Winning Ways Magazine Q1 2022

Becoming Resilient

BY DR JIM MURRAY

RR

Resilience is one of the great puzzles of human nature. Whether in the cancer ward, the battlefield or the boardroom, it determines who succeeds and who fails. During my recent hiatus from blog writing, it struck me that the ugly events of the past two years – the pandemic, humanitarian crises, increasing division, anger, violence and volatility – have made a heightened understanding of resilience more important than ever. Resilience is the capacity to persevere through conditions of hardship and enormous stress. My thoughts follow and I invite you to share yours in the comments section.

Various studies suggest almost 90% of us will experience at least one traumatic event in our lives. Some, of course, will have many more. How we handle those adverse circumstances defines us. The resilient grow stronger and wiser. They convert severe misfortune into personal growth and opportunity, develop an uncanny understanding of the plight of others and acquire an enhanced sense of the human condition. They have healthier relationships, greater selfawareness and superior emotional balance and they appreciate life for what it is. They invariably find genuine purpose and set their course on a more meaningful journey for the remainder of their days.

Resilience is the learned ability to bend without breaking. It’s staying true to one’s moral compass despite the difficulties and taking full responsibility for our lives. The quality of living is entirely a consequence of the choices we make. While chance largely decides what happens to us, we decide how to deal with it. We can choose to either be a victim of fate or take command of our ship. We can confront rather than avoid hardships, reframe unpleasant events into new possibilities and select character over convenience. We can look for the silver linings in troubling circumstances, accept what cannot be changed and try our best with whatever resources we have to improve our lot with grace and dignity.

Optimism ignites resilience; adversity fuels it. Optimism is an inner confidence that things will get better with enough effort and creativity. It’s knowing how to cut our losses and turn our attention to what can be solved. But that optimism must never distort our sense of reality. Excessive, unbridled hope can prove detrimental, even dangerous. Realistic optimism isn’t seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses;

it’s gathering relevant information, acquiring needed skills, setting goals and developing plans to achieve them. It’s resolving conflicts and learning. Realistic optimists control their lives. Albeit at times emotionally wrenching, they possess a hard-nosed, grounded and sensible view of what really matters.

How can you become more optimistic? Whenever the worst happens, strive to focus on the positives. It may not be easy but it’s quite doable. Ask yourself the unnatural, counter-intuitive question: “What’s good about it?” Look forward to what the future might hold, not backwards with regret. There are always valuable lessons to be learned if we take the time to find them. (In some of my courses, I call this Reversing Your Point of View ) Cultivate a sense of humour that enables you to make light of your mistakes rather than succumbing to the darkness and bitterness of failure.

More than anything else in our makeup, humour enables us to rise above hardship. It triggers perspective and energizes endorphins (our feelgood chemicals) that override negative thinking. It broadens our experiential frames and fosters flexibility of mind and exploration. It enables us

More than anything else in our makeup, humour enables us to rise above hardship

to zero in on the real meaning of our behaviour, to call it into question and point us toward contemplating better choices. It helps us face our fears without denying them. It reduces inner tension, diminishes depression and alleviates the discomfort we feel about our errors.

The resilient are lifelong learners, continually seeking ways to strengthen their mental acuity to recognize and seize opportunities when they arise. This enables them to be flexible in how they think about and respond to challenges. Whether in children, survivors of family breakups or businesses that come back from the brink, an increasing body of evidence shows how resilience is acquired. They use their emotions to fuel courage rather than despair, shift their focus from one coping strategy to another and diligently search for the life-altering insights to be found in adversity.

Resilience is a skill, like just about everything else in life that makes a difference. The ability to distinguish reality from fantasy is closely linked to the capacity to find the lessons that lie within terrible events. Some, under duress, throw up their hands and cry, “Why did this happen to me?”

They see themselves as unjustifiably wronged. The resilient know their suffering is unfortunate but a necessary avenue to finding new meanings for themselves and their significant others. They know everything can be worse. They don’t say, “Why me?” They say, “Why not me?” The resilient use their mishaps as mortar for building the bridges that make the present manageable and the future possible.

The resilient have an uncanny ability to improvise. They make do with whatever is at hand, to find feasible and occasionally brilliant solutions without the obvious tools or resources. Some call this inventiveness or tinkering – the talent to muddle through, morph challenges into workable solutions and imagine creative alternatives and possibilities. I call it pragmatism: having the smarts and grit to prevail when others are confounded, disenchanted and defeated.

If change is the constant of life, why not use it to change for the better? Accept the inevitability of failure, no matter how frustrating or painful. Don’t be a victim – let go of the past and live for a more exciting future. Don’t fight battles you can’t win. Avoidance and denial stifle growth. Recalibrate: set new goals, then act on them.

Dr. Jim Murray is CEO of optimal solutions international, a firm dedicated to helping people and organizations reach their full potential. A highly acclaimed educator and architect of executive development programs, he has provided strategic counsel to over 600 organizations during four decades of exemplary practice. Jim has conveyed his views to hundreds of thousands of people from all walks of life through his courses, books, business columns and web-based programs which have been formally recognized for “excellence in the design and delivery of lifelong education.” He developed the world’s first Internet training program on negotiating skills for the University of Alberta and has published three best-selling books on conflict resolution. He can be reached via his website at www.SmartLeaders.ca.

A Deeper Understanding

BY GARY PITTARD

P P

Professional selling requires salespeople to fully understand the needs and concerns of their clients.

“Order Takers are typically not involved in persuading or convincing someone to buy something. They may answer questions and point out various choices regarding their product line or services, if asked, but Order Takers do not proactively cause a sale to occur. The prospect, typically induced by advertising or other means, has decided on her own to make the purchase. The Order Taker exercises very little to no control or direction of the prospect on any step of the sale.”

Secrets of a Master Closer: A Simpler, Easier, and Faster Way to Sell

Anything to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

by Mike Kaplan

By asking the right questions before they present, professionals develop a deeper understanding of the problems their clients face. They then target their presentations toward showing clients that they, the salesperson, can solve those problems.

A major tenet of success is: Find out what people want and help them get it. The first part, “Find out what people want”, is lost on Order Takers. They never find out – never develop a deeper understanding of their clients’ needs – because they jump into their presentations without first discovering need.

Order Takers confuse clients by telling as much about the product or service as they can, without first discovering

what is relevant to their prospects. Too much information confuses people, and confused people say things like, “I want to think it over”.

The reverse of this often applies: Order Takers do not ask enough questions and therefore do not make constructive, informed suggestions, and miss out on sales because of it.

When inspecting office space to purchase, I spoke with several salespeople. From what I saw, Order Takers are alive and well in the commercial real estate world, but they are not making many sales, I fear.

Not one sat me down and asked me what I wanted. Fifty percent of them, to this day, do not know what business I am in, how and when I use my present office, what facilities I have in my present office, and want in my new office. Had any asked, they would have developed an understanding of what type of office I needed.

Every one of them showed me the offices I asked to see. Only one suggested something different.

The agents I spoke with were quoting $5,000 per square metre. I asked them if they were selling anything. “Not much” was the universal reply. I suggested that perhaps the price of $5,000 was the problem. Each one said, “That’s the going rate”. I said, “But nothing is going!”

In my travels I found two buildings, not ten

minutes’ walk from the $5,000 per square metre buildings. I contacted two agents and made appointments to view an office in each building. I bought one that day. The price: $2,100 per square metre.

It gets more interesting. The first agent I dealt with had this property on her books. At one time I had mentioned this building to her, but she seemed determined to steer me toward the more expensive properties.

When I told her the address of the unit I was due to inspect, she told me that SHE HAD IT ON HER BOOKS TOO. The property was open listed. She did not recommend I buy this office because it has no natural light – in her words, “It’s a cave”. I bought the cave.

I did not want natural light because with natural light comes street noise and I was building a recording studio. No noise was what I wanted, and I was willing to trade off natural light to get it. But she didn’t ask me that, and so never developed a deep understanding of my needs. This lack of understanding caused her to miss a vital clue that would have led to a sure sale.

For Order Takers, when sales occur, the Order Taker often has no idea how it happened. Order Takers ‘fly blind’. The concept of developing an understanding of what is right for their clients and selling them on that is an alien concept to the Order Taker. The sales they make are mostly flukes.

One more thing: half of the salespeople with whom I made appointments were LATE. On the day of the inspection of the property I bought, the agent was so late that the owner showed me though.

Punctuality is a basic courtesy. And so is asking questions to find out what is right for your clients.

Sales should never be a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey. Take off the blindfold and ask questions.

Develop a deeper understanding of your clients’ needs and you will make more sales.

Develop a deeper understanding of your clients’ needs and you will make more sales

The Game of Life

Negotiation has been called “The Game of Life.” Not a day passes that fails to confirm its presence in almost everything we do with others.

Negotiating Effectively Within Your Own Organization

by Chester Karrass

BY GARY PITTARD

NNNegotiation is a critical skill to master, in both our professional and personal lives.

The closer people are to us, the easier it is to argue with them. The problem with this is that the long-term consequences can be great. Those closest to us have long memories; things we did or said in rash moments can come back to haunt us for a long time to come.

Business is no different. Fail to negotiate effectively and a disgruntled client will rush to tell friends about how bad the experience was.

Chester Karrass said, “We are all negotiators. Knowing how to do it well is important. Good negotiators, those able to settle difficult problems and differences amiably, are recognized and respected. They are better able to cut through discord by finding a path to shared benefits. Ben Franklin remarks in his autobiography that those who avoid being confrontational will be received with a ‘readier reception and less contradiction’ to their views.”

To settle difficult problems and differences amicably, and to find a path to shared benefits, requires an open conversation between all parties involved in the negotiation. To negotiate, you need dialogue.

This can be difficult to achieve when emotion permeates the negotiation. With emotion comes ego, anger, defensiveness, turf protection, and similar negative issues that can block a negotiation.

The best way to stimulate dialogue is to not do anything that will make the other side shut down communication. As Ben Franklin said, avoid being confrontational and you will be received with a “readier reception and less contradiction” to your views.

I have witnessed many salespeople talk themselves out of a sale, all because they didn’t know when to shut up. If you want to avoid confrontation and objections, learn when not to speak. Better silence than upset the other side with some ill-thought statement that you cannot retract.

Damage Caused By a Rash Act

That email you want to send to give the other person a ‘piece of your mind’, that abusive text or phone call – all they achieve is anger, the result being that you have to spend hours trying to fix

the damage caused by a rash act. Shut up! Think: how many hours – days even –will you have to spend fixing the damage this may cause? And then don’t do it.

It is far smarter to ‘push the Pause Button’. Pause. Don’t say anything you will regret. NEVER send abusive emails, texts, or letters. Never. And what sounds clever when you post it on Facebook won’t seem nearly as clever when it blows up in your face, as many sports people and celebrities will attest.

To win in the Game of Life, it helps to be respected. Whether it is a business or family negotiation, treat the other parties with respect, don’t speak in anger, show that you are listening and, when it is your turn to speak, say what needs to be said.

But before you speak be mindful of this: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean”. Be firm if you have to, and always be frank, diplomatic, polite and kind. Don’t say it ‘mean’. After all, isn’t that how you would like to be treated?

The older I get the more I appreciate the value of knowing when not to speak. I can think of many times I wish I had never said what I did, and there are a couple of times when I regret not saying what I later realised I should have said.

But most times I do not regret remaining silent, biding my time and saying what needed to be said when the emotion was right, and when the other party was ready to communicate. Negotiation is the Game of Life and the better we are at negotiating, the better our business and personal lives will be.

We are all negotiators. Knowing how to do it well is important. Good negotiators, those able to settle difficult problems and differences amiably, are recognized and respected

“There’s an old saying that ‘one man’s gain must be another man’s loss.’ Many people take that old adage for granted as the whole truth. And yet, it is totally false. Why? Because happiness is relative. And what pleases one person is not necessarily going to please the next person. This means that two individuals – with different values – can arrange an exchange between them that will satisfy both of them. Neither has to triumph over the other one. Both can gain.”

The Secret of Selling Anything

by Harry Browne

Happiness is Relative

BY GARY PITTARD

N N

Negotiators would do well to remember this quote from Harry Browne’s excellent book. What makes me happy may not make you happy. It is knowledge of the relative nature of happiness that enables us to facilitate negotiations where everybody leaves the table satisfied.

Too often, salespeople try and second-guess their clients. Salespeople who think they ‘know’ what their clients want and present based on an erroneous viewpoint, only to lose a sale. The fact is we don’t always know what clients want, will accept, and be delighted with, unless we ask plenty of questions and develop, over time, an understanding of what will make those clients happy.

Many salespeople will not invest that time and will not ask enough good questions to enable them to determine what it will take to put this negotiation together.

Wrong Path

False assumptions can easily send you down the wrong path. I am not saying that you should not make assumptions. I don’t abide by the saying “Never assume – it makes an ass of you and me”. It is permissible to make assumptions in a negotiation as long as you test those assumptions by questioning to determine if they are valid and correct.

Many years ago we listed a property that had too many tenants for its size. Under today’s building codes this would not have been allowed. I conducted a buyer inspection, and all was going well. We weaved our way through the various rooms, but then we came to the kitchen. I ushered the buyers in… at the precise moment when a tenant slammed a meat cleaver through a chicken’s neck, beheading it in one stroke. The room looked like a crime scene.

Of course, the tenant did not bat an eyelid, but I assure you the buyers did. Without skipping a beat I said to the buyers, “I don’t think this is the property for you”. They agreed. We quickly left.

Not long after that inspection the property sold. It sold for several reasons:

• The purchasers were prepared to do a little work

• The purchasers intended tiling the kitchen, and so the blood-soaked timber was going to be covered

• And above all, the property was priced correctly for its present condition and for the current market

Many people, including agents, described this property as a ‘dog box’. But the dog box sold to buyers who were delighted with their purchase. OK, and they had a bit of imagination too, but they were very happy.

So before you create objections for yourself by thinking that a property is terrible and will never sell, or that you know what your clients want and then present based on false assumptions, or that the clients will never accept the proposal you are about to make, remember that happiness is relative.

Allow for the fact that you might not know them as well as you think you do, that what makes you happy is not necessarily what will make them happy.

Ask the right questions. Find out what their version of ‘happy’ is, and then talk yourself into a sale, not out of one.

of FutureBrightness

BY GARY PITTARD

A A

I spoke with Mandy recently about a challenge several real estate business owners had raised with me: salespeople resigning after working in real estate sales between eighteen months and two years.

Mandy said, “Sounds like a classic case of Brightness of Future”.

I had no trouble agreeing with this diagnosis. Today’s employees want more than money, they want a LIFE. And if we are going to keep team

them build a great life using their real estate sales career as a vehicle.

Sales can wear people down, even those who are ideally suited for a real estate sales career. No amount of real estate training, motivational training, time management, communication training, closing skills, listing ability; etc. will offset a lack of brightness of future.

Never assume that salespeople will stay just because they are making money.

Never assume that salespeople will leave just because a competitor is offering a bigger commission percentage.

People will leave to pursue a brighter future.

Think: what future can somebody expect if they work with me? It could be:

• Flexibility

• The ability to work from home on occasions

• Fulfilling and satisfying work

• The feeling of being valued and respected

• Possibility of a buying into the business

• Possibility of a partnership in a new real estate office

• Regular time off, without work following them home

• Opportunities for longer breaks, travel; etc.

Without brightness of future, people begin to feel frustrated, trapped and hopeless. And then they leave.

My friend, Michael Johnston, says, “People don’t fire the company; they fire the leader”. Training real estate salespeople is expensive and time consuming. It can be heartbreaking for a leader to go to all this expense and effort only to have a salesperson, who is just getting ‘up to speed’ leave in search of a better opportunity. If they want a brighter future, let’s do our best to give it to them.

Author, Mandy Johnson, wrote an excellent book, Winning the War for Talent. It is a book that every leader and manager should read.

Cracking the Code of Organizational

Culture Culture

Culture Culture Culture Culture

What Leaders Must Know

BY PATRICIA WHEELER

TTThere’s a saying that we use when we help clients execute change initiatives: when culture and change collide, culture always wins.

When it comes to leaders in new roles, it doesn’t matter how smart or successful they have been previously or how confident they are in their abilities. According to The New Corporate Culture authors Terry Deal and Allan Kennedy, understanding and influencing cultural behaviors and norms is the single most important factor accounting for organizational success or failure.

Consider the experience of my client Martin, a Vice President new in his role within an engineering company who was given the charge to upgrade product quality and cycle time in his business. Martin had been with his company for ten years, most of his time spent in another business unit, one that was producing far better results and had a reputation for speed of execution. His status as valued rising star within his former role was a major reason he was offered the current position. Martin strode boldly into his new team meetings, eager to spread the word about how to improve and turn around the business.

He was dismayed to learn that shortly after he began to institute change, his boss heard complaints about his arrogance from his new direct reports and peers. Martin was blindsided; how could they misunderstand his intentions?

I asked Martin what he knew about the culture of his current business unit. What qualities and behaviors were most highly valued? What was the pace and process of team meetings? Who were the most knowledgeable and influential members? Who were their heroes? How were decisions really made?

Martin looked at me quizzically. What did this have to do with getting results, he wondered. He needed to speed up, not slow down; and he did not understand how our conversation would be helpful. I assured him that pausing to understand the cultural context in which he now operated would lead to more speed and better results in the long run.

MIT researcher Edgar Schein defines culture as the pattern of basic assumptions that a group has invented, discovered or developed in learning to deal with problems it has encountered. Those

Culture is not about what’s absolutely right or wrong, with a few notable exceptions. It’s the vehicle through which we transmit our values and teach new group members what leads to success and failure.

solutions that worked well enough to be considered valid are taught to new members as the right way to think, perceive and feel in relation to problems (italics are mine).

Culture is not about what’s absolutely right or wrong, with a few notable exceptions. It’s the vehicle through which we transmit our values and teach new group members what leads to success and failure. Every culture is the product of its own experience, Patricia Wheeler, Ph.D. is a consultant and executive coach who helps smart people become better leaders. A recognized authority in leadership development as well as a trained psychologist, Patricia works with organizations to deepen and develop their talent pool to drive current and ongoing success. She is a contributor to the AMA Handbook of Leadership and the upcoming Coaching for Leadership

She and her partner, renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, publish Leading News. You may contact her at Patricia@LeadingNews.org.

its own stories. When the basis for “appropriate behavior” as defined by a culture goes underground, the culture becomes unaware of itself. And because of this, it is very important to develop a clear awareness of how it operates. This is particularly crucial for leaders in new senior roles, or leaders who are tasked with executing substantial change. Those who ignore its importance do so at their own peril.

Skeptically at first, Martin began asking questions of his team. He discovered that although the previous Vice President had not met her targets, she was valued for her warmth and sense of humor within the team. In his urgency for change, he had focused on tasks almost to the exclusion of getting to know, and therefore engaging, his people.

Knowing the history, learning who the key influencers are, knowing the unspoken but very powerful rules of the road is essential to be successful in a new role – and to be seen as credible. This takes some time and relationship building. It also requires actively recognizing the strengths and accomplishments of the old organization even as you state a compelling case for change going forward. Change agents and executives in new positions who fail to understand this often fail slowly, as the passive resistance of culture wins over even the most needed change.

This is not to say that all change happens slowly. When in crisis it is acceptable to demand and drive change. But when this approach is overused, the culture will win.

When Martin took the time to connect and listen to his new stakeholders (which took my convincing him that although it felt to him this was slowing down, it would actually accelerate progress before long), he learned many things, including who held the most power and how best to influence them. He discovered which communication strategies would work best within the culture, and the “hidden treasures” within his direct reports. His team and his boss believe that his taking them time to build “organizational savvy” was a key driver of his success. Had he not taken the time to do this, at best he would have struggled; at worst, he could have failed.

The Goldilocks Rule:

How to Stay Motivated in Life and Business

BY JAMES CLEAR

and tried out simple routines on visitors. Soon he discovered that what he loved was not performing magic but performing in general. He set his sights on becoming a comedian.

This article is an excerpt from Atomic Habits, my New York Times bestselling book.

In 1955, Disneyland had just opened in Anaheim, California, when a ten-year-old boy walked in and asked for a job. Labor laws were loose back then and the boy managed to land a position selling guidebooks for $0.50 apiece.

Within a year, he had transitioned to Disney’s magic shop, where he learned tricks from the older employees. He experimented with jokes

Beginning in his teenage years, he started performing in little clubs around Los Angeles. The crowds were small and his act was short. He was rarely on stage for more than five minutes. Most of the people in the crowd were too busy drinking or talking with friends to pay attention. One night, he literally delivered his stand-up routine to an empty club.

It wasn’t glamorous work, but there was no doubt he was getting better. His first routines would only last one or two minutes. By high school, his material had expanded to include a five-minute act and, a few years later, a ten-minute show. At nineteen, he was performing weekly for twenty minutes at a time. He had to read three poems

during the show just to make the routine long enough, but his skills continued to progress.

He spent another decade experimenting, adjusting, and practicing. He took a job as a television writer and, gradually, he was able to land his own appearances on talk shows. By the mid-1970s, he had worked his way into being a regular guest on The Tonight Show and Saturday Night Live.

Finally, after nearly fifteen years of work, the young man rose to fame. He toured sixty cities in sixty-three days. Then seventy-two cities in eighty days. Then eighty-five cities in ninety days. He had 18,695 people attend one show in Ohio. Another 45,000 tickets were sold for his three-day show in New York. He catapulted to the top of his genre and became one of the most successful comedians of his time.

His name is Steve Martin.

How to Stay Motivated

I recently finished Steve Martin’s wonderful autobiography, Born Standing Up.

Martin’s story offers a fascinating perspective on what it takes to stick with habits for the long run. Comedy is not for the timid. It is hard to imagine a situation that would strike fear into the hearts of more people than performing alone on stage and failing to get a single laugh. And yet Steve Martin faced this fear every week for eighteen years. In his words, “10 years spent learning, 4 years spent refining, and 4 years as a wild success.”

Why is it that some people, like Martin, stick with their habits—whether practicing jokes or drawing cartoons or playing guitar—while most of us struggle to stay motivated? How do we design habits that pull us in rather than ones that fade away? Scientists have been studying this question for many years. While there is still much to learn, one of the most consistent findings is that the way to maintain motivation and achieve peak levels of desire is to work on tasks of “just manageable difficulty.”

The Goldilocks Rule

The human brain loves a challenge, but only if it is within an optimal zone of difficulty. If you love tennis and try to play a serious match against a four-year-old, you will quickly become bored. It’s too easy. You’ll win every point. In contrast, if you play a professional tennis player like Roger Federer or Serena Williams, you will quickly lose motivation because the match is too difficult.

Now consider playing tennis against someone who is your equal. As the game progresses, you win a few points and you lose a few. You have a good chance of winning, but only if you really try. Your focus narrows, distractions fade away, and you find yourself fully invested in the task at hand. This is a challenge of just manageable difficulty and it is a prime example of the Goldilocks Rule.

Steve Martin performing in Chicago, Illinois in 1978.

(Photo by Paul Natkin.)

The human brain loves a challenge, but only if it is within an optimal zone of difficulty

The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right.

Martin’s comedy career is an excellent example of the Goldilocks Rule in practice. Each year, he expanded his comedy routine—but only by a minute or two. He was always adding new material, but he also kept a few jokes that were guaranteed to get laughs. There were just enough victories to keep him motivated and just enough mistakes to keep him working hard.

of difficulty, neither too hard nor too easy.”

This blend of happiness and peak performance is sometimes referred to as flow, which is what athletes and performers experience when they are “in the zone.” Flow is the mental state you experience when you are so focused on the task at hand that the rest of the world fades away.

In order to reach this state of peak performance, however, you not only need to work on challenges at the right degree of difficulty, but also measure your immediate progress. As psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains, one of the keys to reaching a flow state is that “you get immediate feedback about how you are doing at each step.”

Seeing yourself make progress in the moment is incredibly motivating. Steve Martin would tell a joke and immediately know if it worked based on the laughter of the crowd. Imagine how addicting it would be to create a roar of laughter. The rush of positive feedback Martin experienced from one great joke would probably be enough to overpower his fears and inspire him to work for weeks.

Measure Your Progress

If you want to learn how to stay motivated to reach your goals, then there is a second piece of the motivation puzzle that is crucial to understand. It has to do with achieving that perfect blend of hard work and happiness.

Working on challenges of an optimal level of difficulty has been found to not only be motivating, but also to be a major source of happiness. As psychologist Gilbert Brim put it, “One of the important sources of human happiness is working on tasks at a suitable level

In other areas of life, measurement looks different but is just as critical for achieving a blend of motivation and happiness. In tennis, you get immediate feedback based on whether or not you win the point. Regardless of how it is measured, the human brain needs some way to visualize our progress if we are to maintain motivation. We need to be able to see our wins.

Two Steps to Motivation

If we want to break down the mystery of how to stay motivated for the long-term, we could simply say:

Stick to The Goldilocks Rule and work on tasks of just manageable difficulty.

Measure your progress and receive immediate feedback whenever possible.

James Clear writes about habits, decision making, and continuous improvement. His first book, Atomic Habits, is a #1 New York Times bestseller and has sold over 3 million copies worldwide. For more information, visit www.JamesClear.com

Wanting to improve your life is easy. Sticking with it is a different story. If you want to stay motivated for good, then start with a challenge that is just manageable, measure your progress, and repeat the process.

Make the Most of a Golden Opportunity

BY GARY PITTARD

T T

The more I think about Sales, the more I love it. I believe that when you landed a real estate career, you won the lottery.

I wonder how many real estate salespeople actually appreciate the golden opportunity their real estate careers offer them.

Do you need reminding how good you’ve got it?

Selling dreams

So many people dream of owning property. It’s a talking point at most parties, in the media; I’d go as far to say that real estate is more talked about these days than is the weather.

Freedom

Your time is your own. Although you may have to attend sales and training meetings, you don’t have a boss looking over your shoulders. Get results and most of the time you are left alone.

Nice clothes

You don’t have to put on high-viz vests and work in hot, dirty environments. You wear nice clothes, work most of the time in air conditioning, and if you know what you’re doing you will make more money than you could in any other career for which you are qualified.

Nice car

I am not advocating that any salesperson leases a flashy car that ends up costing three times the list price by the time it’s paid out. I prefer salespeople to buy good cars with cash. Sure, your tax deductions are less, but then you have less chance of getting into financial trouble if you only spend your money and don’t exceed your limits. But you still buy a nice car and enjoy it.

Satisfaction

Salespeople can experience career highs every day, when they sell a property and see the faces of happy sellers and buyers. For the sellers, selling, buying and moving can be traumatic. For the buyer, equally so. What a great feeling it is to help people and to get paid well for it.

Huge income potential

This is down the bottom because this is where most people put income on their lists of the most important things they want from a career. This does not mean that money is not important, it’s just that some things are more so for many people.

Let’s face it: money is a reward for service. The better trained you are, the more people you serve COMPETENTLY, the more money you make.

People with jobs work for people. They are paid an hourly rate. They work for other people’s goals

The big point about a high income is that it is entirely in your hands.

Brian Tracy says, “Do you want a pay rise? Then go to the mirror and negotiate with your boss”. So true.

Competence + Activity + Client Care = High Income.

Competence, activity and Client Care are all within your control. How wonderful!

Real Estate is not for job seekers

If you are looking for a job, don’t go into real estate sales. If you are in real estate sales now and are treating it like a job, I suggest changing your attitude, or changing jobs. Real estate is a career, not a job. Believe me, there is a huge difference between job and career.

Macquarie Dictionary definitions

job: 1. A piece of work; an individual piece of work done in the routine of one’s occupation or trade. 2. A piece of work of defined character undertaken for a fixed price. 6. A post of employment.

People with jobs work for people. They are paid an hourly rate. They work for other people’s goals.

career: 1. A general course of action or progress of a person through life, as in some profession, in some moral or intellectual action. 2. An occupation, profession, etc. followed as one’s lifework.

Progress of a person through life… followed as one’s lifework…

Poles apart from a job.

When I see real estate salespeople ‘working’ 9AM to 5PM, and then complaining about

how tough things are, I think, “You are wasting a golden opportunity. Stop acting like a paid worker and start acting like a self-employed entrepreneur. Get out and look for business!”

Take control

Think career and make the most of it.

Set goals

Decide what you want to achieve in the coming year – meaningful goals you want and are willing to work for, but goals that stretch you.

Make plans

Decide what you need to produce in order to achieve your goals. Calculate the targets required and plan how to reach them.

Study

Income is not the focus. Income is the reward. Competent people earn more than do incompetent people. Study. Learn how to be better at your career.

Don’t make excuses – NEVER blame the market

Leave blaming the market to losers. If you cannot learn how to survive and thrive in any market, you are at the mercy of the economy. Winners know how to find customers, to convert leads into business, and to leave clients happy, happy enough to pay fair fees for the services rendered.

Personal accountability

Play the blame game and you lose, even if people believe you. Plenty of salespeople are winning, so why not you? Inventing excuses to disguise mediocrity is as time consuming as devising plans to win. Steer your thinking toward success, not failure.

Be grateful

A little gratitude always makes us feel better and helps us see life’s possibilities. Be grateful for your career, your clients, for your family, health. Expand your list – there is plenty to be grateful for if you think about it. Grateful people see abundance. Pessimists see lack.

Realise how good you’ve got it

Make the most of this golden opportunity wrapped in a real estate career. If you are coasting, realise that you are wasting time, losing money, and whittling away perhaps the greatest opportunity you will ever be offered. Get to work.

Look after clients. They are not a limitless reservoir. Burn them and they will see that you are punished. Look after them and they will stay with you for life.

Sales can set you up for life.

Appreciate this wonderful career and make the most of it.

Feedback Ask For Price

BY GARY PITTARD

IIIf you have listings, you have a duty to coach your sellers about the realities of the market. Fail in this duty and many of your listings will not sell.

It could be argued that in a booming market most listings sell, but markets change and so it is better to not let your coaching skills become rusty.

Coaching, not conditioning

Many in our industry indulge in the disgusting practice of conditioning. I do not condone this practice. Conditioning is best described as giving sellers good news during the listing presentation, statements such as, “You should get that price. Let’s put it to auction and see what the market has to say”. Happy news, can-do spirit, nothing negative. But then, after the property is listed, it’s nothing but negatives. “The market response has been less than encouraging…” followed by low price feedback, perhaps even a dummy offer. The euphemistic term is “Managing the sellers’ expectations”.

The truth as a sales tool

You don’t have to treat people this way in order to succeed. Sadly, many do not realise that the truth is a terrific sales tool. And telling the truth does wonders for the integrity.

At the listing presentation, tell the truth and give a realistic estimate of the likely selling price. Yes, it takes skill to tell the truth and still win the listing, but there are many skilled and honest salespeople out there who know how to do it. It can be done. It is being done… daily.

Whether you show properties by individual inspection or by open inspections, ask every buyer for their opinion of what the property is worth. Elicit honest feedback from genuine buyers and pass that honest feedback on to your sellers.

This helps you to qualify the buyer, too. Is their feedback realistic for this type of property in this current market? Buyers’ answers to the ‘what do you think this property is worth?’ tell you whether or not they know the market. Also, if they quote

you a price and later offer a lower figure you now know they will pay more.

Knowledge is power

You would never expect a buyer to buy in their first couple of weeks looking at properties. Nobody wants to make the wrong decision and buyers need knowledge of the market before they begin making sensible and realistic offers. Knowledge is power, and once buyers have the knowledge they make offers. Buyer knowledge develops with good information and experience, received over time.

Likewise, an agent that commences in real estate won’t be capable of quoting accurate prices to sellers because they don’t know the market. As they develop more market knowledge, they become more accurate in their pricing. Agent knowledge develops with good information, received over time.

Seller knowledge develops with good information, received over time too. But sellers receive their information differently. Buyers and agents receive their information, gain their knowledge, by being active in the marketplace. Sellers, however, must receive their information via buyer feedback from their listing agent.

Sellers do not need conditioning: THEY NEED COACHING.

Give your sellers time to understand the market by feeding them good information with plenty of honest and regular feedback.

Every time you conduct an inspection with a buyer ask, “Based on your knowledge of the market, what do you think this property is worth?” Question how they arrived at this price. It will help you qualify the buyer better and it will be invaluable information for the owners of the property.

After sufficient regular and honest feedback, your sellers will gradually come to understand the market and at what price their property is most likely to sell. Once they reach that understanding they will reduce to a price necessary to make a sale happen.

Stay away from conditioning and instead show empathy and understanding. Help, guide, and coach. Ask for price feedback from buyers and pass it on to the sellers. You will win friends and make sales.

The Myth of What We Manage

BY CHRIS WIDENER

P P

Perhaps it is merely semantics, but an underlying problem I find that people have as it relates to the success in their life lies in a proper understanding of what exactly it is that we manage. Think about it. We have time management (In fact I have a seminar on this very topic, some of which is excerpted below), and financial management, and relational management, weight management, career management, and many, many more.

The fact is though, that we don’t manage any of those things. What we do manage is ourselves, as they relate to those things. We don’t manage time. Time clicks by, second by second, whether we do anything or not. What we do is manage ourselves, and our activities, as the time passes. We make choices as to what we will do and be involved in. The problem as well as the solution lies not with time, but with us.

We don’t manage money. A pile of money will sit there forever if left alone. It won’t grow or shrink. What we manage is ourselves and the decisions we make in regard to how we will spend the money. Getting the idea?

So as we live our lives and pursue success, one of the keys to grab on to is the idea that the most important thing we can manage isn’t a thing at all – it is our self!

How then can we manage ourselves? Here are some thoughts.

Make sure that the above is firmly engrained in your thinking: I only manage myself. I can choose

Chris Widener is a successful businessman, New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author, speaker and television host. He has authored over 450 articles and nine books, including The Art of Influence and the Leadership Rules. He has produced over 85 CDs and DVDs on leadership, motivation and success. Chris is the past host of the national interview show - Made For Success and past co-host of True Performance with Zig Ziglar. Chris’s motto is, “Turn your potential into performance, succeed in every area of life, and achieve your dreams.” He very definitely gives you the tools you need to do that and delivers results-oriented programs designed specifically to help you achieve your goals! To book Chris for coaching or to speak for your organization please call 877-212-4747.

how I will act and react in every situation. Dwight D Eisenhower said that “The history of free men is not written by chance, but by choice, their choice.”

Know your priorities. Do you know from top to bottom what your priorities are? Have you decided what the top ten things you want to spend your time on are? How about the same with your money? Only after you know these things can you properly manage yourself into choosing to live your priorities.

Learn to say “no” with a smile on your face. Here is where most of us fail. We do not choose to say “no” to those things that are not a matter of priority (the reason “why” is another newsletter article and probably a few counselling sessions at that!). Someone calls us up and asks us to do something for them (usually because they haven’t managed themselves and would like our help picking up the pieces) and we say “Uh, I guess so.” Then what? We usually kick ourselves for the rest of the day. “Why did I ever say yes?” Instead, practice this, “Gee, I am really sorry but I am not going to be able to be involved this time. I am sure you will be able to find somebody though.” Go ahead and try it right now. Weird, isn’t it? That is because we don’t say it very often.

Schedule your priorities into you schedule or budget or whatever structure governs that area of your life. For example, do you have a financial budget that you yourself set? Then do you first and foremost spend your money in that way, say at the beginning of the month? If you do, you will eliminate even the opportunity to blow your money on impulse decisions and expenses because your money has already been committed into your priorities.

Remember, one of the greatest gifts God gave us is the ability to choose. And we can choose to manage ourselves appropriately and according to our priorities. As we do, we will find ourselves feeling less and less of the personal pain and frustration that we feel when we are out of control.

Schedule your priorities into you schedule or budget or whatever structure governs that area of your life

Curiosity Has Nine Lives

BY NINA SUNDAY

C C

‘Curiosity killed the cat’... why is this adage dangerous? These words paint a negative picture of inquisitiveness; when being curious is the very stuff of innovation and creativity.

Curiosity is different to intelligence. It’s possible to have high IQ with a low curiosity quotient.

Why be curious? Why be curious?

Following our curiosity can lead to us to new ideas, creativity and innovation. Taking action around new ideas as they come up can add a sense of purpose and meaning to our life, making us more optimistic and confident about the future.

It’s self-fulfilling. It’s an antidote against feelings of stagnation and hopelessness.

Doing something new can make you happy.

Feel stuck in a rut? First consider your input. Doing something new can inspire us, add a sense of fun and pleasure, contributing to our overall level of happiness and wellbeing.

Being open to new experiences cultivates psychological flexibility. By becoming a person of many dimensions, life will offer better choices. New doors will open.

Plasticity

Recent discoveries about the brain show that what we think about changes the brain. Neural plasticity means doing something new stimulates your brain to grow new brain cell connections.

An intellectually curious person usually has a library, physical or virtual, not just in their own area of subject-matter expertise but from a wide field of subjects.

They probably also enjoy a hobby, and over the course of their life, perhaps master many different leisure pursuits.

Build self-efficacy

When you attempt something new, you may be surprised to discover you can actually do it well. This boosts what psychologists call self-efficacy; confidence that if I can do this, I can most likely do other things too. It breeds optimism and feelings of success.

Pick a new activity and master it

Business author and thinker, and acknowledged father of management consulting, Peter Drucker (1909-2005), attempted a new hobby every three years. At eighty-something he took up painting Japanese porcelains as the next new skill to master.

Is there a new skill you secretly yearn to master if you only had time?

Adults who inherit a musical instrument – violin, clarinet, piano – often wish they could play. Don’t die with your music still in you. Find a music teacher.

What secret passion can you make time for?

Remind yourself that attempting something new turns the lights on in your brain, staves off rigid thinking and promotes mental flexibility.

How to keep your genius juices flowing Doctors encourage people to perform daily mental activity such as crosswords as a way to stimulate the brain.

Brain function doesn’t have to decline with age; learning something new activates the brain, stimulates it, and keeps it young. If you feel stuck, revive your spirit of curiosity. If you’ve lost your passion and energy, become more curious.

© 2021 Nina Sunday – reprinted with permission

Nina Sunday CSP, Managing Director of Brainpower Training, started her enterprise in 1990 with a vision - to establish an organisation delivering tailored, results-focused training, targeted to clients’ specific outcomes.

Brainpower Training is a growing peopledevelopment company offering a range of soft skills programs in Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Knowledge capture, Productivity and Leadership.

Brainpower Training has a BHAG - big, hairy, audacious goal - to make a difference as one of Australia’s top ten training companies. You can visit Nina’s website at www.brainpowertraining.com.au.

If you feel stuck, revive your spirit of curiosity. If you’ve lost your passion and energy, become more curious

Leader Adam Horth Johnson Real Estate East Ipswich

Gross $1,001,500

Sides 169

Time in Sales

1 year 3 months

Leader Peter Tran Johnson Real Estate Forest Lake

Gross $1,011,744

Sides 138

Time in Sales 6 years

Leader

Lauders Real Estate

Gross $1,016,382

Sides 151

Time in Office

15 years 6 months

Leader Barry McEntee First National Real Estate Goulburn

Gross $1,010,222

Sides 133

Time in Sales 4 years and 6 months

Leader

Johnson Real Estate Chermside

Gross $1,592,559

Sides 180

Time in Sales

5 years 11 months

Monty Bloom

DIAMOND

Michael Cameron

DIAMOND

Brody Willis

DIAMOND

Junior Tusa

DIAMOND

Jonathan Jessup

DIAMOND

2022 Seminar Schedule

March

Winning Ways, Sydney, March 7 – 9

April

Agency Profit System, Sydney, April 4 – 8

May

Winning Ways, Melbourne, May 9 – 11

Leaders Retreat, May 30 – 31

June

Winning Ways, Auckland, June 27 – 29

July

Agency Profit System, Melbourne, July 18 – 22

August

Winning Ways, Brisbane, August 22 - 24

September

Winners Circle Workshops

Hobart, September 12

Melbourne, September 13

Sydney, September 14

Brisbane, September 15

October

Agency Profit System, Gold Coast, October 10 - 14

November

Real Estate Agent’s Convention, Sydney, November 21 – 23

Gala Dinner, Sydney, November 22