Tribute: Remembering Don Cone

Paying Tribute to a Quintessential Good Neighbor

by Todd Cone

Don Cone, adoring husband, intentional father, and consummate “neighbor” in the Bartlesville Community, left us on August 23, 2020. A friend consoled, “What a gigantic loss to your family as well as our city. Your dad was such an important contributor to the fabric of our community, the last of a generation that truly invests in community.”

Reflecting on God’s admonition to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received,” I believe Dad’s calling was to love Jesus and love others — he was a huge success at both.

Dad loved Jesus. He was an active member of First Baptist Church, serving as a deacon, training union leader, Sunday school director, and leading music in Bartlesville and Dewey. Jesus was also at the center of everything he did and part of our conversations, our home, and our lives. Another friend reflected, “He was a remarkable man who walked in the love of Christ.”

Dad loved my mom. It’s one thing to maintain a public persona of love for your wife, but you can’t fake it at home with your kids watching 24/7. Dad treated Mom like a very special lady. In Don and Carol Ann’s almost 55 years of marriage, I never heard Dad raise his voice at Mom even once. They had disagreements, but he was always respectful, devoted, and even doting. And he expected his kids to treat mom in the same way, with respect and love.

Dad loved his kids. He loved us by loving our mom, making us feel safe, and providing. Most of all he loved us by spending enormous amounts of time with us. Dad wanted us home for family dinners, which started with prayer and usually ended with one of us, including Dad, being sent away from the table by Mom for laughing too much or being silly. Dad was at our ball games, piano and dance performances, school activities, everything. Whether helping with a paper route or taking us on trips, Dad spent time with us.

Dad loved his neighbors. A familiar verse for us suggests, “The entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” When Jesus was pressed, “and who is my neighbor?” He answered, anyone who needs mercy is our neighbor. Jesus had a very broad definition of neighbor.

Dad’s definition was extraordinarily broad. And, he clearly loved his neighbors — not merely with words, but with actions. We don’t recall Dad saying “no” when asked to help. “I think I can do that” or “I’d be glad to” were standard responses. Dad, a military veteran, never hesitated tohelp others, lending his truck, helping paint, mowing lawns, volunteering at Sooner Junior, Red Cross, or Frank Phillips Mansion or Woolaroc, serving meals, driving people for OK Mozart, working Freedom Fest, ushering at the community center, volunteering with Jaycees and Kiwanis, serving as president of Bartlesville Little League, or taking “neighbors” to doctor appointments. He donated 15 gallons of blood to the Red Cross.

Dad might be the most volunteering person I’ve ever known.

One friend wrote: “We shall miss his charm, wit, and character. He leaves a great legacy in his family and the organizations he helped build and hold together for several decades.”

Dad’s reach was not limited to Bartlesville. A Swiss friend from dad and mom’s travels wrote:

We knew about his volunteering and his proudness about his family. To us Don was a very special person, a real gentleman . . . Don was American as apple pie.

My dad was an amazing example of loving Jesus, loving family, and loving others. His shoes are probably too big to fill, but, as Mr. Rogers did every day, I’ll try putting on one shoe at a time.

Well done Dad.

I hope you are proud of yourself for the times you’ve said ‘yes,’ when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful to somebody else.

— Mr. Rogers.