BaystateParent March 2022

BaystateParent MASSACHUSETTS’

PREMIER MAGAZINE FOR FAMILIES SINCE 1996

MARCH 2022 | PRICELESS

The doctor will

ZOOM you now

A new normal in children’s healthcare

+

Secrets to connecting with your teen 14 family fun adventures Sugar shacks to sweeten your March

Maternal care that centers on you.

Receive expert care, support and attention from nationally recognized physicians and staff

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2 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

242 Green Street, Gardner, MA 01440

978-630-6228

contents Table of

March 2022

volume 26

number 11

in every issue 5 5 6 7 8

Editor’s note

23

Take Five: Cheryl Beaudoin

Make this iconic, minty green milkshake at home!

Finally Forever Good to Know Herding Goofballs DIY: St. Patrick’s Day Slime

on the agenda 16

March Adventures: 14 things to do this month

19

The List: 7 Sweet Maple Experiences

bites 9

Goose’s Goodies: Copycat Shamrock Shakes

10

Nutrition: Family style meals

features

14

12

BaystateParent MASSACHUSETTS’

FOR FAMILIES SINCE

1996

MARCH 2022 | PRICELESS

How to connect with your teen

Cover Story: The doctor will zoom you now

PREMIER MAGAZINE

The doctor will

ZOOM you now

A new normal in children’s healthcare

+

Secrets to connecting with your teen 14 family fun adventures Sugar shacks to sweeten your March

22

College kids want to talk to their parents about sex

on the cover

From virtual to house calls, new healthcare trends are here to stay.

GETTY IMAGES

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 3

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2020

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editor’s note

Two years ago this month, I was writing a story and found the hum of my offi ce a bit too distracting to concentrate. So, I packed it up early and decided I’d work from home for a few days until the article was

done.

Little did I know that by the time I’d fi led that story, my offi ce in downtown Worcester would be closed.

I don’t think any of us in March 2020 could have imag-

March’s Child: Meet Kenya

ined what the next two years would bring – or what March 2022 would look like. Today, I still work from home, which is both a dream and a downer – depending on the day. My then-toddler is now a pre-

FINALLY

forever

Hi, my name is Kenya and I want to work in the fashion industry!

Kenya is a 16-year-old girl who describes herself as fun, outgoing and caring.

Kenya loves style and fashion, and she would like to work in the fashion industry. Some of her other favorite activities include arts and crafts projects, singing, dancing and playing sports.

In school, Kenya gets along with others and makes friends easily. She is an intelligent young lady who performs at grade level.

Kenya is legally free for adoption and has requested to be placed in a family where one or both parents are African American. Kenya's social worker is willing to explore single or two parent families, with or without other children in

the home. Because Kenya will need a gradual transition into her future home, her social worker is only considering Massachusetts and local families at this time.

If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not; renters or homeowners; LGBTQ+ singles and couples. As an adoptive parent, you won’t have to pay any fees; adoption from foster care is completely free in Massachusetts.

The process to adopt a child from foster care in-

cludes training, interviews, and home visits to determine if adoption is right for you. These steps will help match you with a child or sibling group that your family will fi t well with.

To learn more about adoption from foster care, call the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) at (617) 964-6273 or visit www.mareinc.org.

schooler, and my "pandemic baby" is now a toddler. Somehow, all those things that seemed so foreign and scary a couple years ago – masks, quarantining – are now just a part of life.

There’s no doubt that parents continue to struggle as this pandemic drags on, but we’ve also adapted and adjusted in countless ways. The coronavirus pandemic has changed so much about the way we live, work and raise kids. When it all recedes (it will at some point - right?) more familiar ways of doing things may return, but other adaptations may become a more permanent “new normal.”

On page 12, we explore one of those changes that may just stick around for good: how we – or our kids – see the doctor.

Has the pandemic revived the idea of medical providers treating patients in the comfort of their own homes? From telehealth technology to local providers who are making house calls, it seems so. Sure, there will always be instances that call for a trip to the offi ce, but in many routine cases, virtual or home-based appointments very often do the trick.

What other pandemicfueled changes will be longlasting, perhaps even permanent? That may depend on who you ask. Personally, I

can’t imagine going back to a daily commute with traffi c and parking issues, when I can get my work done from home – as tough as it may be with little ones around.

As we come to the two-year mark in pandemic parenting, it’s easy to bemoan all the ways our lives have changed.

But some of those changes might be worth holding on to – from being able to Zoom your doctor instead of dragging a sick kid out to new hobbies or shorter commutes.

Two years in – and looking ahead – what changes would you like to carry with you into post-pandemic life? I’d love to hear from you, drop me an email at acollinsbernier@gannett.com.

Amanda

MEDICAL ADVICE WHEN YOU ARE ON THE GO. DOWNLOAD OUR FREE SYMPTOM CHECKER APP TODAY! Our Health eCheck app helps you make decisions on what type of medical care is needed when your child falls off their bike or has a persistant cough.

Search from a list of symptoms or by body area.

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 5

GOOD TO

know

The USDA just announced new nutrition standards targeting milk, whole grains and sodium requirements for school meals.

The new standards go into effect for the next school year, and will run at least through the 2023-2024 school year. By issuing transitional standards, the USDA is giving schools time to transition from current, pandemic operations, toward more nutritious meals, they said.

Research shows that many children receive their healthiest meals of the day at school. The USDA previously updated the school nutrition standards in 2012.

The new standards establish the following: h Milk: Schools may offer flavored low-fat, or 1%, milk in addition to nonfat flavored milk and nonfat or low-fat unflavored milk. h Whole Grains: At least 80% of the grains served in school lunch and breakfast each

week must be whole grainrich. h Sodium: Starting in the 2023-2024 school year, lunches must have a 10% lower sodium rate weekly than they do currently.

Stepped on one too many loose LEGO bricks? You can ditch them, without any guilt.

LEGO Replay allows you to donate bricks to kids in need, and it’s as easy as tossing them in a box. Just go to lego.com/replay, print out a shipping label, box up your bricks and bring them to your closest FedEx location. The bricks you send will be sorted and cleaned before being donated to Teach for America or Boys & Girls Clubs of Boston.

The SAT is going digital, shifting to online exams in 2024.

The new SAT will be similar to the current test; it will still be scored on a 1600 scale, feature multiple choice sections, and students will still have to take it in proctored settings, such as a school or testing center. But the digital version will be shorter, running only about two hours, because it relies on adaptive testing. That means the test changes based on the students' answers, with the goal of reducing the time students spend answering questions that are either too easy or too hard.

The reading sections will be shorter and more closely related to material students would likely read in college, according to the College Board.

Students will also be able to use calculators during the entire math section, an expansion from previous versions of the test.

Another plus? When the test goes digital, students will get their test scores back in days as opposed to weeks.

6 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

AMAZON.COM

A new study warns of the danger of high-powered magnets commonly found in kids’ toys and desk sets.

The study, which involved 24 children’s hospitals across the country, looked at 600 cases of high-powered magnet-related injuries from 2017-2020. Researchers found that 56% of children treated for these injuries required hospitalization and nearly one in ten had a potentially life-threatening injury.

These small, shiny magnets are so strong that if more than one is swallowed, they can attract to each other across tissue, cutting off blood supply to the bowel. The magnets were originally recalled by the the Consumer Product Safety Commission in 2012 due to rising numbers of ingestions, but were permitted to return to the market in 2016 as long as they weren’t marketed toward children.

But the study highlights the access young children still have to these products. While the magnets can only be marketed to those 14 years or older under U.S. law, 95% of the children evaluated were under the age of 14. The average patient age in the study was 7, which researchers noted was older than that of most other foreign body ingestions.

“Because damage caused by magnets can be serious, it’s so important to keep these kinds of magnets out of reach of children, and ideally out of the home,” the study’s author said.

HERDING

goofballs

WOOLIE-LEVEL

CHARACTER Josh Farnsworth

The snowboard leaned into the sun and dropped suddenly as if tied to an anvil. The rider approached the wall of snow and ice and leapt – doing a series of fl ips until landing gracefully back on the snowboard.

Again a wall. Again a fl ip.

And once again, the prowess to land with style and continue.

My goofballs and I got into the Winter Olympics recently, especially sports like the aforementioned (or afore-picture-painted?) snowboarding.

My oldest read off and parroted back facts from some of the athletes, including their ages.

And it hit me: my kids are closer in age to these supreme athletes than I am in most cases. When the heck did this happen? Part of me also wondered if I dropped the ball not

doing like some of these Olympic parents and pushing them out on ice skates when they were 20 minutes old.

Oh well. Maybe no Farnsworths to the 2034 Winter Games.

The competition had me thinking that my sons have their eyes wide open to young adults out there doing remarkable athletic things. They hung on every race, every turn and every postgame presser to see what they might say.

It’s great to have youth who not only push themselves to incredible heights, but who also serve as great examples of character for even younger athletes to see and want to emulate. Not all great examples, however, show up on a medal podium. Some, in fact, are right here in our Bay State

backyard.

As someone who used to cover local sports for a weekly newspaper, I had a great front row seat to incredible poise, grit and positivity from a number of high school athletes.

With the calendar reading March, there is one squad that comes directly to mind: the Millbury High School Woolies girls basketball team.

It was like clockwork. Every March, I could count on covering championship-level high school basketball at the DCU Center in Worcester. The Woolies that played on squads starting in the 2007-08 academic season and for the next four years were a part of an unprecedented run that made four straight state title games.

Their hoops game was strong. Behind head coach

Steve Reno, their coaching staff was also incredibly wellcomposed. They worked hard, practiced hard and played some amazing basketball.

Yet, the most remarkable thing about these young women happened each of these March afternoons that had nothing to do with an orange ball. Despite gallant eff orts each time, Millbury would fall just a little short. Four years in a row, in fact. And each postgame, that meant this young, dopey reporter heading to the press room would have questions for these teenagers who just tasted some level of disappointment moments ago.

I would fi nd my spot in the press room, go over the stats and get a touch nervous waiting to ask my dumb questions to these girls – some of whom were in this position for four years in a row.

But in, they would walk.

And the captains of the teams would stand there in a room overrun with reporters from across the state – faces clearly red from fatigue and the emotional toll of a competitor losing a big game – and answer their questions. And mine. For as long as we had questions to ask.

Even the miraculously obvious ones like, “How does it feel?” (I promise I never asked this question directly. I even rehearsed not asking it).

They stood there and answered these questions. They commended the other team celebrating just a few feet away. These Woolie girls went out of their way to speak volumes about their coaches, their teammates and especially their fans and community members who took time on a beautiful Saturday to come stand in a crowded space, elbow-to-elbow, painted in maroon and white.

One talking point they all seemed to bring up: how amazing the journey has been.

I could have quoted any one of

them with some version of …

“This journey is diffi cult, but so worth it.”

Despite the disappointment, these teenagers found character and poise and grace every year enough to turn heartbreak into praising others and refl ecting on the silver linings of a season well-played together. That’s what a young hero does.

As I write this column, I realize that some of these Woolies may be already – or soon will be – parents themselves. If so, know a few things: If you ever doubt your capability to stare down a straining parental challenge, just know that I was there. I was there to see you handle yourself in the throes of disappointment with incredible grace and character.

You can do this. Whatever it is.

Keep your head up, like you did a decade ago, and you will continue to do remarkable things. Know that when I tell my kids and subsequent grandkids (still a ways to go, so pending on if that happens) about covering the greatest run in Massachusetts girls’ hoops, I’ll tell them about you.

There won’t be a score or a game or a highlight mentioned. It will mostly be the story of a group of Woolies who showed immense character and grace time and time again to this humbled newspaper reporter.

Emulate them, kids. Be someone who has character, no matter how deep the heartbreak.

To you, current and/or future Woolie parents: Thanks for giving me a front row ticket to a great ride. Keep standing in there with character like you did in that press room. And when it comes to overcoming diffi cult challenges as parents, allow me to paraphrase some great perspective I received some years ago…

“This journey is diffi cult, but so worth it.”

Josh Farnsworth is a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, goofball himself, and award-winning writer and columnist living in Worcester. He can be reached for column ideas at josh.farnsworth@yahoo.com.

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 7

DIY

St. Patrick’s Day

SLIME

W

hat kid doesn’t love slime? It’s ooey, gooey and great for sensory play. Make your own

with this quick recipe, which can be easily adapted for other holidays and themes.

What you need

in the glitter, and stir until well incorporated.

⁄ 2 cup water

1

⁄ 2 cup clear glue

1

⁄ 2 cup liquid starch

1

⁄ 4 cup green glitter

1

How to make it In a bowl, mix together the water and glue. Add

Gradually add in the liquid starch, stirring constantly. The texture will begin to change.

Once the starch is mixed in, use your hands to squish and knead to reach the slime consistency throughout.

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GOOSE’S

goodies

COPYCAT

Y

SHAMROCK SHAKE

ou can make the iconic, minty green milkshake at right at home! Dress it up with sprinkles, cherries, or even some Lucky Charms for a little extra St. Patrick’s Day fun.

Ingredients 11⁄ 2 cups vanilla ice cream ⁄ 4 cup whole milk

3

1-2 drops green food coloring ⁄ 2 teaspoon mint extract

1

For garnish Whipped cream Green or gold sprinkles Maraschino cherries

Directions Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. Add more food coloring as needed, depending on how green you want your shake.

Pour milkshakes into two glasses.

Top with whipped cream, sprinkles and cherries.

Known as “Goose” to her grandkids, Laurie Silva Collins has perfected her recipes over years of cooking for her three daughters and six grandchildren.

Make the iconic Shamrock Shake right at home.

AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 9

BITES

nutrition

Why you should serve

‘FAMILY STYLE’ meals and how to get started Sarah Derry Nourished Village Nutrition

Family-style meals give kids a sense of control.

GETTY IMAGES

What are you waiting for?

Join the thousands of followers in more than 180 countries.

One of the best strategies to combat picky eating is to serve meals “family style.” It gives kids a sense of control and allows them to explore foods on their own terms.

My girls love family style meals, whether it’s a picnic on the living room fl oor or eating at the table or counter. They love having the foods at their reach, have fun serving themselves, and even try new foods!

Here are some tips for getting started with family-style meals: 1. Include a variety of foods. Off er diff erent food groups, colors, textures, dips, spreads, etc. Colors are fun and entice children to eat. Dips and spreads can be fun to serve and eat.

2. Have a “show-and-tell” at the beginning of the meal. Let your kids tell you about the foods they know, then you can describe any new foods (for example, “these are roasted peppers – they’re red, yellow, and green just like a traffi c light! They’re a little bit sweet and crunchy.”)

3. Include at least 1-2 things your child likes. This goes for any meal. A meal full of all new foods is scary and may cause your child to shut down and be fearful of eating.

4. Let them dig in. Serve the food in the middle with childfriendly serving utensils so everyone can reach. Tongs and large serving spoons work best for little hands. Young children may need help, but I encourage you to let them try to serve themselves, even if it’s messy!

5. Allow your child to have full control over if and how much they eat. By giving your child independence you help avoid mealtime meltdowns and boost their confi dence.

6. Don’t worry about making it look “Pinterest-worthy.”

No need to arrange things fancy or have coordinating serving bowls. Let’s be real, who really wants to do more dishes? Use cutting boards, bowls, or pans you already used during mealprep for serving. (Just be careful of any hot ones).

Do you have family-style meals? If not, try starting with just one meal a week and let your little ones serve themselves and work up from there.

Follow the UMass Memorial Simply Well blog today:

www.umassmemorial.org/simplywell

10 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

Sarah Derry, registered dietitian, is a child and family nutrition expert who helps families conquer mealtimes and raise happy, adventurous eaters. She off ers virtual coaching at Nourished Village Nutrition. For more tips, follow her on Instagram @nourishing.picky.eaters

COME OUT TO

APPLESEED COUNTRY

Learn more about our family-friendly spring activites at VisitNorthCentral.com!

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 11

cover story

GOODBYE WAITING ROOMS,

HELLO AT-HOME CARE From virtual to house calls, these health care trends are here to stay Debbie Laplaca

It was 5 a.m. and Emily Gray was worried about her young daughter’s fever. Reluctant to take her into an emergency room during the pandemic, she instead called a Mobile Health Care service. Eric J. Hebert, a board-certifi ed pediatric nurse practitioner specializing in primary and acute pediatric care, was at her door by 5:15 a.m.

“It was so easy to call him and get an immediate response,” Gray said. “I was ready to go to the ER and he was at my house by 5:15. Especially with COVID, the comfort of him coming to my home was great.”

Hebert is now the primary pediatric health care provider for both of her children. The decision, she said, was partly because her pediatrician’s offi ce didn’t off er telehealth.

“It started when I was worried about my 1-year-old

12 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

and I couldn’t make to Worcester to get her to the doctor. I called him and he came right over, and she was a million percent better within one hour,” Gray said of Hebert.

Prior to 2020, little was heard of virtual pediatric health care. As COVID-19 spread throughout the country, patients and providers alike welcomed the rapid expansion of mobile and telehealth practices.

Now, at the two-year anniversary of the pandemic, those practices have become commonplace, and many parents are saying goodbye to waiting rooms and hooray to at-home care.

“When people are sick, the last thing they want to do is get in the car. There’s no reason why we can’t do old-fashioned house calls,” Hebert said. “It’s safer, it’s a better delivery system, and I know parents are

concerned about bringing their kids in the emergency room right now.”

When house calls aren’t an option, there’s telehealth.

According to a July 2021 report by McKinsey & Company Health Care Systems & Services, doctors and other health professionals are now seeing 50 to 175 times the number of patients via telehealth than they did before the pandemic, and the shift is expected to continue postpandemic.

Telehealth, sometimes called telemedicine, refers to the use of two-way communication technology for certain health care services.

Massachusetts law defi nes telehealth to include audio, video, electronic media or other telecommunications technology for the purpose of evaluating, diagnosing, consulting, prescribing, treating or monitoring of a patient’s physical health, oral health, mental health or substance use disorder condition.

Dr. Angela Beeler, division chief, Pediatric Primary Care at UMass Memorial, said telehealth was rare before the pandemic.

“It’s amazing how far we have come in the past two years. We now have a very robust system to do telehealth for all providers. I think it’s here to stay,” she said.

Beeler called it a viable option that off ers equity for patients who have physical challenges with getting to an offi ce or have limited access to transportation.

“I think there are places that it works really well, certainly for mental health visits when we don’t need to lay hands on patients,” she said.

“It is also helpful to see patients in their own surroundings. It also has benefi ts for other types of visits such as follow ups.”

As for the advent of Mobile Health Care, Beeler said she favors it when a practice goes mobile to see its patients.

“Sometimes the concern I have with mobile health units doing primary care is they are not an established primary care provider who is familiar with the family or has

established a relationship with the patient,” she said.

“It’s not the fact that it’s mobile, it’s due to a van showing up, providing care, and then they are gone without concerns with continuity.”

That is not the case for Hebert, who established Advanced Mobile Pediatrics in February 2021.

Today, he is a mobile primary care provider to 35 families and has responded to more than 100 people who have called the doc for urgent care.

“I get several calls per week from people who are curious about how it works,” he said.

“There’s no waiting room and there’s no time limit on the appointment. Folks are able to schedule the same day or next day for visits.”

Hebert owns a horse farm in Brimfi eld where the vets still make barn calls. While he had given thought to patient house calls in the past, the pandemic prompted him to push his medical care out the door.

“I do believe house calls in other parts of the country are coming back and certainly the pandemic is pushing that,” Hebert said. “We do have the capacity to bring the offi ce to the home so this may be the primary health care down the road.”

Hebert’s experience spans more than 30 years of direct patient care as an emergency room nurse, pediatric nurse practitioner at Boston Children’s Hospital Medical ICU, pediatric nurse practitioner at Shriner’s Hospitals for Children Burn Unit and primary care pediatric nurse practitioner in the United States Air Force.

Prior to becoming a nurse practitioner, Hebert worked at Boston MedFlight as a fl ight paramedic/critical care transport specialist.

His experience and skills are now used for house calls to patients ages birth to 21. When parents call, Hebert himself answers the phone.

“It’s not an emergency service, it’s a sick care service.

Parents call me for things they would normally bring their child to their pediatrician or urgent care,” he said. “With today’s modern tech, I come equipped with all the latest

“

It’s amazing how far we have come in the past two years. We now have a very robust system to do telehealth for all providers. I think it’s here to stay.”

Play and learn together again!

Dr. Angela Beeler

Division chief, Pediatric Primary Care at UMass Memorial

and greatest testing. Everything I need comes into the home with me. I carry all the urgent care stuff with me and I do have emergency supplies if needed when I get there.”

In addition to primary and urgent pediatric care, Hebert specializes in ADHD, depression, anxiety testing and medication management, he is also a fellow of the KySS online mental health program.

“Twenty to 30% of our youth suff er from mental health issues,” he said. “I just did the extra education to make sure I’m well equipped to handle those kids. The mental health referral list and wait list can be several months, so I just wanted to make sure I could be a bridge.”

Studies say that MHCs are successful in reaching vulnerable populations by delivering services curbside.

They off er urgent care, preventative health screenings, handle chronic disease management.

An impact report from Mobile Health Map, a collaborative research network established in 2007, says mobile health clinics are playing a vital role in the U.S. health care system and are chiefl y used for children.

MHM says mobile programs achieve good patient outcomes, boast impressive returns on investment, and reach underserved communities that otherwise experience barriers to accessing healthcare.

The services include primary care, preventive screening, disease management, behavioral health, dental care, pre-natal care, and pediatric care.

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feature

The secrets to connecting with your

TEEN GETTY IMAGES

Cheryl Maguire

D

o you feel connected to your teen? My teens are always wearing noisecanceling headphones, which makes it a struggle just to communicate.

And it can be hard to connect with someone who seems to be shutting

you out. h But even though it may be challenging, it is important for parents to fi nd ways to create and sustain connections with their teens. According to a new CDC study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, there are noticeable benefi ts for teens who feel connected to their family and school. In addition to experiencing better mental health, teens with strong connections are also less likely to have experiences with risky or violent behaviors as adults.

“When kids hit the teen years parents often feel like they say the wrong thing or their teens rebel so they back off or they get over-controlling—none of that works,” says Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author

of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. “What works is to realize that teens still need your guidance, but you can’t control them. The only way you are going to have any infl uence is through your relationship with your teen.”

14 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

Learn to connect with your teen Dr. Markham stresses the importance of building a relationship with your teen through empathy and understanding. Parents can take a

diff erent approach and create a connection with their teen while setting limits at the same time.

For example, if a teen has not emptied the dishwasher because he is playing his guitar, a parent might be inclined to yell across the room, “Get in here and empty the dishwasher.”

Meanwhile, the kid is thinking, My parents don’t understand. I’m almost done practicing this song. He might then respond, “Just a minute, Mom,” which turns the situation turns into an unhappy interaction with both people feeling like the other person is wrong.

Dr. Markham suggests tak-

ing a more empathetic and understanding approach.

For the parent, emptying the dishwasher is a priority, but the teen doesn’t understand why his parent is so upset about it. Yes, he is supposed to do the chore, but he thinks what he is doing is important. He would also like his parent to notice how much better his guitar playing has become.

Dr. Markham suggests that instead of yelling at the kid, the parent could sit next to them on the couch and say, “I love to hear you playing the guitar, but I need to get dinner started, so the dishwasher needs to be emptied. I would love to hear you play some

more after you empty the dishwasher.”

“In this scenario the parent is not fi ghting with their teen,” she explains. “Rather, the parent is telling their teen what they need to do, in an understanding manner, so the parent has protected the relationship even while they have enforced a limit.”

Create connectedness through routines and rituals “Parents know they are supposed to have date night with their signifi cant other in order to have a healthy relationship,” says Dr. Markham.

“But what about date night, or some version of it, with your teenager?”

Using her own experience as an example, she explains how her husband and daughter would go to brunch once a month. During their time together they would play cards, read the newspaper, and talk about topics that mattered to them. She says that the routine or ritual we choose to share with our kids can be any activity, as long as we do it on a regular basis. It can even be a chore, such as doing the dishes together. By doing this activity together, we create a connection that becomes the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Make sure you’re available Dr. Markahm points out that teens often open up on car rides. “You are not looking in their eyes and so they feel more open,” she says.

But your conversations don’t have to be confi ned to the car. She mentions a father who would wait up until midnight for his older teenagers to get home and then have a snack with them. This ritual, and making himself available, encouraged his teens to open up about their friends and interests. If your teen asks to talk to you, make sure you’re available, or schedule a time when you can give them your full attention.

Be a good listener “Most parents are terrible listeners,” says Dr. Markham.

“Parents get anxious when their teen tells them about a problem.” She explains that most parents’ initial reaction to a problem their child might be having is to try to solve it.

But she recommends resisting the urge to fi gure out a solution. Our job is not to solve every problem, it’s to listen and off er validation.

“If the parent listens and validates the issue by saying things like, ‘That must have hurt your feelings. Sounds like you are upset. And then what happened?’ You validate what is going on,” says Dr. Markham. Validating a teen’s feelings helps them develop good judgment. Rather than fi xing the problem for them, our validation empowers them to believe they can do something to make the situation better themselves.

Helping your teen feel connected at school “Encourage your teen to see teachers at the school as a resource,” says Dr. Markham.

Feeling connected to their school is not only good for teens, the CDC study found it can also have positive results for them when they are adults.

We can support our kids’ connectedness to school by encouraging them to attend school-sponsored activities, like sporting events or performances. “Cheering as a group for a team makes us feel close to the people around us,” explains Dr. Markham.

Connected teens become healthy adults As the CDC study highlights, the benefi ts of connectedness in the teen years carry over into adulthood. Teens who feel connected to their family and school are less likely to experience violence, be diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection, or abuse controlled and illegal substances as adults.

“There is zero doubt in my mind that when kids feel connected to their parents, they are healthier and happier,” Dr. Markham says. “A connected teen is going to become an adult that feels the world is a good place and they are cared about. It is an emotional safety net–someone cares.”

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 15

ON THE

agenda

MARCH ADVENTURES

13 things to do this month

SEARCH SEARCH RESULTS SEARCH RESULTS RESULTS

JESSICA CRONIN PHOTOGRPAHY

w Preschool Farm Explorer Fridays

w Discovery Museum First Friday Night Free

Friday, March 4 Acton Explore the museum and Discovery Woods with free admission on the fi rst Friday night of each month. Nonperishable food donations for Open Table and the Acton Food Pantry are accepted.

Reservations are required and can be made 10 days in advance. discoveryacton.org.

THE TRUSTEES

Fridays, March 4, 11 & 25 Southborough Little explorers will be fully immersed in what life is like at Chestnut Hill Farm, with a new experience each Friday morning. Learn about a farm topic then take a walk around to look for animal signs, do a science experiment, or visit the animals in the barnyard.

Finish the morning with a project to take home. For ages 2 years 9 months to age 5. Adult supervision is required; not a drop off program. Registration required. thetrustees.org.

SPRINGFIELD MUSEUMS

THE TRUSTEES

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x Kiddos in the Kitchen

Wednesdays, March 9 & 23 Dover Powisset Farm hosts two drop-off cooking classes for children ages 7-12 this month.

On March 9, kids will learn to make classic New England whoopie pies. On March 23, they’ll cook up springtime treats including green goddess dip, spring fl ower sugar cookies and fruit and veggie smoothies. Cost $75; Trustees members $60. thetrustees.org.

x Biggest, Best Dr. Seuss Birthday Party

Saturday, March 5 Springfi eld The Springfi eld Museum, home to The Amazing World of Dr. Seuss Museum, hosts this all-day salute to beloved children’s author and Springfi eld-native Theodor Seuss Geisel on his 118th birthday! Meet the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 and Thing 2, enjoy a strolling magician, and spin the big wheel to answer Seuss trivia and win prizes. You can also make your own Seuss-inspired crafts, like a wacky wiki vehicle and a silly Seussian character. Included with the cost of admission. springfi eldmuseums.org.

March 12 & 26 Worcester What was it like to be a soldier? How did one live? What was the equipment like? At the Worcester Art Museum, learn about the Roman Empire from Legionary and Auxiliary soldiers of the First Century through their history, weapons, tactics, and daily life on March 12. Then, on March 26, explore the armor of medieval knights. Free with admission. worcesterart.org.

THE TRUSTEES

v Arms & Armor Demonstrations

x Junior Farmer for a Day at Chestnut Hill Farm

Monday, March 21 Southborough Help care for farm animals, learn about farm-fresh food, hike the trails, create natural crafts, and explore the farm from the eyes of its most important team member: the farmer! This drop-off program is designed for children in grades K-5. Cost $90; $72 for Trustees members. Registration required. thetrustees.org.

WORCESTER ART MUSEUM

THE TRUSTEES GETTY IMAGES

x Creative Clay Sculptures Stories for Children

March 5, 12 & 19 Lincoln Over three consecutive Saturday mornings at deCordova, kids will use fun clay hand-building and decorating techniques to create a variety of small story-connected sculptures. All tools, materials and fi ring are included in this course, appropriate for all skill levels and ages 7-15. Cost $170; $136 for Trustees members. thetrustees.org.

v Winter Story Hour in the Carriage Barn

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THE TRUSTEES

March 6 & 13 Ipswich Tuck the bunnies, chickens, and goats in for the night at Appleton Farms. This program is an open, self-guided hour of free exploration in the barnyard, punctuated by two stories read aloud. Bring your favorite farm-y stuff ed animal and a blanket if you’d like.

Registration required. thetrustees.org.

x Preschool Story Hour

x St. Patrick’s Day Parades

Sundays March 13 & 20 Worcester & South Boston Don your green and stake out a good spot. Colorful fl oats, music and Irish cheer await as St. Patrick’s Day Parades return this month after a two-year hiatus. The Worcester Country parade marches on Park Ave. on Sunday, March 13. The Southie Parade takes off from West Broadway on Sunday, March 20.

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x Roaring Lion Birthday Celebration

Saturday, March 12 Boston Franklin Park Zoo’s lion brothers, Dinari and Kamaia, are turning 13! Celebrate the occasion and see the big cats enjoy a special “birthday cake.” Stop by their exhibit for educational chats to learn all about lions all day long. Free with admission. zoonewengland.org.

March 11, 23, 24 & 25 Worcester & Princeton Enjoy a thematic story hour, activity and naturalistled walk at Broad Meadow Brook or Wachusett Meadow Wildlife Sanctuaries. March topics include the water cycle, winter birds and salamanders. For ages 2.5 to 5. Cost $5.

Registration required. massaudubon.org.

Presenting puppets, princesses, pirates, storytelling and much more!

Call today for more information All Ages.

Birthday Parties, Schools, Fairs, Day Care Centers, Etc.

www.rosalitaspuppets.com 617-633-2832

WM-0000487817-01

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 17

w Dino Safari

w CoComelon LIVE! JJ’s Journey

BOCH CENTER

March 26 Boston The hit series’ fi rst-ever live production is coming to the Wang Theater for two shows.

Join JJ and his family in JJ’s journey to writing his own song. With all the favorite characters and over 20 songs, including new original music, the show is a terrifi c journey through the world of CoComelon. Expect a fun-fi lled, interactive musical romp with magical special eff ects.

Tickets start at $33.50. bochcenter.org.

DINO SAFARI

Welcoming pediatric patients!

Daily Boston Grab a Jurassic passport and feel the thrill of standing next to 30+ giant moving dinosaurs on this walk-through expedition at historic Quincy Market. Along the journey, earthquakes might erupt, dinosaurs could battle, and your family might just have to help save a baby dinosaur’s life.

You’ll learn how dinosaurs evolved over time, where on Earth they lived, and the discoveries paleontologists have made about how they ate, moved, and behaved. Tickets start at $18. dinosafariboston.com.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE

x Emotions at Play with Pixar’s Inside Out

Daily Boston The fi rst interactive exhibit based on the award-winning fi lm is on display through May 15 at the Museum of Science, Boston. Focusing on the fi ve core emotions featured in Disney and Pixar’s Inside Out – Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear – hands-on and digital experiences off er opportunities to explore some of the ways we express our emotions – and recognize emotions in others, too. Even if you’re not familiar with the fi lm, you’ll see how identifying emotions, creating memories, and fostering storytelling are universal experiences for all of us.

Included with admission. mos.org.

StoryWalk at the Auburn Mall

(508) 425-5857

reliantmedicalgroup.org/kids 18 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

Daily Auburn Take a stroll through the Auburn Mall’s indoor StoryWalk with self-guided stories from Auburn Library located at the West Wing. Books are geared for ages 3-8 and are changed out every 3 weeks.

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 19

the list

7 sweet

MAPLE SUGARING experiences

I

t’s Maple Month! As winter melts into spring, the trees are tapped and the flowing sap is collected and turned into the sweet syrup we love. In the Bay

State, more than 300 maple producers make more than 50,000 pounds of syrup every year. There are sugar shacks in every corner of the state, and many offer tours and demonstrations this time of year. You can find a sugarhouse near you at massmaple.org. For even more fun, check out these sweet maple experiences happening in March. v Maple Sugaring Saturdays

Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary, Topsfield On Saturdays, March 5, 12 and 19, experience the age-old tradition of maple sugaring on a guided walk through the forest and a visit to the sugarhouse. You’ll learn how to identify sugar maples, see sap collection methods, and watch the sap be boiled down. Finish it off with a taste of the final product. For ages 3 and up. Adults $12, children $10; Mass Audubon members $11/$9. Register at massaudubon.org.

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x Maple Magic

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20 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

Drumlin Farm, Lincoln Help the farmer with Drumlin Farm’s first crop of the year. Visit the maple grove to check the taps and taste some sap as you learn how syrup is made, from past to present. Maple Magic is offered Saturday, March 5 and Sunday, March 13. Tickets $17; Mass Audubon Members $14. Register at massaudubon.org.

OLD STURBRIDGE VILLAGE

x Maple Days

Old Sturbridge Village, Sturbridge Weekends in March, the Village’s working sugar camp demonstrates maple sugaring as it was done in early 19th century New England. See the entire sugar-making process, from tapping the trees to “sugaring off.” Watch as costumed historians cook period foods made with maple products and the tinner and cooper make maple-related items. Included admission, adults $28, seniors $26, youth $14, children under 3 free. More at osv.org.

THE TRUSTEES

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x Family Maple Syruping Workshop

Appleton Farms, Ipswich This two-hour, hands-on workshop takes place each weekend in March. You’ll go through the whole process, from identifying maple sugar trees to boiling sap. Explore maple sugaring tools and use a hand drill to practice tapping a tree. Finish up with a story– and, of course, a maple syrup sample! Tickets $20; Trustees members $15. Sign up at thetrustees.org.

LAND’S SAKE FARM

x Maple Harvest Day

MOOSE HILL WILDLIFE SANCTUARY

x Maple Sugaring Weekend

Moose Hill Wildlife Sanctuary, Sharon Experience the sugaring process from tree to table and learn how sugaring has evolved from Native American to colonial times to current day methods. In this 90-minute outdoor tour, offered March 12 and 13, you’ll meet people portraying characters from the past going about their daily tasks, including sugaring. Conclude your tour at the sugarhouse and enjoy a taste of the syrup. For ages 4 and up. Adults $14, children $13; Mass Audubon members $12/$11. Register at massaudubon.org.

Storrowton Village Museum, West Springfield Celebrate all things maple on Saturday, March 12 at this annual event highlighting the history and tradition of maple sugaring in New England. The historic Gilbert Farmhouse will turn into a sugarhouse for the day. Visitors can learn how the “liquid gold” is made, from tree tapping to sap boiling, and watch 19th century open hearth cooking and crafting demonstrations.

Finish it off with a plate of pancakes and pure maple syrup. Add even more fun to the day by booking a horse drawn carriage ride through the Big E Fairgrounds to the Eastern States Exposition Farmer’s Market. Details at storrwotonvillage.com.

x Sugaring Off Festival

Weston Middle School, Weston Mark the transition from winter to spring at this annual festival put on by Land’s Sake Farm (date TBA). Small group tours of the Weston Middle School Sugar House offer a glimpse at the process from beginning to finished product of boiling maple sap into syrup. Forestry and education staff will be on hand to answer questions and show you behind the scenes. Find more at landssake.org.

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 21

feature

COLLEGE KIDS

WANT TO TALK

TO PARENTS ABOUT SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS Jennifer M. Grossman, Ph.D.

Some of us might assume that our job description as a parent includes talking to our kids about sex when they reach middle or high school. And indeed, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that parents talk with their children about sex “early and often.” But research shows that these conversations don’t end at high school graduation–nor should they. Parents’ talk with their college-age kids about sex and relationships can make a positive diff erence in their health, and in fact, emerging adults appreciate having these conversations.

I’m a research scientist who studies how families communicate about sex and relationships, and my team recently looked at communication between parents and children about sexuality over three time points, from early adolescence to emerging adulthood (age 18-25). Between 2012 and 2019, we interviewed 15 parents when their child was in 7th grade, when their child was in 10th grade, and after their child fi nished high school. We found that parents continued to talk with their emerging adult children about sex and relationships, but what they talked about and how they talked changed over time.

Emerging adults have high rates of sexual risk behavior. This makes

22 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent

Wellesley Centers for Women

sense, as they’re at a point in their lives when they often explore relationships and sex, and are exposed to new people and experiences, especially at college. However, research shows that talk with parents about sex and relationships may reduce this risk by supporting emerging adults’ sexual health and self-esteem.

Emerging adulthood also involves changing relationships with parents–both growing autonomy and increased mutuality and connection, as you may be pleasantly surprised to discover. While you may need to let go of the idea that you can control their decisions and behaviors, you may also fi nd that you can talk more as peers, which opens up opportunities for more honest discussions about sex and relationships.

These conversations will be different from the conversations you had with them when they were younger. They may be less abstract and more specifi c, like zeroing in on how to deal with specifi c issues in their current relationship. They may continue to focus on avoiding pregnancy, while also exploring

parenthood options. In any case, you’ll want to meet your child at the developmental stage where they are.

It’s surprising to some parents just how much their emerging adult children appreciate having conversations about sex and relationships. Research shows that these discussions are important to emerging adults. They want their parents to talk openly with them about sex and relationships, including topics like sexual orientation and sexual assault, which parents often avoid discussing.

Still, it’s not all smooth sailing.

They may have a positive reaction one moment–asking questions, sharing details of their lives–and a negative one the next–avoiding you and rolling their eyes. Avoidance of talk in one moment does not necessarily mean they don’t want to talk at all or suggest that they won’t respond to a conversation later. Be persistent and tolerant of mixed messages, and look for opportunities to talk about sexual issues. Notice what opens things up and shuts things down in your conversations. You may fi nd

that certain topics, like their sexual behavior, are more likely to shut a conversation down, while following up on a comment they made about their relationship may open up a longer conversation. Also, be patient with yourself and tolerant of your own discomfort.

Gender can also play a role in our comfort level; for example, some mothers are uncomfortable talking with their emerging adult male children about these topics, because it may feel awkward or intrusive. Although many studies explore gender diff erences in talk with adolescents about sex, there’s still a lot to learn about the role of gender during emerging adulthood.

Talking to our emerging adults about sex and relationships can be challenging–or it can be easy, or awkward, or rewarding. Or it can be all of these. One thing is clear: our kids need our support when it comes to their sexual health, and the need for that support doesn’t end after high school.

Jennifer M. Grossman, Ph.D., is a senior research scientist who leads the Family, Sexuality, and Communication Research Initiative at the Wellesley Centers for Women, a research and action institute at Wellesley College.

Take Five with

‘grandma blogger’ Cheryl Beaudoin

F

Amanda Collins Bernier Bay State Parent Magazine | USA TODAY NETWORK

rom relatable stories to craft ideas and everything in between, mom bloggers have plenty to share in the realm of parenting. But what about grandparents? With years of experience under their belts, grandparents have plenty of advice and ideas to off er.

Amid the growing number of “grandma bloggers” is Cheryl Beaudoin, a grandmother of

four and a former kindergarten teacher in Acton who sits on the Board of Directors at the Discovery Museum. On her Grandparent Discoveries blog, she share stories, insights, and ideas about the joys — and challenges — of grandparenting.

Where did the idea for blog dedicated to grandparenting come from?

The museum has always known and recognized that grandparents are important visitors. I had been discussing ideas of making sure they were supported and was then asked by our CEO Neil Gordon to head up a “Grandparent Task Force” where a small group could brainstorm ways we could engage and support grandparents. Out of many meetings and some focus groups, we came up with the idea to write a blog to support grandparents. I had secretly always wanted to write a blog so it was a match made in heaven!

Cheryl Beaudoin with her four grandchildren.

What are some topics you hope to cover or bring awareness to?

We hope to stay on top of grandparent “trends” and issues that grandparents face. Using my education background I hope to be able to address ideas of connection to grandchildren and create strong bonds that will strengthen through time allowing grandparents to be important “fi gures” in their grands’ lives, who they can always count on, who love them unconditionally. It is a gift for children to have many adults they trust and love in their lives who they can count on through the years.

What have you learned about yourself since becoming a grandmother?

I guess I’ve learned a new kind of love. It’s very special and unique - a little hard to put into words honestly! When I hear “Gigi” my heart skips a beat!

We loved reading about Camp Gigi, the summer camp you put together for your grandkids. Will there be a Camp Gigi 2022?

What would you change about it?

I am absolutely planning on a Camp Gigi 2022! I think I tried to pack in too many activities so I’m thinking in 2022 I will keep more “free time” and maybe structure fewer days and leave a day of choice. The

GRANDPARENT DISCOVERIES

week started off strong but as we got deeper into the week things started to unravel a bit so I will keep that in mind as I plan out this year.

What’s your favorite memory of your own grandparents?

I visited my grandparents every Sunday, driving from Marlborough to Waltham. We would hit both sets of grandparents. My favorite memories are at my dad’s parents’ house where all my cousins would be as well, and we’d have Grampy’s soup for dinner. My grandmother loved seeing us each week and made us always feel special. It created strong cousin bonds that would continue be strong into our adult lives.

At my mom’s parents’ house I loved trying new French dishes that my grandmother would cook and listening to them speaking French. My grandfather was quite a jokester and kept us always laughing! Very fond memories of all of my grandparents.

Read Grandparent Discoveries at discoveryacton.org/grandparent-discoveries-blog.

BayStateParent | MARCH 2022 | 23

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For appointments, call 855-UMASS-MD (855-862-7763) or visit umassmemorial.org/IVF. 24 | MARCH 2022 | BayStateParent