HABIT Everyone has habits and sometimes I think habits are just automated responses to the pain of existence. BUDDIST SHIT According to Buddhists life=suffering, which you might think is pretty depressing but it's not a statement saying all life is suffering because you have been happy. Like noise is disturbing by melodies aren’t, when your sick you suffer but when you're healthy you're not. It's about contrast ayy? So like, why say life is suffering? It's about acceptance that there is suffering. According to the sutras suffering is; “impermanence” and because everything is impermanent and ever changing, life is suffering. When things change suffering happens. Anyway, fuck this I ain't a buddhist so I'm not going to pretend to understand or explain let's just move on. HABIT 2 Ok, so we all have habits and I think habits are there because you don't want to be. You want control in a world where you have no control, no choice, no voice.
You were born into this shitty world, and you have to follow the rules of the part of the world you were born in and follow it's culture and be a thing within the confindes of the rules. Fuck that, no body asked me if I wanted to be Australian or follow the rules. Maybe I want to live in the bush and make my own way but I can't because if I do they'll put me in these cages we call jails. Anyway, tangent much? HABIT 3 I have a few habits that I recognise. Up until the last time I did it I used to cut my hair as a way of having control of my life. Like change man, change is pain yo. Everything moves around you at the speed of light and you lose it if you can't keep up.So I cut my hair and I had control of that. Another thing I realise I do a lot when I want to feel creative, like I'm actually doing something is draw shitty self portraits. It's self explorative idk anyway here are some shitty self portraits, drawings and word ones.
Dead hair in there Absent abscess, on my inner thigh. Tilling soil, I failed, you didn't sprout, so tilled yourself. Radical Radicle, Mr Absent Abscess, on my inner thigh. You till yourself, and had to die.
(Col) (Re) Lapse, Relax? 1- Collapse
That's it, whatever. I give up. I give in. 2- Relapse
I purchase, don't care. I pick up. I breathe in. 3- Relax
Step 3 does not exist
Rainy Day Daydreams The pitter-patter of rain drops gently rapping on the tarp covering the patio. Like the pat on the head from a Grandfather not ready to shake your hand.
Granny Swag An old women eats prunes from a plastic dome. She wears young people clothing; black and white horizontal striped hoody, black skinny jeans and flip-flops. I’m sitting, smoking. I look up, smile. She laughs, *nuh-het* and swags away happily.
Turbulence I try not to let empathetic turbulence vex me, I stay out of crowded areas. I don't read the news or watch TV. But when I'm around you I can't help but put you on - wear you like a mask. I'd walk in your shoes but you're two sizes too big, or too small.
Intuition What is your intuition based on? Sub-concious fact, or a mental muscle memory? Tune into the collective network, but don't let yourself be overwhelmed, by the trillions of electrons like a social bomb, casting a tsunamic-wave down the River Styx.
Rules Rules are Tools, used by the hand that holds the hammer against the nail.
View I want a view like a tree-sea stuck in time, and listen to the birds tell DNA stories as the sun grows big and hot.
Early Morning Wheeze, hack, attack, draw back. Swig caffeinated oat milk, and hot water, between bursts. Tight chest feeling, eases slightly, and crawls from lung to throat until it nests on tongue, and brain. Whatever it takes to ease the morning pain, to ease the morning insane, to keep the mornings the same. It's cold, the sun light is on but the warmth is pending. Early mornings.
Brake Run Sifting through the ash leaves black rivets on my fingerprint. Shifting through the ash leaves black rivets on my life print
A Few Haiku 1. ~Ghost Weed~ I smell a phantom wafting from my cigarette. Too good to be true. 2. ~Itchy Dog~ Old dog makes slop sounds, mouthing at her legs to stop a cunt of an itch. 3. ~5-7-5~ Haiku’s are more than, just five and seven and five. We have simplified. 4. ~Organic Urine Sack~ Full bladders are the, devils motivator, I gotta take a piss. 5. ~Done~ That’s enough writing, or maybe it’s not enough? Vidya games instead.
Dracula's Glass Cage Rendezvous, Nosferatu. Tell me what to do. For I am sick, and I am tired. I don’t know what to do. Rendezvous, Nosferatu. I’ll tell you what to do. You’ve made me sick, you’ve made me tired, get sunburnt.
EREMITE Do you feel a sudden sickness in your spine? Like some ungrounded abdomic primordial swarm? I feel it when you feel it; a synchronic stab via blue-tooth, an idiosyncratic trait, both abominable to the ignorant, and a blessed stigmata to the attempter.