2017 IS HERE, IT'S TIME TO GET BRAVE...
The Raven BRONX ACADEMY OF LETTERS OFFICIAL MAGAZINE
THE AN
E U S S I S ONYMOU
T ON U O K A E P ERS S T I R W L A Â B OPICS T T L U C I DIFF
+ AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF LOVE WITH WRITERS FORUM POET GABRIEL RAMIREZ
WHEN I DARE TO BE POWERFUL, TO USE MY STRENGTH IN THE SERVICE OF MY VISION, THEN IT BECOMES LESS AND LESS IMPORTANT WHETHER I AM AFRAID. - AUDRE LORDE
THE ANON ISSUE Each article in this issue has been written anonymously. Read the EdItor's Note to discover why we've made this choice. Please note: all names have been changed throughout this issue.
editor's note
Guys, it’s 2017! What’s up, BAL?
Candice 4
CANDICE ILOH EDITOR IN CHIEF
the raven EDITOR IN CHIEF / CANDICE ILOH ART DIRECTOR / WRITER IN RESIDENCE / CAITS MEISSNER EXECUTIVE PRODUCER / PRINCIPAL / BRANDON CARDET-HERNANDEZ STAFF WRITERS / THE RAVEN ELECTIVE CLASS
DUE TO THE ANONYMOUS NATURE OF THIS ISSUE, THERE IS NO TABLE OF CONTENTS. WE INVITE YOU TO FLIP THROUGH TO DISCOVER PIECES ABOUT: FIGHTING / LOVE / BULLYING / SELF ESTEEM / PREGNANCY / ABORTION / JAIL / VIOLENCE / DATING / IMMIGRATION / ABUSE / SEX / SELF LOVE / STEALING / OVERCOMING / MENTORSHIP / SCHOOL / LIFE LESSONS / PHYSICALITY / FRIENDSHIP AND MORE... PLEASE READ WITH AN OPEN MIND AND HEART.
contact us Bronx Academy of Letters 339 Morris Avenue Bronx, NY 10451
www.bronxletters.org 5
THIS IS
GONNA
HURT
So I’m sitting in the classroom doing my work like always.
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I wished I Just fell down and stayed down, and maybe the pain would have gone away, but it didn't.
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I Thought She Was Perfect I was 13. My sister decided to get married on the sly.
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How Bail Stood Between Me and My Brother
It was December 22th 2014. Around 8pm, me and my brother were chillin’ in front of my building with five of my friends. He told me he’d be right back. That he had to go take care of something. I told him to stop playing and not to do something stupid that he’d regret. That he better not be lying to me. 10
A few moments later I heard gunshots coming from where my brother was headed so I quickly rushed over. While I was on my way I heard six cop cars rush by me heading in the direction I was walking. I don't know why I had this really bad feeling that it was my brother.
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Was That A Joke? There had been constant talk about him going to another school and moving either closer to me or a little farther away. If he moved further away then that meant that I would rarely see him. When the school year was ending, he went to a relative's who lived in North Carolina. He didn't exactly say when he was coming back so I asked him.
When I asked him he responded:
HIM: I'm never coming back, we’re breaking up ME: seriously? HIM: yes ME: no... y HIM: we just can't be together, you need to move on Me: no HIM: I'm sorry if you don't accept this ima block you, do you understand ME: not completely Him: are you ok Me: … HIM: I'm sorry goodbye ME: could you give me a legit reason HIM: you just don't make me smile anymore, I don't like being with you, you make me sick
After all that he said he was joking.
But I guess I couldn't be much help when I needed help myself.
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I Hated Myself
I was just five years old when my father came up with the bright idea to move to the United States.
It was hard for me to try and fit in because of my unmistakeable appearance and heavy accent that just wouldn’t go away no matter how bad I wanted it to.
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Now, when I express myself I allow people see more than just the surface. I used to think that my appearance was all that mattered. But now I know that there’s more than that. It’s okay for me to not fit in. I've been taught how to love myself and embrace
I found it hard to comprehend a world where someone didn’t like me. I thought that the world was a happier place.
who I am. 15
He Acts Like Nothing Ever Happened
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the block is hot I’M FROM WALTON. WHERE I’VE BEEN LIVING FOR A WHILE NOW. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T THINK I’M SAFE ANYMORE.
WE TRIED TO TELL OURSELVES IT WAS JUST FIREWORKS,BUT THAT WASN'T THE CASE AT ALL.
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Life before this tragic incident was calm and peaceful. All people did on my block was play ball and a lot of people were nice at it too. We all used to roam the streets as if we owned this territory—like no one could touch us. That was just the vibe. But things haven't been the same. Now there are some people who don't even talk to each other like that anymore. Because everyone has lost their trust in people. There are very bad people in this world. A lot of the the good get killed. It’s sad because people don't even feel like leaving their homes anymore. They’re scared. It sucks not knowing why they did it. Also not knowing who did it. Now no one can be trusted. Whenever you're on the block you always have to watch your back. It's about not being at the wrong place at the wrong time. People don't care who you are. You can’t assume that you’re always safe. You can never grind without people hating or being jealous. In my hood people are being brought down by others. By people who are already in the bottom. So now I always watch my back and keep my eyes open. Because I know that anywhere and at whatever time my block could become hot in an instant. 21
New mentality: who’s this? I never knew how important appearances were until I was in the ninth grade.
All of a sudden I heard one girl yell “Oh my god! Why do you sound like that?!”
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I loved myself.
I don’t want to live a depressed life. I want to be happy because I deserve to live a happy life. I’m a good person.
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WATCH YO' BACK ... PACK
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The Hard Way My mom got a call one day from my uncle who lived in Puerto Rico. She told me that my grandfather wasn’t doing so well and asked her and my aunt if they can fly over to help for a few weeks.
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To this day I still feel embarrassed about the way I let myself slip, given the way my parents and everyone else believed I was a saint—a child with no behavioral issues that always listened and did his work. Proved them wrong that year didn’t I?
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I CAN'T BREATHE
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Before this my body seemed normal. I was fun and outspoken and I didn’t need to take care of my health as much. I didn’t go to the hospital not once until that day and my parents were less protective of me. I went to beaches and pools more often without having to be careful of my condition or worry about anyone else. I was able to go outside freely without my parents worrying so much.
Two years ago I was waiting at a subway station on my way home from school. As I waited for the train to get to my stop I started to smell how awful this Brooklyn station smelled and it made me sick.
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I LOVE MYSELF! AN INTERVIEW WITH POET GABRIEL RAMIREZ BY JASHERAH NALLS The goal of the Writers Forum we have at our wonderful school is to have a person that is known for what he does (writing] in New York) — and WHO is climbing the ladder of success — to talk TO us about their experiences and knowledge, and how they started their independent walk to find their calling. Gabriel Ramirez is a poet that came to visit us in November to perform and share his achievements and struggles. when he was our age, he participated in a youth poetry event called “Brave New Voices,” and he was the Knicks Poetry Slam Champion. This interview would have never happened if it wasn't for Ms. Caits.
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How do you think your work influences things politically?
How does your work influence you personally?
How did you get into poetry and how did you decide to pursue it?
I just wanna marry the writing and the performance of poetry together, and let my work speak for itself. 33
What is it like being a young poet in a world full of artists trying to succeed?
4. How do you define success? There's enough shine for everyone in this world. The world is huge so there's enough space for all of us.
how do you define success?
it is important that we block out those negative voices and focus on the positive, and do what's best for ourselves. It sounds selfish, but if you aren't healthy or if you aren't feeling well or if you can't be present at the end of the day, you need to do what you have to do to take care of yourself so you can be — and be there for others.
fun facts What advice would you give to the students of Bronx letters
If you could describe yourself in one sentence what would it be? I am someone who loves the fight and knows when to make time for healing. What college did you go to... if you went to a college? I did not go to college. i'm 22 years old. I had just graduated high school last year in the summer of 2015 from west side high, which is an alternative school. at some point, I will be applying to an MFA program, which is a master of fine art, to pursue my degree in poetry... so that I could become a professor at some point at other campuses or college and teach poetry around the world. Do you have a favorite poem? I have a lot of favorite poems. one of them is "A Litany for Survival" by Audre Lorde . another one is "Someday I'll Love ocean vuong," written by Ocean Vuong. and "The Negro Speaks of Rivers" by Langston Hughes. I can go on for days and days, but they're out there. they exist and I'm grateful. what are your favorite colors? Even though my hair is red, my favorite color is black.
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sorry for the inconvenience
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The Loner... Continued By Jasherah Nalls
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ABOUT OURÂ
Writer in Residence Program For 14 years, Bronx Academy of Letters has hosted a vibrant Writer in Residence program. Underscoring the importance of literacy and writing, the Writer In Residence program leverages the expertise of working authors to bring an authentic contemporary writing experience to all students. Â Through elective classes, students sparked by writing dive deep in the art forms of poetry and nonfiction, creating The Raven and One Pen, our news/magazine and literary journal publications. All students are served by our Writers Forum, which brings professional authors five times per year for rich assembly experiences. Students are offered opportunities to connect to the writing world beyond school, meeting with special guests, attending field trips such as the National Book Awards, and submitting to contests.
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