Primetime july 2015 update

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J U lY 2 0 1 5

ily The Fam n io t a inspir behind

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FAMILY

REUNIONS HISTORY OUTINGS

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July 2015

inthisissue

Pr i m e Ti m e

Family!

July 2015 1944 Warwick Ave. Warwick, RI 02889 401-732-3100 FAX 401-732-3110 Distribution Special Delivery

PUBLISHERS Barry W. Fain, Richard G. Fleischer, John Howell

4

MARKETING DIRECTOR Donna Zarrella donnaz@rhodybeat.com

Capturing Memories Memory Books and Digital Family History

5 Oral History

Editor/ Creative Director Linda Nadeau lindan@rhodybeat.com

Family Stories recorded

6

Social Media

7

Family Reunions

WRITERS / Contributors Michael J. Cerio, Don Fowler, Tin Forsberg, Elaine M. Decker, Mike Fink, Bruce Lane, Meg Chevalier, Kerry Park, Kathy Tirrell, Donna Mac, Camilla Farrell, Susan Pomfret

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Donna Zarrella – donnaz@rhodybeat.com Lisa Mardenli, Janice Torilli, Suzanne Wendoloski, Alex Viscusi Classified ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Sue Howarth – sueh@rhodybeat.com

PrimeTime Magazine is published monthly and is available at over 400 locations throughout Rhode Island. Letters to the editor are welcome. We will not print unsigned letters unless exceptional circumstances can be shown.

Stay in touch with family through technology

How to plan your next reunion

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Project Undercover

An inspired mission

of helping families

nextmonth Beauty & Style!

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Create a fun-filled family summer evening in your own backyard

15 Rocky Point

A new family tradition – Movies in the Park!

17 Alienated Grandparents

Support group helping grandparents

Honoring Vets and Caregivers......................................................19 Alzheimer’s Association..................................20 Your Home..............................................................21 Senior Agenda......................................................22

Food & Drink

Kick Up the Heat.................................................18

LIFESTYLES

Retirement Sparks..............................................10 What Do You Fink...............................................10 Restaurant Review.............................................16 Summer at the Avon........................................16

professional prospective

Ask Shelby & Smoke.........................................18 Your Taxes................................................................21

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(formerly L’attitude) in Cranston July 2015

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b y jessica selby

Capturing Memories Making Memory Books Pat Saccoccia and June Blessington sit together in the “snuffling” room at Victoria Court and work on their memory books.

The “snuffling room” is a quiet place that Victoria Court “residents” go to to regain their thoughts and work on tasks that are soothing to the soul. It’s all part of the memory care regiment that the assisted living facility for people with dementia and Alzheimer’s implemented when it opened its doors in 1995 and continues to offer on a daily basis to residents.

Victoria Court currently houses 50 residents, many of which have apparently had the opportunity to create their own memory book.

It’s a lot like scrapbooking, according to Patricia Orrall, director of Pacifica Senior Living, at Victoria Court in Cranston, except that the images collected for the project and later displayed on the pages inside the book are not necessarily all family photos. In fact, she said, often times the images of people that are in the memory books, may not be people that the memory book makers have ever even met before.

The idea, Orrall said, is not necessarily to create a photo album, but rather to “stimulate the residents memories, to get them talking about things that they do remember and want to talk about,” she said.

“Some of our higher functioning residents still keep family photos and want to include them in their memory books and that’s great and we encourage it, but for some of our other resident that do not have that high level of functioning, they may not recognize their family members in photos anymore so we just want to get them exercising their brain while doing a fun activity,” Orrall said.

Recently, Orrall said, the residents worked with the resident activities director on a summer fun memory book.

Inside the pages of the book were images that the residents had cut out of Iggy’s restaurant, Rocky Point, watermelon, the beach and a map of Rhode Island.

“For this memory book, the residents were given a topic; summer fun, and anyone that has ever lived in Rhode Island has some memory of Iggy’s and Rocky Point or even just the beach so it was a nice way to get our residents thinking about their memories and talking about them,” Orrall said.

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Creating A Digital Family History Steve Cohen, an East Greenwich resident, heard about the concept of memory books and said that he found the idea fascinating, but decided to take his own spin on the project for the generations in his family to come.

“The idea came to me really because my family is broken up all over the country and each of us has different connections with all the aunts and the uncles, but we try to stay as close as we can by sending pictures back and forth, but what we were finding is that pictures were all over the place, not organized or labeled and it just seemed like a bad system,” Cohen said. “So I said ‘let’s put it all in one location in a company that will outlive us all, which is Google.’ So I made up an email address and account on Google and then just emailed everyone in the family the account info so that they could upload things to it.”

Cohen said that he is aware of other public social sites like Facebook and Twitter that offer similar features, but he said that he has personal information on the family account that he doesn’t want shared publically, so he said those sites would not work for his concept of the memory book. He also said that he has uploaded a few short video clips and interviews that he has held with certain family members,

all things that he didn’t want going beyond the immediate family.

“Face book is too public so I don’t trust it for how we are using it and I also don’t trust it to be around as long as Google, which had all the apps in one place right there for us,” Cohen said. “Plus this isn’t really for the day to day type stuff. We have put things like my mother’s birth certificate, my parent’s marriage certificate and other legal documents on there that I got from places like Ancestry .com.

“My thoughts are that these types of things would just sit in somebody’s closet and then eventually get lost, but on Google they will be around forever so that the grandkids and our family’s future generations can get to know who their older aunts and uncles were and keep their memories alive,” he said.

Cohen said that the initial set up was slightly time consuming, but extremely straightforward and simple.

“I am not sure that this is exactly what the site is intended for, but it has all the apps are right there and it is just so accessible for everyone no matter where we are in the country that I really think it’s the simplest way to preserve a family’s memories,” Cohen said.

July 2015

by DONNA MAC

family

Oral History Stories of a Lifetime

Fanny died in the winter of 2009 at the age of 9 . Luckily, a few months earlier, we recorded her oral history.

While we lost a lovely woman, who lived a long and happy life, we did not lose Fanny’s spirit; her essence; her voice.

When preparing to record the oral history of your loved ones, there are a few things to keep in mind: Organize questions chronologically. Elders love to reminisce about their childhood, friends and what life was like growing up. I often begin by asking a question like, “when you were a child, who was around your supper table and what was on the menu?”

This opens many doors. It helps them paint a picture of their home, family members and their ethnicity.

From there, you can ask about school-

ing, accomplishments and “what was life like as a young woman/man in the 30s/ 0s/50s?”

I’ve also found that it’s important to keep the interviewee “on track” because many being interviewed like to talk at length and take the interview in a direction you weren’t expecting. So in addition to asking questions, it’s your job to be a great listener who “redirects”, if necessary.

And relax. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed the entire interview will be. Your goal is to just have a conversation (that’s organized).

Don’t skimp on equipment. You can record an oral history on an iPhone but will you be able to locate or edit it later? Elders sometimes take a while before answering questions and might lose their focus so it’s your job to al-

low that to happen, then delete the silence (or any disruption like a cough) after the interview. You can record oral histories in audio or video format but make sure the video camera has a high quality microphone because the elder’s voice is the most important element to capture.

For Fanny, we took her oral history and placed it onto CDs. Fanny’s granddaughter made some custom CD labels and gave the CDs away as gifts.

Fanny’s granddaughter just heard from a cousin who was one of the lucky CD recipients. She said that she recently listened again to her grandmother’s interview while she was home cooking.

“It was like she was with me as I peeled the potatoes. I laughed as I listened to her stories and shed quite a few tears too!”

Do not hesitate. As we know, life is fleeting and precious. Try to record your loved one’s oral history early. No one who has ever completed one has regretted it.

Oral histories are more valuable than you might think. They’re gifts for you, the elder in your life and for future generations.

If I can answer any questions or do the job of recording an oral history for your family, call anytime. Whether you record on your own or hire a professional, take the time to plan it, produce it and complete it, let’s make sure it gets done.

Donna Mac is a former broadcaster and current owner of DMacVoice & Media in Rehoboth, Massachusetts. Contact her and learn more about recording oral histories for your family (508) 954-8279 or visit dmacvoice.com/oral_histories.html

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For more details, call Kathy Parker, Director of Admissions at

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Member Saint Elizabeth Community

One Dawn Hill Road, Bristol, RI

www.facebook.com/SaintElizabethCommunity www.stelizabethcommunity.org A CareLink Partner and non-profit, nonsectarian 501(c)(3) charitable organization.

PrimeTime | 5

Bond between grandparents & grandkids benefits both What used to be the “golden years” of life for seniors is now turning into any opportunity to spend even more time with their youngest family members. Nowadays, a growing number of grandparents are called on to provide child care for their grandkids, many of whom are growing up in two-income households. Others are helping to raise grandkids while providing financial assistance for adult children who may not be able to live on their own.

This trend has been corroborated in a few recent studies. Information from the Pew Research Center showed 7.7 million children in the United States were living in the same household as one of their grandparents in 2011. A University of Chicago analysis of a decade of data based on interviews with 13,614 grandparents, ages 50 and older, found that 61 percent of grandparents provided at least 50 hours of care for their grandchildren during any given year between 1998 and 2008. And an April 2012 study for the MetLife Mature Market Institute and the nonprofit Generations United, an intergenerational policy group, found that 74 percent of respondents provided weekly child care or babysitting service for grandkids.

Grandparents often cite helping their own children financially as well as staying in touch with grandchildren as motivating factors behind providing care. According to Generations United, staying in touch with grandkids can give seniors a feeling of selfworth and improve their overall health.

When spending so much time together, grandparents develop special relationships with their grandchildren, who often benefit from the knowledge and wisdom offered by their elders.

By sharing stories of how things were when they were younger, when opportunities may have been more scarce, grandparents can help teach grandchildren empathy. Grandchildren may learn to be grateful for the things they have and the people around them.

Grandparents can tell grandchildren about family members, including their own parents. Looking through photos can provide the avenue by which to start conversations about family history and give children opportunities to ask questions.

Grandchildren can be exposed to their grandparents interests.

Anything from gardening to woodworking. Children who grow up respecting their grandparents may have an increased tendency to respect authority figures outside their homes, which may help kids grow up to be more courteous and kind.

Grandchildren also offer benefits to their grandparents. Companionship, new experiences and conversation can help keep grandparents’ minds sharp and bodies active well into their golden years. TF149510

Family fun with active grandparents “Mens sana in corpore sano” is a Latin quotation meaning “a healthy mind in a healthy body.” Some mourn that it has been forgotten as North Americans witness a decreasing family interest in outdoor activities and an alarming obesity rate among children.

Michelle Obama, as U.S. First Lady, has been raising awareness of the urgent need for daily intellectual and physical exercise through her highly praised campaign, “Let’s Move.”

Bicycle riding is a long time favorite family outdoor activity and it helps to develop balance, coordination and motor skills, which contribute to an individual’s overall physical fitness.

Grandparents Ted and Jacqueline Odoni agree: “On weekends, our family’s favorite thing after we’ve enjoyed a meal together is to go for a walk in the park or for a ride on our bikes. It’s healthy, it’s free, and it clears your mind. Cycling is what keeps our three grandchildren active, and it also keeps us alive and kicking.” (MS) EL126239

| PrimeTime

Keeping In Touch with Social Media The Internet and related technologies have been a game-changer for people of all ages. The instant connectivity made possible by these advancements has been valued by young adults and children for years. But now social media is attracting an entirely different demographic – seniors.

More than just a method of channeling information to the comfort of home, the Internet and the various social media platforms, including Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram, are ways for older adults to stay connected with friends and family. For seniors faced with mobility issues, social media helps to bring the world to them.

Despite the stereotype that seniors do not want to learn to use new technology, many seniors are getting on board. Findings from the Pew Research Institute show that social networking use among Internet users ages 50 to 64 grew by 88 percent between April 2009 and May 2010.

The research also found that the percentage of those 65 and older using social media grew from 13 percent to 26 percent during that same stretch. Although young adults continue to be the primary users of social media, older users are gaining momentum and surpassing youth in the number of new users.

Individuals who are not yet utilizing social media to manage their communication efforts may be inspired by these benefits to doing so.

Photo & video sharing: The majority of photos being taken today are digital, as fewer people are making prints of their photos. Rather, they are being shared via e-mail or through social media sites. Grandparents can see their grandchildren in photos in real time. Also, if they’ve managed apps that enable video sharing, they can view and chat with relatives who live miles away, just as if they were sitting across the table.

Conversations with family: In a world where families are no longer centrally located, communication may be lacking. Despite the prevalence of mobile phones, fewer and fewer people seem to pick up the phone and make calls as they once did. Instead, they’re texting and updating social media posts. They’re also e-mailing one another. Older adults who have no access to this technology could be left out of the mix. This is a way for seniors to stay close to family.

Convenient check-ins: At times when a full-blown conversation may not be practical, having a quick method to check in with a loved one can make social media advantageous.

Men and women can send a quick text to their parents to find out how they’re feeling or if they need anything. Such ready access can provide some peace of mind to adults concerned about their elderly parents.

Online shopping: Seniors who don’t get out much or who cannot safely drive a vehicle might not be able to shop as often as they would like. Having Internet access and experience with browsing Web sites enables older men and women to shop from reputable Web sites who ship items directly to the house. With the vast array of items now sold online, anyone can have their choice of items and not be forced to settle because of their age.

Improved feelings of well-being: Avoiding feelings of isolation and loneliness can benefit older men and women. A study by Dr. Shelia Cotten, a sociologist and associate professor from the University of Alabama, Birmingham, revealed that Internet use was associated with a 30 percent decrease in depressive symptoms among older adults who used it regularly, while other studies have shown similarly impressive results.

Working the mind: Going online, chatting on social media or simply writing an e-mail works areas of the brain. Typing also helps improve manual dexterity. These factors can be beneficial for seniors looking to stay sharp.

Using the Internet as a form of communication is a growing trend among the 50-plus demographic. It enables them to stay connected with family and the world in a variety of ways. LP133985

July 2015

family

b y kathy tirrell

Together Again Planning A Family Reunion

This is the time of year when many people go on vacation and hold their family reunion. Kids are out of school for the summer so there’s no conflict with their academic schedule, parents are ready and eager to take some time off from work, and lots of venues are readily available.

If your family members happen to live in close proximity, you probably get together pretty often through the year. But if you’re scattered throughout the country, the idea of a family reunion might sound rather appealing.

Party planner Susan Lataille of Discover You Events has some helpful tips for planning this type of event.

“The first thing is to know your budget,” said Lataille.

Since we all have different financial situations, whoever is hosting the event needs to figure out how much money is needed. And this goes hand in hand with how many people will be invited. Of course that’s an individual decision—first cousins, second cousins, etc.—the host needs to figure this out or perhaps find some other family members to form a committee and take a vote. When a guest list is ready, the guests can take a survey asking them about possible reunion dates, venues, food choices, and donations.

If the reunion won’t be held inside a person’s house, another venue must be found. Some people happen to have a big back yard, so that could work. If not, there are parks such as Goddard, Roger Williams, and Colt State that can be used with a permit. Some families even opt to go on a cruise ship if their budget will allow.

If you’re wondering when to start planning your reunion, Lataille recommends giving people advance notice of 6 to 9 months. Some reunion planners advise a year in advance. As mentioned earlier, the time of year is also a consideration. Lataille

Americans Willing to Drive Farthest for Love & Family Summer travel season is upon us and a new survey reveals just where all those vehicles on the highway may be headed. Americans indicated they are willing to drive the farthest for love and family, with fewer willing to drive long distances for sporting and entertainment events.

In particular, 42 percent surveyed indicated they would drive the farthest to see a love interest over any other activity and 25 percent indicated they would do so to attend a wedding, according to the new “How Far Would You Drive?” survey from Enterprise RentA-Car. Additionally, 20 percent said they are willing to drive five or more hours to see their child’s sporting event, while only nine percent are willing to drive that same distance to see their favorite professional football team play.

More than one-third also indicated they would drive five or more hours to attend a family reunion and a quarter said they would even do so to meet their in-laws.

“We hear anecdotal stories from our customers all the time about what inspires them to embark on road trips, and it’s a thrill to see how we play a role in our customers’ lives,” said Lee Broughton, vice president, Enterprise Rent-A-Car Brand Marketing. “While love and family may spark individuals to drive the farthest, interests such as sports, music and food still earn significant car time.” (StatePoint)

July 2015

says most of the time family reunions are held in the summer. After all, if people want to engage in outdoor activities, what could be better than nice, warm, sunny weather? In the case of rain, a tent can be used as a back-up plan.

And what kind of outdoor activities can you plan? Lataille says there are options such as karaoke, family trivia, and the old-fashioned but still fun games such as three-legged races, croquet and bocce, and even a huge Twister board that can accommodate lots of players. Some people like to engage in a spirited game of volleyball.

As for the length of the reunion, Lataille says it should run at least 4 to 5 hours so that family members who haven’t seen each other in a long time will have plenty of time to reconnect. Some people who hold yearly reunions like to schedule an entire weekend for the event (or longer) so they will have time for eating a meal, chitchatting, and participating in activities.

When it comes to deciding on the menu it’s important to make sure you give people some kind of choice. Even if you think everyone would be happy eating hamburgers and hotdogs or enjoying a clambake, perhaps some family members can’t eat these things.

“Always have a vegetarian option,” said Lataille.

Stephanie Massey, who’s lived in Riverside for the past 40 years, says her family gets together for reunions every other year, usually during the third week in July.

“My older cousin organized the first one about 10 to 15 years ago,” she said.

The first one was just a small one held at a family member’s house. But in time, things expanded and the family needed to find other accommodations. The Seventh Day Baptist Church became their location of choice, giving the family the chance to attend a service and have a nice catered meal.

Massey says now there is a planning board for the reunions, newsletters are sent out to family members 4 times a year to keep them up-to-date on what’s new, who has passed away, etc. Also, family members can submit articles of interest to be included in the newsletters.

She said her family is very interested in history, particularly her distant relative from the 1800’s Prudence Crandall. Crandall, who was born in Rhode Island, founded a private school for girls in 1831 in Canterbury, Connecticut. After making the decision to admit an African-American girl, she found herself embroiled in controversy. The white parents boycotted, removing their children from the school. Crandall re-opened the school, calling it Miss Crandall’s School for Young Ladies and Little Misses of Color. For her bravery, Crandall was named Connecticut’s Official Heroine.

Massey’s family likes to incorporate different themes to their reunions, such as a Civil War theme.

“I found some toys children played with during that time period,” said Massey.

“Cat’s in the cradle was one of them.” She found the toys in the Prudence Crandall Museum.

Massey said her family has printed up special t-shirts and offered them for sale along with hats at the reunions to serve as special mementoes of the occasion.

“And we give out certificates to the oldest person, the person who traveled farthest to get there, the youngest person, and the person with the most descendants,” she added.

Photo by John Howell

PrimeTime |

by MICHAEL CERIO

the family behind

PROJECT UNDERCOVER

During a child’s first year, parents can expect to go through nearly 2,800 diapers. With an average cost between 20 and 25 cents each, a family would need to earn around $1,000 pre-tax to cover the retail cost of a year’s worth of diapers.

A

man of near impeccable memory, Richard Fleischer remembers the day as if it were yesterday. Walking into his local CVS shortly after adopting his youngest daughter, Sarah, who was 2 at the time, he made his way to the baby aisle.

After picking up a box of diapers, he headed to the register, about to experience a moment that would later impact the lives of near countless children. As he placed the box of some 150-plus diapers—a necessity that every parent knows all too well—on the counter, the cashier rang it up, and Richard was dumbfounded.

“I was in my 0’s at the time and had never purchased a diaper in my life; my wife and I had started from a completely different place when we adopted our oldest daughter,” recalls Richard. “If there was ever anything we needed, I’d buy it. But this just felt different—the cost was outrageous.”

During a child’s first year, parents can expect to change nearly 2,800 soiled diapers. With the average price per disposable diaper between 20 and 25 cents, the cost can add up, particularly for families of limited means. In fact, an argument can be made that the cost of diapers, based on sheer volume alone, can be difficult for all families. And, as we all know, children need diapers beyond their first 12 months.

“Leaving the store that day, it quickly became obvious that some families were making hard choices; do they buy food or diapers, pay their rent and utilities,” says Richard. “They couldn’t do it all, so what could be done to help them?”

The answer to that question soon became as apparent as the need within the community.

Already serving on the Board of Directors of the Furniture Bank of Rhode Island, along with long-time Rhode Island Department of Human Services staffer Frank DePetrillo, Richard and Frank had an idea. What if they started a project as a program of the Furniture Bank; one that focused specifically on providing diapers to low-income families? And what if they expanded the program to include socks and underwear?

“Poverty affects one out of every four Rhode Island children under the age of 5,” says Richard. “We’ve all worn hand-me-downs; they’re a part of life growing up in a family with siblings, but certain items, like socks and underwear, don’t lend 8 | PrimeTime

themselves to that, so it was another area we thought we could address.”

Realizing, along with others who felt the same way, that the need was too great to ignore, Project Undercover was born in 1992.

Operating under the umbrella of the Furniture Bank of Rhode Island, Richard, Frank, and a slew of compassionate volunteers worked for a year to come up with ways to generate donations. Then, another idea hit.

The Boy Scouts were known for their annual food drive, but local girl scouts had yet to adopt a community service program. Through a relationship with Connie Worthington of the Girl Scouts of Rhode Island (now the Girl Scouts of Southeastern New England), Richard and Frank approached the group with the idea of joining forces for a once-per-year diaper drive in April. Everyone loved it.

“We formed a steering committee which included scout representation and others from agencies and organizations who knew about community need—we wanted to do this right,” says Richard.

For 15 years, the girl scouts led the way, collecting thousands of diapers each April, which were brought back to central collection points (primarily fire and police stations) and collected by the Rhode Island National Guard. At the end of each drive, the diapers were delivered to the Furniture Bank, where they were sorted and redistributed to children and families in need. Early supporters of the drive included Hasbro, Inc., Cardi’s Furniture, and WJAR NBC-10.

Just as important as their efforts to help the less fortunate, these young women became more engaged with community service. It’s a secondary benefit that Fleischer feels helps people go

on to do even bigger things for others as they get older.

“It’s so important to get people involved in this type of work at a young age,” says Richard. “When they’re introduced to it early in life, they’re ready to take the baton when it’s passed and we’ve seen that time and time again. We have women still involved with Project Undercover that began with us when they were just kids themselves.”

Realizing that despite their hard work and success, the needs of the some 5,000 Rhode Island children living in poverty were still great. Project Undercover needed to think bigger. And they needed to do it now.

In late 2009, the Project Undercover committee held a meeting, facilitated by Richard’s wife, Joyce, to discuss the future. Committed to making an even bigger impact in the lives of impoverished children, the group spoke about forming its own 501c3 nonprofit, separating from the Furniture Bank, and the potential to raise money to buy product in significant bulk. It took less than 3 minutes for the committee to unanimously vote yes on both fronts. That December, Project Undercover formally applied for its own nonprofit status.

With nonprofit status in-hand by January 2010, Project Undercover secured a generous financial donation from Ocean State Job Lot—now the organization’s largest funder. In an effort to raise its profile, Project Undercover took on a publicity event; the brainchild of its vice president, Jeanette St. Pierre.

Jeanette’s vision was for Project Undercover to build the world’s largest sock. She enlisted the help of the Rhode Island Sewing Network, involved Blaine Sewing Machine Center in Cranston to July 2015

family

volunteer the use of their sewing machines, and worked with Guinness to certify the record-breaking creation.

On Friday, December 2, 2011, the 32foot long sock was draped from the third floor balcony of the Rhode Island Convention Center, officially entering the record book, where it remains in the top spot to this day.

“All of the credit belongs to Jeanette; she put in countless hours to make her vision a reality and we’re so grateful to Ocean State Job Lot for covering the costs,” says Richard. “More than 600 feet of cotton material and 42,000 feet of thread went into making this sock— it’ll be difficult to top what we did.”

Over the past five years, Project Undercover has maintained its relationships with the Girl Scouts, who still hold their annual drive, and the Furniture Bank. What has changed, however, is their ability to seek funding through grant applications and constantly building new partnerships.

Through relationships with diaper manufacturers in New York and Miami, Project Undercover is able to purchase large quantities of diapers at wholesale cost or slightly below. But with the Miami manufacturer, the organization needs to buy in huge bulk, more than 100,000 diapers at a time, which requires a lot of upfront money and storage needs. Fortunately, in its new location on Swiss Street in Providence, Project Undercover is in better position to buy in these larger quantities.

“We stretch a dollar better than many non-profits; our work isn’t a hard sell,” says Richard. “When you tell people about the need and that you can buy 7 or 8 diapers for each donated dollar, they want to get involved.”

And get involved is exactly what people have done. With new ideas sprouting all the time, parents have thrown birthday parties for their kids, asking for diaper donations instead of presents. Schools hold dress down days in exchange for donations. There’s the

July 2015

Project Undercover President Richard Fleischer, Abby McQuade and Senior Corporate Adjudications Manager Danny Girton Jr., of London-based Guinness, hold the official certificate from Guinness.

annual Touch-A-Truck event in partnership with Cat Country 98.1 and Cardi’s Furniture that draws more than 1,000 visitors with donations of diapers, underwear or socks the price of admission. The PawSox and Girl Scouts team up for a “Sox for Socks” event, and everything in between, from financial donations to attending other fundraisers.

This year, Project Undercover is aiming to distribute a half million items, which are given out through 22 partner agencies, family service organizations, and Community Action Programs.

“We’ve scratched the surface in terms of public awareness and providing emergency items, but I still think we have a ways to go,” says Richard. “The structure we’ve built will allow us to grow and do an even better job meeting the need, but we to do that, we need the continued support of the community.”

With the motto that every child deserves a dry bottom, you can get involved with Project Undercover by visiting its website, www.ProjectUndercover.org, where secure, online donations can be made through the “You Can Help” link.

All donations to Project Undercover are tax deductible. You can also like them on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/ProjectUndercover, and stay connected about upcoming events and drives. There are also opportunities for volunteers and those interested in serving on committees.

“Project Undercover is not only very important to me, it’s very important to everyone who’s involved and those we help— when we’ve had to make emergency runs to agencies that have run out of diapers and give a package to a family in desperate need, people have cried,” ends Richard. “This is a way you can make a real difference and the return you feel is immeasurable.”

Corilyn Henault, Promotions Assistant for Cat Country 98.1, stands with the more than 10,000 diapers, socks and children’s undergarments collected during this year’s 6th Annual Touch-A-Truck event, a partnership between Cardi’s Furniture and Cat Country in support of Project Undercover. (Photo courtesy of Cat Country 98.1)

Local Girl Scouts have been integral supporters of Project Undercover since the organization’s early days, coordinating a largescale annual collection each April.

PrimeTime |

retirement sparks

lifestyles

b y elaine m . decker

A Family By Another Other Name

A photo in a magazine showed a huge black cloud of birds, high above rooftops. It was described as a ‘murmuration of starlings.’ I’d heard of a ‘gaggle of geese’ and an ‘exaltation of larks,’ but never ‘murmuration.’ I was entranced and instantly fell in love with the term. A little Googling turned up a ‘gulp of swallows,’ a ‘convocation of eagles,’ and—be still my heart—an ‘ostentation of peacocks.’

It turns out many of these words for families of birds are poetic inventions, often centuries old, and several books on such terms have been published over the years. The website WorldWideWords.org tells us: Type ‘collective nouns’ into any Web search engine: you’ll find dozens of sites featuring them, though the level of wit is sadly variable. Newsflash from me: This should come as no surprise. The level of wit is sadly variable almost everywhere one looks these days, but especially on the Internet.

I’ve decided that I have an obligation to come up with some witty ‘collective nouns’ for groups of retirees and seniors. I’ve gathered them into categories based on shared characteristics. If I had a tad more drawing talent, I’d illustrate a few for you. Absent that, you’ll have to picture these on your own. I trust that you’re up to the task.

Recreational groups:

A gabble of Mah Jong players, gossiping about their neighbors A sproutation of garden club members, repotting their seedlings A slithering of shuffleboard addicts, slipping their discs A procrastination of checkers enthusiasts, plotting their moves A bouffant of square dancers at the community center hoedown A muster of dominoes aficionados, lining up their tiles

Some everyday collectives:

A scootation of Hoveround® riders, headed to the mall A tippling of sherry lovers, imbibing in the afternoon A snooze of nappers, practicing their snores (after sherry hour…)

An explication of crossword puzzle buffs, filling in the blanks A loopation of Velcro® devotees, adjusting their shoe straps A snuggle of couch potatoes binge watching classic sitcoms

Medical terms:

A clatter of denture wearers, adjusting their teeth A glom of seniors on statins, trying to unclog their arteries A congestion of fiber enthusiasts, on line at the restroom (also trying to unclog…)

A tumble of folks with vertigo, riding the ‘down’ escalator A gimp of orthopedic patients, doing physical therapy A squint of presbyopics, struggling to read their morning papers

Special bunches of women:

A frumple of blue-haired old ladies, crocheting toilet paper cozies A noblesse of volunteers, dressed in their finest goody two shoes A fussle of grandmothers smothering their grandchildren A swarm of quilters, circling at their weekly bee A dithering of envelope stuffers, helping with a church mailing An omnibustle of book club members, arguing about character motivation

Clusters of men:

A huddle of Monday morning quarterbacks replaying the big game A geezle of curmudgeons splitting hairs at the barbershop A droople of Sansabelt® wearers, hiking up their pants A putter of handymen hunched over their benches in the community workshop A snortle of over-fed male chauvinists reclining in their over-stuffed Barcaloungers A caucophony of politicos arguing about the local election results There you have it, my contribution to the lexicography of collective nouns. I hope you find the level of wit consistently above average. If your goal is to settle in to a comfortable retirement, you might want to hang on to this column. Nothing makes you feel at home like finding that special family of folks who share your interests and your quirks, not matter what you call them.

Copyright 2015 Business Theatre Unlimited Elaine M. Decker’s books—Retirement Sparks Redux (published in December, 2014), Retirement Sparks Again, Retirement Sparks and CANCER: A Coping Guide—are available at SPECTRUM-INDIA, on the East Side of Providence, on Amazon.com, including Kindle editions, and by special order through your local bookstore. One of her essays appears in the anthology: 70 Things To Do When You Turn 70.

Contact her at: emdecker@ix.netcom.com.

wHAT DO YOU FINK?

LIFESTYLES

by MIKE FINK

Reunion at Midsummer I’ve reached the age at which my comrades and companions of the past have diminished in number. Each and every reunion with a person of my generation is therefore now lit with a sunbeam of special good will and fond memory. I’ve lost friends from high school, freshman year in college, and even graduate programs. But under the bright blue skies of the weeks after commencements have left the campus worlds a bit forlorn, I met my two undergraduate, and postgraduate, room-mates and even soul-mates, Joel and Jim, over the borders of Rhode Island, at Yale.

Joel and his wife Naomi have a one-story house between a natural history museum with its lovely, tamed-wilderness grounds and a river with ponds that bring ducks and frogs to the back yard. Joel was at Harvard Law School while I was studying at the Harvard Graduate School of Education: we shared digs in Somerville. Anyway, now he puts us up at his Stamford home. “We’re old!” he declares, rather enjoying his way of mixing a smile of welcome with a downbeat warning that the alumni reunion may prove something of a shock.

Jim, a retired Air Force lieutenant major, is a superb storyteller. He holds us spellbound, over a splendid brunch Naomi put together--fresh summer fruits and excellent coffee and French toast--as he tells us about military survivor training. “We spent a week with nothing but a sacrificial rabbit (ahem!) and a matchbook, four of us, and we ended up hitting a porcupine with the sling-shot, skinning and eating it! No, it tasted awful, but when you are truly, really, hungry, everything is edible, no matter what!” Jim is spending part of his pension period researching his family roots. The mysteries of his past hide in Georgia, where masters and slaves long ago produced a violent and disturbing mix of traditions and genetic heritage as well. “I hear from distant cousins who share their point of view with mine, it fascinates and also distresses me.”

Jim drove down from Chicago to attend our rendezvous. After our weekend adventure is done, he hugs and even kisses me! As an only child, and now a widower, he seeks out people who mean something to him and his story. He shakes hands with the president of our alma mater Yale, and tells him how he had felt as an outsider at 10 | PrimeTime

Yale, a racial mix with parents from a working-class background, and then Jim comes back to our table in the festive tent shaken, actually in tears! And yet he claims he tends his garden placidly. and has, as an occasional “friend” and regular visitor, a ruby-throat hummingbird! (I suffer from bird-envy.)

Joel, on the other hand, has a longer tradition within the world of New Haven and also of Providence. His children got “legacy” admission to Yale, and we even meet his grand-daughter Emma at our reunion. It is her fifth, and her family has ties in Providence and her connection to the RISD world with its interest in children’s literature and artists’ books give me lots of topics to share as we talk among the mockgothic nooks and crannies of the gated and moated world of the sons and daughters of “Eli.” Emma is an editor of children’s illustrated books.

The Whiffenpoofs faithfully sing us the familiar ballads of our own era, indulging us in the nostalgia that evokes the loyalties of those who share, or span, generations.

Jules Cohen, our tennis champion and now our class “master gardener” from North Kingstown, R.I., greets us. Also his fellow tennis champion, now Renee Richards, tall and stunning, visits our table decorated in the blue and white colors of our pennants, and our caps.

“Are you glad we spent the weekend on the road?” my wife asks me as she drives along the Merritt Parkway, with its also-nostalgic narrow lanes and variously sculptured bridges. “Well, there’s a strange sadness because so many of our allies have vanished, not-here, among those we don’t really know, perhaps because we lived in different residential colleges,” I mutter. A woman probably a Yale wife, or widow, at a nearby table, criticizes the colors of my wardrobe. “Your orange trousers don’t go with those pink and blue loafers,” she declares. Am I hurt, or merely amused? Both.

I tell her about the difference between the standard, restrained, “shoe” taste of yore, (class of 1955) vs. the outrageous creativity of my RISD time, that outranks my Yale lifetime, those “bright college years, with pleasure rife, the shortest, gladdest years of life.” “I apologize for my impertinence, maybe it’s because I play the trombone,” she retorts. I guess I’ll leave it at that.

July 2015

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Westbay Café…More than a Meal Making a luncheon reservation at our eight Westbay Cafes is as easy as 1, 2, 3!

July Special Meals Independence Day Celebration Thursday, July 2 BBQ Chicken Wings, Hamburgers and Hot Dogs, Tossed Salad, Macaroni Salad, Corn on the Cob, Watermelon/Fourth of July Cake Bring A Friend Day – Thursday, July 30 Split Pea Soup, Pot Roast with Gravy, Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans, Biscuit, Carrot Cake Our caterer provides the following three options (two each day) for your meal • Hearty Traditional Meal – Appetizer, Main Entrée with sides (potato, vegetables) • Pub Option – Delicious Sandwich • Spa Option – Lighter, healthy option for those on the go All luncheons include an appetizer, bread, dessert and coffee or tea

For more information, please call patty martucci, Assistant Director of Senior nutrition program

401-732-4666 ext. 142

Senior CenterS Charlestown 401-364-9955 East Greenwich 401-886-8638 Jamestown 401-423-2658 The Center–S. Kingstown 401-789-0268 West Warwick 401-822-4450 Westerly 401-596-2404 Senior ApArtmentS (you do not have to be a resident) Park View-Westerly 401-596-4918 Shalom Apartments 401-737-0180

We invite seniors age 60 and older and individuals with disabilities to join us at these Cafes for a nutritious lunch. The suggested donation is $3/person. Reservations are necessary and should be made by Thursday for the following week.

July 2015

ImmedIate CrematIon ServICe

$1,095.00 This service includes: Collation of information, one person transfer of remains to funeral home, use of facilities for mandatory waiting period, preparation of remains (not embalming), cremation container, transfer of remains to crematory, securing death certificate and filing of certificate with appropriate town or city, and crematory fee.

Route 44 • Greenville Common Greenville, RI (401) 949-0180 andersonwinfield.net

PrimeTime | 11

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July 2015

BUSINESS spotLight

scandinavian home

Rated “5 Star by the Center for Medicare & Medicaid Services Any organization knows that true “success” rarely comes from a single person or event, but rather from the collective efforts and sum contributions of its entire staff, from the least heralded to those on the “front line.” This is true of large corporations and small businesses alike, and most especially of those in the field of human services. The hardworking, dedicated and loyal staff members who give 100% daily of their time and talents are the backbone of such places, including the Scandinavian Home, a skilled nursing and rehab center in Cranston.

Here at Scandinavian Home, two very such special staff members have recently been acknowledged for their extraordinary contributions. Meet Simone Lacroix and Zuleika Vargas.

Simone Lacroix, an administrator at this well-known center, has just been awarded the prestigious 2015 Eli Pick Facility Leadership Award from the American College of Health Care Administrators (ACHCA). This award recognizes administrators whose teams have achieved “dimensions of organizational quality” that few others have been able to reach, and honors those who have demonstrated exceptional leadership abilities throughout the year. Bestowed upon Lacroix at the ACHCA’s annual awards luncheon, this award singles out those such as Simone who have shown the proven connection between facility leadership and quality outcomes in skilled nursing facilities such as the Scandinavian Home. Her outstanding commitment has garnished her the praise of her peers and co-workers alike.

Zuleika Vargas has been recognized for an accomplishment of her own ~ but one with a more eye-catching title, the Firecracker Award! Zuleika (more familiarly known as “Zee”) is the Executive Chef and director of the Culinary Department at Scandinavian Home. Her company, which was recently re-named Flik Lifestyles and which delivers all the food services to Scandinavian Home, granted her this important award to recognize her as one who “has demonstrated skills and competencies above and beyond her peers and exceeded all the company’s high standards of performance!” Through her hard work and creative spirit, she has turned the culinary department here around. Under her direction, the servers are well-trained, and courteous; and the center’s residents agree that the presentation and taste of her food is always “wonderful, amazing and served with a smile.”

The steadfast devotion of Simone and Zuleika are noteworthy and remarkable, but more importantly, they are reflective of the entire staff’s efforts at Scandinavian Home. Together, they make this center a place where its members ~ whether longterm residents or short-term rehab patients ~ feel welcome, respected, comfortable, upheld and appreciated. Of Scandinavian Home, one could say that they are a real team, from head to toe!

Scandinavian Home as a whole has also received some praise-worthy news of its own. They have the well-deserved distinction of being rated a “Five Star” facility by the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Congratulations to one and all!

If you would like more information about this highly rated center, call 01- 11 33 for your personal tour. Scandinavian Home is located at 1811 Broad St. in Cranston. You can also find them at www.scandinavianhome.com.

Scandinavian Home, inc. skilled nursing & rehabilitation center 1811 Broad Street, Cranston, RI 02905

401-461-1433

~

assisted living community

50 Warwick Avenue, Cranston, RI 02905

401-461-1444

A Community Built with Care!

www.ScandinavianHome.com

Non-Profit - Founded in 1930

100 Houghton St. Providence, RI 02904

401-487-1029

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BUSINESS

spotLight

Call Donna to find out more Zuleika (“Zee”) vargas and Simone Lacroix, two colleagues and recent award recipients, enjoy a few minutes out of their busy days to pose for a photo.

July 2015

401-732-3100

PrimeTime | 1

• • • • • r o o outd

••

Movie

family

night

at home

During the golden age of outdoor movie viewing, drivein-movie theaters were a phenomenon. By the late 1950s, one-third of theaters in America were drive-ins. Over the last 40 years or so, the number of drive-in theaters has declined considerably. It’s estimated there are fewer than 400 drive-in movie theaters in the United States today.

You can bring the fun and nostalgia home. Construct an outdoor theater in the comfort of your own backyard. · Projectors enable you to display a movie on just about any large, unobscured surface. Hang a white sheet or a canvas painter’s drop cloth for your screen, but any smooth surface on your home, such as a large expanse of wall, can do the trick. Projectors now come in various sizes, and there are some pocket-sized varieties that can work with phones and other mobile devices. DVD Movie Projector Kit Rentals are also available. You can find them with a quick internet search.

Choose a family-friendly movie like “Finding Nemo” or a modern classic movie to display. Imagine seeing “Jaws” on a big screen in your backyard.

Spread some chairs, cushions and blankets. Light candles and soft lights. You want it dark enough to see the movie, but you also want guests to be able to walk around safely.

Build in some intermission time. Concession stands were part of the drive-in experience, so make food part of the fun. Get individual bags to fill with popcorn and movie-style candy.

Fire up the grill to make sure there are plenty of tasty snacks and light the fire-pit and make s’mores.

Also, plan some pre- and postviewing activities. Drive-in theaters were known to include some additional entertainment to boost attendance. Have a dance party or carnival-type games to add to the evening.

And don’t forget the bug spray!

Cra-Mar Meadows A UniqUe HeAltH CAre FACility Proudly owned and operated by the Grzych family for over 35 years

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575 Seven Mile Road, Hope, RI 02831 401-828-5010 14 | PrimeTime

.

RESHAL .

F T GE Y LOC BU

July 2015

Movies

in the park

family

Come with your family, come with your friends... it’s a new

Rocky Point tradition!

FAMILY Fun This Summer The Central Rhode Island Chamber of Commerce will hold free movie nights this summer at Rhode Island’s ‘Field of Dreams,’ better known as Rocky Point.

“Movies in the Park” nights are planned for July 16 and 30, and August 20, and will respectfully feature Annie, Happy Feet and Finding Nemo. Food trucks will be on site, and the park gates open at 6:30 PM for inside the park parking, weather permitting. There are no restrictions for bringing in food and beverages, however alcohol is not permitted and trash must be taken with you. Showtime begins at dusk. Bring your family, friends, and blankets and chairs.

An Estimated 1,500 people turned out for The Lego Movie, the first movie showing at Rocky Point Park, on June 18. (photo by Tim Forsberg)

Artists’ ExchAngE

now offering

classes free for seniors!

Fun and engaging classes in art, ceramics, theater and music.

Come in an try one out...

Upcycled Art..................... Mondays 10:30am-Noon Art History ........................Mondays 12:30-2:00pm Clay Handbuilding .......... Tuesdays, 10:30am-Noon Basic Theater.................... Thurdays 10:30am-Noon Drawing and Fridays 10:30am-Noon Sculpture ............................ Fridays, 12:30-2:00pm Space is very limited. Please call 490-9475 to reserve your spot in one or more free classes today!

w w w. a r t i s t s - e x ch a n g e . o r g July 2015

PrimeTime | 15

THAT’s enTerTAinMenT

by DON FOWLER

10 Rocks You don’t need to take advantage of Rhode Island’s new direct flights to Cape Verde to experience exquisite Cape Verdean cuisine.

Just hop in your car and head for 1091 Main St. in Pawtucket, right over the Providence line, for a dining experience you will not forget.

Carmen and Carlos Monteiro and partner Joseph DeRosa recently opened the tastefully renovated former Irish pub/restaurant, offering authentic, creative Cape Verdean dishes like nothing we have ever experienced.

10 Rocks, which stands for the 10 rocky islands of their native Cape Verde, offers the ultimate dining experience.

The separate bar area has one TV, which cannot be seen or heard from the 80 seat dining area. There is also an outdoor patio.

“Tapas (Small plates) are meant to be an intimate, sharing experience,” Carmen told us. “There should be no distractions like TV or cell phones. It is all about sharing good food and conversation.”

Carmen and Carlos both came to the United States as children, and have always dreamed of opening a restaurant. Carlos is a professional drummer, and his band entertains in the evening.

“My husband and his friends renovated the building, taking their time to get everything right,” she added.

They hired an experienced chef from Cape Verde

Funeral Directors UrqUhart-MUrphy

Edward L. Murphy - Director 800 Greenwich Ave. Warwick 737-3510

Barrett & Cotter FUneral hoMe

Peter Barrett Cotter - Director 1328 Warwick Avenue Warwick 463-9000

Carpenter-Jenks FUneral hoMe & CreMatory

Stephen E. Carpenter - Director 659 East Greenwich Ave. West Warwick 826-1600

thoMas & Walter qUinn FUneral hoMe

Exquisite Cape Verdean Cuisine – reSTAurANT reVieW

who is an expert in preparing the infused dishes that she lovingly prepares with her special sauces.

There are over 18 tapas to choose from, ranging in price from $5 for Yucca Fries to $1 for seared tuna.

There are 5 entrees, ranging from $20 for Rosemary Chicken Breast to $28 for sirloin steak.

While 10 Rocks emphasizes the gifts from the sea, they also excel in pork, chorizo, chicken and blood sausage tapas.

On our first visit, we enjoyed Camarao Trapiche, a tropical take on comfort food. Baby shrimp was sautéed in a coconut curry sauce infused with Cape Verdean rum served over plantains. ($13) The signature dish is the 10 Rocks Palvo, a dish we never would have ordered without Carmen’s urging. (“It’s our most popular dish.”)

Grilled octopus served over fried plantain, topped with garlic and fresh cilantro infused with olive oil was tasty and tender. We have usually found octopus to be tough, but this tender morsel, shipped from the Philippines, changed our minds as we added it to our “favorite dishes” list. ($13) 10 Rocks opens your minds and taste buds to trying something new and different. Cod Cakes served with sour cream and herbs in a panko breading with a side of spicy house made Siracha aioli, changed my mind about cod ($9).

A side of Yucca Fries ($5) is a must. The root-like veggie is fried golden brown and dipped in a garlic

We’re looking for new members . . .

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Tel. 732-3100 1 | PrimeTime

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10 Rocks Palvo chimichurra sauce.

Other sides that we have enjoyed include Coconut Rice ($ ) and Fried Goat Cheese (Joyce’s favorite at $8).

We will be back and not be satisfied until we have tried everything on the menu, including their signature Island Style Paella, which includes pork, shrimp, chicken and calamari con sofrito served over a bed of saffron rice and topped with tuna steak and a lobster tail ($15).

While the restaurant has a full bar, we suggest ordering the $12 “platter” of island drinks. There are two choices of six sampler drinks. Order both and share.

Our favorite was ponche (Not punch), a strong, tasty liquor that is also an island favorite.

Save room for dessert. Be sure to try the Kamoca (Roasted Cornmeal) Cheesecake.

“I guarantee you have never tasted anything like it,” Carmen said. And she was right.

The creamy cheesecake is made with roasted cornmeal and gram cracker crust, topped with pecans and salted caramel drizzle. ($8).

For reservations, hours and more information call 728-0800. Entertainment every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Find them on Facebook - TenRocksBar

Cool Summers at The Avon

The multiplex screens are filled with cartoon features for kiddies, comic book characters for teenagers, and R rated comedies for young adults.

What about us seniors!

Thank Richard Dulgarian for the Avon, where older adults can see movies for adults.

We’ve been fans of the popular movie house for over 50 years, beginning in the mid-sixties when double features were in style, and at least twice a year you could watch “Singing in the Rain” and “The Wizard of Oz,” or “The Maltese Falcon” and “Citizen Kane” back-to-back. The Avon Cinema is located at 2 0 Thayer Street on the East Side of Providence.

Today, the Avon shows Academy Award foreign film nominees, film festival favorites, British classics, top documentaries, and quality movies.

While most Brown students are home for the summer and East Side residents are at their beach houses, traffic and parking are lighter and the multitude of good restaurants on Thayer and Hope Streets are not as crowded.

I have a friend who won’t go to the Avon because he has to walk a block or two, yet he’ll park in a mile-long park-

ing lot or garage and walk past eight screens to get to his multiplex movie.

You can usually find street parking a short distance from the Avon, and when you enter the small lobby, your seat is but a few short steps away.

The experience is enhanced by the showing of their fifties popcorn and candy enticement, “Let’s all go to the lobby,” a jingle that Joyce loves to sing along to. “Their popcorn can’t be beat.”

A crowd sometimes gathers outside after the movie in informal discussion groups, or heads to one of the restaurants nearby to continue their conversation.

From pizza next door or across the street to Chinese, Indian, Greek, American, burgers and fries, Korean, Mexican and more, you have over a dozen establishments within walking distance to choose from.

While most entertainment in Rhode Island is limited to evenings and weekends, retired folks can avoid crowds by taking in a weekday matinee.

So keep cool this summer, and see a movie at the Avon. Visit www.avoncinema.com. or call the 2 -hour movie information line, 21-AVON, to see what’s playing.

July 2015

family

b y tim forsberg

Alienated Grandparents aren’t alone

Grandmother Forms Support Group

Betty (not her real name) misses her grandchild so much, it hurts. She knows other grandparents are going through similar situations, and she wants them to know they are not alone.

She has formed a group called Alienated Grandparents Anonymous (AGA).

Betty wants her groups meetings to focus on the struggle grandparents have in being part of their grandchildren’s lives. She plans to offer support, non-judgmental understanding, and an outlet to allow others to share their experiences of alienation in a group setting where they can learn ways to cope and understand the complex issue.

“The first meeting there were just three of us, the second meeting there were seven, and three other people contacted me after the meeting,” said Betty.

She said it was the first gathering of its kind in the state.

Betty’s tale and her journey to help others follows a rabbit hole of estranged families and love lost. Retired after a lifelong career in education, the 60-something Warwick resident has four adult children and four grandchildren. Several years ago, her relationship with her daughter soured.

“The grandchild that I am alienated and you haven’t, you can file for visifrom, we had a very close relationship tation with the courts,” said Betty. “So with. Dana [not the child’s real name] before we did that we got a lawyer and lived with us, with [their] mother, for said we didn’t want to go to court we two years. Then she found an apart- just wanted to set up visitation. When ment and Dana continued to live with my daughter found out about that, us during the school week, because things really took a turn for the worse, her work schedule was such that it was and we ended up going to court anyeasier for everybody to just keep Dana way.” for the school week and then go back Rhode Island does provide some with mom for the weekend,” said Bet- protections for grandparents in Betty’s ty. “A situation happened where Dana situation. According to the law, upon told me something petition of a that was very disgrandparent for turbing, and when visitation rights I said, ‘We need to with the grandI love being a tell Mommy,’ Dana child and notice said, ‘I tried to tell given to parents of grandmother, and to have Mommy and she the child, family wouldn’t listen.’” court may grant that taken away is sad, but it’s “After talking reasonable rights with different peoof visitation of the really sad for the grandchild ple and especially grandchild to the – Betty my husband, I depetitioner.

The cided the matter best interests of was serious enough that I had to contact the child and the overall fitness of the the authorities. They followed through, grandparents are factors considered in and after that my daughter told me I making a determination. could never see my grandchild again,” “The judge did grant me time, once she explained. a month to see Dana,” said Betty. “But Betty tried to speak with her daughter, the visits were only for two hours and but lines of communication were broken they were in insane places, places where and months passed. Desperate to see her we couldn’t really talk. Meanwhile, grandchild, she sought legal advice.

Dana was isolated from the entire ex“There is a grandparent visitation law tended family, my daughter did not that states that if you’ve tried for 30 days contact any other family members so to have contact with your grandchild GRANDPARENTS – PAGE 20

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Pet Q & A dear shelby & smoke

professional perspective

Problem with the Litterbox Dear Shelby & Smoke, My cat has stopped using her litterbox lately. I adopted her about two years ago and at that time she had two awesome friends to play with, but we recently lost one of her wonderful playmates. She stopped using the litter box since around that time. She also has more access to the house now. I took her to see the doctor to make sure it was not a medical problem, and it’s not. Any suggestions?

Sincerely, Luna’s Mom There are many reasons for cats to stop using their litterbox. Medical reasons are always best to rule out first. Cats can have medical conditions ranging from thyroid disease to urinary tract infections. Once these and everything in between is ruled out, we next have to look at the many behavioral reasons why a cat may not use their litterbox.

Some behavioral causes of inappropriate eliminations (not using the litterbox) can be due to changes in the household such as a loss of a another

pet, adding a new pet into the house, disagreements between pets in the household or from outside (i.e. through windows), changes in household schedules, anxiety, and many other reasons that unfortunately they can’t tell us.

There is a wide range of ways to try and modify this behavior. The primary thing to address is any stress in the environment. Whether it is from a schedule change or another pet, it’s important to look for sources of possible stress. Sometimes this stress may not occur when you are around such as an interaction at a litterbox, so you have to watch for any signs, positive or negative, and analyze.

Pheromone diffusers and sprays can help to calm cats especially in high stress zones. It is important to have extra litter boxes and keep them clean. A general rule of thumb is one extra litter box than the number of kitties in the household.

Some cats have a special affinity for only certain types of litter. Make sure you find the litter brand and type they like most. Some kitties who have gen-

eralized anxiety, for reasons not known to their human companion, may need medications to help anxiety. Please speak with Luna’s veterinarian for more details on medications. Whether or not medication is needed, behavior modification and environmental enrichment are the most important things to help.

A brief paws ‘till next time

Shelby & Smoke Email your pet care questions to:

shelbyandsmoke@westpaws.com Dr. Danielle Paradise and Dr. Clarissa Williams are from West Paws Animal Hospital, (formerly West Bay Animal Hospital) and NorthPaws Veterinary Center, northpaws.com.

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b y kerry park

senior issues

Honoring Veterans & Caregivers Little did John Boezi imagine during his service in World War II, that 71 years later he would be receiving recognition for his sacrifice with a fellow battalion member miles across the ocean at a skilled nursing center in Cranston, Rhode Island. He certainly never dreamed he would be living with a fellow veteran who lived through the same experience he endured at the Battle of the Bulge. Yet that’s exactly what fate had in store for Boezi and roommate, Anthony DiBiasio, residents of The Cedars in Cranston. Last month, the two veterans sat amidst red, white and blue decorations, listening to patriotic tunes while waiting for the ceremonies to begin at The Cedars’ “Salute to Veterans and their Caregivers.”

The event brought more than 20 veterans of WWII together, along with friends, families and staff of The Cedars Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Centre, located in Cranston. They were there to honor the veterans of WWII on the 71st anniversary of the war’s end, along with the “front line” of the nursing center’s caregivers who provide daily care and friendship.

Some wore hats and badges marking their service or rank during the war. Carmino DeBiasio, wearing full Navy garb, sat with brothers Joe, Thomas, and Anthony, recounting old memories. All four brothers served in WWII. “Our mother spent many nights sitting by the window waiting and praying for us,” he said.

With the four together more than 70 years later, their mother’s prayers seem to have been answered.

The Cedars event was held this past June 10th to correspond with the 71st anniversary of D-Day, as well as the commencement of National Nursing Assistant Recognition Week held June 11th through 18th.

“It’s ironic that nursing assistants are often referred to as the ‘front line.’ Similar to our veterans who also served on the front lines, these caregivers are often the eyes and ears of their supervisors. They are the closest to the heart of our mission to provide great care. It is important to pause and pay tribute all those who give selflessly of themselves for the good of others, “said Susan Whipple, CEO/Administrator of The Cedars while addressing the crowd.

Citations to the veterans and the caregivers in attendance were presented by Cranston Mayor Allan Fung. “The freedoms that we enjoy every day, and sometimes take for granted, are never free. They are obtained through the selfless acts of many men and women who answered the call of duty and defended

The DeBiasio Brothers – All four brothers served in WWII.

“Our mother spent many nights sitting by the window waiting and praying for us.” – Carmino DeBiasio our country. It is my privilege to join the Whipple family, who for generations has taken care of our seniors and those in need, and the entire Cedars’ community to recognize and honor those veterans, who bravely served for us, as well as their caregivers. This is a special opportunity to thank the many individuals who are a part of and make Cranston one of the most special communities in Rhode Island,” he said.

After the ceremony, guests gathered to share stories at a cookout and concert in their honor. In preparation for the celebration, John Boezi’s daughter, Lorraine Fusco, did extensive research and found a lengthy account of her father’s 557th Field Artillery Battalion. When asked if she thought whether her then 18-year old father was frightened about leaving home for the first time and going to war, she said no. “They had a job to do and they did it. They didn’t hesitate,” she said.

During World War II, 16 million Americans served their nation. Just over a million of those veterans are still living today. As our “Greatest Generation” reach their nineties and beyond, hundreds of individual accounts of the war are lost each day.

The Cedars’ celebration helped to keep these important stories alive. Just as important, “These events remind us to pay homage to the great sacrifice of all our veterans, and to remember their caregivers, who give compassionately of themselves each day,” said Whipple.

John Boezi, who fought with the 557th Field Artillery Battalion, receives a citation from Cranston Mayor Allan Fung at the “Salute to Veterans and their Caregivers” ceremony at The Cedars in Cranston

Resident Victor Pouliot, and nursing assistant Angie Giko receive citations from Mayor Fung. (submitted photos)

July 2015

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Interstice: Memory, Mind & Alzheimer’s Disease Lifespan and the Rhode Island chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association are collaborating with the local art world to create a curated exhibition. The exhibit will lead people through the process of understanding what it feels like to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease – the fear, uncertainty and unfamiliarity with neuroscience, the clinical environment and medical vernacular.

This first-of-its-kind exhibit opens on July 16, with a special reception from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Cohen Gallery in the Granoff Center for the Creative Arts at Brown University in Providence.

According to Peter J. Snyder, Ph.D., Lifespan’s chief research officer and senior vice president, focusing on Alzheimer’s disease in this format is a new way to bring perspective and understanding to a disease that affects one in nine people over 65 years old in the U.S. “Who this disease affects goes way beyond just those diagnosed; it also greatly impacts family members, care givers and care providers. We expect the numbers to rise dramatically over the next 20 years, as the baby boomers age. Now, more than ever, there needs to be an increased effort to raise public awareness of Alzheimer’s,” said Snyder, who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of this disease.

“Our goal is to create an event that engages an audience with the experience of Alzheimer’s disease that would otherwise not be exposed to this information,” he added.

The exhibition will feature all Rhode Island-based artists, who will create works in pen and ink, metal, enamel, wood, photography, sound and film to tell the story of Alzheimer’s. The artists are using a number of raw materials, such as images, recorded voices, retinal scans and brain scans of nearly 60 Rhode Island residents who are all caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s, and who are all concerned about succumbing to the disease themselves.

The exhibit runs from July 16 through September 9, 2015.

GRANDPARENTS - FROM PAGE 17 my grandchild has been totally isolated from everyone.”

Betty’s court battle took roughly two years and cost several thousand dollars.

Visitation conditions also allowed for a phone call once a week, but there have been months when she hasn’t had a visit, or visits are cut short. She’s gone several weeks without a phone call.

Though common, grandparent alienation is rarely talked about and the problem has no social boundaries. Frustrated and looking for help, Betty sought professional counseling.

“My grandchild, I constantly worry about. I know Dana misses me and my husband and the rest of the family,” said Betty. “I’ve tried to reach out to my daughter and suggested different things we could do to try to work it out, and she’s always refused. So at this point, I really feel that Dana is being emotionally abused.”

There are many signs of alienation, the most common being avoiding socialization, suppression of expression, blame, denial, behavior control, and lying, amongst others. Alienated children can experience fear, anxiety, depression, helplessness, confusion, guilt and isolation.

Studies show that with multigenerational relationships between grandparents and grandchildren, the child grows up much healthier socially, physically, and intellectually. Grandparents serve as role models, mentors, teachers and providers.

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Betty eventually turned to the Internet looking for an outlet that could help.

It was there that she found Alienated Grandparents Anonymous Incorporated. An established 501c3 organization, AGA Inc. provides support and information to those estranged, and serves 47 other states and 12 countries.

“It’s anonymous because grandparents feel embarrassed,” said Betty, adding the meetings aim to connect people with similar experiences to each other. “Only a person who is going through the same situation can really understand them and sympathize with them.”

The group’s meetings offer strategies on rebuilding and healing relationships, along with coping mechanisms to help manage emotional pain. They will be led

by Betty or another participating consultant. Betty has reached out to professional mental health advocates, and special guest speakers will be invited to present their expertise. Introductions in the meetings are first name only. She hopes grandparents sharing stories will help heal old wounds.

“I love being a grandmother, and to have that taken away is sad, but it’s really sad for the grandchild,” said Betty. “We must be the voice of our grandchildren.

Do not give up on your grandchildren, they would not want you to give up on them.”

For more information about call 7388441 or write AGA-RI@cox.net. Additional information on grandparent alienation may be found at www.aga-fl.org.

July 2015

your taxes

professional perspective

your home

senior

issues

by BRUCE LANE

b y meg chevalier

president of senior real estate solutions

IRS Reminds Taxpayers – Safeguard Tax Records this Hurricane Season The hurricane season is already here and the Internal Revenue Service advises individuals and businesses to safeguard their records against natural disasters by taking a few simple steps.

Create an Electronic Additional Set of Records

Taxpayers should keep a duplicate set of records including bank statements, tax returns, identifications and insurance policies in a safe place such as a waterproof container, and away from the original set. Keeping an additional set of records is easier now that many financial institutions provide statements and documents electronically, and much financial information is available on the Internet. Even if the original records are only provided on paper, these can be scanned into an electronic format. This way, taxpayers can save them to the cloud, download them to a storage device such as an external hard drive or USB flash drive, or burn them to a CD or DVD.

Document Valuables

Another step a taxpayer can take to prepare for a disaster is to photograph or videotape the contents of his or her home, especially items of higher value. The IRS has a disaster loss workbook, Publication 584, which can help taxpayers compile a room-by-room list of belongings. A photographic record can help an individual prove the fair market value of items for insurance and casualty loss claims. Ideally, photos should be stored with a friend or family member who lives outside the area.

Update Emergency Plans

Emergency plans should be reviewed annually. Personal and business situations change over time as do preparedness needs. When employers hire new employees or when a company or organization changes functions, plans should be updated accordingly and employees should be informed of the changes. Make your plans ahead of time and practice them.

Check on Fiduciary Bonds

Employers who use payroll service providers should ask the provider if it has a fiduciary bond in place. The bond could protect the employer in the event of default by the payroll service provider.

IRS Ready to Help

If disaster strikes, an affected taxpayer can call 1-866-562-5227 to speak with an IRS specialist trained to handle disaster-related issues. Back copies of previously-filed tax returns and all attachments, including Forms W-2, can be requested by filing Form 4506, Request for Copy of Tax Return. Alternatively, transcripts showing most line items on these returns can be ordered by calling 1-800-9089946 or by using Form 4506T-EZ, Short Form Request for Individual Tax Return Transcript or Form 4506-T, Request for Transcript of Tax Return.

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Are you ready for hurricane season?

It seems that news of flood waters ravaging cities and towns has become commonplace. The devastation in Texas is the latest example. Yet, though we see horrible tragedies play out on our TV screens, how many people are really prepared should flooding occur? And, do they really understand flood insurance and what it covers? Thanks to Rhode Island’s own destructive downpours some years back, there’s no doubt that many homeowners here are more familiar with the issue than they would like. All that withstanding, there’s still a lot of people who could benefit from a little more knowledge.

For instance, did you realize that homeowners are responsible for sewage lines connecting from their home to the public street unless they have included it in their homeowners insurance policy? Storm drains are typically designed to handle two inches of rain an hour.

More than that can wreak havoc. Anyone who has had trouble with their lines knows how quickly damage can occur.

According to the Insurance Information Institute, the average homeowner insurance claim in 2007 was five thousand dollars and 22 percent of those claims were water-related. Prices have risen dramatically since that data became available.

Many people don’t realize that a typical homeowners insurance policy only handles water damage from above, like damage from a leaking roof for example. Damage from below from issues like exterior flooding and backed up storm drains and sewers which cause damage to anything in a basement, including the furnace or hot water heater, is usually excluded. Damage is limited on all policies so you need to ask your insurance agent for specifics. Don’t assume anything. Take the time to know what is covered and what isn’t.

Flood insurance will cover issues that typical homeowners insurance won’t. The National Flood Insurance Program (NFIP) changed its flood maps a few years ago so many homes which were not previously in a flood zone now are, and vice versa. Homes which have a mortgage backed by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac which are in a flood zone are required to have flood insurance, offered through the NFIP. CoreLogic, a leading global prop-

erty information, analytics and data-enabled services provider, recently released its 2015 storm surge analysis which concludes that the Atlantic Coast has more than 3.8 million homes at risk of storm surge in 2015 with a total reconstruction cost of $939 billion. Homeowners in at risk areas therefore, should be well aware of the caveats of a flood insurance policy. For example, property and belongings outside of an insured building such as plants, wells, septic systems, walks, decks, patios, fences, seawalls, hot tubs and swimming pools are not covered.

Take preventative steps to protect these things ahead of time, if at all possible.

Also be aware that living expenses such as temporary housing or financial losses caused by loss of use of the property are not covered and that coverage is also limited in basements and other areas below the lowest elevated floor.

The best insurance of all is to take the time to prepare before nature is knocking on your door. How? Create an emergency kit with extra batteries, a charged cell phone, a hand cranked radio and flashlight, a manual first aid kit and alcohol wipes. Also, write down emergency telephone numbers – loved ones, licensed contractors, and the Fire Department’s direct line. (Your local fire department can pump out your water filled basement if necessary.) And, find out where your local Red Cross Emergency shelters are located.

Above all, safety first. Be aware that backed up sewage present in floodwaters can create a toxic bacterial hazard even with simple skin contact. And, make sure that all the shutoffs for your utilities are identified and tagged. Know where they are and how to operate them safely before the basement floods. A little preparation and education today can save you headaches and potentially serious harm in the future.

Bruce Lane is the President of Senior Real Estate Solutions, a non-profit referral service for seniors looking for reliable home repair & maintenance services.

If you have home maintenance questions, send them to Bruce@BruceLane.com or via the Senior Real Estate Solutions website at www.seniorrealestatesolutionsri.com

PrimeTime | 21

by SUSAN POMFRET

senior issues

Senior Agenda Coalition of RI Luncheon Honors Five Providence Marriott was the setting for the Senior Agenda’s first Annual Spring Awards Luncheon. The honorees, whose dedication has improved the lives of older Rhode Islanders were: Former Lieutenant Governor Elizabeth Roberts, who now serves as the Secretary of the RI Executive Office of Health and Human Services. She served as Chair of the Long Term Care Coordinating Council through her tenure as Lt. Governor, in which she was a leader in seeking reforms in the state’s delivery of long term care to seniors and disabled adults.

Nancy Dobie and Julie Baldwin who founded the RI Ocean Tides Senior Games in 2008. The organization promotes, organizes and conducts activities and sports events for men and women aged forty and over. Its goal is to motivate seniors to lead a healthy, active and fit lifestyle, which now offers athletic events to over two hundred people annually.

Bob Caffrey who recently retired as President and CEO of Homefont Heath Care.

A tireless leader in the movement to “balance” Medicaid long term care by increasing home and community based services, proves he is a Champion in Service to Rhode Island elders.

Anne Mulhall who founded Al’s Moving Minds, a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide family caregivers with a range of options for time off from their caregiving duties. Because of her experience as a caregiver for her father (whom the organization is named after) she realized that caregivers needed the opportunity to create a “new normal” out of a difficult life situation.

Meals On Wheels welcomes Lgbt Café at Friendship Café in Providence The newest venue to the Meals on Wheels Café Nutrition Program is the LGBT Café at Friendship Cafe, held one Friday each month. It is located at 500 Broad St. in Providence and reservations are required. The café offers LGBT individuals and their friends age 60 and older a hot, nutritious meal in a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere.

“Meals on Wheels of RI is pleased to partner with SAGE and DEA in creating this café. We hope to offer a place for LGBT seniors and their friends to gather around a meal, enjoy each other’s company, and learn about the services available to them,” said Heather Amaral, Executive Director.

“We were astonished with the turnout for the first café; standing room only.

That the second one was also a sellout tells us that this program is needed in the state. We look forward to expanding to meet the need,” Amaral said.

“It is a lot of fun having this monthly venue for people to attend for both a wonderful meal and the warm and friendly conversation with others. Some of the scheduled cafes have entertainment and informational speakers present,” said Pauline Asprinio, Nutrition and Program Director Contact the Café Nutrition Department at 351-6700 and ask for Pauline to reserve your spot.

Meals on Wheels of RI is a non- profit organization funded in part by AOA and state funds through the Division of Elderly Affairs

Free Lunch and Learn Presentation at the Villa at Saint Antoine On Tuesday, July 14 from 12 to 1:30 p.m., the Villa at Saint Antoine will be offering a free Lunch and Learn Presentation – Brain Health as You Age: You Can Make a Difference. Learn how making healthy lifestyle choices may help us maintain healthy bodies and brains. Presentation is provided by the Administration for Community Living, the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. To register, call The Villa at Saint Antoine at 401-7672574. The Villa at Saint Antoine is located at 400 Mendon Road in North Smithfield. Lunch will be provided.

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Pictured top row left to right; Anne Mulhall, Senior Agenda Executive Director, Bill Flynn; Elizabeth Roberts. Bottom row left to right; Bob Caffrey; Nancy Dobie and Julie Baldwin

Susan Pomfret combines her professional experience with her senior volunteer work for the Senior Agenda Coalition, as Co-Chair of the Board of Directors, an Alzheimer’s Ambassador RI – U.S. Representative, a member of the Aging in Community Subcommittee through the Long Term Care Coordinating Council and the Older Women’s Policy Group. She is the Home Equity Conversion Mortgage Senior Vice President for The Federal Savings Bank.

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Everyone Loves the Expo!

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July 2015