Beautiful but Broken Bobby Lampkin
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Chapter Six
The Game “The game” is one of the largest contributing factors toward brokenness. It’s important to reiterate that not all men subscribe to the principles set forth the by this game. There are a multitude of men who are capable of having a healthy and honest relationship and simply choose not to follow the game rules or aren’t even aware the game exists. Men who do not fall into the category of those truly seeking honest and meaningful relationships are members of two other groups: those who are seeking control in relationships through abuse or those who are too insecure to realize that they can actually have a healthy relationship. So-called male dating “gurus” capitalize on the thought processes of these two groups and use this knowledge to grow their companies or sites. This game is a million-dollar industry. Marketing campaigns attract men who are either seeking control because, like women, they have been broken, or men who feel they simply aren’t able to attract a woman on their own.
When closely examined, the game is actually a sad example of how our society has changed over time. A man carrying out an extended courtship with the woman he desires used to be customary. This courtship often involved “wooing” the woman and proving he was willing and able to provide and care for her. Flowers and gifts were given, leading up to elaborate proposals. Women were valued and respected. They were cherished and thought of as differing but equally contributing companions. Though courtships do occasionally play out like this, multitudes do not. Nor does the majority of the population even know or believe that they should. Women are no longer companions to court, but conquests to collect or subdue. This timehonored process of liking, selecting, courting, binding together, and cherishing has all but disappeared in the main facets of this once monogamy-supporting society. The process is no longer about honor and respect. It’s now a matter of finding out just how much a man can deceive a woman and how much she can resist before she completely submits to his control. For the most part, soliloquies shouted from balconies or bouquets of scarlet roses spontaneously presented to women to remind them of their position and how much they are loved are no longer. Today, men who practice twisted courtships do not believe in “wooing” a woman. They take what they want instead, and by force if necessary. The game, in essence, relies upon women (and men) who are broken. Instead of taking time to find out who they really are, they go from relationship to relationship thinking another person will be the lost puzzle-piece that will make them whole. These games are designed to take advantage of women who have been hurt by past relationships or have preconceived notions and expectations planted by society, media, and family observances. The game requires the victim to be someone who is already broken or someone who has the potential to become broken by using
developed tactics. Players of the game hate women who are strong, confident and independent, because it’s more difficult for the abuser to gain the upper-hand. Those who commercialize and profit from the game explain in full detail how to capitalize on a woman already broken, or describe exactly how to break a strong, self-reliant woman with extreme but subtle tactics. Knowing about the game can help a woman to avoid falling prey to it. If she knows what to look for and how to spot the game and its players, she is less likely to be victimized by the manipulation in the first place. Although there is no way of knowing every tactic associated with the game, if by reading this book even just 50 percent of those who approach with anything less than complete integrity can be eliminated, single women can preserve the most valuable commodities humans have, time and effort. There are a variety of ways a woman can avoid becoming a victim of the game and uncovering the game and its tactics will give her the knowledge that she needs to find the knight in shining armor instead of the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The Game 101 “Avoid being too much of a nice guy.” “Don’t look to her for approval or permission.” “Stop trying to convince her to like you.” These are just some of the tactics promoted by the game handbook. Though the game exists in many forms and is commercially sold and taught by a multitude of experts, at its core, all of it is really just about tricking the woman into falling for the man. This is accomplished through deceit, manipulation, a myriad of facades, and a set of guidelines that assist the man in, for all intents and purposes, becoming a controlling jerk.
Like the advertisements, media, and large corporations mentioned earlier, the commercialized game is designed to achieve one goal and one goal only: to make its creators as much money as possible, regardless of how many women are hurt in the process. Aside from the almighty dollar, the creators of the game also thrive on the seemingly fulfilling sense of power it provides them. They are revered as “dating gods” and welcome all the praise they receive from misguided men who have used their system to dominate the hearts of women. You may be asking yourself, “How is it that these men are able to manipulate other men into abusing women, make them believe this is the only way to have a relationship, and how are they able to get away with it?” The explanation can be summed up in one answer: the con-men who buy into the system are actually being manipulated by the ultimate cons. The creators of the system use the very weapons they teach. They use a man’s own insecurities against him. Advertising and guidebooks mask the true nature of the dating programs. They are written in a manner which can almost be described as a male code presented as an entitlement of manhood established since the beginning of time, that just hasn’t been discovered by the consumer until the moment he reads the advertisement. The men who buy into the game are not entirely victimized, but willing participants. Many of those who do participate are attracted to it because they have insecurities and do not believe they can actually get a date or attract women on their own. Most of them have faced some sort of rejection in the past and are simply afraid of going through it again or just tired of being lonely. When they see the ads that promote the various games that exist today, they jump at the chance to learn techniques that are going to “land the girl.” These men are broken and don’t understand or care that their choice method of dealing with their issues won’t heal their wounds and will just transfer the damage to their victims.
Those who participate in the game because they strive to control a woman are also broken. These men either believe abuse is love because of learned behaviors, or because they feel that being the “boss” in a relationship will save them from the rejection they are tired of. When closely examined, it’s apparent the game is actually a sign of perpetual brokenness. Some men decide to participate because they have been damaged and see it as a way to mend their issues. Many of them may honestly believe the game is the solution to all of their problems. They believe this is what is going to help them stand tall again and fill the void they have felt for so very long. Rather than seeing it for what it truly is, most of the men who subscribe to the game’s theories are often mesmerized, like customers circling a fork-tongued snake oil salesman convincing them that the true source of all of their woes are the women who will not go out with them. Men who graduate to certified con-men via this racket need to realize and acknowledge they are wounded. Rather than becoming pawns in a pyramid scheme of power and lies ultimately controlled by rich, greedy, and misguided relationship gurus, men who grasp their own self-worth and realize they need healing instead of a conquered harem are the true knights balanced women long for. They are the real men that halt the cycle of brokenness.
The Playbook
There are varying techniques and versions of the game. All variations are based on manipulation through subtle and subliminal techniques. All games involve a man luring a woman to a point of trust so he can control the situation or extract what he wants from her (e.g. sex, money, loyalty, etc). This chapter describes the most common techniques utilized among all of them. In order to truly understand what the game is all about and just how it is played, it’s best to break it down into three phases: attract the victim, lead the victim astray, and conquer. The tactics of the game are typically a closely guarded secret. This chapter walks you through just what the teachings cover and how they turn a man who is already broken into a catalyst of brokenness. The game is, essentially, all about creating an army of con-men who are highly skilled at knowing just how to search for a woman’s weakness and using that weakness against her. In short, they find the Achilles heel so that they can gain the upper-hand in the dating situation and win “the game”.
Phase One: Attract the Victim First the player must select his victim. He is taught how to scan a crowded room and find a broken woman by the way she looks, who she is with, her body language, or her mannerisms toward others. Body language speaks volumes in relation to confidence. Self-confidence, or lack thereof, is often evident by posture. It is the basis of first impressions. Slouching, indirect eye contact, or a flimsy handshake can be indicators of low self-esteem. Experienced game-players will detect these subtle gestures, and easily select a target. After mingling a while, the player has also been taught how to spot a potentially broken woman from the way she dresses. He will see a provocative dresser as an easy target for sex.
Men are primarily stimulated visually and she will attract attention in a way she does not desire for a long-term relationship. A man looking only for sex will go for the person presenting the least amount of resistance. A woman who is dressed provocatively would fit the description he is seeking. That is not to say that men won’t approach an attractive woman dressed in business attire. But a woman will send a message of esteem, accomplishment, and confidence, eliminating an unwanted caliber of males immediately, or she will lay out a welcome mat for inquiries from all types. After the player has selected his victim, like a lion stalking its prey, he will try to creep in undetected as not to startle the victim. The player will usually make small talk (e.g. the weather, a topic of interest related to the surrounding area) to lure her into a dialog. He does this to gauge her responses, observe eye contact, and in many cases, will offer a compliment and measure her reaction. He is trying to do what successful sales professionals do every day, build rapport. He sends the message “we have something in common” or “I am like you.” This is an important step for the player as the quicker he can develop and maintain rapport, the harder it will be to reject him. This is a successful technique because many of us have been subconsciously programmed to accept those who are like us and reject those who are not. The main purpose in this approach is to walk away with your contact information. It is important to note that many players will not contact you immediately because they have been taught to use what is called the “dangling carrot method.” They give you just enough to generate interest and then pull away. They will often wait a few days to allow the anticipation to build. When they finally do make contact, it is often short and hurried so they will appear busier than they are. They build on the anticipation by creating a sense of urgency, saying something like, “Hey I don’t have a lot of time to talk but I wanted to touch base with you and say ‘hi’. Let’s get together later.” This gives the illusion that “I am busy
but I was thinking about you.� This is very effective for three reasons. He has already built a sense of anticipation he is now briefly satisfying, but only enough to promote more anticipation. The second reason is because people have been taught that if someone makes time for them, it is common courtesy to make time in return. The third reason is that now, a seemingly decent man she may be interested in has taken the opportunity to reach out to her. This may make the target feel very special. To read the complete chapter or book purchase Beautiful But Broken on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009JHFXFM
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