you must widen your net of potential suitors to men divorced with children. So if not Joseph and his kids, who will be next? Could be Shloime and his five children, who knows? First, let me address issue number one. Part of the package you will receive with Joseph are his two girls. Look at them as extensions of his entire essence and being. You would never marry a man and say you like everything about him except his face. This man’s face bothers you to look at and makes you disinterested, but he is nice, normal (a luxury), treats you well, and is a good person. Joseph’s daughters are like another limb on his body and no matter how much you care for Joseph, if you do not learn to care about his daughters, the marriage will be on shaky ground. You mentioned nowhere in your letter that he talks about his kids beyond the scope of normal, which assures me that he is not over-shar-

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ing in any type of inappropriate way. Think about all the things in your life that you are passionate about. Think about the talents, passions, and hobbies you like to discuss on dates. Why should Joseph need to feel deprived of occasionally speaking about his daughters, an extension of himself, if they are essentially and understandably such a huge part of his life? You would not want it the other way around. After all, if this bothers you so much (just as if you were bothered by his face and couldn’t stand it) then it could be you are absolutely not ready to be dating men with children and you are truly not bashert yet. “Evil stepmothers” exist not just in fairytales; rather, the fairytales stem from real life concepts. There are many tragic stories of children whose parents divorce and remarry people with no intent to be part of their stepchildren’s lives. This is traumatic for the children who then feel they not only lost a cohesive

family unit, but then lost a parent to a disinterested stranger. Then there are the divorced parents who remarry loving, open, accepting humans who take care of their stepchildren like their own. I have witnessed the beauty of this with some singles I have met. I once had a meeting with a lovely young woman whose parents were divorced when she was a young child. Her mother remarried a thoughtful and caring man who immediately took it on to love her children as his own. As soon as I finished meeting with this young woman, her stepfather called to put a voice to a name, to thank me for my time, and to sing her praises. I was so deeply touched by this act of kindness and it showed me how not every divorce situation will lead to long-term trauma. Some situations can be beautiful, loving, and accepting, fostering healthy relationships with blended families. This brings us to issue number two as I wrote above. You are being

open to dating men with children not because you are embracing it but because you feel like realistically it will help widen your net of potential spouses. To this, I answer: life does not work like that. If you are truly not ready to embrace a man’s children and love them as your own, you have no business marrying their father. Dating men with children simply because you have more options that way is not good enough. If you would like to marry this man, you must first work on yourself to come to a place where you are interested in embracing a man along with his children, not despite them.

The Single Tova Wein ou sound like a very realistic young woman. Yes, it’s true – that at a certain age, it’s often help-

Our hearts are capable of doling out enormous amounts of love for all the people in our lives.

ful to widen the net and consider dating and marrying someone who has previously been married, since meeting a single person who has never been married before is definitely possible, but the opportunities do become slimmer with each passing year. It sounds like you’ve begun the journey of doing some very critical soul-searching. Not everyone is cut out to be a step-parent. It doesn’t make them a bad person by any means – it’s just who they are

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and what they are capable of. I’m sure we all know of plenty of marriages that include a spouse who is serving in that role successfully and loving the opportunity to connect with their spouses’ children. But I applaud you for not taking

for granted your ability to be that person. Therefore, I encourage you to continue on this journey of being very clear with yourself regarding who and what you are and are not. A coach or therapist

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

irstly, I must comment on your incredible self-awareness. You did not envision marrying a divorced father and here you are willing to look inside yourself, asking the question: Am I selfish or self-aware? Many people are quick to recite their list of “nopes.” Nope, I will not marry someone less than 6 feet tall. Nope, I will not marry someone who used to watch movies. Nope, I will not marry someone with children. (And the last “nope” is considerably different than the first two “nopes.”) Some people are unwilling to adjust their expectations or part from the vision of what they thought their lives would look like. And, understandably so. Who wants to give up the dream? But here you are, doing the exact opposite; utilizing self-introspection to determine if you could make this huge adjustment to your happily after ever. Ultimately, the decision is yours. No one should be telling you what to do. There is no right or wrong here. You may want to consider speaking with someone to help you sort out your thoughts and concerns. You also may want to speak to some stepparents to learn about their experiences. You don’t strike me as a selfish person. Not getting excited about Joseph’s daughter’s artwork does not signal selfishness. It very well may simply signal that this child is not your daughter. And that’s OK. It’s really OK. I don’t know that it has any great signif-

icance into your personality or ability to ultimately love his children. It is perfectly normal that in your heart of hearts you want to be Joseph’s number one. Let’s acknowledge that for a moment. I find you to be quite caring, actually. So caring that you don’t want to put Joseph in the position of him having to choose between you and his children. You mentioned that you don’t want to be disinterested and disconnected as a stepmother and that you understand that his children would be number one. These are actually all the qualities of an incredible stepmother. I don’t know if you are aware of that. But it’s true. Being a stepparent is an incredible responsibility. And yes, Joseph’s priority will always be his children. But the love a parent has for a child is a very different love than one has for their spouse. Our hearts are capable of doling out enormous amounts of love for all the people in our lives. And if Joseph is a warm, loving, open and available man, he will have plenty of love, time, and attention to give to you. If that is the case, it really boils down to whether or not you want to walk into an existing family. At some point in time, you would have to find out about his divorce settlement with regard to custody, finances, and Joseph’s vision for his second marriage with regard to

would certainly be a big help with finding ultimate clarity. However, not to be ignored, I have to wonder whether the man you are dating can use a little guidance. It’s great that he is close to his children and that they take up a great deal of his headspace but could it be that he is overly involved in a way that blinds him to certain

realities, such as why would any woman really care all that much about his children’s artwork, etc.? And if he could rein in a bit of his excitement over every little achievement, at least with the woman he is dating and perhaps, hoping to marry, would the situation seem more manageable for you? That’s another issue that needs to be addressed and looked at through a clear, honest lens.

his expectations of you as stepmom. Does he have a healthy vision of your role? I don’t encourage people to date divorcees if they are absolutely against it. However, if someone has met an incredible person, and they are on the fence, as you are, what I do believe in my heart of hearts (after seeing this so many times) is that it is very hard to walk away from that person. I must share with you the beautiful happily ever afters, with the new couple going on to bring their own child(ren) into the world and the “stepkids” feeling more like your own kids once you’ve given them siblings. But I hesitate to paint a rosy picture because there are challenges and it doesn’t work out beautifully for everyone. You are right about the dating pool. You are 33-years-old and a good number of guys your age have been married and have children. If Joseph is special and you are thinking he might be the one, I urge you to speak with a professional to sort through your concerns.

At some point, if you come to realize you want to move forward, it may be wise to bring him into the sessions or work with a neutral, new party to work through navigating entry into this family. But whatever you do, you should feel comfortable and confident and not make any decision either way from a sense of desperation. You must feel good about moving forward in the direction you choose. All the best, Jennifer Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. She is looking forward to teaching a psychology course at Touro College in the fall. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

Hi Readers! Receiving your enthusiastic emails wanting to participate in the Reader’s Respond section has been wonderful! Just a reminder about how Reader Response works. Email thenavidaters@gmail. com with the subject line “Reader Response.” We will then ask you, in the order we receive your email, if you would like to respond to the coming week’s email. If you would like to respond to an already printed Navidaters Panel, please submit your answer to the editor at editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com. You can also join us on our FB page @thenavidaters on Sunday evenings to post your response to the week’s column. Interacting with you has been a pleasure! Thank you for all of your feedback. Jennifer

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Dalya Attar L’shana Tova By Author

Tov Lehodot L’Hashem. It is good to give thanks to G-d. As we approach Rosh Hashana, I want to publicly thank Hashem and take a moment to reflect on all our accomplishments since last year. Shortly after Rosh Hashana last year, I won the general election for State Delegate and became the first frum person to represent our community in the House of Delegates. A few months later, my first session in the General Assembly began. There were many accomplishments for our community during this session, and I want to take a moment to highlight just a few. Non-public school funding was a hot topic, with many legislators fighting to reduce the amount of money given to non-public schools while in-

creasing the amount given to public schools. As I fiercely advocated, it is crucial that we properly fund all our schools, and ultimately we were successful in slightly increasing funding for non-public schools, including additional money to the BOOST (Broadening Options and Opportunities for Students Today) and capital security improvements programs. In addition to funding for our schools, I advocated for a hate-crimes grant program in the amount of 3 million dollars to remain in the budget for houses of worship. As a result, many of our local shuls have applied and are eligible to receive funding from this program. We are unfortunately living in times when Jews experience the highest percentage of hate crimes against them based on religious bias,

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per the FBI’s 2017 hate crime statistics. Obviously, this funding is crucial. For the first time this past year in the Maryland General Assembly, the Physician Assisted Suicide bill came very close to passing. As I am writing this, I am reminded of the emotions I experienced on the floor of the House during the debate. I cannot even begin to imagine – and I daven every day that I never have to know – what it is like to be in a position of wanting that medication. It is also not my place to judge those who may be in such a horrid position. But this bill is a very dangerous bill. It is a slippery slope. Voting against this bill took a lot of courage. There was constant advocacy for this bill from many of my colleagues throughout session, but I voted against it, and I am so grateful this bill was ultimately unsuccessful. Although session ended in April, the work did not stop, and my constituents continue to require advocacy on their behalf. During the summer, I was privileged to join Chayeinu in attempting to break the stigma surrounding drug abuse in our community, and hopefully even save lives. As Rosh Hashana is approaching, I think about all the young lives our community has lost as a result of the opioid epidemic. Thank God, we are finallly starting to break the stigma that exists in many communities. For the first time in our community, Chayeinu and I hosted a Narcan event at Ner Tamid,

where we trained community members to administer Narcan, life-saving medication that saves people from opioid overdoses. Over 200 community members left the event with 2 doses of this medication and the knowledge to use it. After this historic event, Chayeinu Baltimore and I were invited by Bais Yaakov of Baltimore to train staff members on the use of Narcan and provide the staff with Narcan. I applaud Bais Yaakov for unequivocally showing that our children come first and that each child’s life is so precious. With the yomim tovim approaching, my second session in the General Assembly is not long after. I have been spending much of my time meeting with community members and preparing legislation for my second session. I am therefore very excited to announce that my district office is up and running for my constituents. We are located at 1501 Sulgrave Avenue in Mt. Washington. Walk-in hours are Tuesdays and Wednesdays between 10am-3pm, or you can call 443-3888681 to schedule a meeting. My staff and I are here to address the needs of my constituents, so please stop by or give us a call. ‫ו‬‎‫לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמ‬ May we all be inscribed and sealed for a good year. Delegate Dalya Attar

Delegate Dalya Attar

Senator Jill P. Carter

Delegate Sandy Rosenberg

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Vaad HaRabbanim Tefillah and Tzedaka in One? Don’t Miss This Special Opportunity Ahead Of Rosh Hashana! Teshuva, Tefillah, Tzedaka – the trio of potent weaponry in our arsenal to nullify any painful decrees for the upcoming year R”l. As we approach Rosh Hashana 5780 – with our fates and the fates of our families in the balance – we are presented with an incredible, easy opportunity for both tefillah and tzedakah at the highest levels. The Gadol Hador, HaRav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a, places only one request that someone should daven on his behalf before the Yomim Nora’im. Rav Chaim personally donates to the Vaad Harabanim L’inyanei Tzedaka and handwrites his name and mother’s name, requesting that other Gedolei Eretz Yisroel daven for him in the zechus of his donation. Can we even imagine the benefit

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Mental Health Corner

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

Appreciation and Approval

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Human beings crave appreciation. It is extremely disappointing when we are not appreciated by our spouse, family, friends, or coworkers. People will often switch jobs for the sole reason that they were not fully appreciated in their former place of employment. When spouses do not appreciate each other this is a sign of a very troubled marriage. This is typical for emotionally healthy people as we all have a need to feel appreciated. You might wonder why this is healthy. Isn’t it a sign of internal emptiness if we feel lacking unless we are appreciated by other people? If you are asking this question, you might be confusing appreciation with approval. The definition of appreciation is an accurate perception of something (as in the sentence, “Shimon had an appreciation of the artifact’s value.”) The definition of approval is an acknowledgement that a person or object meets certain requirements (as in the sentence, “Rachel’s request received an approval.”) In the social realm, appreciation is when others recognize your true value and worth, whereas approval is when others verify your acceptability. Appreciation is a basic human need. The need for approval indicates an emotional injury. Why is this so? We were created to be members of a community. You can’t thrive as part of a community unless you are recognized for who you really are. Therefore, when we are lacking appreciation, we feel unconnected to those around us. Even if we have no internal doubt whatsoever about our own selfworth, we still want others to see us for who we are and to appreciate us. If you are on the receiving end of an act of kindness it is self-understood that you should reciprocate with a “thank

you” or some other display of your appreciation of your benefactor. Hence, yearning for appreciation is a normal emotion. Approval is something entirely different. When you seek approval from others, you are doubting your own self-worth and are looking for someone to verify that you meet certain standards of value. You are not merely yearning for a social connection, you are feeling empty and fake inside and you need someone else to approve of you. This is not coming from an emotionally healthy place. We often develop our sense of self-worth from our parents. When parents express healthy love to their children and view their children as being capable, valuable and loveable, then the child has a very good chance of growing up with a strong sense of self-worth and will not be beholden to the approval of others. When parents view their children as being troublesome and unlikeable, then the child is at risk of growing up with a very poor sense of self and might develop an unhealthy need for the approval of others.

If you suspect that you are an approval-seeker, you might want to explore the option of psychotherapy. Many therapists are welltrained and experienced in helping people develop a healthy sense of self even after years of suffering. Emotional scars can heal with the proper intervention.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

A New Year, A New You By Aliza Beer MS, RD, CDN

osh Hashana is a time of renewal, repentance, and rebirth. It is the perfect time to examine not only our middos but also our relationship with food. Many people find it challenging to maintain the right balance of what, when, and how much to eat. Some are eating too much, others too little, still others are eating too late, and many are simply eating very unhealthy foods. Rosh Hashana presents an excellent opportunity to renew not just our souls, but our bodies as well. But first, we have to navigate our way through a yom tov that comes immediately after a Shabbos! Implementing a healthy plan of action for the chag will help set a precedent for the new year, including the rest of the upcoming chagim. • Control the Challah: Challah is like cake; it contains sugar, oil, and eggs, just like cake. I understand it’s a yom tov, but let’s be reasonable about how much challah is really necessary. On the Shabbos that immediately precedes Rosh Hashana try to eat matzah and limit the challah. Matzah is a clean carb and contains just flour and water. Buy whole wheat or spelt matzah and stick to one board (remember, portion control). Indulge in challah for two out of the four yom tov meals. Enjoy one slice and move on to the next course. Eat matzah at the other two meals. • Minimize the Meat: Red meat is higher in artery-clogging fat and calories than chicken, so limit your intake to no more than twice over the two days. Red meat includes beef, lamb, and veal. Bison is not consid-

ered a red meat. Suggestion: eat chicken, not red meat, on the Shabbos right before yom tov. • Kill the Kugels: Limit your side dishes to roasted veggies, including but not limited to: string beans, cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, peppers, mushrooms, and cabbage. Carby sides can include brown rice, quinoa, farro, and sweet potato wedges/fries. These sides are best made with either a little olive oil or avocado oil and any herbs/spices that you desire. Salt and pepper are safe and makes everything tasty, but experiment with other herbs and spices like onion, garlic, rosemary, turmeric, nutmeg, basil, and parsley.

poultry or meat. The second night is an excellent meal to eat a lighter dinner. • Ditch Dessert? One cannot expect to eat dessert (aka sugar, margarine, oil, and white flour) at every meal for four meals in a row and not gain weight – besides for the fact that it is extraordinarily unhealthy for every single part of your body. Mindfully indulge in dessert for two out of the four meals. Try baked apples, poached pears, or sugar-free compote for the other two meals. • Eat Breakfast: If you skip breakfast, you will come to these late lunches starving and will subsequently overeat. Have plain Greek

Experiment with other herbs and spices like onion, garlic, rosemary, turmeric, nutmeg, basil, and parsley.

• Let’s Go Fishing: I have a heretic suggestion. Consider eating at least one (maybe two?) non-fleishig meals. The way Rosh Hashana falls out this year it’s practically like a threeday yom tov and that means there are too many heavy meals in a row. Fish contain heart-healthy omega 3 fatty acids and are a “lighter” protein than

yogurt or low-fat cottage cheese with some fruit, or make some eggs if you have the time. Making or buying a diet cheesecake (like the Say Cheese brand) is another fast and easy option for breakfast. • Walk: Weather permitting, go for a walk each afternoon. We are sitting in shul and sitting around the

table for hours at a time, we need to go burn off some calories! • Hold the Honey! Although honey is natural and not processed like sugar, there is about 30% more sugar and calories in honey than in sugar, and your body breaks down the honey into sugar easily. Of course, you can dip your apple/challah/matzah into the honey, but please don’t slather it all over your food. In recipes, substitute agave for honey. Besides for being a little less caloric, the agave doesn’t spike our blood sugar like honey, and our insulin response will be diminished. In addition to making this a healthier Rosh Hashana, we can use this time as a starting point for a healthier new year. Utilize the opportunity to commit to a healthier lifestyle and to begin thinking of concrete ways to buy, cook, and eat healthier food. Without a plan, it is impossible to actualize tmhis commitment. We should be rethinking our breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all the snacks we eat. It’s important to take into account the types of food we eat, the portion sizes, and the times that we eat them. By crafting a balanced plan full of healthy options and tasty treats, we can make this our healthiest year yet! Kesiva v’chasima tova. Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer.

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Your

Money

SEPTEMBER 26, 2019

The One Where They Bust the Bitcoin Buyers

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By Allan Rolnick, CPA

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oday’s high-tech economy is all about reinvention. We’ve got Tesla reinventing cars, Amazon reinventing delivery, and WeWork turning offices into a “state of consciousness.” (Shhh, don’t tell Michael Scott.) We’ve also got Bitcoin and other blockchain-based cryptocurrencies trying to reinvent money. Never mind that most people have no idea how cryptocurrencies actually work. Buying in has become ridiculously easy. Just download an app, find the nearest Bitcoin ATM, feed in a stack of Benjamins, and stuff your online “wallet” with all the “coins” you can afford. Is Bitcoin really currency? Not yet. True currencies have to serve two functions: a means of exchange and a store of value. Bitcoin isn’t accepted by enough mainstream vendors to overcome its initial sketchy reputation and serve as a true means of exchange. As for the whole “store of value” thing, well, you can buy it before breakfast and lose half your stake by lunch, which means it fails that test, too. So Bitcoin has become largely a speculative playground for white-knuckled tech bros hoping to take down a quick score without having to start their own company. Back in 2014, the IRS issued Notice

2014-41 treating cryptocurrencies as property. If you buy it at one price, then spend it on something at another, you’ll owe tax on any gain from the time you bought it to the time you spent it. With prices bouncing around like that little white ball right before it falls into a roulette wheel, there are lots of gains and

we can be pretty sure the answer would be “tough noogies.” Anyway, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 shot it down entirely by limiting 1031 exchanges to real estate. Other traders had an even simpler plan, which boiled down to “what happens in the Bitcoin wallet stays in

Well, you can buy it before breakfast and lose half your stake by lunch, which means it fails that test, too.

losses. (The good news is, if you have the guts to hold your position for more than a year, you’ll benefit from lower long-term gain rates.) Some traders have argued that exchanging one cryptocurrency for another – trading, say, Bitcoin for Ethereum – isn’t a “sale” at all, but rather, a “like-kind exchange.” The IRS hasn’t formally answered that argument, but there are enough problems with it that

the Bitcoin wallet.” That might have worked, too, if the IRS hadn’t shown up in the wallet. In 2016, they discovered just 800 to 900 taxpayers had filed Form 8949 to report income from Bitcoin. That seemed awfully low, considering all the hype. So the next year, they served a John Doe summons demanding names and trading records from Coinbase, one of the biggest digital currency wallets. (That’s the same

kind of summons they served on Swiss Banks to find U.S. depositors.) Now the IRS has upped the stakes. In June, they sent scary letters to 10,000 traders “suggesting” they verify they filed their taxes correctly or amend their returns. In some cases, they’re even sending actual bills. (They’ve already got the records, so they don’t need traders to do the math.) Some of those bills may be based on incorrect assumptions, like taxing gross proceeds rather than net gains. But for traders who don’t respond properly, it’s probably going to be like Oprah taking over the audit division: “You get an audit! And you get an audit! And you get an audit!” Most people think Bitcoin is still a joke. And it will be, until the day it’s not. In the meantime, if you decide to join the party, we have legitimate strategies to help you pay less tax. So be sure to let us know before you buy in, so we can be here to help you cash out!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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