Bay Area Kids, Feb/March 2009

Kids

EAST BAY EDITION

BayArea

Love

a m ode r n r eso u r ce f o r m ode r n f a m i l i es

A balancing act in three parts

Start planning with our [Absolutely] Essential Summer Camp Guide

FEB/MARCH 2009

$3.95

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PLUS

» One Night Stand: five local amorous getaways » Destination: California Academy of Sciences » Eco-friendly toys, games, and stuffed animals

Wanna make kids smile?

Send them to The Taylor Family Foundation’s Camp Arroyo

See Who’s Coming to Camp in 2009* Our Mission Statement: Preser ving the wellness and enhancing the quality of life for children in Northern California with life threatening and chronic illnesses, developmental disabilities, and youth at-risk through unique therapeutic experiences and support.

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January

• Hemophilia Foundation of Northern California

March

• Diabetic Youth Foundation (DYF)

April

• Jack’s Camp for Pediatric Brain Tumor

May

• Camp Hope (Bereavement)

June

• California Fairplay (Asthma) • Camp Breathe Easy (CHO-Asthma) • Camp Wonder (Children’s Skin Disease) • Gut Busters (Crohn’s, Colitis and IBD)

July

• Camp Sunburst (Pediatric HIV/AIDS) • Camp Taylor (Congenital Heart Disease) • Celiac Camp (High allergy to any wheat product)

August

• Exceptional Needs Net work (Autistic & Developmentally Delayed) • Kara’s - Camp Erin (Bereavement) • Camp Opehay (Bi-polar Disorder) • Camp Sickle Cell • Jack’s Camp for Pediatric Brain Tumor

September

• Little Heros Firefighters Burn Institute (Preschool Burn Sur vivors)

November

• Camp Hope (Bereavement Camp)

At no cost to the child or their family

*

If you have a child with special needs, please contact us:

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Bay Area Kids

925-455-5118 • www.ttff.org • TTFF@ttff.org

BAKidsMagazine.com

The Taylor Family Foundation • 5555 Arroyo Road, Livermore, CA 94550 • Tax ID 94-3262932

what’s inside

good stuff

the regular

Kids

EAST BAY EDITION

4 editor’s letter

BayArea

Love

A mODErN rESOurCE fOr mODErN fAmiliES

A passion play

6 to-do list

A bAlAncing Act in three pArtS

Calendar of events Start planning with our

7 toy box

Sustainable, organic, eco-friendly toys, games, and stuffed animals.

8 local destination

[Absolutely] Essential Summer Camp Guide

Love: A Balancing Story in Three Acts

California Academy of Sciences

FEB/MARCH 2009

$3.95

w w w. b a k i d s m a g a z i n e . c o m

PLUS

» One Night Stand: five local amorous getaways » Destination: California Academy of Sciences » Eco-friendly toys, games, and stuffed animals

22 A balanced love life needs to include love for oneself in the equation, along with family, and spouse.

book shelf 10 Book reviews for all ages

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summer camp 12 planning manual

contents

A how-to guide for parents absolutely essential 16 summer camp and

Kids

activity guide

What’s your child doing this summer? sweet relief 20 Five romantic escapades within an hour’s drive from your backyard. the back page 30 Diary of a suburban queen

Kids

BayArea

P.O. Box 30442 Walnut Creek, CA 94598 BAKidsMagazine.com

February/March 09 | East Bay

BayArea

To Love, To Hold, To Feed

26

Balancing two children while also managing one of San Francisco’s landmark restaurants keeps these Berkeley parents busy, but they still find time to focus on each other and their family.

Publisher/Editor Everard Strong

Writers Cathy Jetter, Kelly Pollard

Sales Everard Strong, Kathryn Sibley

Photography Jennifer Chaney JChaney.com

Volume 1, Number 2 Feb/March 2009 BAKidsMagazine.com

online Visit BAKidsMagazine.com to find extra stories, product reviews, an online forum, videos, music, subscription and advertising information, and more.

Contact sales sales@bakidsmagazine.com estrong@bakidsmagazine.com Contact editorial editor@bakidsmagazine.com

Bay Area Kids

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up front

photo: Jennifer Chaney

editor’s letter

a passion play do what you love. That is the cliche an-

4 small talk

sound check This issue’s playlist

The Killers, “Spaceman” Oasis, “The Shock of the Lightening” OAR, “Shattered” “Oh Fortuna” (from Carmina Burana) T Rex, “Cosmic Dancer” Echo and the Bunnymen, “Dancing Horses” Monster Magnet, “Space Lord” Pete Townsend, “Slit Skirts” Jay Z/Linkin Park, “Encore” Flo Rida, “Low” Fire Inc., “Tonight is What it Means To Be Young” Foo Fighters, “Long Road to Ruin” Simon/Garfunkel, “Cecilia”

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Bay Area Kids

swer given to any entrepreneur or someone looking to start their own business. “Do what you love and the rest will follow.”

As trite as that phrase has become, it’s the core reason behind Bay Area Kids’ existence. This magazine combines three things that I love, in no particular order: my two kids (God, I love ‘em), magazines, and the Bay Area/East Bay. I should include a fourth (and probably most important) love: my beautiful—and very patient—wife, without whom the first item on the above list would not have been possible.

The goal behind Bay Area Kids was to combine all of the above elements into a publication that is much needed in our communities. From the feedback received from readers, we’re on the right track. This is only our second issue, granted, but baby steps have been taken, and longer strides will soon follow. Sure we’re a bit wobbly, but we’re getting our footing, have gingerly let go of the coffee table, and are now hoofing it toward the sofa.

Speaking of love, this issue tackles that word head on. The classical greek language had four “words” to describe their ideals of love: Eros (amorous), Storge (family), Philia (community), and Agape (divine).

We present our three interpretations of love (for family, for self, for one’s partner) and by asking local experts, explain how our lives need elements of all three to create harmony in our households (page 22).

For those who might need some eros in their life, we provide you with five adult-only getaways, perfect for ... well, you can figure it out (page 20). For a real-life case study, we interviewed Berkeley partners Gayle Pirie and John Clark, who work hard at both keeping the fires burning at home with their two children, and at Foreign Cinema, the San Francisco gustatory landmark (page 26).

There are plenty more treats in store for you in this issue, so put the magazine down, put the children to bed, pour a glass of your favorite Cab (which happens to be what I’m sipping), and raise a toast to love, life, and everything in between. Okay, now you can turn the page.

The Cover Our Cover Model: Eight-month old Christopher is a very happy and content baby, and very curious about the world around him. The Danville native likes playing peek-a-boo and loves to clap his hands.

Photographer: “This is not the first time I’ve worked with this little guy; I was lucky enough to take his newborn pictures where he gave me some of his best work. It’s amazing to see how much he has changed in seven months … he is just so happy and cuddly.” —Jennifer Chaney. See more of Jennifer’s work at JChaney.com

Your Turn Have your baby, son, or daughter featured in upcoming issues of Bay Area Kids magazine! We are going to be including a photo section starting with our next issue of this magazine, so send us your best shots—whether they’re funny, pensive, fashionable, or silly. Photos should be 300 DPI and sent to editor@bakidsmagazine.com.

Please include child’s name (and last initial), age of child (and sex), and city of residence, along with a description of what the child is doing, why you took the shot, what clothes they’re wearing, or anything else you’d like to add. Inclusion in the printed magazine is not guaranteed, but all photos will be posted online as well.

Thanks for reading!

Everard G Strong Publisher, Editor, and Father estrong@bakidsmagazine.com BAKidsMagazine.com

letterbox Congratulations on your first issue and for filling a need in regional magazine publishing that had not been identified!

Issue one is slick and on target. Your feature, “Return of a Classic,” (page 12) made me want to BART right down to Ghiradelli Square for a fresh hot fudge sundae.

Since we both share the name of Strong, I feel compelled to correct your grammar. You wrote in the second paragraph of that story, “less and less opportunities.”

“Fewer” is the determiner used with count nouns such as opportunities; “less” is used with non-count nouns as in use with mass nouns—less chocolate, less money, less time.

Keep up the good work, and I hope your advertisers support you. I will support Ghiradelli as soon as possible, as my mouth is still watering from the ad on page 7.

Sincerely, Dianne M. Strong, Ed.D., Retired Associate Professor Department of English & Applied Linguistics, University of Guam (visiting Walnut Creek) EDITOR’S RESPONSE: Thank you for supporting our advertisers. They believe in this magazine, and that means a lot.

Please send any comments, suggestions, photos, bribes, story ideas, cookies, pecan pies, and other treats to editor@bakidsmagazine.com.

Congratulations!

Three lucky winners were picked (at random) in our Holiday Prize giveaway.

They were: Grand Prize: Jerri Brummett First Prize: Michael Ernst Second Prize: Ruth Donner Each person received a gift box with great prizes from Ghirardelli, Chabot Planetarium, Chloe & Jane, Pose Prints, East Bay Music Together, and more.

Congratulations to you three, and thank you to all our sponsors and all the readers who entered. Don’t worry, we’ve got more great contests coming your way. Stay tuned …

February/March 09 | East Bay

Bay Area Kids

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to do list

calendar

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2009 Young Audiences. Directed by Nina Meehan. Tickets: $14$18 Front Row Theater, 10711 Bollinger Canyon Rd., San Ramon, (925) 794-3200. SanRamonCommunityTheatre.org

»

March 14 Abby and the Pipsqueaks These local musicians are promoting their new CD. If you have yet to experience Abby and her Pipsqueaks, they are a talented band with fun songs that range from funk to blues to banjo-strumming ditties. Support your local music while letting your children discover the joy of live music.

Adults $5, Kids $4, Family Pass $12 (+3). La Pena, 3105 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley, (510) 653-9450, AbbyMusic.com

FOR LOVERS ONLY

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The Sippy Cups February 7 In their high-energy show, the San Francisco Bay Area band guides parents in making music with their children, teach children how to resolve conflicts non-violently, and educates and entertains them about the wonders of the environment, all because “it’s great fun.” Tickets: Adult: $18, $14, $10; Children: $14, $10, $6. Amador Theater, 1155 Santa Rita Rd., Pleasanton

play dates

Australia’s Circus Oz Through Februay 8 Celebrating their thirtieth year, these circus performers from “Down Under” do more than just juggle and ride unicycles.

Their combination of Aussie wit, breath-taking feats, and live music make this show a delight for all family members.

Tickets: $26, $38, and $48. Zellerbach Hall, UC Berkeley (across from the Musical Offering, 2430 Bancroft Ave.) (510) 642-9988, CalPerformances.org

These listings are provided as a free service to our readers.

Submit your event to us (include place, date, and description) online at events@ BAKidsMagazine.com

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Bay Area Kids

My Little Sweetheart: Valentine Dinner & Dance Party February 13 Include your children in the Valentine’s Day magic with this special dinner designed just for them. Children under two are welcome. Tickets: $10. Pleasant Hill Community Center, 320 Civic Dr., Pleasant Hill, (925) 676-5200.

PleasantHillRec.com.

Pipi Longstocking Through February 22 A childhood favorite for generations, Astrid Lindgren’s story about an unusual girl, her horse, and their many adventures, is brought to the local stage by the Active Arts Theatre for

Animal Attraction February 13–14 The Oakland Zoo is hosting an event this Valentines that is strictly Adults Only. Ever wonder about the love lives of animals? Do they really fall in love? This Valentine’s Day, surprise your sweetie with something unique—an animal encounter you both will never forget. Join the zoo for their “Animal Amore” night, and learn about the courting, mating, and child-rearing habits of some of the zoo’s most amorous animals. All attendees must be 21 or over. Alcohol will be served along with appetizers, desserts, and drinks.

There will of course be live animals, an erotic tour of the zoo, and prizes. Pre-registration is required. $25 for Zoo Members, $30 for Non-Members. For more information about the tours, adult evenings, and reservations call (510) 632-9525 ext 204, or go online to OaklandZoo.org Fantastic Voyage February 14–15 Chabot Space and Science Center is once again hosting their popular Valentine’s Day space missions. You and your special partner will take part in a simulated space mission to the Red Planet, when your spacecraft is stranded and only by working as a team with other couples will you be able to return safely to Earth. Lots of hands-on fun—and their simulated spacecraft is out of this world. Once safely home, couples can celebrate with some tasty chocolates, a fizzy Martian beverage, and a souvenir of their trip into outer space. Members: $80/ couple, regular $85/couple. This event fills up quickly, so reserve your seats today. Chabot Space and Science Center, (510) 336-7421, ChabotSpace.org More events available on our online calendar. Check it out at BAKidsmagazine.com BAKidsMagazine.com

toy box

eco-conscious toys and games Thanks to the growing interest in renewable energy, sustainable production methods, reusability programs, and organic textile manufacturing, discerning parents can have the best of both worlds: quality toys, games, and stuffed animals for their children—and a guilt-free eco-conscience. We’ve compiled some great products that’ll put a smile on your children’s faces and keep a few trees standing at the same time. Your grandchildren thank you.

ragamuffin kitty Soft, cuddly, all-natural, and environmental friendly to boot, Crispina’s Ragamuffin Kitty is handmade by artisans in Massachusetts using scraps of recycled wool sweaters. Since each stuffed animal (they also have a possum, a dog, and a bunny) comes from different pieces of recycled fabrics, each is an original whimsical creation. ($54.00) Crispina.com

Xeko Mission: Costa Rica (Starter and Booster Pack) Be a force of nature, literally. With Xeko trading cards, you travel the world and protect endangered species and their habitats from destruction.

Beautifully illustrated trading cards (printed on recycled materials using natural inks, along with the packaging), paired with an interactive and kid-friendly Web site, let children become secret agents and trade with each other (think Magic: The Gathering). Profits from each purchase are donated to Conservation International. New destination packs include Indonesia, Madagascar, and China. (Starter pack: $29.99, Booster Pack: $3.99). Available at Games of Berkeley, 2151 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley, GamesofBerkeley.com, Barnes and Nobles, Borders Bookstores, and Whole Food locations.

February/March 09 | East Bay

Anamalz The Anamalz line of poseable animals are all wood made from organic maple woods and textiles. The menagerie is divided into farm Anamalz (including a fluffy lamb, a horse, and a pig), wild Anamalz (a hippo, an elephant with a poseable trunk, monkeys, and of course a lion) and more. You can register online for birth certificates and other fun interactive elements for your animals. Kid Dynamo, 1481 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley, ShopKidDynamo.com

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wish list

bloodwood and maple rattler Handmade in Eureka, Calif., by the husbandand-wife run Little Sapling Toys, each rattler is easy to grasp, safe to chew on, soothing to the ear, and visually interesting. Each rattler is handcrafted from either reclaimed or FSC-Certified hardwood, sanded satinsmooth, and finished with natural beeswax.

Comes in recycled packaging. Other designs and toys available. ($38) Available at Chloe’s Closet in San Francisco, or online at LittleSaplingToys.com

Bay Area Kids

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to do list

photos courtesy Great Dickens Christmas Fair

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local destination

day trip

Sustainable Science California Academy of Sciences

IF YOU GO California Academy of Sciences is located at 55 Music Concourse Drive, in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco

parking Paid parking is available underground or you can try and find free parking in the Park.

TICKETs You can buy tickets online at CalAcademy. org, or at the Academy. Children six and under are free. General admission tickets range from $14.95 and up. Free admission third Wednesday of each month.

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Bay Area Kids

much has been touted about the new, environmentally-friendly, living-roof topped California Academy of Science and the range of energysaving materials and technologies used within.

As a parent of two young children, however, my main question remains: That’s all good (and it is literally all good), but is it fun? On a crisp December day, I set out with my daughter and my mother to experience the Academy first-hand and give an eyewitness answer to that question.

We emerged five short hours later with a quantifiable answer. Yes, the Academy is an incredibly fun place to bring your children, but not in the way you’d think.

The Academy is part museum, part environ– mental awareness, and part exploratorium, but a big chunk of the building is devoted to water: aquariums and natural fish habitats abound everywhere. One of the first things you notice as you enter the building is a two-story recreation of a Louisiana bayou, complete with swamp mists, submerged fence posts, and a live white albino BAKidsMagazine.com

Helpful tip: bring comfortable shoes and a stroller if your child is young enough. You will need them both.

(Note from my mother: women, do not wear skirts to the Academy, there are certain areas where there is a glass floor that is pretty transparent.)

Due to time constraints, we were unable to fully experience the African Hall or the Planetarium. Find out more about the Academy, including special deals and exhibits, online at CalAcademy.org

February/March 09 | East Bay

Give the gift of health to your whole family chronic ear infections • digestive problems emotional well-being • infertility • insomnia postpartum stress and transition • sports injuries pregnancy and childbirth • surgery recovery teething • trauma and stress • women’s health Homeopathy • Acupuncture Clinical Nutrition • Naturopathy Center for Natural Health Care & Healing Carol Lourie, ND, LAc. (510) 526-2028 www.cfnhc.com Mention this ad for $50 off first visit!

“A positive experience right from the start”

DDS, Board Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Our Specialized Services!

• Gentle dentistry for infants, children, teens and special needs children • Friendly, fun environment • Digital radiography (less radiation) • BPA-free dental sealants • Saturday / emergency appointments available • Nitrous oxide / oral sedation / general anesthesia available • Emphasis on prevention

Not an actual patient

alligator sitting on an island surrounded by a pool of water filled with fish and enormous turtles. Right away, you know things are going to be a bit different here.

Two open-aired tidal wave pools surround the entryway, and you can see small sharks and other colorful fish darting in and out of the coral (downstairs they have a viewing room of the lower depths of the pool). On one side sits a large, domed Biosphere, with a line of people waiting to get in. (All attractions, including the Biosphere and some great movies, are free—a big plus.)

It’s worth the wait, however, as the Biosphere transports you—via a circular system of stairs and elevators—to different levels of a rainforest, with live exotic birds flitting about and—again—fish swimming in a pond below. Each level also provides various exhibits featuring insects, snakes, geckos, and other small critters native to each habitat. The displays do a commendable job of not only explaining the background of each animal, but their role within the habitat, and why it’s important to make sure we keep these habitats around.

The best part is at the very top. If you stand very still, butterflies literally swarm around you, and may even land on your clothes or body.

On the other side of the building is a museum and display with an African theme, but with no live animals, it was kind of a let down from the previous experience, and we moved on downstairs, where we encountered a labyrinth of aquariums and pools and water displays, each glass enclosure holding one exotic living water denizen after another. For aquarium lovers, this is pure heaven.

We stopped half-way through to feed our now growling stomachs and I was very pleasantly surprised at the variety of food available—choices ranged from tacos to hamburgers to Thai to Italian to deli sandwiches— everything was made fresh, from local, organic ingredients, and the pricing wasn’t wallet-draining. (Do not leave the eating area without trying one of their tasty cookies, brownies, or—in my case—a slice of their key lime pie.) There’s a wonderful outdoor seating section within a fenced-in area that provides ample room for your children to run around while you relax and reenergize before heading back in and finding what new scientific discoveries awaited. —Everard Strong

A. Ozzie Jafarnia

Voted Best Pediatric Dentist in Contra Costa County

Call for an appointment today!

(925) 837-7745

301 Sycamore Valley Rd. West, Danville www.drozzie.com State of the art office opening February 2009 4145 Blackhawk Plaza Circle, Danville Bay Area Kids

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book shelf

reading materials

8 -11

There’s a Wolf at the Door: Five Classic Tales Retold by: Zoe B. Alley, illustrated by: R.W. Alley When Gordon, Alan, and Blake were building their homes of straw, sticks, and bricks, they had no idea that their struggle with that rascally wolf—and all his huffing and puffing—would mean a lifetime of fame. In fact, that wolf and his wily ways are the reason those Three Little Pigs, the Boy Who Cried Wolf, and Little Red Riding Hood became the famous household names we know and love today. If you think you’ve been satisfied with the hand-me-down versions of famous fables, wait till you’ve learned all the juicy details the world of fairy tales has kept hidden … until now. Cathy Jetter

yrs

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8-11

story time

Hate That Cat: A Novel Joanna Cotler In Love That Dog, Jack recovered from the loss of his beloved dog Sky and developed an understanding of poetry through the gentle teachings of wonderful Miss Stretchberry. Luckily for Jack, and the reader, Miss Stretchberry has moved up a grade and Jack is happy to be back in her class.

Once again Jack, the boy who believed that poetry was just for girls, is sharing his thoughts through prose—and guess what—it doesn’t even have to rhyme. Reluctant readers will love the “short lines” Jack uses to express his disdain for that horrible black cat by the bus stop; parents will enjoy knowing their readers will be absorbing those poetry lessons skillfully hidden throughout the plot.

Cathy Jetter

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Bay Area Kids

yrs

4-8

yrs

Ivy and Bean Take Care of the Babysitter Annie Barrows and Sophie Blackall Ivy and Bean are back in their fourth book of adventures, and once again the two girls who weren’t meant to be friends are shaking things up, sevenyear-old style. Big sister Nancy’s babysitting attitude doesn’t sit so well with Bean when Mom leaves for the afternoon. Perhaps Ivy and Bean can teach her a lesson or two by the time Mom gets back—but it doesn’t take long for the girls to realize there are often reasons for the rules. With Nancy’s help (and a lot of sisterly negotiations) problems are solved and all catastrophes averted … until next time. Cathy Jetter

yr the year of the ox: 3-6 tales from the chinese zodiac Written by Oliver Chin, Illustrated by Miah Alcorn Olivia is a little ox trying to prove herself in the big world. “I’m a big girl now and I can handle it by myself,” she declares when asked to contribute to the workload around the farm. Mei, the farmer’s daughter, quickly becomes her best friend and they have all sorts of adventure together, but Olivia can’t find her place on the farm, no matter how hard she tries. In the face of disaster, however, everything comes together. A wonderful story to entertain the kids, with whimsical artwork to amuse the adults. Everard Strong

s

BAKidsMagazine.com

now!

fashion studio

Fashion Design & Sewing Classes Kids, Teens, Adults Workshops, Birthdays, Camps Have fun, learn new skills, and express your creativity by learning to design and make your own fashions!

Classes and camps for 2nd Grade and above.

For more info drop-in, call, or visit: www.sewnow.com 960 Moraga Rd., Lafayette (925) 283-7396 info@sewnow.com

They Won’T Be Bored This summer!

For camping diversity as rich and varied as the Bay Area itself, California Adventure Camps has it all! Campers of all ages are challenged to grow and expand their personal potential through exciting experiences and the best kid-friendly destinations from around the Bay, including:

Windsurfing • Rock Climbing • Mini Golf • Ice Skating Swimming • Skateboarding • Discovery Kingdom • Waterworld USS Hornet Museum • Chabot Space & Science Center The Exploratorium • The Zoo and many more!

Ask about our Early Bird Discounts!

February/March 09 | East Bay

CalIfoRnIa aDvEnTURE CaMpS

(925) 952-4450 • www.caladventurecamps.org Extended Care and Transportation options available.

Bay Area Kids

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Summer Camp Planning Manual A How-To Guide for Parents Compiled by the staff of Bay Area Kids magazine

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Bay Area Kids

BAKidsMagazine.com

“I decided to come to camp, because I’ve never been much of a person. I thought maybe coming to camp would help me grow up, and maybe make me into a leader. I could use leadership qualities.”

— Charlie Brown, (Race for your life, Charlie Brown)

Choosing a camp for your some camps are only offered during child—whether it’s a sleep-away camp or a day camp—can be a very complicated process. First, you have to figure out what type of camp your child would enjoy. Once you do that, you have to find out when the camp is being offered and if it meets your scheduling needs. Then, you need to find out about the camp’s accreditations and credentials, as well as research the staffing and facilities available. Finally, you have to take the camp’s costs into account.

Choosing the right type of camp There are so many different camps these days: camps geared to different sports, including an “all-sports” camp where a variety of sports are taught and played; there are art camps, theatre camps, music camps, computer camps, space camps, and even camps that are very general with a variety of activities and day trips offered each day. Deciding what type of camp is right for your child is a matter of knowing what your child likes. If there are no strong likes or dislikes, a general camp with a variety of activities might be best so that your child can try new things and discover what he or she likes.

Scheduling The next step is to find out the dates when your camp of choice is being held:

February/March 09 | East Bay

certain weeks, other camps are offered all summer long. Some camps require you to attend for a certain length of time, while others are more flexible. Make sure to find out when the camp is being offered and that it is the right camp for your child.

For example, a YMCA may offer camp all summer long; however, each week they may offer a different specialty—so, if your child wants to attend basketball camp and you sign him up for week four, that might be the week they are offering ballet classes, you will either have a very unhappy boy … or the next Billy Elliot.

If you are trying to fill up the entire summer with camps for your child, scheduling can be a logistical nightmare, so be sure to keep careful notes on which camps are offered at which time and make sure you are happy with the full summer schedule before signing up. Pay special attention to registration deadlines—if you are certain of which particular camps your child will be attending, sign them up as early as possible. Many local camps have regular attendees who come back each year, and they fill up on the first day of registration. Try to find this out ahead of time either by calling the organization or by talking to other parents.

Beyond weekly schedules you also need to make sure that the camp’s daily schedule fits within your own individual

Bay Area Kids

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Questions to ask the camp director

schedule. If you need to be at work by 9:00 in the morning but camp doesn’t start until 9:30 AM, what are you going to do? If you have a friend attending camp with your child, you might try a ride share arrangement—some camps offer transportation and extended hour supervision. Plan these details out in advance so you won’t be surprised on the first day when the staff tell you “No, you can’t drop your child off at 8:45 am because there will be no supervision until 9:30 am.”

How many staff members are directly assigned to supervise each group of campers?

How big is each group of campers?

What are the qualifications of the staff?

How old are staff members directly supervising campers?

Do staff members teaching special skills have the right qualifications to do so (or is a college student majoring in English who likes to sing giving music lessons)?

Is there someone on site who is certified in first aid and CPR? What happens when it rains: Are there indoor facilities when it rains?

Are there planned activities?

If there is a pool .... what are pool staff qualifications? Are all lifeguards properly certified in Basic Lifesaving or Advanced Lifesaving (Red Cross courses)?

Are there an adequate number of lifeguards according to state and local codes?

Camp Research Many summer day camps are accredited by the ACA (American Camping Association): this means that they have to meet certain standards and guidelines. However, you should still do your own research about these camps to make sure that everything is up to your standards. There may be other local groups that accredit or certify day camps and even the local health department or child day care licensing departments may have some say.

Ask other parents, go online and search forums and posts about camps. Check

with local mother’s clubs and other parenting network groups (East Bay Dads, for example) for more information.

Costs Some camps cost more than others.

Overnight camps are going to cost more than day camps. Specialty camps are going to cost more than general camps.

You need to decide how much you have to spend and if the costs are justified or not. Camps running longer hours may be what you need to accommodate your work schedule so you have to go with a camp that costs more. But, if you are a stay-at-home mom with a kid who loves basketball, there might be a half day camp out there that would be better suited to your family’s needs. Weigh all options carefully before making decisions because the costs can vary so widely from camp to camp.

In the end, go with your gut instinct and choose camps that will work best for you entire family. Make it work by making the right choices, and your child will have an unforgettable—and very rewarding—summer to remember. BAK

Spanish for Kids and adults too!

• • • • •

Immersion program Small class sizes Experienced teachers Classes for toddlers to teens Day camps too!

(925) 962-9177 www.vivaelespanol.org Alameda • Lafayette • Pleasanton

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Bay Area Kids

BAKidsMagazine.com

Before they go

www.CastleRockArabians.com

Helpful pointers to keep in mind as you get your child ready for camp • Camp directors should inform you what forms need to be completed in advance of attending camp (including liability waivers). Directors should also provide you with a list of things your child should bring with them.

• Accentuate the positives regarding the camp experience, but allow kids to voice their concerns.

Do not downplay mixed emotions. Be aware of hesitations and be reassuring and supportive.

• Be ready to let go. A tearful goodbye can add stress to your child. Don’t feel guilty—homesickness is typically short-lived!

• Camp can be a wondrous learning experience, yet full of emotional stress—for both of you. Don’t dismiss or minimize feelings, yet don’t let them rule your emotions. See summer camp as a valuable learning tool for yoru child—a chance to grow and experience the world.

RIDING LESSONS One hour private lesson: $80 5 lessons for the price of 4: $320 BIRTHDAY PARTIES Check our website for details

) 15 M to M–3 P

4 s ri 9 A 50! geMon-F ave $ a ( • s

p ions and am sess l now C k l e er ne-we Enro

• m m 12 o eek Sue 15 • per w Jun $525

1350 Castle Rock Rd. Walnut Creek

(925) 937-7661

February/March 09 | East Bay

HORSEMANSHIP Sundays, 12:30 PM Four 1-1/2 hour sessions: $320 LADIES GROUP LESSONS Every Thursday, 10:30 AM to 12:00 PM $75 per session

Fun!

Respect

Packing List

• Extra clothes, including underwear, bathing suit, a towel, and toiletries.

The “Just in Case” rule: if you think you’ve packed enough clothes, pack an extra one of everything.

Write your child’s name on all of his or her belongings.

• Pack a Survival Baggie: lunch/snacks (double check with the camp about what food they’ll be offering), bottled water, and a fruit.

• Do not forget: allergy medications, sunscreen, and more underwear.

Established 1971 CHA certified instructors

SCOUT BADGE PROGRAM Approved by Girl Scouts of Northern California!

Two hour sessions: $70/per scout

Fun !

Respect Respect Locations in Berkeley and Oakland www.monkeybusinesscamp.com

Fun! Mention this ad and get $20 off any weekly enrollment!

Bay Area Kids

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Kids

BayArea 16

Bay Area Kids

absolutely [essential] summer camp (and activity) guide BAKidsMagazine.com

Taylor Family Foundation’s Camp Arroyo 5555 Arroyo Rd., Livermore (925) 455-5118 • www.ttff.org The Taylor Family Foundation’s Camp Arroyo, located in Livermore, is offering the following camp programs for Summer 2009 for children with special needs.

DATE

SPECIAL NEEDS

March 6-8; 27-29 Diabetes April 24-26 Brain Tumor May 1-3 Bereavement June 12-15 Asthma June 15-19 CHO-Asthma June 19-27 Skin Disease June 27-July 3 Crohn’s, Colitis and IBD July 3-11 Pediatric HIV/AIDS July 12-25 Congenital Heart Disease July 25-31 Celiac Disease August 1-10 Autism and

Developmentally Delayed August 10-13 Family Bereavement August 13-16 Bipolar Disorder August 17-20 Sickle Cell August 21-24 Brain Tumor August 24-27 Epilepsy September 25-27 Preschool Burn Survivors November 6-8 Bereavement Camp

REGISTRATION INFO www.dyf.org www.wecan.cc www.camphopeca.com www.cafairplay.org www.csdf.org www.ibdcamp.org www.sunburstprojects.org www.kidsheartcamp.org www.celiaccamp.com www.ennetwork.org www.kara-grief.org www.campnewhope.net www.cho.org www.wecan.cc www.epilepsynorcal.org www.ffburn.org www.camphopeca.com

Support Taylor Family Foundation! Find out how online at www.ttff.org

sewnow! Sewing Camp 960 Moraga Rd., Lafayette (925) 283-7396 • www.sewnow.com Learn fashion design and sewing at sewnow! fashion studio. One-week camps for Second Grade through teens—beginner to advanced—morning, afternoon, or full day. Have a fun week learning new skills and walk away with two unique personalized fashion items.

Camps include all fabrics, notions, computerized custom-fit patterns, and custom embroidery.

REGISTRATION Registration is open now. Camps sell out quickly. For details visit www.sewnow.com or call (925) 283-7396.

February/March 09 | East Bay

Mad Science of Mt. Diablo Find specific camp locations online (925) 687-1900 • www.madscience.org/mtdiablo Mad Science Summer Camps offer children the chance to see just how cool science can be! Each day includes a take-home experiment that the kids make themselves.

Designed for preschoolers and kids grades 1-6, our various programs include Crazy Chemistry, NASA: Journey into Outer Space, Secret Agent Camp, and many others! Camps are week-long, half-day sessions (9AM-Noon or 1-4PM).

REGISTRATION Check with your City’s Parks and Recreation Guide for Camp Registration information and dates. Links to camp locations can be found at our web site www.MadScience.Org/MtDiablo.

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Viva el Español Spanish Immersion Camps 3451 Golden Gate Way, Lafayette (925) 962-911 www.vivaelespanol.org

California Adventure Camps P.O. Box 4641, Walnut Creek • (925) 952-4450 www.caladventurecamps.org Variety is the spice of life and also the main attraction of the summer programs at California Adventure Camps. Diverse experiences give our campers the opportunity to try new things, test their abilities, perfect a craft, or simply have fun! Weekly summer camp sessions begin June 15. Extended care and transportation options available.

Kid’s TV Production (ages 8-16) Beginner/Intermediate Tackle Football (ages 6-14)

A unique opportunity for children to learn or improve their Spanish language skills! During each week-long camp, students participate in interactive games, music and movement activities, and art projects that center around a specific kid-friendly theme. Students learn useful vocabulary and phrases related to each theme, and practice their conversation skills. Each week culminates with a sing-along and presentation, where the kids get to show off what they learned.

REGISTRATION: Go online today to check out our Early Bird Discounts. Be sure to mention this ad when you register at www.caladventurecamps.org.

REGISTRATION: For specific dates, themes and registration information please visit www.vivaelespanol.org or call (925) 962-9177.

Bay Area Explorers (ages 9-14) Skateboard Camp (ages 6-16) Jr. Explorers (ages 5-8)

Creative Listening Center 401 Muller Rd., Walnut Creek (925) 946-0913 • www.creativelisteningcenter.com Take a break from traditional tutoring and boost your child’s learning ability! Our fun and highly interactive programs involve music, movement and art—all aimed at enriching your child’s learning experience. We offer individual attention to address focus & concentration, memory, creativity, verbal communication, and organizational issues.

SUMMER LISTENING CAMP 2009 REGISTRATION: Call today to reserve space this summer or visit our website for complete details. All ages welcome!

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The Child Day Schools Where Summer is Learning Disguised as Fun! The Child Day Schools provides safe and fun summer programs for ages 2 to 10. Our summer programs kick off a week after the local schools close. Registration begins in February and March.

Contact the location of your choice for more information.

CAMP Highlights: Gardening Education Projects • Linking to Kindergarten-Kindergarten readiness • Reading Adventures • Art and Science Projects • Water slides, petting zoo, magicians, and musicians • Field trips for older children.

Lafayette 1049 Stuart St. (925) 284-7092

San Ramon 18868 Bollinger Canyon Road (925) 820-2515

Moraga 372 Park St. (925) 376-5110

Pleasanton 883 Rose Ave. (925) 462-1866

www.tcdschools.com

BAKidsMagazine.com

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Road, Walnut Creek (925) 937-7661, www.castlerockarabians.com Our summer camps are the highlight of the year, with one-week sessions running from June through September, Monday-Friday, 9-3 PM. Campers are divided by age and skill level—we even have a Tiny Riders Camp for those ages 3-6. These two-hour camps run concurrently with our general summer camp schedule. The Tiny Riders program offers an introduction using older horses and ponies that are just the right size for your little rider!

2009 Schedule June 15-19 June 22-26 June 29-July 3 July 6-10 July 13-17

July 20-24 July 27-31 August 3-7 August 10-14 August 17-21 August 24-28

Don’t miss our Explorer’s Overnight Camps at Mt. Diablo on July 16, 17, 18, 19!

REGISTRATION: Enroll by February 28 and save $50! Visit us online at www. castlerockarabians.com for complete details, including online registration form and fee schedule.

The Renaissance School

3668 Dimond Ave., Oakland (510) 331-8566, www.therenaissanceschool.org Come join us at The Renaissance School (an International Montessori School) for our Summer Camps program! During the summer months, we offer parents the opportunity to choose from a variety of sports, language immersion, science, dance, and various cultural and art experiences for children ages 4-11. By offering a six-week program with the flexibility of signing up for one- or two-week increments, we can accommodate your individual needs and/or vacation plans. You may choose as few or as many weeks as you wish to create a rich and varied experience for your child.

Registration: For more information and registration, call 510-531-8566 or visit us online at TheRenaissanceSchool.org.

Monkey Business Camp (510) 540-6025, www.monkeybusinesscamp.com Monkey Business Camp is all about FUN! Our campers play, play, play throughout the day. As they do, they learn new skills (Can you hula hoop? Want to learn new moon stick tricks?) and build bonds with fellow campers and our caring staff. Designed for kids ages 5-13, our program allows kids to create art, cook, explore science, exercise their bodies, sing songs, play games and revel in the fun. There’s always an emphasis on imagination and wackiness! Nutritious snacks served daily. Our Summer Camps begin June 15 and conclude on August 28. Hours are 8:30 am-3:30 pm with Optional Extended Care for your convenience. Choose from 3 locations: Tilden Park (Berkeley Hills) • Roberts Park (Oakland Hills) Berkwood Hedge School (Downtown Berkeley) REGISTRATION: Go online at www.monkeybusinesscamp.com to register or get more details on our Summer and School Break Day Camps. Take $20 off any weekly enrollment when you mention this ad.

February/March 09 | East Bay

Bay Area Kids

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get away

Life with young ones bouncing around the house often

Sweet Relief Five romantic rendezvous destinations within an hour’s drive of your backyard

by Kelly Pollard

20

leaves much to be desired between the two overworked parents running the show. In our endless list of things to do, it’s easy to let romance slide off the radar. With sentiments of Valentine’s Day reminding us to woo our sweethearts, what better excuse to make a quick escape, sans kids, for a night to rediscover why you fell in love in the first place?

Luckily, romance abounds across the Bay Area and its outskirts; no need to waste time and money on distant travel plans involving lengthy airport waits or road trips to find that escape we crave with our lover. These quick slip-aways will rekindle the passion and ultimately make you happier parents when you crash back down into reality. So pack your bags for a romantic, winter holiday.

Claremont Resort and Spa 41 Tunnel Road, Berkeley (510) 984-2727 ClaremontResort.com

alone time

If luxury carves the path to romance, then consider a getaway at this celebrated resort nestled in the Berkeley hills. Get pampered with your sweetheart at the spa, take advantage of their pampering round-the-clock room service if you want to stay in, or wade in heated pools and challenge your partner to a game of tennis in The Claremont Club. Choose the Romantic Rendezvous package (starting at $299 per night) and arrive to sparkling wine, chocolate dipped strawberries, and a rose petal turn-down service.

Concerts at the Claremont begins on February 13 and dining and overnight packages are available. Before the show, join the strolling dine featuring the acclaimed Chefs of the Claremont. Rates vary in price from $270 to $1000 nightly.

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BAKidsMagazine.com

Carneros Inn

Purple Orchid Inn

4048 Sonoma Highway, Napa (707) 299-4900 TheCarnerosInn.com

4549 Cross Road, Livermore (925) 606-8855 PurpleOrchid.com

You can’t go wrong with one of the top twenty five romantic getaways in the world, according to Travel and Leisure magazine. This vineyard oasis located between Napa and Sonoma Valleys is a wine and fine dining enthusiast’s delight. The inn consists of eighty six individual cottages set in secluded courtyards— each including luxury amenities like wood burning stoves, soaking tubs and some even offer outdoor showers. Ooh, la la! You’ll find three restaurants on site, an adults-only pool, and the spa that was recently voted one of the Top 55 Spas in North America, Caribbean and at Sea by Conde Naste Traveler’s 2007 Reader Poll. Complimentary bikes are also available to cruise the 27 acres of vineyards. Rates range from $505 to $1,995.

Situated among twenty one acres of olive trees in Livermore’s Wine Country, this feng shui inspired getaway is the perfect romantic escape in our own backyard. With only ten guest rooms, the inn provides a hearty breakfast, and wine and cheese reception daily. Take advantage of one of their Couples Romance Spa Packages—they offer three kinds—and bliss out with a stone therapy massage, facials, spa lunches, and champagne or wine.

Rates vary and most packages include a spa treatment.

Inn Above Tide 30 El Portal, Sausalito (800) 893-8433 InnAboveTide.com The only inn sitting directly on the waters of the San Francisco Bay, its views of Alcatraz, Angel Island, and the San Francisco city skyline are hard to beat. All twenty nine rooms overlook the bay, with private decks and fireplaces inside. Soak in oversized tubs with your honey and wander down to the evening wine and cheese reception for some adult splurging. If you can be pulled away from your room, the SF ferry station and downtown Sausalito are just steps away. There is no reason to leave, however, when you can enjoy an in-room massage followed by a romantic dinner with views of the fog rolling over the bay. Rates range from $305 to $1,025.

February/March 09 | East Bay

Cypress Inn on Miramar Beach 407 Mirada Road, Half Moon Bay InnsByTheSea.com/Cypress The pristine beaches of Half Moon Bay are always worth the drive to the coast. This beach front inn has eighteen rooms with ocean views, fireplaces, and spa tubs in most rooms. The accommodations vary in styles as well: stay in a beach or lighthouse-themed room. Snag the most popular room: The Maverick, dedicated to the famous surfing spot and boasting a balcony and two person jetted tub. Wander along Miramar Beach and dine at the area’s celebrated restaurants along the coast. Rates vary from $199 to $379.

The Romantic Getaway package includes champagne, truffles, credit toward a fine dining experience at a local restaurant and complimentary breakfast and evening hors d’oeuvres ($239 to $359 per night)

Bonus Destination!

Wine and Roses 2505 W. Turner Road, Lodi (209) 334-6988 WineRose.com If you’re a wine lover and tired of the coastal life, take 580 over the Altamont Pass head out to Lodi for a change of pace, and scenery.

Located in the acclaimed Lodi Wine Valley, this resort was voted a Best Getaway of 2007 in San Joaquin magazine. Luxurious amenities, local wine tasting bars, an award winning restaurant and state of the art spa round out the experience. This is a great escape from the bustle of the Bay Area with a wide range of rates, from the conservative to those wanting to splurge on some romance. Rates range from $169 to $450. Valentine’s Day packages available online.

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Love A balancing story in three acts

by Kelly Pollard

22

Bay Area Kids

BAKidsMagazine.com

When Julie Nostrand traveled across the world to adopt their first daughter in China five years ago, she had no idea what to expect.

“I worried I wouldn’t be able to really love a baby,” Nostrand says. “But my first daughter was so easy to love. She just came to us and blended in; love was instantaneous.”

The bonding was equally fluid between her husband and daughter.

“She loved him the moment she laid eyes on him,” she says.

When the Nostrand family—who call Pleasanton home—made the trek to meet their second daughter over a year later, they expected that the relationship would blossom as easily as with their older daughter.

“She fought me every step of the way. I knew that she needed my love more than anything, but it was more of a process of offering it, getting nothing in return and offering it again,” Nostrand says. “She completely rejected my husband at first. He handled the rejection very well as it was happening and knew the baby would come around, and she did.”

High expectations flourish when we think about what kind of relationship we will have with our children and our spouses. Before these come into the picture, we often take our relationship with our own identity for granted. Then the demands of marriage and parenting can completely overwhelm life as we know it, and many parents end up losing a grip on their own identities.

First comes love, then comes marriage…

Once that baby carriage swerves into their lives, married couples must learn

February/March 09 | East Bay

the fine art of juggling the needs of their child, spouse and self. Not only are parents expected to navigate these new roles with ease, they’re also told to balance it all.

“I think the nature of parenthood, marriage and self balance is that you respond to the most immediate demands or needs first,” Nostrand says. “Since my husband and I are grown ups, it’s easiest to rationalize postponing our needs or setting them to the back burner to care for the kids. If I look at things over a week, I can steal an hour here or there for writing or exercising or dinner with my husband.”

Lisa Gray, a certified marriage and family therapist, urges her clients to nurture the love in their marriages to build a stable home life.

“We live in such a kid-centric society. Parents often forget that a good marriage is what makes these kids thrive. If you put your marriage first, the kids will always be okay. If you always put your kids first, the marriage won’t.”

Of the many couples that come into Gray’s office, she often sees that their problems sprout at the moment they transitioned into parenthood.

“Most couples don’t negotiate who does what in the household when they get married. When children come into the picture, it is a huge moment of renegotiation.”

Gray advocates being proactive in talking with your spouse about what each of you expect once that baby comes. Who will get up at night to tend to her needs? Who empties the

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Ways to Express Love to Your Child • Have meals together.

Even if you don’t eat at the same time, sit with your child and be present for them.

• Share eye contact with your child while you talk and get down on their level.

• Offer plenty of hugs, kisses, and cuddles.

• Reinforce good behavior with praise and rewards.

• Be consistent in routines and discipline to gain their trust and make them feel safe.

• Show genuine interest about what they are passionate about, be it princesses or pirates.

Share your own passions and find way to include them in your own hobbies.

• Make regular dates with individual children to give them your quality time.

“Only being a parent can prepare you for being a parent, and even that is a minimum qualification.”

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diaper pail? Later on, who will oversee homework or drive to soccer practices?

“In those early years of parenthood, it’s not really you or your partner who has changed. It’s the nature of this work-intensive period where everyone is completely overwhelmed.”

Julie Nostrand says there was an initial adjustment in her marriage when her girls joined the family. Being married for fourteen years before becoming parents definitely helped.

“It wasn’t a bomb that went off in our relationship like it was for many couples,” Nostrand says. “But we did need to work harder at setting time aside for our relationship. Sometimes it feels like the biggest change is that we have far more logistical conversations as I’m running out the door.”

Gray suggests creating a talking ritual (see sidebar) with your spouse and training your children to respect that time at an early age. She recommends author John M. Gottman’s Magic 5 Hours principle as a framework to incorporate meaningful time with your partner.

“It’s really about checking in with what’s going on in each other’s world. I see it as a kind of friendship building, incorporating date nights and times for affection and appreciation.”

Just as children strain the relationship by adding to the demands of the household, kids often give spouses a shared purpose in life.

“Being parents does really unite us. It gives us something bigger than ourselves that we’re both 100 percent committed to,” says Nostrand. “I think that’s healthy in a relationship.”

Loving your child Society often drives high expectations about how we will be as parents. These expectations sometimes blur the reality of what it actually means to lose hours of sleep with a cranky infant or a sick preschooler.

Dr. Matthew Narron, a clinical psychologist who works with a lot of children, learned about this firsthand when it was his turn to become a father.

“As a psychologist, I thought I’d be able to handle everything,” Narron says. “Only being a parent can prepare you for being a parent, and even that is a minimum qualification. I had a colicky baby for four and a half months. At one point I called my wife and told her I wanted to throw the baby out the window … I was half serious.”

What complicates the way we love our children is that, initially, the balance of give and take just doesn’t exist.

“All loves require two parties, but the parent/child relationship requires that not only do you care for yourself and the other, but are responsible for anticipating their needs. Out of these three loves [parental/spouse/self], the parent/child relationship may be the most difficult, practically speaking. It’s also the most complex.”

Julie Nostrand’s daughters have completely different temperaments, which influenced how they initially bonded and how they express love to each other now. Now that her girls are ages six and five, Nostrand finds that she shows her love for them in various ways.

BAKidsMagazine.com

“My older daughter needs more holding and cuddling to feel connected to me, where my younger daughter needs a more active connection. She needs to sit down and color with me or play a game. The challenge for me is to make sure I slow down and meet their needs where they are and it’s hard to do that every day.”

And the Nostrand girls share affection with their father a little differently.

“With my older daughter, he spends time doing math these days.

It’s odd, but that’s what she likes from him,” she says. “And from my younger daughter, they spend time around music, either playing piano or listening to songs. Since they both really love music, it’s a nice way for them to bond.”

What about me?

“It’s an absolute fact that you can’t be good at anything you do if you don’t take care of yourself,” says Gray. “I tell moms especially that you don’t have to be first on the list, but you have to be on that list.”

Gray, who is also a yoga therapist and co-owner of Cosmic Dog Yoga in Livermore, is a big proponent of yoga and meditation as a form of self-love.

“Especially with the yoga flow classes, you benefit from the physical workout and the rejuvenating aspects of yoga. You come out relaxed and renewed. Meditation practice teaches you to embrace ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’. You learn to be present and rediscover yourself.”

She also advises taking a hard look at how you spend your time.

“Cut out the junk that isn’t meaningful, energizing, or nurturing to you. If you dread your workout, for example, find another outlet, because that isn’t caring for yourself.”

So often when we become spouses and then take the leap into parenting roles, we feel we’ve lost a part of ourselves. Where is that stranger who used to read smutty novels on the beach or play the guitar? Emphasizing to our children that we are individuals that are more than a parent benefits them as well.

“I think it makes me a better mom that I have something I’m interested in beyond my children,” Nostrand says. “I hope it shows my daughters it’s okay to be a mom and a writer or whatever they want. And I think it makes me a more interesting spouse.”

Dr. Narron agrees.

“Many people don’t have the time to take for themselves. People start to lose their identity. Mom or Dad is a very important role in your life, but it shouldn’t be the only one.”

Some healthy perspective on the different roles we take on in our lives could be enough to work toward that elusive sense of balance.

“I think of marriage, parenting, and self as a big flexible triangle,” says Nostrand.” The different angles may compress and extend, the sides connecting them may stretch or compress, but finding balance means that triangle never breaks. It isn’t easy and the triangle rarely looks perfect, but as long as it remains intact, I’m doing okay.” BAK

February/March 09 | East Bay

the magic 5 hours John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, created this concept after years of researching successfully married couples. He directs spouses to: • Spend five minutes every morning sharing one thing on their agendas.

• Spend twenty minutes every evening checking in about what is on your minds.

• Spend five minutes showing affection (kisses goodbye, hand holding) and appreciation (“Thank you for doing the dishes,”) every day.

• Spend two hours once a week on a “date.” Even if it’s a low-key dinner home after the children go to bed, fit it in.

From: The Seven Principals for Making Your Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PhD and Nan Silver, Crown Publishers, 1999

Dr. Matthew Narron, PhD, practices psychology in Berkeley. To contact him, visit DrMatthewsNarron.com.

Lisa Gray is a marriage and yoga therapist based in Livermore. Find her online at LisaGrayMFT.com. For more information about her yoga therapy, individual or couples, please visit YogeMotion.com

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table talk

26 family matters

To Love, To Hold, To Feed A Berkeley couple look for common ground in their love for each other, their kids, and for food

by Everard G Strong 26

Bay Area Kids

There’s a certain glamour that enshrouds modern-day chefs, and in many circles they are considered rock stars. Foodies follow their every move, and can quote the last five menu changes for their favorite restaurant, along with the last accolades lauded on its head chef by Hearty Appetite magazine.

As Hollywood is home to musicians chasing their million-dollar record deal dreams, the Bay Area hosts as many restaurants led by chefs looking to be the next Alice Waters (owner and chef of the world-famous Chez Panisse). Keeping track of the openings and closings of the next trendy restaurant is akin to looking at a Billboard Magazine monthly top ten list, (and sometimes these new restaurants last just as long). Chefs either fade into the Bay’s culinary backwaters, or, as many musicians do, they continue producing new material that pleases earnest followers while coaxing in new fans.

BAKidsMagazine.com

Chefs Gayle Pirie and John Clark—head chefs for San Francisco’s Foreign Cinema restaurant— fall into the latter. Taking over the kitchen in 2001, the duo implemented a daily-changing Mediterranean influenced menu and a full oyster bar. At the time, the restaurant sat on one of those “Trendy” lists, and was well known more for the concept—foreign cinema while eating—then for the actual menu choices.

“It’s no longer trendy,” says Gayle. “It’s just a good restaurant.”

The two know something about food, having been a part of the local—and international— restaurant business for over two decades. Tenures at Zuni Cafe and Chez Panisse, and a globetrotting consulting business (John and Gayle spent two years in Hong Kong developing two new restaurants there) have earned them critical praise from critics and foodies alike. Since taking over Foreign Cinema, the destination has won them three stars from the San Francisco Chronicle and nine consecutive Top 100 rankings. Not busy enough, they also published two cookbooks, Country Egg, City Egg (2000), and Bride and Groom (2006), and are working on their third.

Youngest foodie Pearl waiting in the couple’s vintage Porsche

This story, however, is not about the restaurant itself, it’s about Gayle and John’s life outside of the restaurant, a life that includes a home in Berkeley, and a boy (Magnus, 9) and a girl (Pearl, 3). It’s a story about finding balance within and without a family; it’s a story about love.

The two met at Zuni Cafe in San Francisco.

“John was the pizza chef, I was the salad girl.

I was 21, he was 25.” It was love at first sight.

Since then they have literally been inseparable, working alongside each other in kitchens and in their consulting business. Then came Magnus.

“It was hard to find balance with him, figure out how to adapt to a child in our lives,” says Gayle.

“Pearl, our second, was much harder to adjust to.

We had to make a huge change at the restaurant.”

They’ve adapted to their roles by playing as a tag team, with one of them staying home with the children while the other one manages the restaurant. In essence, though together, they also adopt the role of being a single parent.

“A single parent with two children is far tougher than being at a restaurant,” confided Gayle. “The difference is staff. At home you’re constantly doing something—cleaning, bathing, always occupied.”

Within this hectic lifestyle, both John and Gayle try to keep things as normal as possible for Magnus and Pearl while looking for common ground in their relationship—and their individual lives—when and where they can. For Gayle, this regrouping involves trips to the gym, acupuncture, and serving as a teacher to her staff at the restaurant and focus on planning its daily menu.

As a couple, they set date nights, two or (if they’re lucky) three times a month.

As a family, both of them try to keep their children’s creativity and participation involved, whether it’s playing Monopoly, taking a family trip to Rome, or introducing them to the world of culinary exploration.

“One of our basics is fresh Parmesan Regianno with noodles and butter—what kid doesn’t like that? Just make sure to use real cheese, it’s worth the price and the effort.”

Cooking at home, even for two renowned chefs, can be a chore. “Sometimes I come home and don’t want to touch the kitchen,” says Gayle.

“I’m exhausted when I come home. Sometimes disgruntled and exhausted. Usually I like to get them involved in cooking, but sometimes it just slows things down, especially with homework and preschool to plan for.”

So Gayle keeps it simple in the home kitchen.

“We eat a lot of fish, pickles, rice. Organic foods.

We ask Chef Gayle Pirie,

What’s on your nightstand?

1. Notes on a Life, by Eleanor Copolla

2. Musician Magazine, circa 1990, with Jimmy Page on the cover. “I love Led Zeppelin.”

3. Screamfree Parenting by Hal E Runkel (WaterBrook Press, 2007)

Find out more about Foreign Cinema (including upcoming movies and menus) online at ForeignCinema.com

February/March 09 | East Bay

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27

table talk

FOREIGN CINEMA’S

PASTA CARBONARA Recipe by Chef Gayle Pirie Ingredients 1 lb (or just under) long noodles (spaghettini, fedelini or linguine) 6 thick slices smoky bacon 2 Tbsp pure olive oil 4 eggs Chunk of Parmesan cheese, freshly grated Freshly ground black pepper to taste Salt to taste

Magnus likes making his own garlic bread. Pearl likes anything.”

They try to introduce new flavors to their children, like Japanese crab rolls, and seaweed, and tacos, but she doesn’t push it. What they do try is imbue a sense of respect for food into their children. Pearl is too young to really grasp the notion yet, but Magnus is catching on. Whether it’s not wasting food or learning to respect the life of a crab before cooking it.

“Keep cooking user-friendly,” advises Gayle.

“For children, food should look like what it is.” (Foreign Cinema has a children’s menu that includes finger foods like a dish of pears and cheese.) “If it get’s too complicated, then they don’t like it as much. When you have sophisticated layers they don’t taste it so much.

Keep it simple and real.” Good advice in the kitchen and in life. BAK

Each year, John and Gayle will host Magnus’ class at Foreign Cinema, introducing the kids to a variety of new foods and dishes, including oysters.

“We raise the bar each year,” says Gayle. “It always takes one child to eat the first oyster.

Then all the other children follow.”

Method 1 Bring slightly salted water to a boil in a large pot. Cook the noodles until tender but firm.

2 While the noodles cook, dice the bacon and cook it in the olive oil until just lightly crisped in a medium sauté pan. Pour off the excess fat, reserving 4 tablespoons in the pan.

3 In a bowl, beat the eggs and season with a little salt.

4 Drain the noodles, saving about 2 tablespoons of water for later. If the pan has cooled down, warm it up again right before adding the noodles.

5 Add the noodles to the warm bacon in the pan; thoroughly toss with the oil and bacon, and season with salt. Work fast and pour the beaten eggs onto the warm noodles and mix well to coat the noodles.

6 Add the reserved pasta water if the noodles look dry. The heat of the noodles and the pan will thicken and set the eggs.

If there is not enough heat, turn the burner on very low, just to warm the noodles, then turn it off. Too much heat can scramble the eggs.

7 Once the noodles, egg and bacon are well mixed, add freshly grated Parmesan cheese, and stir. Freshly ground black pepper is an essential addition. Serve in warm pasta bowls. Serves 4

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Bay Area Kids

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Bay Area Kids

29

last words

diary of a suburban queen

Slapping the “Un” in “Unconditional Love”

by Kelly pollard

30 parting shots

Kelly Pollard is a TriValley writer and mother of two boys, ages five and four.

You can find her at TwoBoysinTwoYears.

BlogSpot.com with more incriminating tales of her family.

30

Bay Area Kids

With my older son Bobby, it really was love at first sight. I thank the stars for that, since it was the only thing going for the both of us during his first months of life.

During his entire pregnancy, I was fixated on perfection—the perfect labor and delivery with no drugs or intervention. My baby would have skin-toskin contact as soon as he shot out, and he would only have breast milk.

Now that I have six years of raising two very different boys under my belt, I smirk at my obsession with perfection and my sky-high expectations.

After my quick, natural labor, my love swelled as I held this squalling, seven-pound stranger. After our families made their way to peaceful homes in the dead of night, Bobby continued to scream.

My husband walked him around, passed him to me, and we marveled over this screechy creature.

For hours, Bobby amazed us with his rock star vocal skills. He was so busy screaming, he wanted nothing to do with me or my perfect breast milk.

When the sun rose, Bobby sank into a deep slumber and played tricks on the constant flow of traffic into our room, outwitting them all with his groggy gurgles as we passed him around. I gamely whipped out my boobs every hour to be massaged and manipulated by whatever nurse rotated through. Bobby made some sloppy attempts at latching on, but the nurses didn’t seem concerned that he would rather sleep than suck.

Once home, the milk came with the force of a bursting volcano, as did the visitors that wanted to meet the new addition. There was nothing discreet about maneuvering his softball sized head into a perfect angle under what had now become the gargantuan breasts I had dreamt of having. We visited lactation consultants and were coached by pediatricians at the clinic. I misguidedly believed that we perfect mothers didn’t settle for formula, so my freezer filled with dozens of goody bags of my perfect milk that my son refused to drink.

During the hazy bliss of my pregnancy, I lined up an arsenal of breastfeeding super-gadgets I never heard of: medicine droppers, finger feeders, and nipple shields. When he refused to put any

weight on his scrawny body, and my freezer filled with goody bags of my perfect milk my son refused to drink, only then did I finally fed him my milk from bottles.

He was labeled a lazy sucker. Everyone thought I was just a sucker, period. I still adored my little dictator, but I resented the hours spent glued to a breast pump, eyes glazed over from watching bad cable at all hours, after being awake a good hour to feed the kid and rock him back to sleep.

How much easier would life have been if I didn’t insist on perfection?

When Bobby hit about six weeks old, he figured out the secret of latching on, aptly earning the nickname Booby. I had made it to that carefully crafted image in my mind of mother and child gliding away in the rocking chair.

So began the hour-long binges, chugging my milk down with the zeal of a beer-bonging frat boy, with only an hour in-between feedings. Whatever modesty I felt about potentially flashing my male relatives and friends disappeared. I figured out that life would pass me by on the other side of my bedroom door if I locked myself up every time I needed to feed my baby.

I mastered nursing in almost any situation— holding him in a sling, on a pillow, lying in bed, walking across the house to answer the phone.

This did not meet those misplaced expectations of me bonding with my baby as he fed, with a look of serenity splashed across my face. It was more like alternating looks of dread, adoration, and pure boredom.

I wanted my baby to have the best of me. I know I went over the top in my quest for perfection. Heck, when my second son Shane came along, formula was my savior for those times I couldn’t sit for thirty minutes to nurse him. I simply couldn’t chase a oneyear-old while nursing a newborn half of the day.

I claim I was lucky to love Bobby so much that I survived those months of growing together. Maybe the real luck is that he loved me enough to go along with my misguided attempts at being the perfect mother, and he loves me enough still, to forgive any other parenting mistakes I make. BAK BAKidsMagazine.com

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