Melanie Boll

MELANIE BOLL

Open Adoption: Closing the Door on a Secretive Past

The concept of adoption can be traced back to the ancient Romans when wealthy families with multiple sons would give them to other families of nobility to evenly disburse their wealth and power (Jones, 2019). Knowing that, it may come as a surprise that it took until 1851 for the first modern adoption law to be written in the United States. For the next hundred years, adoptions were what are now referred to as closed adoptions where there is no information or communication between the adoptive family and the biological family. It wasn’t until the 1970s that former adoptees began advocating for their birth records to be unsealed, thus sparking the idea of open adoptions. In an open or semi-open adoption, there are varying levels of communication between the biological and adoptive families. Sometimes, this communication is just done through the agency with no identifying information given. In other situations, the biological family can be seen almost as extended family to the child (Mehan, 2013). It took another 20 years for open adoptions to gain traction, but they have become increasingly common since the 1990s. Despite closed adoptions being more popular in the past, experts are finding that open adoptions, whether fully open or semi-open, are the better option for the biological family, the adoptive family, and the child involved. Traditionally, adoption records were sealed to hide the shame of young mothers who gave birth out of wedlock. The secrecy within the system stemmed from the secrecy within the community as families would pretend that their daughters didn’t have a baby (Mehan, 2013). This caused a lot of grief for those young women who were forced to give up their

children, and it still does for women who choose a closed adoption in modern times. The Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project found that there was the highest level of adoption-related grief among birthmothers who chose closed adoptions. This same study found that the level of grief decreased based on the level of openness in the adoption. (Grotevant et al., 2019). Open or semi-open adoptions give birth mothers control over who the adoptive parents are. They also can choose to receive updates via letters, pictures, or even direct contact with the family. Previously, they would have had to pretend that they never had the child, with many women claiming that they felt their baby was stolen from them. It is thought that this stigma is the reason that only about 1% of birthmothers choose adoptions over abortion or keeping their child (Mehan, 2013). Many agencies hope that the rising popularity of open adoptions can help change this and encourage more birth mothers to choose adoption over the alternatives. This would allow for more babies to be available for adoption and would shorten the waiting period for adoptive parents to be partnered with a child. The long waiting period is not the only thing that has discouraged aspiring parents from adopting. In closed adoptions in the past, adoptive parents reported anxiety over the birth parents’ changing their minds and attempting to take back their roles as the parental figures for the child. In open adoptions, they are able to discuss this with the birth parents directly, making them feel more secure. Research has found that no matter the level of openness, this communication has eased the fears of the adoptive parents and actually allowed them to be more empathic toward birth parents (Grotevant et al., 2019). In a study involving 44 adoptive parents, they all stated that they felt they made the right choice by having an open adoption. They did not feel that there had been too much openness at any point in the relationship between the families, even when the children reached adulthood (Siegel, 2013). Another common concern raised on behalf of adoptive parents is that the child will reject the adoptive parents in favor of their birth family. Actually, even adoptees who have expressed challenges or discomfort have found that the level of openness does not cause a major issue in their relationship with their adoptive parents (Siegel, 2013). Even when children expressed a yearning to learn more about their birth parents, their positive views of their adoptive family did not change (Grotevant et al., 2019). When adopted children seek out information about their biological families, it typically stems from curiosity rather than a wish to rekindle the relationship with their birth parents. Many adoptees involved in closed adoptions expressed that not knowing who their birth parents were or why they were put up for adoption actually prevented them from fully bonding with their adoptive parents as they were afraid to discuss those concerns

with them (Mehan, 2013). By having an open and honest relationship from the start, adopted children not only have answers to their questions, but they also can feel more comfortable communicating with their adoptive parents about it. Furthermore, the sense of identity given by knowing where they come from is important to a child’s development to help them build self-esteem and confidence. This is especially impactful for children who are adopted from other countries, as losing that part of their identity could mean a complete loss of their history and culture. Open adoption can also help children who may have otherwise worried that they were not good enough for their biological parents to keep. By the biological parents continuing to request and receive updates, even if communication is done indirectly, it can show children that a lack of interest is not the reason that they were given away. They may even be able to hear the specific reason for that decision. Many children also find that they have other biological siblings who can provide them with a wholly different relationship than they would have experienced otherwise. Regardless of the benefits that communication can have on the relationships between adoptees and their biological or adoptive families, open adoption is not without critics. Along with the apprehensions from the adoptive parents mentioned previously, there are concerns that tension between the adoptive and birth parents could cause anxiety for the child. Experts also worry that the birth mother will feel that the child is flaunted in front of her, causing the guilt over her decision to be extended. While research suggests that the opposite is true in most cases, these concerns are not without merit. The 44 adoptive parents in Siegel’s study do admit to some challenges during the open adoption process, such as the birth parents having another child that they decide to keep or cutting off contact with the adoptee at random. However, the adoptive parents describe it as an opportunity to communicate and grow with their child (Siegel, 2013). In regards to the concerns on behalf of birth mothers, some women do express regret over putting their child up for adoption and wish they had at least tried parenting the child for one or two weeks. They also share that their friends and family make inappropriate or judgmental comments about their decision, causing more difficulty for them (Mehan, 2013). Nevertheless, there is no evidence that these feelings would be fixed with a closed adoption. While a fully open adoption may not be the right choice for every individual, some level of openness is still more beneficial than a fully closed adoption for most families. The positive results that research has shown through reduced grief of birth mothers, less anxiety for adoptive parents, and a better sense of identity in adoptive children is why closed adoptions are becoming increasingly outdated. Even families that had concerns prior to beginning the adoption process have found that an open or semi-open adoption is

more advantageous for them. Open adoption can just include selecting the adoptive parents and sharing medical information through the agency if there are concerns such as what is mentioned previously. It is especially helpful that open adoption allow for changes to the level of openness throughout the course of the child’s life. While birth mothers and potential adoptive parents should still look into each option extensively prior to the adoption, all parties can ease into the relationship and make any changes if they find that something isn’t working for their individual personalities and lifestyles. With closed adoptions, they would not have the option to change their minds until the child has reached adulthood and may experience difficulties gaining information or contact even then. The stigma that began with secret pregnancies and maternity homes is being replaced by more and more families advocating for open adoption, which can hopefully spark reform in the adoption system in the future.

Grotevant, H. D., McRoy, R. G., Christian, C. L., & Bryant, C. (2019, September 13). Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project Outcomes for Birthmothers. Rudd Adoption Research Program. https://www.umass.edu/ruddchair/research/mtarp/keyfindings/outcomes-birthmothers

Jones, J. S. (2019, May 29). What Is the History of Adoption? Gladney Center for Adoption. https://adoption.org/what-is-the-history-ofadoption#:~:text=The%20first%20traces%20of%20adoption,from %20another%20family%20through%20adoption.

Mehan, M. (2013). Adoption: Where is Solomon when we need him? Human Life Review, 39(4), 61–70.

Siegel, D. H. (2013, July 23). Growing up in open adoption: Adoptive families look back [Slides]. ScholarWorks. https://scholarworks.umass.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1094 &context=rudd_conf