28th September 2021
ISSUE1
BATHTIME Aresen
UP
minty fresh Nature is Healing: Clueless Freshers are Back
Kicking off the week with a strong smell of toilet cleaner
(vodka), all our freshers were out in full force with their multicolour t-shirts. Well done if you didn't mistake a Quads chap for a pizza delivery driver. If one more fresher asks us where the queue for the arena is, we'll be sure to send them to the Upper East side of campus...entirely the wrong direction you lot clearly didn't do DofE, sigh). Though the security guards looked far from impressed when trying to stop grown men from wetting themselves in the ticketless, toiletless queue, the mood in the accommodation blocks was sky high - much
like the towers of sourz that adorm the kitchen windows already If you didn't already know that the Chip Shop Boys would reprise their annual gig. you'll be surprised to know that no
fresher actually knows any of their songs...with one searching for the Chop Shop Boys' on Spotify to absolutely no avail
Talking of the Chip Shop Boys, rumour has it they spent the night at Nando's, making them fashionably late for their gig on campus (Chicken Shop Boys, anyone?).
Wanted: Rogue Ben, Where
How many Eastwood freshers does it take to solve a sudoku? Not enough, clearly
Art Thou?
Has the Quads Hatred Died Down?
All evening campus has been running rife with rumours, gossip, and scandal, all of which somehow
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, show your colours night was an entirely different affair
surround a mysterious enigma named Ben. Nothing
For some reason, any accommodation-based hatred
more is known as yet, but allegedly this controversial maverick threatened to clean up his flat before he even moved in, got kicked out of the SU, and to top it all off, was put to bed, before resurrecting like the
was directed at our red-tee collective, who had
weird Jesus we didn't ask for. All we can say to you
guys is: interrogate your nearest Ben.
done nothing wrong besides blocking up the car park in mummy's Range Rover on arrivals
wekend. In an unprecedented turn of events,
though, city freshers have emerged from decades of obscurity to begin a chant against literally everyone else - "campus are cnts"- a battle we're
not sure they'll win. If a city fresher complains and no-one listens, did they ever really make a sound?
Follow along for all the behind the scenes action unibathtime Have any tea to spill? Drop us a line at su-bath-editor@bath acuk
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