EXPERIENCE
Sandvigen : The U-Haul Theory WRITER: Zoe Sandvigen PHOTOGRAPHER: Claire Nelson I’m just going to start this one out with a bang here. Women’s emotions are valid!
Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Now that I have your attention wondering what’s got me so fired up, I’ll tell you. A lot of things, actually. But for the purpose of having your eyes here, I want to talk about a few specific things.
Answer: A U-Haul.
There are plenty of boxes we place each other in to make us feel more separate than we are. Our cultures, sexuality, gender. We make fun of each other and make up offensive stereotypes. A few you might have heard before include that women are bad drivers, people of Asian descent have to be academic, men can’t cry and women act like U-Haul trucks. Did that last one seem random? It may appear that way, but that’s also what I want to talk about. Let me introduce you to the U-Haul Theory. Yes, it is a thing, and as harmless as it seems to compare someone to a convenient, reasonably priced moving vehicle–don’t let it trick you. The U-Haul Theory arose out of a joke that emerged from the gay community. According to the comment, lesbian women like to take it from the first day to a first appartment really quick. Hence, needing a U-Haul. Obviously this “joke” could be considered offensive because most couples, regardless of sexual orientation, take moving-in as a serious step that follows a prolonged time of dating. I came across this joke on Urban Dictionary that really hammers the point home.
Besides being offensive to lesbian women, I was curious to see what was behind the curtains here. As much as stereotypes can hurt us, oftentimes they stem from a sliver of truth. So I did some research. Turns out this iconic joke was coined by Lea DeLaria, an openly gay comedian, actress and singer. During one of her sets, she pitched the joke, and from then on it became a staple in the gay community. DeLaria, as an open lesbian, leads me to think she has the authority and know-how to make such a joke. But still, what experiences prompted her to make that joke? Do women really rush commitment? A few articles later and I found some common veins that describe whether or not U-Hauling exists, and why. My consensus? Depends on the person. I know that’s a bad answer but it’s true. Some scientists say U-Hauling is a response to trauma growing up in an anti-gay world. In early years when teenagers start to form their first relationships, some still in the closet, and some not even realizing they’re gay, they may experience the inability to really connect and move the relationship forward. I mean, if you like oranges but you’re trying to choke down an apple, chances are you’re not going to be super into it.
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