PrimeTime - December 2017

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December 2017

Pr i m e Ti m e December 2017 1944 Warwick Ave. Warwick, RI 02889 401-732-3100 FAX 401-732-3110 Distribution Special Delivery PUBLISHERS Barry W. Fain, Richard G. Fleischer, John Howell MARKETING DIRECTOR Donna Zarrella donnaz@rhodybeat.com Editor / Creative Linda Nadeau lindan@rhodybeat.com WRITERS / CONTRIBUTORS Ethan Hartley, Don Fowler, Elaine M. Decker, Meg Chevalier, Larry Grimaldi, Mike Fink, Charlie Nardozzi Jennifer Coates, PRODUCTION Lisa Bourque Yuettner Brian Geary ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Donna Zarrella – donnaz@rhodybeat.com Bob Giberti, Lisa Mardenli, Janice Torilli, Suzanne Wendoloski Classified ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Sue Howarth – sueh@rhodybeat.com

inthisissue

holiday cheer 4

5

6 8 8

Don Fowler reviews the classic

have never been seen before

Perfect Gifts 18

Something for everyone on your list

Arts for Gifts

Giving the gift of arts for the holidays

Senior issues Alzheimer’s Association............................7 Retirement Sparks.....................................17

Healthy Holidays

Hacks for a healthy season

LIFESTYLES Larry Grimaldi...............................................14 What Do You Fink......................................16

Elves for Elders

The Christmas Giving Tree

Professional Perspective

Unusual Gifts

Plants keep on giving all year Like

A Joint Publication of East Side Monthly and Beacon Communications.

Pillars of Light 12

Lighthouses like they

A Christmas Carol

us on

Facebook

Your Taxes.......................................................16

– On the Cover –

Marshmallow Man! Directions on Page 15

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December 2017

PrimeTime |

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

by DON FOWLER

Trinity’s

‘A Christmas Carol’

Fresh & Magical After 40 Years I have been reviewing Trinity Rep’s “A Christmas Carol� every year for the past 40 years, and I always find something new and original from the director and the actor portraying Scrooge.

I have marveled at portrayals by the late Richard Kneeland, Timothy Crowe, Brian McEleney, Anne Scurria‌the list goes on and on.

And then there is Joe Wilson, Jr., one of Trinity’s true treasures, who has dug deep and found a fresh approach to one of the theatre’s greatest roles.

The directors (Yes, there are two: Angela Brazil and Stephen Thorne) have found a way to keep the tradition of Adrian Hall and Richard Cumming alive, while breathing a lot of fresh air into the production.

I can’t remember the play being done in the round, although it usually spreads out into and over the audience.

Brazil/Thorne make it work to their advantage with a couple of overhead surprises and lots of trap doors.

The scenes shift from colorful to

dark, complete with singing, dancing, snow, a bell choir, and some pretty scary “Christmas Yet To Come� spirits.

Anne Scurria sets the tone with her spritely Ghost of Christmas Past, and newcomer Orlando Hernandez does some dazzling tap moves as the Ghost of Christmas Present.

This year there’s only a Mrs. Fezziwig (and Daughters) with Rachael Warren filling the role and adding her beautiful voice in many other spots.

The Turkey Boy is a girl this year, and she is delightful. There are two casts of children. We saw Sofia Borges in the red cast.

Standouts also include Rebecca Gibel as Scrooge’s laundress and John Nobel Barrack as Bob Cratchit. The Cratchit family doesn’t get as much stage time as previous productions, with a couple of familiar scenes cut or shortened.

Added to all the pluses in this production is the performance of Joe Wilson, Jr. as Scrooge. I admit that I have never seen a “bad� Scrooge at Trinity, but I’ve never

Left to right: Rachael Warren as Solicitor, Janice Duclos as Solicitor, and John Noble Barrack as Ensemble in A Christmas Carol, directed by Angela Brazil and Stephen Thorne. Costume design by Toni Spadafora, set design by Michael McGarty, lighting design by Dawn Chiang. (Photo Mark Turek) seen one who completely caught the essence of the bitter old miser as we watch his transformation and redemption.

Laughing and crying are two difficult challenges for any actor, and Joe transitions them in a scene that defines his acting talents.

Artistic Director Curt Columbus added a new dimension to this year’s production by engaging 18 non-profit groups to blend into the finale with a rousing and inspirational carol sing at

the end. Each group will perform in three shows, with each adding their own touch. And Tiny Tim (Joshua Pacheco or Lyndsie Lapierre) is there to “God Bless Us Everyone�. “A Christmas Carol� continues at Trinity through New Year’s Eve. If this production doesn’t get you in the holiday spirit, nothing will. Call 351-4242 for reservations.

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December 2017

Arts

lifestyles

Consider the for Christmas Cheer It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and what better way to bring Christmas cheer tha by giving the arts as a gift Not only will you bring pleasure to friends and relatives, you will also help an arts organization, and possibly introduce someone to the world of arts and entertainment.

4. The Providence Performing Arts Center offers three choices for gifts in January.

“The Bodyguard-The Musical, based on the hit film and featuring one of the biggest selling songs of all time, “I Will Always Love You”, and featuring Grammy Award nominee Deborah Cox, will be at PPAC January 9-14, followed by the Emelio and Gloria Estafan musical, “On Your Feet, January 30-February 4.

Here are seven possibilities: 1. A pair of tickets to Gamm Theatre’s “Uncle Vanya” by Russian playwright, Anton Chekhov, one of the classic plays of all time.

Trinity’s Artistic Director, Curt Columbus will direct the timeless tragicomedy, which runs the entire month of January. Call 723-4266 for reservations.

5. You can also please someone with tickets to The Illusionists, the world’s best selling magic show, January 19-21. Call 421-ARTS. For information and tickets.

2. Tickets to the Saturday, January 20 concert of the Rhode Island Philharmonic at 8:00 p.m. at Vets Guest conductor Ken-David Masur will lead the orchestra in Tchaikovsky’s Fourth Symphony, Brahms Tragic Overture, and Britten’s “Serenade for Tenor (Anthony Dean Griffey), Horn (Kevin Owen)and strings. Call 248-7000 for tickets.

7. Young adults on your list will enjoy the work being done by the Burbage Theatre Company. In January they will be doing David Ives’ funny, erotiv drama, “Venus in Fur”. Call 484-0355 for information and reservations.

3. For salsa lovers on your list, buy tickets to salsa legend and six time Grammy winner, Gilberto Santa Rosa on Sunday, February 4 at 7:30 p.m. at Cranston’s Park Theatre. Call 467-7275 to order.

December 2017

6. For Chamber Music lovers, the Muir String Quartet, featuring guest flutist Carol Wincenc, performs at Rhode Island College’s Sapinsley Hall on Monday, February 12 at 7:30.

For those special folks on your list, you may want to offer Dinner and a Show, with a gift certificate to one of the many fine restaurants in our state.

PrimeTime |

holiday cheer

Hacks for healthier holiday entertaining Decadent meals are often part of celebrations, but for those looking for a healthier holiday, it can feel like you must choose between your nutrition goals and the foods you love.

Swearing off your favorite seasonal foods could make you feel like a Scrooge, but a few simple cooking and entertaining hacks will let you enjoy the treats you love while keeping your health top of mind.

Amazing appetizers It might seem counterintuitive, but eating before a big meal can be a smart step for healthy living. Try creating a crudité platter with a variety of fresh veggies. If you make dip, swap mayonnaise and sour cream for Greek yogurt, which provides similar flavor and texture without the calories. Fill up on this healthy pre-meal snack and you’ll eat less during dinnertime.

Better baking Replace half the sugar in baking recipes with Stevia In The Raw Bakers Bag, a zero calorie sweetener made with extracts from the sweet leaves of the stevia plant.

By keeping half of the regular sugar, you still achieve the proper browning, rising and caramelizing only sugar can provide, but the swap allows you to cut calories without sacrificing sweetness. In fact, up to 700 calories are saved for every cup of sugar that is swapped out. Baking with Stevia In The Raw Bakers Bag is a simple hack for baking any time of year, as it is formulated so that 1 cup has the same sweetness as 1 cup of sugar - so no conversion is needed.

Great gravy Gravy is a staple at holiday feasts, but it’s also heavy in calories and fat. If you’re making homemade gravy, try putting it into the refrigerator before serving. As gravy chills, the fat collects at the top and you can skim it off before rewarming and serving to guests. When eating, resist the urge to dump gravy over everything on your plate. A light drizzle on potatoes and meat provides plenty of flavor.

Petite plates One of the simplest healthy entertaining tricks has nothing to do with food and more to do with psychology. Whether you use a big or small plate, people tend to fill the whole thing up. So instead of those grand China dishes, use moderately sized plates and you’ll likely end up eating less. Your eyes will see a full plate and your belly will be satisfied.

Have you been tasked with creating a holiday dessert, but want a healthier option that will still please everyone’s sweet tooth? Be inspired by this recipe that features two classic holiday flavors: chocolate and peppermint.

Chocolate Peppermint Truffle Tart Ingredients Cookie Crust: 9 ounces chocolate wafer cookies 5 tablespoons butter, melted 1 tablespoon Sugar In The Raw 1 tablespoon Stevia In The Raw

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Whipped Cream: 1/2 cup heavy cream 2 teaspoons Sugar In The Raw 1 teaspoon Stevia In The Raw

Chocolate-Peppermint Filling 12 ounces unsweetened chocolate, roughly chopped 5 tablespoons cold butter, cut into cubes 1 1/4 cup heavy cream 3/4 cup Sugar In The Raw 3/4 cup Stevia In The Raw 1 1/2 teaspoons peppermint extract Preparation: Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease a 9-inch round springform pan with removable bottom and sides. In the bowl of a food processor, pulse chocolate cookies until fine. Transfer to a bowl and stir in melted butter, Sugar In The Raw and Stevia In The Raw until well combined. Press mixture into bottom and up the sides of pan. Bake crust until firm, about 5 minutes. Remove from oven and cool.

In a medium bowl, add chocolate and butter. In a small saucepan bring cream, Sugar In The Raw and Stevia In

The Raw to a boil, whisking constantly until Sugar In The Raw and Stevia In The Raw are completely dissolved. Pour cream over the chocolate and butter and whisk until chocolate has melted. Stir in peppermint and pour into crust. Chill at least one hour.

In a large bowl beat cream, Sugar In The Raw and Stevia In The Raw on high speed until stiff peaks form, about 1 minute. Keep refrigerated until ready to serve tart.

Slice tart, top with whipped cream and dust with cocoa powder.

December 2017

senior

b y M ichelle L a F rance a lzheimer ’s asso c i a t i o n r h o d e i s l a n d c h a p te r

issues

Reducing holiday stress when living with Alzheimer’s Holidays are a time for families to rejoice in laughter and reflect on happy memories. The mix of holiday festivities and dementia, however, make for an interesting brew. For families coping with Alzheimer’s, the holidays can be bittersweet times, filled with stress and frustration. Festivities can agitate, confuse, and over stimulate persons with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. Meanwhile, caregivers can feel anxious, frustrated, and lonely - leading to stress and depression.

It is easy to become distracted from the spirit of celebration by worrying about reducing a loved one’s anxiety, or protecting everyday routines at events that are anything but routine. This all takes some thinking and planning.

Dementia care relates to this spirit: looking after one another in difficult times, because this honors the best in us. The magic lies in having some fun while we’re at it! Many families choose to continue long-standing traditions that reassure them family life is larger than dementia.

Loved ones with Alzheimer’s may be comforted by familiar patterns and find delight in the vitality of the young. On the other hand, others plan around needs of the person with dementia in order to reduce the risk of frustration and blame.

The Alzheimer’s Association tells families that with some planning and adjusted expectations, the holidays can still be happy and memorable for everyone.

A few tips from the Association include: • Make sure others know: Let guests know what to expect before they arrive and tell them how they can help. For example, what activities can they do with the person with Alzheimer’s or how best to communicate with them.

• Take care of yourself: Try to make these celebrations easy on yourself and with the person with Alzheimer’s disease so that you may concentrate on enjoying your time together. Set limits by telling family and friends that you intend to control stress this holiday season. Ask for assistance for you and your loved one. Attend an Alzheimer’s Association support group that will allow you to discuss ways to overcome holiday stress. Prepare to deal with post-holiday letdown. Arrange for in-home care (respite care) so you can enjoy a movie or lunch with a friend and reduce post-holiday stress.

• Build on traditions and memories: Take time to experiment with new traditions that might be less stressful or a better fit with your caregiving responsibilities. For example, if evening confusion and agitation are a problem, turn your holiday dinner into a holiday lunch.

• Involve the person with Alzheimer’s: Depending on abilities and preferences, make sure to keep the person with Alzheimer’s involved in the celebrations, such as packing cookies in tins or helping wrap gifts.

• Plan ahead: When attending a holiday party, prepare the host for special needs, such as a quiet room for the person to rest in away from the noise and distractions.

The Alzheimer’s Association is here for you during this holiday season through our 24/7 Helpline which provides reliable information and support to all those who need assistance. Call us toll-free anytime day or night at 1.800.272.3900.

The Helpline will be open all Christmas day and New Years’ day, as well as year round. Lastly, be reminded that the holidays are a rest point between past struggles and an uncertain future. Enjoy the moment!

The Alzheimer’s Association is the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Our mission is to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer’s. Visit alz.org/ri or call 800.272.3900.

December 2017

For families coping with Alzheimer’s, the holidays can be bittersweet but with some planning it can also be a fun and joyous time too

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holiday cheer

Make a Seniors Holiday Special

Elves for Elders

Sponsored by Seniors RULE (Resources Unlimited – Liaisons for Elders) The holiday season can be lonely for many people, especially elderly people living in nursing and assisted living homes. Elves for Elders gives gifts to seniors in various facilities across the state who might not otherwise receive a gift for the Holiday Season.

The giving trees went up in November at the customer service desk are various locations. A star ornament with the senior’s first name and gift idea (example: Mary – slippers – size 8) go on the star. Take a star, purchase the gift and bring it, along with a gift bag, back to the service desk.

This year we have trees at the following locations: Emerald Square Mall, Warwick Mall, Wrentham Premium Outlets & more The giving trees come down on Monday, December 11. Our ‘elves’ collect the gifts, pack them in bags, sort and deliver them to the appropriate facility. Please call Maxine at 401-286-3821 or a full list of locations and any questions.

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holiday cheer

Holiday

Unusual Gift Plants It’s the holiday season, and for the gardener in the family the gift of choice often is a holiday plant. Over the years I’ve given and received my share of poinsettias, amaryllis, and Christmas cacti as gifts this time of year. While these colorful indoor plants are standards, this year why not push the envelope a bit when buying a holiday plant.

Here are some unusual holiday plants that should be available at your local garden center or florist shop.

Miniature Roses. These diminutive roses produce flowers for weeks in a wide range of colors on plants that grow 5 inches to 3 feet tall, depending on the variety. Even though they won’t flower all winter without artificial lighting, they are worth saving until spring.

Keep the plants humid by periodically misting the foliage and placing pots on pebble trays filled with water. In spring move them outdoors and they’ll flower all summer.

Edible Plants. The holidays are known for eating. Why not contribute to the food parade by giving a gift of a perennial herb, such as rosemary, or an attractive edible, such as dwarf peppers?

Rosemary plants grow best in bright light. Mist them periodically throughout the winter and water just enough to keep the soil slightly moist. Once the threat of frost has passed in spring, transplant rosemary into a window box, container, or herb garden.

Ornamental Christmas peppers, such as ‘Riot’, grow on compact 1-foot-tall plants that feature yellow, orange, and red edible fruits. In spring when the fruits have dried up, cut back the plant dramatically and plant it outdoors. Water and fertilize it well and it will revive to flower and fruit again.

Moth Orchid. One of the trendiest houseplants is a moth orchid (Phalaenopsis). This is the easiest type of orchid to grow indoors.

There are many different colors of flowers, and the plants only require bright, indirect light and normal room temperatures to thrive. The flowers can last for months --

much longer than poinsettia or Christmas cactus blooms.

Christmas Rose. Christmas rose (Hellebore) is a perennial flower that’s more commonly found in garden centers than in florist shops. Some selections do bloom around Christmas, but even if it’s not in flower when you give this gift, the dark green foliage makes it a handsome choice. As soon as the ground thaws, plant your hellebore in a partly shaded spot on well-drained soil and your holiday gift will be enjoyed for years.

Orchid Cactus. While Christmas cactus is a common holiday gift plant, there’s another type of cactus that’s even more flamboyant. The orchid cactus (Epiphyllum) is related to the Christmas cactus (neither are true cacti) and grows in similar conditions; however, these plants produce large, flat, fleshy leaves and huge flowers. Although they may not be in bloom at the holidays (they tend to bloom later in winter and spring), these easy-to-grow plants will still wow your friends with the 6-inchlong, colorful, orchid-shaped blooms.

Charlie Nardozzi, a nationally recognized garden writer, book author, speaker and radio and television personality, has appeared on HGTV, PBS and Discovery Channel television networks.

December 2017

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December 2017

This fascinating and heart-warming documentary visits the unique men who embrace the Christmas spirit year-round. Some have worn the red suit for decades, and some - in one local story from Bristol, RI have worn it for generations!

Thu, Dec. 21 at 8 p.m.

Sat, Dec. 23 at 11 p.m.

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Photo: Third-Generation Santa Michael Rielly of Bristol, RI

PrimeTime |

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December 2017

business Spotlight

Morgan Health Center A Health Concepts™ Nursing & Rehabilitative Center in Johnston

By Jennifer Coates December is a busy month for the close-knit community of residents and staff at Morgan Health Center. The festivities begin on December 1st with the center’s popular Annual “Bake Sale” and culminate with a special catered “Holiday Cheer” event for the residents’ families and friends. Keepsake family ornaments are hung, music fills the air and favorite holiday treats are served to toast this season of gift-giving and tradition. It is a joyful time of celebration!

Residents of Morgan Health Center, located in the peaceful, shady Thornton neighborhood of Johnston, enjoy full lives here, even as they enter the later seasons of their lives. This is a place where they can feel at home and engaged in life, especially when they are no longer able to live safely and independently in their own homes.

This 120-room facility, a Health Concepts™ Nursing and Rehabilitative Center, is home to residents who receive both long-term, skilled nursing care and those who are recovering from a short-term condition such as a surgery, cardiac event, injury or stroke.

The rehabilitation services at Morgan Health Center are comprehensive and allinclusive. An experienced team of Occupational, Physical and Speech therapists offer a full range of skilled services for those seeking care following falls and surgeries, or for those with chronic respiratory challenges such as COPD. Their singular goal is to help their patients return as quickly as possible to the highest practical level of independence.

There is also a whole separate and secure wing at Morgan for those with memory loss challenges including dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. All activities in the dementia unit are designed by the devoted staff to maximize memory function. The latest research-backed and innovative programs are implemented to improve the resident’s quality of life. The staff who serve this community receive special, ongoing training so that they can best address the continuum of needs of those who are in the early to end stages of dementia. It is a caring, compassionate and involved team.

The comfortable and familiar atmosphere felt here at Morgan has not come about by accident; it is the direct result of an intentional and deliberate effort made by the center’s entire staff to make this community as welcoming, happy and safe as it is.

From the multi-disciplinary therapy team in the center’s recently renovated therapy room to the caring nurses and CNA’s who tend to each resident, to the enthusiastic team in the admission’s office, Morgan Health Center is a place where residents feel cared for, protected and valued.

Every aspect of their lives is planned for, from their physical health to their social and emotional well-being.

If you or an elderly parent is seeking skilled nursing care, including memory-care, or short-term rehabilitative services, visit Morgan Health Center, located on 80 Morgan Avenue in Johnston. To learn more and to tour the facility, contact Director of Admissions Erin Campbell at 401-944-7800. Check them out at www.healthconceptsltd.com.

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December 2017

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PrimeTime | 11

Pillars of Light, as Seen

by Night Point Judith Light in Narragansett, RI

Southeast Light on Block Island

Conimicut Light in Warwick, RI

12 | PrimeTime

Hendricks Head Light is in Southport, Maine

December 2017

holiday cheer

b y ethan hartley

Photographer publishes first book of lighthouses like they’ve never been seen

December 2017

great gift idea!

David Zapatka leafs through the proof of a softcover version of his book for the first time. The book took four years of photographing to reach completion.

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as far west as Buffalo, N.Y. and as far east as Lubec, Maine. Some of the lighthouses photographed have no official photographs on record, let alone in dramatic fashion from unique angles at night.

About a dozen impossible angles were accomplished via a specially-made tripod constructed by Zapatka’s friend Rob Winter, a welder from Coastal Ironworks in Wickford. The 20-foot long, 80-pound rig allowed Zapatka to ferry his boat out into the water and shoot the lighthouses from never-before-captured spots, making for much more dramatic photographs, even those well familiar to residents of Rhode Island.

To get to locations for the best angle to get shots, Zapatka studied tide charts to see where he could set up safely. He also had to work in accordance with clouds and the phase of the moon – as even a moon that was a quarter full would produce too much light over a 25-second exposure to take a high-quality shot at night. Many times he needed to acquire permission from public and private property owners beforehand.

Once or twice, Zapatka found himself close to harrowing situations to get the perfect capture, though he took numerous safety precautions throughout his journey. One example was off the coast of Narragansett while shooting the Rose Island Light. He had waded out into chestdeep water to get a perfect angle that could capture the lighthouse and the Newport Bridge in the background, with a slurry of stars overhead.

“The next morning when I got home I looked at the chart, and 15 feet away from where I set up the tripod is a ledge where it drops to 87 feet deep,” Zapatka said.

Much of the time, Zapatka was completely on his own to light his locations and set up the shot, but he was accompanied by friends and fellow local veteran television reporter Sean Daly for some locations as well.

Although his work is the culmination of years of historical research and voluminous depth of writing that covers a story about each lighthouse, Zapatka doesn’t insist on being defined as either a writer or a historian. He said he hopes that people will simply enjoy the book. If the book also inspires others to become more interested in preserving their local lighthouses, all the better.

“I’m neither an author nor a historian, just a guy with a camera, a dream and the desire to get to these iconic structures before we lose any more,” Zapatka said in a release announcing the book.

The 200-page book is available through local booksellers and online at www. starsandlighthouses.com. Zapatka will be part of the Association of Rhode Island Authors Holiday Show at Rhode’s on the Pawtuxet in Cranston on Dec. 2 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The cost is $39.99 for soft cover and $49.99 for hard cover. .

N THE U.S.A EI

.

Like the main protagonist from Stephen King’s epic novel series, North Kingstown resident David Zapatka is on his own quest to find dark towers. However unlike the grizzled gunslinger in King’s story, Zapatka totes a camera and a flashlight instead of two ancient six shooters, and he actually found himself on a journey encompassing 130 different towers instead of just one.

Stars & Lights: Darkest of Dark Nights is the first book published by Zapatka, an accomplished local and network news cameraman, producer, photographer and lighthouse enthusiast. Although two Emmy awards dwell in his living room (both part of team efforts covering previous Winter Olympics for NBC, he clarifies humbly), it is easy to see how much flipping through the pages of the first proof of the book freshly delivered to his house on Monday morning truly means to him.

“It’s been four years to get to this point,” he said, talking rapidly with emotional wavering detectable in his voice. “I’m very happy.”

The four-year journey that resulted in the unprecedented publication (published

by Vertel Publishing) is chronicled in the introduction to the book, along with stunning shots of each, and Zapatka’s personal journey – from his first camera purchased in high school to each of the lighthouse shots features – are included as well.

“I bought [my first] camera on my own,” he recalled. “I had a job cleaning kennels for a veterinarian who lived down the street from me. I saw this photography kit from Alden’s of Chicago. I told my parents I wanted to get this camera – I was the last of six kids – and they were like, ‘Nah, that will never lead you anywhere.’

Not discouraged, Zapatka went from photographing sports in high school to working for WJAR during college shooting video. He then worked years for Channel 6 and eventually racked up 27 years of working for network television, including contributing to the aforementioned Emmyaward winning work for NBC during the Olympics.

His passion for lighthouses was spurred by his involvement as the president of the group that sought to preserve the Plum Beach Lighthouse. This activity got him passionate about cataloguing all the lighthouses in Rhode Island, starting with the Dutch Island Lighthouse in 2013. His endeavor was made possible in large part by friendships he formed with members of the Coast Guard through the Plum Beach Lighthouse activism.

Once he ran out of lighthouses in Rhode Island – there are 16 active – he extended his range to Massachusetts and Connecticut.

By the time the shots for the book were all done, he had photographed lighthouses in every state in New England, plus additional shots from New York and New Jersey.

The 130 lighthouses featured – under breathtaking star-filled skies – range from

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lifestyles

b y L arry G rimaldi

Parenting In The New Age Having completing the job of raising our three children 20 years ago, my wife Kathy and I watch my daughter and her husband negotiate the minefields of modern day parenting. With some degree of objectivity, we see them working together to solve the mysteries of parenting twin teenage granddaughters and a younger grandson.

Witnessing this daily process unfold, we have reached three undeniable conclusions. One, we don’t envy today’s parents. Two, balancing a profession and family life is a formidable task.

Three, maintaining constant vigilance in a world full of trap doors leading to dangerous roads for today’s children is a necessity.

The most important challenge facing today’s parents is the need to balance time spent on the job and time spent at home (and quite frankly with each other and their own social lives).

Unlike my youth, today’s economic realities have ushered in the era of the two-income family. The Bureau of Labor Statistics notes that in 61 percent of households raising children 18 and under, both spouses worked outside the home.

The term “quality time” may seem frayed and trite. However, time spent as a family eating dinner together when possible, playing games, going on family outings, or just talking is important for keeping communications lines open. Effective communications build trust. Solid trust is a crucial element when children are having problems, or when they are going through the inevitable transition periods. The bumps and bruises of the maturation process can be eased by two-way conversation.

Today’s parents have to be experts at

time management, organization, and scheduling. They become de facto traffic managers. A calendar with very large squares for writing the month’s practices, games, rehearsals, recitals, music lessons, in addition to other school and social activities is a valuable backup to schedules stored in smart phones. These notes mysteriously evaporate from “the cloud” now and then. Patience, flexibility, and grandparents who live close enough to help with transportation are also very helpful. A sense of humor also helps.

In addition to teaching their children basic rules for personal safety, modern parents face an even bigger challenge that did not exist when I was growing up-the continuous threats posed by the cyber world.

We spent countless hours riding bikes, playing baseball, football, or basketball games at local playgrounds, or recreation centers. While we were aware of bullying, harassment, or the fear kidnapped, these threats did not cast a cloud over our activities. Today, parents must know who their kids are with and where they are at all times. In other words, they are full-time security guards.

Advanced computer technology, the Internet, smart phones, and social media are serious concerns for parents.

They must keep up-to-date on these technologies because the cyber world is in inconstant and dizzying evolution.

The cyber highways demand constant vigilance.

They must restrict access to certain sites. They must restrict access to certain people or groups they don’t know.

They must investigate contacts that they deem to be suspicious or potentially harmful. And they must continually review the activity on the child’s phone.

Cyber vigilance painstaking and time consuming as it is, but it may to be crucial to a child’s safety and security.

While these electronic tools are often used for educational purposes such as homework or school projects, studies show that kids are spending time online texting, messaging, and using other electronic devices at alarmingly

Y

es, parenting in my era was much easier. increasing rates. Controlling online time is tricky and parents will run into resistance, but these tasks are necessary elements to maintain balance in a child’s life. Increased dependence on electronic gadgets inhibits interpersonal communication.

There is no authoritative manual for raising a child (setting aside the myriad of psycho babble, trendy, be-yourchild’s friend, helicopter, free-range fantasy tomes). Parents are always striving to achieve the right blend of discipline, while giving their children a chance to grow and learn (yes even from mistakes).

Setting boundaries, while encouraging freedom of expression, creativity, and cultivating trust, are not easy jobs.

I would suggest that parents not strive for perfection, nor demand it from their children. Mistakes will are inevitable on both sides. When a child has given their best effort in school, on

the field, or at any other endeavor, that effort is worthy of praise and encouragement. Sometimes scores or awards do not measure accomplishment.

Even choices that are made based on solid information, careful consideration, and good intentions may not turn out as planned. There is no doubt however, that life lessons are imbedded in every result, even bad ones. Parents cannot shield children from the outside world. Parents can only equip their children with the tools they need to face the challenges.

Yes, parenting in my era was much easier. I admire the efforts of dedicated parents, such as my daughter and sonin-law and countless others, to guide their children and prepare them for life in the real world (where you are not profusely lauded just for showing up).

Their willingness to instill the values of self-reliance, personal responsibility, honesty, integrity, hard work, generosity, and compassion, seasoned with discipline, love, and a sense of humor reflect the proven basic tenets of parenting, regardless of the era.

I wish them, and all today’s parents, well. The task may be exhausting, but the rewards are great!

Larry Grimaldi is a retired freelance writer living in North Providence. Comments can be e-mailed to lgrimaldi49@gmail.com

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December 2017

PrimeTime | 15

LIFESTYLES

wHAT DO YOU FINK?

by MIKE FINK

The Chairs that Climb Stairs A pair of wicker frames with leatherette cushions, springs inside, have lived in the College Building, mostly, on and off, for decades! Like that nonsense children’s poem, they walk around the block and then settle down again with a sigh. These somewhat aged and ancient thrones started out as the office seats in the shared office/salon of George and Janet Wright Sullivan, both poets and English teachers here at RISD. They have left a legacy in their will to the library to encourage collections of verse that mix yesteryear and tomorrow! Well, this duo of welcoming places to sit and read and ponder visited my basement reading room at my home, until my poet colleague Mairead Byrne came to collect them and place them in the original library of the College Building, an incredibly elegant attic chamber, quiet and contemplative. There, they would serve the students as a place to peruse anthologies that dated to the mid-20th century decades of the Sullivan era in Liberal Arts.

The chairs came down to the front room with its fenestration that overlooked the newly restored river with its bridges leading across to the “new” library, which had been the Hospital Trust Bank, once upon a time. It was then currently my own new personal office/salon, and the pair were delivered for my conference time with guests. Another new chapter in the tale came along the trail of time. As the College Building continues to change, its spaces must alter their purposes and its furnishings/furniture must make way for that all-American term “change.” A contradiction, because of course, change is the cliche of our onceEnglish language.

So, just in time, before the relics were gotten rid of, I quick-sneaked the twins down a side staircase and ensconced them upon the strange little stage with its window gazing upon the entryway. I arranged them with a small plywood table in between to hold a couple of poetry anthologies from two texts: World Literature and American Literature. To entice curious undergrads to investigate the new miniature set-up. And perhaps settle down to read a little, or drink their “to-go” coffee on class break quietly and contemplatively.

Now you must know that you are seeking comfort on upholstered cushions fashioned by my own G.I. World War Two veteran, my.. yes.. Uncle Sam. Home to resume and restore his civilian life and quest for truth, beauty, and a proper path to pursue, he fell back upon his trade of “draper”--installing springs, sewing materials...the things we teach at RISD. It was my hero (a savior as a military medic of many lives) who brought these chairs back from the trash. Yes, these two antiquated relics have a tale to tell if you can read it with respect and a touch of nostalgia, as you look out the windowpanes and watch those sparrows building their nests from the wild straws of the weeds beyond our realm and rule. None of these things may stay forever, which is the message of all the wisdom of the past, suggested in those two battered books, but do the best you can to remain loyal to your thoughts and memories. These twin chairs have been up and down and all around this College Building, with its double dates of 1823 and 1936 inscribed among the bas-reliefs of the history of the studio world and the classroom and library chambers and the urns beyond the windowsills.

Whoops! I drove home to fetch my old-fashioned camera to snap a few portrait shots of my weekend achievement: the story I had framed and the tiny parlor I had designed and installed. Where had it vanished to? “The graveyard,” I was informed. So, my conclusion is....that conformity rules, not creativity, sometimes, even in the cradle of a college of “outside the box” encouragement! I have no evidence of that illusory weekend, only these words: the rest is brief and forgotten history, an ephemeral moment in the annals of the College Building.

“Yes, these two antiquated relics have a tale to tell if you can read it with respect and a touch of nostalgia”

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b y meg che v alier

Estimated Taxes and Withholding 5 things you should know With 10 million taxpayers facing estimated tax penalties a year, the IRS offers some simple tips to help prevent a surprise at tax time.

People pay taxes on income through withholding on their paycheck or through estimated tax payments. Taxpayers who pay enough tax throughout the year can avoid a large tax bill and penalties when they file their return.

Taxpayers should make estimated tax payments if: • The tax withheld from their income does not cover their tax for the year. • They have income without withholdings. Some examples are interest, dividends, alimony, self-employment income, capital gains, prizes or awards.

Here are five actions taxpayers can take to avoid a large bill and estimated tax penalties when they file their return. They can: 1. Use Form 1040-ES. Individuals, sole proprietors, partners and S corporation shareholders can use this form to figure estimated tax. This form helps someone calculate their expected income, taxes, deductions and credits for the year. They can then figure their estimated tax payments.

2. Use the Withholding Calculator on IRS.gov. This tool helps users figure how much money their employer should withhold from their pay so they don’t have 16 | PrimeTime

too much or too little tax withheld. The results from the calculator can also help them fill out their Form W-4. Taxpayers whose income isn’t paid evenly throughout the year, can check Publication 505 instead of the calculator.

3. Have more tax withheld. Taxpayers with a regular paycheck can have more tax withheld from it. To do this, they must fill out a new Form W-4 and give it to their employer. This is a good option for taxpayers who participate in a sharing economy activity as a side job or part-time business.

4. Use estimated payments to pay other taxes. Self-employed individuals can make estimated tax payments to pay both income tax and self-employment tax.

Self-employment tax includes Social Security and Medicare.

5. Use Form W-4P. Generally, pension and annuity plans withhold tax from retirees’ payments. Recipients of these payments can adjust their withholding using Form W-4P and give it to their payer.

For more information please visit www.irs.gov and search for publication 505, Tax Withholding and Estimated Tax, and Publication 525, Taxable and Nontaxable Income.

December 2017

retirement sparks

senior

issues

b y elaine m . decker

Camelot—The Stolen Promise This month’s Retirement Sparks is a departure from my usual humor and social satire. December is a time when many of us look back on the year that is coming to a close. I’m reflecting on an entire chapter of my life.

When President Kennedy was assassinated, I was a college freshman. People my age can all tell you exactly where we were when we heard the news of his death. I was standing outside a classroom called Whitehall at Brown University. The release last month of the CIA and FBI files on the investigation that had been sealed for 25 years brought the event back to me.

My classmates and I were stunned; we struggled to process what had happened.

But we were on the cusp of profound societal change, including the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights Movement. We weren’t afforded much time to grieve. We weren’t given the chance to reflect fully on what we had lost. We had too many other weighty issues to address.

Some of today’s political analysts would insist that, had Kennedy finished his term, he would have made his share of mistakes and would not be so revered by my generation. While that may be true, we can never know for certain. This year would have been Kennedy’s 100th birthday. To honor that, PBS aired for the first time the 1961 film “JFK: The Lost Inaugural Gala.”

Washington, DC had been paralyzed by a freak snowstorm the day of the gala, on the eve of JFK’s inauguration. The narration included entertaining anecdotes about the complications that caused for both the performers and the technicians.

As I expected from a PBS special, this was well produced and beautifully narrated.

What I did not expect was the emotional impact that program had on me. I’m not sure exactly where during the special I became aware that I desperately needed a box of tissues.

My first thought was that the cause of my waterworks was seeing all the entertainers that are no longer with us, Frank Sinatra in particular. But Jimmy Durante’s

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soulful and prophetic rendition of September Song (It’s a long, long time from May to December) toward the end of the program made me realize it was something more profound. His song and the companion narration elicited a long-overdue catharsis. I was finally fully grieving the loss of the promise of Camelot.

As so many others had before us, my generation entered college with the hope of a new and bright future. But unlike the others, we began our journey to adulthood, to our own social responsibility, with a young and vibrant leader at the helm of our government. We hadn’t even finalized our fields of concentration when that hope was taken away from us. Not just taken—wrenched away.

What hit me while watching “The Lost Inaugural Gala” was the realization that the promise of Camelot had been stolen from us. Who knows what glorious things our generation and our country could have accomplished in those “shining moments” that would have been? It’s one thing to celebrate one’s fiftieth college reunion and ponder “the road not taken” when the choice was one’s own. To look back and realize that someone erased that path from the map just as you were approaching the fork is something else altogether.

Most of us would admit that we have experienced some bright and wonderful accomplishments, both personal and societal, over the past fifty years. But one truth remains for my generation, made all the more poignant with the drama and the controversy of the current administration. We did not choose to bypass Camelot.

Its promise was stolen from us.

Copyright 2017 Business Theatre Unlimited Elaine M. Decker’s books include Retirement Sparks, Retirement Sparks Again, Retirement Sparks Redux and CANCER: A Coping Guide. Her essays appear in the anthologies: 80 Things To Do When You Turn 80 and 70 Things To Do When You Turn 70. All are available on Amazon.com.

She’s also been featured in ReaderSupportedNews.org. Contact her at: emdecker@ix.netcom.com.

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FANCIFUL FUDGE Makes about 8 gifts 1 package (14 oz.) dark cocoa Candy Melts brand confectionery coating 1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated) Christmas Confetti and Snowflake Mix sprinkles Place cookie cutters on baking sheet; refrigerate until ready to fill. In microwaveable bowl, melt Candy Melts according to package instructions. Add condensed milk; stir until blended. Microwave an additional 1 to 2 minutes on medium power; stir until fudge develops a sheen. Pour candy mixture into cutters to about 1/4 inch from top. Sprinkle sprinkles over candy in cutters; press down slightly.

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