INSPIRED Senior Living March 2017

INSPIRED senior living magazine

MARCH 2017

GRANDTRAVELLING: THE THRILL OF MACHU PICCHU SEX AFTER 60 ONLINE DATING TIPS OASIS IN THE HEART OF HONG KONG

AUTHOR/ACTRESS MARLENE WORRALL

Inspiration for peopleWWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM over 55 • www.seniorlivingmag.com

MARCH 2017

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MARCH 2017

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content

editor’s desk

MARCH 2017

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The Best is Yet to Come

by Kiana Karimkhani Grandtravelling: Machu Picchu

by Kate Robertson He Moved In

by Michele Sprague My Mid-Life Dabble in Online Romance

by David Mathews Single Seniors Socializing

by Barbara Risto Sex After Sixty

by Sarah Kay Elliot Finding Love Online

by Robin Roberts Oasis in the Heart of Hong Kong

by Patti Shales Lefkos

COURAGEOUS & OUTRAGEOUS 27 FASHION 28 ENTERTAINMENT 29 THE FAMILY CAREGIVER 30 MARKETPLACE 31 FOREVER FIT 32 Cover

Thank you to those who reached out in response to my editorial last month and offered to help me clear my clutter. The effort continues and I’m slowly making headway.

MARLENE WORRALL

Actress and author Marlene Worrall believes it’s never too late to follow the dream burning inside you.

Photo by Trevan Wong/ www.buckashot.com

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

When I was in my late 20s, my mom left her job in Toronto and came to stay with me for a while. Essentially, she had hit the pause button on her life and was taking some time to reassess her path forward. After a few months of rest and reflection, she was ready to re-enter the workforce. But stepping back from the rat race wasn’t without its own grab bag of anxieties about where she might find meaningful and remunerative work.

Looking back on it now, I recognize the tremendous courage it must have taken for her to start over again when most people her age had settled on a final destination and were sailing towards retirement.

At what age is it too late to set a new course and start over?

Well, if you ask Marlene Worrall, the subject of this month’s cover feature, it’s not over ’til it’s over. Marlene’s irrepressible optimism left me feeling cautiously inspired.

Inspired, sure, because who doesn’t want to be that gutsy?

And cautious because of our natural fear of the unknown – and the known. For example, I know it’s uncomfortable to be without food and shelter or even a plan for retirement. But I don’t know what rocks and shoals lie ahead. None of us do, no matter how safe the course we’ve mapped may appear.

So, do we keep drifting in mediocrity? Or do we change tack and hope for a soft – and dry – landing? I guess that depends on how adventurous and optimistic we are. Whether it’s embarking on a new career path, venturing into a new relationship, pulling up stakes to move to a new city, chasing a lifelong dream or letting go of old patterns, change is risky.

But isn’t it riskier to merely exist when you could thrive?

Isn’t it better to love your live than merely survive it? My mom certainly thought so. I only hope that if the time comes for me to hit the pause button, I have her courage. |

Publisher Barbara Risto Managing Editor Bobbie Jo Reid editor@seniorlivingmag.com Office Manager Shayna Horne 250-479-4705 office@seniorlivingmag.com Advertising Lorraine Brett 604-351-8497 | Kathie Wagner 250-479-4705 x 103 Head Office 3, 3948 Quadra St., Victoria BC V8X 1J6 | 250.479.4705 Subscriptions (12 issues): $32 includes GST, S&H. Canadian residents only.

No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher.

INSPIRED Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Advertisers and advertising agencies assume liability for compliance with all copyright laws related to materials they submit for publication. INSPIRED Senior Living is distributed free throughout British Columbia by Stratis Publishing Ltd. 12 issues per year. ISSN 17103584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

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Actress and author Marlene Worrall staying fit in California.

Photo: Dan Eslinger

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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MARLENE WORRALL

THE BEST IS YET TO COME

by KIANA KARIMKHANI On a recent afternoon, while most British Columbians contend with rain or snow (or a combination of the two), Marlene Worrall delights in the dry heat of Palm Springs, California. For over a decade, this resort city is where Marlene has nested each winter: horseback riding in the desert valley, playing a round of tennis with friends, the massive slopes of the San Jacinto Mountains visible from the north. It’s a view that conjures wistful memories for Marlene, who was an actress in Los Angeles in the 1960s and would come on the weekends to escape the big city smog.

“When my mother was older, I asked if she had any regrets, and she thought for a while and said, ‘I guess the only regret I have is that I didn’t spend more time in Palm Springs.’” Marlene’s buoyant laugh marks the revelation; it’s clear that she made sure not to share in her mother’s contrition. When the weather is more compliant, she lives the rest of the year in Vancouver, closer to where she grew up in Surrey. An expansive lifestyle is one that Marlene’s accustomed to. Along with Vancouver and Los Angeles, she’s lived in New York and London. It’s a life that she knew early on was suited for her.

At five-years-old, a Photoplay magazine slung under her arm, she’d point out the grainy photos of the movie stars inside the pages and say to her parents, “I’m going to be an actress in Hollywood!” Their response was less assured, a nodding of heads, sure-you-will-sweetheart, thinking she’d give up on the dream before it had a chance to fester. However, her natural showmanship and talent for writing would only grow. In Grade 5, Marlene wrote a variety show that her teacher allowed her to perform during lunchtimes. She wrote a part for Maxine, who could tap

dance, and included a role for a girl who could play instruments, but Marlene was the obvious star.

When her father set out to build a shed for the goats their family owned (they had two, a far cry from the Hollywood way of life), the unfinished project left a kind of stage on their property where Marlene would perform. With paper costumes and her latest sketch ready to go, she’d charge six cents to her neighbours to watch the show. You could say it was a fruitful start for Marlene’s young professional career that continued with starring roles in high school plays and then on to studying theatre at the University of British Columbia. While a student, she won the role of La Madrecita de los Perdidos in Tennessee Williams’, Camino Real, the only character who sings a cappella. Marlene’s voice struck her professor, Robert Gill, who suggested she become an opera singer. Although she didn’t become a singer, she has been praised for her three-octave range (and her ability to hold a note as long as anyone). Marlene was already booking shows as an undergraduate student, so she left before completing the program to find work elsewhere.

Marlene can still remember the first words to a story she wrote when she was in Grade 4: “She boarded a plane to Los Angeles.”

That’s exactly what she did, proving to her parents her often stated belief was true: when you want something badly enough, you can make it happen.

During our conversation, Marlene slips into a Texan drawl and proper British accent with no effort. She has an ear for words and is as inquisitive about others’ lives as they are about hers. For almost every question asked, she wants a response in return. It’s evidence you can take the girl out of Canada, but you can’t take away that inherent politeness and warmth. When asked of her early days in Hollywood, she’s amused. “I haven’t thought about that in years,” she says, yet recounts them like she were just at 20th Century Fox doing a screen test.

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Snapshot with Marlene Worrall If you were to meet your 20-year-old self, what advice would you give to her?

I would say value your youth, beauty, and intelligence and don’t sell yourself short like I did due to self-esteem issues. Instead, believe you are the best, the brightest, and the most talented person out there.

Who or what has influenced you the most? And why?

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, famous for his book, *The Power of Positive Thinking*. He said things like, “Throw your heart out over the fence and your body will follow,” and, “What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

What does courage mean to you?

Never settling for less than your dream. I wasted a lot of time selling real estate (although it was lucrative), but I also burned up some of the best years of my life when I could have and should have continued pursuing theatre and film work as an actress, as well as writing.

What does success mean to you?

I think it’s when your personal life is happy and you have a relationship with God.

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Interest in Marlene came almost immediately upon landing in Los Angeles. Although

by Marlene’s own admission, there were struggles to success. There was the time she was at the Beverly Hills Hotel in a black, spaghetti-strap dress when an otherwise ordinary looking man came up to ask her to dance. He wanted to know if she was an actress, and she replied, “Honey, isn’t everyone in this town?” The man happened to be from Universal Pictures, and he wanted her to test for the role of Jean Harlow. Despite her abilities as a performer, Marlene cites her own insecurities as a reason she ultimately didn’t go to the audition. She was in a relationship with a screenwriter, at the time, and he persuaded her against doing the audition. Her love for someone else, and perhaps a naiveté to her new setting, made her pass on the chance.

Another thwarted opportunity came when she was getting her hair done. A handsome actor approached and asked her to come with him to an acting class that was based on the techniques of Marlon Brando. She agreed, and this time did show up to the class, which resulted in an appointment to do the scene live for producers and directors at 20th Century Fox. A studio contract was in the offing, but that year, in 1963, the studio stopped doing them, and so she wasn’t given a deal.

A string of missed chances would be enough for anyone to reconsider their path, but Marlene has her faith to rely on, and a belief that the next great role is still ahead of her. She has had successes, playing Jim Garner’s girlfriend in Marlowe, Sharon Stone’s mother in Intersection, and Molly Ringwald’s mother in Malicious, but her persistence is the kind that knows there’s always more possibilities. Marlene cites Dustin Hoffman as inspiration, someone who was his own worst enemy, turning down roles he didn’t think would be any good that went on to be big successes.

“Despite those tough, earlier years, he still works and he’s amazing. I believe my best days are ahead of me. I really believe that.”

Her resolute faith is a large part of Marlene’s identity. As a Christian, her beliefs have guided her down unforeseen paths and helped to foster her confidence. She was a Medallion award-winning realtor in the WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Fraser Valley before leaving the industry in 2007 to write full-time. She has written both fiction and non-fiction, but regardless of genre, all of her work is imbued with aspects of her life. She says that for Angels in Shining Armour, the content was essentially spoken to her. The novel focuses on 19-year-old Ayita, a girl of Cherokee origin, who attempts to commit suicide before an angel intervenes and saves her. The book has received five-star reviews on Amazon, and Marlene is currently working on an audio book and screenplay to accompany it. The character’s journey parallels Marlene’s; finding light at the end of life’s winding tunnel, she comes to find her value.

Whether she enjoys acting or writing more, Marlene can’t choose. However, she says, as of late, writing has been joyful, “especially when it’s going well and people read it,” she laughs. She is currently at work on two novels, The Portrait and Kentucky Cowboy, though she still thinks she could be more disciplined. She’s hoping to find an acting agent in the Vancouver area. She jokes about never seeming to get enough rest, but her ambition doesn’t appear to be declining. If one path is blocked, Marlene simply moves on to the next one. Have an idea? Write it down. Explore it. If it doesn’t go anywhere, get a new one and go with that one. Her hope is to encourage others to stay curious and go down every avenue until they end up where they’re supposed to be.

Marlene speaks with optimism, and her belief that we can accomplish our goals if we work hard enough is contagious. It’s no small wonder she’s also a public speaker.

She recalls hearing Carol Kent, a wellknown author and motivational speaker, talk about her life at a conference, and the impression she made lingered. Marlene says, “She tells you how to be vulnerable, how to share the things you don’t want to share to encourage others. Everybody walks a different road, but we all have our tragedies and sorrows.”

Marlene remembers how Kent started her speech, by showing photos of her family and their life together, which Marlene admits she initially looked at with envy. “I thought, oh, here we go: you’re gorgeous, your husband and son are good-looking, your home is beautiful, where is this going?” Where it was going was Kent went on to share that her only son had been sentenced to life in

prison for murder. The effect of her presentation pointed to how our perception of someone’s life is often so different to the reality. “Kent tells you to share your sorrows, because people will relate more to that than your successes.”

As Marlene looks back on her younger years, it may seem that her journey was upended by missed connections, but it’s clear she’s been gifted with talent and resolve. She remarks that the woman she’s staying with in Palm Springs, who’s 93, is currently out to brunch with her boyfriend. “Never mind what people say about your age,” she says. “Don’t even look at the number. Just decide. Do what-

ever it is that’s burning inside of you.

It’s never too late.” It may sound like oversimplified advice, but it’s how Marlene now lives. With age, she feels more confident. She says she’s learned that “you can call things that are not as though they are.” Like the true performer she is, her advice recalls the common catchphrase “fake it ‘till you make it.” That is, if you’re in a situation that you don’t feel confident in, pretend you are until you garner the experience or tools necessary.

“As a child, you grow up and have an image of yourself based on what was painted by your parents, and it’s usually incorrect because they’re not always qualified to paint it. I thought I was an oddball because I was creative. I had to reprogram my thinking.” Deciding who you are, what you can do, and where you will go is an important part of our lives.

Whether it’s changing how she talks to herself or planning out her next novel, Marlene understands the power of words. |

RIGHT | Marlene relaxes poolside in Palm Springs, where she spends part of the year when she’s not in Vancouver. Photo: Dan Eslinger

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GRANDTRAVELLING: THE THRILL OF MACHU PICCHU

by KATE ROBERTSON “Machu Picchu has been a No. 1 bucket-list item for me ever since I studied the Incas in elementary school,” says Diane White of Nelson, BC. “My granddaughter was aware of this and wanted to do the trip with me. I had done Road Scholar trips before and my experience was so wonderful that I felt I could trust them with my precious cargo! I was aware that Road Scholar was offering intergenerational trips, and I found one for the Incas and the Amazon.”

Intergenerational travelling or grandtravelling, as it’s sometimes called, is becoming increasingly popular. According to Despina Gakopoulos, public relations representative for Road Scholar, “Travelling and spending more time with grandchildren are most often at the top of the list of things people want to do when they have more free time. Road Scholar’s intergenerational programs are an opportunity to do both, and there is peace of mind in travelling with a group that has decades of experience planning these types of learning adventures.”

During the summer, Diane and her 19-year-old granddaughter, Sierra MacNaughton, headed off to Peru on their adventure to visit Machu Picchu, the only intact Incan city in the world, located high in the Andes Mountains, and the Peruvian Amazon, the second largest portion of the Amazonian rainforest, after Brazil.

Typically, days were full for Diane and Sierra, with an adventure in the morning, and another one after lunch. In the evening after dinner, there was usually a speaker, lecture or performance. A typical day was up for breakfast at 7:30, then a shuttle by boat or bus would take them to the starting point, where they would walk to their destinations for the morning.

“Activities were varied,” says Diane, “with activities like bird watching, visiting an Incan site or museum and, in the jungle, we went on many hikes and even climbed a 200-step, 120-foot scaffolding canopy tower. From the top of the platform, there were spectacular views of the jungle and the Tambopata River. The program also offered activities for the kids only, like a night jungle walk that focused on spiders and creepy things. They loved it!”

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For Diane, a highlight of the trip was white-water rafting on the Urubamba River. “There were five of us in the boat,” she says, “two grandmothers, two granddaughters, and the guide.

We had to paddle like crazy to fight the waves and current. I had white-water rafted before, but this was more exciting. At one point, our raft actually folded in half, but we all stayed inside!”

Another memorable activity for Diane was sand duning. “It was a first for both Sierra and me,” she says. “We wore goggles and were in open dune buggies. The grandkids and grandparents were in separate buggies, so the kids could enjoy more of an adventure. After a slow start, the grandparents in my buggy got used to the fact that we were not going to die and encouraged our driver to go faster!”

Sierra’s favourite part of the trip was exploring Machu Picchu. “I enjoyed climbing up to the Guard House and seeing an overview of it in its entirety,” she says. The Guard House marks the original entrance to Machu Picchu and is perched at the top of several rock-walled terraces, where you have a panoramic view of the entire urban and agricultural areas and the over 3,000 stone steps linking the different levels.

Travel companies are responding to the increased interest in grandtravelling. “We increase capacity in our intergenerational programs by 10 per cent each year,” says Gakopoulos, “as well as adding new programs. Typically, a large number of our participants are between ages 68-74, although, of course, we also serve people who are older or younger. With the oldest Boomers having turned 70 last year, they are moving into this age

ABOVE | Diane White and her granddaughter, Sierra MacNaughton, enjoy exploring the world together. This photo was taken in a Hobbit house in New Zealand.

RIGHT | On their adventure to Machu Picchu, the dune buggy outing remains a lasting memory for Diane (front left). Photos: Sierra MacNaughton

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range in big numbers and we expect growth in proportion to the Boomers. Generally, 60 per cent of participants in Road Scholar programs are women.”

In Diane’s group of 20, there were two couples and the rest were grandmothers with their grandkids who ranged from 15-19.

“I think the bonds between the kids and their grandparents grew strong on this tour,” she says, “as we all had that family connection in common. The kids got along well and, although my granddaughter and I were the only Canadians on this trip, it did not make a difference.”

“I think anyone would enjoy a Road Scholar trip,” Diane continues, “as they are safety conscious, focused on learning, and range in activity level from not active to very active. The accommodations, while not 5-star, are always nice, clean and comfortable. The food is plentiful and the guides are wonderful. Our guide had a degree in history with a particular interest in Machu Picchu, so he was very excited to relay all sorts of history. In fact, his theory on the Incas was embraced by Cornell University and, right after our trip, he was invited there as a guest speaker.”

But maybe most importantly, an intergenerational trip allows for a different relationship dynamic between grandparent and grandchild, without the parents along for the experience. “It changed our relationship,” says Diane thoughtfully, “as I began to see Sierra as more mature during our trip. This was based on how she conducted herself on the trip and how she was with the other people in the group – both younger and older.”

What an exceptional, adventuresome way to have fun with grandkids and strengthen those bonds. |

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Diane and Sierra’s 5 tips on making the most of your intergenerational travel experience: • Make sure both grandparent and grandchild get to pick an activity • Keep an open mind about activities, you may have fun • Don’t worry about the small stuff, laugh it off • Plan ahead while allowing for spontaneity • Experience the local culture & history as much as possible

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Later-life marriage is about finding space for one another – physically and emotionally.

particular spice, we hold our breath and pray. Seriously, we systemically remove bottles of spices from the cupboard until we find the wanted spice. Or, we may decide we don’t really need that spice.

HE MOVED IN

by MICHELE SPRAGUE We knew there would be adjustments. After all, we’re over 60 years old and this is our second marriage. But we didn’t realize what it would be like to combine two households into one, small condo… and two lives.

His stuff One month before our wedding, he started moving in.

There were duplicates of almost everything – the bed, the couch, TVs. The list seemed endless and included things we took for granted – dishes, throw blankets, art – things that made our homes a home before we became a cluttered us.

My man is a creative cook. Needless to say, when he moved in, so did his vast collection of spices. Stacked and crammed every which way, his bottles of spice barely fit on two shelves. When it comes to finding a 12 10

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The moving process The moving preparation proved tedious, time consuming and involved some I-want-to-keep-those moments. We donated clothing, furniture and miscellaneous items to the Salvation Army. That included over 50 pairs of my shoes. Yes, shoes were my thing. And I definitely experienced some I-want-to-keep-those moments. And sometimes it was difficult to decide which item we would keep – his or mine.

In an effort to make room for my future hubby’s stuff, my broken treadmill was dismantled and hauled to its grave. I thought that would create room for a work space. But with the growing combination of our stuff, the basement now houses three overloaded garment racks; garden and craft supplies; my office… oodles of tools; and his tiny saw table. Guess what? That tiny saw table is his work area.

Well, the second bedroom offered me another chance to make room for my husband-to-be and his stuff. He’s an artist, so I planned to transform the room into a studio. The only items allowed in this room are his art things.

It was fun planning the surprise. His son took him camping for the weekend while the vendors and I got to work – new hardwood floors, window shades, installation of special lighting and fresh paint. Now the beautiful, remodeled studio is full – and I mean full – with art stuff, paintings, books, and things that don’t fit anywhere else. This includes his burgundy leather chair!

More adjustments?

Combining possessions is one adjustment. There is another: learning how to live together peaceably. This includes compromising and keeping quiet about unimportant annoyances – like when

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he suggested replacing my five-foot zinnias with sunflower plants and adding shrubs in my flower bed.

More than one way to do things And he does things differently than me. That applies to cooking and spice usage, and his overall sense of décor. He prefers a lot of pictures on each wall; I prefer a lot of white space. He added driftwood and rocks on our mantel, which is now overburdened with driftwood, rocks, flowers, candles, a sculpture and framed pictures. And he likes – actually loves – his wall-to-wall entertainment centre.

Fun discoveries Needless to say, living together brings a lot of discoveries.

I learned he starts his day listening to soft jazz, enjoys reading historical books and loves to cook. The meals he prepares are tasty, artistic creations made with an interesting connotation of spices and garnishes. Yesterday, he served parmesan crusted chicken, garnished with greenery from our garden. And he helps around the condo without me asking.

But some of his habits annoy me. Almost daily, he leaves a kitchen chair out. Occasionally, he leaves a cupboard door open, and sometimes I find his beard hairs on the counter. Now, for the most serious offense – his idea of being on time is arriving when the event starts; I like to be at least 10 minutes early.

Most of these annoyances are unimportant because they are

part of the package – the man, who I love to pieces. But the last one gives me opportunities to strengthen my patience.

There are plenty of reasons why I love him and our crowded life together. He’s the perfect companion – affectionate, playful, and loves to communicate and listen. His kisses make my knees weak; and we laugh a lot, which is worth more a few stray beard hairs.

Moving in Moving in together brings in an array of adjustments. It’s about joining two lives onto the same team. It’s about making room for each other – physically and emotionally. It’s about picking battles and keeping quiet about little annoyances, accepting differences, and enjoying each other. And it’s about communicating our wants and needs. Eventually – I sincerely hope – it may include moving to a place with a lot of closets and cupboards.

When you think about it, you get to share your life with a wonderful person. And while you’re making adjustments for a good, happy relationship, you’re becoming a happier and better person. | Michele Sprague is the author of the book, Single Again 101.

She has had hundreds of articles published in magazines and online, including The Huffington Post and WomensRunning. com. Michele and her husband married in October 2015.

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MARCH 2017

13 11

RIGHT | David Mathews, author of Lemons and Lemonade. Photo: Cris Lago

MY MID-LIFE DABBLE IN ONLINE ROMANCE

by DAVID MATHEWS The Spark.

Date: Sat, 5 Aug 2006 05:14 Dear David, There’s someone we’d like you to meet…

Synchronicity’s Compatibility Matching System has found for you a highly compatible match, based on our rigorous, multidimensional scale. With this level of compatibility, we believe you will have a lot to talk about, and may even find true love together.

The next step is for you to begin communicating.

Explore your shared areas of compatibility, and have fun discovering if there’s chemistry. Remember, your match has been carefully selected from millions of candidates because you share extraordinary levels of compatibility in the areas proven to create relationship success. So we encourage you to consider this match with care and find out what lies beyond your summary profiles. It’s simple – just begin communicating today!

Sincerely, Dr. E. Stanley Wickering Founder, Synchronicity.com For the umpteenth time in umpteen months, I received that same provocative invitation to click my way to true love. Previous encounters ended poorly.

In short spurts, some were rewarding, but in the long run… no. The analytics the system purported to use made logical sense, but my experience showed that these logic-driven matches lacked some mysterious key ingredient. I was already in the process of resuscitating a romance I singlehandedly trashed a couple of years before. Did I really want to take a look at this new match who blinked her way onto my computer screen?

“Damn it.” I couldn’t resist.

I gave her profile a quick look. Her name was Clare. She’d provided a photo, a rather evocative im14 12

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

age of her standing amidst a cluster of trees during a light snow fall. She looked directly into the camera, smiling the slightest of smiles. She conveyed a feeling of strength and independence, with a touch of vulnerability. Her brief bio revealed a Master’s Degree, no children at home, a love of good literature, a penchant for art, and a comfort with her lot in life. We shared a fondness for stray dogs, good movies, and thin crust sausage pizza. This lady looking back at me intrigued me.

“Hmm…” And so, by responding, I began my latest venture into online matching. I could not resist Dr. E. Stanley Wickering’s siren song.

Date: Sat, 5 Aug 2006 17:52 Dear Clare, Congratulations! David has reviewed your basic information and would like to start the process of getting to know you better. You can find out more about David and answer some simple questions by clicking on the Match Details page.

We encourage you to communicate with David using our easy, safe and anonymous SynchroSafe Communication process. Let Synchronicity guide you as you get to know your match scientifically and safely.

Sincerely, The Synchronicity Team Click Your Way to True Love.

As luck would have it, Clare did not stumble over the funkiness of my profile bio, the stuff about being passionate about life, and my calm demeanor. I have yet to ask what it was about our initial contact that urged her on. Anyway, we spent most of the next day clicking, typing, and flirting our way through the Synchronicity mating ritual.

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 06:50 David: “What best describes your attitude towards work?”

Clare: “I like my job, but my focus is elsewhere.”

David: “Are you adventurous?”

Clare: “I sometimes like to do things that are a little frightening.”

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David: “Do you enjoy debating the issues of the day with your partner?”

Clare: “As long as we don’t get too intense, I enjoy a good discussion about general issues.”

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 09:32 Clare: “How important is chemistry to you?”

David: “Within the first couple of dates, I need to sense a certain chemistry.”

Clare: “How romantic are you?”

David: “Romance is the seasoning that flavours a relationship. I consider it very important.”

Clare: “How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?”

David: “I know when to speak and when it’s best to remain silent.”

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We then got into the deal makers and deal breakers…

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 10:48 Clare’s Makes – Chemistry, Emotional Health, Resolves Conflict, Affectionate, Energetic, Self-confident, Responsible, Sexually Knowledgeable, Kind and Autonomous.

Clare’s Breaks – Lying, Anger, Rudeness, Laziness, Mean Spirited, Judgmental, Undependable, Infidelity, Depression and Racism.

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 13:16 David’s Makes – Sense of Humour, Emotional Health, Artistry, Exciting, Good Personal Habits, Affectionate, Curiosity, Stylish, Spiritual Acceptance and Passionate.

David’s Breaks – Lazy, Obesity, Poor Hygiene, Undependable, Uninterested, Depressed, Self-Centered, Childish, Sloppy and Pessimistic.

Once again, nothing untoward, ungainly, or unacceptable with either hers or mine. We remained safely within the bounds of respectability. Who can argue those characteristics anyway?

In no previous profile reviews had I encountered anyone who said, “Yeah, well, I yearn to be with a really gross, stinky, lazy slob who is childish and self-centered.” We continued with vigour and enthusiasm, escalating to the next level of personality dissection.

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 17:39 Dig Deeper Questions: David: “What do you find physically attractive?”

Clare: “I like a man to exude confidence and intelligence, which manifests in a physical way. I like the whole package, which includes affection and personality. These are far more important to me than appearance.”

Sun, 6 Aug 2006 20:10 Dig Deeper Questions: Clare: “What is your take on intimacy? All kinds…”

David: “A direct question…I like that. On a spiritual level, I expect to share basic core beliefs and values. There is nothing

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more intimate than exchanging one’s thoughts about God and the afterlife.

On an emotional level, partners must know what buttons to push (and not push.) Emotions are like the tides… they ebb and flow. Partners should know how to deal with their own emotions, and those of the other. Finally, on a physical level, I believe it is important to be open, to share, to experiment. As long as it is not hurtful to one’s partner, why not enjoy what we’ve been given? I’ve always been open-minded.”

Survival of these pre-fabricated questions effectively ended the formal interrogation process; consequently, the doctor issued a final word of caution and a wish of good luck, then unlocked the door to unbridled email interaction via SynchroMail. With enthusiasm matching our raging hormones, we passed through this portal into open communication that very night. There was something about this new girl. I know… you’ve heard that before. But the reality of it was, there was something. I was drawn by her written words to a uniqueness I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I wanted to know more about this Clare. I wanted more. | David Mathews lives in Wisconsin with his wife, Clare, whom he married 39 days after this first email exchange, and their neurotic Wheaten Terrier, Dave. Having forsaken past skulduggery, David enjoys his nine grandchildren, and tinkering with old cars and trucks. Lemons and Lemonade is his first book.

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

North Delta

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Single Seniors Socializing Are you a senior looking for companionship? Not necessarily a soulmate, just someone to visit and do things with?

Len Johnson, an active 72 year old, would like to take a bite out of the isolation that some seniors may feel by facilitating a weekly gathering where anyone can join to get to know other people of similar age and interests.

“I’d like to give something back to the community. I’ve been blessed with relationships and know the difficulty some have connecting. I’d like to help organize a group that welcomes anyone looking for social interaction.”

The weekly meetups will be the jumping off point for those gathered to discuss things they like to do and find others willing to join them in their activity - be it a simple coffee, a quiet stroll by the ocean or as far ranging as a cruise through the Mediterranean.

Whatever your taste, you’re likely to find others eager to be a part of your life and your adventure. And maybe that soulmate will show up along the way, if that is what you’re looking for.

This first meetup will be in Victoria on April 26, 2017. There is no charge to be part of this meetup. Refreshments will be nearby for purchase, if you choose.

For time and location, please RSVP to singleseniors17@gmail.com Or drop by the “Single Seniors” table at the 55+ Lifestyle Show (see pg 18) at Pearkes Rec Centre, 3100 Tillicum Rd. on March 21st (9am3pm) to meet Len and sign up.

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MARCH 2017

15 17

Eldercare Foundation presents

March 2017

March is Embrace Aging Month!

For details, visit gvef.org or call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664.

Thanks to our Media Sponsors:

The Eldercare Foundation invites you to explore the possibilities, make connections and discover the wealth of resources available year-round to help you embrace the journey of aging. There are free workshops, activities and events island-wide and all ages are welcome.

www.gvef.org 18 16

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Eldercare Foundation • Embrace Aging 2017 - Left Page Senior Living Magazine

Embrace Aging...Explore the Possibilities Get connected to inspiring people, ideas, activities and valuable resources during the month of March. There is so much to see and do!

For more information, go to www.gvef.org and follow the Embrace Aging links or call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664.

In March 2017 the Eldercare Foundation and our Vancouver Island community partners will celebrate the 12th annual Embrace Aging Month; a time dedicated to connecting seniors and their families with resources, activities and educational opportunities available to help navigate and embrace the journey of aging. Discover the wealth of resources that are available year-round in your community. Our Embrace Aging Month calendar is packed with free and almost free events, workshops and activities island-wide!

In Victoria: Get connected while you enjoy a day of fun and discovery at the 55+ Lifestyle Show on March 21 at Pearkes Recreation Centre.

Health Services • Physical Health • Mental Health

Join artists from Aberdeen Hospital for Embrace Aging Through the Arts & Community Art Exhibition in the CACGV Main Gallery at Cedar Hill Recreation Centre, Opening: March 23rd, 1:30pm till 4:00pm.

Exhibit ends April 18th.

See stories come to life through visual and performing arts March 6th - 17th during the Remembering Our Canada Arts Festival at Oak Bay High’s Dave Dunnet Community Theatre.

This intergenerational collaboration by seniors and youth features an opening concert with Daniel Lapp, closing concert with classic rock band “Arf the Dog”, storytelling, theatre performances, visual arts, and more.

Housing Personal Security Financial Security

At the Yakimovich Wellness Centre over 30 free workshops are being offered covering a wide range of topics.

On Vancouver Island: Free events, webinars and tele-workshops offered throughout Vancouver Island can be found by visiting our website.

Plan your exploration of the possibilities this March by visiting gvef.org and click on Embrace Aging or call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664.

Social Networks Social Environments

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Eldercare Foundation • Embrace Aging 2017 - Right Page Senior Living Magazine

Education & Literacy Culture • Arts & Spirituality

MARCH 2017

17 19

55+ Lifestyle Show PRESENTED BY

INSPIRED senior living

Inspiration for people over 55 March 21, 2017 9am - 3pm Pearkes Recreation Centre 3100 Tillicum Rd., Victoria BC

Come make a little Magic!

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Retired News Anchor PAMELA MARTIN reveals what she’s been doing since being in front of the camera, including plans for a trip to Iceland that you can join her on. 10AM

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Retired News Anchor PAMELA MARTIN reveals what she’s been doing since being in front of the camera, including plans for a trip to Iceland that you can join her on.

10:30AM | FASHION SHOW Aurea Fashion Boutique & Essential Luxuries Discover ageless fashion to suit every body type and pastime. Featured designers create clothing items that perfectly enhance your best features. Paired with stunning accessories, this years fashion runway is not to be missed!

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11:30AM & 12:30PM | 50’s & 60’s ROCK N’ ROLL Flashback Freddy This blast from the past includes hits from Elvis, The Beatles, Chuck Berry, The Beach Boys, Roy Orbison, Ricky Nelson, Johnny Cash and many more. Get out your dancing shoes for this one!

12 NOON | SARA WEGWITZ Performance and Mental Fitness Coach Build confidence, resilience and transform your physical capabilities by shifting the way you think! Hear how a group of boat paddlers, all over 50, won gold for Canada using Sara’s mental techniques.

Don’t miss Sara’s key presentation: THREE CORE Building Blocks The road to achieving your own extraordinary results.

1:30PM | HULA DANCING Hula Dance for Health Dance your way to health the Hawaiian way. Troupe members will demonstrate how the dance’s gentle, graceful movements can improve coordination, flexibility and overall health. Win free introductory class sessions.

2PM | CHEESE MAKING DEMO & TASTING Paula Maddison, Artisan Cheesemaker Join Paula as she conjures cheese right before your unbelieving eyes! Hailing from a hobby farm called Madd Acres on Gabriola Island, Paula loves teaching her audience about the history, science and alchemy of this ancient art of fermentation.

2:30 PM | MAKE-OVER REVEAL Akai Hair Design Three lucky INSPIRED Senior Living readers have been selected to undergo a styling update of their hair, make-up and wardrobe.

Hana Akai will work her magic once again to turn drab to fab as she transforms these ladies into magazine-spread worthy models.

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MARCH 2017

21

SEX AFTER SIXTY

by SARAH KAY ELLIOTT Growing up in the 1950s and even into the 1960s, most of us had no clue or interest as to whether or not our parents and grandparents had sex after a certain age. For the most part, we thought sex was only for the young and that may still hold true in the thoughts of many under 30. Even with all the exposure to menopause, mental illness, alcoholism, motherhood minus marriage, and other heretofore-taboo subjects, I hear few people today talking about senior sex, whether they are young or old. Let’s start the conversation.

When I was much younger, I could not even imagine my grandmothers having sex with their spouses.

Now that I am a grandmother, I can’t imagine how I believed this idea of “old” people not having any sex.

So I am sharing my personal story to help dispel any myths or taboos on this subject of “senior sex.”

More than 10 years ago, I met my now second husband, Andrew, who was a widower. (I was in my mid-sixties and Andy was in his late sixties.) I had 22 20

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

been divorced for more than 12 years and was enjoying a second adolescence: dining, dancing and dating many men, and happily finding sex among seniors was not at all uncommon.

Being single meant many nights alone, but I wasn’t ready to commit to marriage until I found someone I could connect with on a mental, spiritual and physical basis. Better to be alone than to be with someone with whom you had a negative relationship. One divorce for me was plenty!

After two dates, Andy and I knew we wanted to date only each other. Because we lived three hours apart, we saw each other only weekends until I moved in with him several months after we met and clicked on all three levels. During those early months, as we became more seriously involved, we met each other’s families, learned that we both loved dancing and movies, and also making love. (While sex is part of lovemaking, you can have sex without love and love without sex.) We were so eager to be physically close that we made love three times a day on the weekends. First, we made love when went to bed. Then, sometime during the night, one of us initiated intimacy, but I can’t remember whether it was

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more often Andrew or me. Because I tend to lack shyness with a man when I feel loved and wanted, I had no problem being the initiator. Again, in the morning, we made love. And not slam, bam, thank you ma’am love, but making love languorously, since we were not working on the weekends.

Once I moved in with Andy, the lovemaking decreased by necessity.

Andy was still working four days per week and I found part-time work once I settled into my new home. However, Andy and I are both very affectionate by nature (another positive point in our relationship), so even if we did not “have sex” three times a day (more like two times a week), we were both big on hugs, caresses and especially holding hands. His hands are always warm and gentle, which is almost as important to me as kissing. And his kissing isn’t bad, either! But his lovemaking is the best of any man I had slept with, and I had slept with enough partners to know. We both loved the physical part of being loved!

At some point in our marriage, maybe nine years in, Andy began experiencing ED (erectile dysfunction). The doctor prescribed the popular drug for this issue and that worked for a couple of years, but as Andrew approached 80, nothing seemed to work. Since both of us are open-minded about sex, mine coming from my mother’s refusal to sweep sex information under the rug, and Andrew’s from his own beliefs, we decided to buy some sex toys. Surfing the internet, Andrew kept purchasing dildos of different sizes that we tried, with lots of laughs, and I felt like Goldilocks: “No, this is too big. No, this is too small. Ah, this is just right!”

At the same time that we were experimenting with different ways to keep our sex life alive and well, I realized there were so many more ways to make love than intercourse and oral sex. As a couple that knows each other intimately through sex, we have also learned to express ourselves more through touch, conversations, looks and the way we talk to each other. This in no way replaces physical sex, but as our marriage deepened, we learned other ways to show our love. And while making love

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is now different from our earlier years, because our marriage has mellowed and our bodies have changed, the intensity of our feelings have not. While physical sex is now more of a challenge, we both like challenges. We are learning to navigate the waters of senior sex with a new set of oars, but still with our hearts and bodies joined in mutual love and admiration.

So, the next time you look at an older couple walking in the park holding hands, add that to your repertoire WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

of the definition of sex. Or when you see them gazing lovingly at each other in a restaurant, sharing their food and their love, consider that lovemaking, as well. Whether it is physical, mental or spiritual, if two people are connecting with hearts and minds, their bodies will do what is natural for them, at that time.

I don’t think this diminishes the act of sex, but rather adds to the totality of their love for each other. It may be “love among the ruins,” but the ruins can be quite beautiful in their antiquity. | MARCH 2017

21 23

FINDING LOVE ONLINE

by ROBIN ROBERTS My grandson did it – found himself a girlfriend “online.”

She lives in Malaysia, so he did what any young man in love would do, he moved there. That was two years ago; they’re still happy and in love.

Anything a 20-year-old male can do, I, a 60-something woman can do better. Right? I hummed that tune from the musical, Annie Get Your Gun as I logged onto a popular (free) dating site, created a user name, found a photo of me looking my age but not decrepit, and agonized over writing about myself. Interests? Taste in music? Favourite entertainment? Ideal first date? Age? Intent (was I looking for casual dating, a serious relationship, marriage or friendship)?

It took a bit of soul searching, but I came up with what I thought was a witty and enticing description of who I was.

The first response came almost immediately. “Hey there, you into younger men?” He was only five years older than one of my daughters. There were more approaches from younger men, then a week of silence.

I took the next step and began browsing “candidates.”

“Retired engineer, likes good food and reading.” Sounded okay, so I sent a “hi there, want to meet for coffee?” message. No reply.

After a half dozen of my approaches went unanswered, I took a hard look at what I had written in about myself.

Likes: CBC, old radio shows, especially Dragnet, history, graveyards...” Perhaps I was not reaching a large audience.

(I can explain the graveyards, there’s lots of history on headstones and I like history, but Dragnet?)

So, I updated my profile. “Willing to learn how to dance.

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Likes movies, walks, beaches. Loves ethnic foods...” What else could I say about myself? I recently left a decades-long relationship and am very naïve about many things.

Responses began to come in. Although the younger men had stopped asking me if I was interested (in retrospect, I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not) there were a few grandfathers out there who also liked CBC. After checking with Google for tips for “safe online dating for women,” I headed out to my first date.

I had selected a recent photo of me to post on the site, and I was honest about my age when I filled out my profile. But I swear the gentleman waiting to meet me was 10 years older than his photo. I sipped my Earl Gray and listened to him talk about his landlord, his buddies, his car and his ex-wife. He didn’t ask me a thing about myself, but did ask for a second date. “You could come to my place and we could...” The actual invitation was for cooking dinner together, but the unstated invitation was for something else. I refused and he looked disappointed, which was, I suppose, a compliment.

My rules for how much intimacy on the first, second and third dates were established in the 1960s, but surely they haven’t changed that much. Or have they? Am I living in a Doris Day world? “Cooking” in that gentleman’s use of the word, occurred in the bedroom, not in the kitchen and was not a second date activity according to my personal guidelines.

Seniors are increasingly drawn to online dating. There are sites especially for us, and among North American adults ages 55 to 64, online dating use has doubled since 2013 according to a Pew Research Center Survey.

“Companionship is key to a healthy happy life at any age,”

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says Jennifer Cairns, technology expert and CEO of eGurus, a technology tutoring company that focuses on the 55+ market. “Of the 49 million people who have tried online dating, 12 per cent are seniors and that number continues to grow. It’s no wonder that popular online dating sites such as eHarmony and Match.com are now specializing to the 55+ market.”

A younger friend, who has been online dating for more than 10 years, told me to assume that anyone I met on a dating site was flirting with, if not actually dating, at least five other people.

“Try not to fall in love too quickly,” she warned. “You don’t want your heart broken.” She didn’t add “especially not at your age” but I know that’s what she was thinking.

Four months after I joined an online dating site, I had sent out approximately 30 “want to meet?” messages (many of which went unanswered), been contacted by as many men and had been on eight first dates. There were only a few people I cared to see again (or, let’s be honest, who wanted to see me again.) One was special. He’s kind, considerate, doesn’t want to marry me, move in with me or even see me every day. He is a good match for me because, as it says on my profile, “Robin is looking for casual dating, not a serious relationship.”

That’s an important aspect of online dating: make sure you know exactly what you’re looking for before venturing out there. But do give it a try. Let’s face it, where else do we meet new people in today’s online world? |

STEPS TO STAYING SAFE 1. Chose a user name and stick to it, both on the site and, at least, for the first few dates.

2. Don’t share personal details on the dating site. Your phone number, where you shop, get your hair done or go for yoga – keep these details private until you’ve met a person several times and trust them.

3. Be selective with the photo you post. Don’t use one that’s on any of your social media sites. (Try dragging a Facebook photo of you into Google Images and see how much information about you comes up.)

4. Develop a thick skin. It’s not unusual to reach out and be ignored. Or you may want to see someone again after meeting them, but not get a response to your invitation or worse, be turned down.

Don’t sweat it, you haven’t invested much, let it go. Conversely, you don’t have to respond to every “hi there” that comes your way.

5. Get yourself to and from the first few dates – drive, walk, bus, cab. Meet only in public places, stay in public places and don’t accept offers to pick you up or take you home.

6. Be honest with your photo and profile (don’t use a 20-year-old photo or claim you’re into meditation and mountain biking when you are a Downton Abbey couch potato.)

7. Listen to your gut. If something feels wrong, get out. You don’t owe this stranger anything. If you’re pressured for your address, real name, money or sex, run.

8. Don’t think you have to meet someone a second time if you didn’t feel a connection on the first date. You don’t!

You can block that person from contacting you on the site if they make you feel uncomfortable with repeated requests.

9. If the relationship progresses as far as a sleep-over, let a friend know where you will be, the name and phone number of the person you’ll be with and when you’ll be home. Arrange a time for a “checking-in” phone call or text for the next day.

10. Before that sleep-over, brush up on safe sex habits. Seniors are as susceptible to STDs as teenagers. Times have changed; condoms now come in colours and flavours and they are no longer used only to prevent pregnancy. Go shopping and have fun! | WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

“I’m your SRES®” Rosemary Papp RE/MAX Treeland Realty 778-834-8021 www.seniorsrealestateinfo.com I HAVE INFORMATION ON...

Moving to a Seniors Community Are you thinking of selling your home to move to a Seniors community?

The Moving On Guide is designed to help you through the complex issues and unique situations you may encounter during the process. Full of housing related resources tailored to Seniors and their families, information includes: • Housing options • Home adaptations • Meeting healthcare needs • Financial considerations • Legal considerations • Selling your current home • Special Commission Rates Available for Seniors • Ask me about my Referral Incentive Call 778-834-8021 for your free copy!

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#101 - 6337 198 Street, Langley, BC V2Y 2E3 MARCH 2017

23 25

OASIS IN THE HEART OF HONG KONG

by PATTI SHALES LEFKOS

Even if you can’t stand the heat, there’s no need to get out of the city. A peaceful haven awaits in the midst of an often chaotic metropolis.

So, this is the eye of the storm. Revelling in the sliver of silence, my soul is cocooned by lacy waterfalls, erosion sculpted limestone, dwarfed pine and creamy floating lotus, all amid highly polished wooden-carved pavilions and zigzag sandstone cobbled walkways.

Listed by Lonely Planet as one of the top ten “must-sees” in Hong Kong, the Chi Lin Nunnery dates from the 1930s but was rebuilt in the style of the Tang Dynasty in 1998. The design, involving intricately interlocking sections of shiny lacquered wood joined without a single nail, is meant to reflect the harmony of humans with nature.

My husband and I had intended our stopover in Hong Kong as a brief interlude of jet lag recovery on the way to a trekking adventure in Nepal.

But the humidity of the surrounding city caused rivulets of sweat to dribble down our backs under our T-shirts, descend the legs of our quick dry pants and form soggy pools in our supposedly breathable hiking socks.

“That’s it for me,” my husband said, as he dropped his pack and flopped across the cool hotel bed sheets and the end of day one. “Forget the tourist stuff.”

Not ready to capitulate, I frantically flipped through the guidebook for a suitable solution.

ABOVE and RIGHT | Nestled in the heart of one of the world’s busiest cities is the immaculate, traditional Nan Lian Garden.

Photos: Barry Hodgins 26 24

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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INSPIRED Senior Living presents...

Photo: Mitchell Parsons

Join Jackson Davies*

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Highlights: Edinburgh, St. Andrews, Pitlochry, Inverness, Thorso, Orkney Islands, Lock Ness, Ballachulish, Isle of Skye

“Okay, I’ll give it one more try,” my husband said after breakfast the next morning. “But, yesterday was like an all-day steam shower. There’d better be some shady spots.”

We found them. After a short rapid-transit ride, we pass through the elaborate Mountain Gate, into a paradise of cool serenity.

“Listen to this. Harmony of humans and nature,” my husband reads aloud from the guidebook. “Pretty convincing, until you look up at the looming neighbourhood.”

Located in Diamond Hill, the heart of Kowloon, the nunnery and the Nan Lian Garden are dwarfed by high-rise apartment blocks and cement skyscrapers hovering against the granite sky. Hammer Hill Road on the east, Lung Cheung Road on the south, Hollywood Plaza shopping mall on the west and an MTR station near the main gate.

“So, let’s not look up,” I say.

The Chinese classical style garden, almost the size of San Francisco’s Alamo Square Park, shields the nunnery from the outside world. Constructed by the Chi Lin Nunnery in cooperation with the Hong Kong government, the garden and temples have provided a daily place of respite for the public, free of charge, since 2006. The four major elements of a traditional garden, hillocks and rocks, water features, timber structures and ornamental trees, are designed to create a peaceful escape from the city life outside its walls.

As birds exchange morning messages, their songs mingle with the gurgle and roar of falling water to overwhelm the nearby traffic noise. We inhale the rosemary-like scent of pine and sweet aroma of the banyan groves. A refreshing mist follows us on the one-way route past fountains and waterfalls, reflecting ponds of pink and vanilla lotus blossoms and the central water feature ablaze with milky white and tangerine giant koi. Broad straw hats protect the bowed

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SKAGIT TULIP FESTIVAL & BOEING FACTORY TOUR

April 11 - 12, 2017

Spring is in the air! The Tulips and Irises are in bloom. Join us for this spectacular destination event at the Skagit Tulip Festival. The tulip historically was a symbol of paradise on earth. Each year more than 1 million visitors go to experience over 300 acres of brightly coloured tulips. Explore behind the scene at the amazing Boeing Aircraft Factory in Everett. $435 Cdn pp dble occ. No GST.

PORTLAND ROSE FESTIVAL June 9 - 12, 2017: 4 Days

For over 100 years the Grand Floral Parade has been the highlight of the Portland Rose Festival. Experience this spectacular floral filled parade up close from your indoor stadium seats. Along with a visit to the End of the Oregon Trail Interpretive Center and some shopping opportunities, this is a great 4 day geta-way. $925 Cdn pp dble occ. No GST. Book before April 9th and save $50 per person.

DOOR-TO-DOOR PICK UP AND RETURN WITHIN THE LOWER MAINLAND CALL FOR THE UPCOMING 2017 BROCHURE TRAVEL PROTECTION BOB & TERESA MARSHALL

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MARCH 2017

25 27

heads of countless workers tending to the myriad green-shaded grasses of the meticulously manicured gardens.

“I’ve never seen so many bonsai trees in my life,” I say.

Now completely charmed by the elegant yet restful surroundings, we slip behind the Silver Strand waterfall and enter the Chin Lin Vegetarian Restaurant.

We chose our lunch, an exquisite sampler of beetroot salad, mushroom, tofu and tea, despite some obvious confusion over the menu written completely in Chinese characters. Noticing our dilemma, a middle-aged woman, on a Sunday outing with her elderly mother, at the next table comes to the rescue.

“Please try. You are welcome,” she is offering in halting Eng-

lish to share from the variety of dishes spread before them.

“We have too much,” says her smiling companion, passing a plate of delicacies in our direction.

Later, we enter the nunnery complex through Sam Mun, a series of three gates representing the Buddhist precepts of compassion, wisdom and skill. The Lotus Pond Garden gives way to the Hall of Celestial Kings. A statue of Sakyamuni Buddha, on whose teaching Buddhism was founded, presides over the serene dimly lit main hall.

By 4 p.m., relaxed and refreshed, we catch the airport shuttle for the evening flight to Kathmandu. A day in an oasis filled with moments of natural wonder and rejuvenating stillness has fortified us for the adventure ahead. | For IF YOU GO information, visit www. seniorlivingmag.com/articles/nan-liangardens

Polar Bears of Churchill 7 Days: Nov 10 - 16, 2017

Visit the Polar Bear Capital of the world and join a 2 day Tundra Buggy adventure. Enjoy highlights of Churchill’s northern culture, a dog sledding expedition, and a visit to Winnipeg’s Museum for Human Rights!

Must be booked by May 12th!

*Prices include home pickup/return, all airfare from Victoria, many meals, and mandatory fees & taxes

250.590.0811

www.MileZeroTours.com

BC Reg #67275

AGELESS ADVENTURE tours

When not trekking in the Himalaya Patti Shales Lefkos loves living in the woods of Silver Star Mountain near Vernon, BC, where she skis, snowshoes, hikes and combats writer’s block by gazing out her office window at the antics of the Stellar Jays and squirrels eating her prayer flags.

Escorted Tours 604.542.5566 or 1.877.277.5577

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40+ tours Annually, Upcoming Departures Include:

Okanagan Wine Getaway Summerland Waterfront Resort Naramata - Five different Wineries

Women’s Wellness Getaway Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort (#1 Spa in BC by Spas of America)

Whistler • Tyax • Quaaout Ldgs.

Encompasses BC’s Sea to Sky, Cariboo/ Chilcotin & High Country Regions

May 9 - 12

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Other upcoming tours include: Watermark Resort, Osoyoos

The Golden Mile • 5 diff. wineries May 23 - 26 • 8 incl. meals

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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A JOURNEY TO SELF-CARE When was the last time you walked through the door of a gym?

Are you someone who rolls out of bed in the morning, slides into workout clothes and, while still half asleep, heads out the door to exercise that wonderful body you have been carrying around (or has been carrying you around) for years? Or, are you like me, having done none of that for too long?

The January issue of INSPIRED Senior Living ran several excellent articles about keeping fit – stories about how to do it and stories of people who continue to do it. I, however, was not one of them. For one reason or another, I have not walked through the door of a gym, picked up free weights or done a sit up for over two years. I know how good I feel when I do it.

I know how good my body looks when I follow a program. I just haven’t done anything about it. Yes, I think about it often (well sometimes), but there always seems to be something else to do – lunch with a friend, a book to be read, notes to go over.

Something always seems to keep me away from exercising.

Well, last week, I finally did it! Feeling inspired, I walked through the door of one of the new YM/YWCAs in Victoria.

The staff was friendly, open and non-judgmental; ready to help in any way they could. Several days later, I came back for an orientation. I squeezed myself into my old workout clothes, jammed my feet into shoes that barely fit anymore, and worried that I had forgotten almost everything I had previously learned.

Courageous

&

After 45 minutes, Trace had gently and professionally guided me through a session that will allow me to move more smoothly, get up from the floor more easily, and feel more comfortable in my

by PAT NICHOL own skin.

I have two goals: 1. I want to be able to dance with the Hula Dancers at INSPIRED Senior Living’s 55+ Lifestyle Show in March; and 2. I want the energy, confidence and stamina to perform well at a speaking engagement among my peers in Seattle in July.

So, my friends, do what you can, stay as flexible as possible, and take care of that wonderful body that has been taking care of you all these years. Also, I would appreciate any loving energy you can send me as I move through this phase of self-care. |

Outrageous

I look forward to seeing you March 21 at the 55+ Lifestyle Show. Please introduce yourself; I offer free hugs!

Pat Nichol is a speaker and published author. Reach her by email at mpatnichol@gmail.com or visit Pat’s website at patnichol.ca

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MARCH 2017

27 29

GYM WEAR: COMFORTABLE & SEXY

by CALLIE MARTIN We’re three months into 2017 and, so far, you’ve kept up with your New Year’s resolution to work on your fitness.

Whether you’re practising for that marathon you’ve always dreamed of running, or simply getting in the habit of taking brisk walks around the neighbourhood, it’s time to ditch the old sweatshirt you’ve had since college and lunge your way into the world of fashionable athletics. Different from the hot trend of athleisure wear, these clothes actually see the inside of a gym!

For those just starting out on your fitness journey – interested in keeping active but not about to start your mornings at 6 a.m. flipping over monster truck tires in the name of strength-training – getting clothes that are adaptive to different environments is crucial. First, you’re going to need to invest in a pair of breathable leggings or pants, so look for fabrics such as Lycra, nylon or spandex. In addition to making your derrière look perkier, they’re known to dry quicker than cotton, which is a big no-go for anyone pre-

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FASHION BOUTIQUE & ESSENTIAL LUXURIES

30 28

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

paring to work up a sweat. Modern leggings come in a variety of colours and patterns, so whether you’d like to stick with a neutral to match many different tops, or go with a psychedelic print to showcase your personality, there is no shortage of options to suit your style.

Next, we need to address issues above-the-waist: tops and bras. If looking good is feeling good, then it’s time to ditch the old tattered t-shirt. Racerback tank tops are often designed to allow your skin to breathe, and to allow a greater range of motion for those of you into yoga or Pilates.

As a bonus, many come with a bra built into the shirt, thereby eliminating an expense and extra fabric during your sweat session. For those of you uncomfortable showing your arms or clavicle, a high-neck t-shirt (short-sleeved or long) can still be cute and comfortable, provided it is fitted to your body. After all, no one benefits from dressing in a potato sack while jogging on a treadmill – or running to meet friends for coffee.

Now, some of us may need a little more than just “moral support” when we workout, hence the beloved sports bra. Sports bras are often designed to fit into one of three categories: lowimpact (for yoga or stretching), medium-impact (for light jogging or brisk walking), and high-impact (for marathons, CrossFit, or surviving in a post-apocalyptic society). The right bra can make all the difference in your workout, so choose something you’re comfortable in, but that also makes you feel good. Ideally, you want “the girls” to be held in place, but not smashed down, so make sure you take a few deep breaths when trying one on to make sure you get optimal oxygen supply (doing a few jumping jacks doesn’t hurt either).

Even if your motivation around your fitness goals is starting to wear thin, it’s never too late to start looking great; when you feel better, you perform better. So leap, walk, lunge and sprint into your fitness goals in style! |

WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Colour Specialist | Precision Haircutting | Make-up Application

Meet Hana at the 55+ Lifestyle Show on March 21st.

MARCH SPECIAL 15% OFF Colour

It’s Not Just a Haircut, It’s an Experience Trained by master stylist Nick Arrojo (from What Not To Wear fame), Hana Akai is the owner of Canada’s only Arrojo Ambassador salon exclusively featuring Nick’s trademark colouring, cutting and styling expertise and quality hair care products. Hana has worked and trained in Japan, New York, Las Vegas, Seattle, Cuba & California.

If you want a stylist who will provide supportive advice, quality products and a precision hair cut that works for your lifestyle, call Hana today.

Stylist of INSPIRED Senior Living’s reader make-overs.

AKAI HAIR DESIGN 2559 Quadra Street, Victoria BC 250-383-3227 | www.akaihairdesign.com

SID WILLIAMS COURTENAY, BC

TUES. MAR. 14/17-SHOWTIME 7:30PM BOX OFFICE 250-338-2430 www.ticketsatsidwilliamstheatre.com

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WED. MAR. 15/17-SHOWTIME 7:30PM THURS. MAR. 16/17-SHOWTIME 7:30PM BOX OFFICE 250-754-8550 BOX OFFICE 250-386-6121 www.porttheatre.com www.rmts.bc.ca

PHONE

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Tickets only $25 each! • 3 for $60 • 5 for $90

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MARCH 2017

29 31

Start the Conversation

By Wendy Johnstone

“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”

–J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

T

his quote reminds me of my mom. No, she isn’t a dragon, well, not literally, anyway. Figuratively, she has, however, drilled in me the importance of planning for potential dragon attacks.

Mom is one of those people that loves to plan. So, it would make sense that she would appreciate and value the importance of advance care planning, right?

Nope! Despite having a gerontologist for a daughter and an equal in her passion for planning, my mom is reluctant to engage in discussions on advanced care planning.

She’s not alone. About 50 per cent of Canadians have never talked to family and friends about what they’d want if they were ill and could not speak for themselves.

Advance care planning isn’t just for seniors or those facing a critical illness. A process of thinking about and sharing your wishes for future health and personal care, it’s for everyone, including family caregivers, the young and the healthy. Legislation in BC allows us to choose the type of care we want, if we can’t speak for ourselves. We can appoint someone to be our voice when ours is silenced. We can have someone make sure our values and beliefs around our care and death are respected.

From thinking and sharing, the next part of advance care planning is writing down your wishes and instructions for future health care. Appointing someone to be a substitute decision maker is part of your plan. An advance care plan can also include a representation agreement, an advanced health care directive and an enduring Power of Attorney.

About 50 per cent of Canadians have never talked to family and friends about what they’d want if they were ill and could not speak for themselves.

And although talking about our demise and death isn’t always top of mind or something to bring up at the next big social event, it’s important to consider that the topic of advance care planning is just as much about living as it is about dying.

Yes, it may be a little uncomfortable, at first. Family caregivers, younger generations and seniors will agree: the first conversation is often the hardest. For many, it can be a relief to have a place to express and document our preferences.

Directing our care, if we cannot speak, is a gift – to ourselves and the people who care about us.

And remember, it is never too early to start the conversation… but it can be too late!

The best place to start is by going to Speak Up at www.advancecareplanning.ca Wendy Johnstone is a Gerontologist and a consultant with Family Caregivers of British Columbia in Victoria, BC.

Family Caregivers of British Columbia is a registered charity that provides free emotional support, education, and information to family caregivers.

Toll-free BC Caregiver Support Line 1 877 520 3267 32 30

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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Marketplace COLLECTOR SEEKING vintage/collectable cameras, binoculars and microscopes.

Nikon, Leica, Contax, Rolleiflex, Zeiss, Canon, etc. Mike 250-383-6456 or e-mail: msymons6456@telus.net (Victoria) HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE is a

company with HEART. Our CAREGivers are thoroughly trained in dementia care, bonded, and insured. We provide personalized home care for your family’s needs.

Book a complimentary Care Consultation.

Please call 250-382-6565 or visit our website www.homeinstead.com/victoriabc

SENSUAL MASSAGE. Are you missing

touch? I’m a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, I work with Couples and Individuals. Sher 250-889-4166 or sexeducator@telus.net

CHANGING PLACES Downsizing and

relocation specialists SINCE 1991. Moving?

Aging in place? Need help? Don’t know where to start? Let us take care of all the details from start to finish. Please call Jane at 250-721-4490 Victoria and the Island for a free estimate www.changingplaces.ca

DOWNSIZING?

OVERWHELMED?

Dream Downsizing can take the stress out of a move. Sorting, packing, unpacking, advising, and more. For a Free estimate call Cathy 250-634-3207. BBB

DEBI’S MOBILE HAIR SERVICES in the

comfort of your home for everyone in your family. Serving the Victoria area. Please call Debi at 250-477-7505.

ALWAYS GREAT FEET. Nanaimo’s professional mobile foot care nurses. Debbie Mason LPN and John Patterson LPN. Home, facility, and hospital visits. Experienced, qualified nursing foot care for toenails, corns, calluses and ingrown nails. Direct billing for DVA clients. 250-390-9266.

DEFEATING DISEASE - A new book by a

Nutritional Health Consultant explains Health and Disease from an “Electrical Compatibility” point of view. Discover three simple steps to help you achieve any level of health that you desire. For more details on the book visit: www.defeatingdisease.com

WANTED: OLD POSTCARDS, old photographs, and pre-1950 stamped envelopes.

Also buying old coins, medals and badges.

Please call Michael 250-652-9412 or email fenian@shaw.ca

BURTS AUTOMOTIVE

831 Devonshire Rd. Victoria • 250-384-6677 www.burtsautomotive.com

We value honesty and provide reliable advice and repairs. You will only ever be advised on needed repairs and not be bluffed with extra and unnecessary work.

Burt Wams, Owner • 40 yrs in business

CORNERSTONE SENIORS ADVOCACY

Assisting Seniors through life’s changes.

Specializing in Estate Clear Out & Sale of Assets, Stay at Home Project Management, Transitional Moves & Downsizing. Licenced, Bonded & Insured. 250.858.8560 or visit www.cornerstoneadvocacy.com

WANTED: Old stereo/audio equipment.

Any condition. Amplifiers, turntables, speakers, receivers etc. Honest/friendly. Victoria and V.I. Call Bob, 250-896-2268, or email northtowns26@gmail.com FOOT-CARE IN YOUR HOME Victoria Foot Nurse Judy LaRoy Begg LPN SINFA. 250-857-3797. jlaroybegg@gmail.com HEALING FOOTCARE to ease your mind and lighten your step for a healthier walk. Call Nurse Marcia R.N.,B.Sc.N. 250-686-3081.

DEALER SPECIALIZING in items priced from $500 -$10,000 pays instantly for vintage quality Wrist Watches; Omega, Rolex, Patek Philippe, Jaeger LeCoultre, Piguet, etc.

Working or not and Gold Pocket Watches, Fine Clocks, Nautical Instruments, Optics, Military Medals, Badges, Log Books, Swords, Antique Firearms, Gold & Silver Coins. 4065 MacDonald Street, Vancouver. Call Graham 604-716-8032.

MEMOIRS & TRIBUTES Share stories from your life, and honour loved ones, with engaging booklets in words and pictures.

I’ll gather your input and create the results.

Makes a treasured gift! Call Barbara at 778533-2870, see me at the 55+ Lifestyle Show, or visit www.memoirsandtributes.ca CHAIR

YOGA

CRUISE

Vancouver Alaska. 7-day round trip June, 2017. Registered Yoga Teacher Annette Wertman. Small group classes. Omega 1-800-663-2669.

SENIOR LADY SEEKING walking com-

panion in Estevan area (Victoria). Sometimes requires a little help. Renumeration offered Ann 250-519-0800.

Boomer Tours & Travel Travel Without Barriers

Accessible Travel Experts Group Travel Experts Historical Tours Escorted Tours Air Travel Cruises Visit our booth at the 55+ Lifestyle Show Victoria Mar 21, 2017 Surrey Mar 25, 2017

travel@boomertours.ca 604-551-5693 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Save Money on Prescriptions Order online Fast, free shipping

By not having to pay costs for brick and mortar, we can pass the savings on to you!

A trusted pharmacist can answer all your questions via email, text, phone or live chat on the website. We can bill all major insurance plans, and even connect you with a BC doctor, 100% covered by your CareCard.

The medications used are identical to those you receive from any other Canadian pharmacy.

Discover the ease of buying your prescriptions online at www.seniorlivingmag.com/ myPharmacyonline Owned by a BC pharmacist with over 15 years experience.

Soul Mind Body Centre

Ten Greatest

Qualities of Your

24 to 26

March

Heart with

Dr. Peter Hudoba

9 · 1128 West Broadway Vancouver 10 am - 6 pm

778.379.9920

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Basic: $45 for 20 words Plus 5%GST $1.75/extra word. BW only Red spot color 10% extra Ads must be paid at time of booking Cheque / Credit Card accepted Phone: 250-479-4705 ext 100 office@seniorlivingmag.com Make cheque payable to: Senior Living, Magazine #3 - 3948 Quadra Street, Victoria BC, V8X 1J6

Marketplace ADVERTISING

OCTOBER 2009 31 39 MARCH 2017 33

Forever Fit THE IMPORTANCE OF FLEXIBILITY AS WE AGE

by EVE LEES Flexibility is the ability of your joints to move freely in a wide range of motion. Stretching exercises can help improve or maintain flexibility.

Flexibility can deteriorate, especially if you have a sedentary lifestyle. A lack of flexibility makes normal daily activities more difficult to do, leading to reduced mobility over time. Stretching our muscles regularly will help avoid loss of mobility.

Improved flexibility can reduce the incidence of low back pain, a common affliction as we age. In addition, a flexible muscle is much more efficient at absorbing shock, reducing the stress on our joints from high-impact activities like brisk walking or running. And the injury risk, in

I belong here, enjoying nature.

GENTLE WALK & TALK Enjoy fresh air, beautiful scenery, friendly chat and gentle exercise as we take different walks through Saanich parks and trails. Walks follow mainly chip or gravel trails but may have some steep sections. Sorry, dogs not permitted.

Thursdays 9:30 to 11am Mar 9 - Swan Lake

To learn more about static versus dynamic stretching, visit www.seniorlivingmag.com/articles/2017/02/static-vs-dynamicstretching

Meet at end of Nelthorpe, off McKenzie

Mar 16 - Interurban Rail Trail

Meet at Red Barn Market, 5550 West Saanich Rd. parking lot

For complete listing of locations call 250-475-5427

34 32

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

general, lowers with increased flexibility.

Stretching is most beneficial after you’ve finished exercising, or doing any type of physical exertion. Your body temperature rises during activity, and warm muscles are less likely to be injured while they are being stretched. Many incorrectly believe stretching before activity is considered a warm-up. But stretching does not raise body temperature or increase blood circulation to prepare for physical exertion, therefore it is not considered an adequate warm-up. Stretching after the workout is also an opportunity to coax your muscles to relax after the stress of physical activity. And a relaxed muscle is less likely to cramp later on.

If you choose to stretch for flexibility purposes before physical activity, it is best done following a brief warm-up of a non-stop activity that increases your heart rate (a brisk walk or riding a stationary exercise bike).

However, it’s fine to gently stretch even when you’re not “warmed up,” such as at your computer in the middle of the day. You won’t have as great a range of motion as after a workout when your muscles are warmer, so take it easy and avoid overstretching – which could cause injury.

Stretching for five to 10 minutes three days per week (particularly after you exercise) is sufficient to improve your flexibility. As you stretch, breathe comfortably and avoid overstretching – listen to your body and work within your own range-of-motion limits. Static stretching is the more common stretching technique used for improving flexibility. This involves a slow, gradual lengthening of a muscle, without any bouncing movements.

Avoid stretching to the point of pain; you should be stretching to relax the muscle. Hold each stretch for at least 15-30 seconds and repeat the stretch two to four times.

Stretching is a relaxing and rejuvenating activity that can prepare your body for daily physical challenges. |

Eve Lees is a Certified Nutrition Coach, a Health Writer & Speaker, and a former Personal Trainer with over 30 years experience in the health/fitness industry. www.artnews-healthnews.com

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Senior Living...

The Berwick Way™ At Berwick Retirement Communities, you will enjoy an unparalleled standard of living at a superior value.

Creating a wonderful environment where residents enjoy exceptional services from friendly staff is The Berwick Way. Find out more about The Berwick Way™ – Ask one of our Senior Living Experts Today!

www.BerwickRetirement.com V I C TO R I A | N A N A I M O | C O M OX | K A M LO O P S | C A M P B E L L R I V E R Proud to be BC owned and operated JOB BRC-17779 CLIENT: BERWICK Please visit our website under “How to Help” at www.niwra.orgRETIREMENT COMMUNITY PUBLICATION: SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE INSERTION DATE: TBD TRIM: 7.25X4.75 PREPARED BY: ECLIPSE CREATIVE INC. @ 250-382-1103 If you are interested in making a living Will or leaving

Your life’s work is an art

WIldlIfe legaCIes a legacy in your Will to North Island Wildlife Recovery Association, please email us at wildlife@niwra.org for a brochure & video.

Trust an expert with your masterpiece

We provide care to critically sick, injured and orphaned wildlife such as eagles, owls, song birds and black bears.

Help care for these animals by partnering with us through your legacy gift or donation.

Whether you’re planning for retirement or just need trusted financial expertise, rely on the professionals at Collins Barrow for:

THEY DEPEND ON US, AND WE DEPEND ON YOU...

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Elder care accounting services Estate planning and executor services Personal and trust income tax return preparation Current and long-term cash flow need analysis Contact an expert at Collins Barrow Victoria Ltd. at 250.386.0500.

Taking care of your financial future.

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L to R: Andrea Tang, Principal, and Robyn Walle, Manager

250-248-8543 | www.niwra.org Box 364, 1240 Leffler Road, Errington, BC

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I didn’t expect to feel so comfortable here.

Feeling at home means enjoying the things you like to do. Which is why at Amica, you can always enjoy your day the way you like to – read your book in a quiet corner or enjoy a snack when you want to.

You can expect an all-inclusive community that is personalized to you with a range of first-class amenities and services. You can choose care and support options tailored to your unique needs and preferences.

Independent Living

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Supportive Living

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Assisted Living

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Memory Care (New)

Come learn about our enhanced care and support options.

Call or book a visit online at amica.ca

Mature Lifestyles

Amica at Arbutus Manor 604-736-8936 Amica at Beechwood Village 250-655-0849 Amica at Douglas House 250-383-6258 Amica at Edgemont Village 604-929-6361(Now Open) Amica at Somerset House 250-380-9121 Amica at West Vancouver 604-921-9181 Opening early 2018 Amica at Saanich 250-220-8000

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36 INSPIRED LIVING All BC insertion: Mar pub: Senior LivingSENIOR community:

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