Bamboo Magazine - Conscious Family Living

f a l l 2011

the bounty of fall

Conscious Close-Up with Christy Turlington Burns

The ABCs of Alternative Education Exploring the Growing Trend of Non-Traditional Approaches to Wisdom and Understanding

Celebrating the Spirit of All Hallows’ Eve & Dia de los Muertos

Mayim Bialik on Homeschooling

Kristin Cruz Talks with Jewel precious mama

also: food swaps building cupboards + community tuned in fostering a consciousness of gratitude in children bamboo baby nurturing the breastfeeding relationship konscious kids easing school anxiety

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from the editors

notes ‘Tis the season to be grateful!

Welcome to the fall edition of Bamboo Magazine! We are so thankful to all of our amazing contributors for helping us create a wonderful issue full of information, reflection, heartfelt goodness, celebration and fun. This, our third edition, is meant to be savored slowly throughout the season; take a glimpse into the depths of the pages and then keep coming back to browse through at your leisure.

photo: andrea taylor

We are thrilled to share with you features on alternative education, the importance of family rhythms, Hallows’ Eve, food swaps and more. We have also compiled a diverse range of columns and articles: Grandmother Wisdom discusses storytelling with elders; Peaceful Parenting introduces the No-Fault Zone as a tool for resolving conflict; Bamboo Décor celebrates salvaged materials repurposed for the home; Bamboo Baby focuses on the breastfeeding relationship; Farmers Rock relishes in butter-making with kids; In Reflection inspires with a personal piece on open adoption; Konscious Kids aims to help children ease school anxiety; and as always we have some delightful craft tutorials.

We also speak with Christy Turlington Burns about her work focusing on maternal and child health; actress Mayim Bialik on homeschooling; and radio personality Kristin Cruz speaks with singer-songwriter Jewel.

So, relax with a cup of cider or tea in a cozy chair and celebrate the spirit of autumn with Bamboo!

With much gratitude, Ashley and Anni

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fall bamboo features 4 The ABCs of Alternative Education &

Mayim Bialik Interview

exploring the growing trend of non- traditional approaches to wisdom and understanding

- Avital Norman Nathman

46 All Hallows’ Eve

-Tanya McAllister

56 Dia de los Muertos

celebrating the day of the dead

- Tnah Louise

60 Family Rhythms

a powerful way to simplify discipline

- Andrea Danneker, M.A.

68 How Kindergarten Changed

Our Lives

- Paige Loter

a homeschooling journey

156 Precious Mama

kristin cruz chats with jewel

167 Postpartum Sex

enhancing parenthood with couplehood

- Ana Paula Markel

in this issue photo: jatawny m chatmon

20 bamboo baby

the breastfeeding relationship

24 peaceful parenting

the no-fault zone: welcome conflict in

30 conscious close-up

with christy turlington burns

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giving thanks

66 grandmother wisdom

autumn: the perfect time for grandparenting

72 konscious kids

easing school anxiety

the team

76 in anni’s conscious kitchen

editors: ashley ess & anni daulter

86 farmers rock

Design & Layout: Christine Knudsen Cover Photo: Irene Suchocki Product Guru: Rachel Myers

food swaps

making butter, making memories

90 home, naturally

building a natural home medicine cabinet

94 repurpose this + that

the moore family folk art

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106

root + stem gratitude banner + freezer paper t-shirt printing

shoots + leaves juney bloom + dandelion dream

122

hand-picked

the original tree swing shop

126

bamboo dĂŠcor

140

146

148

154

158

170

furniture from salvaged materials

show + tell favorite products for fall,family and baby

fall editorial contributors: Mary Atkinson Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser Kristin Cruz Andrea Danneker, M.A. Anni Daulter Tim Daulter Ashley Ess Chrsity Funk Sura Hart Laura Keegan Vanessa Nixon Klein, DiHom Christine Boos Knudsen Paige Loter Tnah Louise Ana Paula Markel Tanya McAllister Avital Norman Nathman Deidre Dowling Price Sarah Rees Nanci Shandera, Ph.D. Nicole Spring Erin Wallace Hannah Ruth Wilde

practicing happy

bamboo photographers:

harvesting joy

Rebecca Coyle Alexandra DeFurio Eva Lempert Tnah Louise JaTawny M. Chatmon Sara Pine Robyn S. Russell Andrea Taylor

eco beauty bar fall beauty trends at the health food store

bamboo book recommendations our favorites for the season

body, mind, spirit positive touch for children

For contributor info click here.

Contact us at: info@bamboofamilymag.com

in reflection a personal story on open adoption

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of Alternative Education Exploring the Growing Trend of Non-Traditional Approaches to Wisdom and Understanding

by Avital Norman Nathman A former teacher and lifetime learner, Avital Norman Nathman is a play-athome mama, freelance writer, wife and feminist (and not necessarily in that order). When not gardening, cooking or dancing around the house, you can catch her musing about motherhood and feminism at www.TheMamafesto.com.

Shel Tscherne was once a special education teacher eager to get into the classroom. Her enthusiasm, however, soon shifted to frustration. “I thought it was the perfect job. Little did I know the realities of what was going on in our public schools. It’s such a broken system, and the more I worked in the system, the more I did not agree with it. We as teachers get into the field to teach. To make a difference... Instead we are spending less time embracing the teachable moment and more time teaching to the test. Kids who are gifted

are more often than not left to fend for themselves, and the kids with behavior problems are more often sent to the principal.”

These thoughts echo the reality that teachers, parents and students alike face within the traditional public school model, especially as it relates to younger children. In fact, there is a growing frustration with a system that continues to stretch itself thin with budget cuts, the removal of art and music programs, high teacher turnover rates, and teaching towards standardized test goals. A recent “call to action” created by the National Association for the Education of Young Children discusses many of these issues and recommends a number of ways the current public school system can reform in order to meet the needs of young students.

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“Early childhood as a distinct period of life has value in itself as well as a foundation for later school, work, and life success. Yet we still lack the full polices and resources needed to create an education continuum, grounded in our knowledge of child development, that addresses appropriate standards, curricula, and assessments, along with specialized teacher professional preparation and support, and with comprehensive services for children and families. “ - NAEYC’s Call To Action for the 112th Congress

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photo: ginny sheller

Despite the solutions on the horizon, they may not be enough for some parents. As a teacher, Shel quickly became disenchanted with the system, but when her daughter Grace was born, her feelings became even more pronounced. She began thinking of what her alternative options were and realized quickly that homeschooling might be the perfect fit for them. “Little did we know, we were a homeschool family from the moment she was born. Everything we did was joyful and delightful, and we learned things, and we learned them together.”

Shel is not alone in her desire to find an educational choice that better meets her family’s needs than those provided by the public school system. In the past decade, there has been a steady rise in the number of families seeking alternate educational paths. As enrollment in public schools continues to rise, so has enrollment in alternative settings such as charter schools, private schools and homeschooling.

As interest in other options has grown, both the variety and accessibility of these choices has increased as well. Beyond traditional public schools, parents now have a wide variety of methods and philosophies to choose from, making it easier to find a path that fits best with their family’s need. For families who have differing educational philosophies, but still wish to have their children in classroomlike settings, there are a growing number

of schools to choose from, with the Montessori and Waldorf methods leading in popularity.

The first Montessori school was opened in 1907 by Dr. Maria Montessori in Italy.

Dr. Montessori translated her observation and research of children’s learning processes into an educational philosophy that has since expanded to over fourthousand schools in the United States, with approximately three-hundred that are publicly funded. Based on Dr. Montessori’s observation, classrooms are set up in a way where children learn at

their own pace from their own choice of activities. While most Montessori schools around the country are geared toward preschool and elementary-aged children, there are also junior high and high schools that follow the philosophy.

Students are grouped in three-year age groups within the classrooms (3-6,

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6-9, 9-12, etc...) with the idea that the classroom is also a community where older children can share knowledge with younger ones. Teachers are available to introduce new material, ensure that students are exposed to all the different choices, and help when needed.

Montessori emphasizes learning through all five senses, which is evident in the variety of work available for students to try out. Students might be learning the alphabet by tracing sandpaper letters, or they might choose to work on fine-motor coordination and self sufficiency by practicing real life skills such as pouring water into small cups and spooning small items from one container to another.

Becky Sumber, mother of four-year-

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old Maya, looked at a few options before finally settling on a local Montessori preschool in their hometown of Westchester, NY. “I feel that the Montessori method just makes a lot of sense to me,” explains Becky. “Allowing children to choose their own materials to work with, having mixed ages in classrooms, and not forcing kids to sit and listen to a teacher lecture intuitively seems like a better way of learning than traditional methods. I see it as nurturing the child’s own creativity and love for learning, instead of making school a drudgery that they must endure.”

After having Maya enrolled in the preschool for only a few months, the Sumbers were amazed to see how much more independent their daughter

photo: ginny sheller

became. “She is now eager to get herself dressed, go potty by herself, etc., whereas before, she seemed to be lacking some confidence with being independent. She’s at the age where she absorbs new information like a sponge, and we’re very happy with everything that she’s learning in preschool right now.”

Montessori preschools are becoming increasingly popular as new schools continue to open every year. While there is currently no way to limit the use of the “Montessori” name, ensuring the same program across the board, there are two main organizations that schools can affiliate themselves with: the Association Montessori Internationale (AMI) and the American Montessori Society (AMS). Parents interested in Montessori education should research the specific school they are interested in and make sure to ask about the school’s affiliation.

Like Montessori, Waldorfbased education also strives to create a curriculum that not only is developmentally appropriate for children, but also allows students to work in a tactile as well as intellectual way. Beyond those similarities, the two educational philosophies tend to differ.

Waldorf, which is based on the work of Austrian philosopher and scientist, Rudolph Steiner, uses imaginative play, art,

Waldorf classroom at River Valley Waldorf School

movement and imitation to impart lessons.

Waldorf not only stresses intellectual pursuits, but also the importance of nurturing feelings, moral nature, and individual willpower encapsulating their “head, heart and hands” motto. There is very little pushing to advance before the student is ready, making Waldorf a good fit for those whose children may have felt undue pressure in a traditional school setting.

mind, students are able to choose from a variety of activities, some distinctly academic, while others may not seem so at first glance. Despite the use of classrooms, Waldorf schools tend to model themselves more after the home environment than a traditional school setting. Activities such as meal preparation, knitting, and gardening are commonplace in Waldorf schools, with the goal of creating a well-rounded individual who has both academic and real world skills.

The goal of the preschool and kindergarten-aged classrooms is to inspire a sense of wonder through various activities like storytelling, puppetry, creative play and more. “The thing I love about Waldorf is the rhythms,” says Whitney Gersak, a mom from Lakewood, Ohio. What she’s referencing is the Waldorf concept of following the natural rhythm of the day. With this in

With these types of activities in mind, Whitney noticed how quickly her six-yearold daughter Lowen thrived. “The kids learn how to knit, which sounds crazy but is great for focus, hand and eye movement and relaxation, as well as learning to be proud of the things you do, doing something that results in a useful product. Stitch counting is math, pattern making is geometry, etc. The child

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photo: bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com

doesn’t have to learn that THIS IS MATH, they will just learn math. Waldorf makes learning so holistic.”

The number of Waldorf schools continues to grow, with almost a thousand schools worldwide, and is an education choice rising in popularity. Yet while some parents are able to send their children to private schools, there are other families that have to contend with the very real and important factor of tuition. A school year at a Montessori, Waldorf or similar private school can sometimes cost upwards of ten-thousand dollars, making them unattainable choices, even with scholarships or grants. One increasingly popular alternative is the charter school system, which allows for the creation of innovative schools that are federally and state funded.

Tonya Lemos, the mother of eight year old Zoe, is thankful that they were able to get into a local charter school near them in Western Massachusetts. “We are an alternative, artsy family, not really in sync with the local public school philosophy and can’t afford private school! Luckily for us the Hilltown Charter School worked best with my schooling philosophy, and we got lucky by getting in.”

This type of school operates under a charter that acts as a performance contract, outlining the school’s mission, program, goals, methods of assessment and more. Charter schools can be created by educators, parents, community members or even businesses who draft the charter school’s laws.

Despite not having to adhere to many regulations that apply to traditional public schools, they are still held accountable for the success of both the school and its students. Charter schools began gaining legal traction in the early 1990s, and have grown to a photo: ginny sheller

point where there are currently over 5,400 charter schools all across the US. There is also a variety of charter schools that can make them appealing to some families.

While some charter schools are similar to traditional public schools, most are run in creative and specialized ways. Some charter schools are language-based, such as Chinese immersion schools, while others may focus on art and music.

There are even some Montessori-based charter schools, allowing the alternative educational philosophy to be much more accessible. Due to their small class size, and specialty-focus, most charter schools have long waiting lists and operate on a lottery system in order to give everyone a fair chance of enrolling.

While alternative classroom settings like Waldorf, Montessori and charter schools work for some families, others choose yet another path: homeschooling.

Home-based learning, where parents choosing to educate their children within the home instead of in a more formal school setting, is not a new concept, but has seen a surge in numbers in recent years. Since 2008, estimates show that more than two million children are being homeschooled every year. With many homeschoolers turning to the internet for resources, it has become easier to find curriculum, resources and support only a click away. Between websites, online

forums, and even local organizations that come together via email listserves, homeschooling is no longer the isolating experience some still perceive it to be.

With the growing number of homeschooling families, the reasons for choosing this alternative path is just as large and varied. Some families homeschool for religious reasons, while others appreciate the ability to be in charge of their children’s education rather than leaving it to what they feel is a broken system.

Kelly Murphey, of Kennebunkport, Maine, felt that homeschooling her now eightyear-old son Caspian was a natural part of her role as a parent. “I believe that parenting is a personal responsibility, but in this society, one that many people shirk and pass off to schools, doctors, nannies, etc... instead of fully claiming it for themselves... I believe too many of our children (and parents) suffer as a result.” As a child, Kelly had a negative experience in public school, testing above average but struggling with grades. When it came time to Caspian, she decided that homeschooling was the best option for her family as a result.

While some homeschoolers choose to follow various curriculum that they have found online, others prefer a mixture of education within the home and in group

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settings with other homeschoolers. Others go one step further and ascribe to the more recent philosophy of “unschooling,” a curriculum-free philosophy that centers on allowing the child’s interests to influence what will be learned, and focuses on allowing children to learn from natural life experiences. This was what Kelly eventually decided worked best in her home, as unschooling fit both her and her son’s personalities. “Like me, my son is active and inquisitive. Like most kids, he’s not satisfied with pat answers to life’s many questions and always wants to follow his lines of query as far as they might take him.”

Shel Tscherne felt that unschooling worked best for her girls as well.

Combining aspects of Waldorf and unschooling, Shel hopes that her two daughters will benefit greatly from their educational choices. “Our whole reason for unschooling is that we want them to have a say in how they learn. We want them to choose their path. Our goal is to raise them to know that they do not have to settle for something just because it is the norm!”

While the methods vary, the goal of all of these parents was to find the right educational fit for their families. It can be overwhelming at first when faced with the decision to look outside the mainstream, and into all the alternative options now available. But there are ways to find an educational philosophy that meshes with your family. Make sure to do your research. Talk to friends who go to these schools or homeschool.

Visit these schools or spend a day with a homeschooling family. Overall, the most important thing is to make sure that you are comfortable and confident in whatever choice you make.

photo: Jennifer & Rick Tan, Syrendell www.syrendell.com

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To find more information on any of the alternative options mentioned, please check out the resources below: Montessori: www.montessori.edu This site provides a more in depth look at the Montessori method and its history, as well as the ability to search for local Montessori schools near you.

tos� of homeschooling and unschooling, by showing how parents and children can work together, but also goes offer legal, financial and practical advice for homeschoolers.

Secret of Childhood by Maria Montessori, Ballantine Press, 1982. Translated notes from the founder of Montessori. Offering insight into how to release the learning potential of a child.

Homeschooling Our Children, Unschooling Ourselves by Allison McKee, Bittersweet House, 2002. Using her own journey as example, author Allison McKee describes the ins and outs of unschooling, offering valuable advice along the way.

Waldorf: www.whywaldorfworks.org This site answers many questions parents might have about Waldorf education, and provides a database for affiliated schools around the country.

Seven Times The Sun: Guiding Your Child Through the Rhythms of the Day by Shea Darian, Gilead Press, 1999. A practical resource for creating rituals for your children surrounding the natural rhythm of the day.

Charter Schools: www.charterschoolcenter. org Learn more about charter schools across the country at this informative website.

Homeschooling/Unschooling: http://thepioneerwoman.com/ homeschooling Offering materials, advice and room for discussion, The Pioneer Woman, aka Ree Drummond, makes learning about homeschooling easy and accessible.

Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling by John Holt & Pat Ferenga, Da Capo Press, 2003. Holt & Ferenga not only delve into the “how

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Beyond the alternative educational methods discussed here, there are still a myriad of choices out there! Here are some helpful links to get you started: Reggio Emilia Schools: www.reggioalliance.org The North American Reggio Emilia Alliance not only answers questions regarding the education philosophy, but also contains a database of local schools, workshops & conferences.

Sudbury School Method: With a focus on democratic education, where students create their own curriculum, Sudbury schools opt out of conventional testing, evaluation, and transcripts. More information can be found at: http://sudburypress.com Cooperative preschools are popping up all over the country. Parents come together to organize and administer a co-op preschool or kindergarten that is staffed with hired teachers. For mire information and a directory of cooperative schools near you, check out: www.preschools.coop

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Mayim Bialik

Interview with Homeschooling Mama,

by Avital Norman Nathman Holistic Moms Network spokesperson and actress Mayim Bialik (Blossom, The Big Bang Theory) discusses the choice to homeschool her two sons, Miles (6) and Fred (3) and how it works for them.

“We were interested in potentially schooling through Waldorf, but started with the ‘Parent & Me’ as an introduction and possible way to meet other people and other like-minded people.

Ironically, one of the closest friends that our first son made in this class turned out to be a homeschooling family, that loved using this Waldorf ‘Parent & Me,’ but beyond that homeschooled.

And that’s, literally, how I started learning about homeschooling.”

wanted to respect. I think ultimately, we saw people in our community who had children that were inquisitive, were intelligent, were creative and seemed very well connected and bonded to their parents and to other children. And it was families like that that made us start seeing what the broad arena of homeschooling looks like. We had our own preconceived notions shattered as well.”

What lead you from Waldorf to come to the choice to homeschool your sons?

What does a typical day look like in your house?

“For every family there’re different things that contribute to the decision to homeschool, and then obviously once you homeschool, are you going to unschool? There are myriad choices for all these things. For us, the actual decision was partly financial ... the decision was partly about flexibility and really looking to appreciate the flexibility that homeschool allows for travel and both for the rhythm of the day, which we also

“There is no typical day! I could give you a typical week. A typical week ... for the school year, we have a community-wide park day for homeschoolers. Miles takes a French class, there’s sports as well at the park day and other classes as they get older. There’s a craft class, there are theater classes, there’s a Jedi class ... there’re a lot of classes offered at the park. So that happens one day a week. Then we have -- and keep in f a l l 2011 bamboo 17

What were those preconceived notions?

So, homeschooling wasn’t something that when you had your first son that you immediately “For sure, all the ones that people have, I had knew you were going to do? them too. Kids won’t be socialized, they’ll be bored, you’ll be bored with them, or you’ll be so “No, no, never! My husband and I both come consumed and obsessed with your kids that they from families that love and encourage the purwon’t be able to grow and thrive because you’ll suit of education, and higher degrees. We both need them more than they need you. I mean, I went to grad school, we believe in school. We’re had all these fears. To some extent, I still have very unlikely candidates, at least as far as I’m those fears. It’s a huge leap outside of mainconcerned ... to homeschool.” stream education to do what we’re doing.”

mind when I work my husband is with our boys full time so sometimes it’s him and sometimes it’s me -- a field trip one other day a week. The other three days are sort of up-in-the-air days.

We do errands, we do play at home. We do work around the house. We go on our own field trips, we go to museums or things around town. We try to have one home day, meaning a day where literally you stay in your pajamas and you don’t leave the house. We also have a scouting troop that meets once a month. So that is sort of what homeschooling looks like for us. We also have playdates with other kids other times of the week, but because we’re also Waldorf-y, we encourage a lot of home play, a lot of helping around the house, and we’re starting to get into some more hand crafts with our older son. They don’t watch TV, so that’s out, and they don’t play video games, so that’s out. Yeah, that’s life.”

On social interaction for her son...

“I should say that we’re blessed to have a large, thriving homeschool community, but we had to find it. We have to find opportunities for him to be socialized. I do still believe that a lot of living and growing, especially in these first seven years, is with parents and in small groups and seeing meaningful and purposeful work. That’s just a belief that I have... It’s definitely important. We have six friends for Miles that he sees regularly. When we’re on our larger field trips or homeschool days, one of the other things I also like about homeschooling, is he interacts with children of all ages. Our field trip group ranges from eleven year olds down to babies ... I like the old school house model of learning. I like that he interacts with older kids and younger kids. I think it’s a really neat way to learn about social dynamics and to grow up.

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What do you see as your long term education plan?

“We take it a year at a time. I have sought out people in our community with kids in junior high, kids in high school and kids who have started community college and have gone on to college who were homeschooled all the way through. I look to those people and I ask them what worked for them and I ask them how and why. There will be more structure. There already is more structure for Miles at almost six than there will be for Fred in this coming year. I believe in structure. I want my children to be able to do whatever they want. If they want to apply to medical school, if they want to go to college, I want them to be able to do those things. So, I feel like that’s my job, to guard their little souls and help them do everything they can in these years to have the world open to them. And you can do that in a homeschooling framework. And you can do that in an unschooling framework, I’ve seen it done.”

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The Breastfeeding Relationship: How Moms’ and Babies’ Innate Responses Physically Connect Them for Ideal Nursing “Technique”

by Laura Keegan Laura Keegan is the author of Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy, a speaker, and a Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP). She has been in clinical practice for over 25 years. She maintains a holistic solo private family practice in Dutchess County, NY, one hour north of NYC. She is married and has four children. Look for Laura’s article in our upcoming winter issue, with tips for preventing and solving beastfeeding problems.

As a practitioner, family member and friend, I have learned the most about what makes breastfeeding work, from watching mothers feed their babies. When moms are simply encouraged to get comfortable in any position that keeps their arms and shoulders relaxed, it allows them to hold their babies close, skin-to-skin. As a breastfeeding mom, learning to breastfeed was so much easier with my third and fourth children. I understood and followed my own babies’ innate movements to feed and I learned that, unlike a bottle-feeding baby, a breastfeeding baby’s mouth should not be centered over the nipple. I experienced the calming effect of keeping their bottoms close to my body as their heads moved in search of the breast, and the importance of giving them support with my hand at their shoulders so their heads could move freely when searching for and taking the breast. This understanding helped me whether I was feeding my baby while sitting up or lying down.

This closeness and comfort often naturally unfold at birth when moms and babies find their own way and babies feed for the first time. Whether moms birth standing, sitting or lying down; immediately afterward,

moms tend to get themselves into a restful position in bed and hold their babies against them. The mother’s body supports the baby’s weight, and she elevates her head and back enough so she can easily see her baby on her chest or belly. Her arms and hands are free to follow and support her baby. Most of the time, if the baby is put on the mother’s chest (skin-toskin, not wrapped like a burrito) within the first hour, the baby will instinctively begin “rooting” and searching for the mother’s breast.

The baby will be calmed as the mother follows and gently supports his natural movements in search of the breast, keeping him close to her and talking to him. The mother’s natural act of cradling her baby’s bottom and keeping it against her body makes him feel secure.

Supporting him with her hand at his shoulders gives his head enough room to move freely and take a deep mouthful of breast with ease. This early instinctive nursing sets the stage for an easier “learning curve” and more comfortable breastfeeding experience. (When mom keeps baby close, it is important that she not place her hand on the back of her

photos: copyright Laura Keegan, Breastfeeding with Comfort & Joy

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If for some reason the mother can’t hold the baby, the father can hold the baby skin-toskin, both for bonding and soothing as well as for warmth.

Even if the baby must be separated from the parents at birth, skin-toskin contact at any time is beneficial to baby’s head. If she does, she will see that breastfeeding he may turn to her thumb or fingers or and mothers can initiate a comfortable, push back on her hand, and her hand joyful breastfeeding relationship once can confine his head movement not they can be together. The skin is the allowing him room to extend his neck largest sense organ and, as such, skin so he can get contact allows the deepest mom and baby View this video of a premature baby mouthful of to fully tune into born at 27 weeks who is brought back breast possible.) each other and the to life when placed on mom’s chest feelings of closeness; skin to skin and took breastmilk from Whether a calming them both, her finger: baby is born allowing them to vaginally or by http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/ get comfortable Cesarean, skinyaunzpop/popup/?rn=240896&cl=215 and relaxed as they 90501&ch&src=y7tv to-skin contact respond to each can begin at other and breastfeed. birth unless there is a medical reason that prevents it.

When mom and baby have not Although this is not yet common practice experienced the joy of a satisfying feed in the typical American hospital, a at the breast, it can be frustrating and newborn can be placed on mom’s chest tense for both, and telling mom to “relax” at birth in the operating room during the will only create more tension. A frustrated operation. The World Health Organization mom often reads everything the baby recommends this practice and moms does near the breast as rejection. It is and babies given this uninterrupted important to remember that the baby contact at birth find it peaceful, wants to breastfeed and has reflexes that reassuring, and calming. are nature’s design to help him find the

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breast and feed. A calm baby, ready to feed has full use of his reflexes that make feeding easier. These reflexes are less readily apparent when a baby is upset and crying.

While being held, babies’ early signs of hunger include a lot of head movement, sometimes gently falling toward the breast but often bobbing their heads up and down, or throwing their heads to the side, often away from the person holding them whether it is the mother or someone else. Often a mother will interpret this characteristic head movement as a turning away or rejection of the breast when it is actually a searching for the breast. When the baby’s head movement makes his face momentarily lose contact with mom, he often cries because he searches for the breast by touch not by sight. Mom’s voice and her gentle guiding hand that keeps his

face touching her lightly will reassure him.

It is important for moms to know that a baby’s natural reflexes to search and take the breast to feed do not disappear if the baby has not been feeding at the breast for whatever reason, even if those feeds came from bottles. It is important that moms know this fact, so they do not feel breastfeeding is doomed to failure, if their babies have been bottle-feeding.

Avoiding bottles and artificial nipples, while establishing breastfeeding is helpful, but creating fear around bottles or other “rules” is not helpful.

When there are breastfeeding problems, I often tell mom to spend a weekend in bed with her baby with lots of skin-to-skin contact. Often the baby will root and search for the breast with this easy access when he is hungry. Mom can talk to him and gently keep him close as he searches for the breast. He may or may not take the breast the first time but will have multiple opportunities to breastfeed. Also, moms and babies are spending time skin-to-skin without always having the stress of an impending feed with uncertainty and tense expectations.

It is always good advice for moms to spend time skin-to-skin with their babies, even if breastfeeding is going well, because it promotes milk production, is restful and relaxing and keeps moms and babies together at a time when they both need to be close. The calming effects allow mom and baby to tune into their instincts which help the flow of the breastfeeding relationship and ease the transition that birth brings. The impact of skin-to-skin contact cannot be emphasized enough for its many benefits for mom and baby.

Moms and babies need the opportunity for this life giving and sustaining act. f a l l 2011

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peaceful parenting

Make Your Home a No-Fault Zone速:

Welcome Conflict In

by Sura Hart

Imagine feeling relaxed around conflict. Imagine feeling more curious than afraid when conflict shows up. Imagine that you and your family members are able to navigate conflict, without finger pointing, blaming or fault finding.

Imagine conflict becoming a path to greater understanding and connection in your family.

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If this seems far-fetched, more fantasy than possibility, you’re not alone. Most people are uncomfortable with conflict, dissatisfied with the way they handle conflict, and anxious even thinking about it. When I ask workshop participants how they feel about “conflict,” most say, “I feel anxious,” “I feel afraid,” “My chest tightens,” “My shoulders tense“ or “I want to run away.”

The fact is that most of us don’t know what to do with conflict. Past experiences have led us to believe that conflict is dangerous, and that engaging with it will make things worse. With this belief, it makes sense to try to avoid conflict, sweep it under the rug, change the subject. Trying to avoid conflict, however, does not make it go away. Most often, feelings intensify, resentments build and the same or bigger conflict resurfaces.

photo: robyn s. russell photography

Sura Hart is a certified trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication, coauthor of three books, and codirector of The No-Fault Zone. For more information about the No-Fault Zone approach, check out the book Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids and The No-Fault Zone Game, a fun way for families to work through conflict. www.thenofaultzone.com.

Past experiences don’t lie. The habitual reactions we’ve inherited do make conflict bigger, rather than help us work through it and learn from it. And tragically, these habitual responses to conflict perpetuate ongoing conflict and, all too often, a state of war—in families, in communities and among nations.

The good news is: we can change the way we think about and work with conflict so that it informs instead of inflames. Observing our own relationship to conflict and the habits that don’t work is the place to start.

One habit that predictably inflames and perpetuates conflict is finding fault. Imagine someone says this to you: “You’re so lazy; you never help out around the house.” Or, “Why are you acting so silly? What’s wrong with you?” Or, “It’s your fault we aren’t having

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any fun.” Or, “You’re making so much noise. It’s your fault I can’t get any work done.” How do you feel?

play. When we choose to look through the no-fault lens, we see past annoying behaviors (and our judgments about them) to the underlying human values and needs.

Do you want to work with the person who

What if you’re the one saying these things, or just thinking them? Do you feel relaxed, open to possibilities, interested in finding solutions? My guess is you’ll feel tense and resistant toward the other person and toward solutions that might work for both of you.

A powerful antidote to fault-finding is to choose to create a No-Fault Zone, within

What does this look like?

When children are acting “silly,” I can guess they are meeting a need for play and connection.

When I’m frustrated at doing the housework alone, I can tune into my need for support, ease, participation.

Instead of seeing my children as “lazy” or “inconsiderate” when they are doing something other than helping around the

A powerful antidote to fault-finding is to choose to create a No-Fault Zone, within yourself and within your home. yourself and within your home.

In a No-Fault Zone, instead of fault-finding and blaming, you choose to look at yourself and others through a no-fault lens, and see what is important to each of you.

A no-fault lens is supported by the premise of Nonviolent Communication®, that all behavior is motivated by important human needs. Some of the vital needs that are often present in family conflict are: understanding, respect, safety, trust, consideration, support, autonomy, and

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house, I can guess the needs they are trying to meet. Perhaps it’s play, autonomy, or understanding about my needs?

Seeing through the no-fault lens, we naturally feel compassion, for ourselves and for others. We also have new energy, interest, and hope for finding solutions that work for everyone.

If you want to create a No-Fault Zone in your home, the best place to start is with yourself, practicing with the no-fault lens.

photo: sara pine

is saying that? Or do you want to defend, attack or run away?

You have the power to change your habits. You can transform the way you work with conflict. And when you do, you will see that you are on your way to creating a No-Fault Zone in your home.

These five practices will help you create a No-Fault Zone: 1. Notice your habitual reactions when a conflict shows up. Notice blame and notice judgments, without judging yourself for having them.

2. Take a breath, and refrain from the old habit. Affirm: I want to see what’s important to each of us.

3. Look through the no-fault lens: Remind yourself that you and the other person have important needs right now.

4. Get curious about what the needs are. Ask yourself, “What is important to me about this?” And, “What could their needs be?” (Then make a

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guess.) Even if you don’t know what the needs are, just being aware that something vital and important lies behind whatever someone is saying or doing will move you into the No-Fault Zone. You can practice this move throughout your day, especially when you see someone doing something you don’t like. Remind yourself: They have an important need, and so do I. 5. Ask yourself the problem-solving question: “How can we work together to meet needs for everyone?” Even if you don’t yet see a great solution, this question will keep your heart open to everyone’s concerns and will guide you toward win-win outcomes.

Here is how these practices can apply to specific situations: Situation: You find yourself doing housework, by yourself.

• Notice judgments: They’re so inconsiderate. They don’t help with anything around the house • Take a breath and affirm: I want to see what’s important to each of us.

• Look through the no-fault lens: Focus on needs rather than fault.

• Get curious: What are the needs in this situation? My needs: support, clarity, time to relax. Their needs: Maybe they want understanding about why this is so important to me. Maybe they want understanding about why they’re doing what they are doing instead of helping out the way I want. And maybe they want to be seen “without fault.”

• Ask the problem-solving question: How can we work together to meet needs for everyone?

Situation: The children are making silly faces and noises and jumping around you. You feel exhausted and annoyed.

• Notice your thoughts and judgments: Why are they being so silly? What’s wrong with them?

• Take a breath and affirm: I want to see what’s important to each of us.

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• Look through the no-fault lens: Focus on needs rather than fault.

• Get curious: What are the needs in this situation? My needs: rest, ease, quiet, connection. Their needs: Maybe they have needs for fun, and connection.

• Ask the problem-solving question: How can we work together to meet needs for everyone?

Parents who take up this practice report feeling more comfortable and competent with conflict. If you take up this practice, I predict you will also notice more ease with conflict and increased capacity to listen, understand and find creative win-win solutions. And as you continue with your no-fault practice, your family will want to join you in creating a No-Fault Zone in your home, because it’s where everyone can feel safe, be understood, and have the most fun.

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conscious close-up with Christy Turlington-Burns

by Ashley Ess

by Anni Daulter

Christy Turlington Burns, Director/Producer of NO WOMAN, NO CRY, Founder of Every Mother Counts, global maternal health advocate, student of public health, and model. f a l l 2011

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I was thrilled to connect with Christy Turlington Burns to discuss the important work she is doing to spur change in global maternal and child health. Christy is easily recognizable as a successful model who has graced runways and the pages of popular magazines, posing for international ad campaigns and fashion spreads since she was a teenager. While she still models, today Christy leads quite a different life from the former jet-setting days in the fashion industry.

In the mid-1990s, Christy began venturing in a new direction -one that would lead her to play

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many different roles as student, health advocate, humanitarian, entrepreneur, author, wife, mother and yoga practioner.

Her longtime yoga practice has inspired her to author a book, Living Yoga: Creating a Life Practice (Hyperion, 2002); create her own lifestyle collection of clothing, Nuala; and launch an ayurvedic skin care line, Sundari. Yoga continues to inspire her and help connect her mind, body and spirit.

Christy developed a passion for health advocacy after losing her father to lung cancer, which subsequently led her to quit smoking at age 25. Christy’s passion for health advocacy can be evidenced in her service for

organizations such as CARE, (RED) and Stand Up to Cancer, among others. She is devoted to expanding awareness of the need for changes in health care for women and children on a global scale. Most recently, she has returned to school for a Masters of Public Health and has brought global maternal health to the forefront of her advocacy work. Christy has taken on the role of director and producer of “No Woman, No Cry,� a documentary which tells the stories of at-risk pregnant women in four countries around the world, and founder of Every Mother Counts, a campaign to increase awareness and support for maternal and child health.

The impetus for the Every Mother Counts campaign and “No Woman, No Cry” came when Christy learned that a shocking 500,000 women die per year during childbirth, many because of postpartum hemorrhaging, the same serious complication that she experienced after the birth of her first child. While Christy survived due to proper medical intervention, she realized that had she not had access to this

type of care she would have died. Knowing that 90% of these deaths could have been prevented with proper education as well as access to medical care and supportive individuals has motivated Christy to increase awareness and action in order to transform this disturbing statistic.

Christy is certainly passionate about making a difference for birthing women across the

How do you balance your family life with work, traveling and school? Does yoga and meditation continue to be at the forefront and is yoga a part of your children’s lives?

I strive for a healthy balance like many people but it’s not something that is always sustainable. There are too many moving parts in my life to expect any kind of consistency for too long. Yoga is very much a part of my daily practice and I think central to most everything I do. My children have had yoga in their lives since the womb and I have little doubt it is an integral part of who they each are.

Please tell us about your pregnancy and birth experiences.

I loved being pregnant both times, especially the first time because it was a new experience and at that point in my life I had so much time to dedicate to taking care of myself and my baby. Looking back, it seems such a luxury to have enjoyed that time period. As I mentioned, I practiced yoga throughout my pregnancies and yoga is what helped me to prepare for two unmedicated deliveries. I had a wonderful birth team, a doula and midwife. And yet, after having an ideal birth experience, I did not progress to the final stage of labor. Suddenly, I

globe. “No Woman, No Cry” and Every Mother Counts can truly be instrumental in changing the devastating statistics surrounding maternal and child health. Read on to learn more about this important film and her organization, and how Christy’s humanitarian efforts are inspiring individuals and helping to save lives.

went from feeling empowered to powerless and the backing OB was called in until the situation was under control. It was pretty scary and the closest I have ever come to fearing for my life.

What drove you to become an advocate for change in maternal health around the world?

In the months that followed my birth experience, I learned that my same complication contributes to one of the leading causes of maternal mortality worldwide- post partum hemorrhage. I learned that hundreds of thousands of women die every year from pregnancy-related causes. But I also learned that almost all of these deaths are preventable, which is why I chose to dedicate my time and resources to this cause.

What was the vision for No Woman, No Cry and how/why were the countries of Tanzania, Bangladesh, U.S. and Guatemala chosen?

I decided to make a documentary film about this issue after visiting a program in a region in Peru in 2007 where they had reduced maternal mortality in half in under five years. I was so inspired but what WAS possible with low cost

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solutions and wanted to share my experience with as many people as I possibly could. A documentary seemed the best way to reach a wide audience.

I wanted the film to show that this is a global tragedy so I chose four countries in four regions that I felt could best highlight the challenges girls and women face in accessing critical care during pregnancy. Sub-Saharan Africa has the highest burden, then Southeast Asia, and Latin America. So by choosing Tanzania, Bangladesh and Guatemala, I knew we could address many of the barriers but also highlight countries that also had some advantages that set them apart from neighboring countries. I also felt strongly about including the US, especially once I learned that we ranked so poorly amongst developed countries. When we made the film we were ranked 41st in the world and today we are ranked 50th, according to Amnesty International’s study called Deadly Deliveries.

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I also live in the US, gave birth in the US, and intended the film for a largely American audience.

You must have come across many inspiring individuals and evocative stories while shooting No Woman, No Cry and while traveling for Every Mother Counts. Are there any that stand out in your mind that you would like to share?

We have met countless girls and women, nurses, midwives, doctors who continue to provide inspiration for us daily. I have brought the film back to each of the countries to share it with the participants as well as the maternal, newborn, child health community in those countries -which was a goal from the start. Once you have been invited into the lives of families as we were, you are a part of one another’s lives forever, so we in close touch to most of the women and their families featured in the film.

There are many cultural differences between women throughout the world.

Some women are stigmatized by their pregnancies and told to stay home while others simply do not believe in giving birth outside the home. The cultural practice of giving birth at home where the mother is surrounded by women – family members, friends, neighbors -- is something that is not widely practiced or accepted here in the U.S. How does Every Mother Counts bring not only awareness to the cause but access to advanced medical assistance when necessary in such societies?

It is true that in many places in the world it is customary and also the norm to deliver at home. In too many places this also means a woman delivers without a trained provider by her side. In Bangladesh, as many as 91% of births occur outside of a facility. Personally, I advocate for meeting women where they are and providing services safely wherever that is.

In many countries there are not nearly enough physicians or facilities to attend to the populations they are serving, nor does every birth require one. But because 15 % of all births can result in a complication and there are not always ways to identify when these complications might occur, it is really critical to have qualified individuals in every community who are linked to facilities that are equipped to manage serious complications efficiently.

I imagine many who have viewed No Woman, No Cry have been inspired to help increase awareness of global maternal and newborn health. What ways can Every Mother Counts assist the average person who wants to take action?

Every Mother Counts was created as a resource for audiences who wanted to learn more about the challenges and solutions of maternal

health, but it has evolved into an action and mobilization campaign that provides a range of opportunities for people who want to engage in a number of meaningful ways. I believe that we all have a set of skills that can be useful to as universal a cause as this, and I encourage everyone to find a way to contribute that makes sense for the individual. The easiest and most important thins people can do is to share the stories and statistics with their friends and families. I also encourage anyone who has a voice to use it because so many millions of girls and women around the world do not have that ability.

What sort of impact has the film and your organization made so far? Has the film been shown throughout the world and did you find that audience reactions differed among the various societies?

Since premiering the film at the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival, I have been traveling with it around the world and it continues to be screened in many countries – about 13 countries at this point. It made its US television broadcast over Mother’s Day on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) and will be available on DVD early next year. I continue to screen the film at global health conferences, universities, medical schools and gender studies departments and in the capital and film festivals when opportunities present themselves. It feels very satisfying to have created such a useful tool for people to understand the scope of the problem and hopefully it will continue to humanize the statistics and help to keep the dialogue going on how to find sustainable solutions.

Are you hopeful that global maternal mortality rates, as well as U.S. policy, will improve now that No Woman, No Cry and Every Mother Counts have helped spur deeper discussion of the topic?

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The campaign is aligned with the Millennium Development Goals.

MDG 5’s goal is to improve maternal health and reduce maternal deaths by 3/4 by 2015. The aim for the campaign is to use the film as a platform for our advocacy efforts to help make as much of an impact as is possible by that time.

The reality is that there is no perfect, one-size-fits-all birthing situation as everyone gives birth differently. Even the mother who intends to give birth naturally may be faced with an unexpected complication. This does not mean a woman shouldn’t opt for natural childbirth, but in what ways can we support, for example, those who choose homebirth, yet still advocate for better maternal health policy and access to medical intervention?

Ultimately, this is a human rights issue. The declaration of human rights states that every life is of equal value and as such everyone has a right to healthcare. The fact that women in this country have a choice in the ways they can give birth is an incredible accomplishment. I support any informed choice a woman may opt for but I think there is not enough information about the risks of some options versus others.

We are currently at an alarming c-section rate in this country and it is beginning to have a serious impact on maternal mortality figures. The World Health Organization advises a 15% c-section rate and the US is at 33%. Birth has become a highly medicalized event which is not the answer to managing risk, in my opinion. There must be a middle path and better access to information before, during and after we give birth.

More information: Website/Twitter/Facebook: www.everymothercounts.org www.facebook.com/everymothercounts www.twitter.com/CTurlington www.twitter.com/everymomcounts Every Mother Counts PSA http://www.youtube.com/ everymothercounts#p/u/2/GiQJmv633Yw NO WOMAN, NO CRY trailer http://www.youtube.com/ everymothercounts#p/u/0/8F6hngJFGOk

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tuned in with ashley ess

Giving Thanks Fostering a Consciousness of Gratitude in Children

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photo: tnah louise

During autumn, the gifts of Earth’s bounty are revealed. Nature provides us with beauty and sustenance, and during this time we pause to give our thanks. As we move toward the darkness of winter which inspires inner reflection, we can focus on the beauty of each moment and realize what we are grateful for.

More than simply expressing a rote thank you, gratitude is something felt from within, an expression from one’s soul.

Naturally it is important to teach our children to say please and thank you, and to be courteous. But the essence of gratitude lies at the core of our being, our compassionate center. It is vitally important to help our children learn to

tap into that source within themselves, to recognize it, to engage it, so that “thank you” will have meaning beyond simple words.

Gratitude goes beyond being thankful for “things.” Thanksgiving tends to be one of the less-commercialized holidays, and for good reason. Unfortunately, many holidays have become so much about spending money on things we don’t need that our children often miss out on the history and important messages behind them. But Thanksgiving has retained its core message, though it sadly often wears off as the holiday season escalates. So how do we foster and extend this attitude of gratitude all year long? f a l l 2011

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A feastful of love. At your Thanksgiving table, place small, decorated cards at each setting with one guest’s name on it, face down. Before eating, have each person say why he/she is grateful for the person whose name is on the card. A twist on this (and especially fun for the kids) is to have each person say what they are grateful for in life, starting with each letter of the alphabet. Go around the table as many times as necessary to finish the entire alphabet. Children also experience the power of gratitude and compassion when they are involved in preparing the Thanksgiving feast and table, especially when there is a guest present who may not have a family to spend the holiday with.

We all know that this holiday is not about stuffing ourselves into oblivion. Rather, it is for being grateful for the food on our table, our guests, our friends and family and for everything else in our lives that sustains us.

Children learn by example. Very young children, in particular, mirror us and our habits.

It’s a good idea to model gratitude for them at every opportunity. Express thankyous to everyone you encounter, from the grocery bagger to the birthday gift giver to the friend who just did you a small favor.

Adding physical touch implants within your child the deep appreciation you are experiencing. Placing your hand on one’s arm or giving a hug after someone has done something for you may seem like simple, small gestures but they punctuate heartfelt gratitude. Be mindful of never demanding

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photo: jatawny m chatmon

that your child say thank you; your example and her growing understanding of appreciation will guide her toward her expressions of gratitude.

It is better to both give and receive. Help your

Many of us find joy when we give someone a gift or help a friend in need.

children learn how to really receive a gift or favor with wholehearted and graceful gratitude.

Many of us find joy when we give someone a gift or help a friend in need. No surprise there, as we are taught from a young age that it is better to give than receive. But have you considered the impact that mindfully and gracefully accepting a gift could have on your child’s sense of herself in relation to others?

When fostering gratitude in your child she will see the beauty in a simple gesture of gift-giving by realizing, “This person has done something nice in order to make me happy.” Gratitude exudes warmth from the soul, imbues compassion and creates inner happiness. It feeds the soul, which in turn nourishes the gift giver as well!

Giving thanks, naturally. Nature is all we’ve got. f a l l 2011

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Giving thanks, naturally.When it comes down to it, we simply wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the processes of nature. Sadly, in today’s high industrial and digital society, we take this fact for granted. We need to revere nature and appreciate its life-giving and sustaining forces. This can be merely spending time with your children in nature, allowing them to dig their toes in the earth and marvel at the height of a redwood, watching the sun’s rays glow between the branches. Teach them how indispensable nature is. Show them how to be grateful for the rain, the sun, the animals, the flowers. Explain to them that even the darker side of nature – inclement weather, poisonous animals and insects, volcanoes – also deserves respect. The ability to appreciate and respect nature is one of the most powerful duties we possess as humans. Have you seen a child’s illuminated expression when he is hugging a small tree or when he turns his face up toward the clouds to let the raindrops fall on his face? Gratitude for nature is deep-rooted in our being, just waiting for the opportunity to express itself.

Gratitude ingrained. There are myriad ways to make sure gratitude stays at the top of your family’s lists of habits, routines and rituals. Encourage your child to donate clothes and toys to those in need.

Strengthen your child’s own generosity by consciously allowing him to be involved in activities where others would be grateful for his help. Say simple blessings of gratitude at the dinner table or before bed every night. Inspire your child to keep a gratitude diary or journal; gratitude lists can be an effective way to refocus after an overwhelming day or tense situation.

In today’s digital world letter writing is a lost art, but imagine special how someone would feel if she received a letter of thanks in the post from a child who thoroughly enjoyed a farm visit, loved a gift or appreciated help on an important school project.

Giving your child chores and getting him involved in volunteer organizations also assist him in developing a greater appreciation for the hard work others do.

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tuned in with ashley ess

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by Tanya McAllister

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photo: tnah louise f a l l 2011

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If you have a little fiery-spirited boy who is aching to let his Wild Thing run loose, try this seriously soft and adorable Max Get-Up from Where the Wild Things Are! From The Radical Thread Company.

photos: rebecca coyle

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Check out these amazingly cute handmade woodland masks for dressing up! They are perfect for a quick + easy Halloween costume or just playing dress up at home! From Mahalo.

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If you are looking for a ridiculously cute handmade costume for your irresistible baby, try this foxy number!

Hand-Knitted Fox Costume from Organic Mama’s Shop.

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For your little fairy, take a walk over to the silk side with fairy wing dress-up at Sarah’s Silks!

The stuff she has is great for Hallows’ Eve dress up and everyday fairy play! f a l l 2011

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Orchard Handmade Pumpkins!

From Willow Creek Sparrow.

Wooden Salem Sign

by Mystical Enchantments For the perfect treat we went on a mission and found these French Sea Salt Butter Caramels that really should be illegal, they are so dangerously delicious! From Fusion Sweets.

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Vintage lanterns by Mystical Enchantments

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As fall approaches at lightning speed I look forward to celebrating my most loved holiday of the year. Dia de los Muertos is a uniquely Mexican celebration combining elements of Catholicism (All Saints Day) and ancient Aztec symbolism. The intention is to honor the spirits of our departed loved ones and ancestors. These spririts are believed to return to earth to join us as we celebrate.

From early October, we start to prepare through what is called Todos Santos. October 31 through November 2 mark a three-day period dedicated to these souls in celebration and remembrance of life, happiness, food, and family.

Because the Aztecs believed that life on earth is an illusion, death is a positive step forward into a higher level of consciousness. The calavera (skull/ skeleton) is a positive symbol not only of death, but of rebirth.

many traditional elements, all very symbolic. Four tiers must be used to represent the four directions. Pictures and special objects of loved ones are placed on the highest tier. Sugar skulls are made and sometimes placed on the second tier, as well as water and salt, for purification. Cempazuchitl (marigolds), which are sacred to

For the last several years we have built our offrenda (alter) in the quiet of our home. It is the most important ritual as it honors our loved ones with

Mictlantecuhtli, the Aztec god of death, are placed on and around the offrenda. Often time these Marigolds are scattered throughout cemeteries, f a l l 2011

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paper picados (tissue paper cut-outs in bold colors), sugar skulls, and pan de muerte (sweet egg bread shaped like cross bones with a hidden skull inside) as the thumping sound of competing mariachis blared from the restaurant above.

making paths from grave sites to homes, for their scent is strong and is known to attract the souls and draw them back.

The burning of copal (a hardened indigenous tree sap) along with candles are the final elements that help light the way for the returning souls to find their way home.

Some of my fondest memories are of going to the El Mercado located in the heart of east LA. There we bought mole,

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This past year I took my sons to a landmark in East Los Angeles called Self Help Graphics, where throughout the month of October they host Day of The Dead art workshops. We made a five-foottall Calaca out of paper mâchÊ over the course of the month of October. They also offer mask making, paper picados and alter building out of shoeboxes. They close their event with an alter contest and a procession.

Los Angeles is filled with wonderful events throughout town to celebrate this beloved holiday. My family and I close this celebration with full costumes of calaveras, we paint our faces as skulls so we can overcome fear of death. We get to be reckless and mischievous, which is forbidden any other time of the year as we take a trip to the Hollywood Forever

Cemetery. It is there we feast our eyes on the many elaborate alters created, pay our respects to Valentino and Johnny Ramone and picnic grave side to the sound of music and laughter filling the copal scented air.

Each year I am reminded of my sweet abuelitas (grandmothers), and the smell of their cocinas (kitchens). Without their love and inspiration I would not have had the opportunity to truly learn the true meaning of Dia de los Muertos and share this beautiful ritual with my four sons.

Photographer Tnah Louise’s understanding of what makes a picture speak to someone is deep and profound. Taking in the beauty of her surroundings, giving birth to her first son on the beach (literally) she knew she was capable of anything and her life would never be the same. www.bellafacciafoto.com f a l l 2011

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family rhythms

“There is no doubt that families today deal with a lot of stress and that parenting can be pretty overwhelming...

But there is hope.�

photo: alexandra defurio

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A Powerful Way to Simplify Discipline

by Andrea Danneker, M.A.

photo: eva lempert

Before we became parents, we dreamed of holding our newborn child in our arms, the joys that new parenthood would bring, the siblings to follow, the person he or she would become. This is where the journey began. Yet somehow the reality of family life doesn’t always measure up to our expectations. Even though we may know that parenting is a tough job and will require us to discipline our children, no one ever anticipates the feelings of frustration and vulnerability that come with it. Yet this has become a common experience amongst many parents today, steeped in guilt for not being able to handle their children as well as they think they should. But there is hope.

Andrea Danneker, M.A., Simplicity Parenting Coach, helps families design and implement the changes they’d like to make in their home life and family interactions to bring more calm and enjoyment. To inquire about working with Andrea or to invite her to speak, please contact her at andrea@simplicityparenting.com and visit www.yourparentingjourney.com.

There is no doubt that families today deal with a lot of stress and that parenting can be pretty overwhelming. Truthfully, there is no one “right answer,” nor can there be since each child comes into the world with his or her own unique set of needs. However, as Kim John Payne highlights in his popular book Simplicity Parenting, there is one very powerful way of simplifying discipline in your home – increase your family rhythms. Not only will you see your child relax, but establishing predictable rhythms will allow you to discipline less. Imagine that – something that requires less of you.

What are family rhythms?

Family rhythms are the things we do every day, automatically, without thinking – a pattern of behavior that is established through frequent repetition. In other words, it is our habit life. Rhythm says there is order, there is predictability, and there is reliability. For children, having a

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rhythmic family life is like growing their roots deep into the earth. It provides security and strength as they expand and grow so as the winds pick up, they can hold strong and weather the storm.

They can venture off and freely explore with the safety of knowing their world, where they’ve come from, and what’s in store when they return. It says “we always do this because it is important” and it develops strong will forces that guide the child to do what is needed or necessary. This deep sense of “we are” that a child receives from a predictable family life eventually then transforms into a clear sense of who “I am.” It creates a grounded and confident child and eventually, adult.

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Where to begin Morrish suggests some areas where parents might consider building good habits for children are: • Around routines – such as bedtime, mealtimes, and getting ready for school .

• Times of the day that involve health – such as bathing, brushing teeth, and washing hands.

• Times of the day that involve responsibilities – such as chores, care of toys, and cleaning up after oneself.

An attempt to change the pulse of an entire day will surely bring discouragement. In fact, I encourage you to begin with a time of day where there is already some sense of regularity – meals and bedtime is often a good place to start. Choose basic activities that could be made more consistent, and work up from there.

• If your family always sits down for breakfast together, consider adding gesture for when it’s polite to begin – a simple gathering of hands with the words “Bon Appetit”!

• As you say good night, introduce a simple verse “There goes the sun.

Today is done. See you tomorrow, my love.”

• Reflect on the idea of establishing regular meals – pasta on Mondays, salad bar on Tuesdays, stir fry on Wednesdays, and so on.

• Light a candle to snuff at the close of story time.

and children to think more, do more, talk more, and give more effort, which, quite frankly, is exhausting and not surprisingly overwhelming for both parent and child.

photo: bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com

Some families lack rhythm in their daily lives out of pure busyness. For others, it is a conscious decision made out of the desire to create flexible children. And then there are some parents who just enjoy spontaneity and feel restricted by predictability. Regardless of its origin, families’ daily lives have become a series of decisions to make (for both parent and child) about what to do next or how to handle an issue, where habit is absent and everything becomes a thinking activity. Ronald Morrish, in his helpful book Secrets of Discipline, says this is why children so often counter our directions with “Why should I? What will I get if I do? And what will happen if I don’t?”

Parents are left to think of the answers while children are collecting information (a cost benefit analysis) so they can decide if the task is worth the effort. The problem is that as soon as children start to mull over rules and directions, many of them will either act impulsively or decide to do what is beneficial for themselves rather than what is right or needed in the situation. This complicates discipline and requires more from the parent. In short, a lack of family rhythm requires parents

Everyone needs moments during each day where they can turn off the thinking part of the brain and relax a little.

For some parents, the mere idea of establishing new family rhythms can add a whole new layer of pressure. Right now you may be feeling everything but relaxed as you contemplate fitting all the pieces of your family life into any kind of framework. It is true. This does involve a parent to pull in a bit, rearrange things, and invite the idea of letting some things go, but a small investment on a parent’s part will produce a lifetime of good habits and gradually replace the need to discipline with an opportunity for the family to connect.

Certain habits are desirable like getting dressed in the morning, clearing plates after a meal, and brushing teeth at night, but not everything needs to be treated as a habit. We don’t want our children to be machines. Remember, this is about creating moments during the day where the parent no longer has to direct (once the rhythm is established) and the child does it without thinking. In other words, it comes from within.

When my children get home from school, they automatically change into some fresh “after-school clothes” and wash their hands.

Why? Because we always do. Somehow knowing exactly what to do when they get

home plants their feet firmly on the ground as they transition back into home life. It says, “I am home and all is well.” It is quick, simple, and deeply rooted by repetition.

they will test you to see if things remain the same. Trust me, children want your answer to be “yes, it is still the same.” And when it is, they will relax and so will you.

Start small. Begin by refreshing a current routine or bringing in just one or two new moments in the day that are the same.

Your closeness, insistence, and follow through will be needed for the first couple of weeks as you establish the new habit before your child is able to do the task without thinking. Children may need a little “re-training” from time to time as

Give it a try. I suspect that in no time at all your child will be reminding you that it is time to light the dinner candle or say the morning verse. It will soon become a moment that you both will look forward to – a moment that can be counted on, a moment free from negotiations, a moment to connect.

Simple Ideas to Strengthen the Pulse of an Activity • Light a candle • Sing a simple song at the beginning or end • Say a verse, blessing, or prayer before

Sample Bedtime Rhythm • • • • • • •

Bath Pajamas Lay clothes out for tomorrow Brush teeth Read a book Song Lights out

• • • •

Do it together Ring a bell Gather Hands Establish an order

Sample Morning Rhythm remember, establishing the order can strengthen the rhythm • • • • • • • •

Open shades Get dressed Make bed Breakfast Brush teeth and hair Shoes on for school Grab lunch Out the door

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Grandmother Wisdom Autumn: A Perfect Time for Grandparenting

by Nanci Shanderá, Ph.D. Autumn has begun its quiet emergence. It slows us down with its silent magic, creeping up on us on little cat feet. There’s an ineffable something about the feel of autumn. The smell of wet leaves. The barely discernible sound of birds winging on their migrations. The play of muted light through the trees.

But Autumn holds other magic as well. It plays host to the mysterious as days become shorter and nights become longer. And what an appropriate time for storytelling. There’s no one better to fill the role of Family Storyteller than a grandparent.

Whether Nana narrates as she shows photos of her life while the grandkids scrunch tightly against her to get the best view, or reads an intriguing bedtime story, or creates exciting stories from scratch, this ages-old tradition of storytelling is alive and well.

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Indigenous cultures through the ages have revered their tribe’s or clan’s storytellers, who served as a spiritual guide by the tales they told.

Children would have been expected to learn the stories so they would know the right way to be a person of integrity and honor. These are the kinds of lessons our children cannot learn from television or computer games (just the opposite, actually!). So grandparents can fill this ancient role and help our children to develop important virtues that can serve them well.

It is a rich gift for children to spend quality time with elders. I prefer to use the word, “elders,” rather than “the elderly” because there is a whole different tone when we think of the older people in our lives as having lived a life and experienced so many rich things that can be shared. There is wisdom that grows as a result of aging. Grandparents are incredible sources of insight and inspiration. We encourage children to think outside the box. We can provide support where there may be a lack when parents are busy or unavailable. For a child to be blessed with a wise, loving grandparent in her or his life, miracles can happen! Whether in a phone call, letter or email, or during a Skype session if grandparents live far away, children need to have access to their grandparents.

In many cultures, the work of healing and spiritual guidance was the job of the elders, the old wise ones who had lived long enough to share the fruits of their experience. In ancient Greece, one of the most revered and powerful goddesses was Hecate. Her role as the wise old woman included overseeing births, guiding and teaching children, being a midwife for the dying, protecting sacred sites and burial places, “seeing” or prophesying for her community as a dream interpreter, protecting earth, sky and sea, being the guardian of social outcasts and misfits, serving as initiator in the transformative mystery schools, and protecting the home. In the evening, the Greeks would put out a plate of food on the doorstep for Hecate.

This practice of honoring elders by providing sustenance for them mutated into our practice of handing out or leaving candy on the porch for children at Halloween.

artwork by elena powell

Through the centuries, Hecate and most of the original, ancient, and powerful goddesses have been relegated to the realm of fantasy stories.

Hecate has become a hag, a terrible witch whose sole purpose is reported to be to scare us on Halloween. This has followed us through time and influenced how we perceive and treat our wise elders.

There is so much richness, wisdom, and spiritual inspiration available within the grandmothers and grandfathers in our families. Like Hecate, they may disturb or intrigue us with the way their seasoned faces look, or how slowly they get around, or the way they represent our own eventual aging and death. For this reason, I believe, our society tends to reject elders, in how many of us forget to visit them or make extra efforts to show they still matter. How else can we receive the gifts our elders have to offer us and our children?

It is a rich gift for children to spend quality time with elders.

Our elders are indeed treasures. By sitting and talking to them about their experiences, their dreams, and their visions for the future, our children are enriched beyond measure.

In this season of giving thanks, take the time to share your gratitude for the Wise Ones in your life. Learn what you can from them so when the time comes, you will be able to move gracefully into your own elderhood.

Dr. Nanci Shanderá is a spiritual psychologistteacher in northern California and author of Bridge to the Soul:Unconditional Self-Acceptance as a Path to Wholeness and Spiritual Awakening. Her background includes studying with Brugh Joy, M.D. for over 30 years, training seminary students as a minister of Religious Science, and teaching Mystery School courses that include dreams, transformational alchemy and art, and eldership training. Visit www.

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this is how

Kindergarten

A Homeschooling Journey

changed our lives

by Paige Loter

Paige Loter likes to consider herself a jack of all trades. With a passion for anything creative, crafty, theatrical, or educational, she has worn many hats at different points in her life: graphic designer, toy designer, theatrical director and costume designer, baton twirler, teacher and the endeavor she is most proud of: mommy and wife. She lives with her husband, Steve; her son, Nico, 9; and daughter Calista, 4, in Thousand Oaks, CA.

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My second child would be born in September, just as my son, Nico, would be starting kindergarten.

People kept saying to me, either sincerely or sarcastically, that it was perfect timing. The sincere comments were about how I could now enjoy one-on-one time with the new baby now that Nico would be at school for four hours a day.

The sarcastic comments noted how just as I was going to get four hours of free time every day, I went and had another baby to ruin my “me time.”

In reality I was sad about giving up my days with Nico. I loved spending time with him and I had fun creating a full life for my young son. He had been at my side every day for the last five years and I would miss him. I also wasn’t sure he was ready for school. Academically he was well above where he needed to be to start kindergarten, but socially, it was a different story. We struggled with hitting and pushing, impulse control, a little bit of cluelessness and wild emotions, but he seemed to be growing out of those challenging behaviors-almost. He would be just five years old and the thought occurred to me that maybe we should wait. However, with him being such an energetic, enthusiastic learner and already ahead of the academic curve, I didn’t see the benefit of waiting.

What a mix of emotions it was for me on the first morning of kindergarten. I was proud, sad, excited, relieved and lonely. Through my teary eyes I watched the pure joy on Nico’s face as he ran around with the other kids on the playground before the bell rang. I just knew that everything would be okay and he would love school.

On the second day of kindergarten I was met with whining disappointment when I whispered in Nico’s ear that it was time to wake up for school.

This certainly wasn’t the reaction I expected but I figured he was just tired and it would be fine.

Coming from a family of teachers and being a good student myself, I pretty much expected school to be wonderful for Nico. Unfortunately, and I hated to admit it, school wasn’t the wonderfully warm, caring, enriching environment that I hoped for.

Nico was having a hard time sitting and waiting quietly in class, a hard time standing in line, and a hard time on the playground. Moving boxes, stacking chairs or running laps would refresh him and he’d be ready to concentrate again. I suggested to the teacher that giving him gross motor jobs to do during his down time would greatly improve his mood and concentration.

“That wouldn’t be fair to the other kids,” the teacher said. “I shouldn’t have to give him special things to do to make him behave like the other kids do already on their own.”

I volunteered to be room mother and help in the classroom, but no matter what I tried, Nico’s quality of life took a turn for the worse. Our focus became about how we could make him fit the system and we were losing the joy of his individuality. There seemed to be no talk of how the system could help him. What could the teacher do to help guide Nico through these difficult stages? Apparently nothing. There isn’t room in a public school teacher’s day to focus on an individual student’s needs.

Nico missed two days of school to be home with me when the new baby was born and I was happy to share those precious hours with him. Calista, our darling girl, lived in her sling, nursing and sleeping and we hardly noticed anything was different except that I now had a permanent seven pound lump strapped to me during the day and we had a new warm body in our bed at night.

After just a few short weeks, it was as if Calista had always been there. However, the addition of a baby was difficult for the school. I wasn’t allowed to work in the classroom, chaperone field trips or even make copies in the school office if Calista was with me. She was weeks old, never came out

of her sling, never even made a noise, and they were making me choose between my children.

Do I chaperone Nico’s trip to the pumpkin patch and leave my six-week-old baby with a sitter?

Exclusive breastfeeding and no bottles ruled out that arrangement! But I didn’t want to miss Nico’s important events either and I especially didn’t want him to feel I was missing his life because of the new baby.

Things got more stressful as Nico’s complaints about school escalated. He was still getting into trouble because there wasn’t enough time in the class schedule to move his body around. Situations on the playground were not supervised with loving guidance. The teacher was so quick to punish instead of talk with the five- and six-year-olds who were having trouble communicating with one another. Nico was afraid of the playground teacher and cried about his trouble getting along with the other boys. When I picked Nico up from school each day, his behavior was summed up by a

This was no way for a five year old to live and not what I wanted our family life to be. So after much discussion, reading, weighing options, reading more, and gathering opinions and advice from family and friends, we made a drastic decision.

We decided that Nico would benefit more from being home with me instead of in any school environment, at least until he was more mature.

We were going to become homeschoolers! It was a relief to tell the teacher that Nico would not be attending the counseling sessions and he would not be attending her class anymore.

thumbs-up or a thumbs-down by the teacher from across the crowded walkway. On the thumbs-up days we left with a smile. On the thumbs-down days, the teacher would take the time to relate to me all the ways he misbehaved. It baffled me how she failed to see his interest in reading, his love of animals and art and his true, sweet, desire to be friends with the other kids. School was causing problems at home that we needed to “deal with” which never would have been problems had the kids had guidance on the playground. Going to school should not be stressful for a five year old. If he started school this way, how would the rest of his school life be? Would he be labeled “the trouble maker” by his teachers and have this label follow him from year to year? How could anyone love life and be free to grow with that label following them around?

I was frustrated, sad, stressed out and angry-- so was Nico. But the last straw came the day I got a call that Nico had been sent to the principal’s office for swinging his lunchbox and accidentally hitting a boy with it. The principal?? Who sends a five-yearold to the principal’s office? Nico didn’t even know what a principal was! I was furious– upset that I was still dealing with this developmental stage – but mostly furious that there was no understanding from anyone at the school. They wanted Nico to start seeing a counselor once a week.

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People looked at me like I was crazy when word got around that we were pulling Nico out of school.

People doubted that I would be able to teach him as well as a credentialed teacher. They just shook their heads as I assured them that I could handle it. Slightly offended, I realized that there was no use explaining to them that my goal was not to be like the school at all, but better. That life and learning with guidance from a loving parent is no comparison to sinking in a system that isn’t set up for anyone who doesn’t fit the mold. And most importantly, I could now directly help Nico form lasting friendships instead of punishing him when he struggled with how to relate to people.

I also figured that what ever we decided now didn’t have to be the decision for the rest of our lives and if and when we needed to make another change we would. What was most important was that we got our happy life back.

And WOW! What a breath of fresh air homeschooling is! It has been four years and we have not looked back after making the decision to learn at home. The social aspects of homeschooling within an active community are stunning. The flexibility homeschooling provides is awesome and most importantly, my kids are well-adjusted, loving life, loving learning, and spend their time with the people that love them most. I can’t say that every day is perfect or stress-free but it is nice to know that whatever comes up, we have the freedom to deal with it as a family and with the loving guidance that every child deserves.

Winter Issue Is Coming in December To contribute send queries to submissions@bamboofamilymag.com To advertise contact advertising@bamboofamliymag.com

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konscious kids

Easing

School Anxiety

By Hannah Ruth Wilde

Connection and Touch

Take time to connect with your child. This sounds simple, but with the daily demands of professional life and caring for a home and family, it may be difficult to find the time. Start with twenty minutes of focused attention. Set aside all other responsibilities.

If you have more than one child, choose time alone with each, or use this time to interconnect as a family. Initiate conversation, ask questions, share relevant experiences from your childhood, play, or just hang out. Use touch: hugs, cuddling,

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and holding hands. Place a gentle hand on your child’s back. Research has shown that caring touch is highly therapeutic, especially in calming the nervous system. To strengthen your bond, choose a consistent time each day to connect – perhaps early morning, private time in the car on the way home from school, or at bedtime. Increase your time together as schedules allow.

Relating to your child without interruption will help foster a solid relationship – one that your child can rely upon when life’s challenges arise.

Note: If your teenage child seems unresponsive, remember that his cool demeanor is developmentally appropriate.

Your presence is especially needed during these confusing years. Though it may not show, your attention will make a positive impact on his sense of security.

Journaling

Children of all ages except the very young can participate in journaling. Give your child a blank book in which to draw, color, or write about his experiences at school.

Provide crayons, pencils, or markers in a variety of colors. Keep the journal in a special place, separate from other art and writing projects. If needed, prompt with open-ended questions such as, “How

photo: sara pine

Going back to school is a big event in the life of a child. Each grade level presents increased academic and social challenges. Children may feel happy, sad, excited, nervous, confident, scared, overwhelmed - or a combination of these and other emotions. Like adults, it is normal for children to feel anxious when starting something new. Children may exhibit sleeplessness, lack of appetite, nail biting, shyness, aggression, or other behaviors dues to nerves. Some children do not have any ‘symptoms’ but may still feel jittery about the new school year. To help calm school anxiety, try one or two of the tips listed below.

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was your day today?” or “Tell me about lunchtime,” or “What happened in gym?”

Include questions about dreams. Allow your child to respond freely using the journal. The response may come through words, pictures, or a scribble of color. After the exercise is complete, ask him if he wants to share his writing or explain the picture.

This may lead to a productive conversation about challenges at school. Or, your child may prefer privacy. Whether discussion follows, the act of self-expression on paper releases pent-up emotions, alleviating pressure that can lead to anxiety.

Visualization

Try this visualization exercise: Begin by asking your child to identify one challenging situation at school. Have him recount the scenario including details such as people, place and time. You might find his response includes a situation that actually occurred or projections of what he fears might happen.

Allow whatever arises. Identify associated feelings. Next, retell the scenario, changing details to create a positive experience. Be sure to create images that are realistic.

Include ideas of how changes in your child’s behavior can impact the situation. (For example, sharing, saying no, or raising a hand to respond in class.) Encourage

affirmations such as ‘I am safe’ or ‘I can make good choices for myself.’ Repeat the exercise over several days or weeks. For young children, visualize a hero from a favorite story. Pretend the hero is here to help. Use this visualization technique to build confidence and skills that, when ready, your child can transfer to real life.

Note: It is natural for children of any age to be unable to identify the source of anxiety.

Talk about difficult school situations from your childhood. Paint a picture of one scenario and include how you felt. Follow the steps above to re-imagine the event in a positive light. The images you create may trigger your child’s memory and help him identify his own challenge. Either way, he will learn from your insight and feel reassured that he is not alone in his experiences.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing can be an excellent tool to use in anxietyproducing situations. Together, practice a slow rhythm of counting and breathing.

Breathe into the space below the navel. Inhale to the count of four. Exhale to the count of four. Feel the rise and fall of the lower belly. Notice how the body calms. Repeat as needed.

For small children, place a favorite stuffed animal on the belly and watch it sail up and down on the tranquil ocean.

to clear those energies that are not his.

Visualize standing in a shower of white and gold light. Slowly and gently allow light to flow through the top of the head, down through trunk and limbs, and out Prayer the tailbone and feet. Pay special attention Depending upon your religious or spiritual to areas where anxiety is held. If the idea beliefs, you may wish to invite your child of light is abstract to your child, create a to participate in prayer. Begin a practice at home. Find quiet time. Share language and relatable image. Encourage him to cover traditions that are meaningful to you. If you his body with sparkly paint, a fuzzy white blanket, or snowflakes. Let your child be feel it is appropriate, mention yourself and creative and share his idea. Use the images your child in your prayer. Offer your child an active part – perhaps recitation of a short to cleanse, fill, and protect with healing verse or song. Model the inner strength you light. find through your faith. Try not to push photo: Jennifer & Rick Tan, Syrendell www.syrendell.com your beliefs on your child. Ask questions about his experience.

Offer gentle guidance and allow your child time to find his sense of the spiritual world within the framework that you provide. Be mindful that your child will still need to acquire concrete coping skills, but that a connection to spirit may be a source of security when parents are not present.

Healing Light

Human interaction is always an exchange of energy. Some of us actually carry energy from the work or school environment into the home. Some energy may feel discordant or draining, impact our mood, inhibit clear thinking, and alter our view of ourselves. As parents, we are responsible for helping our children negotiate a complex world. We gift our children when we reflect back a sense of who they are as individuals. Developing autonomy includes developing a healthy sense of self and boundaries. One exercise for helping a child learn about himself is

Hannah Ruth Wilde has worked with children for over twenty years. She is an educator and parenting consultant. Currently working on her first novel for young adults entitled Southern Comfort, Hannah is also a writer of short stories and poetry. Her creative writing classes have been enjoyed by women and by children. Contact Hannah at WildeRhymes@ gmail.com or visit www.WeAsWomenWriters.com.

Special thanks to Maria Bartolotta for information regarding healing light.

in Anni’s conscious kitchen Food Swaps: Building Cupboards & Community with Home-Produced Edibles

by Elizabeth Sniegocki (Photography by Kollene Carlsson) swaps, I drooled over the idea of trading my home-canned jams and handmade butter for someone else’s handcrafted beer, homemade pickles, or fresh-baked bread. I had visions of my kitchen overflowing with all the goods I longed to grow, preserve and cook, but that I simply couldn’t squeeze into an already busy homesteading routine.

I have many loves for food: growing it, preserving it, cooking it, sharing it and, of course, eating it. Now, I also love swapping it. When I first learned of food

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So, I rallied some village mamas and soon found myself in a room full of like-minded food fanciers, browsing tables of homeproduced edibles, conveniently packaged and beckoning for me to take them back to my nest. I arrived at our inaugural food swap bearing pint jars of canned tomatoes and bottles of strawberry-vanilla water kefir, all produced in my small, suburban kitchen. I returned home with fresh yogurt, homemade energy bars, just-picked hot peppers, homemade blueberry & peachvanilla syrups, fresh backyard eggs and more.

The excitement was high as we swappers filled our baskets, boxes and totes with each other’s lovingly-made creations.

And as it turns out, we did more than just diversify our cupboards that day. By coming together as a community, we satisfied a communal craving to share and celebrate handcrafted food.

“People are hungry for this,” says Kate Payne, author of The Hip Girl’s Guide to Homemaking. “Food swaps forge and reinforce community.”

Payne started the food swapping movement in Brooklyn less than two years ago. “I’d made a large batch of marmalade, so I put it out to friends on Twitter to see if anyone wanted to trade me for some. Friends responded with offers of sauerkraut, eggs and honey. And that’s how it started,” recalls Payne. “Soon, I had 23 people in my 600-square-foot apartment for our first meet-up of the BK Swappers (http://www. facebook.com/BKSwappers). We had only one rule – items had to be homemade.”

Payne’s idea, shared in her book and on her blog (http://hipgirlshome.com/), caught on and the food swapping movement has rapidly spread (there’s even a group in London). Swaps are happening across the country from California to Minneapolis to Massachusetts.

It’s no wonder these simple, fun events are popping up from coast to coast; they seem to serve as a natural progression of the

popular local food and urban homesteading movements. From farmers’ markets and community supported agriculture, to backyard gardens and urban chicken keeping, consumers are taking back control of their food production and procurement.

With locally-harvested goods in hand, a burgeoning number of homesteaders are now preparing, processing and preserving foodstuff in their own home kitchens. Food swaps are a logical next step, where cooks, bakers and gardeners step away from their homesteads and gather, as a community, to exchange their homemade and homegrown food, sans cash (an attractive benefit in today’s unreliable economy).

Upon returning to Austin, Texas after two years in Brooklyn, Payne and a friend started an Austin swap known as the ATX Swappers. “We always have more interest than spaces availabile,” says Payne, who

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caps her events at 20-25 people. “So I was so inspired when another small group started here within an existing community of mothers.” She sees this as the future of the food swapping trend, where people tap into their existing networks to organize their own small gatherings. “People used to always do this within their communities.

They’d share what they had and swap for what they needed,” says Payne.

While swapping homeproduced goods isn’t a new idea, the modern day food swap raises the culinary bar a notch or two from the trading days of yore. Rather than bartering ma’s jam for doc’s housecall, contemporary swappers are fellow food-lovers, offering up their culinary creations in a friendly and fun exchange. Gatherings attract a wide variety of common edibles, from home-grown greens and beans to handcrafted breads and spreads, as well as an eclectic mix of foddieapproved fare. Some of the more unique – and sought-after – items Payne has seen at swaps include sourdough starter, homemade sausages and handcrafted gasparilla rootbeer.

For our initial swap, participants were invited to bring whatever they had or whatever they make really well – a bunch of one thing, or a few of a couple of things.

Rules were limited to homegrown, homemade or handforaged edibles. And reusable, Earthfriendly packaging

was encouraged. Fortunately, everyone brought something different to the table, resulting in a spread of culinary deliciousness.

Swappers had a place to display their goods, and a swap sheet to fill in for each item. For this, we used forms with spaces to list the swapper’s name, food item and quantity, ingredients and notes. These sheets also provided a space for bidders to write their names and what they were willing to trade.

Our swappers were encouraged to bring a potluck dish to share as well. So for the first hour of our gathering, we munched on spinach & feta quiche, homemade breadsticks and fresh fruit, while browsing and sampling the swap offerings and making our initial offers on paper. I signed up for a basket of homegrown Okinawa spinach, a jar of raspberry jam and a bundle of fresh chocolate mint wrapped in a banana leaf, among many other items. When the official swapping time was announced, we searched out who belonged to the yogurt,

the cheddar-garlic muffins, and so forth, and began negotiations. The swap sheets provided a starting point, but in no way limited our trades.

I had a lot of interest in my water kefir with more bids than bottles, and ended up having to turn people away. My tomatoes, on the other hand, had a little less draw.

Toward the end, I had one jar left that I happily exchanged for two packages of chocolate-coconut mini cupcakes. “I feel like I got the better end of the deal here,� one swapper stated, her arms cradling jars of mango chutney and homemade granola, and a fresh-baked gluten-free boule (for which she’d traded jars of pickled okra, pickled green beans and strawberry jam). In the end, everyone felt the same way. We all believed we got

more than we bargained for, each of us returning home with a treasure trove of foodstuff we would never have made or grown on our own, and a strengthened community too.

Liz Sniegocki is a writer and advocate of simple, mindful living. She makes her nest in Sarasota, Florida, where she writes, gardens, cooks, crafts and nurtures two sweet little chicks. Liz blogs about her community, mothering, homesteading and natural living at A Natural Nester.

Kollene Carlsson is a lifestyle photographer. She and her husband own Blonde Cow Photography, a boutique studio in Sarasota, Florida. Kollene has a passion for living life simply and exploring this Earth with her family, while documenting every step of the way. Her two little girls and husband fill her heart to the rim with smiles!

Top 5 Tips for Hosting a Food Swap Provided by food swapping pioneer & author of The Hip Girl’s Guide to Homemaking, Kate Payne.

1. Cap your swap at 20 people initially. “This holds people accountable and reduces confusion at the event,” says Payne, whose swaps never go over 25.

2. Designate separate spaces for swap items and consumables (such as samples and potluck offerings) to make maximum use of your swap table.

3. Employ nametags and swap sheets to help facilitate a smooth swap. Downloadable swap sheets can be found on the Hip Girls Guide to Homemaking website. Payne recommends using one swap sheet per food item.

4. When opening the swap floor, remind swappers that food is very personal and not to be offended if offers are turned down, or to feel bad turning down an offer. “I always tell people it’s not a question of how it’s made, but rather is it a useful item in my house,” says Payne.

5. Provide a clear set of directions for new and returning swappers. Payne displays a board with instructions for swappers to 1) label items and self, 2) place swap items and consumables on designated tables, and 3) review a sample of a filled out swap sheet, which she provides.

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Liz’s Cinnamon-Crunch Granola Ingredients: • 4 c. oats • 2 c. sunflower seeds • 2 c. sliced almonds • 2 c. chopped walnuts • 1 c. unsweetened shredded coconut • 2 t. cinnamon • ¼ t. nutmeg • ¼ t. salt • ½ c. honey • ½ c. brown rice syrup or maple syrup • ¾ c. canola oil (or ¾ cup unsweetened applesauce and ¼ cup canola oil) • 1 t. vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. Combine dry ingredients in large bowl.

3. Combine wet ingredients in another, smaller bowl.

4. Pour wet over dry and stir well.

5. Spread granola mixture on 2 rimmed baking sheets, lined with parchment paper.

6. Bake 30-40 minutes, stirring and rotating pans half way.

7. Cool on pan. Stir in dried fruit if desired (raisins, chopped apricots, cranberries, etc.) and transfer to pint-size mason jars for swapping.

8. Makes approx. 5 pint jars.

Perfect for Swapping!

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from Anni’s The Organic Family Cookbook

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Raw Vegan Apple Pie Ingredients: • 3 cups raw almonds • 1 1/2 cups pitted dates • 6–8 Fuji apples, cored • 3 tablespoons raw agave nectar • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon • 4 1/2 teaspoons ground flax seed • 4 1/2 teaspoons fresh-squeezed lemon juice • 3/4 cup raisins 1. Grind almonds in a food processor or coffee grinder and add dates, a few at a time, to taste. Press the mixture evenly into the bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie pan. Set aside and make the filling.

2. Using a mandoline slicer, thinly slice apples. Put apple slices into a large mixing bowl and add agave nectar, cinnamon, flax seed, lemon juice, and raisins. Mix well.

3. Place apple mixture into the piecrust and serve within a day.

4. Serves 10

The Organic Family Cookbook is available now!

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farmers rock

Making Butter…

Making Memories

by Nicole Spring

Squirt, squish, squirt, squish. There is something about the sound of fresh cow’s milk squirting into a bucket that brings such calmness and peace to my soul. It is a sound I cherish and will always remember. I was blessed to hear it every morning and evening for six straight months back in 2004 while I lived at a self-sufficient farm. Milking the cows was one of the ways I ‘earned my keep’ there, and I treasured it.

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I was awake before sunrise along with my dearest friend and guardian angel, Mother Kaulini. We would gather up our milk buckets and head to the barn. When we arrived, we were greeted by a chorus of meows from all of the hungry barn cats waiting for their serving of milk. I would pour the grain into the feed trough while Mother Kaulini rounded up our two milk cows, Lali and Draupadi. We would lead them to their grain and then, as they ate, we would milk them. We sat on old milk crates as stools.

Milking was such a deliberate and meaningful chore.

Sometimes Mother Kaulini and I would have deep discussions about life as we milked. Other times we were silent, just taking it all in. When we were done we would thank our cows, give them lots of love, and let them back out in the field to play and enjoy their clover. We filled the cats’ bowls a little and brought our milk-filled buckets back to the kitchen to get it ready for the day. This is where I first learned how to make things like butter, yogurt and ghee.

I reflect back on that time period as one of the best in my life. It seems like such a distant memory now. It was all before I was a mama, and so much has changed since then. I wish to share as much of my experiences from those days with my children today. I’d like them to fully

understand and respect how all of their food got to the table. I hope to instill this reverence of where food comes from in my children.

the simpler times, like the days of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family, and I think back to my six months at the farm.

While we are striving to have a working homestead of our own, a cow has not made it into the picture just yet. In the meantime, I enjoy teaching my girls how to make our own dairy products from scratch. One of my favorites to do with them is homemade butter making. It’s such a fun and simple process. I love to witness the amazement in my children’s eyes as they watch the cream go through all of its changes and finally become butter. Butter making is a great way to give children a peak into where their food comes from and how it is created. It reminds me of

You don’t need to have homesteading dreams like me to enjoy making your own dairy products. It’s a fast, easy process. It’s actually so simple, your child could make it from start to finish. In fact, my oldest daughter’s kindergarten class makes butter every Thursday along with their fresh bread (from flour they grind themselves!). There is always a lot of fun to be had by you and your children when it comes to butter making, not to mention that homemade butter tastes 100 times better than any store-bought you could ever find.

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Butter What you will need: • 1 pint (2 cups) organic heavy cream • 1/4 teaspoon salt • medium sized bowl • small colander • fine-meshed sieve • hand mixer (We found ours at a yard sale but you can buy childsized ones online.)

We always start any kitchen project by putting on our aprons. There is something special and nostalgic about wearing aprons as they set the mood for our kitchen activity.

Now begin by pouring your heavy cream into a bowl and let your child begin mixing the cream with the hand mixer. This is my oldest daughter’s favorite part. You will see it go through stages starting with frothy, to whipped cream (we always pause for a moment at this point to enjoy a fingerful), then to solid bits surrounded by liquid (the liquid is buttermilk), and finally the solid bits will turn from white to a pale yellow. When they reach this point, pour your butter into a fine-meshed sieve over a bowl and let the buttermilk drain for about 5 minutes.

Reserve the buttermilk for a special treat when you are all done.

Transfer your butter to a colander and rinse it with cold water. Using a wooden spoon, knead the butter to remove excess water. Mix in the salt. The salt helps to add more flavor as well as prevent spoiling. Keep kneading the butter for about 10 minutes until it becomes firmer and all of the liquid has been worked out.

Now you can form it into any shape you wish, press it into molds, or just leave it as is.

Alternative method: To show how simple it is to make butter, you can also use a canning jar to make it. You will need the same ingredients as above but this time pour the heavy cream into a clean jar with a tight fitting lid (very important!). Screw the lid on and shake, shake, shake the jar until the butterfat becomes solid and separates from the liquid. This takes about 15 minutes. Pour out the buttermilk and then follow the instructions above.

Store your homemade butter in a covered dish in the refrigerator. It should keep for several weeks; although, I’m sure you’ll find that it’s so delicious it won’t last but a day or two in your home.

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We like to eat our fresh butter right away on a slice of our Honey Tea Bread (recipe below) with a glass of the reserved buttermilk. There is nothing like it! bamboo f a l l 2011

Honey Tea Bread 1 2/3 c whole wheat pastry flour 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp ginger 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 c honey 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 3/4 c milk 1/3 c brewed tea (Any kind will work.

We prefer chamomile) 1/2 c veg oil 1 egg 1/3 c wheat germ Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Grease a 9” x 5” loaf pan and set aside. Combine flour, wheat germ, salt, cinnamon, ginger and baking powder in a small bowl. Beat the tea, egg, milk, honey and oil in a large bowl until well blended. Then slowly add flour mixture a little at a time.

Pour into prepared pan and bake for 45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove from the pan and cool on a wire rack.

Nicole Spring is a girl known by many names: wife, mama, homemaker (of the radical kind), knitter, cook, seamstress, student (of life as well as of her children), crafter, photographer, and girl of all trades. She currently lives in Portland, OR with her husband, three little ones and a house full of animals, and is heavily involved in her local Waldorf community with dreams to someday live off the land on her own frontier homestead. Always with her camera in hand, she chronicles her family’s journey through a creative life on her blog Frontier Dreams.

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Building a Natural Home Medicine Kit Healing your Family with Nature’s Remedies

by Vanessa Nixon Klein, DiHom, Herbalist It wasn’t that long ago when every home had an herbal or homeopathic medicine kit filled with natural remedies to treat injuries or illnesses that family members might encounter.

These days it is not so common and many people feel at a loss when they are faced with a feverish child at 2 am, the beginnings of a respiratory infection, or a finger burned from a kitchen mishap. Not only is it common sense to have a natural medicine kit at home, but it is inexpensive to put together and quite empowering to realize that you have the ability to heal yourself and your family of just about any acute illness or injury that you may encounter.

Following is a brief summary of some of the items you may want to include in your natural home medicine kit. They can be purchased ready made, but most of them you can make yourself very easily and inexpensively. A combination of any or all of the herbal items listed below would make a great addition to any home.

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home, naturally Herbal Remedies: Aloe vera – Aloe has been used throughout a long portion of our history in treating and healing burns and other minor skin irritations. The best way to use aloe is directly from the plant itself.

Break off a plump piece and slice it open. Apply the clear sap inside directly to the burned or irritated area. It is this sap that has been shown to have pain-relieving and anti-inflammatory properties.

Calendula cream – This is the first thing we reach for whenever one of the children has a cut, scratch, scrape or rash. Historically, Calendula has been used in reducing inflammation, promoting wound healing, and as an antiseptic.

It has been used to treat a variety of skin diseases including skin ulcerations and eczema.

Echinacea Tincture – Echinacea is a wonderful immune boosting herb – anti-viral as well as anti-bacterial. Topically useful for stings and bites (it is a Native American snakebite remedy), as well as skin infections, echinacea is a staple for the home medicine kit. Echinacea is useful for poisonous insect and snake bites, toothaches, sore throat, wounds, childhood illnesses, upper respiratory infections, the common cold, sinusitis, influenza, herpes, lymphatic swelling and skin ulcers.

Elderberry Elixir – This is an essential remedy to have on hand, especially during the cold and flu season. Rich in vitamins A, B and C, elderberry supports immune system functioning and is one of the best remedies for viral infections. Useful for colds, flus, respiratory afflictions, fevers and upset stomachs.

Garlic – I have heard many herbalists say that if they were stranded on a desert island and could have only one medicine with them – it would be garlic! It is a powerful broad-spectrum antibiotic and has been used to ward off everything from the common cold to the Plague. Some of the ailments it has been used to treat include wounds, ulcers, skin infections, flu, athlete’s foot, some viruses, strep, worms, respiratory ailments, high blood pressure, blood thinning, cancer of the stomach, colic, colds, kidney problems,

bladder problems, and ear aches. Incorporating garlic, especially raw, into your daily diet is a key part of keeping your body healthy and your immune system functioning at optimal levels.

Ginger – Ginger is an excellent anti-inflammatory herb as well as an important digestive remedy.

It is useful for a broad range of ailments such as: nausea, motion sickness, diarrhea, colic, arthritis, rheumatism, colds flus, headaches, poor circulation and heart conditions. In Asia is it considered a longevity herb.

Plantain/Comfrey/Self-Heal/Chickweed salve – All of these herbs have excellent wound healing properties and one or all of them alone, or in combination with the above mentioned Calendula and St John’s Wort, would make a great salve or ointment for most skin ailments you may encounter.

St John’s Wort salve – While many people these days are aware of St John’s Wort for it’s anti-depressant benefits, they may not be aware that it is one of the best topical antiinflammatory and wound healing herbs to be found. Some of the ailments that can be helped by the topical use of St John’s Wort include bruises, wounds, burns, hemorrhoids, sunburn, herpes sores, varicose veins, sciatica, nerve pain, rheumatism and arthritis.

Yarrow – Yarrow is considered a common weed, but is an extremely useful one (as most weeds are). It is an antiseptic, antispasmodic, astringent, digestive and tonic herb. It can be used for colds and flu, stomach ulcers, amenorrhea, abdominal cramps, abscesses, trauma and bleeding, and to reduce inflammation.

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photo: TomCurtis-FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Homeopathic Remedies: For homeopathic remedies, choosing the 6c or 30c potency is usually the best option for laypersons and those potencies are readily available. Dosage, in acute conditions, may be 1 or 2 pellets repeated every 1/2 to 1 hour if necessary, up to 3 doses. Dosage frequency can then be reduced to 3 times a day for a couple of days, if necessary.

Aconite – This remedy is considered the “A” in the ABC of Children’s Remedies. Aconite is indicated at the onset of chills and colds, especially those that begin after exposure to a cold wind.

Symptoms can include frequent sneezing, hot clear liquid from the nose, fever and thirst.

Aconite is also indicated for mental trauma, fear and shock. Irritability, restlessness and anxiety are often present.

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Apis – This is a great remedy for stings and bites, especially those of wasps and other insects. It is particularly indicated in bites that burn, itch, sting and swell with redness and heat and feel better with cool applications.

Arnica – One of the most well known homeopathic remedies, Arnica is an excellent first aid treatment for physical trauma of any kind.

Falls, bruises, strains, wounds, muscle soreness and swelling yield particularly well to Arnica. It also available in cream form.

Arsenicum – Arsenicum has many uses, one of which is for vomiting and nausea due to food poisoning – particularly from bad meat. It is also an excellent remedy for colds with painful sneezing and thin, watery nasal discharge, where the person is very chilly and thirsty, but only for small sips of water.

Belladonna – This remedy is the “B” in the ABC’s of Children’s Remedies. It is indicated in conditions like fevers and headaches where there is sudden

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Chamomile – Chamomile is the “C” in the ABC’s of Children’s Remedies. One of the symptoms that almost always indicates this remedy is that one cheek is hot and red, while the other is cold and pale. Useful for teething infants, pain and fever, especially in those who are very sensitive to pain.

Other symptoms are intense irritability, restlessness, temper tantrums and children who only calm down when carried.

Hypericum – This remedy is extremely helpful in wounds and trauma that involve nerve endings, fingers, toes or spine or those injuries that cause intense pain. Examples are slamming fingers in the door or stubbing the toe.

Ledum – Ledum is the prime remedy to use for puncture wounds. It is also useful for bites and stings that feel cold (opposite of Apis, above).

Nux Vomica – This remedy is indicated in indigestion, nausea and vomiting which results from nervous strain, stress, overwork or overindulgence in food and drink – the hangover

remedy. It is also useful in colds where the nose streams in a warm room, but is stuffed up at night.

The person is extremely chilly, cannot warm up and is very irritable.

Pulsatilla – Pulsatilla also can be indicated in indigestion, but from rich or fatty foods. However, it is better known for conditions such as earaches, headaches and colds. In all cases there is usually thirstlessness, amelioration from the open air and aggravation from warm, stuffy rooms.

Rhus Tox – Useful in cases of joint injuries, sprain, muscular stiffness after over-exertion or exposure to cold and wet conditions, Rhus Tox is also a great remedy for poison oak and chicken pox, as well as colds and coughs. Some of the main symptoms indicating this remedy are restlessness, feeling worse from beginning to move, but feeling better after continued motion, feeling worse at night and from uncovering, but better from warmth.

photo: www.flickr.com/photos/breki74

onset, throbbing pains, red, hot skin and dilated pupils. It can also be used for scalds or burns, if there is throbbing present and inflammation is starting.

Urtica Urens – This is an excellent remedy for first degree burns as well as sunburn and nettle stings, or other rashes from plant contact.

Vanessa Nixon Klein has been studying and using medicinal herbs for the last 17 years. She earned her DiHom in Homeopathy from the British Institute of Homeopathy in 2009 and is currently a student of Traditional Naturopathy. She is the Mama to 3 adorable girls, ages 11, 9 and 7, is the founder, chief formulator and CEO of Herbs of Grace Natural Look Mineral Makeup and is a belly dance instructor as well as the owner of Herbs of Grace Healing Arts where she is a Natural Health Consultant. She lives in Mossyrock, WA with her husband, Brad, their girls, and many small, furry animals.

Connect with Vanessa at her websites: www.herbsofgrace.com www.herbsofgrace.com/Homeopathy Her blog: www.herbsofgrace.com/Blog On FaceBook: www.facebook.com/HerbsofGraceNaturalLookMineralMakeup www.facebook.com/HerbsofGraceHealingArts On Twitter: twitter.com/#!/HerbsofGrace

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this + that The Moore Family Folk Art Creating Colorful Art out of Primarily Salvaged and Repurposed Materials

by Deidre Dowling Price and Sarah Rees At eighteen years old, Alan Moore put watercolor to rice paper, painting three children on a swing set in response to the senioryear task of studying primitive art and creating a primitive art piece. The two-dimensional, childlike “Lil’ Bobby, Lil’ Billy, Lil’ Suzie” took honorable men-tion at a countywide high school art exhibit that year, an antecedent to the folk art he would produce in the days ahead. Eighteen years later, Alan finds himself in a familiar scene: the family swing set and the fantastical world of folk art he shares with his own children.

Alan Moore’s eye for art in whatever surrounded him also began in early childhood. His father Ron remembers well: “When Alan was a child, he would commandeer paper towel rolls, small boxes, and lots of Scotch tape. From these, he would build elaborate buildings. He also played for hours sculpturing scenes, such as Thanksgiving. These scenes included the surroundings which ranged from the table settings to people to animals.”

In middle and high school, Alan found himself drawn toward drafting, shop and art. Despite somewhat failed lackluster attempts in the ceramics realm, still life and other techniques, Alan had found something special in the primitive folk art realm, which emphasizes cultural identity and serves a combination of utilitarian and decorative purposes.

At the start of college, Alan further explored the possibilities folk art offered as he experimented with watercolors on recycled papers,

You can learn more about The Moore Family Folk Art by visiting them online at www. themoorefamilyfolkart.com.

Deidre Dowling Price is a mom of two who cofounded The Sundry Folk Festival with her husband and serves as Professor of English at Northwest Florida State College.

Sarah Rees is creative wife, homemaker, and artist living in sunny Florida.

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painting those same children on the swing set in other settings—at the park, in a tree house, and at the beach under the stars.

But freshman year also marked the start of a ten-year moratorium for Alan’s artistic endeavors. Alan explains, “I didn’t give up art or lose a love for it. I just got busy with earning a degree, hanging with friends, graduating from college, starting a career, getting married and having chil-dren. Life was busy. I think the desire was always there and expressed, not in visual art, but other ways.”

In the summer of 2004, with two kids in tow and another on the way, Alan and his wife Lori spent a summer in Colorado at the Rocky Mountain National Forest YMCA mentoring college students. The change of scene and pace meant an immersion in mountain air, readings, and weekly trips to the artsy city of Boulder.

And, for Alan, it translated into a reawakening of the keen ability to see art in whatever surrounded him. The summer culminated with

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Alan’s return-ing to Florida with a newfound urgency to return to art.

Self-taught, as most folk artists are, and supporting a family of five, Alan made use of whatever was around him, starting with salvaged and upcycled materials, using an abundance of old wood fence. Alan regularly visited the local dump, finding half-used house paint cans about to be shipped to the landfill.

Alan’s artistic world was in a state of revival.

Consequently, in the first several years of this renewed love for art, Alan signed his work not with his proper name, but with “Alan’s Folk Art Revival.”

The Folk Art Revival led to his first exhibit in Gainesville, Florida, in 2006. From there, Alan began to sell his work online in 2008.

Alan’s Folk Art Revival changed in 2010 when Alan’s daughters, Isabella, 10, and Emma, 8, began creating their own folk art alongside him. Much like Alan in childhood, Isabella and

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reservation.

Witnessing the girls’ ability to flow from a natural desire to make something beautiful has stretched Alan artistically over the last year and a half since The Moore Family Folk Art began.

Emma have always gravitated toward coloring, drawing, painting and constructing structures out of pa-per towel tubes, cardboard rolls and rolls of tape. By that September, Alan had helped them start their own online gallery on Etsy and shortly after their work joined his at galleries, art shows, and exhibits. With this shift toward family-generated upcycled art, The Moore Family Folk Art was born.

Making art together benefited the Moore family in numerous ways. Isabella and Emma take part in shows, helping to set up and sell the art they create, exposing them to art at an early age, let-ting them discover what might be their profession, a serious side business, or even just a hobby in the coming years, and even earning them some extra spending money. The boys—Aidan, 5; Liam, 3; and Kian, 4 months— are sure to join the family art events when they are older. For Alan, working alongside the girls means gaining a new perspective on the possibilities of his own art. Alan admits that being in his mid-thirties means occasionally limiting himself to his norm, like patterns or materials that have worked in the past. His daughters, on the other hand, tend to be open and free with their style, creating with little

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Currently, the Moores’ art is displayed in several galleries in the Florida Panhandle. Each year the family attends a half dozen art shows and also tries to hang at least one full gallery exhibit with every piece reflecting the family’s creativity and environmental stewardship. Ninety-nine percent of the Moores’ art is generated from salvaged, recycled, and upcycled materials.

Even garbage bound for the landfill becomes what the Moore family calls “pre-art,” which is reused and transformed into art.

For the Moores, being a good steward of God’s creation extends beyond making art from salvaged materials. The whole family works toward the goal of making and keeping a “green” household, maintaining a chemical-free home, eating natural foods, and participating in suburban gardening.

Alan’s new side project, Sweet Tater’s Junkyard Art, focuses on decorative art for your home.

While these works are also created from salvaged, upcycled, and repurposed materials, they ap-pear in final form as is, without paint.

Antique woods, metals, kitchen utensils, and hardware are brought together and shown weathered by use, sun, wind, rain, and time.

The Moores are especially busy with a number of green initiatives in the coming months, starting with The Moore Family Folk Art Exhibit at Amavida Coffee in Rosemary Beach, Florida, this September. This month-long exhibit, with allnew folk art made from salvaged materials, focuses on family unity and green living. The eight pieces are collaborations Isabella, Emma, and Alan have made to encourage families to find time with one another, whether that provides an oppor-tunity to create art, enjoy nature or take a road trip.

In addition to the art exhibits, the Moores also sell their work at three galleries in the Florida Panhandle: Full Circle Gallery in Fort Walton Beach, Big Mama’s Hula Girl Gallery in Grayton Beach, and The Blue Giraffe in Watercolor, Florida.

The family will soon expand to the West Coast when their work becomes available at Matter, a gallery in Olympia, Washington, which carries art made from salvaged, upcycled, and recycled materials. The Moores also sell their work online at www.folkartistalanmoore.etsy.

com and www.lilsistersfolkart.etsy.com.

A lot has happened since Lil’ Suzie, Billy, and Bobby jumped out of Alan’s imagination and onto the watercolor swing set, but for the whole

Moore family, this is just the beginning. Alan says, “I don’t feel talented in the sense that I can look at an object and paint it as is. I just have a ton of creative juice, and a ton of junk in my garage and both have got to be used, or I feel like explod-ing.”

Passing on the love of creating and upcycling to his children ensures that this suburban family will be sharing art with a side of home-grown veggies for many years to come.

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root + stem

Watercolor Gratitude Banner Tutorial

by Erin Wallace

With autumn comes Thanksgiving, a season to reflect and think of what we are grateful for.

This year, we made a banner with a single word that best reflects our gratitude in the year 2011.

Words like laughter, outdoors, camping, hope, love, music are all thoughts that came to my mind when choosing the word. With some separation from daddy and a pending adoption we’ve been so thankful for the moments of family this year when all of us were together.

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Here are the materials used for our banner:

Watercolor Gratitude Banner

With Autumn comes Thanksgiving, a season to reflect and think of what we are grateful for. This year, we made a banner with a single word that best reflects our gratitude in the year 2011. Words like laughter, outdoors, camping, hope, love, music are all thoughts that came to my mind when choosing the word. With some separation from daddy and a pending adoption weʼve been so thankful for the moments of “family” this year when all of us were together.

Here are the materials used for our banner: • Watercolor paper (2 sheets of 15 X 20 inches) • Watercolor paints (you can talk of the colors of autumn and see if your child would like to use these) • A deckle ruler (is not necessary, but I find it very useful and quick for many crafts) • Photographs (to reflect your word) • Photo corners, glue stick or tape • Colored Pencils (for writing and coloring) • Hole punch • Yarn, ribbon, or string.

Please view the tutorial for banner instructions and may your family create together in gratitude! If you have trouble downloading please email ashley@bamboofamilymag. com for the pdf file.

1. Watercolor paper (2 sheets of 15 X 20 inches) 2. Watercolor paints (you can talk of the colors of autumn and see if your child would like to use these) 3. A deckle ruler (is not necessary, but I find it very useful and quick for many crafts) 4. Photographs (to reflect your word) 5. Photo corners, glue stick or tape 6. Colored Pencils (for writing and coloring) 7. Hole punch 8. Yarn, ribbon, or string

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root + stem

Freezer Paper T-Shirt Printing Tutorial

by Christine Boos Knudsen Christine Boos Knudsen, MAT, MA has been a fine art educator in a public high school for over 10 years. Prior to her teaching career she was a freelance graphic designer with a passion for photography and all things crafty. Along with her mother Janet, she is the co-owner of Knoodle Knits, an online shop dedicated to the design and creation of unique knit and crocheted items for babies and children at http://www.myknoodleknits.com. Christine lives in the mountains of NJ with her husband, Troy, and their very energetic 2-year-old.

Materials needed to create your own t-shirts: 1. Plastic coated freezer paper 2. X-Acto knife 3. Iron 4. T-shirt 5. T-shirt printing ink or fabric paint 6. Foam brush 7. Design or image to work with

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As a knitter, my son has always had a huge stash of longies and shorties to wear. But a newborn, his outfits didn’t always match.

Like many moms, I struggled to find matching tops to compliment his bottoms.

Thankfully, my background in graphic design and my career as a high school art teacher allowed me to create my own silkscreen printed t-shirts. I was thrilled that he had coordinating outfits, but this gave me another problem to solve. The chemicals used in the silkscreen process are very toxic, and not something that I wanted to be exposed to as a nursing mother.

In fact, since the birth of my son, I have sought alternative, environmentally friendly, less toxic, processes for a lot of the art techniques that I practice and teach. Then I discovered freezer paper.

That’s right, the very stuff you buy in the supermarket to wrap your food in. With a little experimentation I was able to find a comparable method to silk screening for creating custom printed t-shirts.

I regularly use this process for creating matching tops for the longies that I knit. I have even taught my high school students how to use this method, which they tell me “is pretty cool”. The best part, you can do this at home for very little expense. Plus, it’s a lot better for you, your children, and the environment.

Download the tutorial for instructions on how to create your own freezer paper printed t-shirt.

Or visit Knoodle Knits’ Blog by clicking here.

Freezer Paper T-shirt Printing Tutorial This tutorial will teach you how to create your own ‘screen printed’ items using ordinary freezer paper. This tutorial is written for adults, but may be done with children under close adult supervision.

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shoots + leaves

Juney Bloom

™

by Susan Exley

Photography: JaTawny M. Chatmon Styling: Isabelle Philogene Location: www.OrchardCreekFarmSite.com

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a handcrafted collection of clothing for very special little girls made from all natural fabrics including cotton, linen and silk.

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Susan continues to be inspired by the textures of classic fabrics, the timeless forms of nature and a palette of colors that comfort and energize.

Distilling the essence of these elements, she infuses them with a playful, childlike spirit and fashions them into an array of elegantly simple attire that is at once traditional, innovative and a whole lot of fun!

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Susan is inspired by her love of music, dance, flowers and all things whimsical.

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Juney’s Taigan Shop Juney can also be

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shoots + leaves

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photography by rebecca coyle

“We believe that every child without family is tragic” Our family is on a wonderful journey of adopting from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. My husband, Chris and I truly enjoy parenting and the idea of adoption is so exciting to us. We believe that every child without family is tragic, and in the Congo the need is so great: hundreds of thousands of children have been orphaned because of the civil war (the deadliest war since World War II, claiming an estimated 5 million lives, half of which are children under the age of 5), the Congo is the second worst country in the world where sexual violence to women occurs and the death rate of Congolese children ages 0 - 5 is one of the highest on the planet. Our hearts are set on a baby girl as we hope to prevent the terrible possibilities of what can happen there to even one of them.

The cost of the adoption is expensive, and though we have some savings, it isn’t enough for us to complete our adoption. Our desire is to raise the funds as soon as possible to cover the entire cost. Using my love of art I have created a line of unique hand dyed, linoleum-cut and stamped t-shirts we call Dandelion Dream. Chris chose that name and I think it perfectly fits our desire, hope, and dream of bringing a new little one into our family. We invite you to join in our Dandelion Dream to bring our baby girl home! All sales go directly to our adoption fund. I also have listed on my blog other ways to get involved.

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“our desire, hope, and dream... bringing a new little one into our family� f a l l 2011

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Erin Wallace is married to a loving husband and the mother of two wee ones. She is currently enjoying life with her sweet family in Virginia. As a mama she has learned to refocus on the daily beauty of small things, simple moments of sitting, playing, drawing and creating together. She blogs at Tiny Twist Creative and sells her lino-cut designs at Dandelion Dream.

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hand picked

The Original Tree Swing Shop

Handcrafted Wooden Toys with Heart + Soul!

by Anni Daulter In 2009, Bill was unemployed and like many others, having a very difficult time finding work. His girlfriend, Joyce, challenged him to design five toys, build a website, identify a list of potential retailers to carry his toys, and launch the whole thing in two weeks. He did and The Original Tree Swing was born on September 23, 2009.

The first toy that he made was a tree swing for his kids earlier that summer. He says, “It was so simple, a rope and a disc of reclaimed wood, but the kids spent the whole summer playing on it. I remember being amazed at how much they enjoyed it.”

These toys truly stand out and when I first saw them, I knew the maker was really putting his heart into creating them. When I met the creator, Bill, I found my suspicions to be true. He is a quirky dude with a passion for the creative and for allowing children to explore their natural world through their imaginations. Supporting real artisans is something I think we should all do and hearing his sweet story just made me believe it all the more!

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When I asked Bill why he thinks children should play with natural toys, he gave an impassioned response! He said, “When we design our toys we try to do a couple of things. First, we identify how we can make the toy using the most responsible resources. Typically that is reclaimed wood, but always it is with natural materials, wood, leather, and natural fibers.

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Natural toys such as these help to foster a healthy imagination in children and Bill’s toys and tree swings are top notch! I am so excited to have one swinging from the trees in my new back yard and my children couldn’t be happier.

(We have some amazing new craft kits coming out this Fall that will use wool, and other natural fibers.) Second, we try to inject each toy with possibilities so that children can use their imaginations to bring the toy to life. For example we don’t put faces on our knights or dragons so that children can imagine them the way they in vision them to be and change them based on their mood.

We try to take elements out of our toys that would limit a child’s imagination.”

Check out his hand crafted goodies at The Original Tree Swing.

Send Bill a note and join his Facebook page and receive 5% off your purchases through the end of October.

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Barnwood

bamboo décor

The

Talking Story of

“

”

& Other Salvaged Materials

by Anni Daulter

Take an old barn, mix it with the love of vintage, creativity and a little paint and what do you get? Seriously amazing furniture! For this issue, and the Bamboo Décor debut, I went on a hunt, much like these folks do for the best re-purposed and salvaged material pieces I could find.

I mixed that with some inspiring Rodney White prints and finished it off with the perfect fall cozy blanket and found myself truly inspired. I LOVE old things that have been given new life, have been transformed from one thing to something completely different, and I love a warm and cozy home.

When I began this piece, I came across a gentleman who calls himself “Bug,” yep, “Bug”! I watched a video where he was wandering around an old junkyard just searching through old scraps of wood from a barn. He carefully handpicked pieces and put such love and care into choosing each piece of wood. I figured this guy doesn’t make furniture, he creates a home; he gives these scraps a reason for living. He creates tables that allow families to gather around and eat their meals, coat racks to hang

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scarves and sweaters after a long day, and bed frames for folks to lay their heads at night. Even more amazing than that, he knows the history of each piece he creates.

Well, as you can imagine, this guys intrigued me, so I had to call him and find out what makes him tick and his business run. What I found out is that he not only runs a successful business, he cares about his community by mentoring kids and the homeless. This conscious-minded artist answered a few questions about this amazing process.

fall photo: 2011

michael “bug” deakin

table photos: rebecca coyle

Michael “Bug” Deakin, owner and operator of Heritage Salvage, told me the story about his passion for repurposing and finding his own treasures. He repurposed a 1930’s chicken barn for his offices and started Heritage Salvage in Petaluma, CA twelve years ago after being asked to build a house that looked 100 years old. He researched materials and gathered all his wood for this project from old barns, ultimately resulting in an amazing Tuscan-style home. This effort led him down the path of several more jobs and his love of not only the materials, but the history of the wood, became a passion. He says he loves the “talking story” of the salvaged wood, and when he creates a piece of furniture, the transformation of each piece becomes a part of the story of that wood.

What really impressed me about the “Bug” was his business philosophy Heritage Salvage

of running Heritage Salvage like a family and supporting his local community through mentoring programs and donated items like a playground built from old farm wood from that particular community. He even mentored and hired folks from the local homeless shelter and at risk youth programs.

Chris Cheek mentoring Laykinb

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The Lorimer Workshop

I also found a couple of other amazing guys who use repurposed materials and believe in creating something new from the old. David Ellison from The Lorimer Workshop and John Duffy from Stable Tables focus on tables, do great work and are also dedicated to these repurposing efforts. David’s beautiful white-washed tables and John’s deep dark wood choices make for the perfect combination of “rustic chic” furniture that not only compliments any home, but has heart and soul.

On the environmental side of why these efforts are important, David says, “I am constantly disturbed by the level of waste we create in our society. So many manufacturers today set their business goals upon planned obsolescence. We discard tremendous quantities of very valuable resources. We can no longer afford to generate such waste. Our landfills are full, we pollute and we barely replenish even those resources that can be sustained. Old growth lumber has almost disappeared.”

From the purely creative side of matters, John said, “One of my most favorite pieces that I created was a coffee table with a wood top and salvaged iron base. I loved it because it was the first I did photos: rebecca coyle

The Lorimer Workshop

using wood and iron and it was a collaborative effort between myself and someone I care very deeply about. “ Being a part of the Ikea generation, I have somewhat taken my furniture for granted. I have not gathered pieces that have the heart and soul of history behind it, and before writing this article, did not even think about it. After talking with

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Stable Tables

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the “Bug”, David and John, I have a new reverence for what goes in my home, and what will be used as my children’s play table, our family dining table, and where we hang our coats.

These pieces of furniture will now be a part of our family’s “talking story” and will hold the memories of our dinner conversations, my children’s coloring and painting. So the next time you are in need of a new table for example, think about it and consider going “old.” Think about the possibility of buying pieces of furniture that have a talking story that will become a part of your family history and remember that these are what helps make your house a home.

photos: rebecca coyle

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Heritage Salvage Table

Add to the rustic charm of this dĂŠcor style a handmade blanket by Celeste from Crickets Creations, and you have instantly given warmth to your hearth that you did not even know was missing. Cozy up your home this fall with one of these beauties!

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Given my new-found love for this furniture, I am also excited to announce that I have partnered up with David and The Lorimer Workshop crew, and we are creating kids tables and benches! Keep a look out for the weekly win where we giveaway a hand crafted kids table and bench made from historical

If you want to try refreshing some of your old pieces of furniture by giving it that rustic look, try using milk paint.

Simply sand down your old piece of furniture, apply milk paint + a sealer and you will start your own rustic furniture collection! The Old Fashioned Milk Paint Co., Inc.

Community is a Way of Life ...rebuild ...repurpose ...restore ...respect and reclaim our communities. ..we sell wood, flooring, paneling, timbers, hand hewn beams, and more... we build custom furniture, we create whole rooms and homes, restaurants and commercial venues!

We love what we do!

Let’s fix this country the way it got built not the way it got broke(n)!

Heritage Salvage.com is now collaborating in WA, ID, OR, WI, OH, HI, CA and soon to be distributing on the east coast with

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Handmade with love blankets + scarves

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show + tell featured

fall faves

How cute are these hooks?

These willow wall hooks are perfect for scarves, hats, nightgowns and dog leashes.

The Bent Tree Gallery Hooks Knits for mama to stay warm and fashionable this fall!

reet t s r and e d e t Ann t i n and-K hion H l a Origin chet Fas Cro Envirosax products are an inexpensive and fashionable alternative to traditional disposable plastic bags. They are small and easy to carry but store a ton of groceries.

Happy Sustainable Shopping!

Nova Naturals Table Top Easels

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These are great for little kids who want to join in the painting! We LOVE Nova!

eusab R x a s Enviro g Bag Shoppin

Protect your growing baby from everyday radiation with this comfy blanket.

Great for laptop users. It really works!

gnancy e r P MF E r o ield m h r S A a i y d Ra Bell y b t e Blank

Go plasticfree! We love everything at Life Without Plastic, but these are awesome for your child’s lunches at school!

Life Without P lastic Lunch Containe rs These handmade dryer balls work amazingly well… there’s no need to purchase expensive, fragrance-filled dryer sheets anymore! They naturally soften clothes and reduce static and drying time.

Wooly Roun ds Dryer Balls

ble GGO is a must-have for any eco-mom on the go!

GGO bamboo clothes are grown without the use of pesticides, fertilizer or irrigation water. Their clothing is petroleum free, naturally sustainable and sewn locally!

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show + tell

baby

picks

Alcohol, paraben and sulfate free! Because they are made from bamboo, Bumboosa Wipes are naturally anti-microbial, renewable and very soft. Bumboosa is so dedicated to being sustainable that they will up-cycle the empty wipes bags to create shopping bags!

ipes W a s o umbo

B

Fiesta Kids B outique Baby Slippers These are the cutest baby slippers ever! Handembroidered pumpkins decorate these wool slippers – perfect for autumn outfits.

Crochet Hat

by Morgan’s Boutique

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This seriously cute and cozy baby owl hat is created with non-allergenic yarns.

The perfect hat to keep baby warm this fall!

We heart these diaper bags!

Eco-friendly and stylish, these bags are water-resistant and pvc and phthalate free.

ions t c e l l o C JJ Cole r Bags Diape

Keep your baby warm with these Certified Organic Merino Wool thermals. They are never itchy or scratchy! Great for jammies!

Zoe Organics

Nature Baby Th ermals

For all of your baby body care needs! Zoe uses pure, organic ingredients and most products have received a perfect score of “zero� for toxins in the Skin Deep Cosmetic Database.

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show + tell

family faves Wrecked Chalk boards

k” “Talking Stic Sticks

by Bear Paw

This is a great tool when having family discussions. The stick gets passed around so each person has their chance to speak while all others only listen.

Note to all teachers: this is a great tool to have in the classroom as well!

These chalkboards are great for any room in the house!

Add one of these stylish boards to your kitchen for your grocery and to-do lists!

Linen ComfortPlus Organic Pillows

Ruby Bla ise Essen tials

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These fabulous energetic mists smell amazing and are filled with blends that truly affect how you feel.

Our faves are the Hippy Mist, Calm Bar and Happy Jar. They’re fantastic!

So incredibly comfy and supportive! These pillows really are worth every penny!

Certified organic.

Transform communication challenges in your family, school or business, and within yourself.

This game is fun for everyone – from 5-95 – and will help you learn how to resolve conflict at the same time!

To say that Tegu is just a box of blocks is only scratching the surface of this imaginative set of magnetic building blocks. This Honduras based company is part humanitarian project and part sustainable toy company and tree planting service!

Game e n o ult Z a F o N

Tegu Blocks

Haba Games

This creative activity kit is great for car rides and restaurants! An eart-friendly product that includes virtuallyodorless dry erase markers, magnets and is packaged with recycled materials and eco-friendly inks.

You can’t go wrong with children’s games that are both fun and ecofriendly! Check out Inspector Rabbit and Animal Upon Animal Balancing Bridge—tons of fun!

from Chalkboard Travel Kit Down To Earth Toys

Innovative Kids Play, Draw, Create

Your kiddos can play with this on every adventure!

The wood case is coated with handrubbed beeswax.

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practicing happy with Tim Daulter Tim Daulter is a recovering chemical engineer and management consultant. Currently a father to four great kids, husband to an amazing spouse and Finance Director at Highland Hall Waldorf School, he is the author of the Practicing Happy Blog and offers talks and workshops about the Happiness Workout: www.wordpress.com/timdaulter

Harvesting Joy Forgiveness is the most powerful practice that you can use to improve the quality of your life.

However, it is also the most misunderstood. In our culture, forgiveness is seen as a gift given to the person who is forgiven. While being forgiven can make a person feel better, the true value of an act of forgiveness is the effect that it has on the forgiver. True forgiveness does not pardon, it does not condone, it does not say that what occurred is all right or ok to happen again. True forgiveness is the release of all anger and attachment to an event or experience. When something “bad” happens to you, something that you didn’t want, something that really hurts you, the anger that you carry from that event will continue to affect you every day until you have processed and released it. The cumulative effect of these traumas over a lifetime (or several lifetimes) is the state of fear and anxiety that many of us live in. We don’t truly express ourselves, pursue our passions, or live and love fully and completely, all because we are afraid of getting hurt again. The only way to get back to our natural state of immense joy and freedom is to heal these wounds; to forgive and release them all. As you do

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this, you will peel off layers of unresolved hurt, guilt and trauma allowing you to open yourself up to experience love and compassion with a deep feeling of inner peace.

Whenever I think of forgiveness at the extreme, I think of a movie I saw titled Amish Grace. Amish Grace was a movie on the Lifetime network based on a real event that happened in Lancaster, PA, not too far from where I live now outside of Philadelphia. The story centers on a small Amish schoolhouse where one morning, a local resident (not Amish) entered the school with several guns.

He released all of the boys and began shooting the girls one by one. Before killing himself, he had wounded or killed close to ten little girls (see here for more information on the shooting). The movie focused on the response of the Amish community to the event, to the shooter and to the shooter’s family, who lived in the local area. Immediately on the day of the shooting the Amish community expressed forgiveness and compassion for the shooter and his family. Their religious beliefs, which are omnipresent in this ultra-committed religious sect,

focus on the release of any hatred or grudge. As a result, even in these horrendous circumstances, they were able to forgive immediately and completely. This is an incredibly powerful and moving story and I highly recommend the film.

Anger is raw and reactive while Love is primal and proactive. Our practice needs to be one that breaks the cycle of reactivity whenever our raw spots are touched. We need to take conscious control of our minds. Love is what we are, so it will win out over anger as long as we make the decision that is what we want and we put in the time and effort to change our habit of reacting to attack with more attack. To change any habit, you must first change your mind. The way that the Amish people view life is that they do not need to judge, punish or avenge the acts of others because everyone will stand before the judgment of a just God in their own time. Since the Amish community built their entire lives around this concept and their religious practice, which includes daily reminders to forgive, release hate and dissolve all grudges, they built up their “forgiveness muscles”. Then, when confronted with a tragedy of unimaginable proportions they were able to fall back on their habit of forgiveness, process what happened and release it without letting it destroy them.

Of course the Amish view of a just God who takes care of handing out all of the appropriate punishments is not a requirement to be able to forgive, and there are plenty of other ways to look at the world that give the same result. For example A Course in Miracles (ACIM) teaches that the world we experience as our reality is actually an illusion, like a daydream about events that happened in a different time and place. Since it is actually a dream, then there is nobody else, just you as the dreamer, so there is nobody with which to be angry. (Please note that ACIM is a very complex and layered thought system and I

am not doing it justice – you may want to check out Gary Renard’s books for a good introduction to it). Using this thought system, you then take everything that happens all the time and forgive (i.e. release it). In the same way as with the Amish, you will change your habitual way of thinking, heal your old wounds and develop the ability to stay in love and joy no matter what happens in your life situation.

I have a slightly different take on it in my Practicing Happy approach. While this world may be a dream, I sure experience it as real, and the meaning that I give to this experience is what matters. I believe that before our souls were incarnated into our current lifetimes, we decided that there were certain experiences that we wanted to have, certain ways we wanted to grow, and certain ways that we wanted to express ourselves to help others. As a result, there is a destiny, or series of destinies, that we planned for ourselves, and of course, since we planned them for ourselves, then they are for our good, not our harm. So every time I face a challenge, or disaster, or other experience that doesn’t feel welcome in my life, I remember that this is a gift that I have given to myself. This experience is not here to hurt me, but to give me an opportunity to learn, to practice, to be an example for others or some other benefit to me. So when I get fired from a job, sued in court, have the bank place a two-week hold on a check that I need now, I look for the beauty in it. I find the opportunity and I live it, fully and completely. Sometimes it takes me longer than other others to find and live the beauty in an event, but when I do, without fail, I am overcome with joy and love for all things and experience the holy grail of life, happiness.

Be a warrior for happiness!

(It’s your birthright, you know)

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eco beauty bar

Eco-Beauty: Fall Trends at Your Local Health Food Store

by Christy Funk eco-beauty expert for bamboo magazine

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Christy Funk is the owner of Belly Sprout, Orange County, CA’s first natural parenting store and resource center. As a professional makeup artist for over 12 years, Christy has been researching natural options for the last 8 years and is helping women not only make the switch but continues her artistry work with her clients. She shares a home with her husband and two boys, aged 5 and 7.

Education is key when trying to decipher the labels on skincare and makeup products. It can certainly be a process as we sift through what is in our medicine cabinets and makeup bags, but what do we do in the meantime? What do we buy? Here you will find a shopping list, the ingredients to look out for as well as some stylish fall ideas. The products carried at local health food stores are not necessarily eco-luxury (there is a difference in quality) but there are still some great products you can pick up to get started. After shopping at our nearest health food store, reading the labels and testing new colors for fall, this is what I found.

Skincare Moisturizer:

Replacing your moisturizer should be a priority when going green. A moisturizer stays on the skin and is absorbed whereas a facial cleanser rinses off.

Watch out for: parabens, propylene glycol, DEA and fragrance, unless it is coming from high-quality essential oils.

Why: DEA is a known human respiratory toxicant, parabens are estrogen inducers which raise your cancer risk, propylene glycol is a skin irritant and can cause reproductive damages including cell mutations, fragrance (synthetic) is a neurotoxin and hormone disruptor. Try eco-brands that have minimal ingredients and use simple botanicals to help heal and nourish the skin.

Fall Trends: Keep your skin extra moisturized as soon as the weather gets colder. You want to keep your skin soft and supple so that any makeup you put on will glow.

Brands: My Chelle; Pumpkin Renewal Cream Alaffia; Rooibos and Shea Butter

Makeup It is easy to get carried away at the makeup counters even if those counters are tiny at your health food store. Who can resist a new shade of lip gloss or a sparkly new eye shadow? For the sake of keeping within a budget and simplifying our

shopping list, let’s stick to three items: foundation, mascara and lipstick. These beauty products are the most crucial to switch out as they contain heavy toxins in the form of parabens, mercury and lead.

Foundation Watch out for: Bismuth Oxychloride Why: Bismuth Oxychloride is a heavy metal added to loose mineral powders to give it a lustrous sheen. The problem is that one in four women will react to it.

There are plenty of so-called famous, “natural” lines in the mall which add this unnecessary ingredient into their makeup. Luckily there are some beautiful alternatives which provide a great coverage. Also to add, if you have suffered any heavy-metal toxicity health issues, Bismuth Oxychloride will make your blood-level tests sky rocket! Who needs this?

Fall Trends: Fall is showcasing some matte looks for the face, but to keep the skin glowing I love to see a little natural sheen. Instead of going for the matte foundation, just use a little pressed powder to soften the oils on your skin. When testing for a new foundation it’s important to test at the jaw line. The color should melt into your skin and disappear. If you see a streak that looks white or too dark, keep searching.

Brands: Larenim

Mascara Watch out for: Mercury (mercuric acid, phenyl mercuric acetate, phenyl mercuric benzoate, phenyl mercuric bromide, phenyl mercuric chloride and phenyl mercuric borate) Why: Mercury can cause brain damage, lead to cardiovascular disease and has even been linked to autism. We know that mercury can be in our fish supply but who knew that it was in our mascara?

Avoid any of the mascaras that aren’t eco, since the EWG (Environmental Working Group) has issued a warning that even minute amounts of mascara that clump off into our eyes is toxic.

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Lipcolor Watch out for: Lead (lead salt, lead diacetate and plumbous acetate) Why: This carcinogen as reported by the EPA is also a known respiratory toxin and has been banned in Europe since it being a potential link to fetal harm in the womb. So what is it doing in our lipsticks? We banned lead from gasoline and house paint years ago, yet when the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics did a study in 2007, over half of the 33 lipsticks tested contained lead. If you love gloss, lip balms or lipsticks please invest in your health and go green in this category.

Fall Trends: Rich, gorgeous hues of reds and plums are taking over the runways this fall. If you can’t carry off a bold lip color keep your fall look rich by using a lip tint in a richer color than your usual summer shimmer look.

Brands: Peacekeepers -- Lip gloss: V-day (cherry red), Unifem (brick red); Lipstick: Compassionate (red/brown), Wise (plum), Empowered (deep wine) Aubrey Lipgloss -- Ruby Frost (sheer red)

Fall Trends: There is a big move towards a dramatically lined eye, mostly using liquid black eyeliners. Whether or not you try this look, keep the mascara inky, close to the lash line and concentrate on the outer corners of your eye to give it a lift. Skip the bottom lashes as the focus this season is on top.

Brands: Dr. Haushka

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These products were chosen for their clean ingredients, quality of performance and color trends.

Since there wasn’t even a makeup counter at the health food store, the choices for color were very slim. The fall trends were chosen to mimic what is hot for the season while respecting the busy nature of Bamboo Conscious Family Moms! Just choose one or two trends and adapt it to your lifestyle. A very sheer, almost stain-like red can look lovely with an otherwise bare face. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s an eco-friendly choice!

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recommendations book

Ashley’s Picks:

book reviews

Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy

by Laura Keegan

Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy is simply a mustread for every pregnant woman and new mother.

Laura Keegan’s conscious, i n s i g h t f u l guidance walks the reader through the experience of breastfeeding, giving step-bystep instructions – but with nurturing soul. Keegan helps new mothers tune into their babies’ innate needs and into their own intuitions in order to in create the ideal breastfeeding environment.

Breastfeeding with Comfort and Joy helps nursing mothers overcome breastfeeding problems, advises on the most effective nursing positions, and assists in creating an ideal environment for breastfeeding to be successful for both mom and baby. With gorgeous photos and helpful information to get on the right track for feeding baby from the breast, this wonderful companion for nursing mothers clearly presents and explains everything from a proper latch to the importance of skin-to-skin contact to the beauty and patience inherent in the mother-baby connection. For more information and to purchase, click here.

Essential Nourishment: Recipes from My Estonian Farm

by Marika Blossfeldt Essential Nourishment is a book to cherish. Graced with gorgeous photos and abundant knowledge, it is more

than a cookbook – it is a holistic lifestyle companion that informs as well as inspires.

Marika Blossfeldt’s recipes are healthy, delicious and beautiful. Her approach to the art of eating will nourish the reader with her words and nourish the belly with naturally prepared goodness. Essential Nourishment encourages awareness of not only the foods we eat but of the “food-mood connection,” food energies and even discusses the importance of physical activity and relationships to support a lifestyle filled with conscious intention.

The Joy of Green Cleaning

by Leslie Reichert In The Joy of Green Cleaning, Leslie Reichert promotes the use of traditional cleaning products – the ones our grandmothers and greatgrandmothers used with effectiveness and ease.

She encourages the use of non-toxic products and recipes to do the same job as their toxic counterparts do, but without the caustic side effects! This incredibly helpful book gives you all you need to know to create your own natural cleaners.

Leslie’s cleaning recipes – from dishwasher powder to chrome polish and literally everything in between

-- have clear instructions and tips to set you on your way to a clean, green home! Her extensive list and description of toxic ingredients used in conventional cleaners will help you make informed choices for times when making your own may not be possible.

The Legend of the Wolves at Gunflint Lake

by Lisa Sellman Your child will be captivated as he cozies up by the fire with grandma while she reads The Legend of the Wolves at Gunflint Lake. With a focus on community, Native American heritage and respect for elders, this story helps keep alive the values and culture that is sadly becoming lost in today’s society. Children who experience this lovely story will learn of the importance of respecting nature and of the connection between people and animals.

They will learn of the importance of passing down traditions and the value of celebration of cultural heritage and community. The Legend of the Wolves at Gunflint Lake also includes discussion ideas to help deepen the lessons of the tale for young readers. An unconventional and inspiriting read!

Anni’s Picks: The

Organic Family Cookbook

By Anni Daulter Photography by Alexandra DeFurio Please check out Anni’s newest release, The Organic Family Cookbook. It is filled with organic goodies for families and tips on growing, greening and cooking together.

This is a small glimpse into the Daulter household and how to make living simple, delicious and fun!

Mom Energy

By Ashley Koff, R.D. and Kathy Kaehler This book, written by a nutritionsit and fitness expert, is an exciting new way for moms to tap into their own natural and renewable sources of energy to overcome fatigue and achieve their personal health goals. Koff and Kaehler have put together a safe, sensible, flexible, and, most importantly, effective program for moms of any age — whether their kids are in diapers or heading off to college.

Growing Up Sew Liberated: Making Handmade Clothes and Projects for Your Creative Child Meg McElwee I love this book!

It’s sew much fun!

Meg McElwee did it again and in this book she puts her signature sewing style into gorgeous children’s clothes and creative activity-focused designs. From simple clothing to toys, Growing Up Sew Liberated is packed with innovative, playful sewing patterns.

These books are now available in the Bamboo Bookshop! www.bamboofamilymag.com/shop

Precious Mama

photo: fred greissing

by Kristin Cruz

Radio personality Kristin Cruz chats with singer-songwriter Jewel about pregnancy, mothering and philanthropy You certainly couldn’t tell by her easy-going demeanor that Jewel is a multi-tasking mom, balancing her multi-platinum recording career with new motherhood.

Jewel and her husband, nine-time World Champion rodeo cowboy Ty Murray, recently welcomed their baby boy, Kase, into the world. We both managed to put our mics down to do a quick girl chat.

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With a new children’s CD, “The Merry Goes Round,” she shares with me her love of music, philanthropy and being a natural mama.

K: Being a nature-mama, how was it being pregnant for the first time and what did you do to stay healthy?

J: I had a great pregnancy. I was able to work-out right up until the end. I used natural remedies. Nausea for instance, can often stem from the liver trying to

handle all the hormones in your system.

For that I used “LIV-J” from Nature’s Sunshine. Also, magnesium keeps you regular - no girl should suffer through that! There is an herbal liquid that I like, an iron supplement, that doesn’t make your stomach sick. These were some of the ways I had a happy, fit pregnancy and didn’t have to suffer many of the ailments that go along with everything that’s already pretty hard about being pregnant!

K: And being pregnant has inspired you to do a new children’s CD… J: I really wanted to make a record that parents would enjoy as much as children.

When I first started listening to kids music I thought, “I don’t think I’m going to make it through this!” And the second reason is that I didn’t want to talk down to my child. I liked great music when I was a kid!

I didn’t want to talk down to children or insult parents at the same time.

I wanted to introduce kids to a world of music - different styles. I wanted tracks they can dance to and bop around in their little diapers. And for the older kids, cute stories they can get into the lyrics of.

It was fun for me to be able to write my son an album. It was an amazing experience while pregnant. [I thought] about lessons I wanted him to learn and ways of saying it that he can hopefully hear. For me it was a real gift.

K: As an eco-conscious family how are you making an impact beyond your home with your charitable work?

ago. Working on a village level, we help solve water problems around the world.

We’ve put in many wells in over 15 countries. More people die of water-born illnesses than if you combine cancer, aids and heart attacks all together and it’s completely solvable right now. It’s easy to have an impact. Water is a big one for me.

K: In this country we really take water for granted.

J: We definitely do. We’re so lucky. I grew up on a ranch in Alaska - we didn’t have running water. I was raised hauling water from the creek. So, having a faucet is the best luxury, and you wouldn’t realize it until it’s taken away from you.

K: Thanks for chatting! I want to welcome you into the Mom’s Club and can’t wait to meet “Ty Jr.” J: I’m excited to be a new member of the “Mom’s Club” and I have always been amazed by what women can do every day - now being pregnant and looking at motherhood, I’m even more amazed!

Jewel, Ty & baby Kase Townes happily reside on their ranch in central Texas. Learn more about Project Clean Water at www.

Jeweljk.com Kristin Cruz is co-host of The Mark & Kristin Morning Show on KOST 103.5 in Los Angeles. A former music video producer and KYXY 96.5 radio host, she currently is a sought-after voice artist. Kristen blogs at The Mommy Blog. Follow @KristinCruz on Twitter.

J: I started an organization when I was about 19, with my brother, back in ‘97 called Project Clean Water. I’ve funded it myself primarily until just a couple years

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positive touch for children

Boost Your Child’s Health and Well-Being - the Natural Way

by Mary Atkinson It is not easy being a child or teenager in the 21st Century.

Our young people are so often bombarded with physical and mental stresses, competitive pressures and high expectations from schools and peers. And in a society driven by computers, televisions, mobile phones and other high tech communication where is the space to find the peace and stillness? It is no wonder that so many people are suffering from stress-related conditions and behavior problems.

Touch is one of the most basic human needs, yet it is rapidly disappearing from our society with a detrimental impact on the community as a whole. A study conducted by the Touch Research Institute in Miami found that pre-school children who were touched more by their mothers and received positive touch from their friends on the playground suffered significantly less aggressive feelings towards themselves and others. Kerstin Uvnas-Moberg, author of The Oxytocin Factor, believes this is due to the release of oxytocin, often known as the

body + mind + spirit calming and relaxing hormone, which is activated by gentle massage and positive touch. Oxytocin counterbalances the negative effect of stress and anxiety and generates a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere.

Furthermore, the benefits of touch continue through adolescence and beyond. For Mia Elmsater, from Sweden and Sylvie Hetu from Canada, the value of nurturing and respectful touch for school age children led them to set up the internationally respected Massage in Schools Programme with the vision of introducing clothed peer massage into every classroom, every day, all over the world. Teachers and parents, and even the children themselves, are all noticing that regular massage helps improve concentration,

reduces stress and enhances general well-being.

So how can you help your child or teenager gain the benefits of healing touch? It’s very simple.

After all, we use the healing power of touch in our everyday lives, often without even realising it.

Think how you instinctively rub a sore spot to ease the pain or offer comforting strokes to reassure an anxious child or teenager. These are all basic forms of touch therapy that have been practised all over the world since ancient times. Using these natural healing techniques can be a very effective way of helping to reduce anxiety and ease minor ailments. The joy of gentle touch remedies and self-help techniques for children and teens is that they easy to use, free of charge, and can be applied just about anywhere, at any time with the minimum of fuss and preparation.

Tired Eyes

Working or playing at a computer screen or watching television can put a strain on the muscles of eyes and cause headaches and fuzzy vision. Relieve the strain by ‘palming’.

Place your warm hands (rub them together first) over your child’s closed eyes. Keep your fingers together to cut out as much light as possible.

Hold for as long as feels comfortable. Encourage your child or teen to do it for themselves. And do try it for yourself – you’ll be surprised how much clearer everything looks!

Photos courtesy Healing Touch for Children by Mary Atkinson and published by Gaia

Easing the Queasiness

When a child or teen suffers from travel sickness, long journeys by road, sea or air are miserable for everyone. You can buy antisickness bands which help ease the symptoms by working on an acupressure point (known as P6) on the wrist. But why not work the point yourself? First find the point on the inner arm. Ask your child to measure three finger widths up from the natural crease of the wrist, between the two tendons. Now support the wrist and apply gentle pressure with the pad of your thumb, or suggest that your child does this. Hold for as long as feels comfortable. Repeat on the other arm. Use before and during the journey to calm any queasy feelings.

Sweet Dreams

A regular bedtime massage can soothe your child, mentally and physically, encouraging a peaceful night’s sleep – for the whole family!

Start with your child lying on her front or side. Place both hands on her upper back, then trail one hand down the back

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with a long feather-like stroke over her pyjamas or nightdress.

When one hand reaches the lower back, the other one begins another stroke. Continue this flowing pattern with alternate hands stroking.

If your child is still awake, then ask her to roll over on her back and close her eyes. Make some gentle stroking movements on her forehead, working from the centre outwards with alternate hands, one stroke flowing smoothly into the next.

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What a Headache!

At the first signs of a headache, try easing the pain by massaging your child’s temples with small circular movements. Aim for at least 20 circles.

Keep the moves very slow and controlled. Then rest your hands gently on your child’s head. Hold for as long as feels comfortable for her.

Allow plenty of fresh air to circulate in the room. You can also teach your child or teen how to do this for themselves.

Feeling All Stuffed Up?

If your child or teen suffers from on-going sinus problems then this gentle massage routine – performed every day – can be most effective, either done by you or by themselves. Any ‘popping’ sensation is simply a sign that excess mucus is beginning to clear.

Place the pad of one or two fingers on the inner edge of each eyebrow, where the hairy bit ends. Make three small circular movements, keeping your touch very gentle.

Now stroke your fingers along the eyebrows, working from the inner to the outer corners.

Repeat.

Place the pad of one finger in the slight hollow on the outside edges of your child’s nostrils. Make three small circular movements. Now stroke your fingers along the line of your child’s cheekbones.

Repeat.

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Exam Stress

If your child gets anxious before exams try this simple stress-busting massage: With your child sitting, stand or sit behind. Rest your hands on her shoulders. Ask her to raise her shoulders as she breathes in, then release them as she breathes out a large sigh. Imagine she is letting go of all her worries. Repeat three times.

Now stroke your hands along your child’s shoulders and down the arms to the elbows. Release the pressure and glide gently back.

Repeat three times.

Encourage your child to drink plenty of water and take regular exercise to rid the body of stress hormones that can stop the brain functioning at full capacity.

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Anxiety Alert

Teach your child this simple and wonderfully discreet healing technique to help him stay cool in stressful situations. Try it for yourself too!

Grip your right thumb between the palm and fingers of your left hand.

Squeeze gently. Hold for a few moments, or until you feel a pulse. Release.

Move to your next finger and do the same. Repeat with all the fingers on your right hand.

Now repeat step 1 on your left hand, squeezing your thumb and all your fingers in turn. It’s amazing how much calmer and more focused you feel in yourself.

Natural healing methods are not a substitute for medical care and should not replace prescribed medication - always go to your doctor if you have any concerns about the health of your child or teenager. However, they can be used alongside any treatment recommended by your doctor and offer a way of working with your child to overcome everyday health problems together.

Mary Atkinson is a complementary therapist, tutor and author of Healing Touch For Children – Massage, Reflexology and Acupressure for Children from 4-12 Years Old (Gaia Books). This practical and accessible guide offers easy to follow step-bystep instructions with valuable health tips and advice. www.maryatkinson.com facebook.com/MaryAtkinsonHolisticTherapyCourses f a l l 2011

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Postpartum Sex Enhancing Parenthood with Couplehood

by Ana Paula Markel It is a common topic among new mothers. Sex: the lack of it or the joy of it. The most popular belief is that having a baby will compromise a couple’s sex life. Did you know that it does not have to?

Most books and medical providers will tell you that six weeks after giving birth, it is safe to resume sexual activity including intercourse. It takes the uterus about that long to go back to prepregnancy size. By this mark, bleeding should also be gone with any vaginal soreness caused by the birth. An interesting point about this timeline is that it is too generic. Many women may not be ready to resume intercourse by six weeks while others may not be able to wait that long.

A woman’s interest and physical ability for sex depends on her body’s healing ability, on the birth experience and on how the general postpartum period is being approached.

Sex, or lack of it, is generally a consequence of circumstances.

In many cultures, regardless of how easy the birth was, women are treated like queens for the six weeks of recovery.

There are meals prepared, household chores done and a lot of praises for the new mother which leads to photo: eva lempert

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Parenthood can be sexy. The language of romance changes with the arrival of a baby.

Before baby, romance means a fancy dinner, flowers, chocolate or a sexy movie. After baby, romance means an empty dishwasher, folded laundry and something warm and nutritious to eat. Partners that step up and help with household chores get a lot more loving than the ones that choose to let the mother figure it out on her own.

One of the most popular myths is that the vagina will not be the same after childbirth.

While that can be the case in very rare

the birth. Due to hormone levels, especially if breastfeeding, the vagina will be dry and lubrication will be welcome.

New parents have to get a little more creative in carving out some time to connect sexually.

While before baby you were able to be more spontaneous, with a family you may need to plan your rendezvous. Ask a family member to take your baby for a walk or to the park and stay home alone, just the two of you. You may also feel more in the mood for sex in the morning or during the day than before bed, as you may be too tired during the first few months.

As new parents when we are craving sex, we are ultimately craving a deep connection with our partners and intercourse is not the only way to achieve that. There are many different ways to be intimate: a bath together, a nice massage, spending a little time as a couple away from the baby, and don’t forget manual and oral stimulation.

Parenthood can be sexy. The

language of romance changes with the arrival of a baby.

circumstances, it is vital to remember that vaginas have more than one function. It is designed not only for baby making and pleasure but also for baby birthing. A woman with a healthy diet and strong kegel muscles will be able to stretch her healthy tissues to birth the baby and retract just like before

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Please remember that for a lot of civilized and polite women, labor may be the first experience a woman disconnects her body from her brain. When a woman is in the throes of labor, her neocortex (the thinking brain) shuts down and she becomes primal, finding the best coping options for labor. Laboring

photo: eva lempert

a rested, happy and confident woman. In our society and modern culture, women not only do not have support but have to take care of normal life (chores, work, etc.) along with a new baby. It’s no wonder new mothers are not in the mood for romance! Exhaustion is one of the main reasons sex after baby becomes challenging. If the mother is nourished, the better the chance for romance.

women learn that labor is more manageable and even pleasurable when they don’t think but act freely in a primal fashion to birth the baby. Months after the experience of giving birth with a quiet neocortex, a woman can connect once again with this magic with her partner. For the partner, watching the laboring woman become so free and primal can be extremely inspiring to invite that primal behavior to the couples sex life later. This is a part of the stories often left out... sex can be better after childbirth!

Whether it takes you four weeks or four months to get in the mood, communicate with your partner, especially if one of you wants sex and the other doesn’t. It is important to address the issue and to work towards a healthy sex life. A happy couple makes for happy parents.

Ana Paula Markel is the mother of four children. Having experienced two cesarean births, a medicated vaginal birth and a natural birth (in that order), she discovered a passionate interest in the childbirth process. Her goal is to assist mothers and families to explore the many options available in childbirth and to take responsibility of their choices. Ana is also a doula trainer for DONA International and has been mentoring new doulas for the past six years. In 2008 Ana found BINI Birth, a center in Los Angeles dedicated to the childbirth education field, doula training and green pregnancy retail.

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The Tummies

in reflection

Thoughts On Understanding Open Adoption

by Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser is a graduate of Hampshire College and the MFA for Writers Program at Warren Wilson College. Along with a personal blog, Standing in the Shadows, she writes for such publications as Babble, Huffington Post, Brain Child magazine, Literary Mama, and Preview Massachusetts magazine. As a writer and mama to four, she is pretty constantly busy.

Adoption, to a three year-old, is tummies. “You grew in your Auntie Cece’s tummy,” I found myself saying to my daughter, Saskia, one day this past winter. “I was waiting for you and waiting for you. I was there when you were born—and after you left Auntie Cece’s tummy you came right into my arms.”

What prompted this was a discussion about the baby in our friend (and my daughter’s babysitter) Emily’s tummy. We’d noted how her belly was growing so big and round. Emily’s tummy served as a natural springboard for my question to Saskia: “Whose tummy were you in?”

I half-expected her to know the answer. We’d talked about adoption and we visit with her birth mother, Caroline, whom she calls Auntie Cece, every few months and she also knows her grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles and cousins. We’d read books on adoption.

She pointed to my tummy. That part—the tummy—hadn’t sunk in. And that part—the tummy—is necessary to comprehend the rest.

Upon hearing about Auntie Cece’s

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tummy, her onyx eyes clouded over. I couldn’t bear the idea of her being half so sad as she appeared. I repeated, “You came right into my arms.” I pulled her onto my lap. “When we left the hospital, you came home with me and your papa in our car.”

She asked, “In the van?” Her voice brightened a little bit.

I didn’t mention that the van was purchased a couple of months af-

ter her arrival. She’s our fourth child, so we couldn’t jam our family into a station wagon any longer.

This truth is unavoidable: adoption involves loss, even for a tot discovering that she didn’t grow in your belly like her friends did in their mamas’ bellies. My daughter is still a little too young to ask harder follow-up questions (of her birth mother, why didn’t you raise me? Of me, why did you adopt me and not my brothers?).

clerk’s files. Open adoption occurs on a continuum: there may be medical information offered, letters or pictures or presents or Skype or—like our adoption—visits not only with the birth mom but extended family. The act of opening adoption doesn’t suddenly render it easy or intuitive or even always happy. Basic facts won’t be hidden away. By opening up her adoption, our daughter can know firsthand that we love her—and so does the mama whose tummy she grew in. **

I feel almost completely certain that the sadness on her face at three is both real and fleeting.

Eventually, the story of Auntie Cece’s tummy and my arms and our car taking her home to her family of brothers and mama and papa will be one she simply tells us. Will she ever feel sad or angry or confused or rejected or whatever else about adoption? I am sure she will. Affirmation of this matter-of-fact aspect to her grasping her own story came just a few nights ago when she informed her best friend, Arella, age four, “I was in Auntie Cece’s tummy and then I came home from the hospital with my mama and papa.” ** If you haven’t yet, read the marvelous and harrowing book of interviews about adoption in the days

before abortion was made legal entitled The Girls Who Went Away to grasp the reality of adoption at that time. Secrets, especially terrible, shameful ones, as these stories reveal, inevitably hurt everyone and perhaps most especially the children. Secrets ferret their way into everything. Children, being sensitive creatures, intuit secrets.

With openness, the theory goes, there’s a pathway toward healing. Ours is an open adoption.

My three-year-old doesn’t need to know much beyond the tummies yet. What she needs: to feel secure in the knowledge that she’s extremely loved. As an adoptive parent, part of my task is to mete out honesty so it doesn’t flood my daughter.

Over the past two to three decades, adoption no longer has to be a secret locked away in a court

We have a picture book about how babies grow. The first page reads, “You have just been born.

You know the sound of your mother’s voice from before you were born.” Every time I read that page to my daughter, I feel sad. How jarring to hear one mama’s voice and then another as a tiny, brand-new person.

Obviously, the tummy is not insignificant. Out in the open it becomes something we can talk about and wonder about and marvel at. Even sadness about these tummies can be discussed at any time; we never have to dance around it. And if she feels like talking to her Auntie Cece, we just pick up the phone.

These days, Saskia says, “Caroline is my grandmother.” Her aunt is her grandmother and her grandmothers are her grandmothers.

I take grandmother to mean a special family member who really loves me.

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