Silence
Every day we encounter silence. Sometimes silence can be welcome, but it can also be awkward, confusing, contemplative, boring, tense and many other things. This book looks at what we think inside our heads when we find ourselves in silence. Each spread documents a moment in the mind of someone different, the situation they are in and their internal monologue as they wait for the silence to end.
1
Contents
The Morning Commute
3
In the Library
5
Toilet Break
7
Taking a Moment
9
Waiting Alone
11
Taking the Lift
13
Walking with friends
15
Riding Home
17
Time at a Gallery
19
A Friend Texting
21
At a Gig
23 2
9:17 Friday 9th October 2009. Top deck. Number 50 Stagecoach. Upper Brook Street. Manchester.
3
Put my bag on the spare seat, earphones in and volume up. Stare straight out of the window and let the world go on around me. Keep focused on the world outside the bus and keep my bag firmly on that spare seat. Too many people coming on, someone
is trying to sit next to me, an attempt at a smile and a nod and my spare seat is filled. Battered old newspapers, crisp packets and bags spill from under seats and into aisles. Look back out of the window and not a word is spoken to the person sat beside me.
4
17:36 Wednesday 3rd February 2006. All Saints Library. Art & Design Section. ‘L ooking for book previously taken out.
5
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6
13:08 Monday 21st September 2009. Toilet break. 1st Floor. All Saints Library.
7
Great, someone else here, I hope he doesn’t use the middle one. Good, he’s gone to the corner, do I say something? He’s looking away, good. Eyes to the wall. Don’t want to start one of those awkward conversations. Just keep looking to my corner and hope he’s finished soon, Don’t want to get stuck speaking with him here.
Don’t talk, just don’t say anything....keep your eyes fixed to the wall and don’t risk making eye contact or anything that could pass as an attempt to start a conversation...Don’t ask me the football scores, I don’t know them, don’t tell me about last night, tonight or any other night for that matter. I don’t want to speak to you, not here.
8
14:28 @Tuesday 27th October 2009. Break. Outside Liverpool Walker Gallery.
9
Alarm, shower, throw on some clothes,
So loud you can’t take it all in.
bus, flyers, posters, traffic, lectures, noise, noise, noise.
Close my eyes for a moment and think about the rest of the day. Imagine myself 1,000 miles away
then peace 15 minutes for a cigarette and an apple. Watch the pigeons go past and block it all out. bliss before the honk of a horn or squeal of a brake brings me back to reality.
10
12.01 Monday 7th January 2008. Waiting for friends, All Saints Park.
11
Sit down and scroll through old messages on my phone in an attempt to look busy. The other person here reads, slowly, mouthing words and nodding to himself. What is he reading? I Can’t see from here. Do I go over and ask him? But I don’t, you don’t ask strangers what book they’re reading, I keep to myself in our own little silences and the moment passes. I wish I knew what you were reading.
12
17:45 Monday 2nd November 2009. All Saints Library. Just checked e-mails.
13
I know this guy, what’s his name? What’s his name?? I met him at...oh shit where did I meet him? Is it the right guy? From Tims place, I think. He hasn’t recognised me, maybe it’s not him, Dan! yeah his name was Dan, he knew Tims brothers, I’ll say hi...
.....he’s not saying anything, just looking at the rest of the lift. Everyone’s wondering who I’m speaking to. Now this is awkward, why are these lifts so slow? He does look a lot like Dan though....
.....really hope I don’t see this guy again, 3 floors of cringing, just doing that awkward smile and staring into thin air trying not to look at each other, memo to self, don’t say hi if you’re not sure who they are...
14
21:11 Saturday 31st March 2009. With friends. Wilmslow Road. Walking to bus stop.
15
You talk and talk and talk, both of you, words overlapping and repeated, finishing eachothers sentences. Laughing, joking, talking ceaselessly with no stop for breath or thought. Words fall like litter, left behind, discarded, forgotten. I follow in silence a step behind, not enough space for the three of us and all those words.
16
17:58 Friday 30th October 2009. Riding home. Catham building to Fallowfield via Rusholme.
17
Click, undo the lock, thr my shou ow the ke ys into pedal, lder and tighten my bag, bag ov er the strap of f the s. Pedal, pavemen and onto t the road Pedal, . pedal, check for t my shou raf fic over to get pa lder, pull out, pe going, p st the bus , peda dal hard, need ull back l in to c yc harder, kee p le lane pedal. H. Pedal, down to ead the light make pedal. B s , pedal, pedal, pe rake, kee p goi dal, going, p ng, through the red light Slowly wedal. , kee p e a ve through mess of b the pedestria usses , ns an make up Rusholm parked cars th d at e. Almos t Coast do home. into Fal wnhill lowf Past the fast ield. food restaurants past the bars , , past Sainsburys, take a left, pedal, pedal, pedal, jump the curb up onto the pavement and straight back down. Pedal, pedal, pedal and finally home without saying a single word .
18
15:49 Tuesday 2nd August 2007. Viewing Vir Heroicus Sublimis by Barnett Newman’. MOMA. New York.
19
It’s beautiful, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, doesn’t matter. Simple and bold,magnificently huge, No idea what it means, I don’t really care, just happy to sit here and take it in. I wont say a thing to you because I know you’re thinking the same thing, I can tell by the way that you bend your head to look at a particular detail and the way that you can’t help but smile when looking. I breathe quietly and gently, keeping time with you until we’re ready to move on. In and out, in and out.
20
16:19 Saturday 31st October 2009. Manchester Museum. Zoological Collection. The Mammoth Room.
21
What do I do, watch you text? Walk on and leave you to it? Stay rooted to the spot, eyes fixed on the wall? Already seen this part of the museum, want to move on...I’ll leave you here, and say where I’m going. Is it rude to interrupt a text? It’s not an actual conversation, you can still talk...Do I ask who it’s to? Should I get my phone out and start texting in an act of text solidarity? Need to do something I’m just staring at the wall, people are looking at us like we’re one of the exhibits ‘21st Century man, communicates with sophisticated yet deeply impersonal messaging services’.
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22:46 Tuesday 7th February=2008. Justice live. The Cross album Tour. Manchester Academy
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The floor is trembling with bass, feeling it more I can hear it. Eyes wide open and arms raised, bodies shaking, jumping, swaying like metronomes keeping time with each hook and bass line, DJs becoming Gods in front ofmy eyes. Then nothing, time stops as the needle is lifted from the vinyl and we all stop with it. Silence fills the room and we wait, heavy breathing is all I can hear and then its back, music like waves pounding and lifting the crowd, eyes wide open and arms raised, bodies swaying like metronomes.
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By Ben Kither