Bayis magazine - Issue 8

History of... Wigs | Halacha: Brachos of Doughnuts

Recipes in the

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Chanu kah Deligh ts Issue 8

18 Kisleiv 5777

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December 18, 2016

Tips from Top Sheitel Machers Around the World

The Neis that Started it all

Loving your

Absolutely FREE

Sheitel Teaching 101

Parenting

Sheitel Disaster Finding the Perfect Sheitel

Humor

insky

Table of Contents

34

4 Inspiration

America the Beautiful

The Key to his Heart

Some Underlying Biases Against Inclusion

Wigs

Weigh-in

Brain Fog

42 Serial

49 Real Life Comic

Finding Chava: Chapter 8

6 Parenting

10 Teaching 101

Chanukah Delights In The Kitchen

28 History of...

38 Tips for Healthy Living 40 Eye on Health

46 Halacha

Brachos on Doughnuts

48 Humor To Leash or Not to Leash

Brachos on Doughnuts

50 On the Bright Side

12 How Gali's Couture Wigs Began

Sheitel Disaster

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Tips from Top Sheitel Machers Around the World

Finding the Perfect Sheitel

30

proudly presents a

Editor-in-Chief Rabbi Noach Tuchinsky Managing Editor Rena Tuchinsky Proofreader Estee Tannenbaum Creative Director Brachi Rosenes Contributing Writers Shira Katz, Hadassah Glanz, Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz, Yaakov Grossman, Rabbi Moshe Atlas Dr. David Tuchinsky, Naomi Lerman, Rochie Shapiro Illustrator Yoshi Weiss yoshiweiss1@gmail.com Advertising Manager Adam Tuchinsky advertise@bayismagazine.com Bayis Magazine – www.bayismagazine.com Editor@bayismagazine.com Contactus@bayismagazine.com We Look forward to hearing from you!

To subscribe via email: subscriptions@bayismagazine.com Bayis Magazine. Published by Bayis Magazine LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. Bayis Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of the articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the contents of the books that are referred to or excerpted herein.

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Readers Speak (Issue 4) Dear Rena, We love your recipes already.

Your salsa is a staple in our house now!

Ita W. (Issue 7 Comic) The mom has to be hiding somewhere for this to be even a little realistic. No way kids are leaving her alone if she's sitting right there!

(Issues 5-7) The broken crown, what a great piece. Thank you to Lily

Rosenberg for writing such special words. It made me have some good tears and alot of curiosty. Please write and send more.

Thank you Rena for the most amazing and delicious recipes soups especially are yummy!

Thank you to everyone behind the scenes and to all the writers Behatzlocha.

May the magazine go from strength to strength.

A proud bayis magazine reader.

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Inspiration

S

America the Beautiful

hem and Yafes were two brothers who worked together to right a wrong.

As one they entered their father’s tent to help him in his time of need. Yafes became the forefather of Yavan (Greece), and Shem the forefather of bnei Israel. The similarities between these two nations is akin to brotherhood. These two nations have influenced the world through their kindness, thought and beauty.

Government, science and art – much of what makes up America and Western society – are directly influenced by the Greek nation. Once we add on Monotheism, morality, education and a person’s self-worth – influenced by

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the Jewish nation – we have the complete make-up of our modern society.

However, this was (and is) the danger of the Greek galus: everything makes sense, looks good and feels right. The Greek mindset and values seem to align with Judaism: A government where people are treated equally. A deep desire to question and understand the world.

Seeing beauty in the world.

Everything Judaism holds dear, Greek culture and its outgrowth, Western society, seem to also hold dear. So what is so dangerous about Western society? Let us look at some of the differences between Jewish ideals and Western society in order to better understand its lurking dangers.

Some of the differences can be highlighted by an incident that occurred with Aristotle, one

of the most influential Greek philosophers. After one of his students caught him giving in to his animalistic desires, he explained that when he did this act he was “not Aristotle.”

As Jewish people, we have mitzvos that do not allow us to disavow ourselves from our philosophy at our convenience.

We are Jews, and we have to act like Jews at all times.

Also, another difference is that our “animalistic” desires have a time and place for expression. These desires are not inherently bad; it is how one uses them that determines how they are perceived. We elevate animalistic desires by using them with holiness or for holiness.

We eat to have strength to do kindness and serve Hashem.

We sleep to have energy and patience for our children.

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These acts, when done for the right reasons, are not animalistic!

One of the main differences between Judaism and Greek/Western society is found in that society’s entire premise: “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we will die.”

There is nothing more contrary and evil than this phrase. This phrase means that in this world we need to grab all the pleasure we can get, otherwise it is lost when we die. As Jews we believe that today we work by doing mitzvos, learning Torah and serving Hashem, for tomorrow we will reap the rewards of our labor! Today is not for pleasure; tomorrow is!

Olam Habah, where we will bask in Hashem’s glory, is where the real pleasure is.

Western society is seductive. That is why we have to strengthen ourselves and understand the difference between our values and those found in the Gentile world. Although there is what to be learned from Gentiles and there is righteousness among them, just like there was righteousness in their forefather Yafes, we cannot allow ourselves to wholeheartedly accept their society. May we see the end of this galus b’mehairah u’v’yamainu.

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Parenting

The Key to his Heart

R

abbi Benson, a well-known rabbi with a reputation for doing wonders with kids at risk, was on his way to New York for Shabbos with his family when he got a phone call from a respected local rosh yeshiva. The rosh yeshiva told him about a boy who was really rebellious and needed Rabbi Benson’s intervention.

He asked if Rabbi Benson could please meet with the boy before Shabbos. Rabbi Benson was really running very late and didn’t have much time to prepare for Shabbos. He apologized and told the rosh yeshiva that he just didn’t have the time.

The rosh yeshiva begged and pleaded with him to please, please meet with the boy.

Rabbi Benson felt very badly, but he really didn’t have time.

Desperate, the rosh yeshiva

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asked if he could meet with the boy for just 15 minutes.

Rabbi Benson heard the urgency in the rosh yeshiva’s voice and said, “Okay, Rebbe. I will meet with the boy for 15 minutes. Who is this boy that you are so involved with, by the way?” The rosh yeshiva replied quietly, “It’s my son.”

Sure enough, a few minutes after they arrived at their hosts a young man showed up. He was the real deal, completely off the derech, with all kinds of attire that were completely foreign to the community in which he’d been raised. We’ll call him Sam. Rabbi Benson told his wife that he would be taking the boy to the basement. When the two got settled, the rabbi asked Sam, “What are you passionate about?” to which Sam replied, “The saxophone.”

“Oh, really? Can you get it and play for me?” Rabbi

Benson asked.

Sam lived very close to Rabbi Benson’s hosts, so he ran home and got his saxophone.

When he came back, he asked Rabbi Benson, “What nonJewish songs do you know?”

Rabbi Benson didn’t really know any. But after thinking hard he remembered a song he knew, called “Lean on Me.” So Sam started to play the song, and the two of them sang it together. They sang and sang, loudly, again and again. That’s all they did. For 15 minutes they sang the song together with feeling. When they finished, Sam gave Rabbi Benson a huge bear hug, and he left. Rabbi Benson rushed to get ready for Shabbos.

Right after Shabbos, the phone rang. Sam’s father was on the line. “Rabbi Benson?

Hello. Did you speak to my son about emunah (faith)?

Rabbi Benson replied,

Hadassah Glanz

Q

Is there anything wrong with putting pepper in my child’s mouth if he uses bad language?

A

Putting pepper in a child’s mouth is a risky idea at best and a bad idea at worst. When we want to stop a child’s bad behavior, we need to consider what the consequences of our discipline will be.

What are the possible results of this punishment?

In today’s generation, many children will not accept such discipline. They will see the one administering this type of punishment as an adversary. Even if the child is not currently strong enough to fight back, he will get back at the parent when he is older, whether by not discussing important things with him, out-and-out rebellion, and/or many behaviors in between.

The child might test the parent and seek the negative attention he garners by his bad behavior. He will use bad language again. And again. What will the parent do? Will he punish harder? And harder still? How much more ammunition does he have until he will run out of feasible options?

The child might deliberately use this language when he knows his parents will not find out. He has not learned any lesson and he does not want to even think if it is right or not.

There is the possibility that this particular child is of the type that will accept the pepper-in-the-mouth discipline and learn not to repeat the behavior, and he might even internalize the message. But if that is the case, a gentler consequence probably would have worked as well, so why should it be necessary to rush to such a painful punishment? If a door will open with a key, why blast it open with dynamite?

A parent can have many children of the type described in number 4 and see better behavior as a result of this discipline method. But down the line there might come a child who is not like his siblings, and some or all of the other results mentioned in numbers 1–3 are what can happen with this child.

Such a punishment might seem strong, but in reality it is very, very, weak.

If a parent has to resort to this method, it means he has no confidence that what he wants to teach will be accepted by his child and therefore he must brand it into the child’s conscience by sheer force. Choosing this reaction keeps the parent stuck in a position of weakness.

The most effective thing you can do is to become a strong parent. A strong parent is confident and sure of her stance. She is calm, knowing that her message has no imminent deadline and that there’s no need to react in a panic that the bad behavior must stop immediately and forever right now.

When a parent is strong, a small, firm consequence (possibly administered a few times over the course of a day) is enough to make the message heard.

“No. Why?” “Well, did you speak to him about Hashem?

Loving Hashem?”

Again Rabbi Benson said, “No. I didn’t speak to him at all. Why do you ask?”

The rosh yeshiva said, “What did you do? Sam came home on Erev Shabbos after being with you and he said to me, ‘Abba. I’m ready to come back.

I want to keep Shabbos and be religious.’ What did you do with him?”

Rabbi Benson described what he had done with Sam and explained, “I showed him that I was on his side. That I cared about what he cared about and loved what he loved. That is the big, but simple, secret.

The key to our children’s hearts is being on their side no matter what.”

Hadassah Glanz trained under Rabbi Brezak, a worldrenowned expert in parenting and author of the book "Chinuch in Turbulent Times". Most stories told were heard from Rabbi Brezak.

Want to get your question answered? Send us your parenting question to parenting@bayismagazine.com Bayis |

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Teaching 101

SOME UNDERLYING BIASES AGAINST INCLUSION: ONE EXAMPLE

I

’d like to build upon my last article in BAYIS that discussed inclusionary practices by addressing an issue that few people in our community readily admit, let alone talk about.

Let me begin with a scenario: Sephardim and Ashkenazim“Why don’t they just do it the ‘normal’ way?”

Yossi was invited to Sions’ son’s bar mitzvah. It was Yossi’s first time in a ‘real’ Sephardi minyan.

Yossi thought to himself, “it feels like I’m in another universe.”

“What’s this ‘sing songing’ of psukei d’zmra all about?”

“Wow, look at that Torah in that strange looking box?”

“What are they now doing during laiyning, simultaneously reading Onklelos?!”

“Now see how hagbah is being done, wow.” And just listen to the bar mitzvah’s grandmother yodeling . . . or something?!”

Yossi’s wife, who was sitting

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obviously in the women’s section, was equally bewildered. She whispers to Yossi afterwards, “Why don’t they just do it the ‘normal’ way?”

Such attitudes are common when a person is ignorant of others’ cultural traditions.

Normalcy is often perceived from one’s perspective. Otherness is perceived as different, alien, or uncommon. I am certain if we would interview Yossi and his wife, they would say, “Sure, we heard mention in halachah shuirim in school or elsewhere that Sephardic customs are different, but we never really experienced anything like this.” They might even say, “It’s kind of nice, but . . . ” What is our responsibility as educators to dispel misconceptions, to include more active and concrete learning experiences of other Jewish cultural traditions, and to encourage heightened cultural sensitivity and diversity?

Many Jewish schools do not

expose their students to different Jewish cultural traditions. The school curriculum that excludes by omission, the cultural traditions of others does a disservice to the student, if not the entire Jewish educational community.

Ashkenazim and Sephardim, developing under different circumstances and conditions, gradually established differing customs, traditions, and norms of behavior. Despite these differences in minhagim, reflected too in halacha, they shared a common historical bond.

Despite these bonds, rivalries and discord between both cultural groups were not uncommon as well. Where Sephardim were minorities among Ashkenazi communities, social and educational disparities were common. Disparities, for example, in academic achievement were evident. As differences increased, prejudices too were more common.

Nuances among Sephardi customs became blurred in the

By Rabbi Dr. Yoseif (Jeffrey) Glanz eyes of non-Sephardim. The tendency to cluster non-Ashkenazi traditions under the rubric of Sephardi was commonplace.

Sephardim have felt the pangs of exclusionism. In a study I conducted a few years ago, Sephardic students, within an Ashkenazic school system, related some emotional experiences they felt including, among others, embarrassed by their cultural traditions, e.g., not wanting their Ashkenazi friends to meet their parents or visit their homes especially on holidays, or wishing they too were Ashkenazi.

Despite exclusion of Sephardic customs in the curriculum of many Ashkenazi day schools and yeshivot, Sephardic holiday customs and traditions reflect a rich and deeply spiritual Jewish culture that flourished for many centuries on the Iberian Peninsula in Spain and Portugal. Such customs are not unitary, nor uniform. Sephardic Passover customs and traditions, for instance, can vary from region to region, country to country, and even family

to family.

Students in school should be actively taught about Sephardic Passover dietary rulings that permit kitniyot, as well as special foods that Ashkenazi never saw let alone tasted (including the Huevos Haminados dish). The actual conducting of the seder, too, is educationally instructive (e.g., the “different” order in which the Four Questions might be posed).

The responsibility of the educator, as curricularist, is to create or design an educational environment that facilitates and provides opportunities for students of all Jewish cultural traditions to explore and learn about each others’ customs.

No time or place in the curriculum? The matter depends, I think, on the kind of outcomes, social and intellectual, we want for our students. Do we want our children to respect and remain culturally attuned to other Jewish traditions and cultures? Do we want to create an inclusive curriculum that is appreciative of other Jewish cultures? Do we want to

encourage intercultural understanding and opportunities for learning? Do we want our own children to feel included and appreciated based on who they are and what they believe?

These are some of the fundamental questions schools need to pose in addressing this form of exclusionism.

What do you think? What about Ashkenazim feeling excluded in a Sephardic school?

In my research, parenthetically, I found much less such testimonies, but I admit my study cannot generalize to all situations. What can schools do to be more inclusionary?

Rabbi Dr. Glanz earned his Ed.D. degree in education from Teachers College, Columbia University. He taught for 15 years in elementary and middle school classrooms, served as a school administrator for five years, and has taught at the college/university levels for the past thirty years. Currently, he lives in Eretz Yisroel and serves as the Program Head for Michlalah-Jerusalem College's master’s degree in educational administration. He also teaches online for Yeshiva University’s Azrieli Gradaute School of Jewish Education and Administration. He hopes to stimulate dialogue and welcomes your comments. You can contact him at Teaching@bayismagazine.com For the author's latest book that was just published, see http://www.yourlivewebdemo.com/landingpages/ ENGAGE/index.html

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by Rochie Shapiro

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The Neis that Started it All How Gali's Couture Wigs Began

W

hen you step foot into the showroom of Gali’s Couture Wigs you are met by the warm, personable and graceful Charlene Aminoff. With a beautiful blonde sheitel curled around her face, Charlene stands at the ready to help you find the perfect wig.

How she got to this place, even Charlene herself would not have believed had you told her six years ago. At that time she was a regular stay-at-home mother of a growing family in the Persian community of Great Neck.

Her life changed forever on Tu b’Av, July 26, 2010.

Tu b’Av is the day when we can see and receive the most nissim.

It was on that day that Charlene witnessed and received a neis of such magnitude that it has catapulted her life, her family’s lives, and the lives of countless others into the grateful and loving service of Hashem.

The entire family was down in their summer home in Miami

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Beach. On that day, the Aminoffs, two of their children, and Charlene’s brother decided to go wave running.

Charlene’s husband, Jonathan owned and managed a hedge fund, and the most important hours of the day for him were between three and four o’clock, right before the stock market closed. They headed out in the morning, sure that they would get back in time for Jonathan to be available for trading hour, and left their younger daughter Gali napping by the pool in the housekeeper’s care while Mrs. Aminoff’s mother watched their newborn inside the apartment.

After riding the waves and enjoying themselves, they were ready to head home.

However, Charlene’s brother begged to go out on the water one more time, and because he was not yet an adult, Charlene’s husband had to go with him. When the wave runner broke down far from the shore, and Jonathan and her brother had to wait a long time for help, it was clear that they were going to miss the stock market hour.

Hours earlier, while she and her husband were out wave running, a non-Jewish man Richard realized that today, unlike most days, he actually had time to go swimming. He made his way down to the pool and began doing laps in the deep end. When it was time to get out, he realized he couldn’t use the ladder in the deep end because he had

pulled a tendon in his knee the day before. He had to swim across the pool towards the shallow end and take those gentle stairs.

Months and months before wave runners and pulled tendons in Miami, Charlene had been in the midst of a small battle with her daughter Gali’s doctor, who had been pushing her since the two-year-old was born to have her tonsils removed, as they affected her sleep apnea.

Right before they left for Miami, the ENT begged her to go to surgery, and she pleaded with him to wait until they returned to New York.

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to form a sparkling gift from Hashem?

When the Aminoffs finally returned from their late day out on the water, they decided to stop by the pool. As they approached, instead of the calming silence of a warm, relaxed afternoon, they heard screaming. A man was holding a limp, lifeless little girl in his arms, and someone was screaming to call 911. The scene would be burned in Charlene’s memory forever.

Her immediate thought was to comfort the poor mother of that child. She took another step towards the pool. Her heart began to beat slower. Her eyes slid, almost of their own accord, from the little girl by the pool, who was beginning to look horrifyingly familiar, to the place where her own little girl had been sleeping when they had left.

The housekeeper was still there, but she was sleeping. Her little girl, her tiny Gali, was not.

Gehennom. Utter fear, a hideous tightness in her chest and a stinging behind her heart.

How can I wake up and live tomorrow, she asked herself, if my Gali is gone? Her husband lunged forward and snatched up their daughter. He had twenty years of Hatzalah experience, and he immediately began to preform CPR. Charlene stood, watching, shaking, crying, screaming. Her precious daughter’s eyes were open, staring upwards, unseeing. Her face was blue. Her nails were purple. How can I wake up tomorrow and live?

Her husband continued to perform CPR, and words of Tehillim immediately sprang to her lips. She had always felt a kesher with Tehillim. But which perek to say? Which pasuk would burst open the locked doors of heaven and retrieve her little daughter’s soul? Something bigger needed to happen.

She could feel it. She needed to give a korban.

But what could she give? She kept mitzvos – everything except for covering her hair, and some other laws of tznius. But her hair, her beautiful blond hair, was her identity.

Charlene watched her husband breathe air into her stiff, blue child, and she grabbed a blue pashmina scarf laying nearby. She began wrapping – wrapping and screaming.

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She gathered her hair into the scarf, screaming to Hashem: This is my korban. Take my hair. She kept wrapping, and wrapping, and her tears mixed with her cries to Hashem.

The thought solidified deep and true in her mind that if she lost Gali, no other gashmius would ever matter to her again. She kept wrapping.

In the background, she heard her husband begging Hashem as well. She heard the sounds of his cries as the fabric of the scarf wisped across her forehead. She tucked the last strands of her hair into the scarf, and she met her husband’s eyes. He was screaming.

“I have a pulse!”

What followed was a blur of dancing, crying and smiling. The security camera in the building later confirmed that Gali had been clinically dead for three minutes and ten seconds. Gali’s father had saved her life, as many doctors subsequently told him.

The beaming parents couldn’t stop crying.

Charlene had decided, in those moments by the pool, that she would cover her hair for the rest of her life. Other members of her family, too, decided to take new mitzvos upon themselves in the area of tznius. Top neurologists were flown into Miami from different parts of the country to evaluate Gali. They were floored. There was not one trace of brain damage, no sign of lung damage. She had been dead for three minutes, and she was completely normal.

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“Avigayil is not science,” one of the neurologists told Charlene. “She cannot be explained by clinical science.

She is a miracle.”

The doctors were confused, but Charlene was not. She pointed to her covered hair.

“Do you believe in G-d?” she asked the doctor.

“Before today,” he said. “I wasn’t sure. Now, I know He must be there.”

Gali was released from the hospital, and Mrs. Aminoff and her husband finally had time to talk. She told him that she was firmly committed to covering her hair for the rest of her life, and that she would be completely tznius from now on.

“When I saw you covering your hair with that shawl,” he said, “I knew exactly what you were doing. I knew you were giving a korban, and I knew immediately that I had to give my own. I knew that we could only do this together.”

While she had been wrapping her hair, her husband had been holding their daughter, praying that Hashem would accept all of his twenty years in Hatzalah. He wanted to cash it in. All the late nights, all the emergency calls. All of it for his daughter. And if he could have Gali back, he promised twenty more years in Hatzalah.

When they started to review the story, everything fell into place. Gali never would have been saved if Richard had not torn his tendon and needed to swim over to the shallow end, where Gali

was drowning. Gali never would have been saved if the wave runner hadn’t broken, delaying her parents, who otherwise would have been upstairs during stock market hour, unaware that she was dying and unable to save her.

And finally, the doctor in New York told Charlene later, if she had elected to remove her daughter’s tonsils before going to Miami, Gali never would have survived. Her tonsils saved her life.

Hodu l’Hashem ki tov, ki l’olam chasdo.

Stories like this are once in a lifetime, and Charlene knew it. In New York they held a seudas hodaa for two thousand families, and invited many tzaddikim to join them.

The tzaddikim told them that when a person receives such an obvious, open neis, they should share it to increase mitzvos in the world. They told Charlene to find a way to encourage women to cover their hair. Thus was born Gali’s Couture Wigs, a project (as Charlene calls it) that is dedicated to helping women find ways to cover their hair, to realize and understand the greatness of this mitzva, with good prices and derech eretz.

But this isn’t just a sheitel “company.” It’s not even just a celebration of Gali’s miracle. Because the reward for a mitzva is another mitzva.

It’s so easy to get caught up in gashmius, Charlene says, and Hashem sends wake-up call after wake-up call to get our attention. All she had to do was give Hashem her hair,

and He listened to her prayers.

Charlene works on dedicating herself to gratitude to Hashem, to emuna, and to spreading the story of her neis. Through this event, she has been given the opportunity to speak all over the world for pirsumei nisa and to inspire thousands of women to take on mitzvos. Just as she and her husband took on mitzvos, so too do people all over the world come to new spiritual heights after listening to her story. Every time she speaks, she encourages her listeners to take on a new level in their service of Hashem, and often people will send her emails about their new mitzva. She keeps all of these emails in a folder that she calls her Rough Day folder, and she reads through each one when she needs a pick-me-up. Women in South America have stopped eating treif. Women in Europe have started covering their hair. Gali’s story and Gali’s Couture Wigs have reached every corner of the earth where the Jewish neshama yearns for something higher.

Charlene has spread the story of Gali’s neis far and wide, and most notably by making beautiful sheitels for Gali’s Couture Wigs. Charlene states that this never would have happened without being steered by the tzaddikim to do so.

Through this she is also able to give meaningful tzedakah by providing wigs for people with alopecia, cancer patients, and many others who are in need. The thing she cherishes the most about her project and telling her story is all of the precious mitzvos she is able to encourage.

People have often asked her if she could go back in time, would she stop the same incident from happening? And she responds: No. She wouldn’t change a thing. Too much light has come from her darkness.

As we approach Chanukah, it is time to bring our own light out of this darkness. Hashem makes miracles every day, if we are only able to open our eyes to see them. Charlene emphasizes that Hashem doesn’t want you to stress, He only wants you to stretch. She stretches herself far and wide and is able to bring endless light into this world. Every day we are given the opportunity to stretch ourselves a little further and bring a little more of Hashem’s charity into this world. This Chanukah, challenge yourself to one extra mitzva, one extra neir in the darkness.

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Miriam Melbo Smith urne, A ustrali a

FAVORITE TIP If you have a long wig curled, then keep it on a short head on a bench or table, without letting the hair hang over. This will prevent the curls from dropping!

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Right now I’m loving using Redkens Thermal Protecting Spray. It smells amazing and doesn’t leave any sort of film on the hair, all the while protecting your wig from the elements of heat styling.

FAVORITE WIG STORY I once had a customer come in to purchase her very first wig. While she was trying on the various styles I had in stock she mentioned that she loved the wig that I was wearing. In fact, she loved it so much that she purchased it right off my head! Three years later and she still totally rocks it and it makes me so happy to see her enjoy it! @sheitelsbymiriam Elegant wigs australia by miriam smith

Michaela A Manchest benson er, UK FAVORITE WIG TIP Make sure you know what you are buying. The trend is to ask for European hair, but think how many countries are in Europe! That’s a lot of heads and not all will have beautiful hair. You want to make sure your wig is made with 100% unprocessed remy hair from a good source. The rest is down to the feel, make sure the hair is soft and always ask to see how it dries naturally. That is what

it will look like in between washes, once the style starts to drop.

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT Argan Serum FAVORITE WIG STORY After years of one of my clients only buying off-theshelf wigs and taking them to have styled and adjusted (which cost extra), she came to me for a custom wig. I made it to her specifications from scratch and

she didn’t take it away until it was perfect. Any alterations needed were all included in the price.

She couldn’t believe how much easier the process was when the wig was made custom to what she wanted.

077-932-75805 www.macustom.co.uk @ma_bespoke M.A Bespoke Wigs

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Michal W i Ramat Es nderbaum (Neé So hkol, Israe riano) l FAVORITE WIG TIP Once your wig is washed and set, make sure to keep it away from an open window. Best to keep it inside a cupboard. An open window makes the set drop.

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT Kérastase Deep Conditioner FAVORITE WIG STORY A kallah with no money came with a third-hand, hairless, colourless and lifeless wig she got. I added hair, dye and styled it and the wig looked like new!

The happiness of the kallah was worth it all! I even styled the wig on her for her wedding!

052-896-4848 Whatsapp on English number (+44) 7825427828 @michalsoriano

Maital Ho Chicago llander FAVORITE WIG TIP Many people treat their wig as if it were their own hair. My tip: don’t. Your wig doesn’t have the nutrients and oils that your hair does.

Therefore, try to minimize the heat applied to your wig. Instead of blow drying and then curling the wig, I suggest air drying it, and then curling it. Besides for the fact that less heat is applied (and therefore less damage caused to the hair), the curl holds a lot longer. The longer it holds, the less you need to get it done.

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT I would have to say that my favorite hair product is Moroccan oil. Mainly because I love the smell, but also because it creates a silky look and feel for the hair. All you need is a little dab and it can completely transform the wig.

347-326- 1617 @Maital_hollander

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Miriam Pe Los Ange sso les

FAVORITE WIG TIP Putting a sheitel over wet hair can potentially stretch out the cap. Towel dry or rough dry hair to avoid this!

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT Matrix Biolage Raw shampoo and conditioner in NOURISH. Great for all hair types! For amazing results, shampoo, condition, then smooth a dime size amount of conditioner through damp hair. Locks will look well hydrated, silky and with no residue when dry!

FAVORITE WIG STORY A new client expressed her frustration that after 20+ years, she’s never felt like herself in her sheitels. After a few suggestions, I got to work. When she later came back to pick up her sheitel, she became so emotional because she finally felt like herself after all those years! It made my day and reminded me why I love what I do!

oom srael l I , B h a s v e o m T t She i e B t a Ram FAVORITE WIG TIP Do you want a pony wig, but you have too many wigs or it’s not the best time to buy another wig? Have no fear, almost any wig can be turned into a pony wig by simply adding a few clips by the nape of the cap of your wig. If your wig is thicker, then add an extra one or two clips to the front part of the cap for added support.

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT Moroccan argon oil. Place a bit on your finger tips to add a silky shine, smells sweet, and is definitely my number one go-to for a tangly wig.

323-351-5989 @Miriam_Pesso_Hair hairandwigsbymiriam

FAVORITE WIG STORY As a Kallah, I had a horrible experience with finding the right wig. I felt pressured into buying a wig which I was not pleased with and did not enjoy wearing. From my unfortunately negative experiences, I decided that something had to change. I became determined to help women fulfill the beautiful mitzvah of covering their hair without the pressure of someone trying to make a sale. From just a wash and set, to bigger things like purchasing a wig, my clients always walk out with a smile on their face and a gorgeous wig they are thrilled with.

058-535-8338

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Back J a r f i h S d, N o o w e Lak

to your brush and brush through. This will help prevent bad clumping.

FAVORITE WIG TIP When buying a wig I say to all my customers, especially the kallahs, that the main thing they are looking for is the texture, color of the hair and fit of the cap and trust your hairdresser to cut and style it to flatter your specific bone structure and gorgeous face!

Even if the wig isn’t full enough for you it can be rectified by adding more wefts (many companies include it in the wig price). It’s like buying material for a dress, there’s no way to envision the finished product! You just need to go to someone whose cut you trust!

FAVORITE WIG STORY We always want to make sure our customers have the perfect wig exactly when they need it! Due to special circumstances one of our customers needed a brand new wig that was specifically curly and in a small size for the very next morning.

We called the company, explained the situation and had a selection of wigs shipped to us asap that fit the specifications. That night she came back at 11 pm and left with the perfect wig on her head.

FAVORITE WIG PRODUCT Add Paul Mitchell super skinny serum

732-770-5327 @Shifrabackwigsand_hair

enberg s i E i h s o h S d, FL o o w y l l o H FAVORITE WIG TIP To accomplish long lasting volume I like to hang my wigs upside down. Always does the trick!

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT A go-to that goes a long way is a drop of Biosilk. It makes your wig feel amazing, smooth and velvety.

FAVORITE STORY The best part of being in this industry is making people feel beautiful. When a lady walks in and sits in my chair and we bring her image to life, it’s the best feeling watching her smile glow!

248-205-6885 @shoshieisenberg

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FAVORITE WIG TIP: Do you want to revive an old wig? Cut an inch or two off the length and cut full bangs!

This will make your wig look as good as new and you will surely love it!

To avoid winter knotting, go with a trendy lob haircut

Chanie Sc h Clifton, N ik J

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT: “It’s a 10” - Miracle Leave-in Product. Give a spray or two to wet or dry hair and it will

lon Rifka's Sa gland n London, E

FAVORITE WIG TIP To give you the “hair off your face look,” whilst not showing any hair and maintaining a fabulously natural look, keep a large Velcro roller handy. Take hair from either side of the part, pull it forward, place the roller at the ends and roll back.

When you take it out hair will evenly fall around the face. Don’t forget to tease out any babyhairs!

Or have them added! Can be done to any wig and makes the world of a difference to give a soft natural look, and support the hair from falling into your face.

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Olaplex! It can be used alongside dyes, bleaches and any other chemical treatments or as a stand alone treatment. It brings any wig back to life, strengthening and rebuilding the hair from within.

As a colour technician and a salon that is sent wigs from across the

instantly add shine, detangle, control frizz, and protect color. It also prevents split-ends, stops hair breakage, create silkiness, enhances natural body, and provides thermal protection.

718-213-6698 @chanieschik ChanieSchik

world to colour, as well as reviving wigs with colour, Olaplex is an essential part of the colouring process.

FAVORITE WIG STORY I just love making people happy and feel good. Doing a bridal party and being involved in the excitement, seeing a woman feel special finding a wig in the Gemach we run, saving peoples wigs after bad dye jobs, reinventing people’s looks with a whole new look, traveling to places where they struggle to find sheitel machers, and helping women and children with hair loss. Every day I have a story to tell, a story of gorgeous wigs and happy customers with renewed confidence.

02082091267 07905278964 Rifka’s Salon @rifkassalon

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Shani Lev y Flushing, NY FAVORITE WIG TIP Never pack your wig in checked luggage, always put it in your carry-on bag. To maintain your curls while traveling, turn the wig inside out and pack in a shoe box (if not using a sheitel box), If traveling with a straight wig, lay it down on its back and stuff the cap with tissue paper and place in shoe box.

Never pack a wig in plastic as it will cause static.

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Believe it or not, Johnson's No More Tangles, is one of my most used products. I have plenty of expensive salon products I use, however the No More Tangles is still what I reach for the most.

It helps brush through knotting, combats static, and can relax curls

en Leah Loks ights, NY Crown He

for a softer look. It does the most without leaving any residue or weighing down the hair.

FAVORITE WIG STORY I have a customer who once found something white in her wig, assuming it was bird droppings she tried to wash it out, it only got worse and became more entangled in the hair. At this point her children informed her that they could not find their pet lizard. Upon hearing this she realized that the lizard had shed its skin in her wig while it was lost in the house. Needless to say it was in desperate need of a fresh wash and set.

718-544-2325 @hairplayny hairplayny.com

FAVORITE WIG TIP Hold the head vertically up and push hair down at the roots with a comb to get the wig off your face and bring out the baby hairs. By holding the hair straight up, and just pushing down by the scalp with a comb or brush, it really brings out the existing babyhairs.

This can also be done by holding the hair back and rubbing the hair forward. I also like to rub the part with my fingertips to make it more natural as well.

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Bumble and Bumble Dryspun

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Finishing Spray, brings out texture and volume like nothing else.

FAVORITE STORY Not my favorite story, but somewhat tragic. Someone brought me a new wig which she had washed and set by a sheitel macher, but the hired assistant had burned a hole all over the scalp. People spend so much on a wig, yet trust anyone with it. www.Salonleah.com @salonleah salonleah

ser s e B e l l Danie Island, NY Staten FAVORITE WIG TIP Don’t feel like your wig has to be perfect with every hair in its place.

When it's too perfect, it screams wig. Have fun with it! Wear more of a crooked part, run your fingers through it, shake your head up and down and from side to side. Don’t be afraid you’ll mess it up because you won’t! It gives the wig a natural airyness and makes it look much more natural! It gives the wig life!

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum

FAVORITE WIG STORY When my daughter Adira was younger she would always watch me work and wanted to do the wigs herself. Obviously not able to let her help me, I made her her own styling station with a play wig and whenever I would go work she would too! Now that she's a little older and able to do more I let her help me with washing the wigs and putting them out to air dry, she loves it!

718-541-3457 Deevine Wigs, Hair and Makeup Design @deevinewigshairmakeup

owitz k h s r e H i Mim Y Monsey, N FAVORITE WIG TIP The older you get the lighter color wig you should get. Also, if you have a round face make full bangs, oval face long layers.

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT My favorite product is when I can add some cool highlights to a wig. This makes the wig pop.

Also my thinning scissors are very important. A wig always needs to be thinned in order for it to lay nicely and have a natural flow.

FAVORITE STORY We had a customer that kept

complaining that the wig was bothering her. The hair was always falling in her face.

When she came in we realized she had been wearing her wig backwards for a week! I never know what the day will bring, but most of all I love each and every customer. I love helping beautiful brides to be confident in how beautiful they look when their hair is covered.

917-673-2109 Facebook: Mimi’s looks @mimis_looks

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Yardena G Toronto, C al anada FAVORITE WIG TIP I know this may seem like an obvious one but unfortunately it’s not!

Make sure that when you are going to get your bangs cut, you have your wig placed properly and securely on your head! I’ve had quite a few people coming to me with horror stories about how their wig is now unwearable because their hairdresser/sheitel macher didn’t check and double check to make sure that the wig was sitting in exactly the right spot when cutting bangs. You don’t want to end up with a fringe cut way above your eyebrows or all the way until one of your ears!

FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCT Bumble and Bumble Hairspray. I love it because it helps maintain a firm hold without the sticky residue that you find with other hairsprays.

FAVORITE WIG STORY A woman once called me in a panic, telling me that so much hair had fallen out of her new wig that she can even see balding above each weft.

She said it looked scary. Confused, I told her to bring it by right away. She called me back a few minutes later in laughter. She had put on her wig upside down. @yardena.thewigbar @consignbythewigbar Yardena Gal 647 606 7321

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1 3 4

History of...

WIGS

In ancient Egypt and Rome it was fashionable to wear a wig. After the downfall of the Roman Empire, wigs did not come back into style until the 16th century. Wigs were great for hiding hair loss and protecting the head from lice. People would shave their heads and replace their hair with lice-free wigs.

“Periwigs” is the name of the long wigs that became the popular style for men, and were used by officials of the English court. To this day barristers, judges and some government officials in England and many of its commonwealth nations wear wigs in court.

Wig makers were skilled and valued craftsmen in the 17th century. Wigs were long, and were made to look as real as possible. They were also quite heavy and uncomfortable to wear. Human hair was used for the most expensive wigs, but horse and goat hair were used to create more affordable wig fashions.

6

When manufacturing a wig it is important that all strands of hair are aligned in one direction. If hair is not in the same direction it will become tangled. Expensive wigs take the “turning” process seriously. Cheaper wigs will cut corners and process the hair with a strong base solution. This damages the hair, but allows the hair to be placed in any direction. To fix the damage the hair is dyed and placed in a synthetic resin finish. Remy hair is considered the highest quality wig hair, since the cuticles are left on the strands. The hair is kept in the same direction and organized according to the length of the strand.

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Queen Elizabeth I of England sported a trendy red wig in the 16th century.

Elizabeth, who is famous for her patronage of the arts, quickly set the fashion for English women, while in France King Louis XIII introduced the wig for men as he tried to cover up his baldness.

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In the 18th century powdered wigs became popular among men, much as powdered hair was popular among women. Many of America’s founding fathers wore powdered hair pieces. George Washington, on the other hand, never wore a wig, and the long white hair seen in paintings of him was his actual hair. Instead of wearing a wig he preferred to powder, curl and tie his own hair. The trend died out when England decided to tax hair powder at the end of the century.

Modern-day non-synthetic wigs are made from human hair. There are four typical sources of human hair: China, India, Indonesia, and Europe.

Most wig hair is Chinese or Indian. European is the most expensive and usually comes from Russia.

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Finding the Perfect Sheitel

By Naomi Lerman

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I hesitantly followed my rebbetzin up the stairs to the sheitel macher’s shop, while my mother followed close behind.

While growing up, I never knew that religious women covered their hair, so when I became religious I wanted to understand why the halacha regarding hair covering exists. I started my journey to Orthodox Judaism at a Chabad shul, and I felt a strong connection to the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Even though I didn’t consider myself to be Chabad, after getting engaged and learning about the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s views regarding hair covering my chosson and I decided I would predominantly wear a sheitel (wig). Having little understanding of what buying a sheitel entailed, I turned to my rebbetzin, who helped me book an appointment with a sheitel macher (wig seller). To my great surprise, when I mentioned the appointment to my mother, she offered to come along.

If you knew my mother you would understand the enormity of her offer. It was hard for my mother when I became frum, and the fact that I would cover my hair took it to a whole new level. The thought of my mother, an ardent secularist, joining me for my first sheitel appointment was intriguing.

I threw caution to the wind and took her up on the offer.

When we entered the shop I sat down hesitantly. I was perched on the edge of the chair, not confident enough to fully sit back and relax. I wanted to find a sheitel that matched my naturally curly hair, and I was looking for something chin-length.

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The sheitel macher pulled out several sheitels, including a straight one, just to see how I felt in it. When I looked in the mirror wearing it, I laughed!

It was definitely not what I was looking for.

I came back a few weeks after the initial appointment.

As I entered the shop, I was surprised to see the assistant using a curling iron on my new naturally curly sheitel.

I had rarely used a curling iron on my own hair, and on the rare occasion that I had, it had been for a fancy event where I was looking to achieve a certain look. I was perplexed why a naturally curly sheitel would need to be set with a curling iron.

I don’t know if it’s normal to buy a sheitel without seeing the actual product, but that’s how it happened for me.

After I tried a few samples on, the sheitel macher told me she would order a sheitel that would be approximately chin-length and curly, which sounded in the realm of what I was looking for. In hindsight, I basically had no idea what I was getting.

When I put the sheitel on, it wasn’t as curly as I had expected it would be. I assumed this was due to the curling iron, which I chalked

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I was surprised to see the assistant using a curling iron on my new naturally curly sheitel.

up to the sheitel macher wanting to make it look fancier for the first time I put it on.

To my horror, when I got the sheitel washed and set for the first time by a different sheitel macher, she told me that the hair was not curly at all and that it was clearly a straight sheitel that had been curled by an iron. She tried to console me by saying it had a slight wave, but I knew that she was just trying to ease my shock.

I suppose I was naive. With the amount that was spent on the sheitel, I should have done more research or spent more time asking around. In the secular world, I would never have spent that much money on anything and asked as few questions as I did.

After being married a few

months, and after spending way too much time in front of the mirror willing my sheitel to be curly, I came across an interview with a local sheitel macher. Accompanying the feature were pictures of sheitels, and among them was a curly sheitel! I hesitantly sat down to write an email to the sheitel macher.

To my surprise, she got back to me quite quickly. We organized a time for me to stop by her shop.

When the day of the appointment came, I drove to the shop with anxious thoughts running through my head. She showed me around the shop and there it was – the curly sheitel from the picture! As soon as I put it on my head and looked at myself in the mirror, I knew it was the sheitel I had been looking for. This was the first time since I had started wearing a sheitel that I felt like the person looking back at me was really me. Hair can really change the way a person looks. It’s not that I didn’t like the other sheitel – honestly, it was very nice, it just wasn’t me.

After peppering the sheitel macher with questions, I decided to take some time to think about it. She told me

she would hold it for me. When I came back a few days later, although I had already made up my mind to buy it, I tried it on again just to make sure it was how I remembered it. I turned to the sheitel macher and quietly said, “I’ll take it.” I recall feeling a slight sense of dread at making this decision. I couldn’t help feeling that this might be another expensive mistake.

More than four years later, I still get compliments on my sheitel. People are always in awe of how much it suits me, and that I wash it myself.

I’m not going to lie and say the whole first experience was worth it. The first sheitel was very expensive; my mother still mentions it once in a while, but now enough time has passed that we can laugh about it. She even once told me jokingly, with a glint in her eye, that it was sad how unwanted Wilda must have felt (yes, she nicknamed the first one Wilda, but that story is for another time).

I believe that purchasing a first sheitel is hard for everyone. I think even women who are frum from birth and have grown up around sheitels find the purchase of a first sheitel a life-changing experience in one way or another. It represents the next stage of life in a tangible way.

Each day is a journey, and as a ba’alas teshuva I often walk a fine line between the world I grew up in and the life I choose to live. There is so much tied up in how and why I cover my hair. I now cherish the fact that my husband and I are the only ones who see it. Here I am today to tell the tale and to proudly wear my sheitel – the second sheitel – on my journey of life.

SuperiorByWigs Tova

Ramat Beit Shemesh Gimmel Ramat Beit Shemesh 058-535-8338 058-535-8338

Toronto

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@yardena.thewigbar @consignbythewigbar 647-606-7321

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in the

Recipes and Photos By Rena Tuchinsky

Kitchen Chanukah Delights Who’s excited for Chanukah? Me! I’ve been waiting to share these great recipes with you and I hope you get to make them to enjoy over the chag. These recipes are not your typical ones. Mini funnel cakes with awesome toppings, crispy cheese-stuffed eggplant bites and latkes made healthy! There are definitely enough nights of Chanukah to try them all so go ahead and enjoy!

CRISPY OVEN-BAKED POTATO LATKES

latke, except you barely use any oil. If you are looking for a healthier alternative with the same taste as a fried latke, look no further.

Yields 24 latkes

When I first made these I knew I hit the jackpot. Putting the latke batter in a cupcake pan results in perfect latkes every time! For some reason though, you need to use an aluminum cupcake pan.

That is the trick. (If you try it in a regular cupcake pan and they come out great, let me know!)

Besides for it being healthier, I love that there is no need to stand over a pan of oil frying each one! These have the crispy exterior of a fried

5 potatoes 1 onion 1 teaspoon olive oil 1 large egg Âź teaspoon black pepper 1 Âź teaspoons salt Olive oil spray or any non stick cooking spray 1. Preheat oven to 375F. 2. Grate the potatoes and onion.

3. Mix in the olive oil, egg, salt and pepper.

3. S pray your cupcake baking

pan well with cooking spray.

Use a heaping tablespoon to distribute the mixture. Do not use all the liquid in the bowl, just a little, otherwise squeeze out most of it. Do not fill the cupcake pan too high. You want them to be flatter just like regular latkes.

4. After they are all in, press them down a bit then spray the tops with cooking spray.

5. B ake for about 30-40 minutes until the tops are browned a little. Time needed may vary.

6. A llow to cool and use a spoon to go around the edges and under the latkes to lift out of the pan.

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MINI FUNNEL CAKES THREE WAYS (MADE IN A BAG) Funnel cakes are crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. They are usually eaten with a dusting of powdered sugar, but why not make them even more delicious!

Here I’ve made mini funnel cakes, that way you can try all the versions you’d like. The jelly version is a deconstructed jelly doughnut, which had some doubters at first, but then were proven wrong at the first bite.

The s'mores version is beyond decadent. Who doesn’t like marshmallows and chocolate!? And the cinnamon bun version with the cream cheese glaze is out of this world. One more reason to try this recipe - the batter is all mixed in a bag! Simply cut the end and drizzle into the hot oil. That means one less dish to clean! Try them all and thank me later!

Powdered sugar (See cinnamon bun for variation) 1. Heat oil in a large pot.

2. M ix together all ingredients in a bag, then cut off the corner using a scissor.

3. Drizzle the batter into the hot oil. Make swirls, overlapping each other.

4. Once golden on one side, flip

to the other. Remove and place onto paper towels to soak up excess oil.

BASIC BATTER: 3 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 ¼ cups milk 1/3 cup powdered sugar 1 tablespoon baking powder ¼ teaspoon salt 2 cups flour Oil, for frying

FOR THE S’MORES FUNNEL CAKES 1. Use the basic batter and make mini funnel cakes.

2. Smear the marshmallow fluff over the hot funnel cake.

3. P lace a few squares of milk chocolate in a bag and place in hot water. Once melted, cut a hole in the corner and drizzle over the marshmallow fluff.

4. S prinkle crushed graham crackers over the top.

TOPPINGS: Marshmallow fluff Milk chocolate Graham crackers, crushed Strawberry jelly

FOR THE JELLY FUNNEL CAKES 1. Use the basic batter and make mini funnel cakes.

2. P lace jelly into a bag and cut off the end.

3. S wirl in a circle onto the hot funnel cake and dust with powdered sugar.

FOR THE CINNAMON BUN FUNNEL CAKES 1. R emove 1 cup of the basic batter into another bag and mix with 1 ½ tablespoons cinnamon and 1 tablespoon brown sugar.

2. S wirl and drizzle the basic batter in hot oil then swirl the cinnamon batter over the basic batter in a circle.

3. Once golden, flip and allow

the other side to fry.

4. R emove onto paper towels and drizzle glaze over the top.

CREAM CHEESE GLAZE ¼ cup cream cheese ½-1 cup powdered sugar 1. Mix till smooth. Add in more powdered sugar till you get the consistency you like.

NOTE: You can make the funnel cakes in advance. Reheat in the oven uncovered and put on toppings before serving.

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CHEESE-STUFFED EGGPLANT BITES Yields 10-15 bites

I love eggplant parmesan, but I don’t understand why you would bread and fry each eggplant slice if it ends up getting soggy from the sauce and cheese. This recipe solves that problem. They have the best crispy exterior with a surprise cheesy center. Everything you love about eggplant parm, in bite size! Serve with marinara to dip and you are set.

1 large eggplant 1 egg 1 ½ cup breadcrumbs ½ teaspoon onion powder

½ teaspoon garlic powder ½ teaspoon dried oregano ½ teaspoon dried basil Pinch of black pepper 1 teaspoon salt Mozzarella cheese, cut into small cubes Oil, for frying 1. P lace the whole eggplant on a microwave safe plate and poke holes around it using a fork.

Microwave 7-10 minutes or until soft. Allow to cool.

2. In a small bowl, mix the bread crumbs with all the spices.

3. C hop up the eggplant into small pieces. Mix in one egg and 1 cup of the spiced breadcrumbs.

4. T ake about two tablespoons worth of the eggplant mixture and create an imprint in the center using your thumb.

Place one cube of cheese inside and pinch the eggplant mixture over it. Roll it in your palms to create a circular shape and be sure no cheese is poking out.

5. R oll into the remaining breadcrumbs and set aside.

Continue with the rest of the eggplant mixture.

6. H eat a large pot of oil and fry the eggplant bites until crispy and golden, about 5 minutes.

Remove onto a paper towel lined plate.

7. Serve with marinara sauce.

*These can be easily reheated in the oven.

Bake uncovered till crispy.

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Tips for

Healthy Living

Weigh-In If you’re trying to lose weight you may find yourself constantly running to the scale to confirm you have made progress. Don’t do it. Your weight will fluctuate every day. Instead just pick one day a week for a weigh-in and stick to it. Here are three tips to follow to get the most accurate weight each time.

1 NOT AFTER SHABBOS Do not, I repeat, do not weigh yourself the day after Shabbos.

Though you probably didn’t gain any significant weight, the scale may show you a number you won’t be happy to see due to excess water weight. Instead give it a day or so of sticking to your healthy eating plan and be happier on weigh-in day!

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IN THE MORNING Weigh yourself in the morning, before you have eaten anything. You are likely to see a lower number from fasting all those night hours thus leading you to be more motivated to stick with it.

DON’T DO IT Many people choose to get rid of the scale altogether.

The scale may show a higher number, but it doesn’t tell you how many inches you’ve lost.

Clothing does! Over time your clothing will get looser and you’ll know you’re doing great.

Good Luck!

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Eye on Health

Got brain fog?

Here are five possible reasons why:

by Dr. David Tuchinsky

Do you suffer from brain fog?

That muggy feeling your brain is operating in a puddle of mud and life is moving in slow motion. People think brain fog is funny or normal, but it’s not. It’s a red flag your brain is inflamed, functioning poorly, and likely degenerating too quickly.

What causes brain fog and why should you care? Consider these reasons: 1. Brain cells not communicating well with each other Brain fog happens when brain cells, or neurons, don’t communicate well with each other. This causes brain function to slow down and diminish, giving you symptoms of brain fog.

Many factors cause neurons to fire sluggishly or not at all with each other, which I’ll talk more about in this article.

2. Unstable blood sugar Blood sugar that is too low or too high means neurons are not receiving the energy they need to function, which often causes brain fog. Unstable blood sugar is commonly caused by eating too many processed carbohydrates and sugary items, skipping meals, or chronic overeating.

Quite often relieving symptoms of brain fog can be as easy

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as stabilizing your blood sugar.

Eat a whole foods diet based around vegetables, proteins, and healthy fats. Avoid sweets and processed foods, and keep carbohydrate consumption to a level that prevents symptoms of low or high blood sugar.

3. An unhealthy gut environment Bad gut health affects the brain and can cause symptoms of brain fog. For instance, some people develop brain fog after eating certain foods, such as gluten, that trigger inflammation in the gut. If you have digestive problems, your gut may be playing a role in your brain fog.

Leaky gut is a condition in which the lining of the intestine becomes overly porous, allows undigested food particles, yeast, bacteria, and other harmful compounds to enter the bloodstream. This triggers chronic inflammation in the gut, body, and brain, along with other health problems, such as food intolerances, pain, autoimmune disorders, skin issues, joint problems, depression, and, of course, brain fog.

4. Poor circulation and brain fog Are your fingers, toes, and nose

cold to the touch? This may mean your brain is not receiving enough oxygen due to poor circulation. Other symptoms of poor circulation include weak nails, fungal nail infections, low brain endurance, and cramping in the hands and feet. Low circulation deprives the brain of oxygen and nutrients, thus causing brain fog. Factors that cause low circulation include anemia, chronic stress, hypothyroidism, low blood pressure, smoking, and blood sugar imbalances.

5. Autoimmune disease and brain fog Autoimmunity is a disorder in which the immune system attacks and destroys body tissue. Chronic inflammation goes on to inflame the brain, which hampers function and can cause brain fog. Brain fog is a common complaint among autoimmune sufferers.

Don’t assume your brain fog is something to shrug off. It’s best to discover the underlying causes of brain fog and address them. This will not only give you better brain function but also help prevent dementia later in life.

Chapter 8 Chava accompanies Shoshana's family to shul. While there a strange women calls out to Chava as though she knows her.

“I

have no idea what’s going on,” Chava said.

She was sitting with Evie on a bench in the Commons after art class the following Tuesday. She kicked her legs out in front of her. “I don’t even have a clue.”

Evie nodded. They had been talking about this ever since Chava had called her from a corner of her bedroom in Shoshana’s house, frantic.

“Maybe Esther Borden is a cousin?” Evie said. But they had already gone over that possibility, already discussed whether she might be a sister, or a cousin, or even a long-lost twin. Their ideas had gotten crazier and more far-fetched the longer they’d talked about it.

Chava sighed and leaned her head back against the brick wall of the restaurant behind her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know.”

“What are you going to do?”

Chava closed her eyes. “I have no idea.”

• • •

finding chava By: Shira Katz

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Rabbi Dr. Yoseif Rabbi (Jeffrey) Daniel Glanz Glanz Chava let herself be dragged by Shoshana’s mother all the way back to their house. She had too many things running through her mind to come up with anything coherent to say until she was standing in the living room while Shoshana’s mother hurried off to the kitchen. Chava stood on the carpet, still shell-shocked, and after a

“Shani Gross doesn’t always know what’s going on. I wouldn’t mind her.” moment she rocketed after Shoshana’s mother.

“Who was that?” she said.

“Who was she? How did she know me? Did she know me?

Who is Esther Borden?”

Shoshana’s mother stood at the sink, washing dishes.

“That was Shani Gross,” she said.

Chava stood, all of her nerves on end, waiting for her to keep talking.

When she had washed and dried three dishes without saying another word, Chava nearly shouted: “And what else?”

“Shani Gross doesn’t

always know what’s going on. I wouldn’t mind her.”

“You wouldn’t mind a woman who came up to you and asked if you were someone else? Someone else with your name?” Chava could feel her cheeks getting red.

“But she doesn’t have your name.” Shoshana’s mother put down another dish and looked Chava square in the eyes. “She doesn’t have your name, does she?”

Chava blinked rapidly. “She said Borden!”

“Your name is not Esther.

Do you believe that you are the only person in the country with the name Borden?”

“That’s not—I don’t—that’s not the point!”

“Isn’t it? I don’t know what you’re so upset about, Chava.”

“I want the truth,” Chava said. “Why am I here? Why am I following these rules I don’t believe in with a bunch of crazy people I’ve never met in a house two hours away from my family? I want the truth!”

Shoshana’s mother turned to face her, and Chava realized what she had said.

“I’m sorry—” she began.

Shoshana’s mother dried her hands on a kitchen towel and then folded it back up over a hook. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sure you’re very stressed. But you won’t find any answers here.”

She began to climb the stairs, and Chava grabbed on to her sleeve. “Why do I

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feel like you know more than you’re telling me?”

Shoshana’s mother rested her hand on the banister and looked briefly at Chava.

“You won’t find any answers here,” she said.

• • • “It’s like everyone in my life knows something that they aren’t telling me,” Chava said.

“You’re right,” Evie said. She kicked a rock across the sidewalk, and they both watched it skip toward a tree. “You’re actually a science experiment and we’re all secret scientists watching you.”

Chava elbowed her. “It’s more than that,” she said.

“She definitely knew something. And I don’t know why she would hide it from me.

She doesn’t even know me.”

They were both silent for a moment. “I mean,” Chava said, looking toward Evie, “she doesn’t know me, right?”

They stared at each other, and then they both leaned forward at the same time.

“How could she know me?”

Chava asked. “I know I’ve never seen her before.”

“You don’t have pictures from the first three years of

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"I’m sure you’re very stressed. But you won’t find any answers here.” your life,” Evie said. “You have no idea what happened then.”

“So what, you think she may have been in my life before?”

“Anything is possible. When people go so far as to destroy pictures, they’re definitely hiding something big.”

Chava shook her head. “But I’ve been through everything there is to go through. I’ve looked through everything my parents have. I don’t have any living grandparents, and neither of my parents have siblings. What else is there?”

“There are other people, though. Your parents have co-workers. They went to college; they have friends from college.”

“But if I asked any of those people, my parents would know right away.”

Evie sighed. They both watched her draw a circle

in the dust with the toe of her shoe.

“Then there really is only one more person to ask,” Evie said.

“Who?” Evie wiped her hair away from her brow. “You need to go to your basement, get that box of stuff and bring it to Shoshana’s mother.”

“What? Why?” “You said you didn’t know what some of it was. She would know.”

“She made it very clear that she didn’t want to talk to me about it,” Chava said.

“Then you either make her, or you go find that other lady. What did you say her name was?”

“Um—Shari? I think? Shani?

Her last name was Gross.”

“I’ll go with you,” Evie said.

“And someone will have to answer us.”

Chava stood up. “Let’s go,” she said.

They hopped into Chava’s car and turned up the music while they drove. Chava tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, feeling good about this next step. She had left Shoshana’s house as soon as the family had told her she could. She had called Evie directly after

Rabbi Daniel Glanz

the incident with Shoshana’s mother, and then had stayed up in her room until they called her down for the end of the Sabbath. There was an awkward goodbye that did not include the standard “come again” or “we’d be happy to have you again.”

Every time she thought about what a failure the entire day had been, she cringed anew.

Shoshana had called her once on Sunday, but she hadn’t returned the call. She wished she could forget that the visit had ever happened.

Chava pulled into her driveway and both she and Evie jumped out, neither noticing Chava’s mother’s car parked off to the side. Chava swung open the front door, laughing at something Evie had said, and came face to face with her mother, who was red-faced and gripping her cell phone.

“Where have you been?” she asked.

“What? Mom? I’ve just been out with Evie—” “Where have you been this weekend?” she said.

“I was—I was with Evie, I told you that—” “A nd you l ie d ,” her mother said.

Chava swallowed. Evie quietly closed the door behind them.

“Av a w a s w it h me, Mrs. Borden.”

“That’s nice of you to say Evie, but I know she wasn’t.

This is a family matter and I’d be very grateful if you could give us some privacy.” Chava’s mother said all of this without even looking at Evie.

“I’ll just go upstairs to your room,” Evie whispered to Chava.

Chava steeled herself for what was coming.

“After every thing we’ve talked about,” her mother said, “this is what you decide to do.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Chava said.

“You lie to us, you take the car we gave you and stay at some stranger’s house—” “Seems like she’s not a stranger, Mom,” Chava said.

Her mother’s eyes seemed ready to bulge out of her head.

“A n d w h at do you mean by that?”

“How do you know I was there?” Chava asked, taking a step forward. She gestured at her mother’s cell phone. “Did she call you? How did she call you? How did she have

your number?”

“That’s enough, Ava.” “No, Mom, it’s not enough.

None of this is enough. I don’t know what you’re hiding, but I promise I will find it out.”

They stared at each other, both breathing hard. Chava’s mother put her cell phone in her pocket and closed her eyes.

“I am still your mother. And if you ever contact Tzippora Stein again, I will make sure that you do not have a cell phone, or a computer, or a car, for the rest of the summer.

And when the summer is over, I will ship you off to college myself, and I will not leave until you are locked away in your new dorm room.”

Chava was silent. She remained silent even as her mother left, even as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom to find Evie waiting. She sat on her bed, silent, ignoring the questions Evie was asking her.

Her mother had just admitted everything she needed to know.

“We need to go to Shoshana’s house,” Chava said, turning to Evie. “And we need to go now.” to be continued...

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Halacha

Brachos for Doughnuts It’s doughnut season again, and we’re all looking forward to biting in to those sticky oily treats!

This year, our doughnuts are going to taste even better, because we’re going to get the brachos just right. Doughnuts are somewhat unique in that they are made out of a dough which is quite similar to bread but are then deep-fried rather than baked, and this difference is reflected in the halacha. So here goes…

I’m enjoying a doughnut on it’s own or with a cup of coffee.

Which bracha do I make?

Mezonos before, and Al Hamichya afterwards.

I know that I must wash, recite Hamotzi and bentch if I eat a few big slices of cake and feel full. Is it the same with doughnuts?

No. Because doughnuts are deep-fried, they will always be Mezonos before and Al Hamichya afterwards.

If I’m serving doughnuts for dessert during a bread-based meal, do we need to make a Mezonos on them?

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Yes. Doughnuts are not typically part of a meal and are eaten for pleasure rather than nutrition, so they need their own bracha. If it’s possible that somebody (e.g. an older child) will still be a little hungry and will actually fill up on the doughnut, it’s better not to make Mezonos but rather have in mind when you say Hamotzi to cover the doughnuts at the end of the meal as well.

If I snack on a doughnut shortly before my bread-based dinner, should I say Al Hamichya before the meal, or can I rely on the Birkas Hamazon which I will say after the meal to

Rabbi Moshe Atlas

cover the doughnut as well?

Make an Al Hamichya. If you forgot and already said Birkas Hamazon, you are also covered.

And how about if I snack on a doughnut before the meal and plan to have another one during the meal?

You should not say Al Hamichya. Also, your Mezonos made before the meal covers the doughnuts eaten during the meal so you wouldn’t make another Mezonos.

And now that you’ve got the brachos straight, remember to enjoy!

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Yaakov Grossman

To Leash or Not to Leash

L

ittle kids are a lot like puppy dogs.

They jump for excitement when you come through the door; they crawl around the house, like being rubbed on the belly and eat from the floor. (Teenagers, on the other hand, are a lot like hippopotamuses. Basically, they sleep until someone provokes them, and then they attack.)

For this reason, I have been advocating for years that children should be kept on leashes.

Wait! Before you call social services on me, hear me out. If you think about it, we all treat little kids like puppies anyway.

How about the guy who invented the crib? It’s basically a cage for your child. I bet he met a lot of resistance until he won over the world. Can you imagine a world without cribs? Parents would be a lot more upset, and children would be in a lot more danger

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(from their over-tired parents).

Although I really think we could upgrade the crib by making it more like a fish tank. My kid’s pacifier falls out between the bars all the time. Then I have to go searching for it in the middle of the night and can never find it, and then I get down on the floor and in order to try to find it I have to basically sprawl myself out as if I was making a snow angel. (At these moments I always think about Hashem looking down and laughing at this guy sprawled out on the floor in the pitch black.) I never find the wayward pacifier. In the morning it’s always in the corner of the crib. Recently I went out and just bought thirty pacifiers and threw ’em in the crib, and that buys me a couple hours of quiet. And also my snow angel now has less of a chance of coming up emptyhanded. I don’t know why we don’t make large fish tanks for

them. Nothing will fall out that way, and it will also take way longer for them to learn how to climb out.

That’s why I’m an advocate for leashing our children. Harambe the Gorilla would still be alive today if our children were on leashes. The leash doesn’t necessarily have to be around the neck. I’m sure we can work out some sort of body leash. We can make it in stylish colors and different designs; look at how many different types of cribs there are! I don’t own a dog, but I bet most don’t have such sweet cages. (Although I do sometimes see dogs wearing sweaters, and then I do wonder if they sleep in real cribs. Also every time I see those toasty canines I get excited that someone else thought to put their kid on a leash, until I realize it’s only their dog.)

I ask of you just one favor: think about it. The editor of the magazine first refused this article with some sort of argument such as “THIS IS A WOMEN’S MAGAZINE!”, but I convinced him that maybe, just maybe, it will go over well. If you send the magazine more death threats than the mother of the kid who fell into Harambe’s cage got, then I’m probably gonna be fired. But it’s okay. Even if I get fired, I’m working on another income; I just patented the first child leash, coming to a pet store near you.

e f i L l a e R

by Yoshi Weiss

Yoshi Weiss: e-mail- yoshiweiss1@gmail.com

phone- +972-50-417-3957

e h t On t side h g i Br apiro h S e i och By: R

The Sheitel Disaster

F

lyers were posted all over the neighborhood. Everyone got the email invite and an official letter in their mailbox. The big women’s Chanukah get-together was happening on Monday night, and everyone knew about it, that’s for sure. My friends and I were really looking forward to the evening. Finally a night to get out of the house, let the babysitter watch the kids and enjoy time with friends.

My checklist in preparation for my night out was almost complete. Babysitter, check. Greek salad for the buffet, check. A clean outfit (which is hard to come by these days), check! Sheitel, eh, not really. I’m a work-fromhome mommy, and therefore my wig only makes it off of Sophie’s head once in a blue

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moon. Yes, Sophie wears my sheitel more than I do. Sophie, if you haven’t figured out, is my Styrofoam wig stand.

Luckily for me, my neighbor is a sheitel macher, so I ran to her house and dropped it off for her to work her magic on. I was super excited. My friends hadn’t seen me in a sheitel in ages. Even on Shabbos I found myself grabbing a snood or pre-tied scarf, since my wig looked too horrible to put on.

No more excuses now!

I got my sheitel back just a day later and it looked brand-new. When I put it on, I couldn’t believe I had gone so long without wearing it!

I definitely looked more like myself. Hair does that, I guess.

Now I was officially ready for my fun night out.

The event was being held just a block from my house, so I figured I’d walk there. I had

just finished getting ready when the babysitter called to say she was running late.

Twenty minutes later, she knocked on the door. The kids, of course, started grabbing on to me and begging me not to go. I promised them I’d bring back treats, and they released me from their clutches. Works every time! And so I grabbed my purse and the foil-covered salad and said goodbye.

Almost as soon as I stepped out the door I realized how chilly it was. How could I have forgotten a jacket!? But I couldn’t go back. The kids would never let me leave again. No, I would not risk it.

Instead, I just walked faster.

A minute later I heard a very loud sound. Was that really thunder? Oh no. Suddenly it started to pour. When I say pour, I mean it; it was coming down like the mabul. Of course, without a jacket I had nothing to cover myself with!

I could run back home, but I was already halfway there so it just made sense to run toward my destination. Water dripped down my face and swished in my shoes, and of course my sheitel was soaked.

I lifted the salad bowl over my head, thinking that would help. No, it definitely didn’t.

Finally I reached the entrance. I walked inside, and just as I stepped in all the faces in the room turned to me. Everyone was already sitting and listening to the speaker, and there I was mop hair and drenched from head to toe! The first thing I noticed was how almost all the women were wearing snoods. A few wore sheitels, but they were totally dry and looked stunning.

Luckily my friend Shaindy ran right up to me and showed me to the restroom, where I could attempt to put myself back together. She made some joke about the salad being covered and dry, but I didn’t find it funny. After squeezing out the water from my newly styled sheitel and patting my outfit semi-dry, I was somewhat ready to show my face again. By then, the ladies were walking around, talking and eating. I sat down next to my friends, shocked that each of them had shown up without a sheitel.

“Oh, of course not,” said one friend, “today was the day it was supposed to rain cats and dogs. I wasn’t going to risk ruining my sheitel.”

“You didn’t hear the weather report?” another friend chimed in. “Everyone predicted rain today. It’s not even as bad as they said, it already stopped.”

Where in the world had I been!? How had I not heard it was going to rain? How did I not notice that it looked like it was going to rain? (I guess I can blame that one on working from home.)

Well, in the end, my friend lent me a hair band.

I pulled my sheitel into a low pony and laughed it off. No wet sheitel was going to ruin my night out. We all had a great time and I made sure to get a ride home.

Lesson learned. The next time I go out with my sheitel on, I’ll be sure to check the weather. Until then, it can sit on Sophie’s head where it won’t get ruined. .

Shani Levy Flushing, NY

718-544-2325 @hairplayny www.hairplayny.com

MIMI’S LOOKS

Wig Consultant and Stylist

Mimi Hershkowitz Monsey, NY

917-673-2109 Facebook: Mimi’s Looks @mimis_looks

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