September Issue

Bangor AYE

October e0le

will neyer until the last king is Men

September fssue

be free

tutober eOfe Bangor

strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

Published by }frUSK

Denis Did,erot

(y?yfi*yra+|

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Bangor AYE fmBressum September fssue October eALe

Editors

Contents

Lrwr'lv Stu ft in this IssH$ Cov<:r Sttrr:l. ,'1il

Lala Black

Staff Writers

Spencer Hollyhock Cessi} Krane

Alan Pritt

Eric lllright

Sport

Jr il?es Hullington Rocky Peaks

Feuilleton

Peter Yorchek

Freeman Fenrrlick* Smythe

Michael BeII Dlsco Stu

Oerd,a Dunnes

Print

Run eooo

Printed by Davenport

Specialist Printing

Published by I\dUSK

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fit* I rl orvs(}n -(,.)uigg *hqnil |tlintgor p*iit irs and l'r?t" Kiosk ht Ilte'Walled Gartlerrr IT out o'r'c! - Pagt I I ,,1{t\

Travel rrTriters Hamy Ersklne

- Vronl ?agc

\cws Soull r l,ag1t' :i

Conrad Macintosh Magdalaine Morrow

Design & Layout

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Bangor AYE " Le g A I [,or4{i',

lilews Soup O5 ffys(efial

Anti-alcohol group

N

e

w $

FAD (Federation Against Drink) has warned that Bangorians are facing

increasing dangers from -'legal

a

notorious

low" known on the streets as "drink". lt's incredibly easy to buy "Alcohol" on the streets or on the internet, where it is labeled with misleading screeds

about hints of citrus and "good legs". ln fact these "bottles" of pure alcoholic DEATH are being

(}

in their families and in their relationships."

Alcohol is legal to sell even if it isn't clearly labelled *not for human con$umpti0n". This means that vendors can claim that

thrill

they are selling it in good faith to innocent customers who want to clean their drains with ethanol and aren't just going to sit around

young, out

of control

seekers right now, outside your'

very window!!!

This 'legal low' is frequently

marketed as mimicking {quite badly) the effects of illegal drugs like ecstasy, cocaine or "acid" but

this week FAD officials

warned

that the substance can have devastating effects on the rninds and bodies of users.

alcohol can have on people who have taken it. We've seen people sufferinq very severe after-effects

when using this substance," babbled FAD's head of Outrage, "We've even had people at our

door who are 'Polydrug' u$ers, people who have experience ot Class A drugs, and they're telling us that this so-called "DrinV' has side-effects that are ar bad, or Even Worse than anything else they've ever, ever used!"

u

uncontrollable paranoia or anger.

That then has a turther impact on their lives, leading to breakdowns

freely and recklessly consumed by

'nWe've seen the impact that

$

to young people who have been left feeli ng suicidal , who have been hallucinating, who have had We've spoken

getting wasted watching TOWIE. "lt's a loophole," claimed the

enraged FAD representative,

--but

the fact that alcohol is legal can lead some young people to believe it's safe. It'g not truen wO sirnply don't know what taking this will do to anyone and it's incredibly

risky."

MENTAL.

"The Legal-Low

Sub culture exploded fifty-odd years ago whenever the USA tried to ban

alcohol and the whole thing blew up in their idiotic faces" Suddenly

you had a widely available drug doing the rounds at parties and that led to a lot of Young People experimenting with it - even some who may have been opposed to taking'illegal' drugs."

HECTIC. "The consequences of this 'LegalLou/ can be really quite hectic.

Contact us:

rubangoraye@inbox,com

bangorAYE

@bangoreyeruews

Bangor AYE wow

FAD has joined with

News Soup 04 a

renowned NDBC comb-over in an attempt to get its message out. The link-up happened

look after himself and neither was l, having drunk ten pints of white cider before heading out"" The situation has now reached fever

after the hair-cut saw the problems with legal lows first hand during its "voluntee( work in Bangor's late night

pitch with rumours circulating that alcohol is being widely used in the highest "positions" of government.

town centre.

The Aye can say with certainty that a highly refined form of the drug * known cornmonly on the street as "bubbly" was being used openly during a recent Mayoral garden party at the town hall.

-'l

wa$ in Bangor receRtly and I saw

a young guy walk out of a

barn" the

comb-over said, even though it wasn't about to tell a funny story. "l found hirn moving about the sunken gardens area of the seafront. He was confused; he had no idea where he was or what he was doing. We got talking and I knew from rny training course$ that he was totally 'bladdered' . He named $ome common drinks and said that he had got a hold of them locally. lt wasn't the first time l'd met a 'booze-hound' but

was

ta ke

n

I

a ba

ck by just h ow

absolutely 'hammered'this guy was. lt was clear that he was in no fit state to

What's that letter about?

There was a sad letter from Councillor Tom Smith in th* Spectator o{ August 34, 2012. Hs quite rightly condemns ths mugging of elderly people as a 'disgraceful and despicable aet'. Any attack on a psrson is a serious offence and the e ld erly are partrcul arly vulnerable . He uses the statistics of burglaries against e lderly people to highlight thc low level o{ arrests for such crimes only 4 out of 113 in ZA|U n, hs writes. On the face a{ it a pretty miserable result.

But is the answer to tackling this kind of crime to wrtte letl.ers to the nowsp aper calling the perpetrators oscum' and advocating that they be put in prison 'for a vwy long time '? Surely Mr. Smith as a member of the Ards

Lock up your daughters and household pets; here comes Armageddon.

The Office,fbr J$utionul Stutistics states

that in the LfK ul.one, smoking killed Bl,4{}0 peaple in 2{}10. Alcohol killed {1,V90. Cunnuhis wos reluted to 2 cle aths (as wus rnesslredrone) while Pnrncetnmol ki|led Itt.

Drink.... Just Because. CK

Police Commu nity Safety P artnerships is in a position to discuss the problems clirectly with the PSNI so what does he hope to achteve by writing fo the local

newspaper? Maybe he wishes to be congratulated for his advocation of exfteme measures on punishment? To

ridicule the PSNI for their appar*nt inconrpetence? It cannot be just self publicityr can rt'!

Of co*rse the question has to be

asked, i{ Mr. Sn:ith identifies those who attack old peaple as 'Ecum' and proposes condemning thent to very long prison sentences, what does he call the -loyalists' in Belfast who attack and wound over 60 policemen and what punishment would he sug gest for them? HE

Bangor AYE

News $oup 05

fra/t -5 6o fe"A/tv Boo*

is reading

4 il*;('

S*/astian fr.ufts,

e/ui

in b*c*n6*r

z?th Oeto6*r

zO,2

t d c/x( tn the 6ac* root4 PoliticAl Over-Combs The Spectator is weekly awash with photos of councillors frowning and pointing at broken winrJows while their hair cuts fight a losing battle against inclement weather. These pictures and the stories that accompany them i#e there to illustrate how hard our councillors ate working to sort our problems out.

I can't be the only one who sometimes wondcrs what goes on off-camera.

A letter in the Spectator's ever*

shrinking Opinfum secrion

( 13th

September) repofis that an unnamed member of the DUP recently refused to sign a local voter's apphcation for an Irish passport. The lettw writer

quotes ttre official concerned as saying, *'f can't sign that, I'm a

replied, saying that he was not the MLA involv&d, even though the Ave hacl at. no point suggested that he was. Mr. Easton went on to say that we shoulcl contact HQ in Belfast with any questions we may have about official party policy.

On speaking to 'd member of the DUP press division at the Belfast headquarters, we were informed that there was absolutely no policy that would prevent .e party member from signing any type of passpoff ford constituent. So bastcally, whenever the DUP member described in the aforementioned letter failed to sign il

passport, this failure depended entirely on person ally held beliets that do not hold with the party line.

What is more, this MLA is still

member of the DuP."

roaring about the

The Aye wrote an email to Alex Easton, one of the most prominent members of thc Bangor DI.JP, asking if this kind of a Gaction is prescribed by official party policy. Mr. Easton

frowning at things and getting their hair-cut lovingly photographed by the Spec. Don't have nightmares.

AP

countryside

r.uuuJ. .tr0eufy ()6 what'p fhg matter?

starrings

swoop

the sky with

what's goin-[ on with all the stuff?

A thought and a thousand wings, Juiceress jaffa rights lurch

what's happening ro this energy?

Down on everythingf.

Unreached, an eerie bluâ&#x201A;Ź, Unurelcome

but

beckoningr

.

Iike a crippled

Night lights invisibre heckringr .

Burst onto a street of bright, All awash with dead shoppers who've rost their sight with advertised eyes instead. carrier bag carrying compurso ry clasped in a clutch of feathers. consistentry acting impursi_ve Ly , Always flocking together.

Then sink into a side stre et-, The wercome warrnth of da rk, starrings sweep a hide and seek High above the park. watch this skydance silhouette f,ike a tatty f 1applng f} eg, Furious frutter, east to west

unlverse

shimmering images shine untrue,

Not carrying carrier

!{ichael BeII

bag[s.

it cannot breathe.

what's going on rvith all* this stuff? changing matter, ch3n*ui!_e

form'i construction ancl

destruction.

Iike titchy screws t.

ln a masslve clock not sure of their purpose.

TJ.

Bangor AYE

0pinion etc.

OT

6et lT ,uf .'Yel l[*tt'\'()u got it slor'\ ,\(lu

Carepark

rvottlrl likt: lu lrll:t Is t.lrr'fl s(]rrrt't,lrirri; .tr (]u'\'r,

(received 12.07.12) Dear All Saying Aye, ;rlrvlr.r's w'anlrtl to #q,l ufl'' Everyone knows big ( ] t' t ltl .1'()ll r t'[tt'sl i' .vt]u jrrst fi:t.l Iikt' a r1,'(.(. r';rrrt,) business has literally had llrtl1r us iln (,-nlail 'Jl': the high street but my y{ct':i n I xr r.{'()nr I lit rr grl sake V/al-Mart don't rub tll'It'avt' il ('()IIilnt'ttl ()n it in! {,tIr' liu't'lxxtk xrgr': The bright grssn is a l'&('b()()k.{'()nr llangrlr'.\l li gteat place to shop, no one can argtle with that but seriously...

Why do ASDA feel 1;1

i111"

1

Facebook Comment Box

"yay

!

,t

appl y unde r the f .c.j-. (siclact Lo N. D. B. C. and qet details cf Lhe mas s ive debt- / expose Lhe vfieless t J-nccr{Lpet. an t {si*) c. e. o. {sic} for what he L8 and geL Lhe raLepayerfi uni t"eC and qeL hznz drumed (.s ic ) out r. ." 't

the need to station a 'Parking Enfo rcement Fella' there to deprive the 5% of the good citrzens of Bangor a quick tree

Int sgrated Csntral Primary School ( free

parent's pas.s (if you remember to bring it (don't tell anyone but the aforementioned'Parking Enforcement Fella' picks his kids $p too so you san probably chance it)))?

Free for all is the least

they could do in exchange for the scars left on Main Street" t)ive something back Wal-Street, eYery little helps! us all.

park for an hour or so Yours, when the other 950A of A.C.

parkees are either

The Aye

s

given tLl parking charge seYeral opportunities 'ret-unde d') or picking for ASIIA to respond to their darlingses up frorn h,C's letter but we have Bangor Central hetrrt nothing yet. shopping there aayway

ha

Watch this space. Eds.

CONTACT US AT: bangoraye@in box.com

Bangorians

Bangor AYE

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Bangor AYE

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t, tlo ;rn.r-tlrirrg alre.rur ir.'l'lrt'r rl, i.t lrl u{' gtxxl slu|\' sur:h itx llr nrilrkt,ts irt llu^ $u n krn gttt'dons. r'u rl rr irrg tlrr' S tr rr rl;tv. ttttrt'ttitt# t,ltt' lxxtl;, sillt. on (Jrrr.(.lt s ltrlttatlt ;rrrrl Itn)lt,;ittg,r.igirurl irlr.;rs l'ot "'l'lrr {)ay"'ils rvr lik* te r rall ir rr lrilsr ;rr rllt, ri;rrn*

s()ut'{'(;' o{' [\trrtlirrg' nr('iurs

rvit lr flr,itss t o$l'b

cr;rrn plc:.

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lh is ix t.ht. r'asr,.

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l harr

>e*fitt;,ls

t

r

woswl,.,:"

Og

ltrrtltlr

tn :' .l avt tt'

I

rls,rl ltlittt.

"lrr Srullarrrl, Irusirrr's"* r,t,ft.1t.lirr14 is (:firnlnrlslrr-r lurtl it slrotrlrl ltr ltrri^ Uttt. 'l'ltirrk ,l' all tlrr ryasrt, tlral is g*rterzllt.rl ly\, l Itr rrflril ar;,td s(,r'],it:t: irrrlrrstr'], iint:h ltlirr6; ylilrrs sucll ils cat't, llrllllr:,s rnnl r;t.lttx rls, t{nrtltttsliililt..

I

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rcrty.t:ltd n-t{tt {, tt,r

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sigri{icittil,lt {,rrl ll*,: l*nd-lill til.\, r:r:lxfili

Irr

?roltt]rr]"1," tlxtlL l.lrc r,;rl r.s and ;tl lmt:I it rtlrr-rlt' lwt*l o{' lxrxittrss(:s lltall. iv't: lrtrl ttlT lt\, ttyerltrads its l.ltlrn sl;,itn rl." 1l tl t

Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities.

Voltaire (1694-17751

Bangor AYE

Bangorians tO

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on

check out the new Album

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SHU, THErr Elaffi!

Bangor AYE

Food,

lt

An ilegant Sufficimc! b,*cer .&oryhock Depending on what sort of a mood you're in, the Bangor Fligh Street offers a smorgasbord of dives and

deleslablo$, hoppy hours and homicides. On the occasion in question, it was a bahny Septernber evening afler a fraught week and teelrng the werght of a cruel world heaxy upon our should ers, the Better Halt and I wanted to spoil ourselves.

So we ctpt*d for the top drawe

r

and sst.

a course for Coyle's.

Coyle's is ons o{ t:he town's greatest pubs. We have spent many a happy afternoon downstairs slowly drinking the bar W but the upstairs r-estaurant has until recently only rcally existed on the edge of our awarefiess. This time we noticed a chalk board at the main entrance that bid us try the L25 menu: A meal flor two with two courses each and a bottl e of wine. [t struck us that it would be foolish not to give it a go.

On reaching the top af the stairs at six o'clock we pushed open doors finished with a patr of deli cale stained glass pafiss and brass art nouvsau trimmings. A*y, our attentivs waitress was there ta meet us, direcling us to a Iable for four so that we would have some space to eat, drink and speak sxpanxively. A very good slart.

For our wine we took Amy's recCImmendation of a Sauvignon Blanc from Concha y Toro; a dec ent, unpretentious number that was cooled to crisp pcrfection. Apa*. from the drink the 5-7 o'clock menu includes a

startw and a main course with a choice

of three rJishes fi:r eash. The Better tlalf went far the psppered beef and pannesan salad to start and I took the mussels rnariniere. During the wait we

had

a quafl and soaked up rhe

ambience of the place.

Amongst those in the know, Ihe modern rectpe far restautant success says thut Beige is Best. Coyle's has used this advise well. On the crearn walls ars hung berge canvas squares arranged gsametrically beside othr;r squares {differing only very slightly in hwe) farmin g a sefies of studies in offwhite twentyrfirst century vogue. The eye is stroked in all directions by a sea

of high-backed leather chairs

upholstercd in black and caulitl owsr white and a soothing selection of hits from the great crooners softly caresses the ears.

One teatvre gently arrests the as they scan the magnolia

peepers

ceiling. A large stucco cornic e-piece.

This strikingbwt not over*beartng {bcal point frames four panels of stained glass thal describe leafy forms inte;rtwiwed in an elegant art nouveau style.

Food Le

Bangor AYE This glass-work, flound

lsewhore

After another well appointed break

throughout the space, serves as a nice srgnature mottf . Clolourrr,d in subtle earthy tones, it helps to sharpcn the sotter corners of the ov erall scheme.

Our starters arriv ed aker a wait that

arrled with a flourish. Mine was a {Lat iron steak with garhc butter, salad and lries.

The BH took the pan frisd sea bream, white onion pwree, pancetta and red wine jut. Both of us were pretty much blown away. My steak was cooked to a te?,

was shorl buf not

e

so

to sugge st corfler-cutting shenanigans in the short as

and a, deep breath the mains

blee,dtng

kitchen. Bee;{ salad has alwayx struck ffIs as a bit at a stranga nation

the-mouth. Fries to match; crwnchy on't outside and flutty in't

of the

presentation

rniddle

to the point ot with

a

good mixed salad and

a

.

The show-xtopper was the bream" The chef handled this tncky frsh with aplomb and the BH asks me to show

\n/as

exquisite; meat {tnely sliced and cooked rare aclventurouslless

n

sqlueeze; boldly seasotred and rnelt-in-

but the BH was astute in her choice. The cut was nice and the

quality

with only

slight

particular appreciation for the crunchy skin, courageously left rntaet.

sprinkle of parmesan fbr zing. My mussels were beyond compare

tffhite onion

pwres

supported the whole

rn terms of quality, taste

and colour with ontl of the richest mariniere sauce$ I've had the pleasure to slurp. The distinctive crunch and

and deserves a mention fbr providing

tang of roughly chopped shallot helped to lighten any heaviness even though three slices af crusty breacl tried to

rcvicwer's opinion, by a couple of new potatocs for a bit more traction.

As thc monkey disregards thc ruby on the beach, wc are all guilty of being

sink me. t have an inkling that somtl sort of choice ch eess was providing an almost illicit steroidal boost to the general decad enee of the thing.

have bsen improved,

in this humble

blind to thc trcasures on our

streets.

This monkcy scrcaffis, "Coyle's has an upstairs. f)on't walk on by. Paradise is lound abovc!" SH

BANGOR MARKET resh

a

gossamer sweetness that could only

ables, fruit, Meat and Fish s, Herhe and any kind of Battery Wednesdays Early mornings - { o'clock

Bangor AYE

fnd,ia tS

Wfte,n L utn6 ll rr r i tt p;' .rl .o r: k r.r/

[n Lndlaooo

(t.r'r'ir,(:t; ul hi,s fittrt/ rlr':;tittrtl iott; l)tis1tt,t't

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1 .=

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fi' L d LY

?art" IV- ErTcou rtl,era

WirhA Snake I arrived at Pnrspect Estate where I was to spend the night with the manager Bonso and his wife, Jcanie, in their palatial bungalow

before being shown to my own. 'I"he estate was in the Nilgiri, translated literally as Blwe ?lLlls, in South lndia in the state of Tamal Nadu about 30

L'{umpty-Dumpty. Whereas Jeanie was a thin, dour woman whose father, a

Scot, had also treen

miles north of the hill station

of Ootacanrund, or Ooty as it

is firore commonly called.

the frnglish midtands. It reflected confidence in continuing rightful sratus.

Bonso who had curiously green eyes had a lotrk of a genial farrner and the shape of a

';'

I

had anived in thc middlc ol" the monsoon and the estatc,

ol' over 7,A$0 fect, was immerse d in thick nr ists which was at an altitude

-.

'

1

':;'

,,,'

British in Colonial India and

she retained the formal maRRers of' a lady who still placed her trust in the rigid

L 1 ,,'

of the Indian RaJ. Although she was hospitable her genero si.ty was care fully measured. A small clinner

social etiquette from the days

reducing the visibility to less t'

protect the front of the trungalow from the driving rain. Inside lug fires hurned in the rnain rooills in an attempt to control the insinuating darnpness. To rne the contrast betrvcen the miserable

tea

,tti,.t '"',1

,,

Monsoon shutters \vcre in place around the veranda ta

a

planter so she had lived much of her early lif-e atrsortring the .,.,,...,..?,., cttstonts and outlook of thg i"

dank

conditions otrtsidc and the walTR interiar of the house creatcd a sense of privileged refuge' from a hostile worlcl. The dark fbmiture was predominantly l:tlwardian lrnglish with sonle

token Indian pie.ct-s that would have sat comfbrtably irr a rniddle class home with in

pafty had been aruanged and

we were joined by fuur men in their twenties anrl early thirties from neighbo urtng estates.

leanie believed in maintaining a divide tretween the generations which constrained conyersation within a banal formality. As the

evening progressed with faltering

conversation and increasing awkwardness the terrsion became too much and when leanie, having carved a chicken, asked CIne of the men if he liked stuffing someone giggled. For some minutes there

Ind,ia 14

Bangor AYE lvas only the spluttering of

suppressed

pertraps I should not leave v"aluables lying

giggting as we behaved like a pack of school boys with po taced Jeanie and Bonso the

about. The cook's helper, Kempa*

embarrassing,

said the manager as he pre,pared to leave me at my bungalow, '"1'll see you on Vriday. ln the mean time you are in charge of 4A$ acres of tea and 4AA men" Only one maR speaks frngLish atrd you can't believe a word he says. Ciood Luck!"

A thin, wetting ratn swept across tlte ocean of tea in gusts and from somcwhere in the

disapproving staff. lt was intensely

The next rnornin g Bonso, now dressed in shorts and looking like klumptlr-Dumpty in en egg cup, was preparcd ts drive me to my own bungalow, He explained that the estate was divided into several divisions and that I would be in charge of Lower Prospect. On the way we {)assed through acre$ of'tea fields the bushes forming a thick cover level to the slopes of the hills. The monotony of the tea was tntewapted by lines of shade trees planted for their fich leaves that mulched the

, and for their on their roots, The straight lines of trees rising out of the

earth when they

f'eII

nitrogenous nodules

compact surface of the tea gavs the fields a cultivated torunality and I understood why in s{Jrne districts the estates are called tea gardens.

I3are fboted womeR pickers waded up to

their waists through the tea carrying large baskets on their hacks held in place by wadding that passed across their foreheads. 'l'hey plucked with amazing speed being paitl by the pound weight, picking

leaves' and tossing the

-a

bud and two leaf over their

shoulders with unerring accuracy into their baskets. They wore sacking to protect their

colourful saris which they had tucked

araund their waists.

As they

up

worked their arrns jingled

Rurnsrous bracelets otl softly. The male maistries or ftrrefiien stood in the fields beneath umbrellas watching the rvomen and ensuring they plucked the bushes

to the same level. ]"he men wore shoes which, I learnt, together with the umbrellas \trers symbals of authority.

As we arrived at the bungalow my house staff tumbled out and lined up at attention. 'fhere was a cook, a cook helper, gardener and sweeper. The sweepe r was shared befw'een several bungalows, but the gardener was my own although the garden was only a strip of earth a couple of feet wide that lay between the house and lhe tea and the only

flowers that

I

sver saw bloom there were

opium poppies. The cook, Thomas"

had

recently been released from gaol for thieving, but Bonso assured Ine that he was a gtlod

chap really although he cautioned that

drl

was

scribed as just a sirnple rogue.

"Right"

mist came the jangle of the pluckers' bracelets.

ln spite of the lack of- communication lunch appeared at lunch time, in the evening a }rot bath was poured fbr me and by night time my bed was waiting ready made. On my tlrst night as a tea planter tn my own bungalow I fell asleep to the sound of a

family of rats frolicking in the roof

space.

The next day Thomas, u,ho had picked up a tritling of bngtish during his sojourn in gaal" rnanaged to understwd that I would prefer ntrt ts share the bun gal*w with rats and caffis

up with the perf'ect solution. The n:ight the sound

of

second

pitter-patter above my

head was replaced by the swish-swish of a rat snake. Once its duty was done the snake took itself off and I rvas left to quiet nights.

This was my tirst encounter with snakes.

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I

lrr ll;u'r'r's lirrrr'. lrrrli;r lrittl .ittst slilrpctl ltrr.i'. 'l'ltis \\its lt lirrtr""lrt,lirrti t'all ('('lrlr'('s itttrl skr sr'r'il1)('t's w'ht"tr lrrtlia \\:rs slill llrorril'lrl ol'lrr \\('st('I'tl lltlolrlt' as :r l:trH','l) un(lisr'()\,('t't.rl) attrl nr\ slcri( )lri lrrr r,l. l'rrt' il .\(,tIntr4 lrtrt,k likc I lrtt't'\. ltis :ll)lxrirrlttttJttI grr"irrrtist'tl lriglt rrr lr ('nl ur'('.

llrc

Bangor AYE

!!r-r=Effi

Sport t5

ffi@lmesHullington

EnJlsilnr,s The B,andoi &gpg1rt

wlth larne,e rrrrlllni*^* wlthJameerullin$ton

MLS (Maiar Leagae Soccer lJSh)

This m*nth's RLR takes us to Toyota ?ark t-" Chicago USA {rtr some Major Leagae soccer action with chicaga Fire takin{on

*

AJ O;7-r

Chicago Tire vs

L.h.

Calaxy $Sl0T

llZI

This seemed ta be a wise tactical change as eago Fke began aperating more

Cf_!i

L.A. tialaxy (Yes, rhafs the tieam yer, *un Beckma* plays fnrlt. This lerokeri to be a

nt{ensively hitting L.A. Galaxy's tefbnce on the counter play several times but still {ailing to $cfire. On the haur rnark L.A.

sitting mid table in there respec tive

Jirnene

good match up pre-game a* both teams are

conferences and as such both teams were lonking ta take all the points in a bid to rcac*t the MLS Play-0fl.s. lt is as always warTh mentioning that L.A. Galaxy have a superior number of Brazlhans witfrin tbere roster boasting fbur and chicago Fire only havingthe one.

Both teams lookcd lively as the frrst half got underrn ay with L.A Galaxy -a creating the lirst chancc on goal with

good volley elfort li'om .just outside the penalty box in the I lth minrtc. It was hack and forth until the 21n' minutc when L.A. Galaxy were awardcd a pcnarty for a hand

Galaxy substi tuted mid fielder

Hect<tr

z tar Bryan Jordan to add some

to their midfie ld

although

L.h.

pac.e

srill

to cantatn the energetit chicago Fire and Galaxy srill held anio the leati*at stnrgglecl

0- 1 as the clar,khir T0 minutes. On the T6rh

minute Chicaga Fire hit a shot wrde allowing L.A. Galaxy hit on the c*unter

and Robbie Keane to score frum abeautiful ran from the mid fielrl making it *-Z to L.A. Galaxy as the clack approaches g0 minutes. L.A. Galaxy kept the pressure on

ball by crhicago F ire dct'c,crcr .lalil Anibaba

Ibr the last minutes of regular time ancl Robbie Kr;ane nearly scored again as hc picked trp e long ball from the midfie lcl but found hirnsel { all alone upfront ancl was closed dorn n by th.e {'.hicirgo de fence as the game moved into injury tirne.

Four minutes o{ stoppage time to be playerJ with L.A. Galaxy *tiJf looking

still to play. flur tlcspire the rlrama af tlte goal the rest of thc lirst half resulted in a Irtt of defensivc play as Chieago y*e xtruggled to brcak clorvn a relentless L.A. Galaxy midficld. Ir was L,A, Galaxy that certainly lookcd thc more confident ri.l* o*

comrncntatw xtated that" this was a good '"Shut-Out" t-ar L.A. tialaxy and I wilt try to {ind oat wihat exacily this means tbr neit RLR issue. L.A. Galaxy continaed the gortrS l'orm until the final whistle althnugl,t a good elTsrt fiom thc home team Chicago

which Robbie Keanc scorccl by sending chicag* F*e kecpcr Sc.an Johnson thi wrong way making it one up t0 the visitors L.A. tialaxy with rhc rest of the tirst halt

the hall'time rvhistlc blew.

Chicago l-"ire macle {J*e change at halt timc ancl rcplacecl Arnerican midfie lder

Logan Pausc with their Brazilian Alex a clear sign tlrat c'hicaga meant business.

goorl.

I do have to

mention that

the

Fire. JH

Final Score: Chicago Fire Galaxy

0

2

L.A.

Bangor AYE

ru@rockypeakes SPort

16

ffiffiffiFXY-ffi ffiffiffiFIffiY ffiffiffiffiTtr Th* Z**

Wffif,Y'ffiY ;ffiY'*uff&

ffiww"ffiwwr,fflw

So, hockey fans, the new season is almost upon us! Are yau excited Yet? I am. So much so, in tact, th'et I have had ta buy & wheile new set. rtf diarnon d-studded C'akin's.

With a Aew hockey $eason comes a whale new bunch al'PlaYers, caaches and backroom rstatf. lJnlike soccer ({ootball ttl you Ways) hackey playerr; in the EIHL (Elite Icc Ho *key League) only get offered I year contraets (sometimes 2 yeats), so the atl

kantic dash ta gel tor the right avail'ahle players the best ssa$on usually brings &

money and try to build a Championshipwinning side. The vast majority o* a British ice hockey team ats tlew playets, and here ['m going to give you a rlfft down of the new

team thal, Belfast (iiants head caach Doug C'hristiansen has been assembling ttris off sgason.

al the back, DC has to re-stgn both his #artrng antl

Startrng managed

ff;|#{ff;r,i*ffid

and Sam Roberts (1*7SA) have also srgnerl,

giving the Gianl,s defence some

extra

*usc[e. Brock Mathestln {CA'}, a lok-handshooting $ntario native, rounds out the rleteniee.

And so we continue on to

the

Farward line*, the showmen, the grJys whei step up to the ptate anrd put the puck in the back of the tret. Now, last season's fbrwards set the bar just a litfle hrghar than it htrs becn, hawever with stwr player Roh Dowd mrrving ta Swleden, DC has had his work cut gut ftir him t0 smulute last sea$on's tally.

(By the way, Davrtl Simms fiom Sky Sports

EIHL show was extremely distraught at Dowdy Leaving the EIHL. t think he secretly had "a thitrg" tar llowdy" lsez., that

alone would give n\s nightmats#', since David Simms strongly resembles a "Manchild'').

DC has munaged t'a re-sign a

backup rretmrndets in Stephen Murphy (UK) (best goulie in the league, in this repnrtefs 6pinion) and Andrew Dickson (wt), one af three local bred talents in this team. MurphY, or "MurPh*'as he is affectionalely known &s, has been the

strong care of last sgason's t$rwards,, with

backbo ne tr; the $iants in recent ycars, and the tsasons that the League was one Championship c(rnte home to Belfast last

F

at

'

y9$:r.

to the defence, DC has

Moving only brought back one playet tiopr last sea,s$n: Graeme "Wally" Walton (NI). Thc 6'1" tselfast-horn &efenceman has been a $alwart for his entire Giants c&reet, and is moving into his testrmonial yeat. f)ave

Phillips ({*trK} and Rob Sandrock (CA) both return l0 the (liant*, havin I prsvtously iced lbr Beltast in pa;t seasons but had both gone olT to pastures new. will colbert (c:a1

Craig Peacock {UK}, Mark (}atsirJe (UK)' Gareth Roberts (NI), Adarn Keefe (CA) and Danyl Lloytl (CAl all retuming to defend

thcir lcague title. fr.urly in the cttf season, DC signecl Matt Towe (UK| from Guildtord

I ltlr one am quite excited to him play in a Giants uniform.

So uow wc are lctt wirh the rcst of

larne.s, attd

scc,

tlre import l-ortl'ards, or the {oreign

Itrryarcls. DC has brought in a lat of talent lronr thc AIIL (Arncrisan *lockey League) arrd thc lrur'()pcillt Lcagttes, but there is also

cluitc u hir ol'

NtlL cxpcriefice too. Noah

Clarkc (l.JSn ) cpprcs t6 the Giants franchise

2l NHL gamos, trttlstly lilr L.A. Kings. Central Hockcy l-eagtlc All-Star Daymen Rycroft (CA) arrivcs li'otrr Arizolln Sundogs and has

l'ront (icrm:tny, hrrt has played

scgrcd 25 9r' tnol'c lloals in 6 consecuttive

Bangor AYE sear;ons.

Feuilleton

It woulcl $eom that this guy just

LT

has

to look at the puck and it'll make it's own way into the nett, Next up is playmaking forward Scott Champagne (ClAy. This guy should be interesting to watch. I watcherl him play against" Be lfust (iiants last season far

Nottingham Panthers, and I must aimit, I liked what I saw. He is a great passer of the

puck, and will tnereass our chances of scoring. Hs will lite;rally make the Giants torwards better with his vision and ac$urety, Snipe r Andre w F r;urnier (C A)

to the Belfast torward unit from 0lo{stroms IK in Swcden, wherc he manage& 27 goals anrl 53 points fram 10

moves

fuffiwgb trrL;L. eb,Awap*

games last stlason . DC, has heen quoted as sarying, "I really believe we une aflhe{J a gem '} here late in the otf-season.,. (he has a kiack of scoring big goals".

C'ompleting the ftirwartJ unit is 26 ysar old Ontario native Greg Stewart (Ch).

Looking to

WM EI W

As recently as 2 years 0go, Stewart was playing for one of the most lamous hackey teams in the world, the Montreal Canadrens a{ the "Original Six" NHL teams. He has

played 26 games over Z seasons for Montrsal, and his willingncss to "drop the gloves" will makc hirn an instant fan tasourite at the Big O this seasorl. After all, tlrat's what a lot ol' hockey lirns go to ses,

lots of knocking thc **'k'r out of each other.

So thcrc ws hervc. it, tht: Z0l1ll3 Bel{ast Giants havc bccn assembled, and will be going all out to retain their championship titlc.

1r;

I arn a llrrn believer that

put together a lcgcndary, truly

great

hackey team in this lcaguc, yoa need a goarJ mix of British, ('anuclian, American, and Eastern European ( AKA stickey *stoney*onths-trszen-lake) playors, and a whole bunch

of

balls. Ok, s() Belfast d,an't have any Stickey-Stoney-on-the-F'ro zen*Lake type players, hut thcy rlo hav e a load at ballx, and the size of thosc balls should make the

clear out or free up eome

caeh?

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Belfast Giants.

a?s"tr,t::

0pen hlic Hight LB

Bangor AYE

Wqruffi M ffim ffiffiffiffiW ffirgx

wWW uiffi'

As the various perfr>rrrrcrs set ap

fe

their

eq*ipment and the assembleel c$mqtary

I tried to recall haw I had arrived here. The ,$;e ofllces were in a state af mare than usual chaos tanight and I simply had ta get rlLtl. I sat grincling rny teeth in front of my computer for two hours not ?*owing where to begin with my arts column, listentngto ?ritt and Wright in the next room arguing {rver their equally began to laok restless

stupirl takes on local politics.

I

am

surroun detl by idiots.

Half an hour befbre I had been glsn

leave to dismiss rnyself l finally mana5ed ta screw up my coura5e and took a chance at e*cape. I had to duck past Mac's oflice. *:r;r some reason the blinds had been lefr" open while he visited a beillocking upon poor old Cecil for a minor gramm atrcal

effor. Therc is nt pe'dce here and there is certainly no peace at hsme (don't ask) ,so after I was sure t:hat I hu* efrefitvely made my exit,lwalkeduntil thit a pub.

Downstairs in Cayle's, an opsn mic night w&s in the ofling, Say what you will, I haye always felt that true enteftainment comes improvrsed. Weigh this against thc office an* those that insist on the title ol' protessr$nal and the balance only ever comss out in favour of the amateurs. The lJniverse had provided me with a worthy suhject for my already overdue capy and I wasfi't gaingta waste it.

A clelicious gtnger beer is doing the

ry!ffimT Wfr

# ffiEt

miffi ,ryj W iPu*u*W,mW

Ta kick things oft, Michael treatetl us tc: p$ern. Now d<tn't w$ffy, as I admif/.redly &irJ ut tirst. Miks's work is of an unusually 'd

high standard. His opening piec*

vtas

called *Bungorosity", a Ginsbergian howl at the mooil that warled in the face a{ our town's languorous nature in & tight a*d aften tnteresting meter. l was happy to hear Snow Patrol re{erre* to in the only terrns that really frt, tlescribing Lightbady and his heinous crew with the most power{ul obscenity in lhe English lexicon , lt's about bloody trme. I was thoroughly enloying my;el{ as I ardered the third rlrink a{ the night.

Bell left the stage to xt;alterr,d A large man tn a louri shin then

MY, applatrxe.

introduced himself as Jonny B. His xetwas somewhat compromised by ir recalci1lr:ant PA system but he p$wered thraagh it like a pro. He displayed good crowd control with a repertory set that was gcnuincly hean{elt if a little staid.He gaye us some competent

tirrger picking on an cbony finish guitar and it was a shame that most of the punters weren't quite warmed up enaugh to give hirn his due.

Mike gav$ us another poem? this time

a lrustrated attempt at pulling an attractive lady in the Limelight which had us all cringing in recognition blefore & man about

wlro had already macle his v$tce heard without an oflicial invitatian took the

lt is dangerously

stage. I'herc is alr,vays ons as they say aruJ this time it rvas Savage Ed. This man w&s drtrnk (and I don't mcan tipsy) but rletying

cleared two botlles in as many elraughts.

Ah, the rsstsrative powerrl of a good tipple .

all expcc:tatiorrs, hc was awe$ome. I don't want to borc anybody lvith gnttar talk but Ed's axe was hcautil'u[. A slim-line lacquercd instrumcnt with & colourful

rounds at the moment.

easy to drink and atter only a mattw ot minutes and with a consi&erable ap,petrte, I

Sefrtre long the office lr/as il distant memory and s fell{rw callei Mu;hael Bcll presenterJ himself us the compere {or Coyle's apen mic night, explaiurng things lor

tho se

of us who were there by acr:idenl,

tloral pattcrn inlay cncircling eccentrically placcd sound holcs that said, onl might be pissed but I can play."

Bangor AyE

9pq* &Iic Hight r9

Ecl sat dorvn and set abo

ut tr*atrng us to t an open mic* night should be, rambli ng thror.rgh 'his his tn-ltue take on

sense

*f

wha

set

with

a

tempo like an arhythmic heartheat.

Apart frorn what I think niigtrt have been a Metallica {avaurite and ; xpattering ot

possible R&B eovsrr;, I,m nit s*re what tunes he was playing but they afi seemed t$

have far longer endings thun was (iv,,r intended by the originalTuthars. Each coda was iLn l*{ew Age syrnphony with the now inebriated aurlience- pioviding premature applaase at svery oppartuiliry,A more I autspoken patron rcqaested frow,n Eyed Girt. blJ hardly looked up from the fiet board &$ he shouted, "I don't know that afic" and sel otT into a tortureti renrlition of the

Thing s wsre begin* ing to deteriarute so I called for a drink anrl teiok some time aut for a long deserved bag break. r came back to find a yoang lanky chap standing with his bass around his ankres and h"is eeger

acaustic guitar playing

enamsred

mysel{

{iood like some

Eventually someone must have called mercy and thc duo slunk off looking odclly, inexplicably pleased with

themselves.

Next {rp was a young nlan named Ross in a brand new flat" cap who gave us a string ol'tunes conce rning subjects that even he aclmittcd he kncw little about "r've never takcn clrugs but"*ry this is a s.ong about drug adclicti.rn", he said as I &

" Fair play to thc guy; hc r,+trr;te his own tunes and thcy wcrcn't that bad for a

young {rella.

sauntering back in, I orcrcrctl yet another byew against my croctor's best Ldoir* and almost {ailed to noticc mustaclrioso l.{eil Phi.lipl employing an inreresring plucking te{:h.nique that un l"ortunate ly* failed to screwer|

He had the shut cycs a,cl steepled brow of a seiuncl.

man who doesn'r care whether or not his aurlience can hcar him. Luckily we cauldn,t.

John Lennon's w'orking cJuss Hero is dirgey enough rvithrur sr6wi ng it trown to a point that makcs evalutio,i* srumhling progress sesnl lightnin g fast.

crazerJ

Burll destroying & Rembranr.

beverage.

an intcrcsli,g

I was nqt {isappoin tsd. They &.ave us

children hopped ap on Ited

missed the rest fram choking with laughter on my ftiurth

pr<>duce

the point af

F'iglrters and tlzcn ttid the dumbfounding aadacity ta trample all over Johnn7* Be

"That's elose enough,, and I

was t inrc to go ,utsicie Ibr

of themsr,lves to

the goddamn Killers and the braody Foo

member gulderred back,

d it

rJy siuing besiie

drowning. Even befr;re they sta.lted playing I knew that we were about ia be subjected to something truly aw{ul anr| an settling

twelpe bar blues. Saicl crowd

decide smoke

bud

him in ready position, They were oivi*usry

As a grateful communal exhalation blcw the {oam aff

& whaek of pinrs, the high paint of t\e cventng took his place . stai ri* Elvis Man was well worth the wait. Theye LS a traclition

foundad on tone tl,,af o1d men who insist that, had it nat been for the trouble with the strong preseriptian medici ne and the banana and bacon s_andwiches, The King wotrrtl be

quite literally taking up residenfe in some unknown backwater 6r their conscience.

stan is not one of them . He has a real voice lnd a hefty chunk of charisrna thar his we il f":ry*! gut. cannat clisguise r.vsn though hc tol! the jake about writing songs v on the

t*ilet no less thun three times.

stan's admiratrle perfurmanee cailed a l* an *, venin g thit I won 't s{r*fi forget.

1 -wove my way home cadrhled in a *ir* close

glaw that lasted u,til wakiug tbe next a that {br l&s pleasant reasons will"morning never allow n1s to firget its prcgcnitor. GoorJ gas. ?y morning,

Bangor AYE

Toob

eO

freeman

fenwi*Smytht This morning I awoke to find a giganric pig standing at the back dtror chewing on a treetroot amidst a scene of utter carnige and

destruction. My pnze sow had slipped 6er sty at some ungodly hour and der":imated the

vegetable pafch. When I stumbled blearyeyed upon the scene she glanced over her

shoulder insolently, gave an inten og atory snort and sauntered off' to who-knows-what new calamity seem ingly ufiaware that anything.was amiss. It is my principle never

tcr. slaughterr an animal antil they have exhausted all othrr us$s but this porcine pandemonium has sfretched that principle to its limit. I hope the wrerched beast linows how close it came to having its bacon fried. lt took nre the first half of the day to clear up the mess and take stock of the damage

which was, Iuckily for the now

recapture,J

beast, widespread trut

mi*imal. With rhi back trf the work broken by lunch time I sat down to enjoy a cald beverage aruJ a ploughman,s on the veranda. Having got myself outside a couple of pints of rny owrl curious cider trre thought of my televisual duries was not so layytiyg es it had been at six in the moming.

Still" I don't rnind telling you that it,s ; damned shame lo ha e to turn one's back on thebeayty of Llillffarm on such a fine day for sometlring so sqaalaraus as TV. The ediiors' neck-bre athing is becorning irksolne however, so in we go again, I shoulei wafll yorr that since our last

excursion, the lunatics have taken over the asylunr. (Singerly ruming the handle of the door to the "lbobsphere we are thrown back by the sheer fbrce of the nonsense that is rampant hehind it. Against a howling rvincr that seeks to strip the minel of self iontrol layer by layer, we must use what rernains ot' our will to cross the threshold snharrned and slam the door behind us. We're in. A hush descends but the respite is a short one. It is pitch dark. A shriek tiorn sonle far ofT comer

cuts the air aruJ echoes around our bervildered ears. Stay still.

As $cene

I light a kerosine lamp, the clreadtirl is given a sickly illumination. aig

Brother on *:ive alm*st succeeds in grabtlinf me bet-ore lve have' eveR started. It plans t; beat us all to dearh with a diaiy chair resemhling Rodin's fiates of klell buf having been here betirre, I am prepared, I swing thE larnp towards its Ciollum eyes and witt a strangled squawk it scuttles back to its fetirJ

lair.

A mumhling creature shamt:les towards us.

Cherry k:{,ealey,, a perfect exem ?ilar of the kind of hopeless wretch that roams the outer [phere these days, hosts her own prografir on the B|RC. One look et this empt/ vessel preperes us fbr the fact that she is dessended fitrrn the chadwyck-Llealey Baronets and has

married someoRe called Roly. They havtto adrJ to the opacity or their already rnuddied gene pool by pioducing a

continued

danghter that they have named (aca, an act of abuse that has somehow passetl under the raclar of the social sl*rvices. L{ealey bouncs-s around rvearing sn o'l don't know what,s going oR" look on her f"ac'e while tac-kling

with unparalleled indelicacy the really

hor

issues of' contemporary lif-e.

In Che rry l{ealey: Love

she

and Moncy,

drags unsuspecting orange people into

a

corrvcrted warehouse space that she calls her "hub" and quizzes them cn why they havsn,t

durnped their ugly poverty strickeri spouses yet. Unsurprisingly, she is invariably unable to understand the answer and resorts to

plastering that tratlemark expression of

toftbe-noscd incornprehension al! over her stupid lhcc. wc had better move on beftrre she starts to spcak, a hor-ror that even the

rnost hardcncd c.rinrinals amongst

shouldn't bc lirrcccl to snclure.

us

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.

PGt r Urtlnoy (1927 -2OO4t

Bangor AYE

Toob et

Yallow me and rvatch your step. Wait, I think

I discem a fhint light in the riistince.

We must he getting close to safer territory. ?{ere comes

.fhelma's

Cypsy Girls, a wyrd sister of My, Big fr'nt {i.y,psy, Lfi'edding that has beaten a rnarginally more respectful path than her sihling ttrrough the long grasri of Channel 4.

Thelma is a seamstress specialising in the manwfasture

of wedding dresses t"or the A documentary team

travelling community.

follows her valiant attempts to teach the tricks

of the trade to a

gallimaufry

of

wenches,

generously providing the last gypsy standing with a job fbr li{'e. Thehma is a gootl woman with a powertirl moral sense but we all know

deep down that

this is not why we

are

watching. We're watching it fbr the same reasons that a certain kind ot' person might enjoy the sight of an old age pensioner being

unsucsessfirlly resuscitated on a supermarket floor. There is always the distinct possibility that. someone might actuatly die in one of the

many vicious altercations. Ilappily

nobody

cloes although sometirnes

I

it's toue'h and go. love the lingual gymnastics that the

traveller girls employ

in the absence of In one episode , a

standardised grammar. particularly dangerous looking specimen is hoping that she will be chosen by Thelma ro continue to the next stage of training. *'I wouldn't mind if I got puck"',, she says

displaying a fraw tor language that betrays the soul of a poet. Children do the same sort of thing when learning the language and "puck" seems at least as sensible as "picked" to this old coclger.

The light is now strong cnough to extinguish

our lamp hut trefore our cycs have time to properly adjust we are blindsided by a hefty burrage of' swearing. 'I'he ltarnsay appr{taches.

This ridiculous troglodyte of a thing

has

recently been roaming around prisons making an already hellish existcnce fhr worse for the inmates. ln Ramsay On Prison Life (Channel 4l', he is more than usually poisonous. "lf it's tough on the outside, I thirrk it should be tough on the inside", he says without a hint of irony. "t#hy should thcy bc sittin' on their arses. I want to get prisoncrs giving something back."

This rJeranged sentirncnt suggests he had never been in a prison bclirre this visit and I reckon it is ttow safb to say hc r,von't trc going back to oile in a hur:ry. Dcspite some valiant attcmpts by prisoners to tirtally repay the insult of his

presence by way of seriotrs injury alas the fool to bully another day. Heltr's

escapes unscathed

Kitchen (ITY) is far more enterlaining, mostly isn't around that much gxcept to throw the odd tantrum at fat yanks and caLl -big trecause Ramsay

everyone boy' regardless of their gender, 'Yes?!' fr*owgh af this barrel scraping. Onwards into the light. Revenge (C,hannel 4) is that rarcst of

things, a high quality melodrama.

"This

American beast is set amongst the great and the

gaod of the *Tamptons and is well photog raphed in &n almost hyste rically

colourful palette. Madeleine Stowe perlbrrns a wonderfully hamrny star turn as high-so cieg royal Victoria (irayson, a lady with a deeply sha,Jy past. She is responsible tbr ruining the Iife of a littte girl who has now grown up hellbent on ruthlessly exactin g the revenge of the title. This is Kill Bill rn,ith a clutch tlag. I,luge chunks of the dialogue are conducted in silence

by rvay of meaningful stares, raised eyebrows and the bigge*t hairdos qirrce Dynasg,. Plucky underdogs,, billionaire socialites and earthy bar

owners with designer stubble spice this unsubtle mix to a heady richness that makes it essential viewing for anyone with a decent sense of humour.

There is a lot of good non-fiction roaming the spacious prairies of the inner Sphere. Liarry Potter (no not that one), an ex-clergyman

tumed barrister gives us an interesting legal Iesson in The Strange Case $ the Law (8,[]C)

while the towering hsrbivore known as Storyville (BBC) shines an unflinching

spotlight on everything from the sordid nether warld of the lapanese modeling industry to tlre largely unknown plight of black Afiicans affbcted by albinism.

f'omedy is doing t\ne erren

if The

Might"v

abit rJerivative. I'm sure all tlre young dudes find it very arnusing and I probably would too if it weren't fbr the fact s,east is more than

that 1 know where it's all bcen nicked fiorrr. An

undeniahly

slick se mi-musical rorfip, it's

hasically The [;'light o{ the Conchoruls untidily

spliced

with Spared and unceremoniously

forced into a lblighW Soosh shaped sausage skin but it raises an occasional titter and the kiels shoulcl be given top marks for trying.

Right, that's it. Take only memories and leave only footprints. This way firr the exit and I'11 see you all back at the Wrong ffnd the next time round. tr*:S

Feuilleton

Bangor AYE

ee

Rrolp 0 Corw%Y wlth 4erda Dwwwos Victoria Sponge lteluye Edition lnqredients For the $ponge 2259r I 8oz Butter 2259r I 8oz Self-Raising Flour 2259r I Baz (Caster) Sugar

For the 150gr

Filling

I 5oz Strawberry

25$gr I

$az

Jam

Plus

a bit of icing sugar

Strawberries 1l2pl Double Cream 4large Eggs Vanilla Pod or Essence 1 nice Lemon (zest) same nice Lernon fiuice) This is not just a dry sponge sandwich nine: $rnear the cream mixture over it with a dribble of old jam wedged in next. Caution: lf the jam is still warm it between. This Victoria $ponge is a true will melt the cream and ruin the cake. delight and vary easy to make, too.

Tip: You can leave a little bit of cream for decoration.

Preheat the oven: 180oC ten: Put the other sponge on top ahd one Mix the butter and the $ugar until pre$s down very lightly. Make sure the tlufty with an electronic hand mixer. flat side is up. $prinkle $ome icing two Add the eggs, one at a time, and $ugar through a sieve on top. mix until bubbly and really fluffy. three: Add the flout stir it in a little bit to Decorating tips: avoid a flour-dust cloud. Continue with 1. You can pipe the cream on top or just electrical hand mixer. Tip: The longer smear a slim layer over the top you mix everything the better the instead of using icing $ugar. sponge will be.

2. You can use the strawberries for a four: Divide the sponge into two nice centre piece or a circle of halves greased spring forms. tsake in the around the edge. preheated oven for approx. 20 minutes.

3. You can do tip 2 and 3 together.

Tip: You know the sponge will be ready 4. Be creative. if you stick in a sharp knife, or any other pointy object, and no dough sticks to it.

Chocolate Yariation: five: Remove sponges from the forms 1. Add REAL cocoa to the sponge. and leave to cool on a wire rack.

2. Use orange zest instead of lemon six: Quarter the strawberries and warm zest for the sponge. them up together with jam in a poUpan.

3. Use a mix af strawberries, Leave to cool. Tip: lf you want you can raspberries, blackberries and leave tour or five of the biggest blueberries and a mixed berry jam. strawberries for decorating.

4, Do not put lemon juice or vanilla into seven: Mix the cream, lemon juice and the cream.

284m1

I

vanilla seeds/essence and beat until stiff.

eight: Put one of the sponges on a on a plale, flat side down, and smear the strawberry and jam mixture on it. (Don't worry if it's a bit runny, the $ponge will soak it in)

Bangor AYE

Feuilleton

A3

NOUCH$TUTT tlo. I for incensrnnd sltsrnutius slothing!

Bangor AYE

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takeS retiglorro Steven lllelnberg (oS.OS.rgCg-

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BangorAye September lssue Octob er 2AI2 FREE

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