There’s an old Chinese parable about an elderly man who becomes too frail to work and spends his days sitting on the porch. His son, burdened with supporting a family, wonders what use his father is now and decides it’s time for him to go. He builds a box, places his father inside, and wheels it to the edge of a cliff. Before tossing it over, the father taps on the box and says, “Why not save the box? Your children may need it for you one day.” This story reflects our fear of aging—becoming a burden to others when we can no longer contribute. This Motzei Shabbos we begin Selichos which is highlighted with the opening of the Aron Kodesh and the recital of וּנֵלֵוֹק
. We say,
“Do not cast us off in old age, when our strength fails, do not forsake us.” Many worry that as they age and lose vitality, they will become less valued. Even if we lose our abilities, we hope to be appreciated for our intrinsic worth, beyond our skills or accomplishments. This Tefillah is a plea to maintain our youthful vibrancy, be surrounded by love, and treated with dignity, even as we age and become dependent on others.
The parable also teaches a lesson about parenting. Children learn not just from what we say but from what we do. If we want our children to respect us in our elder years, we must show respect to our own parents. Our behavior sets an example, and how we treat others is how we may one day be treated. The plea “
reminds us that if we want to be treated with dignity in our
later years, we must support the older generation with the same care.
As we gather for Selichos this year, we reflect on our actions. For weeks, we’ve been preparing spiritually through introspection, teshuva, tzedaka, and the sounding of the shofar. The work of teshuva isn’t meant to happen in just the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur—it begins in Elul and intensifies with Selichos. This process of self-reflection helps us face our shortcomings and strive for improvement in the coming year.
It’s easy to say we want to change or or do teshuva, but the real challenge lies in doing the work. In the first of this weeks two parshios, Nitzavim, the Torah reminds us that change is within our reach—it is not too mysterious or distant.
This teaches that the ability to make meaningful changes, to grow spiritually, and to follow in Hashem’s path is not something beyond our capability. We don’t need to rely on extraordinary efforts or distant, unattainable knowledge. Instead, the tools for transformation—our thoughts, words, and actions—are already within us. It empowers us to recognize that we are capable of choosing a better path, and with sincere effort, we can bring about positive change in our lives.
Wishing everyone a peaceful Shabbos, Aaron Menachem
Send us your: community events, articles & photos, and mazal tovs to editor@baltimorejewishhome.com to be featured in coming editions!
Around the Community
Mercaz Night Seder Launches Its 7th Year Of Learning
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah recently launched its 7th year of “Mercaz Night Seder” for Middle School boys, bringing together boys from 6th, 7th and 8th grades across the 3 major boys’ schools in the Baltimore community: Talmudical Academy (TA), Torah Institute (TI) and Toras Simcha.
This program combines 2 objectives into one: Provide a framework for the boys to eagerly come review their Gemara after school, and foster a sense of Achdus among so many boys of different ages and schools all learning together in the same Beis Medrash.
The program kicked off on Monday night, with almost 180 kids (!) in attendance. The Menahalim of all 3 schools came to experience the packed Beis Medrash firsthand and to address the boys: Rabbi Yaakov Schwartz of TA, Rabbi Shimon Hirsch of TI and Rabbi Hillel Shepard of Toras Simcha.
Toras Simcha is the newest school
to join this remarkable program, as they have a full Middle School for the first time as of last year. Rabbi Hillel Shepard, Menahel of Toras Simcha, remarked: “I was very impressed by the tremendous Ruach and Kol Torah at the Night Seder program last night, and I think it’s a very good thing for the boys to take part in”.
The program is led by Rabbi Michoel Berkowitz and Rabbi Ariel Fogel of TA, and Rabbi Dovid Naiman of TI. The Rabbeim are available to talk to the boys in learning, answer questions and help them with finding a Chavrusa. Though the program has no formal incentives, the Rabbeim regularly treat the boys to various goodies and raffles.
After a lively (and loud!) learning session, the kickoff event was graced by the presence of the Zidichov Rebbe, Harav Yissochor Dov Eichenstein Shlit”a. After the Rebbe welcomed the boys and shared Divrei Pesicha, the Menahalim each spoke in turn:
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Rabbi Schwartz focused on how the unity among the boys is a perfect preparation for Rosh HaShana, since this is the way we are supposed to crown Hashem as the Passuk states:
Rabbi Hirsch compared this type of mass gathering for learning Torah to the Mitzvah of להקה and how it has echoes of יניס
He remarked that though the Mitzvah of להקה is only once in 7 years, with this program we have להקה 3 times a week!
Rabbi Shepard shared an inspiring story in connection with the Passuk we say twice a day this time of year:
He explained that boys who come to Night Seder after school are demonstrating that they indeed “live” in the “'ה תיב” even when they are outside of their classroom or Beis Medrash.
The program ended with the boys lining up to say Shalom Aleichem to the Rebbe and to each receive a $5 bill from the Rebbe!
Chai Lifeline Launches Young Leaders Committee In The Mid-Atlantic Region
CHAI Lifeline is thrilled to launch our Young Leaders committee that will help us continue to make an impact in the Mid-Atlantic region. Our Young Leaders, headed by Yitzi & Neshi Teichman, kicked things off with a light social at Five Iron Golf.
We’re excited for the Young Leaders committee to grow and look forward to welcoming more young leaders.
Chasdei Lev’s Mission Of Gratitude For Mechanchim
By BJLife Newsroom
Chasdei Lev extends gratitude to our devoted Rebbeim and Moros who are mechanech our children, day in and day out, through ups and downs, with unwavering commitment and dedication.
They are not only the heroes of their students, but the heroes of Klal Yisroel. There is no one more deserving of our appreciation.
Chasdei Lev helps alleviate the overwhelming financial burden of Yomim Tovim for mechanchim across North America
Mesorah Baltimore welcomed Mrs. Rivka Segal for an in person shiur. The class which focused on L’Dovid Hashem Ori enabled the women in attendance to prepare themselves spiritually for Rosh Hashanah. The program was part of Mesorah Baltimore’s robust Elul programming. More information about upcoming classes can be found at Mesorahbaltimore.org.
Bais Dovid, Beis Medrash of Summit Park, Celebrates Hachnasas Sefer Torah
Baruch Hashem, Bais Dovid, Beis Medrash of Summit Park, had the tremendous zechus to celebrate the Hachnasas Sefer Torah, generously donated by R’ Menachem and Elisheva Elishkevitz, parents of Zack & Tami Teichman.
It was a beautiful event filled with simcha, music, and achdus, as our community united to honor this sacred milestone. May this Sefer Torah bring continued bracha and growth to our kehilla.
WEEKLY CALENDAR SEPTEMBER
Monday September 30
9:30 am Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:00 am Baking with Ms. Hirschman
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp
1:00 pm
Arts & Crafts with Shifra
2:00 pm Guitar with Yossi K
Tuesday October 1st
9:30 am Yoga with Deborah Bandos
10:00 am
Anagrams with Malka Zweig
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp
1:00 pm
Rosh Hashana
Preparation with Rabbi Abba Spero
1.45 pm
Guitar with Yossi K
Wednesday October 2nd
11:00 am
Discussion Group with Rabbi Karp
1:00 pm
Arts and Crafts with Shifra
1:45 pm Guitar with Yossi K
Over the coming weeks, we recite Hashem’s Thirteen Middos of Rachamim in selichos and Yamim Noraim davening countless time, and Hashem guarantees that if we “do” these, He will forgive us. In the first chapter of Tomer Devorah, the great Kabbalist Rabbi Moshe Cordevero analyzes these Middos and shows how we can emulate them.
Through a clear elucidation, commentary, and notes, Rabbi Yechezkel Elias explores how Hashem practices each Middah, how we can mirror it, and shows us how to “put it into practice.”
Pele Yoeitz was written two hundred years ago, but it speaks to our generation as if it were written today. The author, Rav Eliezer Papo, the renowned 19th-century halachic authority and kabbalist, covers a wide variety of topics, in alphabetical order, without preaching or rebuking.
FROM THE AUTHOR’S INTRODUCTION:
“[People] should study my sefer and deliver public lectures [based upon] my words in shuls and study halls… I will repay with the choicest [of compensation] anyone from whom I received benefit [through their study and the teaching of my words]…”
Volume dedicated by Carol and Ian Ratner HAAS FAMILY EDITION
Greater Washington: Around the Community
Exciting Youth Programming Launch At Chabad Silver Spring
Chabad Silver Spring has elevated its youth programming this year, bringing Mushka and Mushka from LA to lead the charge. Their energy and vision have already made a significant impact, and they will manage and support all of Chabad’s youth initiatives throughout the year.
From Shabbos kids’ groups to Hebrew School, CTeen, Bat Mitzvah Club, and kids’ holiday programs, the lineup is robust and engaging. The kickoff events for CTeen and the Bat Mitzvah Club were highly successful, setting a positive tone for what promises to be a year filled with fun, themed,
and growth-oriented activities for the next generation of Klal Yisrael.
With a focus on creating meaningful experiences, Chabad Silver Spring is committed to nurturing a vibrant community for our youth. Stay tuned for more exciting events and programs as we embark on this enriching journey together!
Kulam Kicks Off A Fantastic Season of Community And Connection
Kulam is off to a fantastic start this season, launching with an exhilarating pool party, volleyball game, and BBQ that set the perfect tone for the months ahead. We have already enjoyed an awesome mini-series of baseball on excellent fields, and the flag football season has begun with fun and fierce
many former members are stepping into coaching roles in the flag football league. This reflects our commitment to building a continuous supportive community and nurturing future leaders.
Thanks to our generous swag sponsors, Katz Law and Town Ap-
outlets. Kulams impact on the boys is profound and lasting. Beyond the fun, Kulam offers the boys a chance to take a break from their daily routines, interact with positive role models, and find their place in Yiddishkeit. Here, they can express the talents bestowed upon them by HKBH and cultivate a genuine sense of belonging.
Stay tuned for our exciting lineup of activities! We have trips, visits to senior citizens, bake nights, paint nights, Melave Malka gatherings, and many more fun experiences lined up. These activities are designed to keep the boys engaged and to help them feel good about themselves.
Kulam’s positive impact on our participants has been profound in the past, and we eagerly anticipate a year filled with growth, excitement, and shared experiences. Here’s to an incredible season ahead!
Ohr Hatorah and Kollel Zichron Amram have joined forces to create a powerful learning experience for the community. Every Sunday morning, Kollel members come together with community members for enriching Torah study, fostering a beautiful connection that sets a positive tone for the week ahead.
This past Sunday, they held a special Yom Iyun focused on the topic of Teshuva. The event featured a lavish breakfast, creating a welcoming atmosphere for in-depth learning on the sugya of Teshuva, based on the teachings of the Rambam. The morning was filled with a vibrant Kol Torah,
as participants engaged passionately in the sugya, resulting in an uplifting Kiddush Hashem.
The morning’s highlight was an exhilarating and personal shiur from the Rosh Kollel, Rabbi Reingold Shlita. His insights provided meaningful guidance as the community prepares for the upcoming Yomim Noraim.
It’s truly special to have a Kollel so integrated and involved in the spiritual development of the larger community. This collaboration not only enriches individual learning but also strengthens the bonds within our community. We look forward to many more inspiring sessions together!
Now in its second year, we are excited to announce that the Berman Scholars proinaugurated as the Upper Sloan
Dave and Deb Sloan, Z”L, who were deeplyly wisdom. Despite not having had the opportunity to pursue academic and Zelda instilled in their children a love of learning and Jewish values that down to future generations.
commitment to integrating rigorous Torah study with the richness of world knowledge, the Sloan Scholars Program offers our students a unique path to explore is a pilot program drew nearly 50 students from three grades, who voluntarily and eagerly participated in monthly seminars, diving into philosophical works, from those by R. Norman Lamm, R. Jonathan to those by Leo Tolstoy and
Franz Kafka. Students described the experience as “an opportunity to engage with like-minded thinkers” and a chance to “talk meaningfully about Jewish values and ideas.”
Building on that success, the Sloan Scholars Program will now expand to include grade-level seminars, cultural outings, and guest lectures in Torah, philosophy, and culture. Seniors will complete a capstone project on a Modern Orthodox topic of their choice, providing a meaningful conclusion to their four years in the program.
This program truly embodies our Modern Orthodox mission: encouraging students to live integrated lives where Torah and modernity inform and enrich one another. As Dave and Deb Sloan shared, “By challenging students with the integration of robust machshava, literature, and philosophy, both their Torah perspective and intellectual mettle are elevated.”
We look forward to watching our students grow through this transformative program, preparing them to lead thoughtful, committed Jewish lives.
Shabsai Shuchatowitz, CEO
613 Seconds with Jeremy Stern, Director of Partnerships, CauseMatch
BJH: Tell us about yourself
Jeremy Stern: I live in Efrat with my wife and 6 kids, having made aliyah from New York 11 years ago. I’ve always know that I wanted to work for the Jewish community in nonprofits. For the first 15 years of my career, I worked IN nonprofits, focused on fundraising and leadership. Three and a half years ago, I shifted to working WITH nonprofits as the Director of Partnerships at CauseMatch, and I’ve been at CauseMatch ever since. At CauseMatch, I have the privilege of helping amazing organizations all over the world scale up their fundraising success through strategic crowdfunding campaigns.
BJH: Crowdfunding has really taken off in the past few years. Why do you think that is?
JS: During Covid, nonprofits shifted dramatically from in-person events like dinners to digital fundraising campaigns. Once they saw how effective this approach is, it
stuck! Crowdfunding capitalizes on one of the most basic principles of fundraising: people give to people.
BJH: There are so many different crowdfunding companies now operating in the space. What makes CauseMatch different?
JS: I love this question! There are three things that make us stand out:
1. We’re an Israel-based tech company. That means that we take cutting-edge tech tools that Google and Amazon use to get consumers to make purchases online, and we adapt them for nonprofit fundraising. Our campaign pages are optimized for donor conversion, which means that more people actually donate on a CauseMatch campaign page than on any other platform. The data doesn’t lie.
2. Our strategy is second to none, and that translates into more raised… a LOT more. Campaign organizers need direction and guidance to implement data-driven best practices. The coaching and strategic tools that we have developed are unlike anything else on the market. We don’t just leave our clients figuring out what to do. We show them what has worked (and what hasn’t) for thousands of other organizations.
3. 24/6 rapid response tech support. When you run a 36-hour campaign, every moment counts. And, let’s face it, things happen. Maybe a donor accidentally donated twice, and they want a refund ASAP, and it’s 1am. Or you need to immediately update your campaign graphics since you reached a bonus round (congrats!). Our ridiculously fast 24-hour tech support is
the #1 thing clients mention in their satisfaction surveys.
BJH: Has CauseMatch run many campaigns in Baltimore?
JS: Yes! We love our Baltimore clients. Yeshivas, schools, shuls, chesed organizations… the list goes on and on. I’m sure, dear reader, you’ve donated to a CauseMatch campaign before. Or maybe you were even an ambassador!
BJH: Tell us more about your job specifically. What does the Director of Partnerships do?
JS: Since I joined the CauseMatch team in early 2021, I’ve been building a network of nonprofit pros who partner with us in supporting their clients. From fundraising experts to marketing firms (shout out to our favorite Baltimore-based marketing partner, AMF Creative!), we’ve created an amazing ecosystem of professionals who truly partner with us in running stellar crowdfunding campaigns. It’s like a wedding, when the band and caterer work really, really well together. We make sure that our partners stay up to date with the latest features and strategies, and they learn from each other by sharing best practices. It’s pretty awesome.
BJH: What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned?
JS: The power of data in fundraising. A good campaign is structured. The organizers know exactly how many active ambassadors they have, how many people each ambassador should reach, and what the average gift size needs to be in order to hit each personal goal and the campaign goal. When you empower campaign organizers with that sort of data and the tools to
motivate their ambassadors, their ambassadors respond, and the campaign can hit it out of the park.
BJH: What’s one practice you hate to see in a crowdfunding campaign?
JS: When an organization lies to its donors. Campaigns need to be real. I can’t stand seeing gimmicks and tricks in crowdfunding campaigns. A well-run campaign is real fundraising. If your campaign is short, then your donors need to know that. I’ve seen capital campaigns with fake donations (not on CauseMatch!), and, guess what, the organization didn’t have the necessary funds to build the building, yet their community thought that they did!
BJH: Sounds like a lot riding on one campaign, right?
JS: Peer-to-peer fundraising is not a one-time thing that you do. It should be part of a year-round fundraising strategy. When you work with an experienced fundraising professional, they help you look beyond the campaign and say, “Now that you’ve gathered donor data, what’s the plan for cultivating those donors? How are you thanking them, updating them, and preparing to ask them again in six months from now or a year?” The campaign is a critical piece of a larger fundraising strategy.
BJH: How can an organization learn more about crowdfunding with CauseMatch?
JS: I’m always happy to have an exploratory call to demo our platform and discuss if a CauseMatch campaign is the right fit for an organization. Reach out to me at jeremy@causematch.com or find me on LinkedIn and let’s connect!
The Week In News
The Week In News
Sri Lanka’s New President
Anura Kumara Dissanayake, a 55-year-old Marxist-leaning politician, won the Sri Lankan presidential election on Sunday, as the country continues to reel from an economic crisis that it is only beginning to recover from. Unlike his opponents in the race, incumbent
President Ranil Wickremesinghe and opposition leader Sajith Premadasa, the victor is the first in his family to hold office.
“We believe that we can turn this country around, we can build a stable government … and move forward. For me, this is not a position; it is a responsibility,” Dissanayake said after his victory.
Wickremesinghe was eliminated in the first round of voting, as he secured just 17% of the vote. Dissanayake won 42.3% of the vote, while Premadasa won 32.8%. This is the first time that Sri Lanka has held an election where no candidate was able to secure the required 50% of votes after the first round, thus necessitating a second tally. Using a preferential voting system, voters ranked their picks.
According to the election commission, voter turnout was high, with around 75% of eligible voters participating in the election.
“Mr. President, here I handover to you with much love, the dear child called Sri Lanka, whom we both love very dearly,” said Wickremesinghe in his concession statement.
Sri Lanka’s last election was held in
2022, after Gotabaya Rajapaksa, who was president at the time, ran away and resigned amid protests against the terrible economy, which was caused by a significant foreign exchange shortage.
Dissanayake has vowed to dissolve parliament within the first forty-five days of his time in office.
“The election result clearly shows the uprising that we witnessed in 2022 is not over,” said University of Colombo political scientist Pradeep Peiris. “People have voted in line with those aspirations to have different political practices and political institutions. AKD [as Dissanayake is popularly known] reflects these aspirations and people have rallied around him.”
The country’s weak economic recovery was facilitated by a $2.9 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), which is supposed to help Sri Lanka get on track with managing inflation and the high cost of living, paying off debt, and growing the economy. Some of Dissanayake’s past promises, such as cutting taxes, have concerned investors who believe such measures would interfere with the IMF
program, although the president-elect, while campaigning, sang a different tune, claiming that he wouldn’t go against the IMF.
Ayatollah Pardons
Nearly 3,000
In honor of the anniversary of the birth of Mohammed, who is considered by Islam to have been a prophet, and upon the recommendation of Iranian Chief Justice Gholamhossein Mohseni Ejeh, around 1,290 prisoners were pardoned and another 1,596 others saw their sentences commuted by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran. The pardons were announced on Friday by IRNA, a state-run news agency.
Among those released from prison were forty or more foreigners and thirtynine individuals who were convicted of crimes against the state of Iran. Fifty-nine individuals saw their death sentences dropped and commuted to imprisonment, the report added.
Greater Washington Weekday Minyanim Guide
6:15 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M-F
6:25 am Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
6:30 am Beth Sholom Congregation M-F
Beit Halevi (Sfardi) M, T
Chabad of Silver Spring M-F
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S YGW M, Th
6:35 am Ohr Hatorah M, Th
6:40 am YGW S, T, W, F
Magen David Sephardic Congregation M-Th
6:45 am Beit Halevi (Sfardi) S, T, W, F
Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th
Ohr Hatorah T, W, F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah M, Th
6:50 am Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah M, Th Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County M-F
6:55 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah T, W, F
7:00 am Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S Silver Spring Jewish Center S
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah T, W, F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac T,W,F
7:05 am Kesher Israel M, Th
7:15 am Kemp Mill Synagogue M, Th Kesher Israel T, W, F
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue M-F
Ohr Hatorah S
7:30 am Chabad of DC M-F
Chabad of Potomac M-F JROC M-F
Kemp Mill Synagogue T, W, F
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua M-F
Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) M-F
7:45 am YGW (Yeshiva Session Only) S-F
8:00 am Beth Sholom Congregation S
Kemp Mill Synagogue S
Kesher Israel S
Ohev Shalom Talmud Torah OLNEY S
Southeast Hebrew Cong., Knesset Yehoshua S
8:00 am Chabad of Upper Montgomery County S
Woodside Synagogue/Ahavas Torah S YGW (High School; School-Contingent) S-F
Young Israel Ezras Israel of Potomac S Young Israel Shomrai Emunah (Sfardi) S
8:15 am Ohr Hatorah S Kehilat Pardes / Berman Hebrew Academy S-F
Silver Spring Jewish Center M-F
8:30 am Chabad of DC S Chabad of Potomac S JROC S Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue S
Silver Spring Jewish Center S YGW (Summer Only) S-F
8:45 am Young Israel Shomrai Emunah S-F
9:00 am Chabad of Silver Spring S Kemp Mill Synagogue S
mincha/maariv Before Shkiah, S-TH
Beit Halevi (Sfardi)
Beth Sholom Congregation
Chabad of Potomac
Chabad of Silver Spring
Chabad of Upper Montgomery County
JROC
Kemp Mill Synagogue
Kesher Israel
Magen David Sephardic Congregation
Ohev Sholom Talmud Torah/The National Synagogue Ohr Hatorah
Faezeh Hashemi’s five-year prison sentence came to an immediate end after the pardon. Hashemi, a politician who is the daughter of former president Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, was imprisoned in September 2022 for participating in protests over the death of Mahsa Amini, a woman who died after being detained by Iran’s morality police for supposedly not wearing her hijab correctly.
Over 8,000 foreign nationals were imprisoned in Iran as of June, around 6,620 of whom were from Afghanistan, according to Iranian authorities. Many of the foreigners were also from India, Pakistan, Azerbaijan, Turkey, and Iraq.
At one point in 2023, the supreme leader pardoned around 82,656 prisoners, according to Ejehi, around 22,000 of whom were detained after participating in protests. Ejehi added that Khamenei did not pardon thieves or violent criminals.
700 Inmates Released in Congo
More than 700 inmates were released from the largest prison in Congo, the country’s authorities said Saturday, as officials sought to ease overcrowding in a facility where at least 129 people died in an attempted jailbreak this month.
Congo’s justice minister, Constant Mutamba, announced their release during a visit to the Makala Central Prison, where the deadly episode highlighted the alarming conditions faced by inmates in the only prison in Kinshasa, Congo’s capital and one of Africa’s most populous cities.
Mutamba promised that Kinshasa would get a new prison, though he did not give details.
Of the 729 inmates released, most — 648 — were released on bail.
On the evening of September 2, inmates, whose cells had been without water and electricity for more than a day and a half, tried to break out to escape the stifling heat, several
inmates told The New York Times.
The details remain unclear, but most of the deaths occurred in a stampede that followed, while at least 24 people were fatally shot while trying to escape, the country’s authorities have said. Several female prisoners were assaulted, according to Human Rights Watch and Congo’s interior minister.
The Makala Prison, which was built in 1957 during the era of Belgian colonial rule and little renovated since, has a capacity of 1,500 but has at times held 10 times more than that.
The prison’s director, Joseph Yusufu Maliki, has been suspended, and dozens of inmates accused of assaulting female inmates during the jailbreak soon face trial.
Human rights organizations and journalists have long described conditions in Makala and other prisons in the Central African country as inhumane: overcrowded, violent and filthy.
Last year, more than 500 inmates died from suffocation and various diseases at the prison, according to Emmanuel Adu Cole, a human-rights activist based in Kinshasa. Cole said that out of about 15,000 inmates, only 2,500 had been convicted; the rest were awaiting trial.
“Most of the inmates have no reason to be held in such inhumane conditions,” Cole said in a telephone interview. “This cannot continue.”
At least 49 people died this week in an explosion at a coal mine in east Iran.
A methane gas leak on Saturday sparked an explosion at the mine in Tabas. Around 70 people had been working in the mine at the time. Some bodies found show no sign of trauma, suggesting that those people died from gas inhalation prior to the blast.
Such gases are common in mining, though modern safety measures call for ventilation and other measures to protect workers.
On Tuesday, a lawmaker and member of parliament’s mine committee said the safety system of the mine was
The Week In News
not working and “even the central alarm system was broken or did not exist.” Lawmaker Zahra Saeedi added that workers learned of the safety issue just before the disaster but couldn’t leave in time. Two of the dead were health and safety experts at the mine, she said. It wasn’t immediately clear what safety procedures were in place at the privately owned Tabas Parvadeh 5 mine, operated by Mandanjoo Co.
Iran’s mining industry has been struck by disasters before. In 2017, a coal mine explosion killed at least 42 people. Then-President Hassan Rouhani, campaigning ahead of winning reelection, visited the site in Iran’s northern Golestan province, and angry miners surrounded the SUV he rode in, kicking and beating the armored vehicle in a rage
In 2013, 11 workers were killed in two separate mining incidents. In 2009, 20 workers were killed in several incidents. Lax safety standards and inadequate emergency services in mining areas are often blamed for the fatalities.
Hezbollah’s Arsenal of Weapons
It started with beepers, then walkie talkie, and then airstrikes. For the past week, Israel has put Hezbollah on the offensive, taking out large swaths of its army and weapons systems. But according to the Wall Street Journal, Hezbollah is well-stocked when it comes to the weapons it has in its arsenal.
The terror group has kept in reserve a massive arsenal of rockets, drones and antitank missiles that it can deploy to counter Israeli advances, the Journal says. One of those weapons is an Iranian-made guided antitank missile called Almas—the
Persian word for diamond—which gives Hezbollah a much higher degree of precision in its strikes than it had when it last fought a war with Israel in 2006.
Israel wants to avoid a ground war with Hezbollah, as the war they fought years ago ended in a stalemate.
“It’s a little like saying to the United States in 1980, ‘Let’s go back into Vietnam,’” said Daniel Byman, a senior fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington and former U.S. government official, who co-wrote a recent study of Hezbollah’s arsenal.
The risk of full-scale war escalated further on Monday, after Israel intensified its airstrikes across Lebanon including in the capital Beirut, killing almost 500 people and wounding more than 1,600 others in the deadliest single day in Lebanon since the Gaza war began last year. Hezbollah also launched missiles into Israel.
Israel has said it wants to push Hezbollah back from the border and
degrade its military capabilities so that the more than 60,000 people who have had to evacuate their homes in northern Israel because of Hezbollah missile strikes over the past 11 months can return home.
Over the past few months, Hezbollah has been preparing for war. It has expanded its tunnel system and repositioned its fighters and weapons. Iran, which supports the terror group, has increased its shipments of small arms, rocket-propelled grenades, and guided and unguided long-range missiles. It is said that before October 7, Hezbollah had a stockpile of 150,000 rockets and missiles.
“The south is like a beehive right now,” said a former Hezbollah military officer. “Everything the Iranians have, we have.”
Still, Israel’s military has far more advanced weaponry, including F-35 jet fighters and multilayered air defenses. Israel’s air superiority would allow it to unleash devastating airstrikes and cripple Lebanon’s civilian infrastructure, as it did in 2006.
But Hezbollah doesn’t need to win the war with its technological advances. Instead, it would hope to keep Israel stuck in a war of attrition, much like Hamas is doing in Gaza.
IDF Kills Top Hezbollah Commander
In an IDF strike on Beirut last Friday, several top Hezbollah commanders were killed, including the terror’s group head of military operations Ibrahim Aqil, who was also the militant group’s acting commander of the Radwan Force and who had been promoted to the most senior military member of the terrorist organization’s top military entity, the Jihad Council, following Hezbollah leader Fuad Shukr’s assassination in July. Most notably, Aqil was, according to the Israeli military, actively planning an invasion into northern Israel, which would have been a similar attack to Hamas’ October 7 massacre in southern Israel.
Of Aqil’s death, Hezbollah said that “one of its great leaders” had been killed “on the road to Jerusalem,” a phrase that means he was eliminated by Israel. The terror group added that Aqil, a “great jihadist leader,” has now “joined the procession of his brothers, the great martyr leaders, after a blessed life full of jihad, work, wounds, sacrifices, dangers, challenges, achievements, and victories.”
Due to his involvement in the 1983 bombings of Lebanon’s American Embassy and U.S. Marines barracks in the country’s capital, Aqil was also wanted by the United States, who placed a $7 million bounty on the commander.
On Friday night, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “Our goals are clear, and our actions speak for themselves.” Following and preceding Israel’s strike, around two hundred rockets were launched by Hezbollah at the northern Galilee and the Golan Heights, although the terror group’s strikes reportedly caused no deaths.
According to an Israeli official quoted by Axios, around twenty commanders from the Radwan Force were eliminated in the same strike.
“They gathered underground, under a residential building, in the heart of the Dahiyeh, while using civilians as a human shield. They met to coordinate terror activities against Israeli civilians,” said IDF Spokesman Rear. Adm. Daniel Hagari. “Aqil and the Radwan Force commanders who we attacked are the commanders who drew up and led the Hezbollah terror group’s plan, to be carried out on the day the order was given, to attack into the northern territory of the State of Israel — what they called ‘the plan to conquer the Galilee.’”
Hagari added, “Hezbollah intended to raid Israeli territory, occupy the communities of the Galilee, and murder and kidnap Israeli citizens — similar to what Hamas did on October 7.”
Lebanon’s health ministry said that the Israeli strike, which struck down an apartment in south Beirut, caused fourteen fatalities and sixty-six injuries. Hassan Nasrallah, the leader of Hezbollah, said the terrorist organization would take revenge for Israel’s attacks.
“The Hezbollah commanders we eliminated today had been planning an ‘October 7’ on the northern border for years. We reached them and we will reach anyone who threatens the security of the citizens of the State of Israel,” said IDF Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Herzi Halevi.
“The sequence of operations in the new phase [of the war] will continue until our goal is achieved: The safe return of the residents of the north to their homes,” added Yoav Gallant, Israel’s defense minister. “Even in the Dahiyeh in Beirut, we will continue to pursue our enemy in order to protect our citizens.”
The strike came shortly after a major attack reportedly orchestrated by Israel, wherein Hezbollah’s pagers blew up, killing at least thirty-seven terrorists and injuring thousands. In July, Shukr was killed in another strike on Beirut. And in January, Saleh al-Arouri, the deputy leader of Hamas, was also eliminated in Beirut.
The U.S. was not informed of the strike before it happened, as far as White House spokesman John Kirby was aware. Joe Biden, the president of the United States, said his goal is to “make sure that the people in northern Israel as well as southern Lebanon are able to go back to their homes, to go back safely.”
Due to the constant threat of a major Hezbollah attack, thousands of Israelis living near the northern border were forced to evacuate. The terror group has been attacking Israel since October 8 and has vowed to continue until the fighting ends in Gaza.
The Week In News
Hamas Lies on Deals
According to a Channel 12 report released last Wednesday, the November hostage release agreement ended eight days into the deal because Hamas lied and said that the female abductees who were supposed to be released had passed away, proposing to instead release three live hostages – two men and one woman – and seven bodies. However, Israel was absolutely sure that those female hostages who Hamas said were dead were actually alive. The Jewish state believed that if it accepted the proposal, Hamas would instantly murder the abductees that the terror group said were dead.
Though the report concluded that the November ceasefire’s end was not the fault of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu but rather the fault of Hamas, the same report purported that Netanyahu has been working to repeatedly “torpedo” more hostage
release agreements since December for political purposes.
Noa Argamani, who was rescued in June as part of an IDF operation that saved four living hostages, was one of the seven abductees whom Hamas falsely said had passed away.
“In the hours before [that day’s scheduled set of releases], Hamas announced via the mediators that the women who were supposed to be freed were dead,” said a senior Israeli security official, as quoted by Channel 12. “But we knew for certain that they were alive. Hamas said that Noa Argamani was dead, but not only her, and that others could not be located. And that was despite the fact that we had agreed in advance on the whole list of names [of living hostages to be freed].
“If we played their game, we made clear to the political echelon, Hamas would murder the women. A minute later, they’d shoot them in the head. If we’d allowed them to play us, we’d never have seen those women again,” said the official.
Instead of releasing the seven hostages, Hamas suggested that it would free Mia Shem, who came home on November 30, the day before the agreement ended; Romni Gonen, who remains in captivity; and Carmel Gat, who was murdered by Hamas last month along with five other hostages, including Hersh Goldberg-Polin.
“Coalition threats” from Itamar Ben Gvir and Bezalel Smotrich, two far-right ministers, also played a role in the ceasefire’s end, according to an anonymous minister.
National Unity MK Gadi Eisenkot, in an interview in August, also said that some elderly male hostages could have been released if Israel continued the agreement despite Hamas going against the deal.
According to the report, Netanyahu supposedly rejected an Egyptian
proposal on December 24 and barred Defense Minister Yoav Gallant and Mossad chief David Barnea from meeting the following day. Other potential deals were reportedly struck down in March, May, and June.
In response to the Channel 12 report, the Prime Minister’s Office said the report “echo[s] the propaganda of the terrorist organization Hamas” and promotes “false claims.” Netanyahu’s office noted that all U.S. proposals were accepted by Netanyahu, thus refuting “the claim that he sabotaged any deal for political reasons.” The office added that a proposal sent by Netanyahu on April 27 was called “very generous” by Antony Blinken, the U.S. Secretary of State, and that the premier accepted Biden’s May 31 proposal and the U.S.’s “final bridging proposal” on August 16. All those deals were rejected, not by Netanyahu, but by Hamas.
“Those who want to help in the effort to free our hostages should put pressure on the murderer [Hamas leader Yahya] Sinwar and not on the prime minister of Israel,” added the premier’s office.
An Israeli Spy for Iran?
Moti Maman, a 73-year old-Israeli Jew from Ashkelon, was charged on Thursday with conspiring to advance Iranian assassination plots against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Defense Minister Yoav Gallant, and Shin Bet director Ronen Bar.
According to the investigation, Maman, a businessman who previously resided in Turkey, was smuggled into Iran twice. In April, he met Eddy, a wealthy businessman who resides in Iran, at a business meeting organized by two Turkish individuals, Andrey Farouk Aslan and Junayd Aslan. Maman went to Samandag, a city in Turkey near Syria, met with two of Eddy’s representatives, and spoke to the Iranian businessman on the phone since Eddy wasn’t able to leave Iran at the time.
In May, Maman met with Andrey, Junayd, and the two representatives, again in Turkey. And because Eddy still couldn’t leave Iran and make it to Turkey, Mamam was smuggled into Iran through a land crossing near Van, according to the Shin Bet.
While in Iran, Maman, openly identifying himself as an Israeli citizen, had a meeting with Eddy and Iranian security official Khwaja, during which the Iranian businessman proposed that Maman conduct a number of missions against Israel on behalf of Tehran, such as planting money or handguns at particular places, taking pictures of public places, and intimidating other Israeli operatives for Iran who weren’t following through with their orders. Maman responded that he would consider it, left for Turkey, and then returned to Israel.
In August, Maman came back to Iran, once again smuggled in a truck that was driving through a Turkish land crossing. During that visit, he allegedly went to Eddy’s residence, where he met with Iranian intelligence officials, who requested that he “advance assassination attacks” on the prime minister, defense minister, the head of the Shin Bet, or other important individuals, such
as Naftali Bennett, a former prime minister. According to the Shin Bet, the assassination plots were orchestrated in an attempt to avenge the death of Ismail Haniyeh, the political leader of Hamas who was killed by Israel in July on Iranian soil.
During the meeting, Maman requested that he be paid $1 million upfront. The next day, he made the same request but was rejected by Iranian intelligence officials. Before leaving Iran, an Iranian intelligence official gave Maman 5,000 euros for taking part in the meetings, and the agents said they would reach out to him later. When Maman reached Israel, Israeli authorities detained him.
According to Channel 12, Maman told investigators upon being arrested, “It’s good that you arrested me, I don’t know where it could have gone.” The man reportedly did not deny wrongdoing, and his attorneys attributed his participation in the meetings as “an error of judgment” and noted that he has “cooperated, and continues to cooperate fully with the authorities.”
“We have not yet seen the investigative materials, so at this stage, it is difficult to go into the details of the case,” said Eyal Besserglick, the suspect’s lawyer. “It can already be said that this is a person who has greatly assisted the security services of the State of Israel, whose children serve in the security forces, and who made an error of judgment in the context of his business.”
“At a time when the State of Israel is at war on several fronts, an Israeli citizen goes to an enemy country on two different occasions, meets with Iranian intelligence agents, and expresses a willingness to carry out serious terrorist acts on Israeli soil. His actions helped Iran and its intelligence agents in their campaign against Israel,” said a senior Shin Bet official, calling the situation a “very serious affair, which is an example of the great efforts of the Iranian intelligence agencies to recruit Israeli citizens to advance terror activities in Israel.”
“The Shin Bet views with severity any contact by Israelis with Iranian elements. While the motive for the contact in the first place is a business pretext or criminal, it does not diminish the severity of the acts,” the agency said, adding that Maman committed “a serious security offense, even [though] the motive for the contact [with Iranian officials was] criminal or business-related.”
Iran has, on several occasions, attempted to recruit Israelis to spy or commit crimes on behalf of Tehran.
The Week In News
count Alissa is facing and pointing to the actions that prosecutors say prove beyond a reasonable doubt he acted “after deliberation, and with intent.”
Life Without Parole
On March 22, 2021, Ahmad Al Aliwi Alissa massacred ten people shopping at King Soopers grocery store in Boulder, Colorado. This week, the murderer was sentenced to life without parole after a jury rejected his insanity claim and found him guilty of first-degree murder.
In addition to the 10 counts of murder, Alissa, 25, was convicted of 45 other felony counts, including attempted murder, assault and using a prohibited large-capacity magazine during the commission of a crime.
Alissa was sentenced to 10 consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole – one for each victim – as well as an additional 1,334 years in state prison.
“Justice has finally been done,” said Boulder District Attorney Michael Dougherty after the sentencing.
Speaking ahead of the sentencing Monday afternoon, Nikolina Stanisic, whose 23-year-old brother, Neven, was killed in the shooting, described her sibling as “a caring, kind and selfless person.”
He was their parents’ “first joy, their first happiness, and their first sadness and heartbreak,” she said.
“Our life without Neven is not a complete whole life,” she went on. “There’s someone who is always missing.”
Jurors heard 10 days of testimony, during which the prosecution argued that despite being diagnosed with schizophrenia after the shooting, Alissa was legally sane when he carried out the attack. He was found incompetent to stand trial in 2021; he was deemed competent in 2023 after undergoing treatment in a state hospital.
“The evidence in this case is straightforward. What happened on March 22 of 2021 is not a mystery; it was on video,” Assistant District Attorney Ken Kupfner said in his closing argument, before ticking through every felony
Alissa is “not somebody who is insane.… Somebody who thinks a mass shooting is fun, they’re sick. We agree he’s mentally ill. He has schizophrenia, but he’s not insane,” Kupfner said.
Many of the victims’ family members appeared in court and became emotional and tearful as the verdict was read. Ahead of Alissa’s sentencing, several family members shared wrenching tributes to their loved ones and described the pain they have suffered since the shooting.
CA Limits Smartphones in Schools
This week, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law a bill that requires schools to limit or ban the use of smartphones. The law came about amid a growing consensus that excess smartphone usage can increase the risk of mental illness and impair learning.
California is not the first state to tackle the smartphone issue. Thirteen other states this year have banned or restricted cellphones in school or recommended local educators do so, after Florida led the way by banning phones in class in 2023.
California, with nearly 5.9 million public school students, has followed the lead of Los Angeles County, whose school board banned smartphones for its 429,000 students in June.
That same month, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called for a warning label on social media platforms, akin to those on cigarette packages, likening the problem to a mental health emergency.
Murthy cited a study in the medical journal JAMA showing adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media may be at heightened risk for mental illness. He also noted that a Gallup poll showed that the average teen spends 4.8 hours per day on social media.
Wrapping up the year with RAJE
By BJH Staff
RAJE Maryland ends off the year with a bang. In response to all the challenges facing the Jewish people this past year, thousands of Jews around the world have taken steps to come closer to Hashem. Among them, RAJE staff have helped close to a dozen Jews acquire tefillin since Oct 7th! “Jews all over the world have felt the need to strengthen their Jewish identity in the wake of so much evil,” RAJE Maryland, Rabbi Gavriel Horan said. “But other than posting pro-Israel content on social media, or wearing a Chai necklace, many people don’t know what to do with their pain, pride, and/or existential confusion. Kiruv organizations like RAJE are there to show people how to find positive ways to express their Judaism and connect to the Jewish people and Hashem.” Tefillin has been a major source of connection for many students. With so many RAJE students donning tefillin, they now have a chat where they post daily tefillin selfies to inspire and mechazek each other.
Dan, age 31, a long time RAJE student, woke up on Oct 8th to find people who he thought were his friends, celebrating the death of Jews and posting all sorts of anti-Semitic memes. “I lost some of my closest friends in a matter of hours just because I’m Jewish,” he recalled. “In response I decided to become a prouder Jew - to be unapologetically Jewish. My great grandfather used to put on tefillin in secret in the Soviet Union. I was on a bus thinking it might be time to get a pair and then some random guy walked up to me and asked if I wrapped today.” Rabbi Horan got him a pair through Dr. Daniel Gordon’s Laiv Yehuda Foundation. “I’ve been wrapping ever since. It’s a way to connect and bind myself to my people.”
Jesse, age 27, was a pre-Med student in College Park, when he noticed some unusual medical symptoms. He went for a blood test and was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. After undergoing a year of intensive chemotherapy he got connected to RAJE. “RAJE came into my life during some of my darkest days,” he said. “RAJE provided me with an outlet to express my Judaism and
grow myself spiritually. When I got my final test showing that the cancer was gone, I decided to thank Hashem by going on a RAJE trip to Israel!” “Although I turned to religion because of this illness, I want to thank Hashem even when things are going well!” Jesse recently decided to start putting on tefillin and RAJE also assisted him with getting a pair.
Jacob, age 25, decided to get tefillin after several years of involvement with RAJE. Shortly afterwards, his grandfather passed away. After shiva, Rabbi Horan asked if Jacob’s father would also like a pair and he agreed. “Due to the incredible people at RAJE, I was able to reconnect with my Judaism, develop a strong foundation in my faith, and ultimately led both my father and myself to make the important decision to wear tefillin daily!”
The Jewish people are wrapped up in mitzvos! In the zechus of all these mitzvos may we all be blessed to see a year of yeshuous for all of klal Yisrael!
The “RAJE is Wrapping” 2X matching campaign is starting on Tzom Gedalia - Oct 6-8 - at www. rajemaryland.com. Help RAJE continue their important work connecting Russian Jews to their heritage!
Wrapping on the bus on the RAJE Poland/Prague trip
Tefillin in the barracks in Auschwitz
Jacob and his Father who both got tefillin this past year
Students on a RAJE Israel trip
Torah Thought How Sweet It Is!
By Rabbi Zvi Teichman
םיבצנ םתא — You are standing,םויה — today, all of you, before Hashem, your God. (ט טכ םירבד)
The Torah here is describing how Moshe on his last day on earth, reiterated their responsibility toward one another and their accountability before G-d.
It also echoes the yearly reckoning where we too stand before G-d, presenting ourselves before judgment.
Providentially, the portion of Nitzavim is always read on the Shabbos immediately prior to Rosh HaShanah.
The Zohar notes that indeed the emphasis of םויה — today, alludes to ‘the’ day of Rosh HaShanah, when we all pass individually before God.
Moshe forewarns them from straying ‘lest there is among you שרש הרפ — a root flourishing, הנעלו שאר — with gall and wormwood’. (זי טכ םש)
The danger to future generations’ success already lies at the root of the ancestors’ attitudes.
If there are poisonous sentiments present in the ‘root’, it will inevitably manifest itself in the ‘fruit’ — the descendants.
The Ramban assures us however, that: "רמ אצי אל קותמ שרשמ" — from a sweet root no bitterness can develop!
The Ramban writes that there appears to be a contradiction to this notion from an episode outlined in the Book of Yechezkel.
G-d affirms the truth that only the person who commits a sin will be punished, never do the children suffer for their parents’ crimes.
The prophet presents an elaborate parable of a father, son and grandson
to illustrate this point.
But if a man be קידצ — ‘just’ and do that which is lawful and right and has not eaten upon the mountains, neither has lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, neither has defiled his neighbor’s wife, neither has come near to a woman in her impurity, he is just, he shall surely live.
If he begets a son that is a ץירפ ןב — a robber, םד ךפש shedder of blood, and that does to a brother any of these things — whereas he himself had not done any of these [positive] things — for he has even eaten upon the mountains, and defiled his neighbor’s wife, shall he then live? He shall not live, he has done all these abominations; he shall surely be put to death, his blood shall be upon him.
Now, lo, if he beget a son, that sees all his father’s sins, which he has done, and considers, and does not such like, that has not eaten upon the mountains, neither has lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, has not defiled his neighbor’s wife, he shall not die for the iniquity of his father, he shall surely live. (חי קרפ לאקזחי)
Three generations are depicted, each one worthy or guilty, judged and punished solely for their own behavior.
How is it possible, the Ramban questions, that the grandfather in the tale who is entitled ‘just’, begets a ץירפ ןב, a treacherous son?
Doesn’t the Torah assert, as the Ramban notes, that ‘from a sweet root no bitterness can develop’?
The Ramban leaves the question hanging without revealing an answer.
The Midrash elucidates that the sins enumerated in these verses aren’t necessarily to be taken literally. (חנש
The ‘idol worship’ refers to walking with arrogance — which is equated with idolatry.
The ‘defiled wife’ alludes to encroaching on someone’s livelihood.
The ‘coming near to a woman in impurity’ implies deriving personal benefit from communal charity funds.
If indeed the sins detailed by the prophet are not referring to literal capital crimes, and only to the sins of bad character, why then would the verse condemn the ץירפ ןב — the ‘robber’ son, to death?
Perhaps I may boldly suggest the following to answer the Ramban’s dilemma.
The grandfather was indeed ‘just’, adhering to the letter of the law, never worshiping idols nor committing acts of immorality. But that was all he did. He didn’t take the laws to their ultimate and noblest expression, to refrain from arrogance and be sensitive in not encroaching on others.
When one only refrains from the literal sins as proscribed but never elevates his level of observance to these lofty principles, one is missing the boat.
One who merely maintains from year to year the strict letter of the law without striving to attain the deeper more subtle intentions within G-d’s commands cannot be deemed a ‘sweet root’.
It was therefore no wonder that the ‘just’ grandfather’s son observing a ‘dry’ and lifeless ‘root’, devoid of any enthusiasm or yearning for closeness to G-d, was left unimpressed, with no meaningful impact impressed upon him. In a vacuum void of inspiration, the poor son lapsed into a dispassionate relationship with G-d and all its disastrous consequences.
The grandson observing his seemingly dutiful observant grandfather and disengaged father was perplexed
by the Ramban’s quandary.
How could his father stray so far if he came from a seemingly healthy root, haven’t we been taught that ‘from a sweet root no bitterness can develop’ ?
This wise grandson quickly realizes that for our actions to be sweet it requires much more than perfunctory observance. One must grow in one’s perception and depth of commitment, extending the basic laws to their fullest intentions.
With his newfound insight he begins the process of implementing the deeper objectives within the commandments — as outlined in the Midrash — sweetening them and infusing the root with a power that will guarantee many future generations of healthy fruit.
Each year we stand before God and undergo an evaluation.
Are we exactly where we were last year?
Have we striven to elevate our performance beyond the letter of the law?
Have we sweetened our actions by enthusing our understanding of the mitzvos?
Do our actions bespeak inner expressions of sweet yearnings?
Have you ever wondered why we wish one another specifically a הקותמ ו הבוט הנש — a year of good and ‘sweetness’?
It is insufficient to merely be good, we must be sweet. The root that is sweet is assured that it will bring the fruit that will excite, enthuse, and sustain our legacy.
May we tread a path to not only being good but also sweet, for only if we are sweet will we merit brilliant generations of success!
We wish each other to merit to taste that sweetness within our relationship with Hashem and His Torah that is waiting to be discovered!
You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com
The walk from the bus stop to the local supermarket takes no more than a minute. As I was crossing the road and walking up the steep, asphalted parking lot, I saw an old man lying on the ground, his shopping wagon’s contents scattered around him as if they were looking for a home. I raced to his side, and in an attempt to help him up, suddenly found myself at face level with the road. My phone was resting alongside a cherry tomato and yellow pepper. For a moment I couldn’t figure out why the road was so hot on my right cheek. Next, I was looking at a pair of sandals. They belonged to a young man who had run to our assistance. He helped the old man up, while I slowly scrambled to my feet.
He had places to get to, but before leaving us, he mentioned how happy he was to have helped two pensioners. This occurred the same day I received my senior citizen card in the mail. The retirement age is written into law. At 67, you are expected to leave the workforce. In many professions, this is unavoidable. In my profession, however, it’s not. Which beggars the question, why are we in a rush to retire?
I once questioned my doctor as to why he continued to work well into his 70s. He quickly disabused me of the notion that mandatory retirement was healthy.
“Who says it is?” he asked me. “It is good for a man to work. What difference does age have to do with it? If he has the capability, why should he stop?”
I pondered his attitude at the beginning of the current school year, a few months after I was expected to retire. Instead, I began the fortieth year of my professional career as a teacher. Whilst not working a full schedule, the three days a week I am in school are enjoyable, fulfilling, and, most importantly, they make me feel young.
Last week, I caught up with a few members from the English department in Horev, the yeshiva where we work. Have a look at the attached photo. If I thought it strange that I have decided to continue
Israel Today
281 Divided By 4
By Rafi Sackville
working, take Shmuel Gordon (on the left) and Yair Zin (to his left), who are respectively 73 and 81.
In an earlier conversation that day, I had shared with Shmuel my hesitation in coming back this year. His eyes lit up immediately. He, too, had had a similar experience. He described how those feelings evaporated as soon as he walked into his first class. He felt infused with the en-
head of our department, who taught alongside me at the same yeshiva when I was there in the early 1990s. He is the “baby” in the photo, clocking-in in his early sixties. He, too, is energized by his work.
Throughout my career I taught 10th to 12th grades exclusively. When I returned to Horev, the only classes available were 7th and 8th grades. I’ve been genuinely surprised just how happy I am
I raced to his side, and in an attempt to help him up, suddenly found myself at face level with the road.
ergy of his youth. Our experiences were identical. I walked out of school on the first day walking on cloud 9, or whatever number it is.
Yair’s response was similar. He continues to work two part-time jobs. His unbridled enthusiasm in the classroom manifests itself in his ebullient nature and genuinely huge smile. He put it to me very simply when he said, “I love the kids and teaching.”
To my right is Geoffrey Marcus, the
to be surrounded by 12-14-year-olds and my ability to infuse them with positive learning habits.
There has been a shift in the last few years for young people steering clear of teaching as a viable profession. The results have become clear with the country suffering a dearth of teachers. In many instances, those gaps have been filled with people who are not prepared to deal with large classes. I can understand them.
Doctors don’t have to see more than
one patient at a time; teachers do. The range of issues they have to cope with is staggering: noise, classroom control, preparation, grading, the teaching itself. It doesn’t take much for the unskilled to lose control of 30 students, not to mention having to deal with kids with learning difficulties or those who refuse to medicate when they should. Then there is life outside the classroom when social media is the avenue parents avail themselves to (in some instances) badger and even harass teachers. It’s a balancing act that comes with experience.
When I consider the 281 years that are the sum of the lives of Shmuel, Ya’ir, Geoffrey and myself (ad me’ah v’esrim for each of us) and further consider the more than 160 years of classroom experience between us, I am left with a sense of gratitude that we chose such a fulfilling profession and that, for all of us, we have continued well into our senior years to continue to do so.
Which is why receiving my senior citizens card and being helped to my feet by a man forty years younger than me didn’t faze me. When I was asked by the principal what my goals were, I pointed to Ya’ir, our almost 81-year-old colleague. “I want to have a shot being as resilient, happy, and long lasting in class as he is,” I replied. I’ve listened to friends wax eloquently about their plans after retirement. Their lists are variants of the same theme: leisure, sports, travel. I’ve not heard any of them discuss happiness in their current lives or its source. Sometimes, but not exclusively, we have experienced happiness in our workplaces and yet are willing to forego its benefits. In the case of my colleagues and I, we have been blessed to have discovered the source for many things good in life. For us, it’s the classroom. Why would we give it up in the hope of searching for something we’ve already found?
Rafi Sackville, formerly from Cedarhurst, teaches in Yeshivat Horev in Yerushalayim.
Nitzavim discusses the eternal covenant with Hashem, the ingathering of exiles, closeness of the Torah, and our ability to choose good.
Vayelech discusses the appointment of Yehoshua, the mitzva of Hakhel, and more.
Quotable Quote “ ”
“Despair is never justified. Even if your life has been scarred by misfortune, lacerated by pain, and your chances of happiness seem gone forever, there is still hope. The next chapter of your life can be full of blessings.”
-Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt’l
GEMATRIA
There are 40 Mitzvos in Parshas Nitzavim, which always falls out by the High Holiday season. It has been pointed out that there are 40 days in the formation of a fetus. During these days, we have the ability to repent and become reborn!
Let’s master these 40 days of Teshuva!
Rabbi Ori Strum is the author of Ready. Set. Grow. (Mosaica Press).
His shiurim and other Jewish content can be found on Torah Anytime and Meaningful Minute. He also likes your feedback: rabbistrumo@gmail.com
TSorahparks
Parshas Nitzavim/Vayelech
Pesukim - 40/30
Words - 657/553
Letters - 2,575/2,123
Mitzvos - 0/2
Thoughts in
QUICK VORT Chassidus
It's interesting to perhaps draw a connection with the words in our Parshah, "Atem Nitzavim Hayom", and the passuk in Genesis 19:26, where the wife of Lot turned into a Netziv Melech - a pillar of salt.
As the city of Sedom was being destroyed, the Malach told her not to look back. She turned around to look, and she became a pillar of salt.
Rosh Hashana is a day of Atem Nitzavim Hayom - we are standing before Hashem.
Just like Eishes Lot wasn't supposed to look back, so too us, we are not supposed to look back and reflect on our past sins on Rosh Hashana.
Rosh Hashana is a day to be focused on today, to be present. Aveiros come from the word avar, which means past tense. Aveiros are in your past. Don't look behind you! Don't focus on your past mistakes. Focus on your present greatness. Have a holy Shabbos!
The Toldos Yaakov Yosef draws a connection between the words in Nitzavim ךבבלב ךיפב ותשעל - “in your mouth, in your heart, to do it” - with the idea that we are meant to serve Hashem with our machshava, dibur, and maaseh.
Let’s ensure our thoughts, speech, and action are up to par!
Points to
Ponder
The word Nitzavim connotes standing still, standing.
Vayelech connotes walking, movement, and going places.
Isn’t it interesting that these Parshios are read together?
How do these - seemingly opposing - themes of standing and walking play out in life?
One Year Later: Supporting Israel Since October 7
The October 7 terrorist attack on Israel that left thousands of Israelis dead and hundreds kidnapped, caused ongoing trauma and displacement for many Israeli citizens. Since that horrific day, The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore responded, addressing the humanitarian, mental health and economic needs of the people of Israel – including in Ashkelon, our partner city.
Just one day after the attack, on October 8, The Associated launched an Israel Emergency Campaign, mobilizing the community and raising millions of dollars to provide crucial services in the days and months that followed.
From the beginning, The Associated’s overseas partners, who were already on the ground, thanks in part to the Annual Campaign’s support, deployed emergency services to Israelis facing trauma, property destruction and loss of life. The Associated also reached out to its friends in Ashkelon, a city that remains under continuous rocket attack, to assess needs.
Baltimore’s connection to Ashkelon goes back more than two decades, when The Associated first established the Baltimore-Ashkelon Partnership. Over the past 21 years, the two communities
have built connections, developed long-lasting friendships and strengthened Baltimore’s ties to Israel.
“Baltimore’s partnership with Ashkelon is more meaningful than ever. Supporting our sisters and brothers in their time of need is an integral part of the Associated’s mission and resonates for our family on a personal level. In good times and during challenges we are there for our partner city in Israel. As we enter the New Year let us hope for better times locally and abroad,” says Atara Frankel, cochair, The Associated’s Israel and Global Initiatives. Here is how The Associated has helped:
Humanitarian Assistance
The Associated provided food, clothing, housing and medical support in the aftermath of the terrorist attack. In addition, The Associated made a grant to the Foundation for the Welfare of Holocaust Victims to provide food baskets to Holocaust survivors in need who are mainly living in the affected areas.
Through our grant to ZAKA, they were able to purchase shrapnel-proof helmets, vests and additional equipment to replenish medical supplies as well as chesed shel emet equipment for identifying and collecting body parts/remains of the deceased.
Join us for An Evening of Remembrance, Unity and Hope to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the attacks on Israel.
October 7, 7:00 p.m. Beth El Congregation Register at associated.org/october7
And we supported the Emergency Volunteer Project, bringing rehabilitation therapists and emergency personnel during this time of crisis.
Trauma and Mental Health
The events of the past year have left many Israelis experiencing trauma, and studies indicate more than half a million could experience severe mental health challenges in the future.
That’s why The Associated invested significantly in addressing mental health through programs like the Israel Trauma Coalition (ITC), which operates 12 resilience centers, including one in Ashkelon.
ITC provides mental health services and trains caregiver and responder emergency teams.
The Associated also provided funds to the Barzilai Medical Center in Ashkelon to enhance trauma care. Since the war began, Barzilai has treated thousands of soldiers and victims of the war.
Economic Assistance
In the weeks and months after October 7, many residents fled Ashkelon. As a result, small businesses suffered severe economic losses. Through the Small Business Loan Initiative, The Associated and its partner, the Jewish Agency for Israel, are offering loans to small businesses to help sustain them and ensure economic stability in the area.
Learn more at associated.org.
Forgotten Her es Heroes of the Marine Corps
By Avi Heiligman
The American Marine Corps is the maritime branch of the military that is responsible for amphibious operations. They also could be called upon to take missions that involve air or land assets. Throughout history they have participated in some of the toughest battles ever fought by American troops including Belleau Woods in World War I and Iwo Jima and Okinawa in World War II. There have been many legendary and historic marines that have made their way into Marine Corps lore. Here are some of their stories.
Many American servicemembers were born abroad and after moving to the U.S. felt a need to serve their new country. Louis Cukela was born in 1888 in the Austro-Hungarian Empire (today his birth town is in Croatia) and moved to the United States in 1913. His first stint in the military was with the army in 1914; he was honorably discharged two years later. A few months before the U.S. entered World War I in 1917, Cukela enlisted in the marines. He was assigned to the 66th Company, 1st Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment and soon was deployed to France. Cukela saw action at Belleau Woods and the Meuse-Argonne Offensive and earned many awards and medals including being twice decorated with the Medal of Honor. It is interesting to note that both of his Medal of Honors were for the same action, but one was from the army and the other was from the navy.
The extraordinary action for which Sergeant Cukela received two Medal of Honor citations occurred on July 18, 1918 near Villers-Cotterets, France. The 66th Company had come across an enemy strongpoint, and Cukela warned his men of the danger. Cukela then crawled under heavy gunfire towards a German machine gun and bayoneted the crew. He then picked up the grenades lying in the machine gun nest and tossed them into other parts of the German position. He captured four German soldiers and two more machine guns. Many other decorations were bestowed upon him. Cukela remained in the military throughout World War II serving almost 32 years on active duty.
Marine Corps Staff Sergeant Albert Ireland was awarded an incredible nine Purple Hearts for wounds while fighting the enemy. Hailing from the Hudson Valley region of New York, Ireland began his military career with the Royal Canadian Air Force in 1941. He had only a short stint with the northern American neighbors because a sinus condition prevented him from becoming a pilot. Ireland joined many other Americans in joining the U.S. military in the days after the Pearl Harbor attacks, and he soon became a machine gunner in the Marine Corps.
The marines were called upon to lead the amphibious invasion of Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands in August 1942. Ireland received his first Purple Heart for actions on the Pacific island when two
pieces of Japanese shrapnel hit him in his back and left lung. Despite his wounds and a bout with malaria, Ireland returned to the marines. On Okinawa, he was wounded four separate times on Sugar Loaf Hill while serving with the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines, 6th Marine Division. After earning five Purple Hearts for actions during World War II, Ireland returned to the U.S. with shrapnel in his lung and became a reservist in the marines.
The decorated marine volunteered for action during the Korean War and initially was denied to be sent to the front lines. It was against regulations to send a marine that had received more than two Purple Hearts into combat, but Ireland appealed to the commander of the Marine Corps and was allowed to join a combat unit. He became a squad leader with Company I, 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines. In September 1951, his unit was ambushed by the North Koreans, and he told the rest of his squad to find cover. Courageously, he crawled towards the enemy and tossed grenades and fired his rifle. This action killed several enemy soldiers and forced the rest to withdraw. Ireland received the Bronze Star for his exploits. He was wounded four more times while fighting in Korea before the marines shipped him home despite him wanting to stay in the combat zone. In total, Ireland was awarded two Bronze Star medals, nine Purple Hearts, and a host of other medals and citations for his incredible war record.
Snipers have been a part of marine history for over a century, with Chuck Mawhinney holding the marine record with 103 confirmed kills and over 200 probable kills. The Oregon native fought during the Vietnam War and only killed enemy combatants that were carrying a weapon. Often, he would stay up all night at his camp’s perimeter looking to see if any enemy soldiers would attempt a sneak attack. Once, near Da Nang, he saw a group of Vietnamese soldiers crossing a shallow river. Mawhinney calmly shot and killed sixteen of them before the rest ran away. He never had regrets about his record except the ones that got away as he viewed the kills as saving friends and fellow marines that would have been targeted if he didn’t eliminate the threat.
The sacrifices that many marines have made throughout their history are important for Americans to recognize and learn from their dedication to duty. Presented in this article are just three of the many stories of bravery and courage attributed to the men and women of the Marine Corps. Their contributions both on and off the battlefield have won wars and saved countless lives.
Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.
Chuck Mawhinney, deadliest sniper in Marine Corps history
Albert Ireland
Louis Cukela
Zmanim
courtesy of MyZmanim and are for the 21209
Havdalah Zmanim are at 40 minutes past Shkiah.
Baltimore Weekday Minyanim Guide
Shacharis Mincha
Neitz Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] M-F
Ohel Yakov S-F
6:00 AM Shomrei Emunah Congregation M-F
6:10 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, Th
6:15 AM Kol Torah M, TH
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F
Shearith Israel Congregation M, TH
The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelM, TH
6:20 AM Agudah of Greenspring M, TH
Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F
Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's) S-F
Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F
Kehilath B'nai Torah M, TH
Pikesville Jewish CongregationM, TH
Shomrei Emunah CongregationS, M, TH
6:25 AM The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelT, W, F
6:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring T, W, F
Chabad of Park Heights M-F
Darchei Tzedek M-F
Kehilath B'nai Torah T, W, F
Khal Bais Nosson M-F
Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach Tzedek M-F
Kol Torah T, W, F
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah M-F
Ohr Yisroel M-F
Pikesville Jewish CongregationT, W, F
Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F
Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F
6:35 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan)M, TH
Ohel Moshe M, TH
6:40 AM Aish Kodesh (downstairs Minyan)T, W, F
Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationM, TH
6:45 AM B”H and Mesivta of Baltimore (Dirshu Minyan) S-F
Beth Abraham M, TH
Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue M-F
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
Ner Tamid M-F
Ohel Moshe T, W, F
Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim M-F
6:50 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH
Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] M, TH
Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh M, TH
Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationT, W, F
Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh M, TH
Derech Chaim M-F
Kol Torah M-F
Ohel Moshe S
Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH
Shomrei Emunah CongregationM, TH
The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterM, TH
6:55 AM Beth Abraham T, W, F
Kol Torah M, TH
7:00 AM Aish Kodesh (upstairs Minyan) M-F
Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F
Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] T, W, F
Arugas HaBosem (Rabbi Taub's)S
Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh T, W, F
Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh T, W, F Greenspring Sephardic Synagogue S Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach TzedekS
Kol Torah T, W, F
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah M-F
Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F
Shearith Israel Congregation S, M, TH
Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F
Shomrei Mishmeres Hakodesh M-F
The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterT, W, F Tiferes Yisroel M-F
7:05 AM Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) M, TH
7:15 AM Kedushas Yisrael S Kol Torah S
Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S, T, W, F
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
Ner Israel Rabbinical College S-F
Shearith Israel Congregation T, W, F
Shomrei Emunah CongregationS
Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S
The Adas: Chofetz Chaim Adas Bnei IsraelS
Tzeirei Anash M-F
7:20 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore M, TH
Beth Tfiloh Congregation M-F
Kol Torah M-F
Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] M, TH
Shomrei Emunah CongregationM, TH
7:30 AM Agudah of Greenspring S
Agudath Israel of Baltimore S, T, W, F
Ahavat Shalom [Sefaradi] S
Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F
Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore S-F
Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh S
Beit Yaakov [Sefaradi] S
Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationS
Chabad of Park Heights S
Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe AryehS-F
Darchei Tzedek S
Kedushas Yisrael S-F
Khal Bais Nosson S
Ner Israel Rabbinical College (Mechina) S-F
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S, T, W, F
Shomrei Emunah CongregationT, W, F
7:45 AM Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation M-F
Talmudical Academy S-F
Darchei Tzedek M-F
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
Mesivta Kesser Torah S-F
Mesivta Shaarei Chaim S-F
7:50 AM Derech Chaim S
Ner Tamid S
Ohel Moshe M-F
8:00 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F
Beth Abraham S
Chabad Israeli Center M-F
Darchei Tzedek S
Khal Ahavas Yisroel/ Tzemach TzedekS
Kehillas Meor HaTorah S
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Ohr Yisroel S
Pikesville Jewish CongregationS
Shearith Israel Congregation S
Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F
The Shul at the Lubavitch CenterS
Tiferes Yisroel S
Tzeirei Anash S
Yeshiva Tiferes Hatorah S-F
8:15 AM Kehilath B'nai Torah S Kol Torah S
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
8:20 AM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S-F
8:25 AM Ohr Chadash Academy (School Days Only) S-F
8:30 AM Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F
Chabad Israeli Center S
Machzikei Torah (Sternhill's) S-F
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Ohel Moshe S
Ohr Hamizrach [Sefaradi] S
Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F
Shomrei Mishmeres HakodeshS
8:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
9:00 AM Aish Kodesh S
Agudath Israel of Baltimore S-F
Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim S
Beth Tfiloh Congregation S
Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion CongregationS
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Moses Montefiore Anshe EmunahS
Shomrei Emunah Congregation S-F
Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim S-F
9:15 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
9:30 AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
9:45 AM Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah S-F
10:00AM Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah S-F
Selichos: This list covers year-round zmanim. Please
Mincha Gedolah
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah
Khal Ahavas Yisroel/Tzemach Tzedek
12:30 PM Kol Torah
12:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor, Baltimore, MD 21202
1:00 PM 10055 Red Run Blvd Suite 295
Milk & Honey Bistro 1777 Reisterstown RD
1:25 PM Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim
1:45 PM Ohel Moshe
Wealcatch Insurance
1:50 PM One South Street, 27th Floor (M-Th)
2:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)
Big Al @ The Knish Shop Party Room
Kol Torah
Market Maven
Reischer Minyan - 23 Walker Ave 2nd Floor
2:15 PM Pikesville Beis Medrash - 15 Walker Ave
2:30 PM Bais Medrash of Ranchleigh
Community Kollel Tiferes Moshe Aryeh Tov Pizza Mincha Minyan
Ner Israel Rabbinical College
Mesivta Shaarei Chaim (Etz Chaim Building)
Shearith Israel Congregation
2:45 PM Kollel of Greenspring
Shearith Israel Congregation (S-Th)
3:00 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (S-F)
Bais Haknesses Ohr HaChaim
Mercaz Torah U'Tefillah
3:05 PM Kedushas Yisrael
3:15 PM Hat Box
3:22 PM Ohr Chadash Academy (School Days Only, Call to Confirm)
11:30 PM Agudath Israel of Baltimore (Bein Hazemanim only)
Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah
Political Crossfire
The Ominous Implications of the Pager Attack Against Hezbollah
By David Ignatius
The scene in Lebanon last Tuesday was like something out of a bizarre James Bond movie – with pagers exploding simultaneously in the pockets of hundreds of Hezbollah fighters around the country in what appeared to be an ingenious Israeli operation that combined cyberwar with sabotage.
But Hezbollah gets to write the next chapter in this real-life thriller. And Israeli officials were preparing Tuesday night for retaliatory attacks that, if not contained, could trigger the all-out regional war U.S. officials have been trying to head off for nearly a year.
Israel didn’t take credit for Tuesday’s attack, but it didn’t need to. An attack of this sophistication and daring in Lebanon could not have been staged by any other nation. The video scenes of Hezbollah fighters blown to the floor by their own communications devices sent an unmistakable Israeli message to the
Iranian-backed militia: We own you. We can penetrate every space in which you operate.
“When Hezbollah considers how to respond, they should consider that Israel may have more surprises for them. And Israel does,” said one source familiar with Israeli thinking, during an interview on Tuesday.
Biden administration officials were quick to distance themselves from the attack in Lebanon, saying they had not been given any prior notice. For President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, the timing couldn’t be worse: This sharp escalation and risk of a wider war comes less than two months before the presidential election – and it might detonate any chance of a Gaza cease-fire deal and the release of Israeli hostages.
U.S. officials were in contact with Iran through a back channel on Tuesday to convey that the United States did not
have any role on the attack. The administration’s sense, for now, is that Hezbollah is confused and panicked, and that it won’t make an immediate military response. If there is an attack, U.S. officials believe Israel can contain the damage –and that, if necessary, the United States will help defend Israel.
Israel’s apparent decision to launch the attack was probably driven by both political and operational factors. The U.S.-led cease-fire plan is stalled, and with it the hope of a diplomatic deal with Hezbollah to calm the border. And having developed the extraordinary ability to turn their adversary’s communications devices into bombs, Israel might have judged that this capability must be used before it could be discovered and the pagers disarmed, as the newsletter Al Monitor reported on Tuesday night.
Israel’s desire to strike Hezbollah harder reflects a broad view among Is -
raelis that the country can’t afford what has become a prolonged war of attrition with Lebanese militia members. Though Israel has effectively neutered Hamas militarily in Gaza, Hezbollah has continued to expand its rocket attacks against northern Israel. More than 60,000 Israelis have been forced to evacuate their homes in the north, leaving behind what amount to ghost towns.
The political pressure to deal with “the north,” as Israelis call it, has become nearly as intense as the desire for the hostages’ freedom. “When it comes to Lebanon and the north, there is a growing consensus in Israel that something needs to be done,” said the source familiar with Israeli thinking. The source also noted that the Israeli cabinet on Monday had added a new goal to its list of war aims: The return of Israelis to their homes near the border with Lebanon. The ingenuity of the pager attack was
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Israel’s apparent penetration of Hezbollah’s secretive supply chain – which had distributed the exploding devices. The group’s leader, Hasan Nasrallah, had warned his operatives in a February speech to stop using cellphones, which had “become like everyone’s oxygen,” but which gave away the fighters’ positions and sometimes acted as Israeli spying devices.
“Israel no longer needs collaborators,” Nasrallah said. “Its surveillance devices are in your pockets. If you are looking for the Israeli agent, look at the phone in your hands and those of your wives and children.” Nasrallah knew that mobile devices send signals to commercial cellphone towers that can easily be intercepted.
Hezbollah rushed to protect its military network by providing members with special pagers that used a system that was harder to crack. The militia surely never imagined that Israeli operatives could penetrate their supply chain for the pagers. But that’s what appears to have happened, U.S. cyber experts told me. Hezbollah sent a telling message late Tuesday to its operatives: “Each one who received a new pager, throw it away,” according to a source quoted by The Post.
What caused the devices to explode at about 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday? When the attacks began to flood Beirut hospitals with what would be more than 2,800 casualties, several U.S. analysts told me they initially suspected that Israeli malware might have triggered explosions of lithium batteries in the pagers. But videos that captured several of the detona-
aged to get access to the pagers themselves before they were distributed and inserted small amounts of very powerful explosives. Malware inserted into the pagers’ operating systems likely created a cyber trigger, so that when the pagers received a call from a particular number – or some other signal – the explosives detonated, the sources said.
tions make that theory unlikely. Lithium batteries get very hot before they explode – so hot that nobody would keep them long in their pockets. And the explosion was typically preceded by smoke and then fire, the videos appear to show. What likely happened, U.S. sources told me, was that Israeli agents man -
From a technical standpoint, it was a brilliant operation. Everyone on the military network was a target – including, it appears, the Iranian ambassador to Lebanon, who was shown on videos entering a hospital after being wounded. The Hezbollah network has now lost its special internal communications system.
And because it appears to have Hezbollah’s number, quite literally, Israel can send messages warning surviving operatives that they will be killed if they try to retaliate, one U.S. source noted. Beyond its devastating effect on Hezbollah, the attack signals the beginning of a new and very dangerous era in cyberwarfare. Any device that is connected to the internet can potentially be transformed into a weapon. The circuits of a “smart” appliance can be manipulated so that they malfunction in a dangerous way. In the Stuxnet cyberattack against Iran’s nuclear program, malware caused centrifuges to spin so wildly that they became unstable and self-destructed. In the future of what’s called of the “Internet of Things,” the errant device could be your phone, refrigerator or television. With each new advance of weapons technology, designers imagine they’ll have exclusive use of the deadly tools of war. The United States once had what seemed a monopoly on drones, for example, but they’re now a pervasive instrument of war. Even the audacious 007 would know that his enemies can turn his weapons against him.
Ari Rosenberg (Crown Heights) & Pnina Bendet (Baltimore)
Dani Hefter (Baltimore) & Chemda Zidell (Monsey)
Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!
Yitzchak & Atara Elefant on the birth of a daughter
Scott & Nadine Stofenbergon the birth of a daughter
Estee and Avi Herskowitz on the birth of a son
Mr. and Mrs. Yissacher Brody on the birth of a daughter
Yitzchok and Yehudis Matitia on the birth of a son
Mr. and Mrs. Yosef Fried on the birth of a son
Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!
Mental Health Corner
The Third Date
In the Shidduch system that is practiced in the Yeshiva-oriented community, the third date (approximately) has become the moment in time when a dating young man or woman will disclose information that the other party must process before continuing. The justification for this approach is that if it is disclosed before the first date, they will be rejected out of hand. On the other hand, if it is disclosed later in the process it is considered dishonest, as one may have become emotionally involved and can no longer objectively process the information. The third date offers the perfect balance. The process is far enough along that one can see the other person’s qualities and look past the “skeletons in the closet”, but it is still early enough in the process that the decision to continue or not will be relatively objective.
The information that is disclosed is sometimes related to mental health. The question then becomes how does one decide whether or not to continue dating someone who has a history of mental illness. This question has many parts to it, and in this article, we will focus on one specific point, and that is the importance that the person you are dating owns their mental illness. Just to clarify, this article is focusing on a disclosure involving a diagnosable mental illness.
For the purpose of illustration, let us imagine two different types of disclosures.
“Two years ago, my OCD really flared up, and I was briefly hospitalized. Boruch Hashem, I got the help that I needed, and my OCD is cured. I am telling this to you so I can be
completely open and honest, but in reality, it is in the past and is completely irrelevant to my future.”
“Two years ago, my OCD really flared up, and I was briefly hospitalized. Boruch Hashem, I got the help that I needed, and my OCD is under control. I am still taking medication, because my therapist and psychiatrist both feel that the risks of going of off of meds outweigh the benefits. Even though I feel fine, I see my therapist once every couple of months just to touch base and review some pointers of staying healthy. I know that I have a predisposition to anxiety, and therefore I try my best to be proactive in my mental health.”
Do you see the difference between these two different disclosures? The first individual wants to be honest with the person they are dating, but is being unwittingly dishonest with themselves. A bout of mental illness that required hospitalization a mere two years prior cannot simply be dismissed as an irrelevant part of their past that they are disclosing just to be transparent. On the other hand, the second individual is not trying to pooh-pooh their mental illness. They are taking full ownership of their mental illness and are staying one step ahead of their mental illness.
One of the differences between these two individuals is how they will handle a flare-up. The first person might ignore the early signs of an emerging problem, and by the time they recognize the problem they might be in the midst of a relapse. The second person stays one step ahead of their mental illness and does not lose sight of their need to be vigilant about their condition.
This may be analogous to someone who has high blood pressure. One approach may be that right now everything seems fine and if there is a flare-up they will deal with it then. The other approach is to be proactive. Proper diet, exercise, and
regular checkups to stay one step ahead of their medical condition.
Marriage does not solve problems. Quite the contrary, it aggravates issues that each individual brings into the marriage. If someone does have a mental illness and is not being proactive in their selfcare, there is a risk that the stress of marriage may be a trigger. However, a growing person who is proactive in their personal development and well-being may have actually grown and matured as a result of their mental illness, and makes them a more suitable partner in a marriage.
It is often the deepest pain and suffering that helps one grow into their highest self. When facing a prospective marriage partner on a Shidduch date with a history of mental illness, you might be pleasantly surprised to discover that their mental illness has propelled them to levels of maturity and growth that is hard to find elsewhere.
This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org
To Raise a Laugh
Answers Off The Cuff
Ibet you’re anxious to learn the results of my blood-pressure test.
Calm down.
In last week’s article, I talked about my high blood pressure, and how, for the sake of a more accurate reading and because I kept claiming that my blood pressure was only high when I was awake, the doctor recommended that I wear a 24-hour blood pressure cuff, which is a cuff that goes off at random times -- usually the worst times possible, like a photographer at a simcha -- so the doctor could determine whether he should prescribe more pills.
I actually asked the technician, when he was putting on the cuff, if I should specifically relax to make the numbers low, or if I should specifically be active, or what.
He told me that I should just go about my regular routine. But I don’t know if that was actually what I was supposed to do, or if he specifically wanted me to think I didn’t have to relax so my numbers would skew high. He did tell me that it didn’t matter, because this wasn’t actually a stress test. A stress test, he said, is when they make you run on a treadmill, and if you can’t run, they shock you. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t get stressed by that. So clearly they’re skewing the tests high. They just want to sell everyone pills. That’s where the money is.
He did say that when the machine starts inflating, though, I should make sure to sit still and relax my arm.
But it goes off randomly. That’s the whole point.
So I said, “You clearly don’t want me to do anything today. You want me to take it easy.”
And he said, “No, go about your day.”
I said, “I can’t sit down in middle of the supermarket and take it easy.”
The cuff is attached to a tube, which goes around, behind your neck, to a huge monitor on your belt. Well, on my belt. I actually got a choice. He said, “You could wear it around your neck, or you could wear it on your belt. I suggest your neck.”
So I said, “I’m not going to wear it around my neck.” I have no desire of announcing to the world that I’m doing this.
“I saw Mordechai Schmutter in the store today. He had the weirdest pedometer.”
So I said, “I have to go to the store.”
So he said, “Then wear it under your shirt.”
And I said, “That’s ridiculous. It’s two inches thick. They’re going to think I’m shoplifting band-aids.”
Then he said, “Under no circumstances should you push these three buttons that are jutting out in the front of the monitor.”
While I’m going about my day. Normally.
And as soon as I got into the car and put on my seatbelt, I heard a button get pushed. This is what happens when you wear it on your belt. I actually asked him on the spot: “If I accidentally push a button, does it change the settings? How do I undo it?”
And he said, “Don’t push it. Resist the urge.”
And I said, “It’s not about the urge. I’m asking what if I push it by accident?”
So he said, “Why do you want to push these buttons so badly?”
I don’t. But things happen. Buttons get pressed. I know this, because I carry a voice recorder, and sometimes, my pocket will suddenly start talking, and the person near me will go, “What is that?” and I’ll say, “I don’t know,” and I’ll stop and wonder why it sounds like me.
So I went about my day, with the cuff randomly going off, and there’s definitely a certain amount of stress in knowing that this cuff can go off at any minute. And I don’t want to be doing anything stressful when it happens, so I’m trying to get that stuff done in between, and then suddenly it goes off. It’s kind of like playing “Red Light Green Light” randomly, over the course of the day, where whenever it goes off, I have to stop and find somewhere to sit down. And I couldn’t always do that. For example, it went off when I was carrying sodas into the house.
And yes, the monitor does give a little warning beep before it starts inflating, but
By Mordechai Schmutter
that isn’t enough time. It’s basically enough time to go, “What was that?” And then it starts inflating. I’m the same guy who goes, “What was that?” to my voice recorder, and I’ve had that for years.
So basically, every time it went off, I was seized by some kind of panic. But I figured that at least I would have all that sleeping time later, which was the point of this test in the first place. But then, when I woke up the next morning, my first thought was, “I don’t think it went off at all last night.”
Anyway, the doctor called me the next day and said, “Okay, so I looked at your results, and it’s a little high.”
And I said, “Before you go on, are you aware that it didn’t go off a single time after midnight?”
And he said, “How do you know?” Like I wasn’t there.
So I said, “Well, I went to bed at 2.”
So he looked and said, “Hey, you’re right! But your average is still high, so we’re giving you pills.”
So I said, “Eight hours of sleep would’ve given me a better average.”
He’s like, “I think no matter what happened, you were going to refuse to take another pill.”
I said, “I think no matter what happened, you were going to assign me another pill.”
But he didn’t like how worked up I was getting. So he said, “What would happen if you took your blood pressure right now?”
And that’s how I ended up on another pill.
So basically, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no good time to measure blood pressure, and that’s why so many people (46% of adults) come out high. If not for blood pressure tests, it would be way fewer people. Just people who have to deal with doctors.
Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published eight books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at MSchmutter@gmail.com.
Life C ach
Why Am I SoFull?
By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
The holidays are almost here. Even though they come late this year.
No matter what the calendar states. After Labor Day, we’re focusing on our fate.
And not just that, but thinking where we’ll be. At home or traveling to the holy city. Or cooking, hosting, and truly busy. Or, at our parents, catered to, by family.
If 2-day festivals have Shabbos join in. They luckily leave little time for sin. ‘Cuz straight to shul we just keeping going. Ergo all our mitzvos just keep growing.
Yet, these 3-day holidays knock us out. ‘Cuz praying is not what they’re exclusively about.
Eating meal after meal is a surprising must. By the end of them, you’re ready to bust!
And it’s not just one time, you get this triad. It’s Rosh Hashana, Sukkos, and the holiday of “much glad.” So nine days of stuffing come in quick succession. Just keep pacing yourself is my suggestion.
And what about those poor moms, who just keep shopping. I’m sure they feel they’re almost dropping. At an open restaurant they’d surely rather be booking. But they are closed, so no way to avoid the cooking!
What’s going on, why all the fuss? Why is G-d overfeeding us?
The secret is, the body houses the soul. So to fill it to the brim is the goal!
The plan is for the soul, the body to emulate. Thus, to fill it to the limit is absolutely great. It should overfill with love and attraction. And launch us into a year of peace and satisfaction.
Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a certified relationship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or at rivkirosenwald@gmail.com.
Sara Gross Tech Triumphs
A Whatsapp Mishap As told to
Mazel tov! Our third son got engaged. Being that my lifestyle is more Yeshivish than the rest of my family, communication is vital to keeping us close. Unfortunately, I can’t always control that communication because I’m the only family member not on our family WhatsApp chat. When my son got engaged, it was Erev Pesach, not the easiest time to make a L’chaim. We decided to have the kallah’s parents over for a literal “l’chaim” and celebrate with the extended family at the vort after Yom Tov. If any of my siblings had asked if they could come, I would never have said no, though I did prefer it to be a small event.
Because of the busy time, my sister posted the news on WhatsApp to my siblings, and I didn’t call them all personally. My brother asked for details about the L’chaim on WhatsApp, and my sister replied that
Rebbetzin
I didn’t want anyone to come. All of my siblings were terribly hurt. They assumed I didn’t want them there because I was embarrassed that they were different from my family and didn’t want the new Mechutanim to judge us. This could not have been further from the truth. Our Mechutanim know we are more Yeshivish than our extended family and are fully comfortable with it, as are we.
My siblings refused to talk to me after this. They wouldn’t come to my Simcha and ignored all my calls and gifts. My heart is broken. Closeness to my siblings is very important to me, and because of a thoughtless WhatsApp message given on my behalf without my permission, I lost so much. Since then, I have slowly chipped away at the coldness and have put in so much effort to repair the closeness, but it’s not easy. I Daven that they will open their hearts to my love and accept my acceptance of
them so we can be close once more.
DID YOU KNOW: As drones become more popular among children and teens, parents need to be aware of the risks related to internet safety and privacy. Many drone remote controls come with screens and internet access, providing easy access to the unfiltered web and sites like YouTube, as well as the ability to upload videos for sharing.
Some drones operate with an app on a smartphone, and while you may have filtered the smartphone your teen is using, all filters, even TAG-approved filters, have vulnerabilities that a young adult with enough un-
supervised time can learn to exploit. Plus, even securely filtered drones can become compromised through software updates that enable internet access or affect privacy settings.
Beyond internet safety, there are also major privacy concerns with drone video cameras. Children may use drones to film private areas like backyards, pools, and windows, violating basic privacy and decency standards.
If there is internet access on the drone device, the only current way to block it is by removing the WiFi chip. Most drones will continue to work without WiFi, but it’s best to verify this with the manufacturer.
This is a service of TAG Baltimore. TAG Baltimore is an organization that provides technology awareness, education, and support. They can be reached at 410-449-1824 or help@ tagbaltimore.org.
Headlines Halacha
The Halachic Obligation For Those in Israel to Visit the Website, “FVAP.Gov”
By Rabbi Yair Hoffman
Is this headline true? Is there actually a halachic obligation to visit FVAP. gov? Would Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, the Steipler Gaon, zt”l, the Slonimer Rebbe, zt”l and the Vizhnitzer Rebbe really say that this is a halachic obligation?
Well, let’s list two qualifications:
1) It particularly applies to American citizens over 18 studying or living in Eretz Yisroel. But it does include seminary girls and yeshiva bochurim.
2) There is an alternative to FVAP.gov, and that is visiting the OU Israel Center in Jerusalem. They will provide overseas voters all the tools and information needed so they can vote in the upcoming election. In the past, these absentee ballots made a difference.
The OU-Israel Office is located at 22 Rechov Keren Hayesod (between Sokolov Street and Mendel Mocher Seforim Street). They can also visit: https:// www.ou.org/votefromabroad
The Obligation
Is there an actual halachic obligation to vote?
The short answer is yes.
Rav Feinstein’s View
Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, discusses
the obligation to vote in an English letter and finds the source of such an obligation in the notion of hakaras hatov expressing our gratitude. In 1984, the Jewish Community Relations Council of New York was conducting a voter registration campaign. Rav Moshe Feinstein was approached and responded that, in fact, Jews should vote.
Subsequently, a letter was released signed by Rav Feinstein delineating the obligation to vote. The letter stated:
“On reaching the shores of the United States, Jews found a safe haven. The rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights have allowed us the freedom to practice our religion without interference and to live in this republic in safety.
“A fundamental principle of Judaism is hakaras hatov — recognizing benefits afforded us and giving expression to our appreciation. Therefore, it is incumbent on each Jewish citizen to participate in the democratic system which guards the freedoms we enjoy. The most fundamental responsibility incumbent on each individual is to register and to vote.
“Therefore, I urge all members of the Jewish community to fulfill their obligations by registering as soon as possible,
and by voting. By this, we can express our appreciation and contribute to the continued security of our community.”
Rectifying An Urgent Matter
On the other hand, the Steipler Gaon, zt”l, seems to view the obligation of voting as a means of fulfilling the need to rectify an urgent matter. Indeed, he is cited in Orchos Rabbeinu p. 141 in Cheshvan of 5726, as even having permitted a mourner within the seven days of mourning to vote when the need to vote is urgent.
Respecting The View of the Gedolei Torah
The Slonimer Rebbe, zt”l, and others (see Bais Yaakov Yerichon L’Inyanei Chinuch 027-028 p. 30) have proposed an entirely different reason for the obligation. They write that the obligation to vote stems from the obligation to respect the view of gedolei Torah.
Strengthening Torah
The Vizhnitzer Rebbe writes that the obligation to vote in Israel stems from the obligation to strengthen Torah (Michtevei Kodesh #238).
Pikuach Nefesh
Is there perhaps an additional reason that applies this year, that it can save Jewish lives? This author thinks that it does. But remember, if you don’t register, you cannot vote.
In conclusion, there does seem to be a halachic obligation to vote either stemming from hakaras hatov, according to Rav Feinstein, zt”l; rectifying an urgent matter, according to the Steipler, zt”l; respecting the view of the gedolei Torah, according to the Slonimer Rebbe; and from the obligation of strengthening Torah, according to the Vizhnitzer Rebbe.
We also do not see any indication that the above reasons are mutually exclusive. In other words, there could very well be five different halachic reasons why those learning or living in Eretz Yisroel should register to vote and actually vote. This is our hishtadlus, according to the aforementioned gedolim.
This article should be viewed as a halachic discussion and not practical advice. The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@ gmail.com.
Delving into the Daf
What’s in a Name?
By Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow
The Gemara in Bava Basra 91a provides material for some good trivia questions. What was the name of Avraham Avinu’s mother? What was the name of Dovid HaMelech’s mother? Which famous biblical personality has a sister whose name we know but is not mentioned anywhere in Tanach?
The Talmud states: “Rav Chanan bar Rava further stated in the name of Rav: The name of Avraham’s mother was Amasla’i, the daughter of Karnevo; the name of Haman’s mother was Amasla’i, the daughter of Orvasi…. The mother of Dovid was named Nitzevess, the daughter of Ada’el. The mother of Shimshon was named Tzelelponis, and his sister, Nashyan. In what respect does this matter? In respect of a reply to the heretics.”
The Shevet Mussar writes that Nimrod saw through astrology that a male child would be born who would rebel against him and his religion. He therefore decreed that all boys born at that time should be killed. Avraham Avinu’s mother had a boy and successfully hid him. As a token of gratitude for her actions, her name is mentioned in the Gemara. It is well known in some circles that uttering the name of Avraham Avinu’s mother is a segulah when standing in front of a judge or office for any type of determination. This segulah is based on the Chida.
The Gemara ends the discussion of names by raising a question of why this matters. The Gemara answers: “In respect of a reply to the heretics.” The Rashbam clearly understood the question and answer to be regarding all the names. Heretics will ask us if we know those particular names – and we will
have an answer. This is especially true regarding the mother of Shimshon, who is regarded by many heretics as a prophetess. However, the Maharsha points out that no heretic would ever ask the name of Shimshon’s sister. She is not mentioned anywhere in Tanach. Why, then, does the Gemara mention her name?
Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, zt”l , said the name was mentioned as an answer to the heretics. Someday, someone will suggest that it’s possible to have a baby without any father. They will cite this story of Shimshon as a proof. An angel speaks to Shimshon’s mother, and she
life-changing. This was not a one-day affair but lasted an entire week. At any rate, all the students were glad to be listening to entertaining speeches about Yiddishkeit rather than performing mundane classwork.
When the discussion turned to other religions, a presenter posed the following question: If a “savior” is born without a physical father, how could he be descended, generation after generation, from King David? It seems to be in conflict with the idea that their savior had no biological father, especially since one of the books in the “New Testament” states that their savior’s father
Where does one turn to on such matters? He wrote to the pope and asked him directly!
later becomes pregnant. In turn, we will cite the Midrash (Parshas Naso) that the angel told her that she would have a baby together with her husband. And as further proof that the couple was not in fact sterile, we will cite this Gemara that says Shimshon had a sister. The heretic may choose to believe what he believes, but the Gemara was making clear that Shimshon had a biological mother and father.
Years ago, Mesivta Chofetz Chaim brought in the famed Arachim seminar (like the Discovery Program), at that time led by Rav Shaya Cohen, shlita, to speak to the 11th- and 12th-grade talmidim. It was inspiring, informative, and
was Joseph. Despite this discrepancy, their standard answer is that the savior adopted the tribe of his adoptive father.
Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen sought to find the official response to this question and others. This question was the third one he asked. Where does one turn to on such matters? He wrote to the pope and asked him directly! The Vatican duly responded in December 1995. They told him to write to the French Dominican Fathers’ Ecole Biblique in Jerusalem. Undeterred, Rabbi Kelemen proceeded to do so. In January 1996, he received a reply that he should look in the books authored by Raymond Brown. He next wrote to Raymond Brown, who basically
The letter that Rabbi Kelemen received from the Vatican
told him to just get his book. His books have “Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur” approvals, which are official declarations that the book is free of doctrinal or moral error. (The letters from the book Permission to Receive are printed here with the permission of Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen.)
The final answer? An admission that the concept of the fatherless baby was invented. Faced with a choice of admitting to an inappropriate relationship or inventing a “miraculous” birth, their religion chose the latter. (The Rambam, in fact, writes that Miriam was married to Fuhpoos, son of Yehuda, and she had a relationship with a non-Jew.) Some would view their savior’s status as a mamzer favorably, demonstrating that one could rise up against all challenges, even an ignoble birth. Yet for the masses, it was preferred to create the idea of a miraculous birth to make their savior more palatable.
Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow is a rebbe at Yeshiva Ateres Shimon in Far Rockaway. In addition, Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead, NY. He can be contacted at ASebrow@gmail.com.
Hebrain
by barbara l andesman
Jewish Jeopardy
Nobel Prize l aureates
1)
This American Nobel Laureate (1922-2020) received the Nobel Prize for Physics in 2018 at age 96. He is considered the “Father of Optical Tweezers,” which is a highly focused laser beam which can hold and move microscopic objects.
a) Niels Bohr
b) Arthur Ashkin
c) Steven Weinberg
2)
This American economist (1915-2009) was the first American to win the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences (1970). Known as “The Father of Modern Economics,” he considered mathematics to be “The Natural Language” of economics. He accepted many facets of Keynesian Economics and spent most of his professional life at MIT.
a) Paul Samuelson
b) Milton Friedman
c) Paul Krugman
3)
This German-born theoretical physicist won the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics “for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect.”
a) Niels Bohr
b) Adolf von Baeyer
c) Albert Einstein
4)
This Romanian-born American Holocaust survivor became a professor and political activist. He authored 57 books, usually in English or French. His best known book is “Night” which details his experiences as a prisoner at Auschwitz and Buchenwald. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986; the Norwegian Nobel Committee stated that he delivered a message of “peace, atonement, and human dignity” to humanity.
a) Yitzchak Rabin
b) Elie Wiesel
c) Simon Wiesenthal
5)
Born Shabtai Zisl ben Avrohom Zimmerman in 1941 in Minnesota, this American folk singer, author, and writer had hit songs including “Blowin’ In The Wind” (1963) and “The Times They are a-Changin” (1964). In 2016, he received the Nobel Prize in Literature “for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.”
a) Paul Simon
b) Bob Dylan
c) Steve Goodman
tHe YesHiva World
1)
Known as “the mother of all yeshivas” and also called “Etz Chaim,” it was founded in 1803 in Belarus and lasted until 1892; R’Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin became its head in 1854.
a) Mir Yeshiva
b) Telshe Yeshiva
c) Volozhin Yeshiva
2)
During World War II, this Polish Yeshiva relocated to Kobe, Japan, (1941) and then to Shanghai, China, until 1947; it is currently located in Brooklyn, NY and in Jerusalem, Israel.
a) Ponevezh Yeshiva
b) Mirrer Yeshiva
c) Brisk Yeshiva
3)
In 1927, this Lithuanian yeshiva established a High School Department for Girls, and in 1930, the Yavneh Teachers’ Training Institute opened.
a) Mirrer Yeshiva
b) Telshe Yeshiva
c) Chasam Sofer Yeshiva
4)
Founded in 1886 in New York City, this school’s undergraduate division “offers a unique dual curriculum, inspired by the modern orthodox Judaism philosophy of “Torah Umaddah,” Torah and the secular knowledge.
a) Yeshiva University
b) Jewish Theological Seminary
c) Touro College
5)
Founded in 1896, located in New York City, it is the Rabbinical Seminary of Yeshiva University.
a) Jewish Theological Seminary
b) Hebrew Union College
c) Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary
discoveries
1)
This is the accumulation of almost 400,000 Jewish manuscripts and fragments, written from 870-1880 AD and found in the storeroom of the Ben Ezra Synagogue. It was discovered in stages in 1752, 1864, and 1896. They are known as the:
a) Cairo Geniza
b) Afghan Geniza
c) Dead Sea Scrolls
2)
In 1960, his “hideaway” was discovered at the “House on Garibaldi Street”; he was arrested in Argentina and executed by the government of Israel.
a) Klaus Barbie
b) Adolf Eichmann
c) Josef Mengele
3)
In 1838, this tunnel which feeds water from Gihon Springs to the Pool of Siloam in East Jerusalem was rediscovered; it dates back to late 8th and early 7th century BCE.
a) Western Wall Tunnel
b) Hezekiah’s Tunnel
c) Templar Tunnel
4)
In 1880, a youth wading in Hezekiah’s tunnel in Jerusalem, discovered this inscription which records the construction of the tunnel in the 8th century BCE; it was cut in the rock.
a) Siloam Inscription
b) Halmidi Inscription
c) Epic of Gilamesh
5)
Discovered between 1947 and 1956 in eleven caves, these 981 documents include fragments from every sefer in Tanach except for Megillas Esther.
a) Aleppo Codex
b) Dead Sea Scrolls
c) Codex Sinaiticus
discoveries aN swers: 1-A; 2-B; 3-B; 4-A; 5-B
the yeshiva world aN swers: 1-C; 2-B; 3-B; 4-A; 5-C
Nobel Prize l aureates aN swers: 1-B; 2-A; 3-C; 4-B; 5-B
International Customs Cheat Sheet
Here’s a list of various customs from countries around the world, just in case you find yourself and your blue hat on a UN peacekeeping mission there.
Japan: Do not use chopsticks to point at something and don’t stab your sushi with them. I guess in the U.S. we are not cool with people using their spaghetti fork to point at things either, so not so strange.
Greece: When a child loses a tooth, they throw it on the roof. Must really make the tooth fairy’s life difficult.
them. Making slurping sounds when eating noodles in the USA is a way of indicating that you’re enjoying them, too, but you still shouldn’t do it because it’s annoying as anything!
Russia: Do not give someone yellow flowers in this country, as they are associated with ending relationships. Isn’t that what vodka is for?
Norway: Use a knife and fork, even when eating a sandwich. No wonder people from Norway are so serious.
China: When giving a gift, make sure that it does not contain the colors white or black, as they are associated with death and funerals. And, make sure you didn’t buy it on Alibaba, because they will know it’s junk.
Thailand: If it’s November and you see platters of fresh fruit, cakes and candy on top of tables that line the streets, don’t eat any. It is for the local monkeys to feast on, in a feast called the Monkey Buffet Festival. Wow, real creative with the festival name.
China: Making slurping sounds when eating noodles in China is a way of indicating that you’re really enjoying
You Gotta Be Kidding Me!
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking in a bar. A fly lands in the Englishman’s pint. The Englishman is incensed and pushes his beer away and orders another.
South Korea: Do not write someone a note with a red pen, as red pens were used to list the names of those who had died. Red pens scare me too… Every test I ever took came back with a whole lot of red pen.
Nicaragua: It is common to point with the lips instead of the thumb or index finger like the majority of the world. I guess there is a point to pucker face after all.
Spain: If you are in the town of Bunol and you suddenly find people throwing tomatoes at you, you may have simply stepped into the world’s biggest tomato fight which takes place there the last Wednesday of August. If it’s not the last Wednesday of August, well, then, it may just be something you said.
A fly lands in the Scotsman’s pint. The Scotsman looks at the fly, shrugs, and just drinks the fly down.
A fly lands in the Irishman’s pint. The Irishman is furious. He picks out the fly, and violently shakes the fly over his pint glass while screaming, “Spit it out, you dumb fly!”
Match the Country to the Fact
1. This country has been named the world’s happiest country for the past seven years by the World Happiness Report.
2. It is the only country in the world to have a bill of rights for cows.
3. This country has the world’s longest railway, spanning over 9,000 km.
4. The official national animal of this country is a unicorn.
5. This country has the oldest known flag still in use.
6. This country is home to the most overweight people in the world.
7. The national symbol of this country is a cedar tree.
8. This country is home to the oldest university in the world, dating back to 859 AD.
9. This country has the most lakes in the world.
10. This country has a city with the longest name of any city in the world.
India
Canada
Nauru
Russia
Morocco
Scotland
New
Zealand
Finland
Lebanon
Denmark
Answers:
1. Finland - Why are they so happy? According to the report, among other things, there is hardly any crime or government corruption. (Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.)
2. India – There is actually a Bill of Rights for cows. (After all, cows are people too! Just ask PETA.)
3. Russia – The Trans-Siberian Railway from Moscow to Vladivostok is 5,771 miles, making it the longest train ride in the world (and the smelliest too!).
4. Scotland – Its national animal is a unicorn. (I guess when you’re drunk all day, what difference does it make what your national animal is.)
5. Denmark – It has the oldest flag in use. (Gotta be good for something!)
6. Nauru- 95% of the population of this small island nation is overweight. (We can get Ozempic to you guys by boat, if you want.)
7. Lebanon – Their national symbol is the cedar tree (Uh, actually, it’s exploding beepers now! Beep…beep…bye-bye!)
8. Morocco – This country is home to the oldest university, Al-Qarawiyyin. (Also home to the university that you can’t pronounce.)
9. Canada - Our northern neighbor has more than 2 million lakes. (That’s a lot of Cut-tages.)
10. New Zealand - There’s a city called Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamatea turipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu. (There’s no way I can spell that backwards!)
Wisdom key:
7-10 correct: You must have gone to Al-Qarawiyyin University, which is why you hang out at Hachaim V’Hashalom all day!
3-6 correct: The toxins from the Trans-Siberian Railway may have burnt some of our brain cells.
0-2 correct: You are traumatized by knowledge. Did your teacher force you to remember the spelling of Taumatawhakatangi hangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaunga horonukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu?
Notable Quotes
“Say What?!”
Last Friday, Joe Biden turned over a cabinet meeting to his wife Jill. If that’s not bad enough, he then put Hunter in charge of the medicine cabinet.
– Greg Gutfeld
Biden Promises Next Trump Assassin Will Be a Woman of Color
- Babylon Bee
BREAKING: Israel Kills Thousands More Terrorists With Exploding “200 Free Hours of AOL” CDs
- Ibid
We had an open primary, and she won it.
– Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) in a recent podcast claiming that Kamala Harris won an open primary, even though that is absolutely not true
I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
- Legendary NFL quarterback Brett Favre, age 54, disclosing during Congressional testimony on Tuesday that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease
We can’t afford four more years of this!
- Democratic vice presidential nominee Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz at a rally, seeming to forget that his running mate is the sitting vice president
I’m happy to be here, but I just want to be remembered for doing a good job; that’s most important.
- Tinton Falls, N.J., Mayor Vito Perillo at his 100th birthday celebration
I think Trump’s decision on the debate basically does make sense at this point. It’s too risky for him in the final days. He thinks there’s a natural arc here where she’s peaked and now she’s going to really have to figure out ways to get another point or two which are declining.
- Harris Poll chairman and Democratic strategist Mark Penn on Fox News explaining why it makes sense for former President Donald Trump not to debate Vice President Kamala Harris again
I want to be very clear: I thought what Israel chose to do about blowing up the pagers and walkie talkies and after targeting and eliminating membership and leadership of Hezbollah, I absolutely support that. In fact, if anything, I love it.
- Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) on NBC’s “Meet the Press”
For the second day in a row, I absolutely endorse weaponizing Hezbollah’s tools of terror against themselves.
- Ibid, tweeting after the walkie-talkie explosions
Hezbollah is currently being run by everyone who last week Hezbollah thought wasn’t good enough to deserve a pager.
– Tweet by Mark Wallace
Israel’s pager attack in Lebanon detonated thousands of handheld devices across of a slew of public spaces, seriously injuring and killing innocent civilians. This attack clearly and unequivocally violates international humanitarian law and undermines U.S. efforts to prevent a wider conflict. Congress needs a full accounting of the attack, including an answer from the State Department as to whether any U.S. assistance went into the development or deployment of this technology.
- Tweet by AOC
AOC tweeting about pagers wounding Hezbollah terrorists but not about 12 Druze kids killed by Hezbollah is a perfect encapsulation of the modern left. Morally bankrupt terrorist sympathizers.
- Tweet by Erielle Azerrad in response to AOC
Why don’t you mention the pagers were on members of a terrorist organization that is committed to destroying Israel? Would you have been defending al Qaeda when America was lighting them up in Iraq?
- Chris Cuomo responding to AOC
A lot of students were caught up in that. And, a lot of the videos on social media gave not just a one-sided view of the conflict, but a totally anti-Israel, pro-Hamas, not just pro-Palestinian view. And for me, it was distressing because, look, I have my own opinions formed over many years.
- Hillary Clinton talking to CNN’s Fareed Zakaria about her experience while on Columbia University’s campus during the pro-Palestinian protests last spring
I am willing to sit down and have a conversation with anybody, but it’s difficult to have conversations with people who hold strong opinions with no factual and historical basis. And so, in trying to talk to students – not just at Columbia but elsewhere – I would be met with slogans. I would be met with attacks and, you know, very inflammatory language.
- Ibid.
And when I would ask, “Well, what about, do you know what happened in 2000 at Camp David?” No. “Do you know what happened in 1947?” No. “Do you know how difficult the relationships have been?” No. “Do you know that there are Arab Israelis and some are serving in the IDF?” None of that. And this whole chanting of, you know, from the “river to the sea.” What does that mean? What river? What sea? That’s what bothered me.
- Ibid.
I grew up understanding the children of the community are the children of the community, and we should all have a vested interest in ensuring that children can go grow up with the resources that they need to achieve their God-given potential.
- Kamala Harris, addressing the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute’s 47th Annual Leadership Conference in Washington, D.C.
We’re disappointed. We were looking forward to giving the vice president an enthusiastic welcome and we were confident that she would find this, you know, she speaks very much about high ideals and how it’s good to get away from division and come together in unity and all. That’s what the Al Smith dinner is all about.
- Cardinal Timothy Dolan, archbishop of New York, voicing his disappointment that Kamala Harris has chosen to skip the historic Al Smith dinner during which historically both presidential candidates have jointly attended in the weeks before the presidential election for the purpose of raising millions of dollars for charity
We’re not used to this. We don’t know how to handle it. This hasn’t happened in 40 years, since Walter Mondale turned down the invitation. And remember, he lost 49 out of 50 states. I don’t want to say there’s a direct connection there, but we’re not giving up, we hope she’s here.
- Ibid.
If you are condemning the precision of Israel’s self-defense without condemning the indiscriminateness of Hezbollah’s aggression, you are not promoting peace. You are obstinately opposing Israel’s right to defend itself against the world’s most heavily armed terrorist organization. How can one be outraged over a precision strike by Israel against terrorists while remaining silent about Hezbollah’s role in firing over 8k rockets against Israel; in displacing up to 100k Israelis from their homes; and in murdering 12 Druze children with relentless rocket fire? The selective outrage is revealing.
- Rep. Ritchie Torres (D-NY)
Now Israel has blown up walkie talkies in Lebanon. Buyer beware: If you buy anything from Israel, it might have a bomb in it. I don’t see how anyone would ever trust an Israeli-made product again.
- Tweet by Cenk Uygur, a Turkish-American politician and political commentator
Tweeted from a device that undoubtedly has Israeli technology in it.
- Ben Shapiro, in response
If I don’t win this election, Israel in my opinion will cease to exist within two years, and I believe I’m 100% percent right. If I do win, Israel will be safe and secured.
- Trump, speaking at the Israeli-American Council (IAC) conference in Washington last week
Our people have one more secret. And this [promise] is what has stood by our ancestors and us; for it was not only one man who rose up to destroy us: in every single generation people rise up to destroy us – but the Holy One, Blessed Be He, saves us from their hands.
- Dr. Miriam Adelson to Trump, immediately after his speech
Your daughter knows that, too.
- Ibid.
Health & F tness
Top 3 Changes To Make In Your Dating Life For the New Year
By Devorah Kigel
Rosh Hashana is fast approaching, and it’s time to renew our life for next year! Chazal teach us that in the month of Tishrei everything is up for re-negotiation and we have an opportunity to get a totally different destiny (din in Hebrew) for next year. If you’re single, you probably want to make sure this year is the year you meet “the one.” How can we do our hishtadlus to make sure that happens? In addition to praying (which is probably the most important key), here are my top three recommendations of what to do differently this year.
1. Figure Out
Your Dealbreakers & Stick To Them
There is no perfect person, but there is a person who is perfect for you! In order to find our husband, we’re going to have to cut down our shopping list…a lot. And we have to focus on the things that we really need and not just all the stuff that we want. We want to be discerning, not picky. So give some real thought to what your absolute needs are. Needs are things
that are essential for your happiness and fulfillment, whereas wants usually come from either peer pressure, the media, or more superficial stuff. The deal-breaker list will consist of approximately ten things that are non-negotiable. You can’t compromise on them.
Negative s—These are the deal-breakers, the things that you simply cannot live with. I call them ”airborne peanut allergies.” These are the personality traits and character traits that you can’t even be in the same room with, because you have a visceral negative reaction to them.
Positives—These are the must-haves, the ”deal-makers.” These are the character and personality traits that are so crucial for you that you can’t imagine spending your life with someone who doesn’t have them.
This list is going to be your GPS instructions for how to find Mr. Perfect-foryou. It will keep you focused on what is truly important to you and whether the person you’re dating is the one.
If you ’ve really only put needs on your list, it’s completely realistic to get everything on your deal-breaker list. If you need advice on whether your list is
reasonable, bring it to a dating coach or a happily married friend and see what your trusted advisor says.
Basically, we never have to compromise on what’s truly important to us. Settling is not something any of my clients have done, no matter what age they were.
2. Don’t Break Up
With “Mr. Pareve”
Pareve means neutral, it’s neither milk nor meat (like veggies). Who’s Mr. Pareve? It’s the guy you go on two or three dates with, and there’s no real reason to say no. You’re not grossed out by him. He didn’t say anything offensive. He basically has what you’re looking for on paper, or at least so far. He seems like he’s in your ballpark. But he ’s just… pareve . Don ’t break it off with Mr. Pareve after only a few dates!
Instead, please keep dating him. I’m begging you. The thing with Mr. Pareve is that if you date him long enough, he’ll either become Mr. Yay or Mr. Ewww eventually. You just have to give it time.
Many of us have the expectation that
when we meet the right guy, things will click right away. You’ll just know, immediately, that he’s the one. And you’ll feel all these crazy feelings, like I can’t eat –oh, my gosh, I can’t breathe!
The crazy fireworks feelings often go with infatuation, but not necessarily with love. You should feel excited when you decide to get married, but not necessarily so much intense drama. And realistically, it could take some time before you feel like he really is the guy for you.
Many, many of my clients ended up marrying boys who started off as Mr. Pareve. And by the time they got engaged, they were excited to marry him and attracted to him! We’re not talking about Mr. Ewww here – I would never tell you to go on a second date with someone who turns you off.
And if you’re wondering how you can get yourself to feel more attracted, one thing to remember is that for women, physical attraction comes largely from emotional connection. So if you’re having deeper conversations, and you’re connecting in a deeper, more emotional way, the physical attraction will often follow.
We never want to live with regrets,
looking back, thinking perhaps we ended things prematurely. Remember, it ’s always better to give it an extra date (or two) to get that elusive clarity in our kishkes. Sometimes with a little patience, Mr. Pareve might just turn out to be Mr. Perfect-for-You!
3. Don’t Be A Wife To A Boyfriend
When I meet with a new client for the first time, I do a dating history. I want to hear what’s been going on over the last five, ten, fifteen, twenty years. Sometimes, I’m writing pages of dating history –there are five years with this guy, eight years with this guy, three years with this guy, two years with this one. And I think, Oh, my gosh, this is so much wasted time!
But it’s not just time, it’s your heart! Each failed relationship into which you’ ve invested your whole self only for it not to work out is like one more wall you’re putting around your heart, making you more guarded and cynical the next time. You have your guard up.
this concept is actually the reason as a secular Jew I was first attracted to Torah Judaism. I didn’t have any beautiful, lofty spiritual reason at first. I didn’t even believe in G-d at the time! I was totally practical and pragmatic. Simply put, I was sick of the secular dating world. And I learned that Judaism offered a better solution.
with us or who are not serious. We’ve made our deal-breaker list. And now we want to date in a way that is conducive to determining compatibility. We want to be logical and smart and focused, and we want to weed out the guys who are not interested in us for the right reasons. And you know how we do that? By taking the physical off the table.
the brain and clouds your judgment. So, best to set yourself up for technical success by making sure you’re keeping the laws of “yichud ” (seclusion), meaning you’re never alone together.
With these three pointers (and lots of davening) you’re giving yourself the best shot at finding your bashert.
Wishing you a happy, sweet new year and a mazal tov!
How do we date the Jewish way? It’s called “shomer negiah” or guarding touch—I call it “dating with dignity.” It’s pretty simple, really. The guy asks you out. He plans the date. He comes prepared with questions to get to know you. He pays for the date, and you owe him nothing in return, except the pleasure of your company.
Even without touching, you will still be swayed by your feelings. You won’t be completely objective. That ’s why it ’ s so important to have a friend or a mentor or a coach to talk things over with. We want to notice potential red flags and incompatibilities while we’re dating. How is he speaking to the cashier? How does he behave around his family and friends? Is he respectful to you? But when we’re infatuated because we’ve been lax on keeping we won’t even notice. Touch fogs
As a professional Dating Coach, Devorah Kigel has helped well over 300 women get clarity in their dating life and marry their bashert. She has also been teaching classes for women on Judaism since 2001. She has her Masters in French and lived in Paris for 2 years, before discovering Torah Judaism and becoming observant. Devorah and her husband, Reuven, who is the Campus Director for Emet Outreach, host Shabbos guests most weeks. Using humor and honesty, Devorah shares the entertaining personal journey that led her to develop powerful tools to have the relationships you desire. Her book, “Marry a Mensch: Timeless Jewish Wisdom for Today’s Single Woman,” published by Gefen, was released this month and is available on Amazon. For more information, visit www.devorahkigel.com.
Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…
Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
Our son is 24 years old and started dating only a few months ago, and b”H we’ve gotten many good suggestions. After dealing with my two oldest (girls) shidduchim, this seems a lot more action packed, but I’m starting to think maybe it’s not a good thing.
Our son (I’ll call him Natan) keeps finding reasons he doesn’t want to go out with the girls we are encouraging him to. These are special girls who seem very in line with what he is looking for. His answers as to why he won’t pursue them are mainly surface level things. Things such as the girl’s family stature, wealth, high-end living are things he seems to be drawn to which baffles us especially because we did not raise him this way. How can we effectively handle this?
The Panel
The Rebbetzin
Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.
Natan is a grownup at this time. It’s too late to look to directly try to change his values even though you tried to inculcate values of deeper merit. However, when individual suggestions come up, the two of you have opportunities to help direct him to deeper values in a girl beyond the external ones.
Tactfully using questions about middos, commitment to friends, loyalty, depth, and values will help your son look beneath social standing. Don’t be pushy, and don’t preach. Discuss specific candidates with calmness and help him look for a girl of quality who also meets his other wants.
The Shadchan
Michelle Mond
Dating is a learning experience for everyone involved. Singles must dig deep inside themselves and learn what’s good for them in a spouse. Parents must learn to juggle being a loving and caring parent while also giving space for the adult child’s personal choices.
Natan has only been dating for a few months. He has likely been to weddings of fellow bochurim who married into this kind of wealth and family stature. Natan has probably always had a yearning or “tayva” for this type of lifestyle. That is not something you can effectively shield him from or steer him away from. I understand you did not raise
him in that kind of home, but that does not mean he never noticed others who do live that way.
My advice to you is to try and find him shidduch prospects within the realm of middos that you are looking for, while also taking into consideration the family type he is looking for. Once he actually dates these girls, he might soon see that the cultural difference is too different from how he was brought up. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Allow him the space to experience dating the type he believes is best and see how it works out for him. This type of girl might also be looking for a family of wealth and stature, and after experiencing some rejection, he may come to a different conclusion on his own. Give him space to allow his own experience to be his guide.
Give him space to allow his own experience to be his guide.
The Single
Tzipora Grodko
In my experience, people are not receptive to constructive feedback or criticism if they haven’t personally asked for it. Navigating dating is another part of growth and exploration, and sometimes, growth simply cannot
be expedited. Although you can express your feelings and concerns, it’s important to know that you may need to exercise patience while your son comes to his independent conclusion on what he would like to do, based on the experiences he has.
The Zaidy
Dr. Jeffrey Galler
My wife asked me for a preview of this week’s column. I told her the question was about a young man who was determined to marry a girl from a rich family and that I was going to write, “You know, looking back, I wish I had
thought of that when I was dating!”
My wife gave me a look that terrified me and declared, “Don’t. You. Dare.”
So, here are my revised thoughts:
The Past
I feel certain that you have taught your son to seek a life partner who has the proper hashkafa, core values, and character traits and who shares his goals and aspirations.
The Present
Your son is now 24 years old, and you have not been the main influence in his life for quite some time now. More likely, he is currently in a phase where his dating choices are being influenced by friends, schoolmates, and work colleagues.
And, unfortunately, it seems likely that
Pulling It All Together
The Navidaters
Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists
Dear Barbara and David, Clearly, this is an upsetting situation to find yourselves in. It seems that you have raised Natan with values that do not align with his desire for the surface level things in life that are his primary focus right now as he begins to date.
The very first thing I want to reflect upon is the “end of the day” bottom line. At the end of the day, the bottom line is that at 24 years old, there is not much that you can do in the way of changing Natan’s priorities. This is one of those things that we as parents are better off accepting and surrendering to the notion that, ultimately, we are simply not in control. All that the worrying and trying to convince and teach and show is meaningless if Natan does not want to change. At
24, Natan is ultimately going to be making his own decisions.
Some parents choose to engage in the battle – crying, begging, convincing, trying to get someone to talk sense into him... I am knocking or discarding these attempts or telling you not to make them, only expressing the truth which is that we cannot bring about change that someone does not want to make for himself.
Empower yourself with the knowledge that Natan is responsible for his own choices...sometimes sharing that message in a loving way with our children is the best bet to help them see a different path. In other words, if he marries for money and status, there is a whole potential constellation of control and dynamics
many are advising him, “Marry a girl with a Ph.D. – Pop has dough.”
Furthermore, he has surely discovered that in the world of Orthodox singles, it is much more difficult for young women than for young men. In many respects, it is clearly a “man’s world,” and he has consequently come to believe that that this is his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to gain entry into a more affluent lifestyle.
The Future
You still can help your son re-focus his dating outlook by reminding him that if he does marry a girl from a richer, more prestigious family, he faces a lifetime of being dominated by and “guided” by his in-laws.
And, you can remind him that a girl from a wealthy family can be very high maintenance and expect him to support her in the style to which she’s become accustomed.
Moreover, a good friend of mine pointed out, your son may discover,
Empower yourself with the knowledge that Natan is responsible for his own choices.
much to his chagrin, that wealthy parents are very reluctant to let their daughters date boys from more humble backgrounds. Oftentimes, wealthy parents are very wary of singles whom they might perceive as gold-diggers or social climbers.
The Warning Marrying into wealth may grant a grander address, Yet often comes along with a greater share of stress.
and potentially not being happy with his chosen person, and he is the one who will have to live that life.
The other thing I think worth mentioning is that it has become nearly impossible for young adults to support themselves in this economy. Have you had a conversation with Natan around this? How does he plan on supporting himself and a wife? Does he have the ability to? Does he feel that he can’t do it himself? Does he have any understandable fears around this? This may be part of why he is so attracted to the money... and I get that. Is there a deeper motivation here other than status and flash?
If Natan is open to it, you can try to get others involved. Does Natan have a rebbe he is close with? A mentor, perhaps? Perhaps someone for whom such a marriage did not work out. You can also offer Natan the gift of therapy to help him explore his vision of what a marriage is and to help him examine his
values and where they be stemming from. Ultimately, as we all know, some people are very obsessed with gashmius and want to live that life. I know many people who will not entertain dating someone who is not from a certain family or has a certain level of wealth or status. He may find a lovely young woman from such a family, that is always a possibility as well. Other than connecting him with wise counsel and therapy and keeping an open dialogue with him, I ’m not sure what you can do to effectively handle this. Handling this connotes that you can potentially make him change his ways. But the only one who can change his ways is Natan, if he wants to. And I sure hope he does, because as beautiful as a big house is, and lavish trips, and being part of a chashuv family, there is usually a price to pay when young adults are supported in this way.
Sincerely, Jennifer
Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.
Atoddler melts down in the grocery store, and the parent swoops in.
A parent quickly steps in between two fighting children and separates them.
The parent immediately removes the marker from the child’s hand, replacing it with a wet washcloth, and directs the child to remove the mural from the wall.
The parent in the above fictional –but too real – scenarios quickly and efficiently addresses each concern as it arose. The parent deals with each situation as it occurs and is on top of the home environment.
At first glance, we could say that each of those situations was addressed ideally. The question is, “Could they have been handled differently?” Depending on the exact circumstances, the answer is a loud “yes.”
Let’s take another look at the beginning examples, this time adding more context.
Recognizing the toddler was approaching nap time and likely to meltdown, the parent quickly finishes the shopping and brings the little one home. Perhaps the parent delays the trip until after naptime.
Noticing there is only one ice cream bar left, the parent anticipates a fight
Parenting Pearls Thinking Ahead
By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
and asks the children to divide it up before any aggression begins.
Knowing the little one enjoys coloring on walls, the parent keeps markers out of reach and only purchases the super-washable ones.
As opposed to the initial reactive parenting, the latter examples demonstrate proactive parenting. Rather than reacting to a situation that is already happening, the parent anticipates and prevents the mess from ever starting. Going back to our initial examples, this doesn’t mean the fictional parent handled the situations poorly; the question is if it could have been prevented.
Not everything can be prevented, but, when possible, it’s far more effective to prevent a negative situation than clean up the mess afterwards. Similarly, we know it’s much easier to keep a child away from a sick friend than it is to let the children play together and deal with a sick child later.
Parents often find they are disciplining the same negative behaviors repeatedly because kids tend to repeat the same behaviors – both positive and negative. We can anticipate their response based on previous patterns. Knowing our child’s past behavior is a powerful indicator of their future actions. This does not mean children can’t mature
and improve. Children are continuously learning and growing – that’s why adults (formerly children) don’t smack each other in the grocery store, throw down their cereal in anger, or color on their shirts with permanent markers. But change doesn’t happen overnight, and it will take many mistakes and years of growth.
Triggers
While each child and situation is unique, there are certain common triggers – both physical and emotional –that inevitably lead to negative behaviors. Being conscious of these triggers can prevent much parental misery.
Food and drink are a basic biological necessity. We don’t have to go too long into a fast day to recognize this limitation of our bodies. Besides being mandatory for continued life, hungry children don’t act properly. They can tantrum, scream, act aggressively, and overall be unpleasant. Making sure children have meals and snacks is the best way to ensure they don’t get triggered by hunger. Keeping a filled water bottle for trips (or even at home) will keep them hydrated. Kids may need reminders to drink, and parents of picky eaters should be mindful to make sure children are actually ingesting food.
Exhaustion is a tough competitor to hunger when it comes to naming “the top trigger.” Tired children can’t control their behavior and will go into full blown “irrational mode.” Children need adequate sleep at night; little ones require naps during the day, too. Your child’s healthcare provider can give you guidelines for appropriate amounts of rest.
We know youngsters are prone to meltdowns when a nap is even slightly delayed, but teens underestimate the amount of sleep their growing bodies need. Late bedtime before early school hours are a terrible combination, and erratic sleep schedules wreak havoc on their bodies.
Kids aren’t the only ones that can get cranky, meltdown or act poorly from lack of nutrition or sleep. Parents, too, can act inappropriately if they don’t take care of themselves. Many parents will make sure their child has everything necessary but will ignore their own needs. Taking care of yourself gives your child the optimal parent.
Jealousy and competitiveness are major childhood triggers. “Yanky got a bigger piece of cake than me” is a famous Marvelous Middos Machine line for good reason. Children are continuously measuring what they have against others – especially their siblings. “Is his
piece bigger?” “Did she get more frosting?” “Yes, but she has more pink frosting, not only chocolate.” “Why didn’t I get a sweatshirt, too?” Everything is weighed with scientific precision, and anything can be a source of contention. If not for the frustration it causes, we’d actually find some of their arguments funny.
Competitiveness among siblings is legendary. They want the front seat in the car or the best chair at the dining room table (even if they’re all identical). The child that starts to lose the game suddenly upturns the board or accuses the other of cheating. They can fight over who gets something first, and if it wasn’t them, then they remember who got it first two months ago. Their brains are like running scorecards.
“Because it’s there.” This may sound silly to an adult, but kids are triggered to do a behavior just by something being there. If they see scissors, they will cut something. If they find a marker, they will color. If chocolate cake is sitting
limitations into account when trying to predict a child’s behavior.
These are some of the more common triggers, but only by observing your child and their patterns can you recog-
Let’s take an example of two children fighting over Yanky’s cake. The first step is to recognize that your child gets upset if his or her piece is perceived as too small. With this awareness, you create
Knowing how to react to a child’s actions is an important parenting skill, but learning how to prevent problems can go a long way towards family harmony and sanity.
nize what precautions are necessary to proactively parent that child.
Being Proactive
There are a few steps to proactive parenting. The first is to recognize your child’s pattern. With that knowledge, you
a game plan, such as having one child divide the beloved cake and the other pick their piece first. The final step is to remind them, “One divides the cake and the other picks their piece first,” when you have only one piece remaining. If all goes well, you will avoid the fight.
because younger kids are incapable of such neat eating.
Part of being proactive is being present and having a general awareness of what’s going on within the home environment. Usually this doesn’t require always being in the room, but if two children tend to have friction, they may require a parent within close proximity. This is similar to being present if you know one child tends to push or hit the toddler. Being proactive means recognizing those children need extra observation.
Knowing how to react to a child’s actions is an important parenting skill, but learning how to prevent problems can go a long way towards family harmony and sanity. May Hashem give us the insights we need and the wisdom to use them properly. Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Sara
Rayvych,
MSEd,
has her master’s in
School of Thought
Ulpan
By Barbara Deutsch
We wanted to do what we thought would be a simple thing: subscribe to the weekend edition of The Jerusalem Post. I searched online for the right link that would enable me to complete the form for subscription; there were numerous options to explore. All of them turned out to be dead ends.
Even the listed phone numbers were a bust.
I finally hit upon a link that proved promising; sadly, my success was shortlived. After filling in all of the necessary information to get the weekend edition delivered to my new home, a final step popped up; I was asked to pick a magazine as a bonus offer. After 20 futile minutes of trying to do just that – I was willing to subscribe to anything at that point to close the transaction – I gave up and tried one more time to call.
Keep in mind that this is The Jerusalem Post, an English language newspaper. The number connected, a first for me in Israel, but it rang and rang for a long while before someone finally picked up; we take joy in small victories wherever we can get them. “Shalom, this is the Jerusalem Post Company. How can I help you?”
I begin by thanking the woman for answering the phone, and I proceed to explain in English that I want to subscribe and have not been able to make any connection through the internet. I am met with deep silence followed by a heavy Hebrew/limited English response: “I don’t understand you, please, Hebrew.”
People who want to make aliyah take note, you will thank me for this hint: Never press the number that directs you to an English speaker. No Israeli office worker will pick up when that button lights up; plus, there is maybe one person who actually speaks English well enough on staff.
I can do this, I think; I have two solid weeks of Ulpan Level Beit and a lifetime of exposure to Yeshivah education (the “h” is a shout out to the Yeshivah of Flatbush, where my kids and their friends actually did learn Hebrew) where I have worked as
an educational professional and studied as a young student, under my belt.
I proceed to explain as best I can that I am a recent oleh (my trump card), and I want to order a weekend subscription to the paper. The woman asks for my teudat zehut number; every Israeli has one and if you can’t remember/memorize the number or you don’t have your card with you at all times, you may as well move back to where you came from because you do not exist.
She also wanted my phone number; a story too sad to share before Shabbat.
“I don’t have a file for you!”
I respond that I am well aware, “I don’t know” is a response that I am fluent in all of the three languages I speak, some better than others.
Frustrated, the receptionist, who is by now wondering why she had the misfortune of answering the call, takes my phone number (best believe that doing that was also not as simple as needing a pen) with the promise that “someone” will call me back later that day when English speakers are available.
He called. We now may or may not have a host of papers: the weekend subscription, an easy Hebrew language edition and a monthly magazine about Jews who are not blessed to live here. Since it took me several attempts at spelling my difficult-for-everyone-to-spell English last name in both Hebrew and English and to additionally articulate letter by letter my email address (four times), I won’t believe it will actually arrive until I actually get the paper in my hands. He promised next week.
Then it’s chag
This is exactly why I am in Ulpan. There is an ongoing machloket in the Anglo Israeli community as to the importance of learning Ivrit at all. Anglos of all stripes mix with each other in English-speaking social settings, live in Anglo heavy communities, and expect, right or wrong, for everyone to speak or at the very least understand English. Truth be told, most Anglos, myself included, sound like they are speaking English even while
trying to communicate in Hebrew.
Most Anglos’ grammar is pitiful. I will never ever understand the gender, male / female, designations for nouns. I have been told that some words are female and most are male. When in doubt, the word is male.
Ironically, there was a 50/50 split on whether I should stick with it or leave Ulpan when I asked last week.
When I started Esther Schoenfeld Yeshiva High School on the Lower East Side, an hour’s ride on a city bus from my home in East Flatbush, as a young teen, the powers that know these things put me in the Gimmel Class. I don’t test well, especially on standardized ones, so I was not surprised to be placed in a class that was well below my actual abilities.
The same thing has now happened with my level placement in Ulpan. The very kind and serious program director, Hadassa, listened to me talk in my broken grammar for about five minutes, asked me how many times a week I was willing to devote to sitting for 5 hours with a 20 minute recess break, and promptly placed me in Level Beit.
I was willing to devote, for what for me is torture, two times a week.
When I began my Level 3 high school journey, my teachers soon figured out that my “troublemaker self” was in the wrong class and my acting out behaviors were triggered by boredom. They recommended that I move “up.” Our eminent and very savvy principal, afraid of losing staff, convinced me to move to Level 2; Level 1 was filled with geniuses and the daughters of prominent Jewish leaders and rabbis, and the teacher only knew how to control compliant and studious students.
In the two weeks I spent in Level 2, it became clear to me that this level had some equally brilliant girls, 10 times the amount of homework, and morot who did not appreciate my charm or sense of humor.
I was out of there. I promised the Level 3 teacher I would do better and behave. Anyone who knows me from those high school days knows where my abilities as a
strong educational leader found its source.
As I figured myself out, I realized the huge mistake of my decision to give up on myself. Torah learning opportunities were lost; there never again will be a time where I would be able to study without responsibility to a family and a profession. There were serious scholars and brilliant teachers who taught at Esther Schoenfeld High School for Girls. I blew it.
That is why when we bumped into Hadassa of the Ulpan waiting for the bus, I took it as a sign to tell her that I needed to push myself harder and try my luck in Level Gimmel Ulpan. If I was going to spend hours in a classroom, I might as well make the most of my time.
Someday, I may even get something of mine printed in The Jerusalem Post – in English or the easy-to-understand Hebrew edition? This kind of edition exists, and I can dream.
In the weeks and days before Rosh Hashana, we think and talk about accountability and forgiveness. I will never be able to make up for the time I have wasted, but I can do something with the time I have been gifted in this best place that I have ever lived.
Maybe Ulpan will grow on me. It’s only nine months till it’s over in June.
Barbara Deutsch is the former associate principal at HANC, middle school principal at Kushner, and Dean of Students at Yeshiva of Flatbush. A not-retired educator, she is trying to figure out life in Israel through reflections on navigating the dream of aliyah as a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and friend.
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Adirah, 2
Chaya Leah Marizan, 6
Lila Abramson, 3
Ariella Marizan, 4
Avinoam B., 7
Azi Loewenthal, 8
Ayelet, 7 & Moshe, 3
Avi S., 6
Elon S., 8
Eden S., 4
Atara Ament, 9
Ariella, 4
Note: Not all submission have been published. Keep sending in your artwork for another chance to be featured!
I visited my parents in Sydney, Australia, this past summer, and my dad made me some lamb chops, my absolute favorite food. I wanted to make his recipe when I came home and serve it to our family for the chagim. You can ask your butcher to prepare the double-cut chops for you or use regular and just bake it for less time.
Ingredients
◦ 8 pieces double-cut lamb chops
◦ ½ cup olive oil
◦ ½ cup honey
◦ Handful of fresh mint
◦ Kosher salt
◦ Crushed black pepper
Preparation
1. In a medium bowl, mix oil, mint and honey along with some salt and pepper. Marinate the lamb in the mixture for an hour.
2. Take a large sauté pan and make it screaming hot. Sear each piece of lamb on both sides for about 2 minutes. Place each piece in an oven-to-table dish.
3. Preheat oven to 400°F.
4. When all the chops are seared, place them into the oven for 15 minutes.
5. You can eat them as a double cut or slice them through. I like them pink in the middle but you can for sure get them a bit darker. I hope you’ll love them as much as I do.
Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.
