FREE
Denver Metro Area
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2007
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©2006
The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read
May 31, 2010
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
FOR ADVERTISING CALL (303) 688-1987
TIDBITS® GOES GREEN ON
World Environment Day by Rick Dandes
Chapter 7 or 13
Bankruptcy (303) 525-9531
www.coloradobklawyer.com email: nomoredebt@qwest.net
Hill law OffiCe, P.C.
lawrence R. Hill, attorney at law 1901 w. littleton Blvd. | littleton, CO 80120
20 years experience | affordable | fast | personal service weareadebtreliefagency.wehelppeoplefilebankruptcyundertheBankruptcyCode.
Proven Tips, Tools and Tactics To Make Money From Home Do you want to become a member of the world’s most elite club on the internet for making money?
From Mack Michaels: “This system makes me at least $171,168.06 per month and you can start using it 15 minutes from now!” For a FREE preview with videos - go to:
www.MaverickClubSite.com * * * * * *
Over 500 hours of video and audio The most complete coaching club online You can start at any skill level Live phone and email support Everything you need is in one place Work from the comfort of your home
ImmIgratIon attorneys
Professional, Effective, Innovative
Detentions & Bond Hearing, Withholding of Deportation, Immigration & Federal Courts Naturalization & Citizenship H1B Visas & Corporate Compliance Cancellation of Removal & Voluntary Departures Hardship Waivers & Adjustment of Status Employment and Family Based Green Cards - and more!
Tel: (303) 731-9708 (303) 261-7290 - Espanol website: www.EkaetteLaw.com 4643 S. Ulster St. Suite 800, Denver, CO 80237 Admissions: New York, England & Wales (UK)
World Environment Day, celebrated every year on June 5, was established by the United Nations General Assembly in 1972. The day is intended to stimulate awareness of issues affecting the environment and enhance political attention and public action. This week, Tidbits honors the day and goes green. • Albert Einstein won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921 for his groundbreaking experiments with solar power and photo voltaics.
Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
“A real pro gym for everyone”
MMA CARDIO boxing, kickboxing BOXING amateur boxing team JUI JITSU MUY THAI CROSSFIT Classes start as low as $49.99!
NOW OFFERING KIDS AND ADULT CLASSES Mention this ad and receive one free training class
A.T.T. ALTITUDE
11091 E MISSISSIPPI AVE, AURORA , 303-366-0629
Heirlooms
• Can “going green” create jobs? Absolutely. As an example, just look at Germany, where the solar industry has generated 10,000 jobs in production, distribution and installation.
Mall
1947 S. Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Sat 10-6 Sun Noon-5
• A world record was set in 1990 when a solar-powered aircraft flew across the United States in 21 stages, using absolutely no fuel at all. • Water is the most commonly used renewable energy resource, providing enough power to meet the needs of 28.3 million people. • Although pollutant levels in the early 1900s were two to five times higher than current levels, forests in the Pacific Northwest are dying twice as fast as they were 17 years ago, and scientists blame warming temperatures, according to a new study. • If you drink a can of beer after work and then toss it in the recycling bin, that one (aluminum) can saves enough energy to watch television for three hours after dinner. Of course, you’d save even more energy if you went out for a walk or read a good used book after dinner. Think of the paper and trees saved. • Yes, we can: There are over 80 billion soda cans used each year. Yes, that’s billion. And that’s just soda. Now, can you see the importance of recycling aluminum? continued on page 2!
Issue #1140
Do you suffer from: Type 2 Diabetes? Psoriasis? Breast Pain? Acne? Post-Menopausal Low Sex Drive? Horizons Clinical Research Center, LLC is conducting clinical research studies of investigational treatments for these conditions. As a participant in one of our research studies you will receive: - All clinic visits, lab assessments, medical exams, and investigational treatments free of charge - Also compensation for your time and travel
To learn more call 303.399.4067 or e-mail info@horizonscrc.com
Front Page Classifieds
Queen Pillowtop
New King
5-PC New Microfiber
Pottery Barn Style
A Brand New Queen Pillowtop Pillowtop Mattress Set Mattress Set with warranty. Foundation with Warranty. $255 $159. Delivery Available. Can Deliver. 303-758-1312 303-758-1312 Living Room Set. With warranty Beautiful New Panel $599 Can Deliver. Bedroom Set - $1799 Call - 303-758-1312 Stunning Espresso raised panel window frame. Solid wood New Leather Sofa In original carton with warranty. dovetailed drawers with felt lining, unique nickel hardware. $599 Can Deliver. 7-Piece Set includes Bed, 303-758-1312 Dresser, Mirror, Nightstand, and 5-Drawer Chest! Beautiful Cherry Formal List Price $5,800 sell: $1799 Dining Set - 8 Piece Call 303-758-1312 Table with leaf, 2 arm charis, 4 side chairs. NEW!!! All in original $599 Brand New All Wood boxes. All SOLID Hardwood! 5 PC Bedroom Set Lists for over $3000, must sell In box with manufacturer’s $899. Delivery available. Hutch warranty. Can Deliver. available. Call 303-758-1312 303-758-1312
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2 Affordable Estate Planning Services • Wills •Trusts •Probate • Powers of Attorney and Living Wills
Call now for your FREE consultation! (303) 758-9910 Derek N. White, Esq
1355 S Colorado Blvd, Ste 600
www.DWhiteLawPC.com
DerekW@DWhiteLawPC.com
World Environment Day (continued) • If you were to add up the amount of separate pieces of paper trash that each American throws away per year, it would be approximately 13,000 pieces of paper. A large percentage of this is packaging and junk mail. • An amazing fact: If you were to lay out all the paper that American businesses generate in just one day, that paper would be enough to circle the Earth about 20 times. • When a glass bottle is recycled, the process considerably cuts back on the air and water pollution that occurs when you create the bottle from raw materials. • Do it online? If American households went online to view and pay their bills, it would save over 16 million trees. Find out what services and options are available to you. • Recycle your newspapers whenever you can. Each year, 10 million tons (9.1 million kg) of newspaper are not recycled, but thrown away in landfills. If we changed this habit altogether, we could save up to 75 million trees. • Public transportation produces 95 percent less carbon monoxide (CO), 90 percent less volatile organic compounds (VOCs), and about half as much carbon dioxide (CO2) and nitrogen oxide (NOx), per passenger mile as private vehicles. Energy-related carbon dioxide emissions represent about 82 percent of the total U.S. humanmade greenhouse emissions. • Forty-nine percent of America’s electricity comes from burning coal. Sixty three percent of fossil fuel electricity comes from burning coal, 29 percent from burning natural gas and 9 percent from burning oil. • The combustion of fossil fuels supplies over 40 percent of the electricity the entire world uses. • It takes approximately 394 pounds (179 kg) of coal to keep a single 100-watt incandescent light bulb burning for 12 hours each day for one year. • For every 1 percent decrease in the Earth’s ozone layer, there is a 2 percent increase in the incidence of skin cancer in humans.
$%.6%2 -%42/ !2%!
The Neatest Paper Ever Read! Owned and operated by: Mountain View Publishing, LLC
For advertising or distribution information call or e-mail us today! Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
(303) 688-1987 www.TidbitsOfDenver.com
• Currently, conventional incandescent lamps are in the process of being replaced with more energy-efficient lamps. Fluorescent light has been used for many years in overhead fluorescent tubes without causing any problems. Nevertheless, certain “light sensitive” citizens’ associations have voiced concerns about c o m p a c t fluorescent lamps.
Issue #1140 • Did you know that Americans throw away approximately 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour? Meeting the nation’s demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually. That is enough to fuel an estimated 100,000 cars for a year. • How it all began: From the conservation movement at the beginning of the 20h century, there has been a steady progression. In the sixties the great concern centered on chemical pesticides. • Many believe the ecological movement was born with author Rachel Carson’s classic book, “Silent Spring.” • The ecology movement’s growth has been stimulated by a widespread acknowledgment of an ecological crisis on our planet.
• Every minute you cut from your shower is • Big Earth Day issues through the years: roughly 5 gallons (19 liters) of water saved. There was a great deal of concern over The less time your shower takes, the lower nuclear weapons and nuclear power in your impact on the environment. 1960s and 1970s; the big issue in the 1980s was acid rain; in the 1990s, ozone • Lighters are usually considered disposdepletion and deforestation; and now cliable so they will most likely end up in land mate change and global warming are the fills. You can use the cardboard matches biggest concerns for many. that are more eco-friendly because they are made of recyclable material. • Geothermal energy from the Earth is abundant. If we could utilize just 5 percent of the geothermal “wealth” we have here in the Unites States, we could supply the electricity needs for 260 million Americans. America’s population at the moment is right around 300 million. • If laundromats in the United States switched to front-loading machines, we could save a whole lot of water. If just one load of wash per day was washed by a front loader rather than a top-loading machine, we’d save 1 million gallons (3.8 million liters) of water a day. • America’s refrigerators use about 7 percent of the nation’s total electricity consumption, the output of about 25 large power plants.
May 31, 2010
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 3
We Clean Drains NOT Bank Accounts
• On May 31, 1859, the famous tower clock known as Big Ben, located atop the 320-foot-high St. Stephen’s Tower, rings out over the Houses of Parliament in Westminster, London, for the first time. Its famously accurate timekeeping is regulated by a stack of coins placed on the clock’s huge pendulum. • On June 2, 1924, President Calvin Coolidge signs the Indian Citizen Act, granting automatic American citizenship to Native Americans born in the United States. The law attempted to finalize Indian assimilation into white culture while permitting Indians to retain some of their tribal traditions. • On June 6, 1933, eager motorists park their automobiles on the grounds of Park-In Theaters in Camden, N.J., the first-ever drivein movie theater. Advertising it as entertainment for the whole family, Richard Hollingshead charged 25 cents per car and 25 cents per person, with no group paying more than one dollar. • On June 4, 1942, the Battle of Midway begins. During the four-day sea-and-air battle, the outnumbered U.S. Pacific Fleet succeeded in destroying four Japanese aircraft carriers while losing only one of its own, the Yorktown. • On June 3, 1956, in Santa Cruz, Calif., city authorities announced a total ban on rock and roll at public gatherings, calling the music “Detrimental to both the health and morals of our youth and community.” Two weeks later, Time magazine reported on similar bans enacted in Asbury Park, N.J., and San Antonio, Texas. • On June 5, 1968, Senator Robert Kennedy is shot at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles after winning the California presidential primary. Kennedy was shot several times by 22-year-old Palestinian Sirhan Sirhan. He died a day later. • On June 1, 1980, CNN (Cable News Network), the world’s first 24-hour television news network, makes its debut. The network signed on at 6 p.m. EST from its headquarters in Atlanta, with a lead story about the attempted assassination of civilrights leader Vernon Jordan.
(c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
Family owned and operated in the Denver area since 1940 We GUARANTEE our work!
(303) 571-5114
• • • • • • • •
Indoor & outdoor repairs Plumbing Drain-Cleaning All clogs Sewer Line Inspections Water heaters Heating & A/C Furnaces - AND MORE!
www.GarvinsSewerService.com
Your emergency can’t wait, why should you? 24/7 service with NO overtime charges EVER!
Web designer skip town? call 866-728-9125 www.sterndmb.com
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
Issue #1140
Superman had Foster Parents: Help a child in your community by becoming a licensed foster parent with Denver Area Youth Services. For more information please contact Sarah at 303-302-3263. » Roofing
We’ve Got You Covered!
» New or Repairs
FOR WEEK OF May 31, 2010
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might not like some people’s idea of a surprise. But you could be in for a pleasant shock when someone finally sends a reply to a request you made so long ago that you almost forgot about it. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s a time to expect the unexpected. So don’t be surprised if a decision that just recently seemed final suddenly opens up and leaves you with another chance to make an important choice. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Taking a different tack on a work project might rankle some colleagues. But the positive results of your innovative course soon speak for themselves. Celebrate with a fun-filled weekend. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Meeting new associates can be awkward, even if you’re in a high positive phase right now. Best advice: Make them feel comfortable, and you’ll soon forget your own discomfort. LEO (July 23 to August 22) It’s a good time for you social Lions to blow-dry your manes, polish your claws and look like the Fabulous Felines you are as you make new friends and influence the influential. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Expectations run especially high this week, and you should feel confident in your abilities to take advantage of what might be offered. A colleague has some advice you might find helpful. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A recent flurry of activity leaves you in need of a little breathing space, and you’d be wise to take it. Close family members should have an explanation about an emergency situation that just passed. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) An insensitive act makes a difficult situation more so. But try not to waste either your physical or emotional energies in anger. Move on and let others fill the clod in on the facts of life. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) It’s a good time to look into that training program or college course you’ve been considering. You might have a good place to use those sharpened skills sooner rather than later. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Education dominates much of your aspect during this week. You might want to start checking out those summer session courses that could help advance your career plans. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Progress often comes in fits and starts. But at least you’re moving straight ahead with no backsliding. You should soon be able to pick up the pace and reach your goals in due time. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Be wary of a deal that gives confusing answers to your questions. Remember: It’s always risky swimming in unknown waters, so you need all the help you can get to stay on course. BORN THIS WEEK: You have a way of bringing people together and creating close friendships wherever you go. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
Spring l! Specia uard af G
e Free L of or new ro y n a h wit ork gutter w
» Siding » Seamless Gutters » Exterior Remodeling
» Family Owned and Operated » Best Price!
Denver/Boulder
Dental Insurance Before you buy dental insurance, consider whether it will actually save you any money. Investigate a number of types of policies before you buy. Call your own dentist office to see what plans it accepts. Be sure the insurance company you’re considering has your dentist on its list. If you know you need work done, ask your dentist for a list and compare it to what the insurance will cover for each procedure. Consider the type of policy you want: • Traditional -- You pay a monthly premium and have a percentage of your costs covered. • Direct Reimbursement -- You pick any dentist and pay for the work, and the insurance company sends you a check. • In-Network -- You’re required to go to a dentist on the plan’s list, but you might not be charged extra fees because the policy dictates which dentist you see and how much the dentist can charge. Consider the level of coverage the plan offers: • Basic: Extractions, which might or might not cover root canals. • Major: Implants and bridges likely won’t be covered unless specified in the policy. • Preventive: Exams and cleaning are stan-
How to Eat an Elephant
Losing weight, toning and firming your body is a challenge - I want to help YOU!
Improve the quality of your life Look younger - Feel Better Be More Active... Let me help you make a difference today! Kim Sopoci personal fitness trainer www.KimSopoci.com (303) 690.3507
At DHR Home Repair we care about you and your home. Call today for your Free estimate! Licensed, Bonded and Insured We are your home’s best friend!
720-427-1254 303-905-3152 Fax: 888-378-0237
DHRHomeRepairs.com All major credit cards accepted. In home financing available no credit check!
dard, but extra services such a fluoride might not be covered. Read the fine print: • Policies don’t always agree on what is basic or major work. If you have a missing tooth and want to consider getting a bridge, it’s possible the plan won’t cover it because the tooth wasn’t in place when the policy started. • Is there a waiting period? Is it for all procedures, or just the more expensive ones such as crowns? • Is there a yearly maximum? Most companies cut off benefits at $1,000 per year. • Existing conditions? Chances are the policy won’t cover those. • Are emergencies covered? Be sure to do the math. Every year the deductible will reset. Add up your monthly premiums plus the deductible. That’s the amount you’ll pay on a yearly basis. If you don’t have a dentist, check the policy information for dentists in your area. Then call to find out which offices are taking new patients. Ask to be sure they’re still accepting that insurance, as not all of them will take a new patient. Find more information on the American Dental Association’s website: www.ada.org. Put “dental insurance” in the search box. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@ gmail.com.
When your financial obligations get too big...
Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.
$500 Bankruptcy
• Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment (303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529 www.MorseBankruptcy.com
We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy
Free Consultation Payment Plans Available
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
May 31, 2010
Free Events
Events FREE Shred Month: June 1 - June 30, 2010. Curbside Data Control Confidential Shredding is offering FREE shredding during the month of June! Shred hours are Monday - Friday, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Drop off your SHRED READY documents beginning June 1st at Curbside Data Control Confidential Shredding located at 15686 E Batavia Dr in Aurora. (303) 343.7096 VIP Opening: June 4, 2010 through June 5, 2010; 11:00 am - 8:00 pm. Water 2 Wine, The Ultimate Wine Experience. The Shops at Greenwood Village, 9608 E Arapahoe Rd, Greenwood Village. Chair massages, door prizes, dove release, Up to 25% off a case of wine during specific times. Call 303-799-WINE (9463) or visit online www. water2wine.com/dtc for more information about specific times for events Summer Art Market: June 12, 2010, through June 13, 2010, 10:00 am - 5:00 pm. West Washington Park Neighborhood on Grant Street between 2nd and 3rd Avenues and between Logan and Sherman Streets on 2nd Ave. This unique summer Art Market showcases over 250 artists displaying and selling paintings, drawings, sculpture, fine art prints, ceramics, and much more. Contact samvolunteers@asld. org or call Joy (303) 730-6012 Project C.U.R.E: June 21, 2010, 7:00 pm 9:00 pm, 10377 E Geddes Ave, Centennial. The South Metro Chamber has teamed up with Project C.U.R.E. and established a sorting session on the 3rd Monday of every month. Project C.U.R.E. is a non-profit that gathers unused medical supplies that would normally be thrown away. Those supplies are then sorted, boxed, and shipped to developing countries around the world in dire need of items as simple as latex gloves and sutures. www.TheBestChamber.com or call 303.795.0142. Arapahoe County Fair. July 21-25, 2010. 25690 E. Quincy Ave., Aurora. Family fun at an incredible value! Gate admission includes full access to rodeos, concerts, Extreme Canine dog shows, a petting zoo, face painting, craft stations, mutton bustin’ and more. Want rides? You’ll also find the best bargain of the summer for a wristband with unlimited carnival rides! Find out more and download a coupon at www. arapahoecountyfair.com or call 303-7954955. Toastmasters International: Every 1st and 3rd Monday of the month. Become the Speaker and Leader you want to be! 11:30 am - 12:30 pm, 6060 S Willow Dr, DTC. Contact Michelle at 720-987-3459. www.wrytoast.freetoasthost.com/index.html
Page 5
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science: Check web site for 2010 Free days. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny. 1275 19th St in Denver. 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave. 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Rockies - MLB • At San Francisco: May 31, 2:05 pm, Jun 1, 8:15 pm, and Jun 2, 8:15 pm • At Arizona: June 4, 7:40 pm, Jun 5, 6:10 pm, and Jun 6, 2:10 pm • Houston: Jun 7, 6:40 pm, Jun 8, 8:40 pm, Jun 9, 6:40 pm, Jun 10, 1:10 pm • Toronto: Jun 11, 7:10 pm, Jun 12, 6:10 pm, and Jun 13, 1:10 pm • At Minnesota: Jun 15, 6:10 pm, Jun 16, 6:10 pm, and Jun 17, 11:10 am • Milwaukee: Jun 18, 7:10 pm, Jun 19, 6:10 pm, and Jun 20, 1:10 pm • Boston: Jun 22, 6:40 pm, Jun 23, 6:40 pm, and Jun 24, 6:40 pm • Angels host: Jun 25, 8:05 pm, Jun 26, 8:05 pm, and Jun 27, 1:35 pm • At San Diego: Jun 28, 8:05 pm, Jun 29, 8:05 pm, and Jun 30, 1:35 pm
“The World Through A Child’s Eyes” Can be YOURS! The perfect book to read with your child. This acclaimed book written by Michael Brasier is perfect for children and adults alike who enjoy reading about different countries and adventures through the eyes of a child.
As Seen on Amazon.com Buy direct and save 20%!!!! Call now for your personal copy. (303) 688-1987 Author@Worlds-Eyes.com
“Most refreshing reading... This is an opportunity that many children do not get, but can now experience by reading this very interesting and delightful book.” Mrs. W. Craigg - Governor of The Central Bank of The Bahamas
Colorado Rapids - MLS • Columbus: Jun 5, 7:00 pm • At Chicago: Jun 9, 7:00 pm • At Houston: Jun 26, 6:30 pm • Red Bulls: July 4, 7:00 pm • At Toronto: July 10, 10:00 am • Wizards: July 17, 7:00 pm • Sounders host: July 25, 9:00 pm • Dallas: July 31, 2:00 pm
We have the insurance you need! Protect Your Family! • Health • Life
We’re here to help YOU!
Protect Your Home and Car! • Theft • Accident
Call Now! (303) 397-7830
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
Issue #1140
to give it a try. A little while later one says to the other, “Ya know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”“Yep,” the other added, “but we’re gittin’ further away from the truck....” Call (303) 688-1987 or email Info@TidbitsofDenver .com Today!
A wife had become so domineering that her husband insisted she see a psychiatrist. The wife consented, and the couple went to a doctor. The husband waited outside, and when his spouse emerged after the hourlong session, he asked, “Did you make any progress?”“Not much,” she replied. “It took me fifty minutes to convince that man that his couch would look better against the wall.”
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter’s strange eating habits. “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”“Eventually,” An airline captain was breaking in a new said the Doctor, “”she will rise and shine!” blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their A local charitable organization realized arrival, the captain showed the stewardess that the organization had never received the best place for airline personnel to eat, a donation from the town’s most successshop and stay overnight.The next morning, ful lawyer. The person in charge of contrias the pilot was preparing the crew for the butions called him to persuade him to conday’s route, he noticed the new stewardess tribute. “Our research shows that out of a was missing. He knew which room she was yearly income of at least $500,000, you give in at the hotel and called her up wondering not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to what happened. She answered the phone, give back to the community in some way?” crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her The lawyer mulled this over for a moment room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the and replied, “First, did your research also captain asked, “Why not?”The steward- show that my mother is dying after a long illess replied: “There are only three doors in ness, and has medical bills that are several here,” she sobbed. “One is the bathroom, times her annual income? ”Embarrassed, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it the United Way rep mumbled, “Um ... no.” The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!” disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a Grandpa and granddaugher were sitting wheelchair?” The stricken United Way rep talking when she asked, “Did God make began to stammer out an apology, but was you, Grandpa?”“Yes, God made me,” the interrupted again. “or that my sister’s husgrandfather answered. A few minutes later, band died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s the little girl asked him, “Did God make me voice rising in indignation, “leaving her pentoo?”“Yes, He did,” the older man answered. niless with three children?!” The humiliated For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to United Way rep, completely beaten, said be studying her grandpa, as well as her own simply, “I had no idea... ”On a roll, the lawreflection in the mirror, while her grandfa- yer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give ther wondered what was running through any money to them, why should I give any her mind. At last she spoke up. “You know, to you?” Grandpa,” she said, “God’s doing a lot betA nursery school teacher was delivering ter job lately.” a station wagon full of kids home one day Two Redneck hunters were dragging their when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in dead deer back to their pickemup truck. An- the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmaother hunter approached pulling his along tian dog. The children began discussing the too. “Hey,” says the lone hunter, “I don’t dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds want to tell you how to do something... but I back,” said one youngster. “No,” said ancan tell you that it’s much easier if you drag other, “he’s just for good luck.” A third child the deer in the opposite direction. Then the brought the argument to a close. “They use antlers won’t dig into the ground.” After the the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire lone hunter left, the two Rednecks decided hydrant.”
WEEKLY FUNNIES
WEEKLY ANSWERS
By Samantha Weaver
• It was British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli who made the following observation: “My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.” • Hunters, take note: The largest deer that ever lived was the Irish elk, which became extinct more than 7,000 years ago. Though it stood a remarkable 7 feet tall at the shoulders, the creature’s most amazing characteristic was its antlers, which could stretch 12 feet from tip to tip and weigh up to 90 pounds. Imagine that rack hanging on your living-room wall! • If you are a parent, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that among the under-18 crowd, strawberries are the favorite fruit, followed closely by grapes and bananas. • Google Earth, the virtual geographic information program, isn’t just a fun thing to fiddle with on your computer; it can be a law-enforcement tool, too. Just last year, police in Switzerland noticed a cornfield that looked a bit odd; it turns out that the farmer was raising marijuana and had hidden the two-acre plot within his corn fields. • The koala bear, that cute and cuddly icon of Down Under, never drinks water. The critters get all the water they need from the food they eat. • Medical experts say that coconut water has the same pH and electrolyte balance as human blood. In fact, during World War II, doctors who were running low on supplies used coconut water in plasma transfusions. • In 2002, in an effort to be more environmentally friendly, Ireland decided to try to reduce the use of plastic grocery bags by levying a 15-cent tax on each one. It worked, too -- use of the bags dropped by 95 percent. (c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: Thought for the
Day: “Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.” -- Roger Miller
Dog Of The Week
Need a new best friend?
Austin - 10-month-old, spayed female, tricolor, Australian Kelpie mix with special needs. ID #A0549009 Cat Of The Week
Bailey - a 3-year-old, spayed female, long-haired cat. ID #A0549046
Dumb Friends League Call to adopt one of 2080 South Quebec St. these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
May 31, 2010
Email Classifieds@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Call (303) 688-1987
ADOPTION
E D U C AT I O N
MISCELLANEOUS
ADOPTION: WE are a professional secure couple ready to love, protect and create a life of happiness for your infant. Let us help with all medical/ living expenses. Confidential/ legal. David Radis Our attorney 800-637-2882 www. radis-adopt.com
THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a New Career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/ Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid available for those who qualify. 1-800-321-0298.
GET DISH - FREE Installation-$19.99/ mo HBO & Showtime FREE- Over 150 HD Channels Lowest Prices-No Equipment to Buy! Call for Full Details 877-883-5725
A U TOM O B ILE S Do you need a car? No qualifying! (303) 289-5600 Lockhardt Sales and Leasing
EM PLOYM ENT
E MP LOY ME NT
IMMEDIATE OPENINGS! Sales Positions
Advertising Sales Representatives needed for “The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read!” Metro wide territories available. Commission Only! Must have own car. Training provided. Contact: HR@ TidbitsOfDenver. com
FASTER INTERNET! No Access to Cable or DSL? NO PROBLEM! Get High-Speed Satellite Internet. HURRY! Call NOW for a LIMITED TIME OFFER! WildBlue 1-888-808-0534
FREE 6-ROOM DISH Network Satellite System! FREE HDDVR! $19.99/ mo (1 year.) Call Now - $400 Signup BONUS! 1-888-680-3359
Page 7
ME DI CAL & HE ALT H SAVE $500! Viagra! 40 Pills $99.00Satisfaction Guaranteed!!! Open Saturday ! Hablamos Espanol! Credit Card required www. newhealthyman. com1-888-735-4419 STEEL/STORAGE BUI L DI NG S STEEL BUILDINGS: 5 only 16x24, 25x36, 30x40, 40x54, 50x110. Must Move Now! Selling for Balance Owed! Free Delivery! 1-800-211-9593 x162 AUTO PARTS TOYOTA ENGINES. 22RE and 3VZE. New 22RE heads. Parting out Toyota 4RUNNERS and trucks. www. toyotatruckengine. com 1-877-484-7888.
1. U.S. PRESIDENTS: During which president’s administration was the Thanksgiving holiday officially declared to be the fourth Thursday in November? 2. FOOD & DRINK: In the preparation of food, what is a garde-manger? 3. GEOGRAPHY: What body of water does the Danube River flow into? 4. ADVERTISING CHARACTERS: What was the name of the grocery-store manager who told customers: “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” tissue? 5. TELEVISION: What the name of Radar O’Reilly’s hometown in the TV show “M*A*S*H”? 6. POLITICS: “Wobblies” belong to what group established in the early 20th century? 7. RELIGION: What group of people celebrated the ancient holiday of Samhain, which later became Halloween? 8. LANGUAGE: What is something that can be described as “quadripartite”? 9. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What about the Basenji dog makes it unique? 10. HISTORY: What was the name of the German mercenaries who fought for the British in the Revolutionary War? Answers
1. Franklin D. Roosevelt 2. A cook who specializes in preparing cold salads, meat or fish 3. Black Sea 4. George Whipple 5. Ottumwa, Iowa 6. Industrial Workers of the World 7. Gaelic cultures 8. Divided into four parts 9. It doesn’t bark 10. Hessians
(c) 2010 King Features Synd., Inc.
Page 8
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Issue #1140
“A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.” - Albert Einstein
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” - Albert Einstein
Committed to Colorado Service Hours M-F 7:00 am - 6:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 5:00 pm
AR C E E FR WASHrvice ny Se W ith A
ICLE H E V FREE CTION INSPE Ser vice ny W ith A
5 $19.9 NGeE A H C OIL es All Mod ls k l Oils Extra All Ma Specia
t he Ar t f o State n Repair io Collis ility Fac
ates
stim Free E
www.MikeShawDenver.com
1080 S Colorado Blvd Denver CO 80246 Service: 303-691-1264
Sales: 303-691-1290
Sales Hours M-F 8:30 am - 9:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 7:00 pm
CLEAN Pre-Owned Purchases!
2005 BUICK RENDEZVOUS#P10977...63kmiles.$12,999
9,997 2004 CADILLAC ESCALADE #P11008...66kmiles...$23,888 2009 CHEVY MALIBU #P10913.....41k miles..... $13,999 2006 CHEVY AVEO #P10921A.....59k mIles.....$6,997 2007 CHEVY MONTE CARLO#P11024.....59kmiles.....$10,999 2010 CHEVY EQUINOX #P10892.....12k miles.....$24,998 2006 CHEVYSILVERADO #910008A...42k miles....$19,884 2003 CHEVY VENTURE #910062A.....76k miles.....$6,994 2002 CHEVY TAHOE Z-71 #910063A................$10,999 2009 CHRYSLER SEBRING #P11011...34k miles....$13,888 2009 DODGE CALIBER #P10976.....37k miles.....$12,595 2009 DODGE GRD CARAVAN#P10995..37kmiles...$17,441 2009 DODGE RAM 1500 #P11023.....26k miles.....$26,888 2010 FORD FUSION #P11012.....21k miles....$19,771 2009 GMC YUKON XL #P11022.....48k miles.....$34,777 2009 HONDA CIVIC #P11013.....24k miles.....$15,888 2008 HONDA ODYSSEY #P11020.....36k miles..... $27,977 2005 BUICK LESABRE
#P11009.....47k miles.....
$
20087 HUMMER H-3 #P11015.....66k miles.....$17,777 2007 JEEP LIBERTY #CS101....44k miles....$12,999 2009 JEEP GRD CHEROKEE #P10983..29kmiles...$22,888 2008 JEEP COMMANDER #P11010A...54k miles...$17,884 2009 LINCOLN TOWN CAR #P11003....28k miles.....$27,888 $ 2005 MAZDA 3 #810055AA................... 10,999 2007 NISSAN ALTIMA #P11018A.....53k miles....$14,777 2009 NISSAN CUBE #P10996.....24k miles.....$15,998 2010 PONTIAC G6 #P10978.....11k miles.....$14,999 2009 PONTIAC G5 #CS104...9k miles,,,,$12,888 2009 SAAB 9,3 #P10786.....4k miles.....$22,999 2007 SAAB 9,3 CONV #P10902.....17k miles.....$26,999 2007 SAAB 9,3 COMBI #P10932....39k miles....$16,887
2009 SATURN OUTLOOK XR #P11025..28k miles..$29,997
15,999 2007 TOYOTA TUNDRA 26,777 2009 TOYOTA VENZA #P11001.....3k miles.....$27,989 2009 VW JETTA #P10997.....35k miles.....$15,888 2009 TOYOTA PRIUS
#P10979.....31k miles.....
$ #P11007....24k miles....
Not what you’re looking for, we have many more to choose from!
www.MikeShawDenver.com
$
1-888-CHEVROLET