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MAY 2021

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WHAT’S INSIDE

what’s inside...

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Upfront

Profile: Polly Wilson

12 24

Feature: Why We Remember Monuments Help Us Remember Our Fallen Soldiers Feature Sponsor Story: Ray Holman Remembering a Former WWII Prisoner of War

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67 71 73

On the Osage: Caliber and Character Hominy’s Cha’ Tullis an Icon in His Community

Once Upon a Time: We Had It All . . .

Community: JoAnn’s Oasis

Unmissable Events: Antiques & More

From The Heart: Not By Chance You Never Know What Someone is Going Through

Business Spotlight: United Legacy

Knowing Nowata: Remembering Those Lost

Living A Dream: Dreams Do Come True

A Good Word: Be Kind

Stars In Our Back Yard: Karl Patrick Krause

Spotlight: Spiffy Bins Aiming to Please

Kids’ Calendar

Chick-fil-A Events Calendar

GraceFest: Rhett Walker Headlines Concert

A Fresh Perspective: Our First Heaven Remembering Childhood Thoughts of the Afterlife

Looking Back: 2nd Oldest Toy in the World

Now You Know: A Moment for Pause

Helping Hands: Lions Club

Tribute: Kyle Davis Deputy Lived Life of Service to Family, Community

Funny You Should Ask: The Not So Secret Life of a Writer

Acts of Patriotism: Doing it for the Troops Boy Scout Troop 6 Adorning Veterans’ Graves

Business: Regent Bank

Out & About: Photos from Around Town

Summer Fun: A Line-Up of Fun

Let Freedom Ring: Memorial Day Beginnings MAY 2021

bmonthly | MAY 2021

UPFRONT

upfront Hello friends, and welcome to May. Wow ... can you believe we are almost halfway through 2021?! The year has just flown by, and what a year it has already been! In May of 2017, I wrote my very first Upfront for bmonthly magazine with barely 300 hundred words. This month will be my 48th Upfront! Over the last 4 years, writing the Upfront has been one of my favorite things to do for the magazine. You get to know Christy and I, and our lives that we live just as you do. I always want you to know that we are no different than you are ... we have kid issues, money issues, and just life issues that sometimes hit you square in the face. It's our way for you to know who we are, our beliefs, our failures, and most importantly our love for each other, this city, and her people. A few years ago we started having a theme for almost every month of the magazine. Our May issue is, and will always be, our Memorial Day issue. I can honestly say this issue has stretched me in my creativity, my patience, and my belief in myself. The Enemy this month has attacked me on all fronts of my life and my spiritual walk. I spend days creating the cover in my head and literally looking at thousands of pictures to come up with the cover and feature story layout. I want the cover to bring you in, so you will open this magazine and won't want to put it down. It is past midnight on Thursday, April 22nd and Christy and Grace are asleep as I write this Upfront. I always wait until the very last night before we go to print to write the Upfront, so I can have the very latest information to put in here. Arlington. There are very few places in the world that are as beautiful and sacred as this place. Over this last week, I have looked at more than 1,000 pictures of this national treasure, and have wept for the men and women who gave it all for this country and our freedoms. There are thousands and thousands of young men who are buried in Arlington Cemetery who were 18, 19, 20 years old with their whole life in front of

them, but now they rest in this hallowed ground. Sarah Gagan wrote the feature story in this issue last year, but if you remember last May we were right in the middle of the pandemic. At the time, the Bartlesville School District made the decision to not have graduation, so Christy and I decided to put all the senior pictures in our magazine. We wanted the seniors to have that issue as something to carry with them and look back on in the years ahead. I have not been to Arlington, but it is on my short bucket list to visit. I want to see the rolling hills of white granite stones rising from the ground to let us all know that their sacrifice was not in vain. Christy and I are so excited about GraceFest on the Green, which will be on Saturday, May 8th. It is our first concert to put together. We have spent the last eight months planning this concert for you. We have Rhett Walker, Cochran and Co., and our very own NewKings Band set to perform. We also have Caleb Gordan, who will give an inspirational message. It is the first concert on the Green this year, and we will have food trucks and all kinds of family activities. All the proceeds from the concert will go to The Journey Home. We can't wait to see you there!

Volume XII Issue V Bartlesville Monthly Magazine is published by

ENGEL PUBLISHING

Offices located in Downtown Bartlesville in the historic Price Tower 510 Dewey Ave, Suite 400, Bartlesville, OK 74003 P.O. Box 603, Bartlesville, OK 74005

www.bartlesvillemonthly.com facebook.com/bartlesvillemonthly Publisher

Brian Engel brian@bartlesvillemonthly.com Art Direction

Copper Cup Images design@coppercupimages.com Director of Sales & Marketing

Keith McPhail keith@bartlesvillemonthly.com Community Liaison

Christy McPhail christy@bartlesvillemonthly.com Project Manager

Andrea Whitchurch andrea@bartlesvillemonthly.com Administration

Shelley Greene Stewart Delivery and Distribution

Julie Drake Calendar/Social Media

calendar@bartlesvillemonthly.com

This issue has been a huge challenge for us over the last few weeks. It has stretched me emotionally and physically with little to no sleep the last few days. However, it reminds me of how blessed I am that I get to work every day with Christy and the incredible people that we have become friends with because of the magazine. Every month we get to share with you and our thousands and thousands of readers our incredible city, her people, and the history that has made Bartlesville a one-ofa-kind place to live. It has been a crazy four years for us since that May issue of 2017, but one thing is for sure ... Christy and I sincerely want to thank you for allowing us to come into your home and be a part of your family every month with this magazine. We are truly humbled and blessed that we get to brag about the Best Little City in America ... Bartlesville.

bmonthly managing editors Keith & Christy McPhail.

Contributing Writers Debbie Neece, Kay Little, Jay Webster, Tim Hudson, Lori Kroh, Brent Taylor, Kelly Bland, Rita Thurman Barnes , Keith McPhail, Jay Hastings, Sarah Leslie Gagan, Maria Gus, Carroll Craun, Joe Colaw, Lori Just, Bob Fraser, Joe Todd, Denise McKinnon, Mike Wilt, Evelyn Hightower, Kloma Laws Contributing Photographers Nowata County Historical Society Museum, Becky Burch, Jen May Photography, Jessica Smith, Bartlesville Area History Museum Kids Calendar

Jessica Smith

ABOUT THE COVER Arlington National Cemetery is our nation’s most hallowed ground. Creative Concept by Keith and Christy McPhail Design by Copper Cup Images

God Bless, Keith & Christy MAY 2021 | bmonthly

bmonthly | MAY 2021

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PROFILE

Polly Wilson Spending a Lifetime Making Magical Things Happen by Sarah Leslie Gagan Sometimes in life, if you’re lucky, you encounter a person with a life story that shines bright as the prairie sky at night. A life with so many glittering points of light that it somehow engulfs the surrounding darkness. Polly Wilson is such a person. She is a bright star among us, lighting up the Bartlesville sky. A native Kansan by birth, Polly spent her childhood growing up between Wichita, Kansas and Gunnison, Colorado. After graduating from The University of Kansas, Polly and two friends decided to spend the summer in Los Angeles, California. That summer visit turned into several years and Polly began a career in the retail industry, covering all facets from buyer, operations, to human resources. She loved the city life and everything about it. Her parents lived in Gunnison, Colorado when her dad called and suggested that she apply for an open position as the Manager of the Gunnison Chamber of Commerce. Polly applied and was hired. The move to Gunnison

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and new job all led her to meet the man who would become her husband, Johnny Wilson, a 5th generation cattle rancher. Together they made their home in Gunnison for 22 years. Polly continued to advance her education, and began a 10-year career as a psychotherapist. She loved this special time in her life and felt so blessed to help others in that way. It was also during this time that her business, Barn Dandys, was born. Polly recalls how it began in this excerpt from a February 2008 interview with Country Living Magazine:

Polly’s son and his family.

“I was a psychotherapist in private practice, and I specialized in adults with childhood trauma. I had a friend who was an artist, and we found all this old furniture on the ranch property. She painted it and we sold it. We also found vintage textiles in the barn, basement, and attic, and we used the fabric to make pillows, and that's how it all started. At first I had Barn Dandys and my psychotherapy clients, but then a rep in New York

PROFILE contacted us. We decided to do a trade show and began to get recognition. My friend and partner decided she didn't want to continue, but it was a fun artistic outlet for me. And I find children amazing. Kids today need to be free to be themselves, and I want to be able to help them do that. I always had the philosophy that if you do the next right thing, everything will fall into line. But when it comes to business, that isn't always true. Things happen and you have to learn to flow with that. I never set out to do this, but it's more fulfilling than anything I've ever done. It's been a joyous ride all the way through.” Barn Dandys grew and Polly’s products were sold by upscale, urban retailers such as FAO Schwartz, Harrods of London, Room Service in Dallas, and T.A. Lorton in Tulsa. She was also named one of Country Living’s Top Female Entrepreneurs in March 2008. The tag line for Barn Dandys was “When you think like a child, magical things happen.” In 2001, the Wilson’s sold their ranch in Gunnison and moved to Skiatook, Oklahoma. After three years, they settled permanently on a ranch in Nowata. Polly still operated Barn Dandys and together, Polly and Johnny began the two-year process of renovating the original historic 1930’s stone ranch house on the Nowata property. Once complete, the spectacular home was featured in Country Living Magazine. Polly continued operating Barn Dandys, ultimately closing the business when Johnny became ill in 2013. In January 2015, Polly lost her life’s anchor when her husband of more than three decades passed away. The Wilson’s have one son, Corb, who is the 6th generation born in Gunnison, and currently carries on the ranching traditions of his father and ancestors as he manages the Nowata ranch and raises his family. Polly was at a New York trade show with Barn Dandys when she met her best friend, Margaret Josephs. The two just clicked and became fast friends. It was her friendship with Margaret, who stars on the BRAVO series The Real Housewives of New Jersey, that brought a bit of fame to Oklahoma when the series filmed two episodes at Polly’s ranch in 2018. The housewives and 40 crew members descended on the ranch to get a taste of Oklahoma living. It was a unique, fun, opportunity for Polly and for the Nowata and Bartlesville area. Perhaps one key to Polly’s success in life is always saying “yes” to an opportunity. Her natural curiosity and people-focused outlook fuels everything she does, and has allowed her to merge the city girl seamlessly with the country girl. Her current position of Director of Operations at The Inn at Price Tower allows Polly to use the best of her experiences to bring outstanding hospitality to all guests of The Price Tower. Polly loves everything about her “second career” at the Price Tower, with all its diverse elements. She values every team member as they work together to bring the very best to the community. She is honored to be a part of sharing this gem with the world.

During the daunting grieving years following Johnny’s death, Polly felt she was given the gift of getting to know “the most special of the special” people in Bartlesville, as she became involved in the fundraising for The Journey Home, a local home that provides free compassionate care for those at the end of life. Her involvement with fundraising would lead to her current seat on the board of The Journey Home, a position which is near and dear to her heart. When weighing all the cherished moments and outstanding accomplishments of Polly’s life, it’s clear that above all, her three grandsons are her greatest legacy. Polly recalls her deep, lasting love with her own grandmother, and prays that her grandchildren will remember her with the same fondness. She does whatever it takes to make lasting memories with them, instilling her values and love of life, wanting them to remember her zest for adventure and fearless love whenever they recall the way she smelled, moved, spoke, and the everlasting twinkle in her eye when she looked at them. Raising and nurturing her family is Polly’s greatest investment and source of fulfillment.

Polly & The Real Housewives of New Jersey on her ranch.

Between The Price Tower, The Journey home, her Nowata Ranch and returning to her city roots by living in downtown Tulsa, Polly has created a universe of support surrounding her. She is humbly grateful for her life and its many wonderful opportunities and experiences. We are fortunate to have her childlike spirit shine bright among us, sharing her wonder with our corner of the Oklahoma prairie.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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Why We Remember Monuments Help Us Remember Our Fallen Soldiers by Sarah Leslie Gagan Monuments are built to remind the future of something that people in the present consider too important to forget. They are left to tell a story that something or someone significant existed here. As they mark a point in history worth remembering, be it times of sun or times of shadow, monuments submit their facts to a candid world. It’s difficult to remain unemotional about our history of war, and the reasons that cause them. Pain pulls at the heart of every sane person when they realize the bloody cost of freedom. Sometimes, war monuments were left to tangibly remind us the price paid in souls. Other times, they simply remind us, “We hold these 12

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truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Robert and Mary Lee The grand, Greek-revival-style, columned mansion sat on the wooded hillside of Alexandria, Virginia, on the south bank of the Potomac. The 1,100-acre plantation in Arlington County had a stunning view of the District of Columbia, just across the river. The property held significant heritage of the generation that fought and won the American Revolution and built the federal city that

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lay before it. Throughout the years, from the time it was built in 1818, the home was warm and gracious, full of children, and welcoming to visitors, kinfolk, and friends. By 1857, time had taken a toll. Children grew up and left home, people died, age and infirmity arrived. Soon, an aging, arthritic woman was left to manage her late father’s plantation estate, often alone, while her husband was elsewhere handling his U.S. Army duties. It was then when Robert E. Lee decided he must take leave from his assigned post in San Antonio, Texas, to be available to assist his wife, Mary Custis Lee, in management of the inherited estate. The Arlington plantation was built by George Washington Parke Custis, the grandson of the widowed Martha Washington, who was adopted by Martha’s second husband George Washington, America’s first president. Custis built the Arlington House on the land inherited from his natural father, to honor his adopted father George Washington, whom he dearly loved. Upon the death of Custis in 1857, his will stated all of the slaves residing there were to be freed within five years, and ownership of the estate passed to his only child, Mary, who had lived at the home since childhood, and where she and her husband, Robert, raised their seven children.

GEORGE WASHINGTON PARKE CUSTIS MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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Mary confided in a friend the dread she had for her husband to see her deterioration. She had great difficulty walking without assistance, was in constant pain, and had lost use of her right arm and hand. Lee, once a superintendent of West Point Military Academy, was taken aback at his wife’s weakened condition and extended his leave indefinitely to run the farm. He was, however, able to perform Army duties as needed in nearby Washington.

ROBERT E. LEE 14

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Under Robert’s leadership, Arlington thrived and the house became busy once again. In the halls of D.C., talks regarding slavery and states’ rights took center stage, and Lee was called to resume Army duty in Texas. Mary was once again managing Arlington alone, all the while taking notice of the

unfolding events in Washington. It was on Monday, January 21, 1861 when five southern state senators, including Jefferson Davis, announced before a packed audience that their states had seceded. A few weeks later, Mary Custis Lee wrote a letter to her daughter, Mildred, stating, “The papers are filled with Mr. Lincoln’s arrival in Washington and this week will, I presume, decide our fate as a nation.” Shortly after, Texas seceded, and Robert was ordered to return to Washington and report to General Winfield Scott. It was March 1, 1861 when Lee returned to Arlington and was faced with a huge personal decision. Mary later wrote, “When my husband was summoned to Washington, every motive

MARY CUSTIS LEE

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and argument was used to induce him to accept command of the Army destined to invade the South. He resisted them all, even the sad parting voice of his old commander, Winfield Scott.” Lee declined the offer to command the federal army charged with reclaiming the South. He said, “Though opposed to secession and deprecating war, I could take no part in an invasion of the Southern States.”

expressed his feelings to General Scott. An excerpt from Lee’s letter to the General detailed his deep struggle with his decision,

Lee’s heartfelt sadness deepened when he learned that his lifetime home state of Virginia would be voting on whether to secede the Union and join the South. It was April 19, 1861 when Lee was notified that the vote passed overwhelmingly. Lee was very troubled at the news and went upstairs to his bedroom. In the sitting room below, Mary heard the creaking of the floorboards as Robert paced the floor above. She even heard a thud as he fell to his knees in prayer. She herself could do nothing else but pray as tension permeated the house on the hill. It was after midnight when Lee came down the stairs with two letters in hand, showing them to Mary. In one letter, he resigned his commission to the Unites States Army, and in the other he GENERAL WINFIELD SCOTT MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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It would have been presented at once, but for the struggle it has cost me to separate myself from a service to which I have devoted all the best years of my life and all the ability I possessed.

During the whole of that time, more than 30 years, I have experienced nothing but kindness from my superiors, and the most cordial friendship from my companions. To no one General, have I been as much indebted as to yourself for uniform kindness and consideration, and it has always been my ardent desire to merit your approbation. I shall carry with me to the grave the most grateful recollections of your kind consideration and your name and your fame will always be dear to me. Save in the defense of my native State, I never again desire to draw my sword. Be pleased to accept my most earnest wishes for the continuance of your happiness and prosperity and believe me most truly yours, R.E. Lee Later, Mary would write, “My husband has wept tears of blood over this terrible war, but as a man of honor, and a Virginian, he

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must follow the destiny of his State. It was the severest struggle of his life, to resign a commission he had held for 30 years.” The conflict between North and South trapped Lee between his loyalties to the Union and allegiance to his family, his neighbors, and his home in Virginia, where the Lee family had shaped history since 1641. Lee’s biographer, Douglass Southall Freeman wrote, “All the Lees had been Americans, but they had been Virginians first.”

moned to Richmond by the governor. He left Alexandria by train Monday morning and accepted command of Virginia’s military and naval forces with the rank of Major General.

At the time of his resignation, a friend asked Lee if he was feeling well. Lee replied, “Well in body but not in mind. In the prime of life, I quit a service in which were all my hopes and expectations in this world.” He was anguished over the decision he felt no other option but to make. Mary expressed her clear feelings in a letter to her daughter, Mildred, “As I think both parties are wrong in the fratricidal war, there is nothing comforting even in hoping that God may prosper the right, for I see no right in the matter.” The following Sunday was the last night Robert E. Lee would spend at Arlington, sumMAY 2021 | bmonthly

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Both Robert and Mary knew their beloved Arlington home estate would be captured by the Union forces, but they had no idea what the outcome would be. It’s certain that they never foresaw their home becoming first a Union cemetery, and later the hallowed ground of Arlington National Cemetery. When Mary fled Arlington House at the start of the Civil War, she gave her personal slave, Selina Norris Gray, the keys to the mansion and responsibility for the grand house the Lees had lived in for decades. When the Union Army took over Arlington on May 24, 1861, Gray is famously credited with saving numerous heirlooms such as china, furniture, and artwork belonging to George Washington that were stored in the house. Gray was freed in December 1862, according to the will of Custis. Her family bought land near Arlington and grew and sold vegetables. She died in 1907, remembered as a hero for her bravery in saving irreplaceable belongings of our nation’s first president.

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Arlington House is the nation’s memorial to Robert E. Lee. It honors him for his role in promoting peace and reunion after the Civil War. In a larger sense, it exists as a place of study and contemplation of the meaning of some of the most difficult aspects of American History: military service, sacrifice, citizenship, duty, loyalty, slavery, and freedom. It stands to remind us of a dark and tumultuous time in our nation’s history, a time of great disunion, and beckons us to not repeat the past. After Robert E. Lee surrendered at Appomattox courthouse on April 9, 1865, the general was pardoned by President Lincoln. Unable to return to his estate in Arlington because the cemetery transformation had begun, Lee and his family moved to Lexington, Virginia, where he became the president of Washington College. It is believed that he accepted this low-profile post, which paid only $1,500 a year, because he felt it unseemly to profit after such a bloody and divisive conflict. Perhaps the greatest and darkest

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conflict resided within Lee’s own heart in his remaining years following the Civil War. In 1865, Lee humbled himself and signed an amnesty oath, asking once again to become a citizen of the United States. He did so in hopes to encourage other confederate soldiers to rejoin the United States and once again move toward those three unalienable rights named in the Declaration of Independence — Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness for all people.

Arlington National Cemetery holds over 400,000 reasons, beneath bone white grave markers, why we must remember the cost of our liberty, and the cost that was paid for our freedom. No other nation puts forth effort like the United States to recover and pay tribute to its war dead. Thousands of Arlington graves are a result of the Civil War, a national trauma so extensive that even

Lee's desire to again become an American citizen was never realized in his lifetime. His oath of allegiance was misplaced, and he was still considered a guest in his own country when he died of heart failure on October 12, 1870. Lee's oath was discovered 100 years later in the National Archives. On August 5, 1975, at a ceremony at Arlington House, President Gerald Ford posthumously restored Lee’s citizenship. He is buried on the grounds of the former Washington College, now known as Washington and Lee University, in Lexington. The Robert E. Lee Memorial stands to tell a story of how one man’s momentous decision impacted history. The monument stands not to be worshipped or praised, it stands to remind us of our history — good, bad, and ugly. May we never forget the lives lost. May we always weigh our decisions carefully, ever conscious of our impact upon the lives and livelihood of others.

SELINA NORRIS GRAY, RIGHT.

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five years after Appomattox, recovery teams were still combing old battlefields around Washington to find, identify and reinter the thousands of casualties from both sides. The United States has slowly and methodically developed expertise in treating those who lost their lives in battle with exquisite care. Arlington is at the heart of that effort. Arlington is the only national cemetery to hold servicemembers from every war in U.S. history. Even though the first military burial at Arlington National Cemetery occurred in 1864, the burial ground holds the remains of those who fought in every war since the American Revolution. In 1892, soldiers killed in the Revolutionary War were reinterred from a Georgetown cemetery, as well as casualties from the War of 1812. We pause to remember courageous military members of our local community who are interred at Arlington National Cemetery following their service to our nation. Private Walter Brown was born on June 30th, 1888 in Caswell Illinois before relocating to Bartlesville. He joined the US Army on June 27, 1918 and served in the 355th Infantry, 89th Division. He became ill within three months, dying in camp of pneumonia on October 3, 1918. He is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

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Albert Frank Coast, of Ramona, was born February 8, 1933. He graduated high school in Ramona in 1951. Albert was a 1955 graduate of OSU and received a law degree from LaSalle University. In civilian life, he was employed by the Oklahoma Highway Department in Nowata. Albert enlisted in the Army in November 1955 and served in Europe and Korea and finally Vietnam. He was one of the highest-ranking Oklahomans at the time of his death, as the commander of the 4th Battalion, 3rd Infantry, 25th Division. Albert was killed in action on April 20, 1971 in Binh Duong Province, leaving behind his wife, Murrel, and sons, David 14, and Daniel 11. Lt. Col Albert Coast is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Private First Class Carl Manning was born in Oklahoma in 1892. He joined the Army on February 24, 1918 as part of the 359th Infantry, 90th Division. He fell ill with pneumonia and died in camp on October 11, 1918. He rests at Arlington National Cemetery. Private William D. Maxey was born in Kansas in 1891 before moving to Vera, Oklahoma. He joined the US Army September 19, 1917 as part of the 59th Infantry, 4th Division. He was killed in action, succumbing to his wounds in France. He is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

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Private Alvin L. Rooms was born in 1890 in Missouri. As a resident of Bartlesville, Rooms joined the Army on May 25, 1918. He was stationed at the 17th Evacuation Hospital when he died of pneumonia in camp on October 20, 1918. He is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Dora Aldene Stark was born on a farm in Pleasanton Kansas on February 1, 1922. She attended nursing school at St. Johns Hospital in Tulsa, graduating in 1943. Dora joined the Navy Nurse Corps in March 1944, serving at various Navy hospitals in California until her discharge in June 1946. She soon married Christopher Stark and together, the couple made Bartlesville their home. Upon her death on September 17, 2008, Dora was buried at Arlington National Cemetery. After seizing Lee’s estate, the federal government created a community for emancipated, freed, and fugitive slaves on the former plantation. Freedman’s Village included farmland, homes, a hospital, a school, and a mess hall before closing in 1900. African Americans who lived at the village were buried on the property, and their graves were incorporated into Section 27 of Arlington National Cemetery, where nearly 4,000 freed slaves are buried. As Americans, every one of us is surrounded with reasons to remember why we are free. Veterans remain alive as long as we remember their stories.

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“Sad will be the day when the American people forget their traditions and their history, and no longer remember that the country they love, the institutions they cherish, and the freedom they hope to preserve, were born from the throes of armed resistance to tyranny and nursed in the rugged arms of fearless men.” — Roger Sherman, a signer of the Declaration of Independence from Connecticut.

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FEATURE SPONSOR STORY

Ray Holman Remembering a Former WWII Prisoner of War by Joe Todd Ray Holman was born in Bartlesville on April 9th, 1924. He was the son of Robert and Alice (Stone) Holman. He went through the 8th grade at Buck Creek School. He was drafted in 1942 into the United States Army and sent to Camp Wolters, Texas for Basic Training. He said Basic was easy for him because of his work on the family farm. After Basic, he was sent to Fort Benning, Georgia for infantry training and assigned to the 1st Infantry Division. He was then sent to Fort Meade, Maryland, and got on a British ship bound for England. They hit the British beaches to train for the invasion. They were told the invasion was coming, but no one knew when. They went by train to Southampton and everybody was confined and could not leave. They loaded on ships and headed for France in the early morning of June 6, 1944. They were informed they would be in the first wave at Omaha Beach. They arrived off the Normandy coast and the Navy ships were bombing the area where they were to land. Holman knew a lot of the men were not going to make it. They loaded on an LCI landing craft and were headed for the beach when the front of the boat took a direct hit that killed several men. They had to jump over the side of the boat and head for the beach. Holman waded in with his weapon and saw men stepping on land mines and landing craft taking direct hits and the water turned red from the blood. He laid down and was with a group clearing the mines. He said they were on the beach for almost one full day and they were able to clear the German pillboxes and get off the beach. A lot of the men in his unit were killed and he fired at anything that looked like German. 24

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They had the breakout and the Air Force was bombing in front of them. His unit went through several villages. The Germans would let the scouts go in, then open fire and many more of his men were killed. They made it to St. Lo and the town was completely destroyed in the battle. His unit crossed from France into Belgium and the people treated them like royalty. Through all the fighting, his company was down to 65 men when they arrived at Aachen, Germany. They got replacements that were right out of Basic and were scared to death. The Germans attacked and he was captured on October 18, 1944. He was wounded in the back with shrapnel and was taken to a hospital, but the Germans had no medicine and began asking questions about how many tanks and airplanes the Americans had. He refused to answer any questions and said he didn’t know the answers anyway. He kept faith because he knew we were winning the war — it was just a matter of time. He was put on a train with other prisoners and taken to Stalag IIB at Hammerstein, Germany. There was very little food and they were forced to eat rats or anything else they could find. The group he was with received just one Red Cross package in nine months. Holman said the Germans were taking them. The prisoners were put in boxcars on the train packed like sardines and taken to Stalag IID at Stuttgart, Germany, where they were put in with British prisoners. The train was bombed and the prisoners were yelling, “Give it to them!” “We were not worried about being killed, we want the train destroyed,” Holman said in an interview before his death, in 2001. The German commander had a formation every morning and ordered the prisoners to say “Heil Hitler” but they refused. Holman was liberated by the US Army in April 1945. He was taken to Camo Lucky Strike at Le Havre and flown home. According to Holman, he loved this country and would do it all over again.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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MAY 2021 | bmonthly

MAY CALENDAR SPONSORED BY 1

Princess and Princess Breakfast Fundraiser 8 AM; Green Space at Unity Square Come join us for a continental breakfast fundraiser and hear the Princesses and Princes singing and performing, featuring Everett Music students performing! Autographs, stickers, pictures, coloring and more.

Kiddie Park Opens 5 PM; Kiddie Park Tuesday - Thursday: 7-9:30 p.m. Friday - Saturday: 7-10 p.m. Sunday - Monday: Closed

BHS Musical 7 PM; BHS FAC

Family Fun Day 10:30 AM; Frank Phillips Home Join us for our first annual Family Fun Day at the Frank Phillips Home, presented by Arvest Bank! Join us from 10:30 a.m. – 3:30 p.m. for games, inflatables, and much more on our lawn. DJ's Southern Snow, Lil' Bites, and Ryan's Dawgs will have lots of treats to purchase. Games and activities are free! The Home will be open during regular hours for paid tours, as usual, and tickets can be purchased in the gift shop, (tour times are 10 & 11 a.m., and 1, 2, 3, & 4 p.m., $7.50 adults, $6.50 seniors).

OWKU Commencement

6:30 PM; BHS Auditorium

Music on the Lawn 6:30 PM; Frank Phillips Home Enjoy live music on the lawn of the Frank Phillips Home, presented by Truity Credit Union! Music will be provided by Ann-Janette & the Evolution. Pack a picnic, games, and your lawn chairs for this free family event! Food trucks will be available and provided by DJ's Southern Snow and Prairie Fire Grille & Catering Mobile Restaurant.

10:30 AM; Lyon Chapel

Gracefest on the Green presented by bmonthly magazine

All City Percussion Concert 7 PM; BHS FAC

HS Choir Banquet

HS Choir Spring Fling

6 PM; BHS FAC

7 PM; BHS FAC

bmonthly | MAY 2021

5 PM; Green Space at Unity Square Gracefest will feature music by Rhett Walker, Cochren & Co. and NewKings. Caleb Gorden will be the Guest Speaker. Food trucks will be on sight. The House FM will be broadcasting live! Come out and enjoy this years 1st concert at Unity square, 300 SE Adams Blvd. Benefitting the Journey Home and sponsored by DSR, Patriot Auto Group, Regent Bank, Comforting Hands Hospice, and Bartlesville Health & Rehab Community.

BHS NHS Induction Ceremony

OKWU baseball vs St Mary 3 PM; OKWU Baseball Fields

Spring Trail Ride 12 PM; Woolaroc The country retreat of oilman Frank Phillips - Woolaroc is hidden away in the beauty of the rolling Osage Hills. The trail ride covers approximately 15 miles of terrain that is rarely, if ever, seen by the general public. It is common to see buffalo, elk, deer, and longhorn cattle along the trails of Woolaroc. From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. non-riders can enjoy the many Woolaroc attractions, including the Lodge and Museum. The $50 ticket price includes lunch for riders.

Elementary Track Meet All Day; Custer Stadium

56th Annual Delaware Pow Wow All Weekend; Near Copan

BHS Last Day of School

Rhea Lana’s Consignment Sale Times Vary; May 1-8 at Washington Park Mall Shop thousands of items all at once and save 60-90% off retail prices! Since each item is inspected you can rely on us for HIGH QUALITY children's clothing and items at unbeatable prices! Kids are expensive and life is hectic! Rhea Lana's of Bartlesville is the answer for busy and savvy parents like you! The sale runs through May 8.

Woolarac Animal Barn

BHS Commencement 8 PM; Custer Stadium

Every Wednesday in May. One of the most popular places at Woolaroc is our Animal Barn — originally the Dairy Barn for our founder, Frank Phillips. Over the years, the barn has been home to many different animals, including rabbits, chickens, goats, and calves. For the safety of guests and employees, masks are required inside all buildings at Woolaroc for all guests (and employees) age 6 and up.

Bartlesville Farmers Market 8AM Every Saturday in May; Frank Phillips Park Bartlesville Farmers Market offers a variety of fresh produce, baked goods, homemade items and more. The farmers market has a wide variety of fresh produce, grassfed beef, pasture raised pork, fresh eggs, baked goods, raw honey and homemade goods. Enjoy music and shopping! There is something for everyone at the farmers market! For more info vist the farmers market website bartlesvillefarmersmarket.com

BPS Teacher Appreciation Week May 3-7; District-wide. Show your teacher how much you appreciate them! Let them know you care by doing something a little extra special this week.

Weekly Virtual Storytime 10:30 AM Every Wednesday on Bartlesville Public Library's Facebook page.

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MAY 2021 | bmonthly

bmonthly | MAY 2021

MAY EVENTS CALENDAR

Know of an upcoming event you would like to see on our calendar? Visit us at www.bartlesvillemonthly.com to submit a free listing!

Sat, May 1

Sun, May 2

Wed, May 5

7 AM

4 PM

10 AM

Low-Cost Spay/Neuter Clinic

The Arts of Hopestone

1840’s Mountain Man Camp

Animal Rescue Foundation

Hopestone Cancer Support Center

Woolaroc Museum & Wildlife Preserve

399519 US 60

206 SE Frank Phillips Blvd.

1925 Woolaroc Ranch Rd.

Join us for this unique Silent Art Auction featuring one-of-a-kind pieces made at Hopestone by Master Potter Orville Knight & the Hopestone Potters. Tickets are $50 each and all proceeds will benefit Hopestone Cancer Support Center.

Woolaroc's Mountain Man Camp, led by brothers Wes and Roger Butcher, is a living history event that recreates the life of a fur trader in the 1840's. Mountain Man Camp is open 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. during regular operating hours.

Times Vary

Miles for a Mission Virtual 5K Richard Kane YMCA 101 N Osage Ave. Register for Miles for a Mission 5k to support scholarships toward RKYMCA youth development programs. Times Vary

Rhea Lana’s of Bartlesville Spring 2021 Consignment Sale Washington Park Mall 2350 SE Washington Blvd. Shop thousands of items all at once and save 60-90% off retail prices! The sale runs through May 8. 12 PM

Bartlesville Artisan Market Washington Park Mall 2350 SE Washington Blvd., Ste 218 The Bartlesville Artisan Market is open every Friday & Saturday, from 12-4 p.m.

9 PM

Celebrate Recovery

Karaoke

Grace Community Church

Angelo’s Tavern

1500 King Dr. Looking for a safe place to find healing in your life? You’re not alone! Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, 12-step program for anyone with any hurt, habit, and hang-up of any kind! Join us every Monday night at 6:30pm-8:30pm.

Tue, May 4 4 PM

BPS Foundation Educator Hall of Fame Tower Center at Unity Square

To Broadway and Back featuring Cathy Venable

This year, we are inducting Marilyn Blackburn, Sandy Bliss, and Betty Turk (posthumously). Prioritizing the safety of our inductees and guests, we are hosting the event outdoors and will provide socially-distanced seating and require masks when not seated. Sponsorships, tickets, and the opportunity to honor a teacher of your choice are available on the BPS Foundation's website. Tickets are $30; honor a teacher for $20.

Bartlesville Symphony Orchestra shares the stage with Cathy Venable.

300 SE Adams Blvd

6:30 PM

300 SE Adams Blvd

300 SE Adams Blvd.

7 PM

National Day of Prayer Tower Center at Unity Square

Mon, May 3

7:30 PM

Bartlesville Community Center

Thu, May 6

130 S Cherokee Ave. Bring your friends and join us every Thursday of the month.

Animal Barn Open Woolaroc Museum & Wildlife Preserve

Fri, May 7 9 AM

1925 Woolaroc Ranch Rd.

Stray Kat 500 Custon Car Show

One of the most popular places at Woolaroc is the Animal Barn — originally the Dairy Barn for founder, Frank Phillips. The Animal Barn is open 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. during regular operating hours.

Downtown Dewey The cars will be on display through Sunday evening. 7 PM

1 PM

Christian Concert Featuring Blake & Jenna Bolerjack

Daughters of the American Revolution Monthly Meeting

405 S Cherokee Ave.

Women’s Club 601 S Shawnee The guest speaker will be Joyce Ward. She will be giving an overview of the organization “Canine Companions for Independent Living.”

Bartlesville First Baptist Church

8:30 PM

Live Music with Martin & The Dead Guys Platinum Cigar Company 314 S Johnstone Ave.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

EVENTS CALENDAR

Sat May 8

Sun, May 9

Thu, May 20

Sat, May 22

9:30 AM

5 PM

9 AM

Afghan We Can 2.0

Equine-Assisted Activities

Timber Oaks Event Venue

PWP and Care Partners Support Group

1639 US-60

Elder Care

396871 W 1063 Way, Dewey

1223 Swan Dr.

Thu, May 13 7 PM

Ladies Bunco Night

Chocolate Wine Pairing

First Wesleyan Church

Bartlesville Community Center

1776 Silver Lake Rd.

300 SE Adams Blvd. Enjoy an evening of wine tasting and pairing of delicious chocolates & cheeses. Tickets are $50 per person and can be purchased by calling 918-336-7717.

Sat, May 15 10:30 AM

Family Fun Day Frank Phillips Home 1107 SE Cherokee Ave.

6:30 PM

Even if you don’t already know how to play it’s an easy learn. This event is FREE! We suggest you bring your own dice this time. You only need 3. And bring a drink for yourself as well as a snack to share. If your last name begins with A-H, a sweet snack, if it starts with I-Z, a savory snack

Stormwalker Ranch

This experiential workshop with horses will enlighten and inspire any mental health professional and show them how to bring horses into their practice.

Fri, May 28 6 PM

56th Annual Delaware Pow Wow Fred Fall-Leaf Memorial Campgrounds 3 miles east of US 75 on CR600, Copan Free parking and free admission. The event runs through Sunday.

12 PM

7 PM

Spring Trail Ride

Bernie Meadows Celebration of Life

Woolaroc Museum & Wildlife Preserve

Tower Center at Unity Square Stage

1925 Woolaroc Ranch Rd.

300 SE Adams Blvd.

Ticket price includes lunch for riders, and tickets are $50. The non-rider lunch price is $15.

Sat, May 29

Join us for our first annual Family Fun Day at the Frank Phillips Home, presented by Arvest Bank! Enjoy games, inflatables, and much more on our lawn. DJ's Southern Snow, Lil' Bites, and Ryan's Dawgs will have lots of treats to purchase. Games and activities are free!

6 PM

7 PM

Legacy Hall of Fame Gala

DAR & SAR Joint Presentation

Live Music with The Back Roads Band

Bartlesville Community Center

First Wesleyan Church

Cherokee Casino - Ramona

5 PM

300 SE Adams Blvd.

1776 SE Silver Lake Rd.

31501 US 75, Ramona

This year, we will honor the Dunlap and Vaclaw families as Legacy Honorees and the Lyon Family as our second Heritage family.

Tue, May 18

The Bartlesville Chapters of the Daughters of the American Revolution and the Sons of the American Revolution are jointly sponsoring a presentation of the Black Robed Regiment, presented by Rev. Dan Fisher.

6:30 PM

Fri, May 21

GraceFest on the Green 2021 Tower Center at Unity Square 300 SE Adams Blvd. Join us for an evening of praise and worship. Concerts will feature local band NewKings, along with national Christian recording artists Rhett Walker and Cochran & Co. Caleb Gordon will be the guest speaker. Food trucks will also be onsite. The free concert is a fundraiser for The Journey Home. 8:30 PM

Live Music with Robbi Bell Platinum Cigar Company 314 S Johnstone Ave.

Music on the Grounds

9 PM

Frank Phillips Home

8 PM

1107 SE Cherokee Ave.

BHS Class of 2021 Graduation

Enjoy live music on the lawn of the Frank Phillips Home, presented by Truity Credit Union! Music provided by Ann-Janette & the Evolution. Pack a picnic, games, and your lawn chairs for this free family event!

Sun, May 30 1 PM

Local Barrel Races #3 Bartlesville Round-Up Club Arena West of Bartlesville

Mon, May 31

Custer Stadium 1700 Hillcrest Dr.

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

THE TREE THAT ESCAPED THE CROWDED FOREST

FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT ARCHITECT

NewKings Band

Rhett Walker

Cochren & Co.

GRACEFEST on the

Caleb Gordon Guest Speaker

Presented by

GREEN 2021 FREE CONCERT

MAY 8

5 pm - 8 pm • Unity Square Food trucks will be on-site! Benefiting The Journey Home More Information at www.bartlesvillemonthly.com

Sponsored by

ENTERTAINMENT

GraceFest on the Green Rhett Walker is not your typical Christian artist. The preacher’s son who was raised in the South has come full circle with his faith after a period of rebelling against it. “We moved away from my hometown when I was 16, and I didn’t like that. I just went nuts, doing whatever I wanted to do in the moment,” he said. “I mixed with the rough crowd, got into fights and drugs. It wasn’t long before I was expelled from school — just always in trouble. So they sent me to this Christian school, the only one that would take me, and I met this girl. It wasn’t long after that we found out she was pregnant. That was the stop in the path for me.”

he recalls. “My girlfriend’s having a baby, and I have no job. I finally sat down with April, who is now my wife, and said: We’ve done everything wrong that we possibly can. Let’s do everything right from here on out.” Rhett and April went on to get married and rededicated his life to Christ. From there, the Lord began opening doors for Rhett to lead worship and pursue music. “I always knew I wanted to do music, but I couldn’t sing as a kid; I was just terrible at it,” he said. “So I was a drummer at church growing up until one day they called me out front to sing ‘Grace Like Rain’ by Todd Agnew, and I never went back to the drums. The more I sang the more things started opening up.”

Being faced with being a father at 17, Rhett knew it was time to make a choice — he could continue going down the destructive path he was on, or he could change. “It was like, man, what am I doing?”

“There’s just nothing we can do without grace; we’re all dirty, messed up people, but Christ still loves us,” said Rhett. “So there are two things we must do. One: Rejoice, because now we have a purpose on this earth — to share that grace with others. Two: Take up the calling. You can’t just take that love and not tell the story that goes with it.”

Michael Cochren is a singer/songwriter and worship leader from southern Indiana. His music tells stories of hope, grace, and second chances. A large variety of artists such as Billy Joel, Needtobreathe, and Ray Charles have impacted his American piano-driven pop-soul sound.

his band under the name Cochren & Company (stylized Cochren & Co.). opening for artists such as Newsboys, Crowder, Jeremy Camp, NF, We Are Messengers, and many more.

In the summer of 2011, Michael began writing and touring both solo and with a band of his musician friends. With the release of his first EP and the help of some regional radio play in southern Indiana, Michael found himself performing across the Midwest; further developing his sound. In 2014, Michael Cochren began touring with

Cochren & Co. signed to TobyMac's Gotee Records in 2018, releasing two singles "Church (Take Me Back)" and "Grave" in November.

NewKings is a folk-rock band from Oklahoma. Formed in 2013, the band consists of Aaron Vaughan, Jeff Wann, Josh "Pugzly" Adams, & Caleb "Jack" Adams. Encompassing the sounds of folk, rock, gospel, blues & soul, the band's unique sound is driven by gritty vocals over American roots music. NewKings' origins are found in an old country church in Oklahoma. What began as an impromptu music session led to the

Caleb Gordon’s mission is to equip people to find their sufficiency in Jesus Christ and His Word. To encourage people to lead in their homes, churches, and communities for the Glory of God.

realization that the group had something special to offer with their uniquely rich & earthy sound. Soon after, NewKings was officially formed and the group began their journey, where they found the opportunity to share the stage with acts such as X Ambassadors and Plain White T's, along with the President of the United States at the 2017 National Boy Scout Jamboree, and major Christian recording artists, Shane & Shane, NewSong, and Chris August. A journey in 2019 led the group to historic Sound Kitchen Studio to work with GRAMMY-nominated & GMA Dove Award-winning producer, Robert Venable.

like to love Jesus. He was religious, but not saved.

Caleb was born in Doulas, Wyoming. His parents were church planters for the Southern Baptist Convention.

Years later Caleb has one burning desire. To see men and women impacted by the power of the Good News of Jesus!

In 1999, Caleb Gordon was radically saved and his heart was transformed by the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He had been in the church his whole life and for years missed what it looked

Caleb Gordon is the senior pastor at First Baptist Church Cedar Vale, KS he is married to Jamie and has four children, Hannah, Gabe, Austin, and Noah. MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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A FRESH PERSPECTIVE

Our First Heaven Remembering Childhood Thoughts of the Afterlife by Brent Taylor I once saw the ghost of my grandfather when I was nine years old. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge what I imagined as his spirit lurking behind the clothes in my closet. Maybe Grandpa was back from the dead for reasons unfathomable, or perhaps rebuffed at the pearly gates by a toll booth zealot who disliked his 1963 Mercury Monterey. My theory about heaven at nine years of age was steeped in candy and flying winged creatures, but still, it was my vision. It included an inexhaustible bowl of peanut M&M’s flowing like a rainbow stream down a mountain. It wasn’t the stuff of Augustine, but it gave a creative flourish to my spare understanding of reward and punishment, and enlivened my black and white Bible in brilliant pastels. Like the words of Jesus printed red in my Bible, I saw the words of Heaven in rainbow hew, not unlike a sepia version of Dorothy opening the door of a Kansas farmhouse as the vibrant world of Oz exploded in lush color revealing a blue gingham dress as she stepped over the threshold, mouth agape. Strangely, the image of Grandpa lurking in the shadows of my closeted shirts wasn’t haunting, but rather cartoonish — like the image of restless teens distorted in round chrome bumpers of muscle cars.

Now that I’m older, I think of such things in more reserved ways. I embrace the grace of getting older, closer to what I can’t comprehend. But in my invincible youth, I listened to crewcut white men in thick glasses speaking over the clickety clack of 8mm films, explaining the worlds of science and religion in voices of confidence that I had no reason to question. My neighborhood was filled with sound and fury, the thunder of sonic booms, searchlights piercing the night sky from car dealer parking lots, baseballs leaving yards, and geese flying south. And, like dark matter confounding scientists, I sensed something alive in the midst of the air I breathed, something not yet experienced that I couldn’t quite name. My first heaven was a place where the air we breathed was not just oxygen, but rather a sky painted Air Force blue brushed with ribbons of jet contrail, a three-dimensional palate we filled with Superman and everlasting optimism. According to an ancient way of explaining the atmosphere, humans occupy the first heaven. We don’t live beneath the sky, we live in it. So in my childhood neighborhood, just one block north of the old Limestone Elementary School, we imagined the brilliant azure of our first heaven, a place where we saw brokenness, a car wreck and a girl sitting in the ditch with a blanket over her shaking shoulders, amidst everyday common

beauty like cut grass, flowering crabapple trees, and sunsets. Sarah Addison Allen wrote in her book, The Sugar Queen, “I think Heaven will be like a first kiss.” I’m not so sure first kisses are all that wonderful. But some kisses are transcendent, ethereal. If heaven is like a kiss, like the longing of perfect love, then that sounds like a grand place. And the passionate reunion reminds me of C.S. Lewis words, “I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.” I know the first heaven well, and it is beautiful, but sometimes broken and hard to bear. But, it is still the place of my secret longings, a home perhaps located at the intersection of God and Einstein and grandpa, where dark matter resides beyond the wild blue yonder, and the sun, moon, and stars spin like turnstiles collecting highway tokens from wanderers searching for home.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

LOOKING BACK

2nd Oldest Toy in the World by Kay Little, Little History Adventures Historians believe the yo-yo originated in China, but the first mention of a toy resembling a yo-yo was from Greece in 500 B.C. These toys were made from wood, metal, or painted terra cotta disks. The National Museum of Athens has a terra cotta disk and a vase painting from that time period showing a Greek youth playing with a yo-yo. In an ancient Egyptian temple, there is a drawing of yo-yos. The yo-yo traveled to India, the Orient, and to Europe. As it traveled, it was known by many names. In some places, the yo-yo was used as a stress reliever, including by Napoleon and his army at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. In the 1920s, Pedro Flores brought the first Filipino yo-yo to the United States and began a yo-yo company in California. In 1927, while Donald Duncan Sr was in California, he met someone playing with one of Flores’ toys. The toy fascinated him as it went up and down, but it did not do anything else. He bought one and took it back to his company’s headquarters in Chicago and devised a way for the string to make the yo-yo stay at the bottom of the spin and then return when the string was jerked a little. He designed what became the Duncan yo-yo and purchased the Flores Yo-Yo Company. Duncan held competitions throughout the country to promote his yo-yo. In May 1931, 3,000,000 yo-yos were sold after a competition in Philadelphia. People of all ages enjoyed playing with it. Duncan Sr held the copyright on the trademark slogan, “If it isn’t a Duncan, it isn’t a yo-yo.” By 1962, the company had sold 45 million yo-yos, but could not keep up with the demand. This eventually hurt the company and they filed for bankruptcy in 1965. The company who purchased the Duncan name manufactures and sells them today. In 1985, NASA sent a yo-yo into space on the Space Shuttle Discovery. But, the yo-yo would not “sleep” because of the lack of gravity. Fast forward to 1998. Don Duncan, Jr, and his wife were visiting Bartlesville yo-yo collector, Bill Caswell. They liked Bartlesville so well, they bought a house and moved here from Arizona. On June 1, 2001, they opened the Yozeum in downtown Bartlesville. It featured Don Jr’s large collection of yo-yos and memorabilia, including 800 yo-yos’s hanging in Plexiglas, a Will Rogers yo-yo, one from Tiffany’s, one that whistles and hums, miniatures for women of society, and many others. In fact, Don had 800 more in storage. Don Jr was quoted as saying, “It’s a solo sport. It fits in your pocket and it’s always attached to you. It is a very wholesome product. “ Unfortunately, on June 12, 2003, Don and Donna died in an automobile accident. People all over the world grieved the loss of the Duncans. Much of the yo-yo collection was eventually donated to the Smithsonian. The Duncan yo-yo is a classic toy that has endured for over 70 years. In fact, June 6 is National Yo-Yo Day in honor of Duncan Sr’s birthday. By the way, the oldest toy in the world is dolls.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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A Moment for Pause Remembering Our Vietnam Fallen Never Coming Home by Debbie Neece, Bartlesville Area History Museum

The Vietnam War Memorial at Washington D.C. is a place of peaceful reflection meant to bring visitors emotional solace...a place to publically mourn among others who share painful emptiness. At the height of visitation, in 2015, a record 5.6 million visitors held at least one thing in common…loss…each comforting and assisting another as one family. Visitors place their hand over the engraved letters that spell the name of a lost family member as if to touch the heart of a soul who left home with courage and fell into the arms of angels. Seeing ones self-reflection beaming from the black granite wall must be as heart wrenching as the day word was received of the death.

bmonthly | MAY 2021

From 1,400 designs submitted into a national competition, the design of 21-year-old Yale University student, Maya Lin, was selected as finalist for the Vietnam War Memorial. Ground broke March 1982 and the site was dedicated in November as part of a five-day Veteran’s Day ceremony with 57,939 names listed on the wall. According to the National Parks Service, by 2017, that number grew to 58,318 including an estimated 1,500 Missing in Action heroes. The Memorial also brings comfort and closure to anguishing families forever searching for loved ones who may never come home.

NOW YOU KNOW

As if to embrace visitors, the two arms of the wall reach 246.75 feet in each direction…the western wall towards the Lincoln Memorial and the eastern wall towards the Washington Monument. The U.S. was involved in the support and training of Vietnamese freedom fighters as early as 1947 when President Truman sent planes, jeeps and military advisors as part of a multimillion dollar aid package in the fight against communism. The political support policy continued though the presidencies of Eisenhower and Kennedy evolving into a quicksand which grabbed and held fast to America before the explosion of war during Johnson, Nixon and Ford. Young men with the least to gain faced a battle they saw with no reason or goal; they donned their courage 24 hours a day, marched towards survival and returned to upheaval in America. Vietnam was the first televised war and the knowledge divided our nation, a division not experienced since the Civil War. After WWI and WWII, our service men returned to a hero’s welcome. Not so for our Vietnam servicemen who found protests in the streets, not celebratory parades.

The war ending was as fluid as the beginning. While the United States withdrew troops from Vietnam in 1973 after the signing of the Paris Peace Accords, U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War did not end until the fall of Saigon on April 30, 1975. Even more confusing, Congress considers May 7, 1975 as the end of the Vietnam War because, on that date, President Gerald Ford announced the end of the Vietnam Era. The Vietnam War Memorial was placed as a symbol of healing; however, not all Vietnam heroes are named on the Vietnam Memorial. Some returned home and dealt with the terror of war until their dying day. There is a comraudery among our service personel…a trust not to be broken…a brotherhood. Beyond the twenty-two Washington County fallen servicemen who sacrificed their lives during the Vietnam War, there were many who survived and live among us quietly suffering. One such hero was Specialist Fourth Class Michael Otis Dempsey, a 1966 graduate of Bartlesville’s College High School. After graduation, Dempsey attended Northeastern State College in Tahlequah before entering the service. On September 5, MAY 2021 | bmonthly

NOW YOU KNOW

1968, in the face of an intense hail of automatic gunfire, Dempsey set his own life aside to rescue casualties. A military document detailed the heroic events for which he was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and the Purple Heart. However, the depth of valor Specialist Mike Dempsey exhibited was much more exceptional. Fighting an ongoing battle, Dempsey disabled several enemy foxholes with grenades on his rescue mission to leave no man behind. Finding a soldier deceased on his second rescue attempt, Dempsey returned a third time with a rope to pull the lifeless soldier and his gear back to safety…back to the brotherhood…home to a grieving family. Mike Dempsey survived the Vietnam War and returned home as did many other soldiers. But the anguish of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) haunted his existence creating a distance from family and most friends. When Michael Otis Dempsey died December 27, 2003, he was quietly buried in the Fort Gibson National Cemetery. Like other PTSD veterans, Dempsey succumbed to the struggle for normalcy after he sacrificed for this nation but was not recognized on the Vietnam Memorial Wall with the fallen.

In 2008, the Department of Defense Vietnam War Commemoration Fund was established to provide a 13-year moment of pause in recognition of all Vietnam veterans. On May 25, 2012, the president signed a proclamation declaring May 28, 2012 through November 11, 2025 as the commemoration of the 50th Anniversary of the Vietnam War in appreciation of all Vietnam Veterans, their families and our fallen heroes. As the last WWI and WWII veterans who fought for our freedoms quietly pass from this life, our Vietnam War veterans walk among us. Some proudly wear ball caps telling you of their service, others walking silently with the unhealed wounds of war. This Memorial Day please take a moment of pause to pray for our nation’s veterans, fallen heroes and the gift of sacrifice from their families.

Did You Know? There are tens of thousands memorial offerings annually left at the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C. ranging from letters to photos to dog tags which are archived at the Vietnam Veteran Memorial Collections operated by the National Parks Service. In 1995, a custom Harley Davidson Motorcycle, built from donated parts and assembled as a labor of love, was left at the Memorial as a tribute to the fallen heroes from the “people of Wisconsin.” That Memorial Day weekend, 106 motorcyclists traveled to the Vietnam War Memorial to present the “chopper” which was graced with a “HERO” license plate, custom paint scenes and the dog tags of Wisconsin’s 37 fallen heroes. Now You Know*

bmonthly | MAY 2021

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TRIBUTE

Kyle Davis Deputy Lived a Life of Service to Family, Community & Friends by Maria Gus Washington County Sheriff’s Deputy Kyle Davis was as funny as he was kind. Good natured, a sportsman, a community servant, a beloved friend, but most of all, Deputy Kyle Davis loved his family. Deputy Davis lost his life in late March while in service to his community after an altercation with an inmate at the Washington County Jail. The loss has been felt deeply throughout the community, but especially with his dear coworkers, friends, and family. Davis was married to the love of his life, Kristin, and they had two children, ages 5 and 6, that were his pride and joy. Davis met his wife Kristin in elementary school and they were always friends. He was a couple of years older than Kristin and they stayed in touch after he graduated. But in the fall of 2008, they reconnected at a Copan home football game and the pair was instantly inseparable. “There were lots of things that made me fall in love with him, but at the top of the list was the way he made me laugh and his caring heart,” recalled Kristin Davis. “He was truly my best friend; we did everything together.” Everyone agrees that Kyle Davis had a caring and gentle heart. He is remembered for treating everyone with kindness and respect, and even the inmates at the jail thought quite a lot of Kyle. He loved spending time with his children and his 8-year-old nephew, “the lights of his world.” He loved his sister, his parents, and was a true family man. “He was probably one of the nicest people that has ever graced the Sheriff’s department,” said Sheriff Scott Owens. “As far as caring about others, whether they were in jail or friends, he always extended courtesy and grace and treated them the way he’d want to be treated. His parents did a fine job and we’re gonna miss him.” Sheriff Owens mentioned that the inmates made posters and sympathy cards and posted them to the windows for the jailers to see. He was loved by the brethren and all the people at the jail. “Deputy Davis was a good example to everyone.” Ronald Raines, administrative assistant at the Washington County Sheriff’s Office, said that any interaction with Kyle was either funny or humbling. “If it was just us officers talking, he would match any sense of humor with jokes. If he was interacting with an inmate,

he spoke to them calmly and respectfully, no matter how belligerent or disrespectful they were being. This is a job that most can't or wouldn't do, and it really exposes who you are and how you treat other people.” Raines said Davis was a free spirit in humor and jest, and a disciplined and humble man in duty and decorum. “It was a privilege to know him.” Administrative assistant Lee Ann Meade went to high school and college with Davis, and then had the privilege to work with him at the WCSO as well. “His family was his priority, and he could always make you smile and turn your bad day into the best day,” said Meade. Kristin Davis said the continued outpouring of support has been very much appreciated and has carried them through these past several weeks. “I can’t possibly thank the community enough for the care and concern they’ve shown during this tragic time,” said Davis. “The kids especially have loved hearing everyone’s stories about their daddy. Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we look back on what an amazing time we had with Kyle as a husband, friend, and father.” Cami Jo Wallis, sister-in-law to Kyle Davis had this to say: “I got a brother, one who would message me randomly out of the blue out of concern for something or someone, who was humble and protective even when my eyes weren't open to see it. I will certainly miss Kyle and the little things each day, but most importantly, I will miss how he brought joy to my sister. “ Deputy Carey Duniphen: “I think what I will miss the most about Kyle is him coming to my office to just shoot the breeze. The fact that he could make your day so much better by just coming in and talking, mainly because he was a big jokester and kid at heart, speaks volumes of what kind of man he was. I will truly miss my friend more than words can explain.” Deputy Reba Crawford, 1st Deputy: “My memory of Kyle is he always made you feel like you were that special friend he was checking up on. He never failed to be sure you were okay. Little did we all know he did a lot of us that way, but you didn't know because he made you feel that special. He will be missed tremendously.”

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

ACTS OF PATRIOTISM

Doing It for the Troops Boy Scout Troop 6 Adorning Veterans’ Graves with Flags by Tim Hudson Over 5,000 flags will once again adorn the graves of local deceased veterans, thanks to a local Boy Scout Troop. “We put out about 5,500 flags and it takes about 25 to 30 volunteers that work through the night,” according to Troop 6 Leader Charles Lewis. He is talking about an annual event that the troop has been holding for over 40 years. “It’s been going since 1975, and we put the flags up the Monday before Memorial Day. It’s something that everybody looks forward to every year, and we’ve turned it into a picnic — it’s like visiting relatives.” Troop Committee Chair Frank McNickle said that the group allows others to join in placing the flags. “In our Boy Scout Troop we have about 20 boys, but when we do this program we open up to volunteers and parents, so we typically have about 30 people show up to help,” he said. “The flags stay up through the weekend and Memorial Day, and then on Monday night, when we meet we take up the flags.” Finding exactly where to place the flags has been challenging, but Lewis said the troop is working to include everyone. “The challenge is knowing who to pick, because if they don't have a military grave or a military stone, it’s difficult,” he said. “We have some records, but it's only if they are told to us. We don’t have any source that calls us and says ‘hey so and so passed away.’” McNickle concurs saying, “We had a lady text us and she said her dad hasn't had a flag on his grave in the six years since he’s been buried. We weren’t even notified of it, and he might not have any kind of military marker.” She’s going to meet us out there and I told her she could put a flag on her father’s grave if she wanted.” In the beginning, the Troop simply looked for military gravestones. Thankfully, help arrived in the form of an Eagle Scout project. “In years past, we just walked up and down the rows looking for veterans graves. Then one of the scouts had an Eagle project that he worked with the cemetery and the the American Legion on,” said McNickle. “He created basically a spreadsheet of all the sections in the park and all the veterans graves. Some will say in a certain section we have a Tim or we have a John who was a veteran, so it’s much easier.”

Anyone with names of deceased veterans buried in Memorial Park or White Rose Cemeteries is encouraged to email McNickle with the names and locations at fmcnickle@yahoo.com

Now, any time a new veteran’s grave is discovered, the troop hand-records it in their book before adding it to the master spreadsheet.

“It’s anyone that served,” he said, adding that he’s going to keep putting up flags “as long as my body will hold up!”

Lewis said that the honor is not limited to veterans killed in action but to any veteran.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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ON THE OSAGE

Caliber and Character Hominy’s Cha’ Tullis an Icon in His Community by Kelly Bland If I were going to describe Cha’ Tullis, the first thing that comes to mind is, “a ring for every finger and a heart as big as Texas.” You’ll recognize him when you see him, as he stands head and shoulders above most men. He’s an icon and a treasure with a heart for both Osage County and his community of Hominy that touches mine. Men like this one are rare. Hominy is a community with its own uniqueness. High atop a hill overlooking the town, 20-foot-tall metal Indian sculptures silhouette the western sky. One day I went exploring (with the owner’s permission — sorta) and climbed up to the top of that very hill. The view was gorgeous, but I was amazed at the size of those sculptures! New Territory is their name, and they have one of the best views in Oklahoma from their perch. New Territory sets Hominy apart, thanks to the vision and creativity of Cha’ Tullis. Many buildings sport fading murals throughout the downtown area. Those too, tell the story of a man with a generous heart who willingly poured it out through every calculated stroke of a paint brush many years ago. That man was Tullis. If you hear Native American music downtown when you open your car door, follow it. It will lead you to the door of the Cha’ Tullis Gallery where Cha’ and his wife, Tina, spend their days making jewelry and friends. From hides to painted canvas art, ponchos to straw hats, and one-of-a-kind turquoise jewelry creations — you’ll always find something new every time you visit — and I definitely recommend that you visit! 😊 Every community has them – the gems who go above and beyond, who give their best, who believe in their fellow man, and who make where they come from a better place for all. I call them the Engaged. Not like with a ring on their left hand – but in Tullis’ case – yes, like with a ring on their left hand, on every finger! Lol. These are the pearls. The ones who have withstood the pressure to quit, give up, or to throw in the towel. These are the ones who have stood the test of time — who now are tempered and unbreakable and who jingle like a handmade spur rowel on a wooden front porch. The Engaged don’t complain about the problems, they bring solutions to the table. They are outside-of-the-box thinkers, the innovative entrepreneurs, the overcoming dream pursuers, and the ones NOT spreading infectious small-town manure. (It rhymed — but still, I’m just sayin’.)

These are the very things legends are made of — and Cha’ Tullis is a hero and a legend in Osage County — not just because I say so, but because he was also recognized as such by the Osage County Historical Society in 2019. However, Cha’ would never tell you these things when you’re visiting with him over a jewelry showcase in downtown Hominy. He’d be more interested in talking to you about your life and accomplishments, and making you feel appreciated and important. But I guess that’s just the way men of his character and caliber behave. I’d encourage you to drive over to Hominy to the Cha’ Tullis Gallery (ChaTullisGallery.com). Recently, Cha’ sat down with The Tourism Gal and recorded an episode of the Osagin’ It podcast you can download on Spotify, Google Play, Amazon, Pandora, iHeart, iTunes, and more. He talks about how he got started in the art business, as well as his heart for Hominy, Osage County, Oklahoma. Until next time, y’all come see us in the place where #TheSmilesAreAlwaysFree - #OsageCountyOklahoma – USA. We’ll leave the light on for you! 😉 MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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ONCE UPON A TIME

We Had It All . . . . . . Just Like Bogie and Bacall by Rita Thurman Barnes A new little two-bedroom home with a fireplace and a 1955 Ford; you couldn’t ask for more back then. I guess I was as odd as a little kid as I am now – about remembering things that don’t matter. My older brothers and sister used to tell me that when I was about 4 years old, I could name every car on the road and tell you what year it was. What good does that do the average four-year-old! Not a golly gosh darn bit as far as I can tell. But I do remember those old cars to this day even though I can’t tell one new car from the other these days. I’m so happy for people who have 10,000 square foot homes. I really am. I don’t resent movie stars and Wall Street moguls having enough money to donate more than most of us will see in a lifetime. I really don’t. I guess if I had that much money, I’d give some of it away too. Probably a lot of it. You can only spend so much, and it seems some of the rich folks have finally learned the same lesson Mr. Andrew Carnegie did. He is known for saying that he only began to really enjoy his fortune when he started giving it away. That little tidbit really excited me when I first learned it many years ago while reading his biography. His generosity is why so many small towns all over the country became beneficiaries of Carnegie Libraries. You can see them in most small towns of a certain size while traveling if you take the time to look. Mr. Carnegie died a happy man. I don’t know what happened to me a few years back – but it happened. My husband and I have owned several new homes – one of which my brothers custom built. We enjoyed all of them very much, but my husband pointed out an interesting fact to me one day. He said, “Rita, have you ever noticed that no matter how

new the house is we live in, you spend all your time trying to make it look old?” We gave up moving for a while when I realized that a newer, nicer house doesn’t make me any happier than the one I already live in. However, our upcoming move is to be closer to our oldest son. The point in this little narrative is that it seemed to have taken much less to make most of us happy “back then”. A

two-bedroom house, a nice little affordable car, a couple of nice things to wear to church on Sunday and we were happy. A hard day at work or a busy day of housework and a movie on Saturday night and we were happy. A weekend trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s and a good romp with the cousins and we were happy. Adding to our savings account and giving to the church and we were happy. A longdistance call once a month to or from our parents or our kids at college and we were happy. Going to a nice restaurant every now and then and the chance for a dessert not on mom’s menu – these things made us all happy. What happened between the 1955 Ford and the 10,000 square foot house? A rhetorical question but an interesting one to me, nonetheless. Maybe you can tell me. I haven’t yet figured it out. Come to think of it – that may be a 1956 Ford. I forget right now. MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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JoAnn’s Oasis Gardens East of Copan Offer a Special Treat by Kloma Laws When you drive around the bend and see a very old, very rusty antique truck then turn your head to across the road and see an island of blooming flowers, you know you are in for a treat! I was visiting JoAnn Kincaid White’s gardens East of Copan. We followed the road under big shade trees, barely noticing the hostas and flowers at the front of the house because we saw more antiques inviting us to walk to the backyard past ferns, sedum, phlox, elephant ears, parsley, lamb’s ear, catmint, a tomato plant, and a beautiful, blooming oak leaf hydrangea. We just glanced at the patio corner arrangement of sedum and red, white, and purple petunias because we saw five big islands of flowers anchored in the middle with a shade garden under trees, and a big pond in the distance. There were chairs in the shade garden for relaxing among iris, hostas, ground covers, shrubs, and a fire ring for grilling or lighting a fire on cool evenings. The other islands were a mixture of perennials, annuals, sedums, succulents, and shrubs, intermixed with rusty antique farm equipment and collectibles used as garden art or as structural interest. Each island had a dominant flower. Since it was summer, we walked the path to the first island, past JoAnn’s stained glass art piece and through lots of spider flowers and phlox, coneflowers, milkweeds, and a large ninebark. It was edged with yellow creeping jenny, petunias, sedum, and other low-growing plants. Zinnia elegans dominated another bed that had the tallest sunflower I had ever seen. Daisies, salvia, fennel, and Rudbeckias — including the variety ‘Henry Eilers’ — were among the nectar flowers and host plants for the pollinators. A gourd plant with tiny gourds circled one bed and in another, the lowgrowing frogfruit hugged the edge while ‘Black and Blue’ salvia brought in the hummingbirds. We saw verbena, lantana, yarrow, Gaura, cosmos, monarda, Agastache, speedwell, lilies, hydrangeas, spirea, hibiscus, and Japanese maples.

mulches the beds heavily with wood mulch to keep down the weeds and fertilizes with a variety of mixtures. JoAnn and her partner, Jim Brown, enjoy searching for the old rusty antiques and unique collectibles that JoAnn artistically places for visual affect. They delight in reminiscing, and it adds a whimsical touch to the landscape. She has a knack for growing succulents in “collectible” containers that spill over with her arrangements. Her “She Shed” that she built is the dream shed of all the gardeners I know, but she keeps items from the good old days placed on her DIY penny floor and only uses it to dry seeds. We were amazed, inspired, and motivated as we reluctantly drove away — and then we saw the last collectible, a metal 7 foot T-Rex sculpture with a horseshoe back and I HAVE to hear the story from JoAnn about this guy! The Green Thumb Garden Club wants everyone to be inspired, too, and will be sponsoring a garden tour in 2022 that includes JoAnn’s oasis and other inspiring gardens. The tour is a fundraiser for the Club’s projects which include: planting and maintaining “the corner” at Frank Phillips Boulevard and Highway 75, buying and putting up Christmas lights at “the corner,” a daffodil project for Meals on Wheels, garden therapy at nursing homes, sponsoring a Junior Garden Club, and participation in the Mayors for Monarch project. For more information on how to volunteer or join a club, call 918213-5519, email klomajean@aol.com, or like us on Facebook Bartlesville Green Thumb Garden Club.

Around a pond were cattails and pseudacorus iris. Bachelor buttons, poppies, and annual coreopsis had already bloomed and gone to seed. JoAnn does all her own work, including starting new islands by layering plant debris, newspaper, leaves, and wood mulch. She MAY 2021 | bmonthly

30th ANNUAL DEWEY ANTIQUE SHOW Saturday, June 5, 2021 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tickets $5 Washington County Fair Building 1109 N. Delaware St., Dewey, OK 74029 Contact Leah 918-440-3375 or Gail 918-440-5200 FB page sponsored by Antiques and Collectibles Association

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UNMISSABLE EVENTS

Antiques & More Annual Dewey Antique Show & Sale Set for June 5 by Lori Just The Antiques and Collectibles Association is hosting its 30th Annual Dewey Antique Show and Sale on June 5, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the Washington County Fairgrounds, 1109 N. Delaware, in Dewey. “This one-day show is the largest in the area,” said Gail Inman, local collector. “We pride ourselves in having a large selection of antiques to fit any budget and any age. Everybody can find something in their collector’s eye.” The show has over 50 vendors from several states specializing in antique glassware, tools, linens, mid-century items, furniture, primitives, books, paper memorabilia, western collectibles, architectural salvage, toys, kitchen collectibles, jewelry, vintage signs, quilts, and much more. Several vendors are members of the Antiques and Collectibles Association and are very knowledgeable about what they sell. They look to find just the right items for this special sale. “We started this show and sale three decades ago as an opportunity to educate people about antiques and vintage items,” said Inman. “At our show, you have a chance to talk to the owner of the item to learn its history or get information on how to start your own collection. They are also a resource to help you find what you’re after, because they come from all across the United States.” Inman said several attendees have found sought-after items at this sale and were so excited to add to their collection. A woman who collected pottery pieces from the 1800s that were made in Coffeyville, Kansas and were decorated with a sunflower was able to find a croc to complete her collection. Another individual scored a Mobile Oil sign with a flying horse on it. “Part of why people collect is for decoration or the possibility of discovering something difficult to find. Some people decorate with solid wood items, books tied together with a ribbon, or things that are nostalgic to their childhood,” Inman said. “Pyrex is big right now, as well as advertising items. One vendor is bringing original movie theater posters from the 60s — including the original M.A.S.H. movie.” The Lacemakers Guild of Oklahoma will be demonstrating how to make lace and do handwork throughout the day. The Joyful Springs from Bartlesville First Baptist Church will perform from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Genealogy Society will also be onsite to help attendees learn how to get started with their ancestry search. Concessions will be available for purchase all day.

Admission to the show is $5. The Antiques and Collectible Association uses the ticket sale proceeds to offer high school scholarships to local students and support families in need during the holidays. The Antiques and Collectibles Association is always taking new members, with $12 annual membership dues. This group of individuals enjoy collecting and selling antique and collectible items and meets every last Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. Each meeting has a presentation of some type of antique, which someone has collected over the years and enjoys sharing their knowledge. The ACA is a nonprofit organization and is open to anyone that is interested in learning more about antiques and collectibles. For more info about the show or the association, call Inman at 918-333-5200.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

FROM THE HEART

Not By Chance You Never Know What Someone is Going Through by Lori Kroh On a random Tuesday a man walks in and sits down in my office at my model home. I work for a builder, so I’m used to people coming in during the week. I cleared my desk — ready to talk business. I know he is a good man because he has on an old veteran’s Navy hat, which he removes and lays across his knee. He folds his hands and relaxes in the chair just a little bit and I sense he is guarded and observant. I start off by chatting about the weather, he mentions the news and asks about good diners. I gathered he wanted to talk some more and I asked how I could help him. It turns out he just moved here and bought a home in the neighborhood where I sell homes. He had a few questions about the builder and how things work with warranty and I answered the list of questions. He nodded and made some notes and took my card. I sensed he wasn’t in a hurry. I could have just said … “Well, have a nice day, sir” as I had plenty of work to do, like everyone else. Yet, I just went with the moment and took a chance. This is about more than just warranty, I thought to myself. He seemed off as he showed zero emotion, was mechanical, and seemed like a ghost of a person. His eyes were dull and had no light. I wondered about his past, wondered about his present, and what I could do to make a difference in his future. He was a man of honor, so I couldn't help myself, I had to ask some questions. "Hey, Sir. Are you doing okay? Are you adjusting to Oklahoma and your move here?” I rambled on, “I know the weather has been weird ... or actually it’s been normal for Oklahoma, but you seem a little down and I don't even know you at all.” "Well, ma'am,” he said. “I am sad. I’m so very sad.” He fidgets with his hat and looks down. “I just moved here and it has been a really hard move for me ... I had to leave San Diego ... because I just couldn't stand it anymore.” "Of course,” I say. “The traffic? The high cost of living?" "No, ma’am. It was all the memories. My only son was murdered at his apartment. All the detectives told me it was a random act of violence. My son heard a fight one night, opened his door and was then killed by a gang. So, you see, my life is over. I am extremely sad and can’t get over him. I had to move away. I couldn't take it.”

He goes on and shares more of his life and all about his son. I listen to him for well over an hour. Time passes and I forget all about my work. My phone never rang and I remember thinking how I hoped we wouldn’t be interrupted. He told me his memories of his son and cried. He told me memories of his son and laughed. I grabbed Kleenex and started to cry too. I felt the atmosphere change and it’s not by chance we met that day. The bonding over his loss, was my gain. I gained an understanding into the “you never know what someone is going through” adage. I stared at this veteran and was struck by a solemn moment as I watched a broken man break even more. I breathed deep and said, "Hey, mister. I am sorry for the loss of your son. I have a son. I am sure your entire world has been crushed. I don't know what to say except I am really, really sorry and wish I had the perfect words to comfort you. If you ever need a friend then come on down to the model home here, okay? I will always make time to visit with you.” He lifted his head and smiled at me. He wiped his tears and clenched his hat. If on a random day you are having a random chat, just know your meeting is not by chance.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

THEN

NOW

85 years later... What started as a simple home laundry service, now serves 1,584 customers in 110 cities in 4 states. What started as a family business, remains a family business that now employs 112 people, drives 17,000 miles and processes 270,000 pounds of product every week.

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BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT

United Legacy United Linen Celebrates 85th Year in Business by Denise McKinnon When I think of United Linen - Uniform Services the words family, community, and legacy come to mind. They have been a part of the fabric of Bartlesville since 1936, and are celebrating their 85th year in business. The world has changed a lot in the past 85 years, but the core values of teamwork, caring, friendliness, and integrity have been the bedrock United Linen is built on. These guiding principles not only impact how they do business, but how they treat all they come in contact with. Though Mat Saddoris has been Barbara, LeRoy, Joe, the President/CEO since the 1990s, Janet, and Mat Saddoris he is quick to note his family member’s contribution in the company’s formation and growth. Uncle Gerald Saddoris started it all by doing laundry for a neighbor and his spirit of entrepreneurship led him to begin the laundry and dry-cleaning service. As they grew, he brought in his brother Arlin, who oversaw the Saddoris Laundromat. Then in the 1970s Gerald’s nephew, LeRoy, acquired United Linen in Tulsa, and the name was changed to United Linen & Uniform Rental. LeRoy, Mat’s father, was a hard worker who believed his contribution to the community and his family was to run United Linen to the best of his ability, 24/7, 365 days a year. Mat remembers his dad would go "check the plant" every night, taking his children, Joe, Mat, and Janet with him. He’d turn the lights on, look everything over, and then they’d go home. Mat says, "I really didn’t know what he was doing. I was just a kid." I think LeRoy was teaching them to look for the little things others might not notice, and that responsibility doesn’t end at quitting time. He was teaching them what it takes to go the distance for your employees and those you care about. He was teaching them commitment.

Rechelle Saddoris, Mat Saddoris, Colby Saddoris, Tawny Saddoris

After LeRoy and Barbara passed in an airplane accident in 1983, Joe and Mat were thrust into leadership of the family business. They were young men who had just lost their parents, and the community rallied around the company and around their families. The outpouring of love and support of employees, customers, and friends helped plant the spirit of caring in their hearts and helped them through their first

years of leadership. "In the early years, we weren’t supporting the community, the community was supporting us," Mat reminisced. The support Bartlesville has given to the Saddoris family has come full circle. It is reciprocated in the family’s volunteerism and civic leadership. Over the years, they have donated everything from trucks to goods and services. When they see a need, they get involved. Employing executives to first-time employees to being a second chance employer, helping individuals with prior justice system involvement find stability and gain work experience, and as the company has grown, the ability to employ more people has United’s Chevrolet truck from the 1980s. increased too. Tawny, Mat’s daughter-in-law, has served on committees that include Catholic Charities Mary Martha Outreach, Bartlesville Community Trust Authority & Tower Center at Unity Square, WPSA, and All That Jazz for Westside Community Center. Colby, Mat’s son, has served on the YMCA, WPSA, and All That Jazz for Westside Community Center. Mat has served on the Bartlesville Community Foundation, and with the Bartlesville Chamber. Mat’s wife, Rechelle, is an accomplished artist, and her love of art led her to be a part of the Bartlesville Art Association. Bartlesville is where they have their roots, raise their families, and where they will continue to serve as the next generation of Saddoris’ take their place. As Mat reflected over the past year and what got them through, it will be the same thing that propels them forward toward their future- "Stay true to God, the community, United Linen, and each other." I think that is good advice for not only the United Linen team, but for us all.

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

KNOWING NOWATA

Remembering Those Lost A Look Back at Two Nowata Soldiers Killed in Vietnam by Carroll Craun War is brutal! For some reason, people do not seem to learn how to live in peace, let alone learn from the past. We continue to fight, resulting in loss of life and serious injuries. Families send members off to foreign lands not knowing if they will receive a telegram, as in earlier years, or open the door to two service represenSgt. Kenneth “K.B.” B. Berry tatives bringing news of the loss of a loved one. For those left at home, the fear is constant, will it be my brother/sister, father/ mother, son/daughter, cousin, friend, or neighbor that does not come home. One of the many monuments to war heroes is the Vietnam Wall, with 58,390 names inscribed of those lost or killed in action. The sheer enormity of loss is a visual reminder of the impact on families. Many did not come home, having given their greatest gift to our Nation — their life in the quest for freedom — not only for our countrymen and women, but also for others around the world. Two names on the Wall are young men from Nowata. They were graduates of Nowata High School in 1964 and 1968. Both were star athletes, playing on the varsity football team and in the case of one, on the varsity basketball team. Both young men were well-liked and loved by their classmates, and carried with them the expectation of coming home from war to a bright future. That did not happen. The first to be killed in action was Sgt. Kenneth B. Berry, or ‘K.B.’ as he was known. He was a star quarterback for the varsity football team and co-captain of the varsity basketball team. He entered the Army on September 7, 1966, and was sent to Ft. Bliss, Texas for basic training. At Camp Polk, Louisiana he attended leadership school and attended advanced training at Ft. Knox, Kentucky. He attained the rank of Sergeant First Aviation Brigade 3rd Squadron, 17th Calvary. He was sent to Vietnam on October 10, 1967, and died from wounds received in a helicopter crash in Tay Ninh Province, South Vietnam on January 6, 1968. He was engaged to be married when he returned home. Sgt. Berry has a lot of family still living in the Nowata/Bartlesville area. He is buried in the Nowata Memorial Cemetery.

named “Brutus” as a heavy equipment driver. This truck was touted to be almost indestructible. Sadly, his truck and crew were hit in an ambush and he died from his injuries. The truck and some of the crew did survive. According to his crewmates, he was always happy and full of life, encouraging others Spec 4 Jimmy Ray Callison when they were down. The attack occurred on November 21, 1970 in Binh Dinh, Vietnam. The Smithsonian produced a documentary called Gun Trucks of Vietnam. It contains footage of the ambush and fierce battle in which Jimmy lost his life. He too has a lot of family still in the Nowata area, and is also buried in the Nowata Memorial Cemetery. If you are interested in seeing the documentary, it can be viewed at the Nowata Museum in the Veterans exhibit or obtained through the Smithsonian. Both men received the Purple Heart Medal posthumously. This is the oldest military award presented to American Servicemembers, created in 1880 by the Continental Congress. This medal is given to wounded or killed-in-action servicemembers and is a solemn distinction that the servicemember has sacrificed greatly. Should you run into any of their family members, thank them for their hero and take time to give thanks for their service to our nation. These are just two of the countless men and women that we need to honor and salute.

The second name on the Wall belongs to that of Jimmy Ray Callison. Jimmy was a football star that graduated with the class of 1968, joining the Army on February 2, 1969. He attained the rank of Spec 4 Jimmy Ray Callison, U.S. Army Transportation Corps 64B 8th Transportation Group. He was assigned to a gun truck nickMAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

LIVING A DREAM

Dreams Do Come True Dreams of a Little Boy Turned Into a Magical Life by Bob Fraser I was born in Borger, Texas in 1951 and shortly after that, we moved to Bartlesville. For as far back as I can remember, I have loved the game of baseball. Now why would a five year old become a die-hard baseball fan and why would he become, and remain to this day, a die-hard New York Yankee fan? I am sure some of it was because of my Dad’s love for the game and that my older brother played, but for whatever reason, I fell in love with the game at age five — and in particular, the New York Yankees. I can still name the starting lineup from the Yankee teams of the 50’s and 60’s and yes, I have a wonderful collection of 1957 Yankee baseball cards in mint condition. As a little boy growing up, I had other interests and loves beyond baseball and the Yankees ... three of the biggest were WOOLAROC, which my Mom says I fell in love with at the age of four; DISNEY, due to the Mickey Mouse Club and the Wonderful World of Disney; and the ALAMO, thanks to Fess Parker and John Wayne. I can still remember the excitement of watching that gallant battle on our TV screen. As the years passed, many things changed, but those childhood dreams remained special to me. After graduating from The University of Tulsa in 1974, I entered the real world and went to work for the First National Bank of Bartlesville. Later I became part of a real estate development and management company in Tulsa. As the years went by, I still thought how great it would be to work for Disney as part of their management team, but I had a job that I thoroughly enjoyed and that dream would have to remain just that ... a dream. Our Tulsa company owned and managed independent senior living communities all over the country. About 20 years ago on one of our family trips to DisneyWorld, we toured the new community of Celebration, Florida, a planned community that was just being started by the Walt Disney Company right outside DisneyWorld. My wife asked me if Disney would be having a senior living community in Celebration, to which I quickly dismissed as a “silly idea.” However, I could not get that idea out of my head and so, on a whim, I wrote Michael Eisner — who at that time was the CEO of the Disney Company — knowing that the chances of it reaching his office were slim and the chance for a reply even less. Several weeks later, my secretary handed me a note that said, “Michael Eisner’s office called and they want you to call

them back.” Come to find out, they DID have an interest in senior housing, and that was the start of many trips to their Florida offices, working with them on what that senior project would look like. Over the next two years, I worked with their management team and we assembled a team of the best architects, landscape architects, interior design teams, and construction people in the country to design this unique community. Thanks to my wife’s great idea (which I wish I could claim as my own!), that senior community was built in the town of Celebration just as our team designed it. Several months later, I got a call from one of the Sr. VP’s at Disney Imagineering who I had worked closely with over the last year. He said Disney had an opening that he thought would be perfect for me and he hoped I would consider it. We made several more trips to Florida, looked at homes and toured schools, and I got a formal offer of employment from the Walt Disney Company! I turned them down. For some reason, I knew that “no” was the right answer. About a year later, The Frank Phillips Foundation contacted me and asked me if I would help prepare a strategy for them to help waken this sleeping treasure named Woolaroc. Interesting, first Disney and now Woolaroc. This time I said yes, and a consulting job turned into the opportunity of a lifetime when I accepted their offer to step in as CEO. I cannot imagine anyone loving their job more than I have ... the twists and turns that led me to this role have been amazing to say the least ... from laying on that bench in the Dome Room of the museum at the age of six to serving as their CEO ... call it magic, fate, or blind luck, I believe in it! Oh, one more thing ... eight years ago my phone rang at the office and it was a Texas company. They had heard a lot of good things about the changes and improvements that had been made at Woolaroc and asked if I would fly down to San Antonio and talk to them about their Executive Director’s job ... at the ALAMO. Simply put, for this little 5-year-old boy, dreams really do come true. Now I patiently wait for a call from the New York Yankees! MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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A GOOD WORD

Be Kind Kindness Benefits Both the Giver and the Receiver by Joe Colaw Proverbs 11:17 “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.” Not very long ago my wife, Dawn Marie, and I went out to eat at Murphy’s Steak House. Of course, most of you know, Murphy’s is a Bartlesville classic eatery. We were celebrating a special time and said, let’s order steak. The meal was delivered to our table in classic Murphy’s style and we thoroughly enjoying a delicious, tender steak meal. We concluded our dining and waited a rather lengthy time to receive our ticket to pay for our meal. Finally, I asked the wait staff if I could have my ticket so I could pay. The wait staff simply said, “Oh, didn’t anyone tell you, someone paid for your dinner!” Wow, were we ever surprised and immediately our discussion turned to “who would have done that?” While we do not know who purchased our meal, we felt extraordinarily indulged and blessed. The Bible reveals a wonderful truth, “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself” (Proverbs 11:17). So often, we think that kindness is something that is done for the benefit of another person, and, of course it is! But God does something with kindness so that it benefits the person demonstrating kindness! (A personal note: Whoever you were, thank you, you were very kind! Thank you!) In a March 28, 2021 web-published article by Dr. Caroline Leaf, Ph.D., she writes, “Kindness is a powerful weapon. Not only does it make the world a better and safer place for everyone, it also is a great way to improve intelligence and brain health! As renowned author Henry James once said, “three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” Dr. Leaf continues and reports that “research has shown that training yourself to be more kind (to both yourself and others!) can increase your positive emotions, sense of social connectedness and pro-social behaviors, while decreasing your negative feelings, stress and social biases, all of which improve your brain integration, balance and health.” In fact, the research reveals kindness can; “make us happy and give us a sense of purposefulness, make us more understanding and perceptive, help us think faster and more intelligently, make us feel safe and at peace, release hormones that contribute to our mood and overall wellbeing.” Visit https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/thesecret-ingredient-to-better-mental-health-how-kindness-changes-y our-brain-the-power-of-mirror-neurons to read the full article.

Wow, the Holy Scripture is correct, “a kind man benefits himself”! So … a good word for all of us is “be kind”! Frankly speaking, being kind to some is much easier than being kind to others. For example, it seems much harder to be kind to someone with whom you have just had an idealogical disagreement. Being kind to someone who was unkind to you, that is difficult! However, Jesus deals with that idea when he taught that we are to love even our enemies. In fact, Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? And if you greet only your brothers (friends) … don’t even the ungodly do that?” (Matthew 5:43-48) So … be kind to people you love and people you don’t. Be kind to family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, strangers, people who are like you, and people who are not at all like you — BE KIND! Be kind to the antagonistic neighbor! Be kind to the grumpy co-worker! Be kind to _____________, … you fill in the blank. Be kind, it is good for you, it is good for your family, it is good for your community, and it is good for your world. Start today! Be kind!

MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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bmonthly | MAY 2021

STARS IN OUR BACKYARD

Karl Patrick Krause Jesus Christ Superstardom by Debbie Neece, Bartlesville Area History Museum The depth of talent that has sprung from Bartlesville is unfathomable. In 1941, Tulsa born, Karl Patrick Krause made his debut with a cleft palate which required his first of nine corrective surgeries by the age of six-months. While many feared a speech deficit, Karl defeated the odds and crushed all doubters. In 1955, the Krause family moved to Bartlesville where his father, Otto, was employed at Phillips Petroleum Company. The family lived in the Limestone area and Karl attended Bartlesville public schools. Singing soprano in the church choir ended when Karl’s voice began to change. He proficiently played the violin but his staple was his competition winning vocals. While most teens struggled to “find” themselves, Karl was already pursuing his path, studying violin with Tosca Burger Kramer, whose father founded the Tulsa Civic Symphony, and with local vocal instructor Anita Woodring. Otto and Mary Krause divorced in 1958 and Otto moved away. Mary continued her address in Bartlesville and became the manager of Frye’s Fabric Shop at 221 E. Frank Phillips Blvd. and then the manager of Vandever’s at Eastland Shopping Center through 1978 when she retired but remained in Bartlesville until her passing in 1993. Although David Kazmeirzak was a 1958 College High School graduate and Karl a 1959 graduate, they were “musical brothers from different mothers.” In 1962, David and Karl were soloists at the Unity Center Church for the communion service and their relationship continued throughout their careers. David continued on his career path, playing violin and currently plays with the Tulsa and Bartlesville Symphony Orchestra’s. With the help of vocal scholarships, Karl attended Chicago’s American Conservatory of Music and the University of Chicago. The first step on his ladder to success came after graduation, when he moved to New York City, his path towards stardom. At just 6 years of age, Karl saw his first opera, Madama Butterfly, and set his goal of being an opera singer. For his seventh birthday, he was offered a bicycle or a recording of the Aida opera … he selected Aida. In 1964, his dream became reality as he graced the stage as Goro, a marriage broker, in the Italian opera Madama Butterfly with Chicago’s Apollo Opera Company. An honor he repeated

in 1969 as Yakuside. And, by the time Karl stepped upon the stage as “The Messenger” in Aida, he had all of the roles memorized. In 1971, Karl was a tenor with the New York City Opera when he was invited to perform at the Kansas City Lyric Theater. Life magazine dedicated six pages to the professional production of Jesus Christ Superstar where Karl was hailed in the magazine’s centerfold for his dual performances as Pilate and Herod, receiving a standing ovation. In his later life, Karl offered private vocal lessons allowing others to benefit from his professional career of fifty-one operatic performances and two musical recordings. At the age of 67, Karl Patrick Krause passed away October 10, 2008 at a Continuous Care facility in Tulsa and was returned to Bartlesville where he was laid to rest beside his mother in Memorial Park Cemetery. Bartlesville’s Superstar! MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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SPOTLIGHT

Aiming to Please Spiffy Bins Offers Environmental & Pet-Safe Power Washing Service by Tim Hudson Spiffy Bins sales director Tyler Ledbetter and business partner Deece Carter take power washing very seriously … and that’s a good thing. “We're trying to be affordable for everyone, and I wanted to make sure that our prices are extremely competitive and we are going to help people who feel like they can’t afford it,” he said of the company that provides a variety of power washing. It started off with dumpsters and trashcans, but eventually encompassed a variety of related jobs. “When people think about other services or power washing their house, they feel like that’s going to cost an arm and a leg. So we just want to be competitive and give good quotes and rates to people that are affordable.”

Tyler said that Spiffy Bins is also extremely conscious of pets and the environment. “We use environmentally-friendly chemicals. We want to make sure everything is pet-friendly and environment-friendly. I have kids and a dog, so the last thing I want is for someone to come to my house and have to worry about my dog and kids,” he said. Another attractive feature of Spiffy Bins is that they are an alllocal alternative to out-of-town companies. “There are some companies that offer these services, but they are all out of town. I think being locally-based is nice. We are going to provide our customers great service and we are going to meet their needs,” he said. “We are not going to simply tell you we will be there at 1 a.m. I’ll ask if a customer wants to start early in the morning or at night or whatever fits their needs. We are really going to show that the customer is the primary focus.” Spiffy Bins, as the name implies, were the initial focus of the company. Tyler says it turned out that customers started wanting some other services. “Dumpsters are our priority, but we are not going to cancel anything. I’ve had a couple of people that want us to wash their houses in addition to their trash cans,” he said. “It’s turned into more of a power wash-all.” Spiffy Bins is also open to contracts from businesses. “I will do residential and commercial contracts, one-timer jobs, and whatever I need to provide to be a one-stop shop,” he said. “There’s just no job too small or big. We’re here to service needs and provide environmentally-safe chemicals so people can feel confident — not only that it’s being done right, but it's also safe.” For more information or to schedule service, call either 913-3877486 or 918-350-1839, or email at Spiffybinz@gmail.com or deece.carter@gmail.com. MAY 2021 | bmonthly

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HELPING HANDS

Lions Club Bartlesville Club Has Been Serving for More Than 100 Years by Evelyn Hightower Many things may come to mind when you hear the words “Lions Club” in Bartlesville, such as eyeglasses recycling, pancake breakfasts, and Christmas tree sales. But we do so much more! Our motto is “We Serve”, and the Bartlesville Lions Club has been doing that for the past 100 years! When the initial Lions in Bartlesville formed under the first president, George V. Keeler, in May, 1921, they were positioning the club for growth beyond anyone’s imagination. Eventually four clubs developed from this — Downtown, Green Country, Limestone, and Tuxedo clubs. In 2019, however, the four clubs, experiencing waning involvement, decided to join together and a new 501(c)(3) organization named “Bartlesville Lions” emerged. Lions Clubs International is comprised of 45,000 clubs with 1.4 million members worldwide, and is the world’s largest service organization. It was founded by Chicago businessman Melvin Jones, in 1917, who stated, “You can’t get very far until you start doing something for somebody else,” a guiding principle which is honored today by all Lions. At the LCI convention in 1925, Helen Keller spoke to members and pleaded with them to become “Knights for the Blind,” which they gladly embraced and adopted support for blind and visually impaired people as their main mission. As a result, Lions introduced: • •

•

“White Cane” program, 1930, to promote the white walking stick, safety, laws, and awareness for blind pedestrians OK Lions Eye Bank, Oklahoma City, established in 1957 as the state’s only dedicated tissue recovery organization for corneal procurement, transplantation and research (www.oklahomalionseyebank.org) “Lions KidSight USA” program which screens children (6 mo. 18 years) for several diseases of the eye, using a special camera and a non-invasive technique. When a possible problem is detected, we refer them to a doctor. (www.lionskidsightusa.org) Prescription eyeglasses and readers are recycled through drop boxes (Eastland and 75 Wal-Greens) or call the club number

Some past community projects also include: construction of Sooner Park pavilion and disc golf course, kidney dialysis center, maintenance of “Tuxedo Park” next to the club building, assistance with eye exams and prescription eyeglasses, Flags for First Graders, Medical Health Screening Unit (at Day of Hope event), and disaster relief. Our main fundraising comes from pancake breakfasts, rental of the club building, and of course, Christmas tree sales! Some of the groups who benefit from our funds are Pack the Backpacks, Bridges Out of Poverty, Kiddie Park, Mary Martha Outreach, Concern, and Big Brothers/Big Sisters — and we do more than send a check! We work alongside our community partners and have fun while serving!

Meadows of Hope, in Perkins, is a ranch with five homes built by Oklahoma Lions to care for both girls and boys in the foster care system. MOH strives to keep sibling groups together and gives them a stable home life to help build solid relationships for life. LCI gives away a brand new pickup every year through “Cowboy Cadillac” raffle ticket sales. Profits go to benefit Meadows of Hope. (www.lionsmoh.org). •

Rent our Community Center for your party, family reunion, or office/club meeting, with a convenient park next door for the kids!

•

Join our club and be a part of making Bartlesville greater! Meetings are 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 6:30 p.m., visitors are welcome!

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2900 SE Tuxedo Blvd. (message phone) 918.331.9710

100-year celebration is a big accomplishment! Our present? We want to give a birthday present to Bartlesville! We recently raised $10,000 to qualify for a $15,000 grant from Ted & Melody Lyon Foundation for a beautification project for our park on Tuxedo! New playground borders, safety wood fill, slide, and adult fitness equipment is being added to the current equipment and basketball court. As our logo features two lions facing different directions, Lions Club continues to draw pride from our past heritage in Bartlesville,, and we look forward to the future for many opportunities to serve our community! MAY 2021 | bmonthly

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK

by Jay Webster

I am a writer.

sensitive than most, maybe to the point of being tortured or at the very least “touched.” This was certainly the romantic image I clung to in high school. I scribbled lines with the intensity of a chain-smoking Hemingway, capped with the hair of James Dean. I wanted to be in Dead Poets Society and stand defiantly on my desk while I raised my fist against the fascism of secondary education and the oppression of letter grades. But intensity, it turns out, is not a direct link to brilliance. And having to be heard does not guarantee you have something to say.

By that I mean I earn at least a portion of my living writing. Obviously, I wrote before I was paid for it. Back in high school I wrote for the school newspaper. In those years, I also filled notebooks with thick, angst-ridden, hormone-laden poetry. But writing became an occupation when someone actually paid me for it. (I will say, however, I was able to woo my wife with that mawkish poetry, so in that sense I was at least rewarded for my efforts.) ... Alcohol fuels writers (and addiction of all kinds really) There are a lot of assump… Besides, I don’t like to think of whiskey as a vice. I pretions about writers. Readers fer to think of it as an Emotional Support Beverage. How imagine us as deeper or more much support I need simply depends on the day. 76

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In my experience, being a writer has less to do with sensitivity and looking like Ethan Hawke, and more to do with

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK being observant and aware. Writers tend to pay attention. But to is certainly not it. It’s hard to sell writing as a vocation when what? Well, it depends on the writer. Some watch the comings that’s the promo poster. and goings of the world around them with the compulsion of an Some people like to view writers as more sophisticated. They astrologer scanning the universe for lost planets. Some are like envision people in tweed jackets with leather patches on the painters studying human norms and ticks so they can replicate elbows and turtle neck sweaters, punctuated by pipe smoke. them on the blank canvas of copy paper. And others follow These literary savants get gleesports with evangelical zeal in ful gratification by correcting I wanted to be in Dead Poets Society and stand defiantly the hopes of putting you in the your grammar. While I do smoke on my desk while I raised my fist against the fascism of bleachers with them. It’s all the a pipe (a tobacco pipe just to be secondary education and the oppression of letter grades. heightened skill of observation. clear), I will never be accused of But intensity, it turns out, is not a direct link to brilliance. It’s only the subject (and audibeing in the (not so) Secret And having to be heard does not guarantee you have ence) that changes. Grammar Police. I would never something to say. want to put an editor out of a job. Related to this romanticized image is the caricature of the manic writer, so driven by their Unemployment is for writers anyway. The misery of hunger muse that they must write all the time. We have ink-stained finand heartbreak fuels us. We can’t write without it. Also alcohol ger tips, like addicted smokers inhaling from Bic pens. We’re (and addiction of all kinds really) … or so the stereotype goes. never without a worn notepad stowed away in some pocket holI’m not committed enough for addiction. A drug habit uses too ster. And if for some reason we find ourselves without our much of your disposable income (and teeth). Besides, I don’t like trusted tablets, it’s not beyond us to burst frantically into a coffee to think of whiskey as a vice. I prefer to think of it as an Emoshop, thrust ourselves onto the table of some day-sleepers siptional Support Beverage. How much support I need simply ping their lattes (which despite the caffeine are powerless to depends on the day. awaken their souls) and demand they surrender their cocktail napkins … so we enlightened scribes can scribble down some Writing is essentially a lonely pursuit. At least it is for me. If divinely-inspired words before they surely evaporate into the you ever see me in a bar or coffee shop, staring into a laptop meaningless, vapid atmosphere of this common existence. with headphones on, it’s because I’m filling my ears with sound canceling brown noise. It helps cancel out the effects of being The truth is while I do treat inspiration like a jewel from in a crowded place, while still allowing me to be in a crowded Heaven (typing frantically in the notes app of my phone — which place. is so unsexy, as all technology is for tortured souls), writing in itself is still one of the hardest disciplines in which I involve Then occasionally you finish something and you read over it, myself. In most cases, I approach maybe even laugh to yourself or Some people like to view writers as more sophisticated. writing like running. enjoy it as if someone else They envision people in tweed jackets with leather wrote it and your smudgy little About the time I turned 30, I patches on the elbows and turtle neck sweaters, punctufingerprints aren’t on it. In those decided I needed to complete a ated by pipe smoke. These literary savants get gleeful moments, it’s like you finished “feat of strength” to prove I was gratification by correcting your grammar. While I do the race and you revel in the still youthful and not nearly on smoke a pipe (a tobacco pipe just to be clear), I will never feeling of “having run.” You want the doorstep of middle age. I be accused of being in the (not so) Secret Grammar to casually walk around with decided on a marathon. I sought Police. I would never want to put an editor out of a job. your “finisher’s medal” on … so advice, bought shoes, and observant friends will see and began the prescribed running take note of what you’ve done. “Oh, hey. I saw your column in regimen. I hated every minute of it. There was not one step that the magazine. Very cute. It made me laugh.” didn’t come without negotiations. Every first mile, I was convinced of at least three injuries. By the second mile, I imagined Then with your the press conferences I would give as the only known survivor soul properly fed for of toenail cancer — which I had developed from overuse. In subthe moment — like an sequent miles, I would kill the imaginary person who created the athlete that just carboterm “Runner’s High.” It does not exist. That’s your body shutting loaded after a workout, down and delirium setting in. The ONLY thing I liked about runyou think — “I love ning was having run. Nothing made me feel the way running did being a writer. Please, — when I was done. don’t make me do it That’s the way writing is most days for me. It’s called a discipline for a reason. I have to make myself sit down. I have to seatbelt myself in front of my screen. I have to resist every distraction (text messages, emails, hunger, the urge to suddenly get up and clean the garage). All the while I am certain that I’m going blind, going senile, developing finger cancer from overuse, and proving that I am indeed a horrible writer and always have been. And if I have ever written anything worth reading, well this

again.” This was fun, friends. You’re such great listeners. I’ll look for you again next month. Cheers. MAY 2021 | bmonthly

GRAND OPENING New Bank, Familiar Faces

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MAY 26

BUSINESS

Regent Bank Bank Excited About New Bartlesville Location by Mike Wilt Baseball Hall of Famer Satchel Paige once said, “Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.” It hasn’t taken long for Regent Bank to gain a significant presence in Bartlesville after opening a branch office in March of this year. Operating out of a totally renovated building at 422 S. Dewey Avenue downtown, Regent Bank has grown quickly. “We are so excited to about this new location,” said Sean Kouplen, Regent Bank Chairman and CEO. “Regent Bank started 15 minutes away in Nowata, and we always wanted to expand to Bartlesville.” Regent Bank was founded in 1898 in Nowata and was acquired by Regent Capital Corporation eleven years ago. The bank has five other locations in Oklahoma and Missouri. The bank combines state-of-the-art, online mobile banking tools with awardwinning customer service. As one of the region's premiere business banks with almost $900 million in assets, the new branch represents an important addition for Regent and the Bartlesville community. Regent specializes in non-profit business banking and offers excellent rates and no fees to these important organizations. Regent also offers a healthcare banking division to serve medical professionals including dentists, optometrists, veterinarians, and doctors. Regent Bank is also a preferred SBA lender and offering fast, in-house approvals. “We believe Bartlesville has found Regent Bank’s brand of banking to be very personalized and unique," said Bartlesville Market President Trevor Dorsey. “Our brand of customer service is second to none, and we enjoy fostering relationships to better serve Bartlesville and Washington County.” A native of northwest Arkansas, Dorsey has been with Regent Bank since

2017 and has 25 years in the industry. With a long history of community engagement, Dorsey currently serves on the Bartlesville City Council and the board of directors for the Bartlesville Regional Chamber of Commerce. Dorsey and his wife, Beth, have three sons, and they own a small cow-calf operation.

manager), Bobby Brown (deposit services representative), Brooke Williams (teller), Charlie Pilkington (sales and business development), Jeannie Strachan (executive assistant/credit administration), Megan Spear (mortgage loan servicing), and Sandy Moore (board secretary/operations).

"We try to be very innovative with our approach to banking,” Dorsey said. “We also focus heavily on adding value to our clients through programs such as our Executive Luncheon Series, Regent Elite networking events, and our Faith in Business breakfasts.”

“In total, our team has a combined 64 years of service to Regent Bank and around twice those years in the banking industry,” Dorsey said.

Also serving the local branch is longtime banker Hank Hamilton. “We coaxed him out of retirement to serve in commercial and mortgage lending,” Dorsey said. Other members of the Regent Bank staff include Trayson Stewart (branch

A grand opening will be held on Wednesday, May 26. Following a ribbon cutting at 10 a.m., a cookout featuring hamburgers and hotdogs will commence for those who visit during the lunch hour. KWON Radio will broadcast live and there will be giveaways throughout the day. Regent Bank is open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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SUMMER FUN

A Line-Up of Fun Unity Square Sets Summer Outdoor Line-Up One of the things that made 2020 bearable in Bartlesville was the new outdoor venue Tower Center at Unity Square. For 2021, organizers are eager to bring a line-up that not only brings people together, but allows the community to celebrate the hope of 2021. “We are excited to announce the Sizzlin’ Summer Series at Unity Square,” said Val Callaghan, managing director of the Bartlesville Community Center and Unity Square. This year’s lineup features Oklahoma bands like The Get Down Band and Zodiac; our community’s own Bartlesville Symphony Orchestra accompanied by a dazzling Laser Light show; and local DJ Thomas Bridges for karaoke and a glowin-the-dark dance party. “The great news,” added Callaghan, “is the entertainment is not just for one weekend, but with one concert a month, the fun will last all summer long!” Here’s the the summer line-up sure to make summer sizzle: On Friday, June 4, the first event will showcase the new interactive art and water feature, Native Color. Bartlesville will celebrate the installation of Artist Amie Jacobsen’s beautiful, stainless Indian Blanket flowers, the newest artwork to grace the urban greenspace. After

the unveiling, guests can get moving with crowd favorites, The Get Down Band. The event will include food trucks, food and beverages from Copper Bar, and flower basket sales. Also available will be Local Honey, Roots + Blooms fresh flowers, and Moxie on 2nd with honey bee themed items for sale (a nod to the bees that are a part of Jacobsen’s beautiful art installation). There will also be inflatables for kids and the Bartlesville Art Association will have a fun kids activity. Our Sizzlin’ Summer Series for July will celebrate with an event titled Hometown Heroes. The celebration takes place Friday, July 9 from 6 - 10 p.m. Organizers plan to honor our local law enforcement and healthcare workers with an incredible music from the Bartlesville Symphony Orchestra and a laser light show. Food trucks and Copper Bar will be available and the summer heat will be a perfect time to enjoy the Bartlesville Fire Department fire truck for water play. There will be

red, white, and blue glow necklaces for everyone and the Bartlesville Public Library will have lawn games to play during the evening. August brings Salsa North of Tulsa on Friday, August 6 from 6 - 9 p.m. Get ready for All Star Ballroom and their Salsa Demo, followed by the fun and always entertaining Zodiac Band. As usual, food trucks and Copper Bar will be available, as well as a Salsa Making Contest, samples and salsa sales, plus salsa dancing lessons for kids and adults. The series will close out with Glow in the Park on Friday, September 3 from 6 9 p.m. Unity Square staff will have a DJ and karaoke with Thomas Bridges, food trucks, Copper Bar, and lots of glow in the dark giveaways for the children. All events are free to the public and family-friendly! Bring your lawn chairs or picnic blanket and come party with US all summer long! For more information, visit unitysquarebville.com or call 918-337-2787. MAY 2021 | bmonthly

LET FREEDOM RING

Memorial Day Beginnings Honor Those Who Gave Their Lives by Jay Hastings What we recognize as Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day. It began during the American Civil War, with communities around the nation holding springtime tributes to the fallen, practicing the ancient custom of decorating soldiers’ graves with flowers. The celebrations began as early as 1860, well before the end of the war in 1865. It is unclear exactly where the tradition started. The Department of Veteran Affairs recognizes that approximately 25 places claim to have originated the holiday. Some say it was Southern wives who first decorated soldiers’ graves well before the Civil War’s end. But, like many topics, “facts” are clouded by myths, legends, and disagreements — in this instance, between the Northern and Southern states as to where and how the tradition began. Northern states quickly adopted a specific day for the annual Decoration Day, which beginning in 1868 was held on May 30th. Conversely, Southern States held celebratory events on various dates until the beginning of World War I. While Decoration Day was originally known for recognizing those killed during the Civil War, that gradually changed during World War I, when the tradition shifted to recognize all soldiers killed in battle.

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The title Memorial Day became more the fashion after World War II; however, the name was not official until several years later. On June 28, 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved four holidays, including Memorial Day, from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a convenient three-day weekend. The change moved Memorial Day from May 30th to the last Monday in May. At first this caused some confusion and an unwillingness to comply among some states, but eventually the law — including its impact on Memorial Day, was enacted with practice beginning in 1971. Memorial Day has endured as a holiday most businesses observe, as many see it as the unofficial start to summer. Accordingly, some Veterans organizations have advocated a return to the original date of May 30th because they feel its true meaning was undermined by the change to a convenient three-day weekend. In 2000, Congress passed the National Monument of Remembrance Act, asking people to stop and remember those lost to war at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day. The flag of the United States is to be raised briskly to the top of the staff at dawn and then solemnly lowered to the half-staff position, where it is to remain until noon, before being raised to full staff for the remainder of the day. Each year, there is a National Memorial Day Concert, which takes place on the West Lawn of the United States Capitol. The concert is broadcast on various media outlets including PBS and NPR. This year’s concert will be held Sunday May 30, 2021, at 7:00PM CST. Regardless of differing political beliefs, including those about war, it is important to teach our children the true meaning of Memorial Day. As Americans, we should not lose focus of the sacrifices made by our country’s soldiers. You do not have to walk very far in most cemeteries these days to find a memorial to someone who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Please take time to honor and recognize the men and women who gave their lives for this great nation and our freedom. I challenge each of you to take a moment with the children in your lives to teach them the true meaning of Memorial Day by actively participating.

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