BEAU Magazine Autumn 2015 Issue

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B E AU M AG | FA LL 2016

Contents

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5 L OCA L H APPENINGS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE Why We Love Devon Turner. 8 LOCA L H APPENINGS BEAUTIFUL LIFE Ryan White party photos.

18 TRIBUTE F OR ORLANDO BEAUTIFUL LIFE Charleston pays tribute to the lives lost in the Orlando shooting.

39 ONE WILD FAMILY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE Jen and Kara discuss their path to starting a family.

20 LOCAL HAPPENINGS BEAUTIFUL LIFE Pride Week Photos.

43 I S YOU R D OG H IG H ? FUR B EAU ’s

1 0 B OOK REVIEW BEAU BOOK REVIEW Irritable Bowels And The People Who Give You Them by Terry Sweeney.

21 LOCAL HAPPENINGS BEAUTIFUL LIFE Ryan White Wellness Center thanks local restaurants and patrons.

1 1 L OCA L H A PPENINGS BEAUTIFUL LIFE Christmas in July photos.

22 BEAU F EATURE BEAUTIFUL LIFE One City, One Soul.

14 W HY WE LOVE JA S ON KIRK BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

30 EVERYONE UNDER THE rai nBEAU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE Best of OUT Crowd Profiles.

Charleston’s OUT Crowd

Fall Edition FRONT COVER PHOTO BY: ABIGAIL MARIE FEATURING: RENEÉ SALSBURY (L) AND RAE CARLERS

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44 WHY WE CHOOSE LOVE SAME SEX IN THE CITY A single, gay man’s perspective on Charleston’s dating scene. 45 WHY WE LOVE DESIREE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE 46 SU E ’ S HORO SC OPE S BEAU’DIACS A look at seasonal horoscopes guided by the larger planets


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Contributors SPECIAL THANKS TO

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS C.C. BOURGEOIS DOUGLAS CARR CUNNINGHAM EMILY DZIUBAN SUE “KRONELLA” HANDLEY TOPHER LARKIN

Maria Rivers Publisher publisher@beau-magazine.com

Abigail Marie Art Director Lead Photographer nonpareilphoto@gmail.com

SUSAN MARETT JENN MUCKELVANEY RAY GREEN-MCCANIC MARIA RIVERS STEVEN WILLARD

CONTRIBUTING GRAPHIC ARTISTS BRANDON HUNTER

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS IVETA BUTLER

Jenn Muckelvaney

Brandon Hunter

Social Media Director

Marketing Coordinator, Sales

Facebook.com/ BEAUMagazineCharleston

bhunter@beau-magazine.com

Ray Green-McCanic

Dixie Fanning

Intern Extraordinaire

Graphic Design dixie@designfromdixie.com

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DOUGLAS CARR CUNNINGHAM CHRISTINA O’BRIEN DAN FOLK

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BE AU MAG | BEAU TI FUL P E O P L E

Why We Love Devon

W R I TTE N B Y: RAY GREEN-MCCANIC Devon Turner is a familiar face and name to much of Charleston’s OUT crowd. Originally from the small town of Towanda, Pennsylvania (where you go to the same school from PK to 12th grade with the same people), Devon moved to the Holy City to attend The College of Charleston which was far from the comforts of home. Devon was an active member on the college campus and enjoyed the fresh start that allowed him to learn who he truly was. Devon first came out to his freshman college friends, who were all loving and supportive. Upon graduation in 2014, Devon felt the need to be a part of a bigger community and joined the Charleston Pride Board. Through this experience he was able to learn about the LGBTQ community and issues that surround it. Since then, Devon has proudly served and is currently the Secretary and Director of Sponsorship for Charleston Pride.

Outside of Charleston Pride, Devon works for a tech start up, managing technical issues and answering product questions for clients. He also is an active part of the Charleston County Democratic Party which afforded him the opportunity to attend the South Carolina Democratic Convention as a delegate for our next POTUS. When he has free time, Devon can be found on the beach reading, going to catch a scary movie, or trying to find a great deal at the outlet. Devon says “I love reading. I’m currently reading three books and have a line-up of ten books including the new Harry Potter! Devon encourages those rising in the community to always keep an open mind because the community is full of diversity, talent, and beautiful people. There is much to be learned from people who have differing opinions, ideas, and background. 3

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B E AU M AG | P U BLI SHER’S NOTE

Publisher’s Note

By the time you read this, I will be gone. I am the lingering feeling of bleakness and powerlessness. I practice complacency with heavy doses of anger so that I can feel the adrenaline, mostly because that’s all I can feel anymore. I strive for nothing. I’m ugly, I’m dumpy, and I’m pathetic. I hate people because I hate myself. But I don’t know that, or at least acknowledge it, mostly because that would mean I no longer exist. Who am I? I’m your pain. I guess if you made it through the top paragraph, you’re probably interested and yet a little confused at what the hell I’m trying to say. You can relax; I’m not suicidal or depressed. It’s actually quite the opposite. Right now, it’s August 10th. It’s PRIDE week in Charleston. Dixie, our Designer/Layout Artist is waiting on my Publisher’s note so layout can finish, and we can go to print. But I cannot for the life of me figure out what to say. Honestly, and without regret, I must say that I’m enthusiastic about the future because I operate resiliently through chaos. I’m watching relationships get torn apart through this presidential election; hurtful and painful sarcasm spoken and acted on with conviction and then celebrated. The Orlando shooting has shaken us the most. ISIS is like cancer. They do not discriminate on their victims. In this time we have to find peace within to exude the peace throughout. The path to enlightenment involves finding peace in every breath and to breathe without labor. Am I the only one holding my breath right now? Jaw clenched with tongue pressed against the mouth’s roof? The “Unity Speech” will never get old to this activist. I am excited about this chaos because it gives us all the chance to learn and radiate the most powerful weapon in the world… love. So as it is, in order to attain this golden dagger, we have to first let go of the fear and loathing inside. People hate what they fear the most, and they fear it because it represents what they hate about themselves. Loving yourself is the first breath. By the time you read this, I will be in an in-depth process of working on turning my pain to love. I’m not embarrassed to say it will be a long journey, but worth every step.

Create Fearlessly…and breathe. n MARIA RIVERS Publisher@BEAU-Magazine.com

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RYAN WHITE PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER: CHRISTINA O’BRIEN 8 | B E AU - M AG A ZI NE.CO M


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B E AU M AG | BEAU BO O K REV I EW

Book Review Finding Home in South Carolina: Terry Sweeney’s Funny Adventures

Folks living on South Carolina’s incomparably gorgeous coastline see life a bit differently than folks in hustlebustle cities. Terry Sweeney has lived in New York City and Los Angeles and in Beaufort, South Carolina with his long-time partner, Lanier Laney. “In LA, I had a living but not a life,” Sweeney says, “In Beaufort, I have life.” He has written hysterically about all three cities in his debut essay collection, Irritable Bowels and The People Who Give You Them (Beaufort: Duke Street Press, 2015. 121 pages. $19.95.). The collection is well worth your time and money. Sweeney was the first openly gay actor on Saturday Night Live, famously spoofing Nancy Reagan in 1986, and he co-wrote the 1989 film Shag, which is set in South Carolina. When setting out to write Irritable Bowels, Sweeney recognized that “Southerners tell a lot of good stories. They appreciate literature and have a long history of it.” He wanted to join the tradition. For years, Sweeney and Laney wrote for film and television in New York and Los Angeles. In 2006 they bought an 18th Century “mansionette” in Beaufort, a beautiful town ninety minutes south of Charleston which many Charlestonians turn into a weekend destination. Sweeney says that when they moved to Beaufort, he and Laney had a full dance card. They were touted all around town and treated like they were “visiting pandas from China.” When Sweeney and Laney married in New York in 2012 before marriage was legal in every state, 45 people from Beaufort flew up to attend the ceremony.

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Sweeney calls Charleston a “dream city” for painters and writers. On one visit to Charleston, Sweeney and Laney met famed Charlestonian Pat Conroy, who first suggested Beaufort to them. On another, they rented a house on


Christmas in July at Dudly’s Photographer: Dan Folk B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 11


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tough cookie deserving of her own book, regularly made life challenging for young, gay Terry. In one essay, Sweeney’s mother tells him he must produce grandchildren for her. To this, Sweeney thinks: “Perhaps you haven’t noticed, dear women, that I have taken off all my macho Zorro doll’s clothes except for his black cape and mask and now have him riding on his black plastic stallion.” Queen Street and rode bikes everywhere, including to James and Johns Islands. “All we did was eat, eat, eat and think: now I’ve gone to the heavens,” Sweeney says. He likes to watch Charleston’s dramatic sky, which he compares to trying to guess an actress’s shifting mood. Sweeney wrote his essay collection as if his readers and he were sitting around the table and just laughing and talking. “I have my shortcomings and my faults,” he says. “Gay people have had to hide who we are and feel judged. As a subculture, we grow up more defensive and wanting to be better.” By the book’s end, the narrative arc follows Sweeney showing more and more of his funny, authentic self, not only in the big cities but also in Beaufort. Many of the collection’s essays explore times when being gay created challenges, yet Sweeney finds what is funny in those moments. “It is vital to come in with a sense of humor,” says Sweeney. In “The Happy Wino,” Sweeney describes taking a job as a Sommelier in a fine dining restaurant when money became tight. He called himself the Gaytre D’ and the Sommeligay. “The strongest way to break down stereotypes of us is if you are just funny about it,” he says. Sweeney is most endearing when he turns his sharp-yet-loving humor on himself. His mother, an unapologetic 12 | B E AU - M AG AZI NE.CO M

Sweeney says, “My husband, Lanier and I celebrated 34 years together. He is the most wonderful man. I thought I was coming back here for him because he missed the South so much. It turns out I came for me as much for him. I got so much.”

He wasn’t born here or raised here, but I say we claim Sweeney as one of our own. 3



Why We LOVE Jason Kirk

When did you move to Charleston and why? I moved to Charleston in 2007. I would love to say I chose Charleston because I love it now, but I moved here from Seattle with my ex who was in the Navy. We were here for four years before his next assignment took us to Jacksonville where I lived for four more years. At that point, I was on my own, and the world was open before me. It was an easy decision to move back here – Charleston just had my heart, and I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world. I am lucky that I was able to convince my better half, Clark, to move here. Living in Charleston while you are in love – that’s a whole new level of happiness, and I feel very lucky. What do you love most about the LGBTA community here? I love that the LGBTA community is really waking up to our own power, our own voice. We are asking for rights and justice, and we are no longer standing in the background just hoping to not make waves or to just fit in. We are coming into our own, and we are a force for good and for change. We are embracing new people who are coming from near and far and allowing this new generation to take the reins and continue to impact our community in positive ways that build upon all of the hard work from decades past. It really feels like a turning of the page here in Charleston, and I am happy to be a small part of this exciting time.

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B E AU M AG | BEAU TI FU L P EO P LE

Why We LOVE Jason Kirk…continued

(

Tell us a little about your passion for helping other?

I left a great post doing PR for a big San Francisco software company and moved back to Seattle after my college days – I just felt like I wasn’t making a difference to anyone but myself. I took a job with an international adoption agency making 1/3 of what I made in PR, and it didn’t matter – the feeling of making a difference to others was what I found really drove me. Since then, I have almost exclusively worked in development/fundraising for nonprofits. When I moved to Charleston the first time, I found a great home at the South Carolina Aquarium, and they were such a welcoming family to me. Now, back in Charleston for a second time, I am so excited to be Director of Development for Lowcountry AIDS Services. Working in the HIV/AIDS arena has always been a passion of mine. I lost one of my best friends to this epidemic in my early 20s and that really affected me and made me understand the terrible effects that HIV can have on people. Helping others through my work and advocacy is one small way I can keep our community safer and more educated. What can we expect in the future with LAS and your outreach in the LGBT community? It is an unfortunate truth that the HIV epidemic still disproportionately affects the LGBTA community. With the passionate leadership of our Executive Director, Bradley Childs, we are redoubling our efforts to reach those within our community who are most at risk for HIV through our outreach and our free HIV and STI testing we do each Monday through Thursday. Our motto is Know Now. Know How. And one of the easiest ways we can help prevent 16 | B E AU - M AG AZI NE.CO M

further HIV cases is for everyone to know their status and, if they are HIV-positive, to help them get the medical care and services they need so they can live healthier, more sustainable lives. Whether this outreach takes the form of offsite testing at bars or awareness campaigns or even direct community interactions into high risk communities, we continue to be the only private or public organization in our area (Berkeley, Charleston & Dorchester counties) whose sole purpose is to assist individuals living with HIV/ AIDS while working to prevent new cases. We also like to have a good time as we raise funds to do the important work we do each and every day. Our newest event is Gay Bingo, which will take place on Tuesday, August 9 at Memminger Auditorium during Charleston Pride. This fun evening, emceed by the incomparable Patti O’Furniture, will raise funds and awareness for LAS and our mission in a setting that is welcoming to the entire LGBTA community here in Charleston! What do you love most about Charleston in general? It might sound trite, but I love the people. Especially the people who are working their tails off trying to make this beautiful city more welcoming and more progressive. People like We Are Family’s Melissa Moore, an amazing leader for our LGBTA youth. And Chase Glenn who has made Charleston Pride a yearlong celebration of diversity and outreach, not just a parade. Or even Daniel Brinker, who has taken his businesses and made them into welcoming spaces for our community and paired these successful endeavors with a giving spirit that truly makes a difference in the lives of others. I could go on and there are so many other people who are what I truly love most about Charleston, but that would take a novel. 3


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Tribute On Monday, June 13th, less than 24 hours after the deadly Orlando Pulse Nightclub shooting, AFFA and Charleston PRIDE organized a candlelight vigil in honor of the victims and their grieving families. Police recorded over 1100 Charleston residents who gathered to show support. Less than a week from the one year anniversary of the AME massacre, a very diverse and concerned Charleston once again gathered in somber silence, confused by more senseless killings, but hopeful for peace. “It was powerful to see so many members of the Charleston community come together for the vigil honoring the victims of the Orlando Pulse Nightclub shooting. This display of unity from black, white, gay, straight, transgender, cisgender, people of different religions and everyone

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for Orlando

Photos By; Dan Folk

in between was an amazing tribute to both the support for our community and our collective desire to continue our fight for justice and equality,” says Chase Glenn, Chair of Charleston Pride. “The majority of the victims were LGBT people of color who were gathered in one of the few safe spaces that exist for this segment of our community. This was a reminder of the intersection of LGBT discrimination and racial discrimination and a call to action to continue our work for justice, as well as a challenge to those of us in leadership to recognize and respect these safe spaces and to make space for people of color to lead in the struggle against violence and discrimination. I'm hopeful that when we come together as a community, making space for all people and listening to all voices, that we'll see real progress in our fight for acceptance.” 3

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2016 Gay Pride Parade Photographer: Douglas Carr Cunningham


Ryan White Wellness Center Thanks Local Restaurants and Patrons Topher Larkin, Outreach Specialist

The Ryan White Wellness Center of Roper St. Francis Healthcare would like to express our deepest gratitude to our dedicated and generous Dining Out for Life (DOFL) restaurants and patrons! Since 2011, the Ryan White Wellness Center has hosted this annual event to raise awareness about HIV and raise funds to continue our mission – to create an HIV-free Lowcountry.

MacIntosh**, Michael's on the Alley, Muse Restaurant and Wine Bar**, Oak Steakhouse**, O-Ku**, Pane e Vino**, Rita's Seaside Grille, Santi Mt. Pleasant, Santi Downtown***, The Glass Onion, Tin Roof, Tomasso at Turtle Point, Victor Social Club, Vincent Chiccos Key

A record-breaking 40 restaurants (including food trucks and bars) participated in DOFL this year, expanding the event into Summerville, Mt. Pleasant, West Ashley and of course, Downtown. Without a doubt, Charleston is a foodie town known for its hospitality. We love to eat! We love to try new foods. And we especially love to support our local businesses that give back to the community because we understand the impact on the lives of people who benefit from such generosity. Thanks to our DOFL restaurants and dedicated patrons, the Ryan White Wellness Center raised over $70,000 this year – the highest in the organization’s DOFL history!

Dining Out for Life is an international event in more than 60 cities across North America held on the last Thursday in April. The Ryan White Wellness Center proudly engages a variety of restaurants to accommodate all budgets and tastes. On the designated Thursday, patrons eat at participating DOFL restaurants and a predetermined portion of the restaurants’ sales are donated to the Ryan White Wellness Center. As the popularity of this event increases throughout the US, tourist and locals alike are taking note to see if their favorite restaurant makes “the list”.

Check out the names below to see if your favorite restaurant made the list!

The Ryan White Wellness Center, a federally-funded HIV program of Roper St. Francis that provides comprehensive medical care, case management, support services, and annual outreach and awareness events. The Ryan White Wellness Center also provides PrEP (preexposure prophylaxis) – a revolutionary preventative pill that when used correctly can reduce the risk of HIV transmission by up to 90%.

Another Broken Egg Café, Anson Restaurant**, Atlantic Room, Autobahn, Bac'n Me Crazy Food Truck, Bluerose Cafe***, Cast Iron Food Truck**, Charleston Caribbean Creole Food Truck, Cherrywood BBQ & Ale House, Cocktail Club**, Craft Conundrum, Cru Cafe**, Cure Nightclub, Dudley's, Dulce Food Truck**, Edmund's Oast, EMS, Five Loaves Café, Five Loaves Mt. Pleasant, Five Loaves Summerville, Food Baby, Food Box, Gathering Cafe, Halls Chophouse***, Indaco, King Of Pops, Lost Dog Café,

* those that donate 50% or $3,500, ** those that have participated for 4 years or more, ***both

About the Ryan White Wellness Center

For more information about the Ryan White Wellness Center services or events: Topher Larkin, topher.larkin@rsfh.com B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 21


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Charleston:

One City, One Soul Only recently did I realize my mother is at the core of my motivation for Charleston: One City, One Soul. Would she be impressed, or would she say, “Keep my name out of it?” I don’t know. Mom is no longer here to tell me, but I am betting the latter. Honestly, maybe it was my parents doing - their fault. I have always felt a bit different and apart from others, from the earliest I can remember. Why? I cannot definitely say. When my mother gave birth to her first brown baby in 1947, I am certain she never knew what was coming along with it (I mean, with me). Then, she gave birth to my brother Mike, another brown baby, which definitely,

WRITTEN BY: DOUGLAS CARR CUNNINGHAM PHOTOGRAPHY BY: DOUGLAS CARR CUNNINGHAM AND IVETA BUTLER

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irrevocably set in motion circumstances she probably hadn’t thought about – the beginnings of my feeling different – and a confirmation of the dual life she would lead.

I am 68, I see that though I’ve longed to be one with others, in commonality with others, I am still different. In some ways I am different because I believe we should celebrate our unity as human beings, not divide ourselves with diverse labels. There must be a way to assert our rights without the feelings of being different.

Virginia Lee Colvin could have made the choice to be “white.” She had all the features; hazel-eyed and everything. She married James Cunningham, a proud, black man in Jim Crow Greensboro, and I We’ve suffered too much pain in this was the first result. Today, I am labeled a country from the divisions we’ve created. black man. And, I My mother am, but also not. suffered all her “For me, the word Unity means harmony and life, being a sharing. We are all the same species,sharing the Shouldn’t we black woman same basic feelings. With our photography, we are realize America in a pale body. trying to bring to the surface things we all have in is a crazy place Rep. Robert common…” to grow up, Doughton, – Iveta Butler in regards to a Democrat race and status chairman of in society? We classify. We label. We the House Ways and Means Committee, divide. We divide on race. We divide on is who we suspect was my mother’s religion, class, and sexual preference biological father in 1928, her mother or orientation. As a teenager, I’d had a teen-aged black maid in his home. enough of that, vowing to be myself, not He was in his 60s. Mom, a blue-eyed, be identified as part of a group. Now that blond infant, was adopted twice. The B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 23




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first family was white, the second family black, in Greensboro, North Carolina. Doughton was principle sponsor of the Social Security Act of 1935, signed by Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt. It took nearly a lifetime for Mom to connect the dots from her childhood. I hadn’t a clue until at the end of my 20-year military career. Mom would not share the fine details of her personal, family pain. Doughton never acknowledged her before he died in 1954. Nana and Great-Grandma resisted attempts by social services to re-locate this white infant. Over time, my mother became as black inside as anyone with a certain skin color. When she was a full adult, everyone thought she was white and conversed with her in that context. It hurt and angered her deeply, when this connection eventually gave way to low comments about black Americans or coloreds, not in polite language. This was all through the ‘40s, ‘50s, ‘60s. This awareness of living in two worlds took its

toll throughout her life. Mom refused the opportunities she might have had, if she had claimed her “whiteness,” because she was black through and through. In those days, passing for white was a better road to prosperity. James, my Pop, was born in Spartanburg, South Carolina. His mother, my grandmother, grew up in Blair, SC, outside of Winnsboro. Her family dates from 1867 there, after slavery was abolished. My people up there worked through Reconstruction - sold insurance, owned land, sold cars, set up businesses and made a life, until Jim Crow put a damper on it. I am certain my ancestral family emerged from slavery. Grandma worked as a domestic her whole life, except for working in the cotton warehouses in her teenage years. In the ‘50s my father was a trusted chauffeur for a rich New York family. He worked his way into becoming an insurance agent but was only allowed black customers. There were few. At the end of his life, he told me he was grateful for his large family, and the love it brought to him, but he lamented his missed opportunities as a young, ambitious man. Two of my daughters could be members of the Daughters of the American Revolution, if they cared enough. My ex-wife, their mother, is connected directly to Abraham Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks,

“Sometimes, we are so deeply swimming in our differences, that we’re forgetting about an important thing - to see what we actually share together. We are looking for a similar Joy, as we live. Our priorities are not much different.” – Iveta Butler 26 | B E AU - M AGAZI NE.CO M


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and Col. William Bradford at Plymouth Rock. The lineage has been traced. My oldest daughter is part Filipino. My wife, Cheryl, and her daughters connect directly to Portugal.

the real truth can heal and set us all free. But it is a hard road, as we are constantly manipulated for power and greed. We must resist difference and embrace our Unity. Hopefully, we can avoid labels and be One People.

So, it is like this. I am the descendant of a white politician and his servant - one foot in power and one foot in slavery past. My mother was white, but grew up proudly black. My daughters are connected to the Philippines, Portugal and the founding of America. I will not repudiate these connections by taking sides. I am who I am. I might be just like everyone else in this country, too (look up Slaves in the Family by Edward Ball, or Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson).

My friend and photo partner, Iveta Butler (I call her ‘Girl from Slovakia’) encouraged our collaboration for Charleston: One City, One Soul. She was inspired to use heritage film photography to connect with the people we met and to get their stories. With an outsider’s eye, Iveta shared with me her puzzlement that this great country, a land professing to be free, had so much division and strife within its people.

America is like this, if only we would acknowledge our connections. We suffer from so much secrecy, hate and difference over false truths. I believe that with a forward-looking heart, it is possible

But Iveta and I agree that the people we photographed were disarming and lovely people. They gave us a small piece of themselves and showed their deep humanness. Simply put, they are “us.”

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B E AU MAG | BEAU FE ATUR E

It was an interesting year we spent on Charleston streets, getting photos and stories. It feels good to use art to touch upon social issues and be positive. We might never see these people again, but every photograph breathes its story, including all the smiles we had a chance to know� - Iveta Butler 3

Douglas Carr Cunningham 843-442-7424 douglascarrcunningham@live.com

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B E AU M AG | B EAU TI FU L P EO P LE

Everyone Under the

rainBEAU!

Photography by Abigail Marie We asked Charleston’s OUT Crowd to nominate their favorite person or business that embodies a true representation of standing OUT in the community. The people featured are strong allies in the LGBT movement in Charleston. We are all made up of straight or cisgender, gay,

bisexual, lesbian, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, quite frankly I don’t care as long as everyone gets along, and EVERYONE under our precious rainBEAU. LOVE WINS, and these are some of the BEAUtiful People that live this message OUT LOUD and PROUD.

Dr. Stephanie Singleton A Georgia native, Stephanie opened her own private practice in Mt. Pleasant and Savannah. Through the years, The Fertility Center of Charleston team has helped many LGBT families across the Carolinas and Georgia achieve their dream of parenthood. "I believe that listening is the first step in uncovering the mystery of infertility. We consider every patient a member of our family," says Dr. Singleton. "The decision to grow your family is a very personal one, and every LGBT family is unique in their preferences of how to make that dream of parenthood come to fruition.”

Barbara Brant-Williams Barbara moved to Charleston in 1985 and fell in love with the weather and the genuinely kind nature of the community. In 2011, she started "Your Grooming Guru" in West Ashley. "I diligently researched the products I use, always seeking the cleanest, most effective hair, skin and body holistic care products.” With 43+ years in the beauty industry, and now practicing holistic hairdressing, Barbara is dedicated to educating both clients and peers in promoting the benefits of nontoxic and cruelty-free hair products.

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Everyone Under the

rainBEAU! Tonya Henderson

Originally from West Ashley, Tonya studied at Charleston Southern University, majoring in music therapy. “I wanted to be able to give back through music in the way that it helped me,” says Tonya. “Music gives me a sense of stability. It grounds me.” Tonya is the type of person who loves to gives back and continues to do this using music. Tonya currently plays in the Jameson Alley Band that is booked throughout Charleston. Along with music, she practices sign language and helps MUSC with interpreting.

Ray Green-McCanic Native Charlestonian, Ray is currently studying integrative marketing and communications at Winthrop University. Ray believes in the phrase, “Do it because they say you can’t.” “Not necessarily breaking the rules,” says Ray, “but more like doing it because ‘they’ say you can’t. Live the life that’s perfect for you. And if it doesn’t exist… create it!” The ARTS have inspired him into the Drag world. “If I had to inspire someone else, I would say, “Don’t be afraid to live that extra life. It’s extraordinary.”

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Everyone Under the

rainBEAU!

Jamie Lupini Jamie moved to South Carolina 26 years ago from Pennsylvania to complete her internship in music therapy. “Charleston has a great sense of community! People are blind to color, abilities, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation-especially coming together in times of turmoil. In addition, I find that our specific community is very supportive of the local musicians and artists.”

Jim Nettles Jim moved back to Charleston from DC in an effort to create roots in his hometown. He is a former professional body builder, currently a personal trainer and author. Jim is currently working on his second novel inspired by a gay soldier in the Civil War, stationed at Fort Moultrie on Sullivan’s Island. “I was in a bodybuilding contest, and backstage beforehand, the biggest, most developed competitor was bent over a large trash can, puking his guts out. I watched this huge, tanned, and perfect (in my view) physical specimen being wheeled out on a stretcher. I’ve always been intrigued by the intersection of bodybuilding as, on the one hand, a real sport with athletes who are often considered the physical ideal, and on the other hand, an arguably very erotic and psychologically complex endeavor.” B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 33


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Everyone Under the

rainBEAU! Sharnae Warren

Sharnae grew up in Charleston as the oldest of her family. She loves working with children, but her passion lies specifically with delinquent kids. “I always tell them this is just one wrong turn you made. It only takes one step in the right direction to get back on track. If you come from the bottom and work your way up, you will never accept failure because you have had a taste of success.”

Rae Carlers (R)

Reneé Salisbury (L)

After retiring in Ft. Washington, Maryland, Rae moved to Charleston to open another chapter in her vibrant life. You might see her at the Ashley Marina, VA Hospital, and at any of the local performance centers. “Sometimes, we become content with the normalcy of life; that’s not the way I choose to live my life. I plan to take advantage of all Charleston has to offer. I am living life with great expectations!”

Migrating to Charleston from Las Vegas, Reneé refers to Charleston as “one of the sweetest places to live.” She loves the “Mayberry” appeal and kindness of her Johns Island community. “I think sometimes you just can’t plan life; you just have to live it. My passion in life is being a vegan and involved in animal rights for domestic pets, factory farming etc.… I’m guessing someone up there has picked my path.”

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B E AU M AG | B EAU TI FU L P EO P LE

Everyone Under the

rainBEAU! Abigail Marie

Nine years ago, fresh out of college and ready for an adventure, she made the move to Charleston from Pennsylvania. She began her photography career in 2008 creating Non Pa Reil Photography. “Many people are camera shy because they are critical of their appearance and how it may compare to social standards of beauty. I shun social standards and make beautiful portraits of people no matter what. In my eyes, everyone has beauty. I aim to inspire and uplift the souls in front of my camera.”

Tanya Christopher Native Charlestonian, Tanya started studying and teaching Pole Fitness at the age of 25 and opened Amorous Dance Pole and Fitness in 2011. She has found Charleston to be extremely open to all different types of lifestyles. “One would think living in the ‘Holy City’ would probably be an extremely judgmental place. From my experience here as a business owner with a lesbian lifestyle, I can tell you I have never had a negative experience from anyone in the Lowcountry.”

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B E AU M AG | B EAU TI FU L P EO P LE

Everyone Under the

rainBEAU! Karl Venegas

Karl has lived in Charleston for about 15 years now. Originally from New York, he needed a fresh start and a get away from the cold weather. He loves the supportive, close-nit community here and the culture Charleston has to offer. He believes that no matter what happens, Charleston’s community will always have each other’s back. However, the first place you need to look is within yourself. “There are people out there who are determined to break you down. Look at yourself in the mirror and know that sometimes the harshest critic is you. At the end of the day, you have to realize who exactly are you trying to please…yourself, or everyone else?”

Dr. Stephen Khouri Born in Jamaica, Stephen migrated to Charleston with his family when he was 6. At age 7, a tree limb fell on him, messing him up pretty badly. His mom’s friend, Ms. Paula Belfiore referred him to Dr. Corbin Fox, a local chiropractor. Dr. Fox inspired him through chiropractic healing. Later, Dr. Michel Ritchie and Dr. Ralph Roles cemented his career choice and in 2002, Khouri Chiropractic was born. He loves working with the body’s innate healing by removing subluxations and spinal misalignments. “Your health is yours and doctors are just human mechanics. Be inspired and informed about ways to improve your health everyday. It’s the only thing you’ll have until you pass!”

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B E AU MAG | BEAU TI FUL L I FE

One Family!

In the fall of 2011, Cupid’s arrow soared through the air and imbedded in two college women manifesting love,and family. Four years later, Jen and Kara and their two babies, Harper and Kennedy, live a happy and healthy life in Charleston. Many questions and concerns arise when same sex couples decide to start a family. With most relationships, there are always hurdles. BEAU Magazine asked if they would share their story in efforts to give our readership a better understanding of how “life” works when two woman begin a family together. There are many ways that same sex couples can bring children into the world and/or adopt their children. This is their story: At what point in your relationship did you know that you are ready for a child? Honestly, from very early on, we both knew that we had found ‘our person,’ so talking about our future together - travelling, getting married, and starting a family happened pretty early because it just felt natural. (Kara) We met at school, so I had the privilege of watching Jen teach. Her students (actually ALL students) think she is a rock star. She has an enormous level of respect for them and incredible expectations that she somehow pushes them to meet, no matter what the circumstances. I knew I would be lucky to have children with her the moment I saw her interact with other people’s children. (Jen) Kara’s right about our environment impacting how we saw each other as moms someday. I would come to the gym to pick up my class and not be able to find the teacher in the room because there she was playing on the scooters with the kids, just as sweaty as them, laughing just as loud, making sure every kid felt involved and important…I just imagined that same laughter and fun in our backyard someday. B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 39


B E AU M AG | B EAU TI FU L LI FE

What (if any) concerns do you feel may arise from raising a child (children) as a same-sex couple? We are thrilled to say that because of the amazing people that came before us to fight for equality for same-sex families and the progress that has been made, especially recently, most of our concerns are just like any new parents. Will one of the twins swallow a marble or their pet goldfish? Will they fall, bump their mouth, and have grey teeth until 1st grade? The truth is, we are already working hard to raise Harper and Kennedy to be confident, and they just celebrated their 1st birthday. Our goal is that when they are faced with the classmate that teases them about having two moms or they feel left out of a daddy/ daughter function at school, we will have raised them to know that both of them, and we as a family, are exactly how we are supposed to be. That a family is not defined by who the people are, but by how those people love you. How difficult was (is) the conceiving process emotionally and physically? Because the process took us about two years, there was quite a variety of emotions along the way. You start off totally overwhelmed, but blissfully optimistic. Then, you hear bad news. Looking back, we are really proud of how we handled each try. We truly believed that each of them was the one that would work. We took pictures and made a video each morning of our six tries, knowing that one of them would make it into a baby book. After each time we heard no, it would take time to get ourselves back to a place where trying again felt right. We learned throughout the process, and with 40 | B E AU - M AG AZI NE.CO M

each try we kept the details of the process more and more private. By the time we got to our successful attempt, only Jen and I knew what day we would hear the news of whether it was successful or not. We have a support system like no other. Our families are amazing, and our friends are like family. We knew they were cheering for us, praying for us and hurting with us, even if we weren’t talking about it every day. It worked for us to live our lives and be going through fertility treatment rather than our lives being consumed by the fertility treatment. How do you prepare for the lifestyle change? We have two answers to this impossible question. One is what we actually did to prepare and the other is our “in hindsight” answer. We did make a million “to-do” lists, we did read many books, we did follow several apps tracking the pregnancy, we did take every class MUSC offers, and we did talk through every situation that we thought could come up. Then they came. In hindsight, those things we did made us feel prepared, but the only preparation you really need is a really great couch for when you are up all hours of the night snuggling tiny babies, unconditional love that drives you to do anything and everything your little ones need and, most importantly, an understanding that these perfect little creatures only exist because of the love we have for each other and a commitment to keep that love present and strong. What type of process of insemination (donor: friend? fertility clinic? anonymous? process: why? Expectations?) One of the best choices we made in this process was working with The Fertility Center of Charleston. They were


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B E AU M AG | B EAU TI FU L LI FE

incredible throughout the entire journey and were with us through each of our ups and downs. The team at FCoC will always hold a special place in our hearts for their role in helping us start a family. We chose to use a sperm bank that had strict guidelines on anonymity and restrictions on how many births each donor was connected to. The one we chose allowed us to see details such as lifetime photos, an audio interview, and a detailed family health history. Though we knew we wanted the donor to be anonymous, we felt like it was important to choose someone that shared our personalities and interests. We basically wanted to find a guy that if we could have met him, we would have called him a good friend. How long does the process that you both have chosen (or had chosen) take and what are some hurdles you can share to be aware of? From start to finish, about two years. Some of the hurdles along the way were ones we had prepared ourselves for such as unsuccessful tries, the financial burden of each try, and the complex schedule of medications and appointments necessary for each. There were other hurdles,

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however, that we did not see coming. As if being pregnant with twins was not already a dream come true, it was during this time that lawmakers got on the right side of history and legalized same-sex marriage! We were married before the girls were born and thought this would grant us both a spot on their birth certificate guaranteeing us parental rights. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and we had to hire a lawyer and go to court to get this accomplished. We were fortunate that Stephanie Brinkley has committed herself to “keeping families first� and is an expert in resolving issues that samesex families face. She turned a stressful situation into a celebration when both of us were granted full parental rights and named as the mothers of Harper Reid and Kennedy Grace Wilde.


B E AU MAG |FUR B E AUs

Clients are surprised when I suggest their dog is “under the influence.” When they reflect on their dog’s recent over-reacting to a situation in which they might normally cope like a civilized canine, it makes sense. Higher-thanusual stress hormone levels may leave your pet taking on the other neighborhood dogs like a drunk at a bar. You’ve had bad days, too. Work delays due to an unexpected outfit change from spilled coffee, traffic pile-up and a line for the elevator all in the same morning can become all too much. With each event, your stress level compounds. You are less able to deal with the next surprising incident. Find your own behavior diminishing with each passing event? Tempers may flare and patience wears thin more quickly when multiple stressors happen in short order. This is referred to as “trigger stacking.” Cortisol and adrenaline rise during stressful situations as part of the internal “flight or fight” mechanism we all need to stay safe and survive. It’s nature’s way of helping us protect ourselves. The same happens with our pets. Stress would usually diminish over time, but when stacked, it’s more difficult for them to calm, and this can push the dog over their stress threshold causing them to react.

Is Your Dog High?

Under normal stressful circumstances, these hormones can take 5-8 hours to leave the body. When “stacked,” stressors can affect normal behavior patterns for days or even weeks in cases of chronic stress. Even young born to highly stressed mothers react to stress with higher levels of cortisol and need more time for levels to decrease. Turid Rugaas, Norwegian dog trainer, author and noted canine body language expert, asks shelters to wait six days or more to allow dogs to acclimate before making behavior-based euthanasia decisions. Digestion, immunity, and energy usage are compromised in the face of trigger stacking. So, it’s easy to see why careful attention to our own stress levels and our pet’s is so vital. Common Stressors •Too much or too little physical exercise or socialization •Inconsistency or major changes in daily routines •Lack of mental stimulation •Harsh or bullying training methods •Pain from new or old injury or ailment •New or frightening situations. If you notice unusual fear or reactivity in your dog, allow them relief from stressors for up to a week to decompress and cope. 3

W R ITTEN B Y: C.C. B O U RG E O I S & S U S A N M A R E TT Visit CanineConfidenceUniversity. com where C.C. Bourgeois and Susan Marett specialize in helping your anxious or fearful dog. B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 43


B E AU M AG | S A ME SEX I N THE CI T Y

We Choose

LVE

A school, a movie theater, a holiday office party, a church, and a nightclub are places we’ve probably all been to. They’re places we’ve never questioned our safety. But now, all that is different. The attack on Orlando runs deeper than an attack on a gay bar. For many of us, the bar is our safe space, our sanctuary. Where we safely meet, flirt, dance with and maybe kiss each other. It’s been the “safe space” we wouldn’t be called names or bullied. Now, that feels stripped away from us, but not just as LGTB people. Instead of an attack on LGBT individuals, we as Americans have once again been attacked on our own soil. I think about how many times I used to watch the news, pre 9/11, and see reports on bombs going off in market places in other countries. I’d watch with compassion and even pity. I’d think how fortunate we are to live in a country where that wasn’t a reality. And now, this reality continues to take our fellow Americans’ lives. Am I sad, scared, and angry? No, I am pissed. But, if we’ve learned anything in the aftermath of the A.M.E shooting, it’s that anger will not heal or save us. It is unity within our community. It’s love. I went to the vigil for Orlando and saw so many familiar faces. Faces I’d normally seen in low overhead lighting, or through dry ice on a dance floors. Some were laughing with friends and catching up with people. However, if you looked beyond this and locked eyes with someone for more than a second you saw grief. You felt the unspoken acknowledgement that “this” could have been “us.” Where do we go from here? We go on. How we choose is up to us. Not just as a community, but as individuals. Personally, I’m tired of playing small. The number on my waistband, or in my bank account doesn’t define me. My age is not a liability, but a privilege. So many Orlando victims didn’t make it to the halfway mark of my 48 years. For me to deny that is an act of cowardice and disrespect to them. My “humor,” the catty sarcastic way of speaking to, and sometimes about people, doesn’t seem funny today.

W RITTEN BY

S TE VEN W ILLA RD 44 | B E AU- M AGAZI NE.CO M

Like any community that has had to fight for equality, our acceptance isn’t dependent on mainstream society accepting us. It’s us accepting us! President Obama said, “In the face of hate and violence, we will love one another. We will not give in to fear or turn against each other.” Let’s begin peace by ourselves. Respect each other, accept each other, and LOVE each other. n


BE AU MAG | B EAU TI FUL P E O P L E

Desiree Valentino has always been known to grace the Charleston night life stage. Whenever she gets on stage, there is no doubt that she will dance the house down and that the audience will be entertained. Female impersonation is an art, and for the past six years Desiree has been performing and using the stage as her canvas. She says, “After being quiet for so many years, performing has been my outlet; I am finally able to express myself without fear or shame.�

Why We Love Desiree

Over these years you may have seen Desiree at all of our Charleston nightclubs, at an occasional event, Tuesdays at Taboo Tuesdays, or at a pageant or two. During the 2014-2015 year, Desiree reigned beautifully as the Empress of Charleston Pride. When it comes to the Charleston LGBT scene, Desiree likes that even in adversities, differences are put aside to accomplish a greater goal. She hopes that Charleston never lets that spirit die but always continues to be full of love and support. The lovely talents of Miss Desiree Valentino may be seen on the road as she expands her horizons, but the Lowcountry will forever claim her. 3

W R I TTE N B Y: RAY GREEN-MCCANIC B E AU-MAG A Z I N E .CO M | 45


B E AU M AG | BEAU ’DI ACS

Sue’s Horoscopes After much trial and error, I have come to the conclusion that to produce any predictions for the period of this magazine's life would be VERY difficult, if not useless. Therefore, I will give only a short idea of the atmosphere around each sign, while giving you something really helpful. I have decided to explain Mercury retrograde, which will happen twice during this time. The first time will be August 12th to September 13th. The second time will be December 12th to January 19th. It will affect everyone, (some more than others) but we'll all feel its sting.

Sue “Kronella” Handley

ARIES (MARCH 21 – April 19) Sitting in the middle of change. Go with the flow; you can’t stop it anyway.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20) Very little going on for you. A bit of Mars accident rays in the latter part of the year; be careful.

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20) Use logic this time; intuition may be a bit off, but you are bright, so weigh and measure and you’ll be fine. Choose your discipline, and it won’t seem so hard.

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During this time, communications-verbal, electronic, and written-- will fail; machines will crash; people will mistake dates or times; traffic will go crazy; accidents and wrong turns will occur. Any new undertaking will fail or at least be rearranged greatly. The only thing it’s good for is finishing things already started. Forget a new lover; they will disappear when it’s over. Mark your calendar, then sit back and watch others fight it. You will know when it will stop. Mercury retrograde happens three times each year, a good astrological calendar or day book will have it marked if you wish to keep track.


B E AU MAG | B E AU’D I ACS

CANCER

SAGITTARIUS

(JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

(NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 21)

Jupiter and Saturn are sending you bundles of energy and excitement. Be careful not to overdo. Listen to your inner voice. I repeat; DON’T overdo it. Have fun getting that weight off after the holidays; it isn’t easy.

LEO

Your turn to decide if Saturn is the teacher or the whip. It always seems as if so much is lost during this time, but you don’t lose anything that is really yours.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 19)

(JULY 23 – AUGUST 22) Your intuition is hitting on all six and there is energy to spare. It should be a really fun holiday season.

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 22) Things may seem to go sideways for a time. Be cautious in your dealings and work on improving your self image during this period.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 – OCTOBER 22) You are on your own. No real threats or help from the planets...This is a great time to expand your horizons. Travel and learn new things.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21) It’s all good! Energy and intuition are working for you. Enjoy.

Pluto, the Karmic planet is with you for the next few years. This means you will have a chance to make some brownie points with the gods and meet some folks who will seem very familiar, even though you will never have met them in this life.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18) Not much cooking here. Those born late in the sign will be at the top of the game intuition wise, and Jupiter is sending nice positive vibes your way. It’s nice. I LOVE IT because it’s my sign as well.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20) Psychic old Neptune has just moved into your sign, so twelve years of great intuition, good luck and mysterious adventures are on the way. What fun. Trust those feelings, they will be right this time.

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B E AU M AG | R ESO U RCES

Local LGTBAQI Non-Profit Resources ACLU: American Civil Liberties Union of SC info@aclusouthcarolina.org 843-720-1423 • www.aclusouthcarolina.org AFFA Alliance For Full Acceptance • Affa-sc.org Charleston Area Transgender Support C.A.T.S. is an open support group for all members of the transgender community in the coastal area of SC ChasAreaTSupport@aol.com

Lowcountry AIDS Services A non-profit Social Service agency serving men, women, and children living with HIV/AIDS. 843-747-2273 Office • 877-874-0230 Toll Free www.AIDS-Services.com information@aids-services.com Low Country Leather lowcountryleather.com/ • 336-831-4107

Charleston Pride www.Charlestonpride.com

MUSC Gay Straight Alliance An organization of both gay and straight students at MUSC designed to provide a sense of community, support, and advocacy for lesbians, gays, and bisexuals in any medical profession. www.facebook.com/groups/18159034357/

Charleston School of Law Alliance for Equality www.charlestonlaw.edu/Current-Students/StudentOrganizations/Alliance-for-Equality

PFLAG Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays 843-722-2438 • cousinef@comcast.net

Charleston Social Club The Charleston Social Club is a non-profit organization for lesbians and all women who are accepting of lesbians. lynndugan@hotmail.com www.charlestonsocialclub.com

Ryan White Wellness Center Roper St. Francis Center for free confidential HIV testing and support • 843-402-3093 www.Ryanwhiteofcharleston.org

Charleston Blockade Rugby Football Club www.facebook.com/groups/charlestonblockade/

College of Charleston Gay Straight Alliance GSA@edisto.cofc.edu Citadel Gay and Lesbian Alliance http://www.citadelvmigala.org/citadel-gay-andlesbian-alliance/ Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) GLAAD is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. www.facebook.com/GLAAD • twitter.com/glaad GLSEN The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, or GLSEN, is working to ensure safe and effective schools for all students. www.glsen.org/ Human Rights Campaign Working for Lesbian, gay bisexual and transgender equal rights. www.hrc.org/states/south-carolina Lambda Legal Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, the transgender, and people with HIV or AIDS through impact litigation, education, and public policy work. www.lambdalegal.org 48 | B E AU - M AGAZI NE.CO M

South Carolina Equality Organization committed to securing civil and human rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender South Carolinians. info@scequality.org www.scequality.org The South Carolina Gay and Lesbian Business Guild Supports the needs of South Carolina's Gay and Lesbian Owned/Friendly Businesses. scglbg@aol.com • www.scglbg.org South Carolina GSA Network www.facebook.com/scgsanetwork South Carolina Pride Movement Formed to enlighten the general population with respect to gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual issues, and to work peacefully to achieve equal protection under the law for all South Carolinians. 803-771-7713 • info@scpride.org Trident Technical College Gay Straight Alliance 34d.way.34170@ttc.mailcruiser.com We Are Family Safe Space, a peer support group for LGBTQQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and queer) youth. 843.637.9379 • waf.org




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