Tidbits - Denver Metro Area - Issue #1133

Page 1

Denver Metro Area April 12, 2010

Issue #1133

Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC

Form 1040 U.S. Individual Tax Return

DON’T DELAY!!!

File your 1040 or Extension by April 15th

Accounting & Consulting Services, LLC

Call Today!

(303) 856-3554 “Se Habla Español”

FOR ADVERTISING CALL (303) 688-1987

Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF

PETS

by Rick Dandes

Seventy-five percent of Americans own pets, opening their homes to an estimated 77 million cats and 61 million dogs. Why do we love our pets so much? Maybe this is the reason. Nearly 94 percent of pet owners report that their animal pal makes them smile more than once a day. So with that in mind, here is Tidbits’ salute to pets.

www.acs-denver.com

ImmIgratIon attorneys

“A real pro gym for everyone”

MMA CARDIO boxing, kickboxing BOXING amateur boxing team JUI JITSU MUY THAI CROSSFIT Classes start as low as $49.99!

Professional, Effective, Innovative

• The canine nose works one million times more efficiently than the human nose, according to scientists.

NOW OFFERING KIDS AND ADULT CLASSES Mention this ad and receive one free training class

A.T.T. ALTITUDE

11091 E MISSISSIPPI AVE, AURORA , 303-366-0629

• The eight heaviest breeds of dog are: St. Bernard, English Mastiff, Great Dane, Irish Wolfhound, Tibetan Mastiff, Newfoundland, Neapolitan Mastiff and Anatolian Karabash. • A cat preening its back or the back of its ear is said to be a sign of rain.

Chapter 7 or 13

• Cats almost never “purr” at other cats. The sound is reserved for humans.

Bankruptcy

• The oldest cat ever recorded was a tabby named “Puss” in Devon, England, who lived to be an amazing 36 years of age.

www.coloradobklawyer.com email: nomoredebt@qwest.net

Hill law OffiCe, P.C.

• Quite a few pet birds can learn to talk and can say as many as 200 words and phrases.

20 years experience | affordable | fast | personal service

• Many scientists believe that birds are closely related to dinosaurs.

(303) 525-9531

lawrence R. Hill, attorney at law 1901 w. littleton Blvd. | littleton, CO 80120 weareadebtreliefagency.wehelppeoplefilebankruptcyundertheBankruptcyCode.

Front Page Classifieds

Queen Pillowtop

New King

5-PC New Microfiber

Pottery Barn Style

A Brand New Queen Pillowtop Pillowtop Mattress Set Mattress Set with warranty. Foundation with Warranty. $255 $159. Delivery Available. Can Deliver. 303-758-1312 303-758-1312 Living Room Set. With warranty Beautiful New Panel $599 Can Deliver. Bedroom Set - $1799 Call - 303-758-1312 Stunning Espresso raised panel window frame. Solid wood New Leather Sofa In original carton with warranty. dovetailed drawers with felt lining, unique nickel hardware. $599 Can Deliver. 7-Piece Set includes Bed, 303-758-1312 Dresser, Mirror, Nightstand, and 5-Drawer Chest! Beautiful Cherry Formal List Price $5,800 sell: $1799 Dining Set - 8 Piece Call 303-758-1312 Table with leaf, 2 arm charis, 4 side chairs. NEW!!! All in original $599 Brand New All Wood boxes. All SOLID Hardwood! 5 PC Bedroom Set Lists for over $3000, must sell In box with manufacturer’s $899. Delivery available. Hutch warranty. Can Deliver. available. Call 303-758-1312 303-758-1312

• African Gray parrots are said to be so smart that they can make up their own sentences. For example, one Gray, named Baby, knew his owner’s name and heard people ask the owner if she was leaving for work. He also heard her tell the kids to go to school. He put it all together and said, “Mom, go to work.” continued on page 2!

Detentions & Bond Hearing, Withholding of Deportation, Immigration & Federal Courts Naturalization & Citizenship H1B Visas & Corporate Compliance Cancellation of Removal & Voluntary Departures Hardship Waivers & Adjustment of Status Employment and Family Based Green Cards - and more!

Tel: (303) 731-9708 (303) 261-7290 - Espanol website: www.EkaetteLaw.com 4643 S. Ulster St. Suite 800, Denver, CO 80237 Admissions: New York, England & Wales (UK)

Solid, Dependable Professional service at a price you can afford.

• All Plumbing Repairs • Drain and Sewer Cleaning • Hot Water Heater EXPERTS Mention “Tidbits” and save $29!

Some restrictions apply. Call for details. Limited time offer.

Colorado’s 1st LICENSED GREEN Plumber

303-916-6226

www.PlumbingHelpToday.com

Do you suffer from: Overactive Bladder? Psoriasis? Hypertension with Type 2 Diabetes? Acne? Post-Menopausal Low Sex Drive?

Horizons Clinical Research Center, LLC is conducting clinical research studies of investigational treatments for these conditions. As a participant in one of our research studies you will receive: - All clinic visits, lab assessments, medical exams, and investigational treatments free of charge - Also compensation for your time and travel

To learn more call

303.399.4067 or email info@horizonscrc.com


Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 2 PETS (continued) • Dalmatian puppies are born pure white, without their distinctive spots. It’s only when they start to grow that their black or brown spots begin to appear. • A dog’s whiskers are touch-sensitive hairs called vibrissae. They are found on the muzzle, above the eyes and below the jaws, and can actually sense tiny changes in airflow. • According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach and Maggie. • An American Animal Hospital Association poll showed that 33 percent of dog owners admit that they talk to their dogs on the phone or leave messages on an answering machine while away. • According to ancient Greek literature, when Odysseus arrived home after an absence of 20 years disguised as a beggar, the only one to recognize him was his aged dog Argos, who wagged his tail at his master and then died. • An estimated 1 million dogs in the United States have been named the primary beneficiary in their owner’s will. • At the end of the Beatles’ song “A Day in the Life,” an ultrasonic whistle, audible only to dogs, was recorded by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog. • Barbara Bush’s book about her English springer spaniel, “Millie’s Book,” was on the bestseller list for 29 weeks. Millie was the most popular “First Dog” in history. • Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year. • Who’s smarter, cats or dogs? Cats have better memories than dogs. Tests conducted by the University of Michigan concluded that while a dog’s memory lasts no more than 5 minutes, a cat’s can last as long as 16 hours, exceeding even that of monkeys and orangutans. • Cats have more than 100 vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. • Cats, not dogs, are the most common pets in America. After cats and dogs are Parakeets, coming in a distant third at 14 million. • Contrary to popular belief, dogs do not sweat by salivating. They sweat through the pads of their feet. • Dachshunds are the smallest breed of

$%.6%2 -%42/ !2%!

The Neatest Paper Ever Read! Owned and operated by: Mountain View Publishing, LLC

For advertising or distribution information call or e-mail us today! Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com

(303) 688-1987 www.TidbitsOfDenver.com

Issue #1133

dog used for hunting. They are low to the ground, which allows them to enter and maneuver through tunnels easily.

ECHO HEARING CENTER, INC 3501 S Corona Suite 2 Englewood, CO 80113 303-789-1322

• Developed in Egypt about 5,000 years ago, the greyhound breed was known before the ninth century in England, where it was bred by aristocrats to hunt such small game as hares.

Echo Hearing Center has been serving the Denver community for 50 years. Our caring staff at Echo Hearing Center possess the highest credentials and are committed to patient satisfaction. We understand that “value” is not measured by price alone.

• Dogs are mentioned 14 times in the Bible. • A cat’s brain is more similar to a human’s brain than that of a dog. • A cat’s arching back is part of a complex body language system, usually associated with feeling threatened. The arch is able to get so high because the cat’s spine contains nearly 60 vertebrae which fit loosely together. Humans have only 34 vertebrae. • A cat’s hearing rates as one of the top in the animal kingdom. Cats can hear sounds as high-pitched as 65 kHz; a human’s hearing stops at just 20 kHz. • A cat’s heart beats at 110 to 140 beats per minute, twice as fast as a human heart. • A cat’s tail held high means happiness. A twitching tail is a warning sign, and a tail tucked in close to the body is a sure sign of insecurity. • A cat’s tail plays a vital part in the cat’s balance and in the “righting reflex” that allows it to land on its feet after falling from a height.

• • • •

Exceptional Value Experienced Professionals Excellent Service Extraordinary Technology

Why 2 Hearing Aids Are Better Than 1:

Better Sound Discrimination: similar sounds can often be distinguished when heard with two ears. Improved Understanding: information from two ears is blended in the brain to form a complete picture of sound, one ear alone is not capable of doing this. Sound Source Location: it takes two ears to effectively be able to locate where a sound comes from. Less Stressful Listening: Listening with two ears is less stressing and you don’t have to turn your “good ear” to sound. We were born with two ears for a reason. When compared to listening with one ear, with two we can hear from both sides, hear a variety of sounds, be able to locate sounds, and have better larity and understanding.Without two ears our brain is presented with an incomplete picture of sound making communication harder. Mention this ad for $500 off a pair of digital hearing instruments.

www.EchoHearingCenter.com according to American Kennel Club registration statistics. Three toy breeds are among the top 10 in popularity on the most recent list: the Yorkshire Terrier, Chihuahua and Shih Tzu rank 6th, 9th and 10th, respectively. A decade ago, no toy breeds were in the top 10.

• Seventy percent of people sign their pet’s • Some 39 percent of pet owners say they name on greeting cards and 58 percent inhave more photos of their pet than of their clude their pets in family and holiday porspouse or significant other. traits, according to a survey done by the • “Seizure Alert” dogs can alert their owners American Animal Hospital Association. up to an hour before the onset of an epi• Small dogs are rapidly gaining popularity, leptic seizure.


April 12, 2010

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 3

We Clean Drains NOT Bank Accounts

• On April 12, 1633, physicist and astronomer Galileo Galilei is ordered to turn himself in to begin trial for the second time for holding the belief that the Earth revolves around the Sun. It took more than 300 years for the Church to admit that Galileo was right and to clear his name of heresy. • On April 13, 1742, George Friedrich Handel’s “Messiah” premieres in Dublin. Although singing the oratorio has become a Christmas tradition, the “Messiah” made its world premiere during the Christian season of Lent. Handel composed the score for “Messiah” in just 24 days. • On April 15, 1865, President Abraham Lincoln succumbs to a gunshot wound inflicted by an assassin the night before, and he is pronounced dead at 7:22 a.m. During the autopsy, Mary Lincoln sent the surgeons a note requesting they cut a lock of Lincoln’s hair for her. • On April 14, 1912, just before midnight in the North Atlantic, the RMS Titanic fails to divert its course from an iceberg, ruptures its hull and begins to sink. The Titanic’s hull was divided into 16 compartments that were presumed to be watertight, and the ship was considered unsinkable. • On April 16, 1947, in Texas City’s port on Galveston Bay, a fire aboard the French freighter Grandcamp ignites ammonium nitrate, causing a massive blast that destroys much of the city and takes nearly 600 lives. The fire department tried to douse the flames, but the ship was so hot that the water from their fire hoses instantly vaporized. • On April 17, 1964, the Ford Mustang is officially unveiled by Henry Ford II at the World’s Fair in Flushing Meadows, N.Y. The car debuted that same day, and almost 22,000 Mustangs were immediately snapped up by buyers. Named for a World War II fighter plane, the first models carried a starting price tag of around $2,300. • On April 18, 1983, Joan Benoit wins her second Boston Marathon in the women’s division with a time of 2:22:43. The inaugural Boston Marathon was run on April 19, 1897, and was a men-only event until 1972, when women were officially allowed to compete. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Family owned and operated in the Denver area since 1940 We GUARANTEE our work!

(303) 571-5114 www.GarvinsSewerService.com

• • • • • • • •

Indoor & outdoor repairs Plumbing Drain-Cleaning All clogs Sewer Line Inspections Water heaters Heating & A/C Furnaces - AND MORE!

Your emergency can’t wait, why should you? 24/7 service with NO overtime charges EVER!


Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 4

Issue #1133

We have the insurance you need!

Protect Your Home and Car! • Theft • Accident

Protect Your Family! • Health • Life

We’re here to help YOU! » Roofing

Call Now! (303) 397-7830

We’ve Got You Covered!

» New or Repairs

FOR WEEK OF APRIL 12, 2010

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A problem in getting a workplace project up and moving might upset the Lamb, who likes things done on time. But be patient. The delay could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your instincts are usually on the mark, so if you feel uneasy about being asked for advice on a certain matter, it’s probably a good idea that you opt not to comply with the request. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might have two minds about a proposed change (which often happens with the Twins), but once all the facts are in, you’ll be able to make a definitive decision. Good luck. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) The Crab’s frugal aspect dominates, so while you might be reluctant to pay for technical repairs, the time you save in getting things back on track could be well worth the expense. LEO (July 23 to August 22) While you Leos and Leonas continue to concentrate on doing well in your work-related ventures this week, consider reserving the weekend for sharing good times with family and friends. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) This is a good week to take stock of the important personal, professional or familial relationships in your life and see where you might need to do some intense shoring up. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Your sense of justice makes you the likely person to help deal with a work- or family-related grievance. But you need to have any doubts about anyone’s true agenda resolved first. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) The Scorpio passion for getting things done right and on time might rankle some folks. Never mind them. Others will be impressed, and they’re the ones you want in your corner. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Finances could be a mite tight this week. And, while things will ease up soon enough, you savvy Sagittarians will want to keep a prudent eye on your expenses at this time. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Although a technical malfunction could cause a temporary delay in getting things up and running, you could use the time to recheck your operation and make changes where necessary. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) You might find it difficult to resist making a snap judgment about a colleague’s behavior. But stick with your usual way of assessing situations and wait for the facts to come out. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Asking for help with a family situation might be the wisest course to take right now. Just be sure you turn to someone you can trust to do and say the right thing for the right reasons. BORN THIS WEEK: People see in you a born leader whom they can follow and put their trust in. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Spring l! Specia uard af G

e Free L of or new ro y n a with k or gutter w

» Siding » Seamless Gutters » Exterior Remodeling

» Family Owned and Operated » Best Price!

At DHR Home Repair we care about you and your home. Call today for your Free estimate! Licensed, Bonded and Insured We are your home’s best friend!

720-427-1254 303-905-3152 Fax: 888-378-0237

DHRHomeRepairs.com All major credit cards accepted. In home financing available no credit check!

Denver/Boulder

How to Eat an Elephant

Losing weight, toning and firming your body is a challenge - I want to help YOU!

Improve the quality of your life

Heirlooms

Look younger - Feel Better Be More Active... Let me help you make a difference today! Kim Sopoci personal fitness trainer

Mall

1947 S. Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Sat 10-6 Sun Noon-5

www.KimSopoci.com (303) 690.3507

Attackers don’t care who you are

Learn how to protect yourself and those you love 16th Annual Personal Protection Conference Saturday April 24th and Sunday April 25th

with world-reknown Self-Defense expert, Grandmaster John Pellegrini No previous training required. This event is open to everyone ages 10 and older. Additional conference information, including the registration form and schedule, is available at www.ICHFColorado.com - click on the link to the conference Location: Lakewood Holiday Inn, 7390 West Hampden Time: 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM - both days You can submit your registration forms via email to Bud@ICHFColorado.com, or fax to (303) 484-5080 Don’t Delay - Be Safe Today!


April 12, 2010

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 5

The show ThaT’s leaving millions in awe.

Events FREE OPEN HOUSE: April 24, 2010, 10:00 am - 3:00 pm and April 25, 2010, 11:00 am - 2:00 pm. Sprouts Christian Learning Center, 10700 E. Iliff Ave, Aurora (SE Corner of Iliff and Havana). FREE Tour the facilities and meet the teachers - FACE PAINTING, Donuts, coffee, juice. PRIZES FOR THE CHILDREN! For more information call Cynthia Hall (303) 309-6293 or go on line - www.SproutsChristian.org Who’s On First?: The History of Negro League Baseball: Now through May 29, 2010. Blair-Caldwell African American Research Library, 2401 Weltton St., Denver. Open during library hours, this temporary exhibit features items from the collections of Jay Sanford and John Kohl. Special programs on April 12th, April 19th, April 26th and May 3rd. Call for details: 720-865-2401. Project C.U.R.E: April 19, 2010, 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm, 10377 E Geddes Ave, Centennial. The South Metro Chamber has teamed up with Project C.U.R.E. and established a sorting session on the 3rd Monday of every month. Project C.U.R.E. is a non-profit that gathers unused medical supplies that would normally be thrown away. Those supplies are then sorted, boxed, and shipped to developing countries around the world in dire need of items as simple as latex gloves and sutures. www.TheBestChamber.com or call 303.795.0142. Cinco de Mayo Festival: May 8, 2010 May 9, 2010. Civic Center Park - FREE. 10:00 am - 8:00 pm. The largest Cinco de Mayo festival in the country! Live entertainment, art, food, drink, children’s activities. 720-913-0630 B.A.D. - Bikers Against Diabetes: 9th Annual Poker Run to benefit Childrens’ Hospital Diabetes Research. May 16, 2010 Registration @ 8:30am - 1st Bike out @ 9:00am. $20 Rider / $10 Passenger. Breakfast Buffet available @ 8:00am for $6.00. Live Band - Raffles Silent Auction - 50/50 Drawing. Fraternal Order of Eagles of Aurora #3224, 1151 S. Galena St Toastmasters International: Every 1st and 3rd Monday of the month. Become the Speaker and Leader you want to be! 11:30 am - 12:30 pm, 6060 S Willow Dr, DTC. Contact Michelle at 720-987-3459. www.wrytoast.freetoasthost.com/index. html

Free Events

Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science: Check web site for 2010 Free days. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny. 1275 19th St in Denver. 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave. 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov

Sports

Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Round 1 Playoffs - Date and Time to be announced 4/12 Denver Nuggets - NBA • Memphis: Mon Apr 12, 7:00 pm • At Phoenix: Tue Apr 13, 8:30 pm Colorado Mammoth - NLL • Boston: Fri Apr 16, 7:00 pm • Calgary: Fri Apr 23, 7:00 pm Colorado Rockies - MLB • NY Mets: Apr 13, 6:40 pm, Apr 14, 6:40 pm, and Apr 15, 1:10 pm • At Atlanta: Apr 16, 5:35 pm, Apr 17, 5:10 pm, and Apr 18, 11:35 am • At Washington: Apr 19, 5:05 pm, Apr 20, 5:05 pm, Apr 21, 5:05 pm, and Apr 22, 2:35 pm • Florida: Apr 23, 7:10 pm, Apr 24, 6:10 pm, and Apr 25, 1:10 pm • Arizona: Apr 26, 6:40 pm, Apr 27, 6:40 pm, and Apr 28, 1:10 pm • At San Francisco: Apr 30, 8:15 pm, May 1, 2:05 pm, and May 2, 2:05 pm Colorado Rapids - MLS • Toronto: Apr 18, 3:00 pm • At New England: Apr 24, 5:30 pm • At San Jose: May 1, 8:00 pm

APRIL 17-18

THE BUELL THEATRE (866) 464-2626 INFO: (888) 316-4234 TicketsWest.com / King Soopers ShenYunPerformingArts.org

Sponsored by The Denver Post Community, CBS4 & Tidbits - Denver Metro Area

When your financial obligations get too big...

Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.

$500 Bankruptcy

• Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment (303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529 www.MorseBankruptcy.com

Free Consultation

We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy

Payment Plans Available

Caroline’s Interior Consignments

Did You miss our SALE last week? Don’t worry - we have lots of items at GREAT PRICES Everyday! Just Received - items from Scientist: acid jars for electricity and related items - also trains. Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Closed Monday and legal holidays

10890 E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver (between Havana and Parker) (303) 337-8181

Don’t pay chain prices for Tax Preparation! Families & Individuals Small Business Tax Specialist

1040 - $68.95* 1040A - $43.95* 1040EZ - $25.95*

(*In office prices include 1040 form only, CO return & e-filing)

See our website for discounts available! www.afsnodebt.com Aurora Financial Services

Visit our new location on the NE Corner of Iliff & Peoria

(303) 745-3962

Superman had Foster Parents: Help a child in your community by becoming a licensed foster parent with Denver Area Youth Services. For more information please contact Sarah at 303-302-3263.


Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 6

Call (303) 688-1987 or email Info@TidbitsofDenver .com Today!

WEEKLY FUNNIES

Mental institution inmates are given a test to check their state of mind. The instructor draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They start rushing to the door, but one remains sitting. The instructor goes to him and asks, “Why didn’t you join the others?” He replies, “Let them fight -- they forgot I have the keys!” A salesman for a major cola company returns from his assignment in the Middle East and reports his assignment was a total failure. “Tell me what happened,” his boss says. “When I accepted the assignment,” replies the salesman, “I was confident I could turn a profit for the company there, since it was a brand new market and no one had ever tried our drink. But once I arrived, I realized that I had a problem: I didn’t speak their language.” “So what did you do?” the boss probes. “I decided to convey our message by using three posters. In the first, I showed a man crawling through the desert heat, exhausted and panting with thirst. The second poster shows the man having a drink of our cola. The final poster showed the man happy and totally refreshed. I had them plastered at every corner and in every market I could find.” “That should have worked,” the boss chimes in. “Why didn’t it?” “Well,” the salesman confesses, “not only did I not speak the language, but I also didn’t realize that most people in that country read from right to left.” Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?” Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.” Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?” Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal?” The food in China can be a challenge for newcomers. One example is that chicken is often served “cleaver style,” leaving the meat and bones chopped up together, making it difficult to eat. Years ago, I went with

a group of newcomers to a nice hotel to eat some hamburgers and normal Western food. One lady in our group, Marie, wanted to eat chicken without needing to spit out the bones, so she ordered “boneless chicken.” The waiter, whose English was quite good, could not imagine what Marie wanted. She was very insistent, saying, “I want boneless chicken. Chicken with no bones!” After more confusion and more insisting, the waiter finally said he understood, wrote something down, and returned to the kitchen. After about 15 minutes, our orders started coming out to the table. Marie’s food was the last to arrive, and when the poor waiter placed her dish in front of her, we all laughed out loud. It was a plate of fried eggs. Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched the small Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign that read: “Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service.” After explaining his needs, he said, “I’ll be back for my suit tomorrow.” “Won’t be ready until Saturday,” replied the proprietor. “But I thought you had 24-hour service,” the customer protested. “We do, son,” the proprietor said reproachfully. “But we only work eight hours a day. Today’s Thursday -- eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That’s 24-hour service.” You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let’s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words: “Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889.” Pretty grim situation, right? But let’s revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image, and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot. Next, we rewrite the text: “Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. “Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

WEEKLY ANSWERS

Issue #1133

By Samantha Weaver • It was 19th-century French author PierreJules Renard who made the following sage observation about his craft: “Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.” • Guinness, that notoriously dark and bitter Irish brew, contains fewer calories than skim milk or orange juice. Stout for breakfast, anyone? • Lawmakers in Phoenix once saw fit to make it illegal to walk through a hotel lobby while wearing spurs. • It’s hard to imagine what life was like before the widespread availability of refrigeration, isn’t it? Some people have decided to find out -- and you might be surprised at how many. Although 99.5 percent of all households in the United States have a refrigerator, that still means that more than 1.5 million households are fridge-less. • Swedish chemist and engineer Alfred Nobel, famed inventor of dynamite and originator of the Nobel Prizes, could speak five languages fluently by the time he was 17 years old. • Finland has more islands than any other country in the world. • Those who study such things claim that the hair on people of European descent tends to whorl in a counterclockwise fashion, while on most Japanese people it whorls in the opposite direction. • It seems that Warren G. Harding, the 29th president of the United States, was something of a gambler. During one hand of poker he bet the White House china -and lost it. • The Australia Zoo was recently the site of an attempted escape -- by a 137-pound orangutan named Karta. The ingenious primate evidently short-circuited the electric fence around her enclosure using a stick, then stacked up more sticks to climb over the fence. • The English word “gelatin” comes from the French for “edible jelly.” (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.

Thought for the Day: “What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?” -- Ursula K. Le Guin

Dog Of The Week

Need a new best friend?

Dunbar - 8-year-old, neutered male, purebred German shepherd with special needs. ID #A0546213 Cat Of The Week

Lisbeth - 3-year-old, spayed female, domestic, short-hair mix. ID #A0545028

Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl.org


Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

April 12, 2010

Save NOW! 303-916-6226

Call Today 303-916-6226

Locally and Family owned Quality 1st Plumbing provides 24 hr. plumbing and drain cleaning services to residential and commercial customers. Serving the five Denver metro area counties, including Douglas, Arapahoe, Jefferson, Adams, and Boulder. We are committed to providing fast, Quality service at a fair price. Our professionally trained Plumbing & Technicians will arrive quickly, usually within 2 hours from the time you call in most instances.

303-916-6226

Why Call Quality 1st Plumbing? • Same Day Quality Service! Your emergency is our emergency! We’ll get it Repaired CORRECTLY! • On-time Guarantee! We’ll be there when we promise or we’ll give you an instant $25.00 discount. Your time is valuable and we know it!

303-916-6226

• Guaranteed Results! We’ll solve your problem or there’s no charge! Conditions apply, please call for details. • “We are CERTIFIED GREEN PLUMBERS” We practice earth friendly plumbing practices. We can educate you on methods of water preservation and conservation. Whenever possible we use earth friendly materials and WE RECYCLE 16901 EVERYTHING! Dallas Parkway, #204 Addison, Tx 75001 www.AdMasters.com

MEDIA INSERTION ORDER

02

Media: National Thrifty Nickel

State: National

port

Section:

Size: 1 col x 1

Internet/Other Instructions:

Rate: $495.00 net

Dodson

Page 7

Email Classifieds@TidbitsOfDenver.com

Email: tom.dodson@admasters.com E D U C AT I O N

Display: X

Incolumn:

Posting:

Other:

303-916-6226

Call (303) 688-1987

Phone: 972-866-9300 x 1323

MISCELLANEOUS

1. U.S. STATES: What is the state capital of Michigan? Phone: 806-793-2500 cholson Email: tammy@lubbocktnol.com THE OCEAN Corp. 2005 CHEVY ADOPTION: 2. LANGUAGE: What would “turbid” WANTS TO 10840 Rockley Silverado Z71 4x4. WE are a water look like? Purchase minerals Road, Houston, Regular cab long Media Reps!! Do NOTsecure accept this I.O. if any rates, sizes or sections are incorrect. professional 3. AD SLOGANS: What company and other oil/gas Texasunless 77099.AdMasters Train Mediacouple accepts I.O.toas received, is notified by email. bed. LS Interior, 83k ready promoted its products with the slogan, ntact - Daniel Juarez, daniel.juarez@admasters.com, 1301 Send details for a New Career. miles,972-866-9300 5.3, auto, black ext.interest. love, protect and “Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from to: P.O. Box 13557, *Underwater with lots of chrome. create a life of the oven.” This Insertion Order in the amount of:ride! Denver, CO 80201 Welder.issued Commercial Sharp looking happiness for your Total Net: $495.00 4. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is Diver. *NDT/ Call 720-670-6435 infant. Let us help Total Gross: $582.35 the original of the international distress Weld Inspector. Email: larrycrum@ with all medical/ signal “mayday” ymail.com Placement INSTRUCTIONS: Send invoice indicating Job insertion order number and tearsheet (required for payment) PAT Ito: O DO O RS living expenses. 5. MEDICAL TERMS: What is the AdMasters, Media Payables, 16901 Dallas Parkway, Suite 204, Addison, TX 75001. Assistance. Financial Confidential/Legal. Phone: 972/866-9300 ext 1308 Fax:Aid 866/409-7685. Email: payables@admasters.com. HO ME common name for “epistaxis”? available for David Radis, RE MO DE L I NG Save 40%-70% d number of lines indicated on this insertion order.those When rates noted on this insertion order as gross, AdMasters will deduct 15% media commission from 6. SCIENCE: What is the chemical whoarequalify. order is incorrect Our in any attorney. way, do not accept it. Contact the Account Manager listed above to correct the information and request a new insertion order or to AAA rated by BBB element symbol for tungsten? 1-800-321-0298. resolve any other problems with this insertion order. Verbal transactions will notBath be accepted binding. Pros as and 800-637-2882 www. SOLAR G2010 AdMasters7. GEOGRAPHY: Where are the Faroe ters and are for use through AdMasters exclusively. Materials may not be used or reproduced by any other vendor or publication. © Copyright Remodeling radis-adopt.com EMPLOYMENT WINDOWS AND Islands located? Family Owned and DOORS 8. MOVIES: In “Star Wars,” where did A PHAT JOB! Locally Operated A U TOM O B ILE S Luke Skywalker grow up? (303) 758-1881 Now hiring 10- 15 All Phases of Call with your size sharp gals and guys. 9. FOOD & DRINK: What other spice is construction Do you need a car? requirements Must be 18 and similar in flavor to mace? Free Estimates No qualifying! free to travel United Call 720-266-9973 10. HISTORY: What type of gun was (303) 289-5600 States and resort used to assassinate President Abraham BathProsAnd Lockhardt Sales and areas. Two weeks Lincoln? Remodeling.com Leasing Answers paid training. Lots MEDICAL & HEALTH REPLACEMENT 1. Lansing of cash bonuses. WI NDO WS 2. Muddy or cloudy GET FIBROMYALGIA Call Renee, AUTO PARTS 3. Pillsbury RELIEF. Tried 1-720-984-7341 4. The French term “m’aidez” TOYOTA ENGINES. Save 40%-70% Everything But or “come (and) help me.” TRUCKS 22RE and 3VZE. AAA rated by BBB Still In Pain? Free 5. Nosebleed New 22RE heads. Fibromyalgia PAID CDL TRAINING SOLAR G 6. W Parting out Toyota DVD Guide. Call NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! WINDOWS AND 7. Halfway between Scotland 4RUNNERS and 303-758-0380 for DOORS Potential to and Iceland trucks. www. FREE DVD and Earn $40K 8. The planet Tatooine (303) 758-1881 Report. toyotatruckengine. First Year! 9. Nutmeg Call with your size http://www.myhawc. com 10. A derringer pistol 800-333-8595 requirements (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc. com 1-877-484-7888. BECOMEADRIVER.COM ADOPTION

EOE

TRUCKS


Page 8

Laugh Lines! Signs That You’ve Grown Up for Good...

• You keep more food than beer in the fridge. • 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. • You hear your favorite song in an elevator. • You watch the Weather Channel. • Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.” • You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. • Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.” • You’re the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo. • Older relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you. • You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. • Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. • You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers. • Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. • Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. • You take naps. • Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. • You go to the drug store for ibuprofen

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Issue #1133

Do you love Tidbits?

Make THOUSANDS of people happy each and every week while MAKING MONEY!!!

Tidbits Denver Metro Area is here to help you achieve your dreams -

Own Your own Tidbits Newspaper! • Financial Security with LOW INVESTMENT • Training for all aspects of the business • Assistance while you get started

Why are you waiting? NOW is the time to invest a little to gain a LOT!

Call or email NOW to begin the business of a life time

(303) 688-1987

Sales@TidbitsOfDenver.com Multiple Territories Available! Claim YOURS TODAY!!! and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. • You start reading manuals for products you buy for the first time in your life • Paul McCartney doesn’t look that old. • A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

• You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. • You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. • You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one.

Committed to Colorado Service Hours M-F 7:00 am - 6:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 5:00 pm

AR C E E FR WASHrvice ny Se W ith A

ICLE H E V FREE CTION INSPE Ser vice ny W ith A

5 $19.9 NGeE A H C OIL es All Mod ls k l Oils Extra All Ma Specia

t he Ar t f o State n Repair io Collis ility Fac

ates

stim Free E

www.MikeShawAuto.com

1080 S Colorado Denver CO 80246 Service: 303-691-1264

Sales: 303-691-1290

Used Car Blowout!

8,991 $ 2009 FORD FOCUS #P10869.....38k miles..... 10,999 2009 SATURN AURA #P10880.....34k miles.....$10,999 2006 MAZDA 6 #P10917A.....56k miles.....$11,888 2009 HYUNDAI SONATA #P10823...35k miles,,,,$12,997 2009 PONTIAC VIBE #P10858.....36k miles.....$14,997 2006 NISSAN MURANO #P10921A....8k miles...$14,998 2009 CHEVY MALIBU #P10913.....41k miles..... $15,997 2006 SAAB 9,3 #P10904.....41k miles.....$16,477 2009 NISSAN ALTIMA #10915.....37k miles.....$16,888 2010 PONTIAC G-6 #P10978.....11k miles.....$16,888 2008 SUBARU LEGACY #P10918....16k miles....$16,993 2009 HONDA CIVIC #P10914.....19k miles.....$17,777 2007 SATURN OUTLOOK #910058A.....67k miles....$17,888 2009 CHEVY IMPALLA #P10919.....28k miles.....$17,983 2007 SAAB 9,3 #P10717.....17k miles.....$17,997 2009 TOYOTA PRIUS #P10979.....31k miles.....$18,588 2009 SUBARU IMPREZA #P10970....6k miles....$18,881 2006 SATURN ION

Sales Hours M-F 8:30 am - 9:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 7:00 pm

#P10870.....31k miles.....

$

2008 MAZDA CX-7 #P10916.....39k miles.....$18,997 2009 CHRYSLER 300M #P10842A.....7k miles.....$19,888 2007 JEEPCOMMANDER #P10962.....30k mIles.....$19,991 2007 BUICK LUCERNE #P10931.....29k miles.....$20,777 2009 NISSAN MURANO #P10813.....40k miles....$20,888 2009 DODGE DURANGO #P10964...33k miles...$23,888 2009 CHRYSLER ASPEN #P10878.....37k miles.....$23,991 2009 SAAB 9,3 #p10791.....5200 miles.....$23,999 2007 DODGE 1500 #910024AA.....24k miles.....$24,888 2008 SAAB 9,7X #P10960.....22k miles.....$24,991 2007 LEXUS ES350 #910045A.....37k miles.....$24,998 2007 CHEVY TAHOE #P10961.....52k miles.....$26,888 2007 CHEVY SILVERADO #P10965.....22k miles.....$26,888 2007 CHEVYAVALANCHE #P10911.....41k miles.....$27,777

27,779 2010 CHEVY EQUINOX #P10876.....13k miles..... 27,998 2009 SAAB 9,5 #P10747.....1300 miles.....$29,999 2009 BUICK ENCLAVE #P10875.....27k miles.....$31,999 2007 SAAB 9,3 CONV

$ #P10902.....17k miles..... $

Not what you’re looking for, we have many more to choose from!

www.MikeShawAuto.com

1-888-CHEVROLET


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.