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Mick skirted the side of Bazza’s house, dodged the abandoned shovel, stepped over the half prepared garden bed and went straight to the fridge in the back shed. He unloaded a six pack on to the top shelf of the fridge, grabbed a stubby and joined Bazza under the roller door. Mick took a moment to survey the garden and half smiled. ‘Make yourself at home, Mick. It’s not quite as good as the pub but it’s about the best we can do under the restric ons. If you came for the view of the garden, you can look over the fence. The neighbour, Chu Hua, has got the game sown up and I can’t see the point in compe ng. I reckon she should pay me something for making her efforts look so good.’ Mick was about to respond when his phone beeped and he studied the message for some me. ‘Well there you go, Bazza, another message from Clive Palmer and Craig Kelly. You know these blokes have got some interes ng views and alternate remedies and it does not hurt to keep up to speed.’ Bazza half chuckled, took a sip of his beer and ran his hand across his face. ‘All very good to have a well rounded view on life, Mick. I’m an avid follower of those text messages myself.’ Mick’s eyes lit up and he took a decent drink and leaned forward. ‘You surprise me some mes, Bazza.’ ‘Always open to new ideas, Mick. Did you get the one about the single treatment for not only COVID-19, but malaria, typhoid, cancer, depression, diarrhoea, arthri s, gout, asthma and even the common cold.’ Mick shuffled in his seat and straightened. ‘Bloody hell, Bazza. Now that’s a breakthrough. I missed that one. What’s the treatment?’ Bazza took another sip of his stubby and cleared his throat. ‘Now keep it quiet, Mick, it’s s ll in the experimenta on stage but if you eat a Tim Tam biscuit regularly, the chemicals in the chocolate release an all encompassing an dote that reacts with the central nervous system to send off a signal to dormant an bodies that have not been used since we lived in the caves.’ Mick swept his hand through his thinning hair. ‘Now that sounds pre y bloody feasible, Bazza. A single Tim Tam biscuit eh?’ ‘That’s right, Mick. But it’s important to a ach the ea ng of the Tim Tam biscuit to something you do regularly. According to Clive Palmer and Craig Kelly, for example, they always eat a Tim Tam a er they send a text message.’ ‘Bloody amazing, Bazza, simple cure for all those problems, but what about the obesity issue?’ ‘As I said Mick, s ll in the experimenta on stage, but they reckon if you eat half the quota of Tim Tams upside down it reverses the effects of any weight gain. Unfortunately, there is one condi on it does not treat.’ Mick was now on the edge of his seat and his eyes zeroed in on Bazza.

Vol 16 September 15th 2017 Vol 28 December 7th, 2017 Vol 48 April 27th 2018