Whatisyouremotionalscarstory?

This led me to have anxiety, only I didn't know it had affected me I convinced myself once I left that was the end of that experience As I got older I became hyper aware of other people's emotions which led me to over analyze my interactions with boyfriends and friends This anxiety only grew stronger the more I was let down by my ex partners and ex friends I became less trusting and more aggressive My shadows came to the front of my personality To protect my inner child I became openly aggressive I let everyone know not to f--k with me It was a defense mechanism, protect yourself before anything actually happens just in case because people have surprised you before I lacked proper communication skills because yelling and fighting was the form of communication I was taught I lacked confidence in myself and emotional intelligence And I lacked confidence in the people I surrounded myself with I am now in therapy and I am so grateful for this journey I have a partner who communicates calmly, clearly, and most importantly, gently Not only have I been able to transform how I communicate and treat other people, I've learned to find the peace within and quiet the anxiety Healing is on going and can be tough but so is living in toxic cycles

Splendor in life?

The greatest thing I could've done for myself was create a spiritual relationship with God I grew up catholic then christian, it was confusing for a while given the atrocities happening in the churches But when I realized God is in my heart and I don't have to follow religious regulations, I found myself closer to God than ever It's helped me trust the process and let go of what I cannot control, the root to my anxiety Living in chaos you want to start controlling your environment as much as you can I soon learned I don't have to hold the weight of the world God has a plan and I need to trust the process I show gratitude for the blessings I receive and I don't ask for much yet I receive more than I could've ever imagined My life has done a complete 180, little me would be so proud It sounds cliche but I mean it wholeheartedly when I say I am currently living out my dreams

When did your life change for the better?

I've had multiple significant moments but I think the most recent was in 2021 when I was forced to move out of my family home The owner was selling it and we had to be out by that summer Ironically I had wanted to move out by that June but I always imagined myself being one of those people who moves out to have their own space, but comes home when they're feeling nostalgic I think I still hold some resentment so I'm working on that I miss my home I miss my bedroom If those walls could talk, they'd write novels But now I live in one of the best areas I have a beautiful apartment with a view of NYC It's bittersweet I know this occurrence was part of the plan, I'm just still working through the emotions of it all

What would you tell your younger self?

You had a hard childhood, you grew up a lot quicker than most kids, but everyone has their own story, yours is no rougher than the next How people treat you is not a representation of you, but a representation of their experience so don't take it too personal Learn what you will and will not allow in your life because when you respect yourself and know your worth, other people will eventually follow suit or fall off People are here for a reason, season or a lifetime Regardless of their duration, be your most authentic self Don't let anyone change your heart

What were your chains in life and how did you break out of it?

My anxiety and intrusive thoughts have been the strongest chains Therapy and meditating have helped tremendously Honestly, if you met me 5 years ago and met me again today you would think I'm two different people I wouldn't say I'm completely free, some days I wonder if I ever will be I've accepted that mental health care is an on-going experience Like showering, you're going to do it every day until you die So I treat it as such It's not debilitating anymore, it's become a part of my livelihood to live intentionally and be aware of my words and actions It's brought me a lot of peace Some days are harder than others, but I'm a strong woman I know I will always prevail