Bayis magazine issue 5 by Bayis

History of... Salads | Shabbos Halacha: Toys on Shabbos

Recipes

Issue 5

g n tti e G back

5 Cheshvan 5777

FEATURE Intuitive Eating

November 6, 2016

FEATURE Health & Nutrition Understand the Difference Between Health Professions

SERIAL

Finding Chava

Top Jewish Women in Health and Wellness

Absolutely FREE

NE W Short Stor y

! y h t l a e H To Teaching 101

Parenting

Humor

Table of Contents

Kitchen Gadgets

Fall Salads In The Kitchen

4 Inspiration

The Phone Call

6 Parenting

Parenting Blindly

36 Eye on Health

Teaching 101 Differentiating Instruction

12 History of...

20 Health &Nutrition Health Coach, Nutritionist, Dietitian

34 T ips for Healthy Living

38 Serial Finding Chava: Chapter 5

43 Short Story

Salads

The Truth about the Sugar Industry

The Broken Crown: Part 1

50 Shabbos Halacha

Toys on Shabbos

52 Humor I've Got a Jewish Name

Just Dance!

53 On the Bright side

Lost and Found

WOMAN’S INTUITION

Rena Reiser’s Unique Approach to Health

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Top Jewish Women in Health and Wellness

Editor-in-Chief Rabbi Noach Tuchinsky Managing Editor Rena Tuchinsky Executive Editor Sarah Glanz Proofreader Esther Rosenbaum Estee Tannenbaum Creative Director Brachi Rosenes Contributing Writers Chaya Steinman, Shira Katz, Hadassah Glanz, Rabbi Zechariah Steinman, Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz, Yaakov Grossman, Dr. David Tuchinsky, Naomi Hazan, Naomi Lerman, Lily Rosenberg Advertising Manager Adam Tuchinsky advertise@bayismagazine.com Bayis Magazine – www.bayismagazine.com Editor@bayismagazine.com Contactus@bayismagazine.com We Look forward to hearing from you! To subscribe via email: subscriptions@bayismagazine.com Bayis Magazine. Published by Bayis Magazine LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. Bayis Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of the articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the contents of the books that are referred to or excerpted herein.

Welcome Welcome to Bayis, the Jewish woman’s free digital magazine! We are so happy to invite you in. With Hashem’s help, we have gathered an amazing array of fascinating, entertaining, and informative articles and stories for your reading pleasure. Sit back and enjoy reading these remarkable articles at your convenience on your computer, e-reader (tablet), or mobile device. For all you “Shabbos readers” out there, you can easily print out the pages you want from the downloadable PDF Shabbos edition or from our website. Our hope is to provide you, our readers, with quality kosher content for free!

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Inspiration

Rabbi Noach Tuchinsky

The Phone Call

he appointment has been set for months. The prime minister will be calling my personal phone to discuss what he can do to help my financial situation! The phone rings at the appointed time, and for some unknown reason I hit the reject button. The phone rings again, and this time I just ignore it. I ignore the constant ringing of the phone where one of the most important and powerful figures in modern history is calling to help. The mashal is an obvious one. Hashem, The most powerful ruler is calling every day. He has set times to speak to us, and we brazenly and defiantly ignore Him, and lose our opportunity to develop our relationship with Him. Our relationship with Hashem should be the most important aspect of our lives, but unfortunately, it is tossed to the backside due to our busy lives. Tefillah is our opportunity to

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nurture this relationship and reconnect to Hashem. So why do we rush through davening, if we daven at all? Why do we daydream and think of everything under the sun except for the words we are saying to The King of Kings? One of the answers lies in a story told in the Gemara of the great R’ Yochanan ben Zakai. On his deathbed, his students gathered around him and asked him for a bracha. He blessed them that their fear of heaven should be like their fear of fleshand-blood. His students were stunned and asked if it should only be like their fear of fleshand-blood, not more?! To which the great R’ Yochanan ben Zakai replied “If only.” We can learn a very important lesson from this Aggadata: that we should strive to place Hashem before us, where His presence is felt just as much as the presence of a person lehavdil is felt. This is not simple, as we see from the fact that R’ Yochanan ben Zakai responds “if only” to his very illustrious students. One therefore needs to work on placing Hashem before

himself constantly. “Shevisi Hashem L’neggdi Tamid.” The Baalei Mussar give a practical example to accomplish this lofty ideal, that one should imagine presenting himself before a king when he takes the three steps forward before Shmoneh Esrei. The Chafetz Chaim would embody this idea during his Shmoneh Esrei. Eyewitnesses recalled how, he would say the words of the Shmoneh Esrei as if he was having a conversation with someone. No shuckling, hand raising, or clapping, just straightforward saying the words of Tefillah, visibly talking to his King. So, how can we daven better and nurture our relationship with Hashem? Speak to Him! The words of Shmoneh Esrei need to be said with the understanding that we are talking to Someone. We shouldn’t just rattle out words, we need to make our Tefillah into a conversation with Hashem. This takes preparation and hard work, but to actually speak with The King of Kings, it is well worth it.

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Parenting

Parenting Blindly

r. Fine is driving merrily on the highway. He is humming to himself, happy and calm. He has a nice car, is heading to an interesting destination, and has great music in the background. So although it’s raining—pouring actually—Mr. Fine is not bothered in the slightest, as his personal surroundings are pleasant. However, barring the occurrence of continuous miracles, Mr. Fine is heading straight for disaster. His windows are all fogged up, and he can barely see! How can he possibly drive safely under the circumstances? He is sure to cause tremendous damage both to himself and others. Unless, that is, he fixes the problem by turning on the car’s defogger. In a previous article we discussed viewing a child positively, as inherently good. Now I would like to take a step back to something that needs to come even before that; the issue of actually seeing the child altogether. The above scenario is a mashal Rabbi Brezak uses often to portray how, in many cases, a parent reacts with what he

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thinks is discipline geared to the behavior of his child, when in fact, he doesn’t even see the child, but rather himself! His parental view is all fogged up. He is acting from a place of bias and subjectivity, as opposed to being objective about the situation. How can he provide guidance if he cannot even see the child? A mother asked me what to do about her seven year-old daughter who wouldn’t say “thank you” after eating a Shabbos seudah at a friend’s house. I asked the mother what bothered her about that, and she said that she’s embarrassed that her daughter is ungrateful. Does the mother see her child in this scenario? No—she said it herself—she sees only her own embarrassment. I asked her if she had asked her daughter why she wouldn’t say “thank you”, and she said that she had, and her daughter said that it’s because she’s shy. “But that’s not an excuse,” the mother told me. “She is still being ungrateful.” There are many problematic issues with this case, but our focus right now is observing

how parents see themselves rather than their children. This mother is so blinded by her feelings of embarrassment, that she cannot see or acknowledge her daughter’s side of the matter. Another mother seems to really be out for her child’s good. She is out for her child’s good, actually. But she doesn’t see her child. How do I know? Because she tells me: “My mother never made me do anything in the house, and as a result I don’t know how to do anything. I’m not going to make the same mistake with my daughter. I make her do everything, so she’ll know how to run her house.” It is indeed good to help our children become capable adults. However, this mother is not seeing her daughter, she is seeing herself as a child. She is only training her daughter because she herself wasn’t trained—not because it is objectively good for the child. What harm can be done? It’s a good thing, so even if the intentions aren’t perfect, at least the daughter will in fact become a competent wife and mother? Well, what can and does

My two-year-old son is always climbing on the table. I have told him repeatedly not to, I have punished him, I have used a reward system, but nothing is helping! Is there anything I can do to get him to stop?

This is a classic example of negative attention. Children crave attention of any kind, and the negative is often even more appealing than the positive. Sometimes what makes it appealing is the same as what makes a toy truck with lights and sirens that go on at the push of a button exciting. To a child, Mommy (and/or Daddy) is a fun toy to play with, because when he presses her buttons, there is an entertaining show of yelling, gesticulating, maybe a creative attempt at punishment, and all kinds of facial expressions! Therefore, negative attention given to a behavior will feed the behavior, and keep the child repeating it to receive his anticipated “reward” of a reaction. There are two ways to stop encouraging negative behavior. One is by passively ignoring it, and the other is by actively ignoring it. An example of passive ignoring would be the case of a four-year-old who never wanted to go home after playing by a friend. His mother was going out of her mind, as what should have been a three-minute walk home was taking forty-five. She had tried not letting him go to friends, but then had to deal with his retaliating mischief every day. At her wit’s end, she finally agreed to try the advice she was given, which was to park herself on a bench on the way home and just relax, paying no attention to her son’s tantruming. He lay there on the ground kicking and screaming, while she just calmly read a magazine she had brought along. After ten minutes, the boy stood up and said, “Mommy, why aren’t we going home?” to which she replied, “Oh, you’re ready to go? Okay, let’s go!” And that was that. She has not had any of the old trouble since. An example of active ignoring would be when a child (usually a boy) is banging on the table, annoying everyone. The smart parent will join along, banging on the table and singing to the beat! This takes away any negative attention, showing the child that you are clearly not bothered or annoyed. When the song ends, so does the banging. So, to apply this to your situation; you can just look away, getting busy with something else and not paying attention to your son on the table. Or, you can give him a big grin and ask him if he’s having fun! Does he want to hold your hands and jump off the table? Yes? One, two, three, jump! And again! Now, one more time, and then all done, okay? And off he’ll go to play.

Want to get your question answered? Send us your parenting question to parenting@bayismagazine.com

Hadassah Glanz happen is that this mother is not capable of making objective decisions. She is pushing her daughter too much, and sometimes even degrading her by making her pick up after her very capable family members, just so that she will learn. This can very well lead to a wife and mother who, although perfectly capable, shirks any and all housework because of the negative emotions it stirs up in her. I have seen this exact scenario more than once. What about the parent who idolizes her own parents, and seeks to raise her children the way she herself was raised? I cannot begin to count how many times parents have told me, “I would never have gotten away with that when I was a kid. I would never even have thought to do that!” But we are not parenting our children in the generation that we were parented! This line of thinking takes the child and his circumstances out of the picture, making it impossible to begin to think of a sensible chinuch plan. When parents consistently fail to remove their blindfolds and take a good look at their children, great damage can result. The child can lose trust in his parent and be resentful, which today, is more dangerous than ever. Aside from that, the child won’t even learn the lesson the parent is intent on teaching. Children see right through their parents, and know when their parents are thinking only of themselves. A strong parent is one whose goal is to do what’s best for the child. Being objective is the first step, as it is only when one is thinking about the child that he can know what is best for him. Hadassah Glanz trained under Rabbi Brezak, a world-renowned expert in parenting and author of the book "Chinuch in Turbulent Times". Most stories told were heard from Rabbi Brezak.

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Teaching 101

Differentiating Instruction: But How Can I Meet The Needs Of All My Students?

Teachers must learn and know how to accommodate the varied and different learning abilities and styles of diverse students. Although I think schools were always diverse and the skill of differentiation (providing appropriate instruction to diverse learners in a diverse classroom) was always important, today it’s even more important because students in your classroom come from many more diverse backgrounds and cultures. Differentiation is also important because today’s classroom is more likely than ever to include students of varying abilities. W h at Is D i ff e r e nti ate d Instruction?

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• Differentiated instruction can occur when teachers are aware and able to consider and deal with different learning needs and abilities of their students. • Differentiated instruction is possible when teachers find opportunities for every student to succeed. • It occurs when teachers can multitask. • It occurs when teachers can manage a classroom well to allow for “structured chaos” but also know how to minimize excessive noise and disruptions. • It occurs when a range of activities is provided: wholeclass instruction, small-group activities (e.g., pairs, triads, quads), individualized activities (e.g., learning centers, independent study), and student-teacher conferences (e.g., working on contracts for learning).

• It occurs when teachers allow students to express themselves in diverse ways (e.g., artistically, musically, technologically, scientifically, athletically). • Differentiated instruction allows students to express themselves in different ways (e.g., traditional compositions/ essays, speeches, drama, music, building models). • It considers assessment as an ongoing, integrated process. • It can occur when a class works together to explore a particular topic or unit of study. • It occurs when students discuss ideas freely and openly, giving all students a chance to participate in the discussion. • It occurs when the whole class listens to individuals or small groups about how they plan to learn or study a particular topic.

By Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

Kids of the same age aren’t all alike when it comes to learning. —Carol Ann Tomlinson • It occurs when students work in small groups. • It occurs when the teacher works with selected students. • It occurs when teachers consider that students learn differently and must construct meaning on their own. • It occurs when teachers allow students to take responsibility for their own learning. • It occurs when teachers use peer tutoring (i.e., advanced learners on particular topics work with students not as advanced). • It occurs when teachers realize that different students have different strengths and weaknesses. • It occurs when teachers provide for flexible grouping. For example, sometimes Miri will need remediation in reading by working with the teacher in a homogeneous group, but during math she is able to work independently because her skills are average or above average. • It occurs when teachers realize students will complete work at different paces and that the teacher must plan for and provide learning activities for students who complete work before others. • It occurs when students can

plan activities on their own. • It occurs when students can form their own interest groups to explore a topic of interest. • Differentiated instruction allows for Web-questing (Google it). • It incorporates cooperative learning, multiple intelligences, and diverse learning styles. • It provides for literature circle opportunities (i.e., students read a common book and then form a group on their own to discuss the book, and then perhaps develop a common project based on the reading). Differentiated instruction is NOT for teachers who cannot multitask or who prefer students to sit quietly and pay attention to “teacher talk.” Differentiated instruction means dividing your time among many students, giving quality time to each. That reminds me of a story. There were two famous educators who attended a wedding of a common friend. One stayed for only 30 minutes, while the other stayed for several hours. When the first

educator left, everyone was happy and expressed appreciation to him for having attended. Much later, when the second educator was about to leave, someone asked him, “Why are you leaving already? You just came!” The one who stayed longer at the affair asked his colleague, “What is your secret? How is it that you come for only a short time and everyone is happy, yet I stay for a long time and no one is satisfied?” “It’s really very simple,” said the other. “I spend only a half hour but during those 30 minutes my heart is totally involved in the occasion. You may stay longer, but from the moment you walk in, you can’t wait to leave. It’s clear that your heart isn’t in it. No wonder people say you’ve just come— they never really felt you were present!” How can you make your students feel that you have given them complete attention? How many of the following points can you check off? _1. I call on students equitably. _2. I care for all students. _3. All students, regardless of ability, can learn from one another. _4. I am attuned to the different learning needs and abilities of my students. _5. I display the work of all students, regardless of ability Bayis |

or achievement. _6. I help students appreciate, tolerate, and accommodate their similarities and differences in learning, culture, and interest. _7. I celebrate the successes of all students. _8. I consciously incorporate multiple intelligences whenever feasible. _9. I consciously incorporate learning st yles whenever feasible. _10. I pre-assess students’ knowledge prior to instruction so that I can develop appropriate lessons. _11. I use a variety of assessment strategies throughout the unit of instruction. _12. I am flexible in terms of allowing students to demonstrate different ways that they have learned the material (in other words, I give students choices about how to express their learning). _13. I offer different homework options. _14. I give different kinds of tests. _15. I grade holistically, not relying on one sole test or measure. _16. In questioning all students, I prompt and probe equitably. _17. I give the same wait time to slow learners as I do to advanced learners. _18. I use a variety of

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grouping procedures, including whole-class instruction and small grouping. _19. I use peer tutoring as necessary. _20. I find ways for all students to excel. _21. I use a variety of teaching strategies. _22. I take into consideration students’ interests and needs in planning instruction. _23. I give students texts that are at varied levels and readability. _24. I incorporate technology into instruction wherever feasible and useful. _25. I differentiate instruction most of the time. _26. I minimize whole class instruction and lecturing. (Why? Because when you over-lecture you never know who really understands; you don’t address individual needs). Now for a final quick, true story: When I was an assistant principal, I entered Mrs. Smith’s classroom one morning and marveled at her beautifully decorated room. I was happy to notice several bulletin boards displaying student work. On closer inspection, I saw boards titled “Our Best Spellers”; “Our Best Math Work”; and “Our Best Writers.” The same names appeared week after week.

I spoke with Mrs. Smith afterward and asked if she didn’t agree that all students need to be, and should be, acknowledged in some way. She agreed and asked me to return the following week, which I did. As I perused the bulletin boards again I noticed that she indeed had included all students’ work and she removed the word Best from each board. She posted Sarah’s score of 45 on her math test, Renaldo’s 55 in spelling, and Jean’s 60 in writing! Ugh?!@#! Postscript: She later assured me that these students would do better next time. Unbelievable! Rather, smart teachers find ways for all students to excel and achieve in positive ways! That’s what differentiating instruction tries to accomplish. Please reach out to me via email if I can assist further. Rabbi Dr. Glanz earned his Ed.D. degree in education from Teachers College, Columbia University. He taught for 15 years in elementary and middle school classrooms, served as a school administrator for five years, and has taught at the college/university levels for the past thirty years. Currently, he lives in Eretz Yisroel and serves as the Program Head for Michlalah-Jerusalem College's master’s degree in educational administration. He also teaches online for Yeshiva University’s Azrieli Gradaute School of Jewish Education and Administration. He hopes to stimulate dialogue and welcomes your comments. You can contact him at Teaching@bayismagazine.com For the author's latest book that was just published, see http://www.yourlivewebdemo.com/landingpages/ ENGAGE/index.html

Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

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History of...

SALADS The word “salad” comes from the Latin salata, meaning “salty.” Salt was used to make a brine which vegetables were seasoned with in ancient Rome.

Salad without dressing is like pizza without cheese, and history has reflected this. Each nation has spun their own take on dressing. The Chinese used soy sauce, the Babylonians used vinaigrette, the Romans used salt, and the Egyptians used oil and vinegar with some oriental spices.

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Although there seems to be a bit of a controversy as to who created the Caesar salad, most believe it was Caesar Cardini in 1924. One day in his restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico, Caesar was out of ingredients for his normal salad and threw together the now famous Caesar salad with what remained in his pantry. The salad was served table-side, and had the romaine lettuce placed in a circle with stems facing out, meant to be eaten using your hands. The salad soon became world renowned, and many famous people were going south of the border to partake of what would become a staple in every restaurant.

While the origin of the word “salad” is Roman, the origin of the word “lettuce” is Greek. Galaktos, meaning “milk” is the root of the Latin word lac. The milky liquid that comes from the stems of lettuce gave way to the Latin word lactuca.

Thanks to the British and the French fighting we are lucky to have mayonnaise, one of the staple ingredients in many salad dressings! The story goes that Duke de Richelieu, in 1756, won a victory over the British in Port Mahon. His personal chef did not have cream to make his normal sauce and used olive oil instead. The new masterpiece was called Mahonnaise, in honor of the Duke’s victory over the British in Port Mahon.

One of the go-to salad dressings is Thousand Island dressing. This dressing, like so many other recipes, was created from lack of ingredients. George Boldt, the owner of the famous Waldorf Astoria, was on a trip next to the thousand islands in the St. Lawrence River, and ran out of some of the ingredients used in his normal dressing. Using what was available, he created the Thousand Islands we know and love.

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By Chaya Steinman

WOMAN’S INTUITION Rena Reiser’s Unique Approach to Health

The Rebbe’s Apple Two men. Each took an apple, made a bracha, and bit into the fruit. One was Rabbi Aharon from Karlin, a famed Chassidic Rebbe, the other was his student. When they finished eating, the Rebbe turned to his student and said, “Do you know the difference between you and me? You were hungry and wanted to eat an apple. To do so, you first needed to make a bracha. In my case, I looked around at the beauty of our world, and desperately wanted to call out in praise of G-d. […] In other words, you made a bracha to eat the apple, and I ate the apple to make a bracha!” On a very basic level, this story compels us to ask the question: why do we eat? Most people hear this story and are awed by the lofty level of the saintly Rebbe, who used food as a vehicle to connect with The Creator. Yet what about the student who ate an apple because he was hungry? Sounds pretty simple: he was hungry, so he ate. But let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact that he was in touch with his body enough to listen to its signals, and then ate nourishing food when he felt hunger. In our culture, we are pulled in one direction by an overabundance of decadent food tempting us to indulge, and

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in the other by a barrage of diet-trends and unattainable body-messages encouraging us to “get fit.” Our brains are so overloaded with conflicting messages about food and weight, that the whisper of the body gets drowned out by the screams of the world around us. Intuitive Eating How do we make sense of all of this confusion? Enter Rena Reiser, a certified health and wellness coach. Living in the beautiful Northern Israeli city of Karmiel, Rena presents as a typical wife and mother. Yet beneath her unassuming veneer, Rena is a truth-seeker to the core. “The falsehoods of the world have always made me crazy,” she shares. When she entered the health coaching world, she found herself frustrated by the band-aid solutions that only offered short-term success, without addressing root issues. “While working with my clients, I noticed that everything would go really well, until something would come up and throw them off kilter, and they wouldn’t be able to incorporate the healthy habits I was giving them anymore.” Always seeking to learn and

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grow, Rena sought a better approach to help her clients, which eventually led her to Intuitive Eating. Founded by prominent registered dietician and nutrition counselor Evelyn Tribole, who Rena eventually trained with, “intuitive eating is an approach that teaches you how to create a healthy relationship with your food, mind, and body — where you ultimately become the expert of your own body.” Rena relates with enthusiasm how she felt upon discovering Intuitive Eating. “These are the tools that I’d been trying to give my clients, but didn’t have the words for. It gave me a structure to help bring them to a greater sense of health, one that is actually sustainable for life.” Instead of being the type of health coach who cheers “let’s get that green smoothie on the table!” the Intuitive Eating framework has helped Rena address what’s really holding her clients back from living healthy lives. More Than Just Food Rena’s passion for her work is evident. “I see Intuitive Eating as life changing.” Through this method, Rena’s clients are not just overcoming their issues

THE 10 PRINCIPLES OF INTUITIVE EATING Reject the Diet Mentality Honor Your Hunger Make Peace with Food Challenge the Food Police Respect Your Fullness Discover the Satisfaction Factor Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food. Respect Your Body Exercise — Feel the Difference Honor Your Health — Gentle Nutrition www.inuitiveeating.com

Listen to your body’s signals about what foods feel good, so you’re eating food that energizes you and makes you feel amazing, and you’re making choices in life that feel amazing.

with food, they use Intuitive Eating tools to improve their marriages, their mothering, their work habits, and ultimately, their relationship with themselves. “It just ends up spilling over into every area of our life, and it’s no longer about the food,” Rena says. Her approach to intuitive eating is refreshingly holistic. She emphasizes “listening to your body’s signals about what foods feel good, so you’re eating food to energize you and make you feel amazing, and you’re making choices in life that feel good and amazing, and no longer doing things that deplete you of energy, or eating foods that deplete you of energy.” Everyone starts out as an intuitive eater. Babies cry

when hungry, and eat until comfortably full. When do we lose our way and stop listening to the natural mechanisms of hunger and satiation? “Oftentimes it happens from well-meaning parents,” Rena explains. We lose our natural body intuition when we are told “you have to finish what’s on your plate. You have to eat your vegetables. You can’t have dessert unless you finish eating. No you can’t have a snack now; it’s not the right time. You can’t be hungry, you ate enough.” In addition, comments about body image from adults who are constantly dieting or putting themselves down can also damage a child’s relationship to food. In contrast to traditional therapy, coaching is very

forward-focused. Still, Rena does do a minimal amount of digging with her clients to understand where their food issues originate. When “Diet” is a 4-Letter Word Why don’t diets work? Rena explains that diets don’t take into account the fact that we are human beings. “We’re not inanimate objects that just need the same thing all the time. We’re constantly changing; our energy needs are always fluctuating, as are our nutritional needs, especially as women. No one diet is able to really cater to everybody.” Though statistics show that diets are successful for a minimal 3-5% of the population, most dieters don’t experience long term maintained weight loss. She cautions, Bayis |

“There’s not some magical diet out there that you just haven’t discovered yet.” Rena reveals the psychology behind the inefficacy of a diet: “When we restrict ourselves from anything in this world, that’s when we want it even more. When we give ourselves unlimited permission to eat or do something, that’s when the desire for it goes down.” The hunger dieters experience from reduced calorie intake can create an obsession with food, and bring cravings for foods that are less nourishing. Restricting a specific food leads to the “forbidden fruit” mentality, and the diet inevitably backfires. While many weight-loss programs are based on the notion that certain foods — namely sugar and white flour — are addictive and should thus be avoided, Rena doesn’t buy the claim. Despite the oft quoted brain imaging research revealing that sugar affects the brain in the same way as cocaine, Evelyn Tribole underscores that none of the studies on food addiction control for food restrictions. The current research ignores that dieting and restrictions

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trigger overeating. Don’t Look at the Scale Originally, many presented intuitive eating as a weight loss tool. However, when people are focused externally on weight, they are unable to truly listen to their bodies. Additionally, current research suggests that weight is a symptom of health problems, not the root cause. Rena explains this with an example: “you wouldn’t give a smoker Crest Whitestrips to improve his yellow teeth. Once he stops smoking he will be healthier, whether or not his teeth whiten. The yellow teeth are a symptom, not the cause.” So too with an overweight person with a heart disease, once they feel free around food and make healthy, nourishing choices, their health will improve whether or not they lose weight. Why a Coach? “In the shtetl,” Rena jokes, “it used to be that people had closer relationships with friends who they could open up to and be held accountable by.” In our frenetic world, a dedicated health coach like

Rena can provide that listening ear. She is 100% focused on helping and guiding her clients. As an objective coach, she’s not afraid to say anything to her clients; it’s her job to push them to become the best version of themselves. With clients ranging in age from age 17 to mid-60’s, Rena is starting a revolution in the Torah world, helping frum women bring the practice of intuitive eating into their lives. The goal is to be able to sit down with amazing food and to enjoy every bite of what you’re eating. “As Jews, food is a very central part of our lives,” Rena acknowledges, but she adds, “the food is there to enhance our simchah, as opposed to being the simchah.” “The way we do one thing in life is usually the way we do everything else, so the way we relate to food is also the way we relate other things in our lives.” Through Rena’s work, her clients improve and elevate their relationship with something as mundane as food, and in turn, elevate their whole lives. To find out more about Rena's work and register for her free class, go to: www.mindovermunchies.com

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Health By Naomi Lerman

verywhere you turn, everything you read, and anyone you talk to recently is talking about wellness, healthy living, and weight loss. Health and wellbeing have always been on some people’s minds, but with the new world of social media and instant communication it feels like living a healthy, full life is on everyone’s mind. Judaism is a food-based religion, with every holiday having its traditional foods. After a month of holidays, we are all feeling the effects of so many seudas packed into a short span of time. In the past, a menu based around the traditional hemishe fare meant vegetables weren’t always on the forefront, and you wouldn’t generally find items on health professional’s top 10 healthful foods list included in the menu. But the developments in the Jewish culinary world have brought such changes to our menus that it isn’t too farfetched to find salads sprinkled with

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Nutrition

superfoods, such as goji berries, on the Shabbos table. There is a deluge of information out there about health and wellness. The thought of sifting through it all can be overwhelming and downright confusing. There are so many terms and buzzwords being thrown around by professionals and nonprofessionals alike. With very few regulations regarding the use of these terms, it is a struggle for the average person to make sense of it all. Studies come out daily contradicting highly accepted nutritional guidelines: Is salt really that bad for me? Is high or low-fat better? Should carbs be avoided? Is going gluten-free just a trend, or is it actually a common allergy that everyone should be careful of? With so much confusion, people may start giving up and eating chocolate every day! (As a side note, if it’s dark chocolate (another superfood) you might be making a healthy choice. Beware though, that may change tomorrow!) Jokes aside, if you relate at all with any

of what I have mentioned, then reaching out to a health professional can make your journey towards health and weight-loss smoother, and leave you with more time to focus on your health — which was the goal you started with before getting bogged down with your research. Over the years, three major health and wellness professions have emerged as the go-to practitioners for people searching for help on their wellness journeys: health coaches, nutritionists, and dietitians. (There are more wellness professions out there, but, it seems like these are currently the most common sought-out options.) If you research the difference between these professions, you would be surprised how much there is out there. Searching for “health coach vs. nutritionist vs. dietician” will garner you hundreds of hits on Google. Here are a few of the differences that will help you to decide which wellness practitioner is best for your specific needs:

Health Coach

The main goal of a health coach is to help you envision, plan and achieve all of your healthrelated goals. Weight loss may be your end goal, but with a holistic approach a health coach will help you discover what the root of your weight issues are. Most likely, your emotional and psychological health will be a part of the weight loss discussion in addition to exercise and practical food advice. A holistic approach is great for many people, because foodrelated issues can be a reflection of unhealthy habits in other areas of a person’s life (such as stress at work or home, and lack of exercise). One thing to keep in mind when seeking out a health coach is, because there is no standardized training, you have to put some time into inquiring about your potential coach’s educational background. There are many different

programs out there, and each program has different requirements. Some health coaches learn about common diets on a superficial level, while other programs are more focused and require the health coach to display a depth of knowledge in order to complete the program. When choosing a health coach, it’s advisable to ask them about their educational background, where they studied, and their general approach to wellness. With this information, you should take a few minutes to research the institution and make sure both the institution and your potential health coach’s ideas on health and weight loss match your own. Generally, health coaches are not able to prescribe supplements, and may not have enough in-depth knowledge to work with someone who has specific dietary requirements.

Bottom line A health coach is a great option for a holistic, whole-body approach to weight loss. Working with a health coach can get you back on track with your food habits, as well as finding ways to create a happier and fuller life for yourself. Make sure to do some research before committing to a specific coach.

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Nutritionist

A nutritionist is a great option for a person who would like to focus primarily on their eating habits. A well-trained nutritionist can help you develop a food plan based on your specific requirements — likes and dislikes included. A nutritionist can also prescribe supplements and may be partially covered by insurance. There is also a burgeoning field known as holistic nutrition, which is generally a combination of the health coach and nutritionist fields. Because the profession “nutritionist” is not protected (meaning there is no governing body) you should start by asking questions about their schooling and background. Technically, anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. With that said, there are certificate programs, whether online or in-person, where nutritionists come away with a deep knowledge of physiology, anatomy and nutrition, among other areas. Take a few minutes to research where they studied and make sure it suits your particular needs and outlook on weight loss and health in general.

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Bottom line Nutritionists are perfect for those looking for a wellness professional that focuses primarily on food and can help with specific food requirements, including developing a food plan. For a more wholebody approach reach out to a holistic nutritionist. Make sure to ask questions and research your potential nutritionist, as the term “nutritionist” is not protected.

Dietitian Dietitians are regulated health professionals with a governing body that requires a specific knowledge base and approach in order to become certified. Requirements include a bachelor’s degree in nutrition sciences and an internship. Dietitians can diagnose clients and help them with treatment and disease management, using regulated approaches such as the Dietary Guidelines for Americans (the standard government issued guidelines and regulations regarding nutrition in America). Traditionally, dietitians are the go-to weight loss professionals for conventional medical practitioners and are covered by

insurance providers. Dietitians are a great option if you are dealing with specific health issues related to weight management. If you are looking for a more holistic approach, a dietician may not be for you. With a primary focus on your food related habits, a dietician often does not take your general lifestyle habits into consideration. There has been some talk about dietitians building their skill set through optional health coach courses to develop scientifically based holistic guidance for their clients. That is definitely a plus for many people seeking this sort of guidance and an exciting option to look out for.

Bottom Line With expertise gained from years of schooling, a dietitian is an excellent option for those seeking help with treatment and disease management. If you are struggling with weight based health issues, your doctor will likely refer you to a dietitian. Although, to some, a dietitian’s approach may be too “by the book,” there is a burgeoning move for dietitians to add the field of health coach to their resume. A holistic dietitian might be the perfect combination of an in-depth scientifically based approach to food, as well as a whole-body wellness experience.

Struggling with weight loss and health issues in general is frustrating enough without the added stress of wading through way too much information that may not even be correct. By reaching out to a health coach, nutritionist or dietitian, whichever works best for you, your wellness journey won’t seem so overwhelming. Best of luck!

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Top Jewish Women in Health and Wellness Miriam Kahn

Occupation Certified Optimal Health Coach and Registered Nurse Phone Number 516-353-7337 Email Address miriamkahn@gmail.com Website miriamkahnrn.ichooseoptimalhealth.com

I became passionate about

assisting others with their health using tools that I did not have as a RN, after losing 40 pounds, dropping four lifestyle related medications, and significantly improving my health. I am now privileged to assist and support many on their path to living a much healthier life.

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“

Optimal health is a journey, taken one step, one habit, and one day at a time. Dr. Wayne Scott Anderson

Health Tip

”

When it comes to turning healthy behaviors into habits, a Health Coach makes all the difference. Scientific research shows that having support improves your chances of getting – and staying – healthy for the long term.

Miriam Kahn has been a registered nurse for over 30 years and a Health Coach for 5. She currently resides in West Hempstead. She loves assisting people on their weight loss journey

Rochie Lebovits Occupation Registered Dietitian, Certified Diabetes Educator (RD, CDE) of MyType Diabetes Management Phone Number 732-806-5695 Email Address rlebovitsrd@gmail.com

“

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure (literally!)

”

I strive to Educate and Empower clients to fit Diabetes into their lifestyle, rather than working their life around their Diabetes.

Health Tip

Cut out grazing throughout the day and you can shed half a pound a week! Small changes lead to big accomplishments in diabetes prevention and weight control.

Rochie Lebovits is an RD, CDE specializing in management of Type I, Type II, prediabetes, gestational diabetes and PCOS. During her years of experience, Rochie recognized a critical gap in patient education. Many of her clients were not aware of the essential role that nutrition plays in controlling glucose levels. She set out to change that, one client at a time. Using in-depth education, and uniquely individualized meal planning, Rochie empowers clients to make lifestyle changes that last.

L.R. Wilen (Laya Rivka Wilen) Business name LiveRight with L.R. Occupation Personal Trainer, Fitness Coach, Teacher Phone Number 720-987-1538. Email Address Lrwilen4@gmail.com Website/Social Follow on facebook: L.R. Wilen. Website coming soon!

“

After a workout session, “That was a waste of time,” said no-one ever.

I strive to teach people how to integrate health into their lifestyle. To guide people on how to LiveRight in terms of fitness and health.

Health Tip

Stay as active as possible! Introduce kids to an active lifestyle from a young age. Roller blading, biking, hiking, family walks, ice skating, jumping rope, and swimming are just a few great ways to help keep you and your family on their toes. Walk to work, bike to work, do what it takes to always move for at least 15 minutes a day. It makes a big diffrence.

L.R. holds a degree in Business for Health Professionals, with a background in Nutrition from Brooklyn College. She also has a Personal Trainers Certificate from NCCPT (National Council for Certified Personal Trainers). L.R. is originally from Denver, Colorado. She hopes to help her clients improve their quality of life through customized, effective fun fitness programs and proper nutrition. Fun facts about her: She loves rollerblading and hates restaurant food.

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”

Laurel Lederman Occupation Health Coach Phone Number 845-558-7647 Email Address laurellederman@gmail.com Website/Social laurellederman.weebly.com Instagram laurellederman #hobokenhealthcoach

I believe that everyone

deserves a personal cheerleader while making dietary and lifestyle changes - one size does not fit all nor should it! I support individuals in finding their own path to health and inner happiness.

“

If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don’t.

”

Health Tip

Sleep hack: Create a nighttime ritual that will stick. Try putting a hot towel behind your neck before bed each night to help your body unwind naturally.

Laurel is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and discovered holistic health in 2009 while searching for ways to heal herself from chronic health concerns. In the process she discovered a love of Restorative Yoga, Acupuncture, Meditation, and clean eating. Additionally, Laurel is a passionate blogger and curates a healthy lifestyle blog at laurellederman.weebly.com. She also contributes to the Huffington Post - Healthy Living Section and is a Lifestyle Contributer for Hoboken Girl and Growing in Jersey City. Her upbeat attitude and love of life inspires her clients to see their lives from a fresh perspective while having fun making healthy shifts.

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Tamar Neuman Occupation Registered Dietitian at Cliffside Nursing and Rehab and owner of Tamar Neuman Dietetic Counseling, a private practice focused on weight loss, pre/postnatal nutrition, and heart health nutrition. Email address TamarneumanRD@gmail.com Social Facebook: Tamar Neuman Instagram: Tamar Neuman RD

My mission is to enhance the health and qual-

ity of life of my clients by creating a practical nutritional program based on their individual needs and goals. My goal is to educate and empower my clients to make realistic and sustainable choices to reach and maintain their goals.

Health tip

Real life is hectic and at times, unpredictable. There is no one size fits all when it comes to nutrition. The key to long term success is being committed to a balanced and individualized approach, one that is both healthy and practical.

“

Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel

”

-Kevin Trudea

Tamar Neuman is a Registered and Certified Dietitian Nutritionist with a degree in dietetics from Eastern Michigan University. She specializes in weight loss, heart health, and pre and post natal nutrition. Tamar also works as a part time Dietitian in Woodcrest Nursing and Rehabilitation in Queens, New York, where she creates and modifies diets based on the residents needs and medical requirements. From when she was a young girl, Tamar enjoyed experimenting with food. As she matured and developed a passion for health, becoming a dietitian was her obvious next step. Tamar is so greatful for realizing her dream of utilizing her love for a healthy lifestyle to help others feel better and live better lives.

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Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

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in the

Recipes and Photos By Naomi Hasan

Kitchen

Fall Salads

This issue’s recipes come from the talented Naomi Hazan of “One Life To Eat.” Naomi’s recipes are not only delicious looking, but many are healthy as well! With all the heavy Yom Tov food behind us, now is a great time to incorporate some lighter, good-for-you foods into our diets. Summer isn’t the only time for salads. Here, Naomi shares three salads that are perfect for fall and all year round.

To see more recipes from Naomi visit https://www.facebook.com/Myonelifetoeat/ Instagram: @onelifetoeat 30

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QUINOA POMEGRANATE SALAD 2 cups dry quinoa ₃∕₄ cup pomegranate seeds ½ cup toasted slivered almonds ½ cup chopped cilantro

DRESSING: ⅟₄ cup lemon juice ⅟₄ cup honey ⅟₄ cup soy sauce ⅟₄ cup extra virgin olive oil *adjust according to taste 1. In a medium saucepan, cook quinoa according to package instructions (1½ cup of water per cup of quinoa).

2. O nce the quinoa is cooked, mix dressing ingredients and add to the warm quinoa. 3. W hen the quinoa has cooled add in the toasted almonds, pomegranate seeds and chopped cilantro. Stir well and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Serve at room temperature.

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QUINOA TABBOULEH 2 cups dry quinoa 5 Roma tomatoes, seeded 1 large white onion, minced 1 cup chopped fresh parsley ⅓ cup chopped fresh mint (optional) ⅟₂ fresh lemon juice 3 tablespoons olive oil Salt to taste

BUTTERNUT SQUASH KALE SALAD 1 large bunch of kale 1 ⅟₂ cups roasted butternut squash ⅟₂ medium red onion, sliced thinly ⅟₄ cup roasted sunflower seeds DRESSING: ⅟₄ cup apple cider vinegar 1 tablespoon olive oil 3 ⅟₂ tablespoons maple syrup Salt Black pepper ₃ ∕₄ teaspoon granulated garlic powder

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1. I n a medium saucepan, cook the quinoa according to package instructions (1½ cup water per cup of quinoa). 2. O nce cooked, add the lemon juice, olive oil and salt to the warm quinoa and allow to cool completely. 3. A dd in the herbs, tomatoes and onions and mix well. Refrigerate for 1 hour, serve cold or at room temperature. 1. Cube fresh butternut squash and bake on 350°F for 20 minutes until tender. Once baked, set aside and let cool. 2. I n a large bowl massage the washed and stemmed kale leaves for 5 minutes until slightly wilted. This will prevent a woody texture and will allow the dressing to adhere to the kale. 3. I n a separate bowl mix all of the ingredients for the dressing and mix with kale. 4. Top with the roasted squash, red onion, and sunflower seeds.

Must-Have Kitchen

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Tips for

Healthy Living

Just

e c n a D

Getting into an exercise routine isn’t always easy. Even once you find something you enjoy doing, you most likely have a hard time sticking to it. That’s why it may be best to drop the pressure of working out in the gym or using any fancy equipment and instead — DANCE! Dancing will get you moving without you even realizing you are “exercising.” Besides for the fact that it is fun, it will also put you in a great mood. So find some music you like and dance like no one is watching! (Those of us lacking dancing skills are definitely hoping no one is!).

Here are three ways to incorporate dancing into your day

WHILE CLEANING Turn tidying up the house into a dance party by running and dancing from room to room while putting things away.

WITH THE KIDS Entertain your kids when they are “bored” (yet again) by dancing with them!

SET ASIDE TIME Make a playlist of songs and dedicate a time during the day that you will dance until the whole playlist is done. If you will be dancing with kids, this is a great time to make up some dance routines to teach them!

! ! g n i c n a d n u Have f 34

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LR Wilen, C.P.T. Personal Trainer LiveRight is a one-on-one and group personal training business that is dedicated to helping you improve your quality of life through customized, effective fun fitness programs and proper nutrition.

720-987-1538

LRWILEN4@GMAIL.COM

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Eye on Health

The Truth about the Sugar Industry

utrition experts recommend women consume less than 25 grams, or 6 teaspoons, a day of added sugar (9 teaspoons for men). Yet the average American consumes almost 20 teaspoons a day! And that doesn’t even include fruit juice, a known sugar bomb. How did we allow ourselves to stray so far? Powerful lobbyists with deep pockets played a big role in our overly lax boundaries with a substance that is tanking the world’s developed nations. Recent findings show that 50 years ago the sugar industry quietly paid for research to blame fat for heart disease and minimize sugar’s role. (Of course, now we know that the highly inflammatory effects of excess sugar are a major contributor to heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and other chronic diseases.) Unfortunately, the propaganda campaign didn’t stop 50 years ago; it’s still going strong today. Sickly sweet sales and marketing For instance, a grape-juice funded study shows grape juice is good for brain function, despite it packing a whopping 36 grams of sugar per cup, more than what a person should consume in an entire day. Coca-Cola spent more than $130 million dollars to fund research essentially saying exercise is more important than diet in the weight loss battle. While exercise is indeed important, how you fuel your body is equally important. And, in a brazen show of hubris, the National Confectioner’s Association funded research that concluded children who eat candy weigh less than those who don’t. Despite being naysaid by one of its own scientists, the study nevertheless went on to be published in a respected journal. Although food giants can buy their way into scientific journals, investigative journalists find these studies are poorly designed, incomplete, and only highlight the positives while ignoring the negatives. Because the average journalist is not trained in how to discern good research from bad, bad studies get ample press. To spotlight these problems, one science writer conducted a hoax study that concluded eating chocolate causes weight loss and watched the media play it up.

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CAN YOU BELIEVE SCIENCE? YES, BE MINDFUL OF FADS Does that mean you can’t believe any science? No, plenty of good research is still happening. The trick is to ferret out the nutritional guidelines based on hundreds of solid studies and read the headline grabbers (chocolate linked with weight loss) with healthy skepticism. At the end of the day, some nutritional truisms have held fast over the years: Eat lots of different vegetables every day Eat a whole foods diet (avoid processed foods) Avoid or minimize sugars, junk foods, sodas, and juices Eat healthy fats Avoid the foods to which you are sensitive (gluten and dairy are common ones) Exercise daily Cultivate positive experiences, habits, and thoughts

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Chapter 5 Chava visits a Jewish town to try to find some basic information about Judaism. She is surprised and confused by all of the different things she sees. After spending an entire day in the town and feeling more and more distressed, confused, and like a stranger in her own religion, she becomes determined to find out who she really is...

riving home later that night, Chava’s hands were still shaking. She had seen so many things that were new to her, eaten delicious food at the local deli, and gotten a small taste of what life looked like for religious Jews. But the craziest part—more so than driving two hours away just to watch people live their daily lives—was what happened at the end. And even crazier—the fact that she said yes. After leaving the bakery, Chava had turned around in circles, looking for something to fix her gaze on, something that would help her. Her eyes had come to rest on a storefront filled with books. She made a beeline for the door. If there was any place in this whole town that could help her at that moment, it was a bookstore. Inside the bookstore felt different than other bookstores Chava had visited. It was quiet, as many bookstores were, but it was more than that. The people perusing the shelves didn’t look like they were just looking for the next summer read. They looked like they were searching for life-saving waters, their fingers trailing along leather-bound titles in Hebrew like they were prized possessions. Repressing a shiver, Chava made her way to the front desk, where she had to hit a bell before a young girl who seemed to be around her

finding chava

Rabbi Dr. Yoseif Rabbi (Jeffrey) Daniel Glanz Glanz

age appeared. There was a split second when each inspected the other. Chava quickly noted that this girl was wearing a collared shirt that she had buttoned up to the top button with a black skirt that covered her knees, and a braid that wrapped around her shoulder to rest on her collar. The girl, Chava was sure, must have noticed Chava’s short sleeve,

Now, finally in the place she felt had answers, Chava had no idea what to say. low-necked shirt and denim jeans. She was already used to being looked at after walking around town, and tried to ignore it. “Can I help you find something?” The girl asked. Now, finally in the place she felt had answers, Chava had no idea what to say. “Um—” The girl stared, and Chava stared back. She genuinely had no idea what she was doing or where she was going with any of this.

“I was looking for some answers about something,” Chava said. “About a chuppah.” That seemed to be the best place to start. “I thought maybe you could help?” The girl nodded. “Are you doing a project for school?” “Do people do that?” The girl raised an eyebrow, and Chava blushed. She knew she sounded stupid. But now she was also feeling cheated. She knew her high school had never taught her anything about religious Judaism. “Sometimes people come in from local high schools. They do projects on different religions.” “I’m just looking to research something on my own.” “About a chuppah, you said?” “Yes.” Chava tapped her fingers on the counter, trying not to seem as out of place as she was. While she was standing there, a man came to the counter with three red leather-bound volumes with red speckled print on the edges. He was wearing a white shirt and a black jacket with what looked like long strings hanging from his waist. And on his head—Chava couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She had seen a few of them on the street, but this was the first time one was standing right next to her, one she could actually talk to. “Excuse me, but you’re wearing a black hat.” The man had been exchanging

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money with the girl behind the counter, and they both stopped and looked at her. Chava felt her cheeks begin to burn. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I just— it’s just—this is the hat that my father wore—I mean, I saw this picture of my parents, and my father was wearing a hat just like that, and I’ve never seen one like that before, and my parents aren’t religious or anything, I mean, we don’t do anything at all—and I just—your hat...” Chava forced herself to stop before she embarrassed herself beyond rescue. The man, whose eyes had gotten rounder as she spoke, cleared his throat. “A lot of us wear these hats,” he said. The silence between the three of them was palpable. “I didn’t know,” Chava said. “Let me show you around the shop,” the girl behind the desk said. The man nodded to Chava. “I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he said. He took the books the girl had bagged for him and left. “What’s your name?” the girl behind the desk asked. “I’m Ava,” Chava said. “Ava,” the girl said. “I’m Shoshana. This is my father’s store. I don’t usually work here, but my brother is sick, so I’m filling in for him.”

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“Nice to meet you,” Chava said. “So you’re doing a bit more than just research on a chuppah, it sounds like.” Chava let out a little laugh. “I guess it is more than that, yeah. But I don’t even know where to start.” Shoshana nodded. “Maybe we can start in the English section.” She led Chava over to a few shelves stacked from floor to ceiling with books. Chava was amazed. “I could stay here all day,” she said, “there is so much.” “Well you might want to start slow,” Shoshana said, but Chava was barely listening. She was seeing entire sets of books on the topics she had seen online. Whole volumes on the Sabbath, the festivals—there was just so much. “Is there a book on hats?” Chava said. Shoshana laughed. “I’m sorry—” She said, quickly covering her mouth and suppressing the giggles. “No books on hats, no. The black hat is very normal. Everyone here wears them. There wouldn’t be a book on it.” “What’s tz—tzn—what’s that?” Chava pointed to a book with a weirdly spelled word in it, and Shoshana took it down from the shelf. “Tznius,” she said. Chava tried to repeat the pronunciation in her mind.

“What is that?” Chava examined the book in Shoshana’s hands. Shoshana began to answer her, but Chava cut her off. “Hey—look! That’s my name!” “What’s your name?” “That!” Chava pointed to the author’s name, embossed on the bottom front cover. It said Chava Stein. “That’s my name.” she said again. “Chava is your name?” Shoshana asked. She was looking at Chava strangely. “Well I’m not good at pronouncing it—but yeah that sounds right, the way you said it.” Shoshana was still staring at her. “Oh—my parents call me Ava. I usually go by Ava because I can’t pronounce my name. I mean, nobody can, really.” Shoshana tapped her fingers a few times against the back cover of the book and then replaced it. “Chava,” she said. “Ch. Like you’re trying to cough something up.” Chava tried it a few times, and Shoshana nodded encouragingly. “Do you mind if I call you Chava, instead of Ava?” Shoshana asked. “Sure,” Chava said. She had turned back to look at the books again, but she could feel Shoshana still looking at her. “I have a better idea,” Shoshana said. “If you really want to learn

Rabbi Daniel Glanz

more about Judaism.” Chava turned to her expectantly, and Shoshana smiled brightly. “I want you to come to us for Shabbos.”    Chava smiled now, thinking about Shoshana, but it also made her stomach drop. Going to a random person’s house, and staying overnight there? What if she was murdered? Kidnapped? Her parents would never agree, and that meant she would have to ask Evie to lie for her. Which meant that she would have to explain a little bit of what was going on to Evie. Chava pushed the thought aside. She still felt weird about her last conversation with Evie, and didn’t know how she was going to tell her about everything she was doing. Instead, Chava thought more about Shoshana, and the books in the store. She had purchased one book on the basics of Judaism, and one book entirely about the Sabbath, since she was soon going to experience one for the first time. “Shabbos,” she said out loud. Shoshana had taught her how to pronounce it. The word felt foreign on her tongue. “Sha-ab-b-o-s,” Chava said again. Shoshana had explained that

she would need to arrive on Friday before sunset, and that she would stay overnight at Shoshana’s house and leave Saturday night after nightfall. She explained briefly how they didn’t use electricity on Shabbos. Chava shrugged. It seemed weird, but if that’s what they wanted to do, that was fine. Anyway, she wasn’t interested in putting on long skirts and kerchiefs and not using electricity. She just wanted to know a bit more about what Jews did. And maybe then she could understand what had happened to her parents. She knew it was crazy. She knew without a doubt that what she was doing was insane. But there was a drive within her to explore what this all meant. She had a whole week to plan for her trip to Shoshana’s house for Shabbos, and she was going to make the most of it. When Chava arrived home, her father was still awake, sitting in the living room. “You’re home a bit late,” he said. Chava shrugged. “It’s Sunday and it’s summer. I don’t have anything else to do.” “Want to come sit?” Her father gestured to the couch. Chava hesitated, if only because her father often talked much less than her mother, and she was sure that her mother had told her father

about their argument. She stepped into the living room and sat on the arm of the couch. “What’s up?” she asked. “Mom told me a little about your conversation,” he said. Chava nodded. “I want you to know that we have raised you in the best way we can,” he said. Chava drew a pattern in the carpet with the tip of her shoe. “We made the best decisions we could to make sure you would have the best life possible.” “Okay,” Chava said. What did he expect her to say? Her father patted her on the arm. “So we won’t have any more questions about this, right?” Chava blinked and looked up at her father. “Questions about what?” she asked. “About any of this stuff.” “Like, your chuppah?” Chava’s father’s cleared his throat. “About any of this stuff.” For a second, Chava remembered everything she had seen in the town, and then of Shoshana’s words: I want you to come to us for Shabbos. “Of course not,” Chava said. “No more questions.” No more questions, she thought. Only answers. to be continued...

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“IN ORDER TO BE A REALIST, YOU MUST BELIEVE IN MIRACLES”

H O L I S T I C H E ALT H AND W E LLNE SS C O A C H 845 - 5 5 8 -7 64 7 L a u re l Le d e rm an @g m ail . co m

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Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

The Broken Part 1 “I’m getting engaged,” Devorah said out loud, to no one in particular. She closed her eyes tight and couldn’t keep the joy in her chest from bursting into a smile. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. “I’m getting engaged!” Her roommates were gone, and she had just gotten off the phone with Asher. They had talked about it last night on their date, and they had talked about it just now on the phone. They were going to pick a day to visit her parents in Ramat Beit Shemesh before the end of the week, and then she would be engaged. She couldn’t wait to tell Elisheva. Devorah laid down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, drawing lazy circles in the air above her head. When she had first started dating, she had heard a million different pieces of advice — never say no to a date, always be positive about a date, improve your middos, and daven if nothing is working out, never be jealous of someone else — but she had said no to dates, and she had been negative, and she had fallen asleep instead of saying Tehillim, and she had been jealous of girls who made it seem so easy. She had nearly given up on ever finding someone. And then her Rebbetzin’s sister had called her with a shidduch. A young man in learning, she had said. Asher Rabinowitz. There was a knock at the door, and Devorah sat straight up on the couch. “Who is it?” She asked. It was getting late, and she wasn’t expecting visitors.

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CROWN By Lily Rosenberg

“It’s me.” Devorah swung towards the door and flung it open. She grabbed Elisheva and hugged her as tight as she could. “Shevy,” she began, dragging her into the apartment. She didn’t know why she was here, but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. She wanted Elisheva to be the first to know. “Shevy —you won’t believe–” Devorah closed her mouth, and the smile slowly slipped from her face. Elisheva’s face was red, and she was wiping tears from her eyes. Her sheitel was askew, and Devorah leaned over to tug it into place. “Shevy?” She asked. Elisheva sat down on the couch and stared at the carpet, not uttering a word. Devorah sat next to her and pulled Elisheva’s head onto her shoulder. Tears began to soak the front of her shirt. Devorah felt her stomach tighten, a thousand horrible scenarios beginning to play out in her mind. Elisheva was many things, but she was not a crier, and she did not panic. Devorah had known Elisheva her whole life. Their parents had moved to Israel together when she and Elisheva were still in high school. They had done everything together, until Elisheva had gotten married this past spring. She had never seen her cry like this. All thoughts of her engagement were silenced. After a long while, Elisheva lifted her head. The tears had left red tracks down her cheeks, and her eyes were bloodshot. “What’s going on?” Devorah asked. She kept Bayis |

Elisheva’s hand in hers. “I’m getting divorced,” Elisheva whispered. The sounds of the city outside the window reached deafening levels. Devorah slowly released Elisheva’s hand. Her heart felt like it was beating from below her stomach. She couldn’t bring herself to form a single word. Instead, they stared at each other, Elisheva with her eyelashes stuck together by tears, and Devorah, with horror filling her chest to the brim. “You’re– you’re–” Devorah swallowed. Her words were being choked out by an overwhelming sensation of disbelief. She had just been with Elisheva as a kallah. She had just been at her sheva brachos. That had only been six months ago. And she, Devorah, had just been about to get engaged. “What happened?” Devorah finally said. “Are you okay?” Elisheva shook her head, and pressed her face back into Devorah’s shoulder. Her best friend’s sobs filled her ears, and Devorah couldn’t help but imagine Asher’s face last night, when they had stood underneath the stars and talked about getting engaged. She remembered when Elisheva had gotten engaged to Aharon. She remembered the vort, the parties, buying the dress. Elisheva had been overjoyed that entire time. More happy than Devorah had been five minutes ago, imagining her own engagement. What changed? “Shevy?” She asked. “I’m going to stay by my sister tonight,” Elisheva said. “I can’t go home. I’ve already asked him for a get.” A pang hit Devorah’s chest. I’ve already asked him for a get. She had just stood by Elisheva’s side and watched her eyes brimming with tears as Aharon came to badek her. She hadn’t mistaken that bliss. She had never thought that she would be sitting here with Elisheva now, hearing these words. “I’m so sorry.” Devorah said. She kissed the top of Elisheva’s head. “I’m so sorry, Shevy.”   

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It was nearly four in the morning before Devorah was able to fall asleep. Elisheva had left around one, after all Devorah’s roommates came home and Elisheva’s sister had come to pick her up. Devorah had gotten into her bed and tried to ignore the sounds of her roommate’s snoring. She had stared into the darkness for hours. She felt numb. Her chest felt like it had been hollowed out and replaced with bricks. She couldn’t comprehend everything that had just happened. All she could think to herself was Shevy had been so happy. The words didn’t stop repeating themselves in her mind until they finally morphed and twisted and haunted her as she drifted into sleep. The next morning, Devorah awoke in a panic, not being able to remember her dream but her breath still coming in short bursts. She immediately rushed to her phone and called Elisheva, but there was no answer. She sighed, sat down on her bed, and began to run her fingers through her hair. She had no idea what to do now. Elisheva had not been the first of their friends to get married, but she was the first one to get divorced. Devorah shuddered at the idea. Her phone began to buzz, and she pulled it towards her ear. “Shevy? I want to come talk to you—” “Devorah?” A man’s voice answered back. Devorah’s heart nearly stopped. She let out a long breath but was unable to force her lips to form words, not quite sure she knew why. There was a short silence on the other line. “Are you all right?” Devorah closed her eyes as tight as possible. She willed her throat to work. “Are–are you still available to meet me? Tonight?” She had never heard his voice sound so small. She couldn’t escape the memory of Elisheva’s tears soaking into her shoulder. “Sure” she said. She hung up, and her phone fell onto the bed. Her hands were shaking. She brought trembling fingers to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes. There was a terrible, Bayis |

pounding pain in her chest, and she couldn’t shake it, not even when she stood, dressed, and started making breakfast for all of her roommates. It was a beautiful morning in Jerusalem, with the sun just peaking over the edges of the white-stone outside her window, casting a pink and gold shadow over the clouds. But she felt like something in her had died. “You cooking eggs or burning eggs?” Devorah nearly jumped, and then turned over her shoulder while flipping the eggs with a spatula. “I got distracted,” she said. “But they’re fine!” She poked one with the edge of her spatula to make her point. Shaindy laughed and patted her on the back. “Just kidding. It smells great in here.” “Thanks.” Devorah said. “What are you up to today?” Shaindy began washing dishes and placing them on the drying rack. “Oh–” Devorah swallowed against a sudden, painful lump in her throat. “Nothing. I’m visiting Mrs. Potash this afternoon.” Shaindy nodded, and leaned in to scrub a particularly stubborn piece of grease out of a pan. Devorah could nearly hear her next question hanging in the air. Everyone in the apartment knew she had been dating someone, and that it had been going well. She had never had a reason to keep it secret. “Are you going out again tonight?” “Yes,” she said, letting out a sigh she hadn’t realized she had kept in. She quickly flipped the eggs onto a plate and brought them into the dining room, where she set out five plates and forks. She stood with her hands on her hips, staring at the table. She wasn’t hungry at all, and she had no desire to sit with everyone and risk more questions. Instead, she grabbed her bag and said goodbye to Shaindy so quickly that she hardly had time to lift her head from the dishes. Devorah didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she had to walk. The autumn air was cool on her face, but the sun beat down on

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Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

the back of her neck. She flipped her ponytail onto her back and sat down at the closest bus stop, with no thought to actually catch a bus. She sometimes liked just sitting there, watching the people who walk back and forth. Most of the time she saw seminary girls, sometimes in denim skirts and blouses, and sometimes in pleated black skirts and button-downs. Most of the time they came in clusters, huddling together and whispering, sometimes laughing out loud. Sometimes Devorah saw couples with strollers, women with crying babies, women with sleeping children. Sometimes she saw groups of yeshivah bachurs, clustered together just as tightly as the seminary girls had been. This morning, it pained her every time she saw a man pass in a white shirt and black pants. She watched a stray cat chase a bird into the middle of the busy intersection. An Egged bus filled her vision until all she saw was green and black. Devorah visited Mrs. Potash for a majority of the afternoon, and they talked about her seminary and Mrs. Potash’s grandchildren. When Devorah got home, she marched into the kitchen and began soaking dishes. She found it hard to focus. She scrubbed pots, dried pans, and stacked cups in the cupboard. She swept the floor and dusted around bookcases, firmly keeping all semi-formed thoughts out of her mind. There was too much to think about. She was worried that she hadn’t heard from Elisheva since last night. She had called multiple times since this morning and left several messages, but had no response. Devorah sat down on the couch to catch her breath from cleaning. On a whim, she took out her phone and dialed Elisheva again, expecting to leave another message. Elisheva answered on the fourth ring. She sounded breathless. “You’re there,” Devorah said, half-surprised. “I missed your calls,” Elisheva said. Devorah made her way for a seat in the back so she had more room. “Are you okay?” She asked. Bayis |

SHE DIDN’T WANT TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED WHILE SHE WAS STILL CLEARLY REELING FROM IT, BUT COULDN’T HELP HERSELF. Elisheva paused. “I’m with my sister,” she said. Devorah sighed, and pressed her fingers into her eyes. “Do you want me to come over?” “Yes.” “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”    Elisheva’s sister Ruchie answered the door. “Come in,” she said. She was five months pregnant, and looked quite pale. Her voice was scratchy. “She’s in the living room,” Devorah thanked her and then made her way towards the cornered-off living room. Elisheva was sitting on the couch, reading. “Hey,” Devorah said. She sat next to her and put a hand at the top of Elisheva’s head. “Thanks for coming,” Elisheva said. “Always.” Devorah said. They sat in silence for a while. “How are you doing?” Devorah asked. Elisheva shrugged. Her head fell onto Devorah’s shoulder, and she put her arms around Elisheva’s shoulders. “Has it been all right, staying here?” Devorah asked. “Ruchie’s been okay with it,” Elisheva said. Devorah knew that Ruchie had rough pregnancies. She couldn’t imagine how she and her husband felt about what was happening.

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“Have you spoken with your parents yet?” Elisheva made a small noise and then curled her legs up underneath her and let out a sigh. Devorah tightened her hug. “Do you want to go get—” “There were so many signs,” Elisheva said. Devorah bent her head down to see the side of Elisheva’s face pressed into her sleeve. Elisheva was staring at the carpet with a fixed, intense expression. “Signs?” She said. “There were so many signs,” Elisheva said. “I missed them all.” Devorah’s heart began to pound. She didn’t want to ask what happened while she was still clearly reeling from it, but couldn’t help herself. “What happened?” “I missed them all,” Elisheva said again. “Shevy?” Devorah whispered. “He never told me.” The room was half-lit by a single lamp in the corner, and the window curtains were illuminated with a soft yellow by the lights from the street. The fan spun quietly, and there was a faint sound of a child’s voice coming from a different room. The clock ticked above them. “What happened, Shevy?” “He had a problem for years.” Elisheva lifted her head. There were unshed tears standing in her eyes. “He never told me.” Devorah locked eyes with her best friend. “Alcohol,” Elisheva said. A tear fell down her cheek and she brushed it away. Devorah swallowed the lump in her throat. She tried to remember everything she had ever heard and seen about Aharon. A drinking problem had never even been whispered about. “I first noticed it on Purim,” Elisheva said. “But I thought he was just fulfilling the mitzvah. Then, my cousin got married–Shuly, do you remember her? and–and he was hardly able to walk when we got home. But I thought he was just being mesame’ach chosson v’kallah.” Devorah’s phone began to buzz, but she ignored it.

“We went to two other weddings before Pesach. He did it again both times. Both times I had to literally drag him into the apartment before he fell over. I kept thinking it was just for the simchah.” Elisheva shook her head. “I feel so betrayed.” “Shevy—” Elisheva shook her head again. “He hid it from me. He left the house every morning and told me he was going to seder. What else would I expect? A month ago I got a call from his chavrusa. Where was Aharon? Did I know? He hadn’t been to seder in months.” Devorah’s phone buzzed again, and she made a quick gesture for Elisheva to continue while she began to dig through her bag for the phone. “I didn’t know who he was, Devorah. He began to come home later and later. He was a different person.” Devorah pulled her phone out, and saw Asher’s number on the screen. Her stomach dropped. She hadn’t realized how much time had passed. “I didn’t feel safe there,” Elisheva whispered. Devorah’s phone buzzed once more, and she looked deep into her friend’s eyes. “He was a different person.” “I have to go.” The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. Elisheva blinked several times at her, and Devorah put a hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–” “It’s fine,” Elisheva said. She wiped the tears from her face and stood up. “I’ll walk you out.” “Shevy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that at all. I just forgot I agreed to meet someone, and I really can’t keep them waiting.” “It’s fine. I know you have other things to do than listen to me.” “Shevy, please.” “It’s fine,” Elisheva said again. She was holding the door to the apartment open. Devorah struggled to hold back her own tears. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I can come back after the meeting. It won’t be very long.” Elisheva shrugged, but Devorah could tell that

Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz

she wanted her to come back. She threw a quick kiss on Elisheva’s cheek and then rushed down the stairs towards the street. She hailed a cab to the Rova, and nearly tripped over her skirt running towards the coffee shop where they had decided to meet the night before. When she flung the door open, wisps of her hair flying in her face and stuck to her lips, Asher was standing next to a small table, his phone in his hand. Their eyes met, and he dropped his phone into his pocket and his face broke out into a wide smile. Devorah recognized that smile. It was the same one she had had last night, before she had seen Elisheva. Asher gestured for her to sit at the table. She hesitated only for a second at the threshold. “I was worried about you,” Asher said. “I hadn’t heard from you all day.” Devorah nodded. She didn’t know where to look. She had to look somewhere other than his face. “How are you?” he asked. “Baruch Hashem,” Devorah said automatically. She could feel his eyes boring into her face. She dropped her gaze to the menu, which she had snatched from a table beside them and was now staring at intently. “What would you like to get?” She asked. There was a pause. “Maybe we can get bagels,” Devorah said. “Or maybe we should go somewhere else and get ice cream. Maybe you want something different? Why are we here, we could just get falafel and pita—” “What’s wrong?” Asher said. Devorah folded the menu in front of her, still staring at the front. She couldn’t meet his eyes. She didn’t know what she would find there. Last night she had seen him, and her heart had been fluttering. Tonight, she was shaking so badly she had to sit on her hands. “I’m sorry, I just had a hard day,” Devorah said. She stretched out each of her arms. “Can we go for a walk maybe?” “Sure.” Asher was already on his feet and holding the door open for her. She muttered a thank Bayis |

you and took a deep breath of the evening air. Her feet immediately directed her down the small slope towards the stairs that led down to the Kotel. Asher followed beside her. “I learned very well today,” he said. Devorah hardly heard. She had no idea what was wrong with her. All day she had felt queasy about this date. This date with Asher, the man she had planned to get engaged to twenty-four hours prior. She couldn’t get a hold on her feelings, and her thoughts were running wild through her head. Devorah shook a curl of hair out of her face. Asher was talking about something his Rav had said to him. Devorah tried to focus. This is Asher, she said to herself. This is your chosson. She slid her eyes towards his profile as they walked. The word chosson repeated itself in her mind. He was kind, and gentle, and gracious and he was — everything she had always thought she wanted. He looked towards her, and for a moment her heart burst with warmth. I feel so betrayed. Devorah quickly looked away and shook her head to rid herself of the image of Elisheva crying on the couch. “It’s nice outside tonight,” she said. Maybe if she talked it would clear her thoughts. “It is,” Asher said. They had reached the ledge overlooking the Kotel plaza. Devorah closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ground herself. “I’m excited to go to see your parents,” Asher said. Devorah looked at him. She allowed herself to fully look at him, to look into his eyes. This is my chosson, she thought again. She remembered, for a split second, every date they had gone on, every beautiful moment they had spent together, every conversation they had had that made her feel so close to him, made her feel that he was the best, most honest person she had ever known. “Are you excited to become a kallah?” Asher asked. “Devorah?” A tingling sensation began at the tips of her

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fingers, and her breath started to come in shorter, faster bursts. She pressed her hands into her face and tried to stop her brain from repeating Elisheva’s words in an endless beat—I didn’t know who he was. He was a different person. “Devorah?” He was a different person. He was a different person. Devorah sucked in a huge breath. “I can’t,” she whispered. “You–what?” She looked into his eyes this time, but tears had begun to blur her vision. “I can’t–go–to Ramat Beit Shemesh. I can’t go.” “You–you have an obligation? At the seminary?” “No–” Devorah’s heart hurt with every beat. His eyes were so hopeful. “No. I can’t go, to get engaged.” Asher stared at her. In a split second she saw every kind and gracious tendril of his personality pull away from her. He stood a little straighter, and took a step back. “What–” He paused and straightened his hat, although it hadn’t been tilted. He ran his fingers along the edges of the brim. “What is it that changed?” Devorah shook her head, and tears flowing. “I don’t know,” she whispered. Asher brought a hand to the knot of his tie, and he tugged at it until it was in the center of his collar. “I don’t understand,” he said. Devorah wanted to say a million things, but nothing came out. The thoughts that had been running through her mind like wildfire had silenced, and there was nothing but fog. “I’m sorry,” she said. And then she turned, and she walked away as quickly as possible, her fists clenched stiffly at her side. She sniffled one last time, drew her hand across her eyes, and then set her gaze far ahead of her at the top of the roof of the Churva Synagogue. Elisheva needed her. That’s what she focused on. Elisheva needed her. to be continued....

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Shabbos Halacha

Toys and Games on Shabbos 5 (Halachos of Muktzeh)

With the incredible variety of toys and different ways that they work and are played with, inevitably Shabbos questions arise. We will try to tackle as many of the questions and possible problems that we can. Here are some of the questions that arise: Are building toys considered muktzeh (Kli She’milachto L’Issur, see sidebar for an explanation on this term) on Shabbos, since their primary usage is building? No. As we have discussed in previous issues, certain toys are 100% permitted to build with on Shabbos like MagnaTiles and Kapla, and therefore are surely Kli She’milachto L’Heter. Other building toys that connect — like Clics or Legos, which R’ Moshe Feinstein and R’ Shlomo Zalman allow children to play with (but don’t allow adults to help them) would also be considered Kli She’milachto L’Heter. The reasoning for this is that since they are specifically a children’s toy, and children are allowed to play with them, that makes their PRIMARY usage permitted on Shabbos. What category does a children’s bicycle or tricycle fall under? The overwhelming minhag is

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for children to not ride bicycles on Shabbos (some say for fear that something will break and that you might fix it on Shabbos, while others say that it is simply too “weekdayish”). As such, they would be a Kli She’milachto L’Issur and would only be allowed to be moved if you needed the space it was occupying. And since the minhag is to allow children to ride tricycles, they would be a Kli She’milachto L’Heter and not muktzeh at all.

be consulted about this point). If one holds of this prohibition, then those games would have the status of Kli She’milachto L’Issur, and if not, then they are a Kli She’milachto L’Heter.

What is the status of board games like Scrabble or Chess on Shabbos? Games like chess and checkers which are fully permitted on Shabbos are Kli She’milachto L’Heter and not muktzeh. Games in which a score is kept are a little bit more complicated. There are those that prohibit playing any game in which a score is normally written down for fear that they might write down the score on Shabbos. (A Rav should

My child just took out a box of puzzle pieces from our toy drawer. Since we said earlier that jigsaw puzzles were considered Kosaiv (Writing) and therefore not allowed to be done on Shabbos, are the pieces of a puzzle or the

Rabbi Zecharia Steinman

The Halachos of Muktzeh Muktzeh is an aspect of Shabbos that affects every person every Shabbos and needs to be understood properly. Any object that cannot be carried is called Muktzeh. Many times people don’t move or touch something they think is Muktzeh even though it is allowed, and conversely many people touch or move things that they shouldn’t because of Muktzeh. The laws of Muktzeh are Rabbinic and most Rishonim agree that it is a safeguard against breaking a Biblical Melacha of Shabbos. There is a popular misconception that there are only two categories of objects, those that are Muktzeh and those that aren’t. Also there is the mistaken notion that if something is Muktzeh you may not carry or use it at all. The truth is, that like with many other aspects in Judaism, it is a bit more complicated than that. The laws of Muktzeh group different objects into many different categories, and these categories have distinct rules as to when you are prohibited to carry or use them. Just because something is Muktzeh does not automatically mean that you cannot carry or use it in all circumstances, as we will see shortly. For the sake of simplicity, we will speak only about the categories most relevant to the topic of children’s toys and games. The first category is objects whose PRIMARY usage is something that is prohibited on Shabbos. This category is called Kli She’milachto L’Issur. An example of this would be a hammer whose primary usage is for building — which is not allowed on Shabbos. The second category is objects whose primary

box holding the pieces considered Kli She’milachto L’Issur, in which case I wouldn’t be allowed to clean them up unless I had a use for them or I needed the space that they were taking up?

usage is allowed on Shabbos. This category is called Kli She’milachto L’Heter. Examples of this are a pillow, a chair, a ball, or clothing. Again, the emphasis is what the primary usage is, so even if an object might be used in a prohibited way from time to time, all that matters is the primary usage when we categorize the object. For example, a digital watch would fall under this category even though there are times that one would press the buttons on a watch for the different functions it provides. However, its PRIMARY function is to simply be looked at to tell the time which is allowed on Shabbos. Determining the correct category is the first and most important thing to do when assessing the Muktzeh status of an object, especially when assessing different children’s toys. The reason for this is that many times toys may have more than one function so one must always ask themselves what the PRIMARY function of this toy is. Although anything that has the status of Kli She’milachto L’Issur might be called Muktzeh, these objects are not always forbidden to be carried in every circumstance. The rule is that a Kli She’milachto L’Issur may be carried if you need the area that the object is occupying or you need to use the object for a permitted purpose. For example, if you have a hammer that was left on the table when Shabbos came in, you may move the hammer out of the way want you want to set the table. Or if you want to use the hammer to crack open some nuts that you have, which is a permitted usage, you are allowed to do so on Shabbos.

Not necessarily. If it is a kids puzzle, it would be a Kli She’milachto L’Heter. The reason is that even though an adult cannot play with the puzzle, if a very young child takes out the puzzle himself, he is allowed to play with it. And

since it is specifically for kids, R’ Moshe Feinstein holds that it would therefore be considered a Kli She’milachto L’Heter. A puzzle for adult or older children on the other hand would be a Kli She’milachto L’Issur and muktzeh. Bayis |

Yaakov Grossman

I've Got a Jewish Name

ewish names. What were our ancestors thinking? Take my name, for example. My name is Grossman, which either means that my greatgreat grandfather was severely overweight (“Gross” in Yiddish means large,) or he had some disturbing habits which really grossed people out. And what’s with all the money-oriented names? Goldman, Goldstein, Goldberg. And then we wonder why Jews get a bad name for chasing money. For the less ambitious we have Silverberg, Silverstein, Silverman. But you know what you’ll never find? Bronzman, Bronzberg, Bronzstein. Bronze is just not good enough for us. Talking about bronze — the truth is I never really understood why they even give out a bronze medal at the Olympics. Who wants a large chunk of bronze? Is that athlete really gonna walk around sporting his new bronze

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necklace? If I came home with a piece of bronze jewelry for my wife’s birthday I’d be in serious trouble! I actually tried asking for bronze jewelry at a store once, but the only thing the guy could show me was an Olympic medal pawned by an athlete who wanted something more worthwhile. I just didn’t think I could go home and present my wife with a bronze medal; “here honey, you come in third place in my eyes.” Really, I think we should change the status of the medals to diamond for first place, gold for second and silver for third. I bet a lot of world records would be broken if they started giving out huge diamond necklaces as awards. (At least in the women's competitions.) Either way, back to the names, I just wanna know how the selection process worked. Did you get to choose your own name? I know someone named Yoselovsky, why would he choose that? His decendants are now stuck forever with

that name — what are they supposed to shorten it to “Yosel”? or “Ovsky”? The people at Ellis Island couldn’t even come up with a good substitute. Or maybe it’s bestowed upon you by a special tribune? How did they decide which name to give you? The guy that gave Tuchinsky his name must have been in a pretty bad mood. (Yes, I’m going to get fired for making fun of the Editor-inChief’s name but I couldn’t help myself.) Also what happened if there were many brothers, did they have to have the same last name, or could everyone choose their own? What if they already lived in different places when names were given out and they couldn’t decide collectively? A lot of us could be related and we don’t even know it! I really wish I would have been given the chance to choose my family’s name. I would have come up with the coolest choices, like Yaakov Warrior or Yaakov Gladiator. (Although whoever is named Wolfson — his ancestor did a pretty good job. But maybe not as good as Wolverine.) This is the exact reason my wife insisted on being the one who names our children — because apparently Hercules didn’t sound Jewish enough, and “no baby of hers” would ever be called Torpedo. Although maybe I can try and convince her at least to change our last name… Yours truly, Yaakov Torpedo

e h t On t side h g i Br Chaya Steinman

Lost & Found

n intercity train ride, a scenic, sprawling green park, ice cream cones and sticky faces, and a Ferris wheel ride to top it all off. It was a family outing that checked all the boxes. We had a great time and the pictures to prove it. When the kids were finally in bed, faces no longer sticky and sleeping soundly, it was time to load the pictures from the camera on to the computer. (Yes, I am that old fashioned, I still use an actual camera!) I looked in the stroller basket and console, no camera. I looked in the bag, no camera. I looked in the car, still no camera. The reality that this camera was no longer in our possession began to sink in. “I guess it fell out of the stroller when I folded it on the train,” said my husband somberly. I wish I could say that I went

into gam zu l’tova mode right away, but that wouldn’t be the truth. First, there was the immediate mourning for the adorable photos we had taken that day. Bubby would never know how high that Ferris wheel was, or see the boys on the cool zip-line in the park. That cute pose at the train station when everyone held up their bag of Doritos was gone forever. Next there was the stress of getting a new camera. The money. The research. Finding someone to bring it from America. And, did I mention the money? And what about all of the photo ops I would miss in the interim? What if the baby started doing something new? What precious moments would go un-photographed and un-shared while we waited for a new camera to arrive? With all of this negativity

flooding my mind, I could easily have succumbed to blaming. Why do we always lose or break everything valuable? Couldn’t my husband have been more careful when he folded the stroller? Who put the camera in the stroller anyway, that’s no place for an expensive electronic device! Why wasn’t he more on top of the camera in the first place? Though it wasn’t my knee-jerk reaction, I’m proud to say that I didn’t dwell in pessimism, and somehow made peace with the loss. When I finally responded, I was uncharacteristically calm. “You know, we’ve had that camera for eight years. Can you believe it’s lasted eight years without being broken or lost until now? Let’s call it a win that we were able to hold on to that camera for so long.” The next morning when I opened my bag, the camera was right there in plain sight. In short; I lost the camera, I didn’t majorly freak-out, and I then found it. Could it be that I was rewarded with finding the camera because I passed the test? Was this a lesson in the classic idea that we only control our internal response to an external situation? Though this experience inspired reflection, in all honesty, I’m not sure what the takeaway is. Only the Ultimate Photographer sees the big picture. June 28, 2016 | Page 53

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