EXPERIENCE
Living in LDRs WRITER: Zoe Sandvigen PHOTOGRAPER: Jacob Lagmay
So you’re in a long distance relationship and you miss each other. It’s confusing, hard, takes a lot of time and maybe sometimes you look yourself in the mirror and say is this really worth it? The truth is, only you can make that decision, but a lot of people are in long distance relationships meaning there are millions of people trying to navigate the same experience you are. So, with a deep dive into looking at some of the do’s and don’ts, here’s what I found. According to our trusty psychologytoday.com–which I read frequently–they listed what seemed common in relationships in general. But then again, maybe not. We all could use a refresh.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE SAME LONGTERM GOALS: If you’re in a long distance relationship, you have to know your partner’s endgame. Not everything needs to be decided upon but if you want to go to graduate school in Missouri and your partner wants to spend the next year traveling, chances are there could be some issues. So, have those realistic conversations and decide if your relationship can stand the tests that lay in front of you before being reunited. FOCUS ON THE SMALL THINGS: When you’re physically around someone a lot, you both naturally share menial anecdotes of your day. A funny comment a coworker made, a new coffee shop that has great bagels, a funny hat you saw on the bus. Being away from your significant other can make it harder to keep up on the small things–but those are the ones that keep you close. When you have those anticipated phone calls, don’t just focus on the big picture. Make sure those details remain part of your daily conversation. You don’t want to look back in six months and realize you’ve lost touch with who your partner has become after all the time apart.
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YOUR TIME SPENT FACE-TO-FACE SHOULDN’T BE AN ITINERARY: Maybe your SO is coming to visit you in the new city you’ve been living in for a few months. It may initially seem like you have to plan jampacked days of sightseeing, visiting all your new favorite restaurants, meeting all your new friends, but take a step back. You might wake up together and want to have a lazy morning, drink coffee and watch a movie. Maybe you just want to enjoy each other’s company and order a pizza rather than go out. Leave your time together up in the air and decide in the moment what feels right for the both of you. I then turned my attention to lifehacks.org which seemed promising to help guide me through this little research experiment. Turns out they also had some good advice–so here goes.
