Motel v2 n1

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INDEX MOTEL MAGAZINE VOLUME 2 -‐ NUMÉRO 1

PORNSTAR VS ROCK STAR Furry Girl .............................................................p.6 cursed .......................................................................p.7 Stinking Lizaveta............................................p.8 Illuminati ............................................................p.10 How To Be A Drunk ASshole ................................................p.11 MOTEL TATTOO PICTORIAL Dave Cummings ................................................p.12 Cult Of Luna.....................................................p.14 Furry Girl ...........................................................p.15 CUlt Of Luna ....................................................p.17 Jumbo Killcrane .............................................p.18 HUNGY CD REVIEW.................................... p.20 Alabama Thunder Pussy 2004 European Diary ...................................p.22

MOTEL MAGAZINE

www.piratesrecords.com PUBLISHER/MARKETING:LEONARDO CALCAGNO ART DIRECTOR:NELSON ROBERGE TATTOO EDITOR:LEONARDO CALCAGNO MUSIC EDITOR:PABLO BOERR SEX EDITOR:ZEN ARCADE BAZOOKA EDITOR:PAT-K ROOM SERVICE Pablo Boerr, MOTEL, ZEN ARCADE, NEW DAY RISING, CHINO, RAYMI THE MINX, FIFTHFLOORLARRY, !HIJO DE LA SIETE!, ERIK LARSON. COVER “TYSON BODNARCHUK” www.subv.net Published by KILOBEATS MEDIA GROUP www.piratesrecords.com MOTEL.BAZOOKA magazine LAMB magazine - PIRATES records

HEAD OFFICE 5351 Parc Avenue, Montreal, P.Quebec, H4V9G1, Canada Phone: 514.270.6554 Advertising/Marketing: Leonardo Calcagno - calcagno.l@sympatico.ca Sales Rep: Pablo Boerr - pablo.motelmagazine@gmail.com 86$ RIÀFH /$0% PDJD]LQH

1573 N. Milwaukee ave. PMB 488, Chicago, IL USA 60622 Phone: 773.276.4474 PIRATES RECORDS Pat-K patk@videotron.ca MOTEL.BAZOOKA magazine distributed free in the Province of Quebec and the City Of Ottawa. Distributed in part by EXTREME TATTOO EQUIPEMENT - OFFICIAL DISTRIBUTOR IN CANADA OF MICKY SHARPZ

pornstar VS Â rockSTAR

FURRY  GIRL WHAT MADE YOU GET INTO THIS BUSINESS? I like sex. I like showing off and getting off. I like getting other people off. I like promoting positive sexuality and a rainbow of body types and sexual styles. I originally got interested in sex work from reading about old time prostitutes and hurdy-gurdy girls during the gold rush. There was a certain strength of character and independent spirit required of the women braving rough mining towns and the journey to them that truly impressed me. COULD YOU GIVE SOME POINTERS ON HOW TO PRACTICE YOUR ART? Be yourself, be silly, buy cute panties, and add as much light as you can to your photos. Learn to do it all yourself so you don’t have to depend on a Webmaster, photographer, manager, husband, editor, etc. for your livelihood. Your viewers will love you back for all the hard work you put into your smut. ANY SEXY OR/AND WEIRD STORIES IN A MOTEL? Nothing in a motel comes to mind, but I once had a great orgasm in another semi-public private space, a storage unit. I went there with an ex to get something, and we ended up screwing on a musty chair and made a lot of noise so the folk getting their things from the next unit went dead silent. They left before I had the chance to get my clothes back on and make eye contact with them, though. IF YOU WERE A DONUT, WHAT KIND OF DONUT WOULD YOU BE, AND WHY? 2QH RI WKRVH WDVW\ YHJDQ SXPSNLQ GRQXWV , ÀQG in hippie food stores on occasion, because I adore all things pumpkin. DOES SIZE MATTER, AND WHY? No, I’m not a size queen. I would rather have a small slice of a delicious dessert than an extra helping of mashed potatoes that just sit on my plate.

06 Â MOTEL

A VEGAN RECIPE? Everyone loves my tofu & booze pie: 1 pie crust ODUJH SDFNDJH PHGLXP ÀUP WRIX 1 1/2 cups of chocolate chips One shot each Kahlua, rum, and brandy (or three of Kahlua) Splash of soy milk (optional) Pour three shots of your preferred booze into the blender and blend with tofu until smooth. Melt the chocolate chips in the microwave, add them to the blender, and blend until mixed. Depending on the water content of your tofu and the strength of your blender, you might add a dash of soymilk to help this process. Pour into a ready-made or pre-baked piecrust and let chill overnight. FAVORITE SEX POSITION, AND WHY? That one where I’m lying there on my back with my legs in the air, and the dude is kneeling and fucking me. It hits my g-spot just right and allows me to indulge in two deadly sins: lust and sloth. PLAYBOY OR THE ECOLOGIST, AND WHY? I’d go with the porno. Magazines like Playboy and Hustler have consistently brought valuable,

funny, confrontational, and meaningful political and social articles to millions of people. Politics are always more palatable when surrounded by boobs. SEXIER THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? Too many to list, I have tons of standout events ZKDW KDYH D VSHFLDO HURWLF FKDUP 7KH ÀUVW WLPH I had sex, outdoors, in front of someone else. Getting a visible wet spot on my pants while PDNLQJ RXW LQ SXEOLF 7KH QHDU GHà RZHULQJ RI an adorable virgin in the bathroom on a bus. Teasing boys and getting them hard in public beyond their control. Exhibitionism in general, I suppose. WHAT’S NEXT? I’m working on a menstruation porn site which will be going up someday at EroticRed.com. %OHHGLQJ SXVV\ LV GHHPHG RQH RI PRVW ÀOWK\ obscene, and taboo things left in our society, and I want to give that society its red wings. FURRYGIRL.COM VEGPORN.COM VEGSEXSHOP.COM

ROCKSTAR Â VS Â PORN Â STAR

CURSED HELL Â COMES Â HOME

VWDUWHG EORRG\ EHDXWLIXO &856(' QHZ DOEXP 7:2 *RRGIHOORZ 5HFRUGV LV WKH SHUIHFW DQWKHP RI RXU ODYLVK DWURFLW\ FDOOHG *HRUJH : %XVK DQG 1(21$=,&216 WHAT MADE YOU GET INTO THIS BUSINESS? - The money. The big, big money. No, really we all just did this since we were teenagers, the IDFW WKDW LWҋV QRZ RIÀFLDOO\ D %XVLQHVV LV UHDOO\ D coincidence. We’d be doing it regardless. COULD YOU GIVE SOME POINTERS ON HOW TO PRACTICE YOUR ART? -Lose all your jobs. -Owe the government all the money you don’t make. -Scream your fucking head off. +DYH \RXU ZKROH OLIH DOO \RXU ÀQDQFLDO DQG SHUsonal stability be perpetually groundless. -Get people who don’t know you to call you a Sellout no matter what you do. -Have FUN with it. ANY SEXY OR/AND WEIRD STORIES IN A MOTEL? I always go to the hot tubs, which is dumb be-

cause no matter how hot they are or how much chlorine, you’re still basically bathing in someone else’s jizz. And once this year in a hotel in Kenora ONT, I took a shower in a creepy, empty hotel and when the water got hot, all this dried jizz started creeping up around my feet. It wasn’t cool. It was pretty fucked up. Now I just stay dirty and sweaty. IF YOU WERE A DONUT, WHAT KIND OF DONUT WOULD YOU BE, AND WHY? Well I’d be a cruller, naturally. I don’t think I need to explain that. DOES SIZE MATTER, AND WHY? Apparently it’s “what you do with it�. That and the right mood music (ie: the Stooges). BRAINS OR MUSCLES, AND WHY? I think its the combination that makes it work. Or is that just a convenient excuse for people without enough Meat? WHO IS YOUR HERO, AND WHY? I don’t think it’s fair to make people Heroes, it sets both them and you up to be let down. But

people that are inspiring to me? There’s lots of them. Mostly people who had the right ideas and killed themselves to express them. The lost anti-social artists. People whose ideas pretty much clashed with their world and the experience of being alive and drove them to death, exile or straight up “madnessâ€?, such as - K. Kieslowski (director) - R. Buckminster Fuller (scientist) - A. Rimbaud (writer) - Andy Kaufman (comedian) - Francisco Goya (artist) - Paul Bowles (writer) - F. Neitszche (philosopher, atheist) WHAT WILL YOU NEVER DO, AND WHY? I’ll never say never again. FAVORITE SEX POSITION, AND WHY? The “Mikeâ€?. PLAYBOY OR HUSTLER, AND WHY? Guns and Ammunition. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT? I shit my pants while running up the stairs one time about 2 years ago, but no one else was home so it wasn’t really embarrassing, but it would have been. Actually no, it was pretty cool, it just smelled like hell. SEXIER THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? The “Mikeâ€?. WHAT’S NEXT? Tour, tour, tour, more Cursed records, permanent hearing damage. “Unilateralist action by the world’s only hyperpower looks like bullying because, well, it is bullying. And America’s new pre-emptive strike policy would, if applied, make America itself a much less safe place, because if the US reserves the right to attack any country it doesn’t like the look of, then those who don’t like the look of the US might feel obliged to return the compliment. It’s not always as smart as it sounds to JHW \RXU UHWDOLDWLRQ LQ Ă€UVW Âľ 6 5XVKGLH

 MOTEL  07

SCREAM Â

MOTHERFUCKER!!! By  New  Day  Rising

:RRGVKRS FODVV , UHPHPEHU WKDW ODPH DVV ZRRG FUDIWLQJ FODVV ÀOOHG ZLWK VQLIÀQJ JOXH UHMHFWV DQG KHDGHG E\ D VFUHDPLQJ KLSSLH ZDU YHWHUDQ WHDFKHU ZLWK KLV ZHHNO\ VR FDOOHG OLIH H[SHULHQFH VHUPRQ +H KDG D MDU RI EOXH SLOOV WKDW NHSW KLP IURP VFUHHFKLQJ DQG KDYLQJ à DVKEDFNV , DOZD\V WULHG WR VRQLFDOO\ SLFWXUH WKH VRXQGWUDFN IURP KLV PDGQHVV WKDQNV WR 67,1.,1* /,=$9(7$ QHZ GDUN IX]] SV\FKHGHOLF PHWDO DOEXP , FDQ WDVWH WKH KRZOLQJ Stinking Lizaveta is a character in Brothers Karamazov, by Dostoyevsky. In this story there is a murder. Father Karamazov is murdered by his illegitimate son. Stinking Lizaveta is the mother of the son who murders the father. She is described as dread locked,

wearing a hemp dress, she’s a mute, anyway, we just thought it was a cool name and a cool reference, boy were we stupid. A much better name for the band would’ve been.... {insert just about anything here} and we talk about changing the band every single time we go on tour. But it’ll never happen. We are Stinking Lizaveta. 7+( *8,7$5 6&5($0,1* ,76 $0$=,1* :+$76 BEHIND THIS SONIC BEAUTY ... Desperation. Utter desperation. The theory is “scream motherfucker� YOUR VIEW ON THE GENOCIDE IN DARFUR? The truth is I’m not up on this one. There is so much going totally wrong with the world right now to pick

something like the Genocide in Darfur to talk about seems like reaching into a hat at a party, and the hat is labeled “World disaster,â€? ah here you go...Darfur. The question is how do you stop one group of people from killing another group of people, my understanding is that the genocide is against one ethnic group. I don’t NQRZ WKH DQVZHU WR WKLV TXHVWLRQ ,Ň‹P D SDFLĂ€VW DQG DJDLQVW WKH XVH RI GHDGO\ IRUFH WR UHVROYH FRQĂ LFW SL... WORST MUSIC MOMENT? for me, puking on the curb in front of Tacoland probably in ‘96, yes eons ago, and I still remember it vividly. I drank out of Ram’s magic bottle. &KHFN RXW 67,1.,1* /,=$9(7$ QHZ ² DQG 8WWHU DOEXP ² $7 /266 5(&25',1*6

laval

illuminati D[ )KHVJçQQTNCTT[

FIRST OFF THE FIRST THING I NOTICED ABOUT YOU GUYS, IS THAT YOU CAN PLAY THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR INSTRUMENTS, AND ACTUALLY SING IN HARMONY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BANDS TODAY MAKING MORE OF AN EFFORT ON THEIR LOOKS THAN THE MUSIC THEY PLAY? I think bands should pay more attention to their music. There’s no doubt that image plays into putting together a good band, but many people get caught up with all the non-musical aspects, like photo shoots, and press and such. All the photo shoots in the world won’t save your project if you suck. In fact, it makes matters worse! There are some bands making an effort and that’s cool. But unfortunately most of the crap you hear on the radio is very linear and super derivative. There are like 4 riffs that 90% of the singles on the radio use for choruses. They merely change the key and the shitty vocal melody on top of it. GIVE US 5 REASONS WHY WE SHOULD SELL ALL OF OUR RECORDS FOR A PENNY AND ONLY LISTEN TO THE ILLUMINATI FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES? I don’t think we’d ever tell anyone to sell their records and ONLY listen to The Illuminati! But we are perfectly comfortable with having them listen to us for the rest of their lives! WHAT’S THE SECRET OF PLAYING ROCK & ROLL THE ILLUMINATI WAY? We’re not too sure what the magic ingredient is, but we think it has something to do with being a threepiece. A lot of rock bands use two guitars, which is FRRO EXW LW GHÀQLWHO\ RFFXSLHV D ORW RI VSDFH VRQLFDOO\ We really enjoy having the extra space of not having a second guitar. It means that the rhythm section can get a little more adventurous and allows the guitar to explore some broader chords. We also have more control of the dynamics of the band. Playing with levels of volume and intensity is something we really dig. It’s another element to bring to the stage. YOU JUST GOT BACK FROM A TOUR WITH C’MON, WHAT WERE SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS? The C’Mon tour was a total blast. Edmonton was probably the wildest time we had. Montreal’s own Starvin’ Hungry were added to the bill (they actually did a few shows). Great venue, great turn out. All in all, I’d have to say the prairies are very receptive to the rock. POP Montreal was also a super cool night. IF YOU COULD PICK ONE MUSICIAN TO JOIN YOUR BAND DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE

10 Â MOTEL

AND WHY? I think we’re pretty happy as a three piece, but maybe if we had to choose somebody it would be Scott Wino from the Obsessed. We even asked him! DESCRIBE THE ILLUMINATI LIVE SHOW AS A BAR FIGHT BETWEEN HENDRIX AND KENNY G? Who’s Kenny G? HOW WAS THE RECORDING PROCESS FOR THIS RECORD, DID YOU HAVE A PRECONCEIVED IDEA OF THE TYPE OF SOUNDS AND OVERALL RECORD YOU WANTED TO PUT OUT? On Borrowed Time came together pretty smoothly. We actually didn’t have any idea of what to expect. We had never recorded with Jim on drums, so that was exciting. A lot of the songs were written right before we recorded them so we weren’t sure how they would come together. But we’re happy how they did! I think for our next record we’ll have a better idea of what to expect sonically. We’ve played more this past year than ever, and we already have some ideas. HOW WAS IT WORKING WITH IAN BLURTON? Ian is fantastic. We had already worked with him on the EP, so we had a well-established method for working together. Ian has a great ear for structure and pacing, and he helped us with the big picture of the record as a whole. EVER HAVE A BUNCH OF OLD BANKERS WITH THEIR TINY ESCORTS SHOW UP AT YOUR GIG THINKING IT WAS A CEREMONY / CELEBRATION IN THEIR HONOR? No, but I look forward to it! DAVID ICKE, REAL OR FAKE? I’m not sure. He has some interesting theories, but who knows? I haven’t read all his stuff, so I can’t say. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIS ILLUMINATI / LIZARD CONSPIRACY THEORY, SHITS WEIRD EH? I think it’s an interesting idea. I like the whole theory of the Hippocratic seal for medicine with the two snakes twisted in a double helix - DNA form. That’s a neat parallel. Put it this way - even if it is true they’ll never be able to prove it. IF YOU WERE STUCK ON AN ISLAND WITH THE REST OF THE FELLOWS IN THE BAND, WHAT WOULD COME FIRST “MANLOVE� OR “MANCHOW� AND WHO WOULD BE THE LAST STANDING?

Manchow - Jim is constantly hungry. He would turn before Les and I, and kill us both. He’s a Yeti. NAME 3 BANDS THAT SHOULD STOP PLAYING MUSIC? Fuck, there’s so many I can’t even think of them right now... All the pop-punk bands can lick bag. Especially the Canadian ones. They are the worst purveyors of the shitty choruses I spoke of earlier. YOU GUYS HAVE TOURED QUITE A BIT, WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR BEST MOTEL STORIES FOR OUR READERS? I think the best one was on the Tricky Woo tour. In Saskatoon Les and Jim bought not one, but two electric racing sets. We made a monster double size track in our room and partied all night racing. We made ramps and launched cars at our sleeping roadie’s head. We set it up everywhere we went, but that was WKH Ă€UVW QLJKW SO HOW MANY MISDIRECTED EMAILS OR HATE MAIL DO YOU GET FROM PEOPLE THINKING YOU ARE AFFILIATED WITH THE ILLUMINATI THAT RUN THE WORLD? We’ve only had one good one so far. It was a guy going on about us being evil tools of the elite. It was signed ‘Army of God’ and it called us sick and satanic. We decided to post it on our message board! WHAT ARE 5 THINGS THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW ABOUT, THAT THE MEDIA WILL NEVER SHOW US? :KHQ \RX ORRN DW ZKR KDV EHQHĂ€WHG \RX KDYH to wonder. 7KH 86 HOHFWLRQ V 7KHUHŇ‹V VRPHWKLQJ Ă€VK\ GRZQ there. - The whole manufactured nature of the entertainment industry. Its all horse shit. Just look at that Ashlee Simpson episode. When it happened to Milli Vanilli, the guy killed himself. No one even cared that Ashlee was a fake. - The Lunar landing. Was it real, or just a publicity stunt? All that money could have been used for weapons research... - Can’t think of a number 5... WHEN YOU’RE ALL BY YOURSELF, YOU LIKE TO Smoke! IF YOU WERE A DONUT WHAT DONUT WOULD YOU BE AND WHY? I think I’d be a Canadian Maple. Frosted, with cream in the middle.

how  to  be  a

drunk  asshole By  Raymi  The  Minx  @  www.raymitheminx.com

THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE AT HOME PREPARING A HEALTHY MEAL FOR YOURSELF, EN ROUTE TO A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP, YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER INSTEAD THE ROUTE OF THE DRUNKEN ASSHOLE. ALWAYS A CROWD PLEASER, BARREL OF LAUGHS AND GUARANTEED GOOD TIME FOR ALL. HOW MIGHT ONE ACHIEVE SUCH STATURE? READ ON, GOOD FRIEND... ASSHOLE FRIENDS

Be sure to have a slew of your asshole friends around during times of drunkenness. They’re your inspiration and motivation. It is important there be at least one person present to guffaw and laugh real obnoxiously when you say something funny. Without a crowd, your stunts fall prey to being less effective. After all, what’s a play with no audience? Your friends are your followers - you must nurture them. If you don’t have friends, that’s ok. It’s so easy to make a friend for a night at any well-known drinking establishment. How do you do this? Easy. It’s called alcohol. Go someplace where alcohol is served. Like, a bar. Sit GRZQ 2UGHU ÀYH RI DQ\WKLQJ WKDWҋV WR \RXU OLNLQJ $ pitcher of beer, perhaps. Once you’re on the road to being well soused, it’s time to look for some partnersin-crime. Don’t know where to look? No problem. Let your eyes trail the room until they settle upon the bar. Usually \RXҋOO ÀQG D IHZ JRRG IRONV SURSSLQҋ LW XS $LP \RXU body in that direction. Plunk yourself down, mutter something profound at whoever’s closest, raise your glass in the air and clink it against your neighbor’s glass. Voila. You have a new friend.

THINGS TO COMMENT ON

Be sure to hold nothing back. Offend as many people as possible by discussing sensitive issues like religion, battle of the sexes and/or politics. Ask everyone if they’re racist and when they say no, tell them a horULEO\ RIIHQVLYH MRNH DQG ZKHQ LWŇ‹V RYHU KLJK Ă€YH \RXU friends whilst laughing hysterically at the joke you just made. Repeat the punch line again, if necessary. Attempt to make as many socially awkward moments as possible. Uncomfortable silences are great opportunities for one to blurt out random, stupid comments. Make brief, meaningless observations about everything, especially if it’s irrelevant to any part of your life. For example: “You know what really gets on my nerves? Velcro.â€? “You know what I hate? Squirrels.â€? “You know who I think is a real big jerk? David Hasselhoff.â€? This should really annoy people. Stop in-between sto-

ULHV WR RUGHU PRUH GULQNV :KHQ VRPHRQH Ă€UHV D UHWRUW in your direction be sure to inform them that they’re in the wrong, and slap the table very hard for emphasis. Pointing in their face is great too. Regale everyone with stories about how great you are. Disagree with everything they say, make lewd comments and wiseFUDFNV DERXW WKHLU DSSHDUDQFH ZHLJKW RXWĂ€W DQG OLIHstyle. Be sure to name-call as well. Get your friend(s) in on it. For example: “Dude, isn’t Henry a LOSER!? Just look at him!â€? “Yah, LOSER. Ha ha, good one!â€? Make sure you’re both pointing at Henry too. Good. This is effective because it is highly immature and it makes people actually believe that Henry is in fact, a loser. And you come out looking like an obnoxious, drunk dickhead. Which is exactly what we want. It’s genius. They’ll be congratulating you all night long.

SARCASM

Sarcasm is an easy way to get your asshole point across. It’s the lowest form of humor, feeding off of other people’s comments. It’s a no-brainer and always so nasty. For example: “Yah Henry, I looooove talking to you soooo much. Because I think you’re soooo smart.� Top 5 Rules of asshole drunkenness 1. It’s always your turn to talk 2. You are always right 3. You are the most intelligent person in the room 4. Nothing you do is stupid. 5. Know when to get the fuck out of there because you’ve offended too many people and they outnumber your drunken ass. Congratulations. You’re an asshole and I’m drunk.

UPPING THE ANTE

Be sure to hit on as many people in the same vicinity DV SRVVLEOH 7U\ DQG Ă€QG VRPHRQH ZKR KDV D ER\friend/girlfriend and make sure you get caught in the act. If you’re ballsy, make a couple ass-grabs. Stare rudely at someone if they have an obvious deformity. Single out the insecure ones and put them on the spot by asking inappropriate questions. Get someone to buy you a drink and then give it to one of your friends RU VPDVK LW RQ WKH Ă RRU Buy a round of shots for everyone at the bar except for one person. Like that Henry guy you called a loser previously. Don’t buy him a shot. Then, get everyone \RX GLG EX\ D VKRW IRU WR FRXQW WR Ă€YH WRJHWKHU UHDO loud and then take your shots at the same time. This will make Henry feel sad and left out. Then you should speak up and make sure it’s loud enough for Henry to hear you say, “Boy, that was the best shot I ever had. Don’t ya’ll agree?â€? This will make Henry feel even more sad and left out. Ha ha. Wear one of those T-shirts with a vulgar comment on it like: Bite me I fucked your mother Eat shit and die

 MOTEL  11

MOTEL TATTOO PICTORIAL

DAVE CUMMINGS PSC TATTOO 1906 RUE CENTRE, PT. ST-­CHARLES, QUEBEC 514.931.2325 www.psctattoo.com

SUICIDE Â NOTE

GET  INTO  IT...OR  BE  FOREVER  FUCKED  KID!!!!! BY  PABLO  BOERR DESCRIBE TOO SICK TOO DANCE AS A SCENE OFF RUSS MEYER’S CLASSIC FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL KILL? “Too Sick to Dance� is the feeling that I have in the back of my brain the entire movie because in Russ Meyer’s universe there are three well-endowed vixens that seem to exist for no other reason but to get naked – and they don’t. WHAT WAS THE WRITING AND RECORDING SESSION LIKE THIS TIME AROUND, I UNDERSTAND JASON WRITES A LOT OF THE MUSIC AND WAS STILL INVOLVED IN SCHOOL, HOW DID YOU GUYS PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER? Jason came to us with some sort of otherworldly mix tape; I don’t know what the fuck it was. But it was the base notes for the songs. We went into the studio rehearsed and all collaborated on how we wanted the songs to form. They became what we were in Kurt’s basement and studio at 5am. And we are happy with them for that reason. AND YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN RECORDING WITH KURT BALLOU FOR A LONG TIME NOW, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE FACTORS THAT BRING YOU BACK TO WORKING WITH HIM? His brutally honesty at telling Jason when he’s playing a shitty drumbeat. His great talent at capturing the songs correctly. His father like attitude while we unrelentlessly fuck around with each other. Things like that, and that he’s our friend, and knows what we want.

YOUR MUSIC INCORPORATES A LOT OF DIFFERENT STYLES BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT ONLY YOU GUYS COULD CREATE, IT HAS A VERY UNIQUE FEEL, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE SHAPED THE SOUND OF SUICIDE NOTE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS TO WHAT IT IS TODAY? Fuck. It probably comes from not wanting to emulate one awesome part of a great bands song. I feel that a lot of bands just hear one great part in a Helmet, or Deadguy song and make a band that sounds like only 1 riff in one of their awesome songs. I think that when you are younger you want songs that are parts and pieces of bands that you love, but eventually you get bored with it and you start to make something that you don’t have preprogrammed in your head. After awhile it comes to Ă RZHU ZLWK WKH SHRSOH WKDW \RX KDQJ RXW ZLWK DQG play with. And that’s Jay, Jason, and Bobo. IT’S THE HOLIDAY SEASON. YOUR MOM OR A LOVED ONE COMES HOME AND GIVES YOU A PINK STUDDED BELT AND A HOW TO CUT YOUR HAIR LIKE A ZELDA CHARACTER BOOK WHAT DO YOU SAY TO HER? I would tell my Mom thanks and shower her with praise. Somewhere I would use the phrase “Oh, P\ JRG ZKHUH GLG \RX Ă€QG WKLV"Âľ /DWHU , ZRXOG use this information to return the merchandise and hopefully con the dipshit working the counter into giving cash, because a store that sells a pink VWXGGHG EHOW LV XQHTXLYRFDOO\ JRLQJ WR EH Ă€OOHG ZLWK bullshit. Then I could go to an arcade and blow it on air hockey.

COULD YOU TELL US ABOUT SOME OF THE SIDE PROJECTS YOU GUYS ARE INVOLVED WITH, I KNOW THERE’S STABBED BY WORDS AND OLD DEVIL MOON, ARE THERE ANY OTHER PROJECTS MUSICAL OR NON MUSICAL THAT YOU’RE INVOLVED WITH? Jason Gagovski is Stabbed by Words, Old Devil Moon, and Sweet Cobra. He also does HSR. Golday is probably in a band in LA snorting Coke and fucking hookers. Bob is always trying to do an online zine, whether or not it actually will happen is a mystery. I do a lot of screen-printing and design in central Florida. JASON GAGOVSKI IS ONE OF THE GUYS THAT RUNS HAWTHORNE STREET RECORDS, COULD YOU TELL US A BIT HOW THINGS ARE GOING WITH THE LABEL, WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE RELEASE, COULD YOU TELL US ABOUT SOME OF THE RELEASES COMING? Things are going decently with HSR they are releasing bands that they appreciate and respect regardless whether or not they have commercial appeal. So as far as from a business standpoint this might seem suicidal. But from my perspective they are doing a good job. My favourite release is Deadguy live, because it’s funny. Some new releases coming out are Playing Enemy, Dogs, You Will Die, Stabbed by Words, and Escape Grace. WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE MUSIC SCENE YOU GUYS CAME FROM AND ARE STILL PART OF, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHAT’S HAPPENED

 MOTEL  15

TO IT IN THE LAST 10 YEARS? In short, I think that the bands that shine are really great and get credited, but with the increased media surrounding this type of music there seems to EH DQ RSHQ Ă RRG JDWH RI EDQGV WKDW VRXQG WKH VDPH WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE IMPROVED AND WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE GONE TO SHITS? The quality of musicianship, artwork, and recording sound has raised considerably. The amount of copycatting is ridiculous (obviously not in regards to Suicide Note) WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR BEST MOTEL ROAD STORIES? I would love to tell you about how we shit on each other, and tea-bagged sleeping dogs. But we really don’t try and do fucked up shit, fucked up shit usually happens to us. For example, a friend of ours asked us to play an engagement party once. He promised us 100 dollars, and despite the unlikely setting, the lure of money proved to be too great. The party was being held in a trailer park in North Indianapolis and the yard sale sign telling us where to go was pointed straight into the woods. We somehow found the party in the darkness, and pulled up on some shit that looked like a back woods Twilight Zone episode guest starring the Sepultura 94’ Road &UHZ 7KH DUHD ZDV OLW E\ -HHS KHDGOLJKWV DQG D ERQĂ€UH D ERQĂ€UH WKDW looked as if it would surely rage out of control before the night was over, maybe turning into a nice little book-burning barbeque – to be seen from miles away. I immediately noticed three things: 1. A makeshift stage for us to play on, which consisted of three shipping crates stacked on the ground and an extension chord which snaked towards us from out of the woods. 6RPH GXGH ZKR KDG SDVVHG RXW QH[W WR WKH Ă€UH ZKR , IHDUHG ZRXOG burn to death as soon as the person who was throwing cups of gasoline RQWR WKH Ă€UH JRW WRR URZG\ 6RPH ZLOG GUXQN GXGH ZKR ZDV WKURZLQJ D FRXFK RQWR WKH Ă€UH /LNH OLIWLQJ WKLV FRXFK XS E\ KLPVHOI DQG WKURZLQJ LW LQWR D UDJLQJ Ă€UH 3HRSOH ZHUH VHULRXVO\ JRLQJ FUD]\ /LNH :RRGVWRFN H[FHSW ZLWK RQO\ Ă€IWHHQ SHRSOH DQG WZR EDQGV /LNH D FLUFXV H[FHSW GUXQN and with no elephants. Like an engagement party, but in the woods and at night. Complete and utter debauchery. Crazed partygoers dancing in WKH OLJKW RI WKH Ă€UH VLOKRXHWWHG DJDLQVW WKH EDFNGURS RI SLFNXS KHDGOLJKWV like really big bugs. Amidst this Lord of the Flies-like chaos, we set up our gear and got ready to play. It really was one of those ‘how did we get here’ NLQGV RI WKLQJV EXW QRW OLNH PDNLQJ LW ELJ LQ +ROO\ZRRG :H Ă€QDOO\ VWDUWHG and gave it our all, rocking out for these sweaty, drunk, soon to be married people. Shirtless dudes everywhere were burning things that weren’t supposed to be burned, to our songs. We were the soundtracks to bedlam. If LW KDG EHHQ D IRU UHDO YLGHR VKRRW 079 ZRXOGQŇ‹W KDYH DLUHG WKH Ă€QLVKHG product. We were loving it. Loving it in the dark. And in the middle of the Ă€IWK VRQJ JRG SLVVHG GRZQ RQ XV LQ SURWHVW ,Ň‹G OLNH WR WHOO \RX WKDW ZH MXVW kept playing, risking electrocution to preserve the spontaneity of the muddy PRPHQW EXW , FDQŇ‹W ,QVWHDG ZH Ă€QLVKHG WKH VRQJ DQG IUDQWLFDOO\ ORDGHG all the gear back into the van like responsible pussies, racing like it was a fucking shopping spree - like we were stealing our own gear. When we got ready to leave, we found some dude passed out in the passenger seat of OUR VAN. Some dude, dead to the world, was taking a drunken nap in our van. He was all slobber-faced, with a baseball hat crookedly perched on his KHDG VORXFKHG RYHU OLNH KH KDG EHHQ VKRW $QG ZKHQ ZH ZHUH Ă€QDOO\ DEOH to wake him up, he absolutely would not leave. Not because he loved the inside of our cracked-out van, really, but just because he didn’t want to not EH SDVVHG RXW 8VLQJ RXU SRZHUV RI SHUVXDVLRQ DQG VREULHW\ ZH Ă€QDOO\ JRW KLP WR JHW RXW :H ZRXOG Ă€QG RXW ODWHU WKDW WKLV JX\ VWXPEOHG EDFN LQWR WKH woods in the rain, got into his car, and promptly crashed it into a tree. The FROOLVLRQ VWDUWHG D Ă€UH DQG WKH ,QGLDQDSROLV YROXQWHHU Ă€UH GHSDUWPHQW ZDV FDOOHG WR VTXHOFK WKH URDULQJ Ă DPHV 6R KH ZHQW IURP VOHHSLQJ SHDFHIXOO\ in a dry van, to wrecking his car into a tree. All this, and we got paid 100 bucks too.HAHAHAHHAHAH BRILLIANT!!!!! SO WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THE SUICIDE NOTE IN 2005? Honestly, who the fuck knows Jay might be dead tomorrow, and if I get rich the band is off. THERE YOU HAVE IT KIDS...GO BUY THE SUICIDE NOTE RECORD, SUPPORT THEM LIVE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW

16 Â MOTEL

A Â O NE Â O N Â O NE Â WITH Â MAGNUS Â OF Â CULT Â OF Â LUNA BY Â PABLO Â BOERR

HI, COULD YOU PLEASE DESCRIBE THE SOUND OF CULT OF LUNA AS AN ART GALLERY ROBBERY Dude, that’s awesome! But yeah, it starts out really quiet and fragile...and when the alarm goes off all hell brakes lose! Great analogy man, just great...I’m going to start telling people we sound like an Art Gallery Robbery. THE OVERALL TONE OF SALVATION IS VERY POWERFUL, MOODY AND DARK BUT YET HAS AN URGENCY FOR CHANGE, BOTH MUSICALLY AND LYRICALLY, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT INSPIRED THE CREATION OF THIS ALBUM, AND ARE ANY OF YOUR EARLY HARDCORE INSPIRATIONS STILL AN INFLUENCE? Thanks for your kind words. We get inspired by all NLQGV RI H[SUHVVLRQ DQG DUW %RRNV ÀOPV DQG PXVLF Not to mention the environment we live in, the people in our lives, etc, etc. WAS THE WRITING PROCESS ANY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR PREVIOUS WORK? Yes it was. I’d say this record is more of a group effort than anything we have done before. Johannes or Erik would come up with some sort of basic riff structure, and then we’d all sit down in the rehearsal space arranging the songs together. We are seven creative individuals and we tried to bring the best out of everyone’s ideas into the songs. I UNDERSTAND YOU ENGINEERED THE ENTIRE RECORD, WHAT OTHER BANDS WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK WITH IN A STUDIO ENVIRONMENT? True. There are a lot of bands I’d like to work with! But instead of name-dropping I can tell you that I like bands who get into the studio with an open mind, bands who are not afraid of doing stuff that sticks out! And my job is to help them get there! WHEN I FIRST HEARD YOUR NEW ALBUM I NOTICED A MASSIVE ATTACK-TRIP HOP KIND OF VIBE TO SOME OF THE CHORD MOVEMENTS AND FEEL/GROOVE, ESPECIALLY WITH THE FIRST SONG, WAS THE LATE 90’S BRISTOL SCENE AN INFLUENCE? It’s funny that you’re mentioning Massive Attack. Mezzanine is seriously one of my favorite albums of all time. For me personally they have been an important inspiration. I wouldn’t say they are the main source of LQVSLUDWLRQ IRU 6DOYDWLRQ WKRXJK EXW GHÀQLWHO\ D SDUW of it... WHAT PROJECTS ARE YOU WORKING ON IN STUDIO, AND WHAT SITUATIONS DO YOU PRE-

FER TO BE IN STUDIO OR LIVE SETTING? I prefer both! Playing live is awesome in one way, I love that. Recording/producing bands is awesome in a creative way. So I wouldn’t want to be without anyone of them. HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN THE BAND GOES ON TOUR AND YOU CAN’T JOIN THEM BECAUSE OF YOUR BUSY WORK SCHEDULE AT THE STUDIO? It bums me out, but I really think it’s possible to combine! Actually, this is what needs to be done now since I’m going to play the drums live from now on. Thomas isn’t going to play live with us much more because he is busy with other things, and since I’m a drummer I will get back to the position in the band that I started out in. We will go on a 6 week Euro-tour from Feb 3rd, and hopefully N. America after that so that will be exciting as hell. WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE YOU GUYS DELIVER SALVATION ON OUR SHORES? Hopefully we will make it to North America 1st half of WKLV \HDU , GRQŇ‹W KDYH DQ\ FRQĂ€UPDWLRQV \HW EXW LW ORRNV like it might actually happen. We are sooo keen on getting over there to play since we get a lot of emails from people wanting that and we want to meet friends WKHUH DOVR &KHFN +<3(5/,1. ´KWWS ZZZ FXOWRĂ XQD FRPÂľ ZZZ FXOWRĂ XQD FRP IRU LQIR WHAT IS ONE OF THE BEST MOTEL STORIES FROM TOUR? 8KPP , FDQŇ‹W WKLQN RI DQ\WKLQJ VSHFLĂ€F ULJKW QRZ EXW I can tell you that we are the most immature douche bags when we are alone without any outsiders. Stuff can be pretty crazy if we get alcohol in our system. HAVING SO MANY MEMBERS IN THE BAND, DOES THAT CREATE ANY TENSION WHEN WORKING ON NEW MATERIAL OR DURING TOUR? Actually, in the last couple of years the chemistry between the band members has grown really good. We hang out a lot with each other on our spare time, which I think is great. So simply put: No! DRIVE LIKE JEHU OR UNBROKEN AND WHY? Drive Like Jehu, awesome band. I have such a major weakness for emo/indie-rock! It’s all I listen to man haha. Though I have to add Unbroken are cool as fuck too.

SWEDEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HOT BED FOR CREATIVE AND ORIGINAL BANDS, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BANDS FROM SWEDEN THAT YOU RECOMMEND? Gosh...there are a lot of bands. Hmm, there are a few really good bands from Urea right now...I really want to recommend a band called Isolation Years; they just Ă€QLVKHG D QHZ DOEXP $OVR WKH QHZ 6RXQGWUDFN RI RXU Lives CD rules! ARE THERE STILL ANY SIDE PROJECTS INVOLVING MEMBERS OF CULT OF LUNA LIKE KOMA OR ARE YOU ALL CONCENTRATING ON CULT OF LUNA AT THE MOMENT? Yeah, some people have side projects, more or less serious...Johannes involvement with Koma is one of the more serious I guess. But we’re going to try to tour as much as possible with Cult of Luna this year (2005) and then we will see what happens. A new album hopefully! Vikings once ruled the seas heck they ruled the world!! ARE YOU PLANNING ON USING SOME OF THEIR CONQUERING TECHNIQUES TO TRIUMPH OVER THE WORLD LIKE YOUR ANCESTOR MINUS THE PILLAGING AND BURNING? Totally, we still have it in our blood...so beware. Can’t promise anything regarding the pillaging though. COULD YOU DESCRIBE THE EVOLUTION OF YOUR SOUND THROUGHOUT THE YEARS? Well, I guess it has evolved from being slow epic hardcore on the 1st album, to being more “melodic based heavy postrock-ish stuffâ€? on the new album Salvation. It’s so hard describing your own music, but I don’t WKLQN , FDQ GR LW DQ\ EHWWHU WKDQ WKDW :H KDYH GHĂ€nitely stepped away from the aggressive sound that we had on The Beyond. Since then we have grown tremendously musically, and I honestly feel that SalYDWLRQ LV WKH Ă€UVW DOEXP WKDW LV UHDOO\ WKH WUXH VRXQG RI Cult of Luna... Yeah I know, it sounds fucking pretentious but it’s true. WILL YOU RELEASE ANY RECORDS ON OTHER LABELS LIKE THE HYDRAHEAD 7â€?? It’s possible, you never know! THANKS FOR THE INTERVIEW MAGNUS Rock!

UMEA 95 OR UMEA 2K5? Uhmm, I have to say Umeü 2k5...it’s nice to be nostalgic sometimes, but I’d rather live full on right now!

 MOTEL  17

DIE,  STABBED By  Zen  Arcade

-XPERŇ‹V .LOOFUDQH QHZ DOEXP 7KH 6ORZ 'HFD\ IHHOV OLNH WKH NLOOLQJ RI %DPELŇ‹V GDG D EHDXWLIXO EUXWDO DFWLRQ WR VKRZ XV WKH IROO\ RI PDQNLQG :LWK LWV H[SHULPHQWDO GRRP K\SQRWLFDOO\ VOXGJH DWWDFNV WR RXU VXEFRQVFLRXV -.Ň‹V UHFUHDWHV RXU GDLO\ WHOHYLVHG GLVPLVVHG E\ VXEPHUJLQJ XV WR D FODVKLQJ RI XQNQRZQ QRVLO\ VHQVHV REVIEW YOUR LATEST ALBUM AS A PSYCHOTIC SHOOTING DRIVEN SPREE IN THE DESSERT... (ULN Ă€UVW ZH ZRXOG VKRRW $GULDQ WKHQ 7UR\ WKHQ 1RHO and then I’d be done. YOUR VIEW ON THE BUSH’S “DEMOCRATIZATIONâ€? OF THE MIDDLE EAST? E: Ummm, I think it is sickening.... like when he calls it “spreading freedomâ€?...is it free when one country destroys another, then claims itself righteous in it’s effort to “rebuildâ€? an economy out of the ashes that just hapSHQV WR EH PRUH SURĂ€WDEOH WR LWVHOI" , PHDQ WKH\ ZURWH the new constitution, took over the television, radio, and newspapers. They’re trying to brainwash them just like they brainwashed us, it’s like something out of a fucking movie, and there’s a ton of zombie Americans just going along with it. They think its god’s fucking plan or something...its truly scary shit that shakes me to my core.

Noel: I don’t believe that democracy exists anywhere anymore, I do believe that the term “democratizationâ€? is used as the facade to keep people blind to what’s really going on in Iraq. The elite one world government is just the collective residual extension of the fascist third Reich, indeed a fourth Reich. Theyve invaded what was once the cradle of all civilization for their RZQ QHIDULRXV SXUSRVHV $FTXLVLWLRQ RI RLO Ă€HOGV EHLQJ one, access to the oldest historical Sumerian artifacts being another. How many people remember that one RI WKH Ă€UVW PLOLWDU\ WDVNV XQGHUWDNHQ WKHUH ZDV WKH ´VHcuringâ€? of Iraq’s museums? Anyway, I’m not really a political commentator, but I would suggest that anyRQH ZDQWLQJ WR Ă€QG RXW D ELW PRUH DERXW WKH WUXWK RI the situation go to infowars.com. Think what you will about Alex Jones approach, but there is no denying the integrity of his journalism. 7 REASON WHY SHOULD DEVOTE EVERY MINUTE TO THE UNDERSTATING OF JK MUSICAL MASTERY 1) Because if you stand close enough to the speaker, you can loosen some phlegm in your hashy lungs. 2) Because the bass lines will sooth your rheumatic joints 3) Because if you play the songs backwards, you can

hear recopies on how to make homemade drugs %HFDXVH , WKLQN VRPHRQH Ă€QJHUHG PH ZKHQ , ZDV little 5) Because you will be able to overcome all your fears with pills 6) Because 4/4 makes you puke, unless we or someone else cool is playing in it. 7) Because Bam Margera loves us. JK’S MAIN MESSAGE... E: I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down. Pissing the night away. Noel: “Don’t push me cos I’m close to the edge, I’m trying not to loose my head, huh-huh-huh-huh-huh, its like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.... -.Ň‹V IXWXUH E: A confederacy of lies is in the works.... CHECK OUT JUMBO’S KILLCRANE NEW ALBUM THE SLOW DECAY AT CRUCIAL BLAST RECORDS AND SNOWSTORM VOL.1 AT PIRATES RECORDS. WWW.PIRATESRECORDS.COM

HUNGY

CD REVIEW

CULT OF LUNA SALVATION EARACHE RECORDS www.earache.com I was waiting for this record for a long time, Cult Of Luna has always excelled at what they do and always got better with every release they have put out, and Salvation is just another step in the same direction, with crushing heaviness that could move mountains and somber ambient moments that take you through emotions and feelings few band can put forth with their music. Cult Of Luna have given us a sonic masterpiece. (HIJO DE LA 7)

SUICIDE NOTE TOO SICK TO DANCE FOREVER FUCKED FERREST RECORDS www.ferretstyle.com This bad boy is one fucking tits of an album, the riffs are creative reminiscent of drive like Jehu yank crime era mixed with Fugazi, the grooves are in the pockets, vocals are dead on delivered with convictions, this Ballou produced bad boy is one sweet record, if you’re looking for something original in hardcore...check out Suicide Note, sweet intro, this is the type of records most people don’t get, get this now or be FOREVER FUCKED (HIJO DE LA 7)

DECAPITATED THE NEGATION EARACHE RECORDS www.earache.com These dudes may have a big part in saving Death Metal, taking a genre that has not been doing too well these past few years and injecting tons of fresh ideas. And what a fucking delivery it’s none stop from the get go, with tight tech riffs delivered at a breakneck pace (HIJO DE LA 7)

ZA0 THE FUNERAL OF GOD FERREST RECORDS www.ferreststyle.com This is Leo’s favorite band, him and our local village priest rock this shit super late at night and pray or have sex.... not too sure, I usually leave WKH RIĂ€FH DV VRRQ DV , VHH WKH ROG SULHVW ZDON LQWR WKH RIĂ€FH IRU KLV ´GDLly visitâ€? (FIFTHFLOORLARRY)

INCISION REVEALED AND WORSHIPPED EARACHE RECORDS www.earache.com What we have here is their follow up to 2002 “ Beneath the folds of Flesh� huge improvement, still based in the death grind genre, incision have crafted some solid riffage with some tech undertones that will pummel you like the fucking ho you are.

VAUX PLAGUE MUSIC INDY These guys have been at it for a while and I’m glad shit is going good for them, great melodic rock with hints of punk, with some epic moments, looking forward to the next release, the production is great especially on the faith no morish sex will happen tonight. (HIJO DE LA 7)

(FIFTHFLOORLARRY)

CARCASS CHOICE CUTS EARACHE RECORDS www.earache.com O shit another one of earaches greatest hits, unlike the cathedral comp. I personally think this one is crucial to all fans of grind and metal, containing, I would say 3 songs from all their releases and the peel sessions as an extra bonus, the smartest grind/ death rock band ever. Carcass live at Woodstock is still one of the best shows this city has ever seen. (FIFTHFLOORLARRY)

20 Â MOTEL

PUREBLANK DAYS ENDING IN Y YEAR OF THE SUN RECORDS www.yearofthesunrecords.com Pureblank have delivered an imSUHVVLYH ÀUVW DOEXP ORWV RI KHDY\ riffs and solid drumming, containing enough jud jud breakdowns to make noo metal kids go karate kid crazy in front of their girlfriends or boyfriend... I would prefer Less jud jud and more PHWDO JX\V RYHUDOO VROLG ÀUVW UHlease. (FIFTHFLOORLARRY)

FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAME ART DAMAGE INDY This CD didn’t play on my player, email me for it, ill trade it for some good chocolate chip cookies or some old playboys issues from the 60s in mint condition... (FIFTHFLOORLARRY) NEGATIVE CREEPS MUTUAL ANNIHILATION INDY Wow these guys call this “SATANCORE� ... So when exactly did SATAN become a fucking PUSSY??? (FIFTHFLOORLARRY)

SEEMLESS S/T INDY Usually bands featuring a bunch of members from other bands have a tendency to bring the suck, Seemless’ debut is an exception, from the get go this CD is packed full of solid riffs and a great vocal delivery. A band to watch (HIJO DE LA 7) KILLWHITENY DEAD NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TRIBUNAL RECORDS www.tribunalrecords.net I would hate to be in Whitney’s shoes...you’re FUCKED HO!!!! A mix of grind and death with tons of sample, I could totally see these dudes ripping live or at least causing some sort of bodily harm to an audience member. (FIFTHFLOORLARRY) HE IS LEGEND 91025 TRIBUNAL RECORDS www.tribunalrecords.net He is legend try to mix hard rock with some jud jud, and it falls short, they have a good thing going for them when they stick to the rock coming up with creative riffs and some sweet guitar and bass work and some of the vocal melodies are nothing short of amazing, but as soon as they go in that mall made jud jud it just waters everything down...stick to the rock...cuz mixing jud jud with rock is like mixing cocaine with crack and 2 bottles of vodka before going to visit your parents over the weekend to

wash you clothes...it’s a big fucking NO NO!! (HIJO DE LA 7) THE CHASE THEORY SCRAPBOOK 1998-2001 TRIBUNAL RECORDS www.tribunalrecords.net Attention emo bands, why cant you be more like the chase theory, record some good songs and call it quits...now if you CAN’T give us at least 3 decent songs...please don’t even try...stick to the ska band ...so to summarize this is a great release. Cheers SONOMA AERO S/T TRIBUNAL RECORDS www.tribunalrecords.net Like a drug induced coma, Sonoma Aero make you forget that Juan the pusher is really not that on point, and that it’s time for you to actually get your shit together and actually hook up with Hernando from biology class, who will get you really high at a better cost. A beautiful album, with lush melodies and fragile progressions, smoke a bowl and embark on a spectacular journey. A band to watch out for AHLEUCHATISTAS THE SAME AND THE OTHER NFI LABEL ZZZ QÀODEHO FRP Fuck!!!! Someone has to hire these dudes to score the music to a movie, now!!!!! Math rock with jazzy undertones and some sweet odd time meters, STRUCTION 13 MINUTES OF LOVE AND DOOM NFI LABEL ZZZ QÀODEHO FRP Noisy rock, this is a huge progresVLRQ IURP WKHLU ÀUVW UHOHDVH %XW VWLOO lacks in content, RAPIDER THAN HORSEPOWER S/T ALONE RECORDS www.alonerecords.com Holy shit this record is fucking dope, but then again it does feature members of Racebannon, so the chances of this blowing were very slim, full

of angular spazzy riffs, amazing progressions and a vocal delivery WKDW FRPHV RII D ELW RGG DW ÀUVW EXW by the 3rd song you’re just so into it and it becomes the best part of the whole package...best hidden track of the year so far...see these Hoosiers live...and don’t fuck with Sal!!!! And seriously EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is the fucking best!!!! TERROR ONE WITH THE UNDERDOGS TRUST KILL RECORDS www.trustkill.com Everyone knows Terror, featuring the vocals of Scott Vogel and the guitar work of Todd Jones, this record is solid, the riffs are straight up, with the right blend of raw energy and a strong message, live is where this band is at its best, pick this up and go to their show THE KISS OF DEATH S/T TIBUNAL RECORDS www.tribunalrecords.com Featuring members of Turmoil John Gula and Jeff Hydro, one would easily expect their new band to be a hardcore band around the lines of turmoil, which wouldn’t be a bad thing, but what we have here instead is one of the years most refreshing stoner, doom sludge release that has come across my hands in a long ass times, the kiss of death will fucking slay you to waste. This 5 songs EP is packed of some of the most punishing riffs to be put to tape in a long ass time, the vocals are delivered in hardcore/metalcore way that gives all the songs an urgency and a feel of constant fucking danger, can’t wait for their full length, fans of Crowbar, Soilent Green and Sleep Pick this shit up. There is not one single weak moment on this 25 minutes plus EP.

CHEAP SEX HEADED FOR A BREAKDOWN PUNK CORE RECORDS www.punkcore.com Socially political conscious Punk rock, delivered with angst, don’t let the name fool you, Great songs about various subjects that we could all relate too. Featuring Mike Virus on vocals ACTION S-T PUNK CORE RECORDS www.punkcore.com This Ontario based band has literally blown me away, fuck! Me who thought the only good thing out of Scarborough was maestro and the hookers on Kennedy blvd..... this record came like a slap in the face... IXFNLQJ WLJKW EHDWV LQà XHQFHG SXQN rock...fans of discharge Wolfbrigade/ Wolfpac Warcry, Varukers, should give this a listen...interview coming in next issue DEFIANCE RISE OR FALL PUNK CORE RECORDS www.punkcore.com Portland is the birth place of many DPD]LQJ EDQGV 'HÀDQFH KDYH EHHQ at it for a couple of years now and its great to see them at it again, I’ve never been a fan of the band but I’m glad that they are still putting out record, fans of the band should pick this up.

guys are fucking on, so much raw fucking rock, the vocals are delivered with fucking cojones, this band is a fucking monster, the DVD is a great bonus with live performances and some behind the scene and the PDNLQJ RI WKHLU YLGHR GHĂ€QLWHO\ D band worth the hype.

DVD REVIEWS BILLY TALENT SCANDALOUS TRAVELLER WARNER DVD www.warner.com This is a glimpse into what makes this Canadian pop band tick, the behind the scenes interview are pretty fun, the band comes off as a genuine bunch of dudes... the live segment left me a bit if not very disappointed, the performances were lack luster... weird for a band that tours so much YEAH RIGHT A GIRL SKATEBOARD COMPANY MOVIE A girl skateboard company movie. Directed by Spike Jonze This is one of the best skate videos out right now, featuring tons of new comers and some old school guys like Mckrank and Koston *shit I cant believe Koston is considered

old*amongst others, all of them have a feature focusing on their tricks, the interviews are kept to a minimum, a couple of funny skits make this DVD à RZ UHDOO\ QLFH WKH LQYLVLEOH GHFN VHVsion is fucking dope. Pick this up. JAY Z VS. LINKIN PARK WARNER DVD www.warnermusic.com Linkin Park and Jay Z.... this is simply amazing, its like they took the rap styling of Jizza and mixed it up, no wait, mashed it up with the musical genius of Linkin Park...8th wonder of the world right here motherfuckers, this is like the equivalent of giant step in the jazz world, or led zeppelin one, fuck that, its the dark side of the moon of our generation...brush your shoulders off.... more like stop sucking each other off. JET FAMILY STYLE WARNER DVD www.warnermusic.com This is about as Rock & Roll as NSYNC. And if I have to hear that fucking Ipod song again... Australia gave us AC/DC so I’m always going to be cool with the poofs from down under, but this shit has got to stop... I’m sure Australia has some great rock band, JET is not one.

R.P.G. FULLTIME + DVD WWW.ARCLIGHT.COM One year after the original release of this records comes a re-release with an added DVD. On upstart label arc light records, First the music, these

DEATH THREAT NOW HERE FAST TRIPLE CROWN RECORDS www.triplecrownrecords.com Death Threat played their last show a couple of weeks ago, and its really too bad, a great band who put on really fun shows, this CD is packed of solid straight up no frills hardcore and has some sweet show footage in the ROM section of the CD. DORO CLASSIC DIAMONDS W/THE CLASSICAL NIGHT ORCHESTRA www.AFMRECORDS.com Holy shit, remember when Doro was ÀJKWLQJ GUDJRQV LQ VWLOHWWR KHHOV man those were the days, unfortuQDWHO\ 'RUR LV QRW ÀJKWLQJ GUDJRQV here she’s singing along with an Orchestra...what is it with metal bands and orchestras? Shit is fucking wack!!!

 MOTEL  21

ALABAMa thunder  PUSSY By  Erik  Larson

FALL 2004. IT’S BEEN 4 YEARS, 3 ALBUMS, 2 RECORD LABELS, 2 GUITARISTS, 3 BASSISTS, 2 SINGERS AND COUNTLESS ALCOHOLIC DRINKS SINCE ALABAMA THUNDERPUSSY DID A PROPER EUROPEAN TOUR. FOR MONTHS PRIOR TO LEAVING I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOLKS, DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS, DIFFERENT CULTURAL ATTITUDES, DIFFERENT LANGUAGES! BUT ENOUGH ABOUT TOURING THE USA, I WAS GOING TO EUROPE! 7KH ELJJHVW GLIĂ€FXOW\ $73 KDG LQ JHWWLQJ EDFN to Europe had been a reliable booking agent. ,WŇ‹V NLQG RI OLNH Ă€QGLQJ WKH ULJKW EDE\VLWWHU <RX want references; did he spend the whole tour talking to other agents on the phone while Bongzilla got themselves into trouble? Would he be one of those agents that the label trusted to leave him alone with the band only to have horrifying video of him getting ATP drunk!! Oh dear lord!! Who was this guy?!!! That guy was Xavier Benoit. ATP had been burned before by agents, so we made sure to check w/as many folks as possible before entrusting the 6 of us to this mysterious Belgian. You see, for any band I’d imagine, when you tour overseas it’s like vacation and Saturday detention all rolled into one big smelly drunken hungry sleep deprived gas station baguette. Once you’re there, you’re trapped. There’s no saying “fuck this bullshitâ€? and getting on the nearest greyhound, leaving WKH GULYLQJ WR WKHP DV \RX VLS RQ WKH Ă DVN \RX took w/you “just in caseâ€? till you’re comfortably on your own toilet. Oh no my friends!! You’re in it till the party is long over and there ain’t no going home till the job is done and everyone LV VXIĂ€FLHQWO\ GUXQNHQ DQG URFNHG WKH IXFN RXW Months of prep went into getting there. There’s the gear to rent, gear to bring, shirts to make, merch to smuggle, supplies to buy here (strings/ sticks/chords), supplies to buy there (tobacco/ booze/bud/clean socks), travel arrangements to make. It’s a day-to-day preparation. I thought ZHŇ‹G QHYHU JHW LW DOO VRUWHG DQG Ă€QDOO\ JHW RQ

22 Â MOTEL

that plane. And then of course there’s John Peters. Yes John Peters, ATP bass player extraordinaire! The man himself. You see, when ATP goes overseas it’s kind of like an episode of the A-team. What I mean is Peters is our B.A. %DUDFXV +HŇ‹V WHUULĂ€HG WR Ă \ +H VWDUWV WR OHW \RX know about it the day you tell him about going. He’ll pace back and forth across the room chewing his hands with his eyes bugging out. And of course all the guys have to start telling stories about horrible, horrible plane disasters. This only stresses him out further in which case he starts to whimper under his breathe and says something like “uh, man, uh, I’ll see y’all laterâ€? as he exits the room half swallowing his Ă€VW 3HWHUV QHHGV WR EH PHGLFDWHG WR Ă \ 7KHUHŇ‹V nothing wrong with that, a lot of people are terULĂ€HG WR Ă \ EXW -RKQ LV DEVROXWHO\ SHWULĂ€HG 6R I had to make sure I hooked the man up w/ a little something extra to help him relax, or if I’m OXFN\ VOHHS WKH ZKROH Ă LJKW :H ZHUH WR Ă \ RXW on a Monday morning so we left Richmond with the little bit of gear we were to bring, everything else to be rented (and broken) in Europe. We stopped and got some beer on the way up so we could get into practice for our next months endeavors. Peters was already in the zone. My man would not shut up. He asked every question nervously 7 times. He couldn’t sit still. He JQDZHG RII DOO KLV Ă€QJHUQDLOV DQG WKHQ DVNHG all the questions 9 more times. If I had a dollar for every time I or someone else told him to shut up and sit down, well....I wouldn’t have

to worry about money for a while. We crashed out around mid-night since we were to be up at 6:00am. The whirlwind was just beginning. Day 1- I really don’t remember too much about the Ă LJKW RYHU 'UDQN D EXQFK RI EHHU DQG KDG D little helper, so I was pretty much out the whole way. I’m told that was a good thing since Peters was roaming the aisles babbling nonsense, spilling drinks, and generally being a tweaker. Customs was a breeze, so out we came into Brussels airport and met up w/Xavier. He didn’t look as I thought he would. We were greeted by a 6’3â€?ish kind of scruffy dude who looked as if he’d been working in the salt mines for the last PRQWK DQG KDG MXVW VHHQ WKH VXQ IRU WKH Ă€UVW time. In all fairness, it was early in the morning and he had been booking the ATP tour so he didn’t look all that rough considering. Anyhow, we got into his van and with our gear rode to his house in Gent. We had the day off to recover so Xavier took us to a hotel to crash out. We drank a few beers purchased out of the vending machines and hung out in front at the picnic tables. Bryan practiced his French with some dude from Mauritius (a really small island off the coast of Madagascar.) He invited us to come there to play some day. Now wouldn’t that be a trip telling the family as they ask why I’m still fooling around with this music thing, “hey we’re big in Mauritius!â€?

2004

EUROPEAN DIARY All the beer somehow managed to disappear, so Johnny Weills and I decided we needed some bourbon. Somewhere we had heard about a karaoke night down the road, and you know how Johnny loves karaoke. Ok, maybe he doesn’t, doesn’t matter. Point is we were on D PLVVLRQ WR Ă€QG ERXUERQ %U\DQ DQG RWKHUV walked halfway w/us, with the guy from Mauritius in tow, but went off on their own mission. We didn’t go very far till we found a little bar. Alas, no bourbon, so we hung around w/ Johnny walker for a few rounds and then moved on! Somehow we found the place. It could’ve been our innate sense of direction. All those years training our olfactory senses to detect the slightest hint of bourbon were paying off. Or perhaps it was because it seemed to be the only bar left open. Nope, none of the above. I believe what led us straight to the bastion of amateur genius was none other than the singing Asian. When I say singing, I really mean “singingâ€?. This dude was butchering every song in his path. He rolled his l into r just like that scene in “A Christmas storyâ€? when the family goes out to the Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was hilarious and sad all rolled up in a bizarre Johnny Walker haze. I sort of remember trying to get Mr. Weills to sing something. And I think we were ejected from the bar because I was openly making fun of the poor Asian man who was really feeling some Phil Collins that night. Su Su Sueeeeooooo!! At DQ\ UDWH ZH ZHUH Ă€OOHG DGHTXDWHO\ RQ -RKQQ\ Walker, so we staggered back to our sleep over shack and passed the fuck out. ATP 2004 fall tour continues next issue piratesrecords.com

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