Access Denied? -- May 6, 2022

Lewiston High School, DTEC 409, 3125 Cecil Andrus Way, Lewiston, Idaho, 83501

r r u P s ’ l a g n e B The

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Vol. 94, No. 6

Access Denied? pages 3, 16

Cover by Jasmine Schmidt

The

s Batman conquer page 10

Fake News? pages 18-21

News 3

Friday, May 6, 2022

Bengals vote Hundreds respond in Purr’s for student student Access survey Do you prefer to stay in your first leaders hour class for Access?

Do you find Access useful?

By Ava Mohr News Assistant

Students voted for the Associated Student Body and sophomore and junior class officers on April 13, though results have still not been announced.

Current sophomores voted for next year’s junior class officers, and current freshmen voted for incoming sophomore class officers in the gym and the auditorium. After the class elections concluded, freshmen, sophomores and juniors headed to the auditorium to vote for their ASB candidate of choice through the 5-Star Students app.

About a week after the ASB elections, the juniors voted for senior class officers. The freshmen class elections will occur at the beginning of the 20222023 school year.

Emmett Dougherty, a co-adviser of ASB, explained how the school determines ASB student positions.

The top five students who receive the most votes will go through interviews by a staff panel to assess their roles in ASB elections. Afterward, each student will receive one of the five positions: student body president, vice president, secretary, treasurer, or social media director. Class officer positions for the freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors are similar to those of the ASB, he said.

As of press time, the winners of student positions had not been announced. However, those student leaders will eventually make decisions regarding Homecoming, school dances, Golden Throne, and other school events in the upcoming school year.

“I would encourage anyone who wants to have a voice in the school to run for office,” said Dougherty.

Dougherty added that any student is eligible to run for ASB in the future if they are a junior and have a GPA of at least 3.0. The student must also fill out the paperwork and bring the required signatures to the main office before the specified date.

Emmet Dougherty

Do you like being able to transition to other classrooms during Access?

By Josh Tatko Cub Managing Editor With the regular Wednesday Access period currently suspended, The Bengal’s Purr conducted a survey to see what LHS students think of the old and current formats, and what changes they think should be made.

Out of 361 students, or about 27% of the school population, round 75% found Access useful. The majority of students (approximately 60%) use Access for either homework or makeup work. This is likely the cause of one of the greatest issues students have with the current Access format -- not being able to transition to other classrooms. In survey responses. one of the most frequently suggested changes was to bring back the ability for students to go to other classrooms and speak with other teachers. Results showed that 84.3% of students like being able to transition to other classrooms during Access, and 65.3% think Access should definitely return to this format.

Another common complaint was the length of the typical Access period. Access is 30 minutes long, and many students see this as insufficient. Some stated that even when students could transition during Access, after crossing the campus, a significant portion of the period had been already wasted. Then crossing the campus just to return to Access class could take a students completely out of the way of their normal schedules.

Despite these concern, only 26.3% of students prefer to stay in their first hour class during Access time.

Would you rather return to the previous Access format?

But the general consensus among the detailed responses seems to be that the Access teacher does not matter as much as the ability to transition between classrooms.

It is important to note that 19% of students reported not using access for Academic activities, and 2.2% do not attend Access at all. However, other students proposed potential solutions to these problems. One student suggested that a staff member could stand by the front door to stop people from leaving during Access. Others mentioned that if students remained in their first hour classes, they are less likely to leave during the transition time.

Another student suggested that the school should give students something to do during Access, so there is a real incentive to attend for students who don’t need to visit other teachers or catch up on work.

The 25% of students who do not find Access useful could spend the time completing an assignment.

A common complaint about Access is not just the length of the period but the time of day at which it is held. Many students suggested moving Access to either the beginning or end of the day, citing that this would give students the ability to come in early or stay afterward without interruption. Also, schedule changes in the middle of the day can cause confusion.

Ultimately, regardless of how changes are implemented -- if at all -- students generally agreed that Access is a useful tool for them, that Access has room for improvement, and that its main feature should be the ability to transition between classrooms.

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THE BENGAL’S PURR

News

All rise: Mock Trial takes on virtual state

By Lauren Martin Cub Managing Editor

Mock Trial students competed in the quarterfinal rounds for the virtual state competition March 17-19. The team representing Lewiston High School included Seyi Arogundade (11), Kelly Ayres (12), Lily Van Mullem Emily Graham (12), Graham Jones (9), Dalton Laney (12), Graydon Mader (11), Abby Rudy (10), Eva Steele (9) and Lily Van Mullem (12). Advisers Shannon Van Buren and Aaron Waits, plus coaches Matt Eggers, Joanna McFarland and Trae Turner, all accompanied them. The team did not qualify for nationals, but it did have the opportunity to compete at state against other high schools from Montana and Idaho.

Van Mullem took on two roles at state competitions this year. She played plaintiff witness Remi Hartman, a nationally famous news reporter and journalist, and a defense attorney.

“I joined Mock Trial my freshman year. It’s one of the best things I’ve done during my high school career,” she said. “I’ve met so many cool and kind people and gained confidence speaking in front of others. I’ve gone on special field trips, and developed a strong friendship with my girl Mrs. VanB.”

Members of the Lewiston High Schools Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America pose outside of DTEC for a group photo. Photo by Sophia Gill.

FCCLA heads to nationals

By Paxtyn Latta Opinion Assistant

Lewiston High School’s FCCLA members have completed their final step on the way to national competitions after state competitions took place April 6-8. Gretchen Pals (12) and Emma Pfaff (12) will attend national championships in San Diego from June 27-July 3.

At the state level, Sophia Gill (10) crafted a presentation about event management. Though she ultimately did not compete, she won a silver medal in regional competitions.

“My topic was event management, and I chose that because my mom has been an event manager

before, and I also thought it would be good to design an event for charity,” she said. Gill also noted that students “got really good at presenting their information and connecting with the judges”.

Melinda Pals, secretary of Idaho’s FCCLA program and representative of the LHS FCCLA program, said she feels proud of her students for “investigating, developing and finalizing projects independently.”

“They do all the work and I just guide them, which is exactly what we want for all our students,” Pals noted. “All of the students who competed had wonderful, creative projects and they should all be very proud.”

LHS BPA team dominates competition at state

By Sophia Gill Entertainment Assistant

Students from the LHS Business Professionals of America (BPA) group have returned from the 56th Annual State Leadership Conference in Bois. More than 100 schools attended this event and about 1,000 students competed statewide.

Lewiston competitors included Aubrey Marran (12), Shelby Hobbs (12), Rylee Wimer (11), Payton Finch (11), Patience Rose (11), Annika Huff (11), Oluwaseyi Arogundade (11), Morgan Williams (11), Asher Feucht (9) and Parker Cushman-Bogar (9).

Of these, eight qualified for the 56th Annual BPA nationals event that will take place in Dallas, Texas, this year.

“I’m really glad that I participated in it,” said Arogundade. who qualified for nationals. “I am way more confident in my abilities to talk to people and

to articulate my points.”

Arogundade was in a News Broadcasting team that consisted of three other BPA students -- Wimer, Huff and Finch. The team placed first against 12 other teams within this category.

“I’m really glad that I participated in it...I am way more confident in my abilities to talk to people and being able to articulate my points better when public speaking.”

-- Oluwaseyi Arogundade

Oluwaseyi Arogundade and Rylee Wimer practice presenting their BPA project. The compeition was held on March 18 at the Idaho State Leadership Confrence in Boise, Idaho. Photo courtesy of Patience Rose.

Friday, May 6, 2022

News

District, county, and state report COVID-19 numbers

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By Hannah Shoffitt Senior News Editor Zero students and no staff members have reported cases of COVID-19 at LHS, and nobody was reported quarantined, as of April 12. A total of zero students and 1 staff member were infected in the Lewiston School District at that time, according to Superintendent Lance Hansen. Since the beginning of the school year, 479 students have returned from quarantine, as well as 161 staff members.

Nez Perce County has an average of 1.2 new cases per 100,000 people every day. The vulnerability level is measured as low with a 0.8% positive test rate and a 0.99 infection rate, according to covidactnow.org The Lewiston-Metro area has averaged about 1.3 new confirmed cases every day, the data being collected for last week. As of May 5, local hospitals had 13 new admissions due to COVID-19.

Hansen, alongside the Lewiston school board members, made the decision to stop sending daily reports to parents and staff members regarding COVID-19 numbers beginning April 13. The choice was made due to extremely low infection numbers reported within the community, as well as Idaho Gov. Brad Little ending the statewide public health emergency on April 15.

Engineering students compete at state science fair

By Eli Lindauer News Assistant Members of an LHS engineering design class, taught by Terri Varnado, competed in the Northern Idaho Science and Engineering Fair March 10-11.

They came back with three gold medals and five silver awards.

Jesse St. Onge is a finalist in the Regeneron International Science and Engineering Fair 2022 and will go to Atlanta, Georgia, in May to compete. St. Onge created of electromagnetic brakes that are powered by two opposite polarized magnets, with a voltage traveling through them. He hopes to use the braking system at the international competition.

Other winners included Baylor Blewett, Ian Maresca, Delylah Minear, Madison Morgan, Taylor Osburn, Sydney Arellano, Tyler Granlund and Christian Reed. Students competed in animal science, biomedical and microbiology, engineering, math, computer science, embedded systems and physi-

cal sciences.

Varnado also held a Robotics Applications and Engineering Design Expo and Open House March 17 at LHS. Students displayed their engineering projects for public viewing and demonstration.

Lewiston engineering alumni were able to re-visit the programs that helped them get them to where they are today, Varnado said. Local engineers and technicians also discussed the value of going into high-tech careers.

The medalists gather for a photo at the Northern Idaho Science and Engineering Fair. Photo courtesy of St. Onge.

St. Onge’s showcases his project at the state science fair Photo courtsey of St. Onge.

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Sports

SPRING SPORTS MID-SEASON BRIEFS 1

TRACK AND FIELD

By Chayton Brewer-Burgin Senior Managing Editor Boys, March 18 The season got off to a great start with Dalton Laney placing second in the boy’s 400-meter. Kobe Wessels placed second in the boy’s 1,600-meter and in the men’s 3,200-meter. Thor Kessinger placed first in the men’s shotput and first in men’s discus. Luke Mastroberadino placed third in boys triple-jump. Laney, James Stubbers, Mastroberadino and Jackson Lathen placed second in the boy’s 4x400 meter relay.

Girls, March 18 Emily Collins placed first in girl’s 200-meter and 400meter dash. Damaris Stuffle placed first in the girl’s 100-meter hurdles. Ahnika U’Ren placed third in the women’s 300-meter hurdles. Zoie Kessenger placed third in the womens discus. U’Ren, Raeley Beeler, Stuffle and Collins placed first in the women’s 4x400 meter relay. Katy Wessels placed first in women’s long jump. Beeler placed second in the women’s long jump.

Boys, March 24 Jackson Lathen placed third in the men’s 100-meter. Dalton Laney placed third in the men’s 200-meter and second in the men’s 400-meter. James Stubbers placed third in the men’s 800-meter. Kobe Wessels placed first in the men’s 1,600-meter and second in the men’s 3,200-meter. Vincent Shriver, Tanner Irwin, Drew Alldredge and Briggs Duman placed first in the men’s 4x100-meter relay. Ian McCall, Adam Nelson, Luke Mastroberadino, Tanner Irwin placed third in the men’s 4x200-meter relay. Laney, Stubbers, Mastroberadino and Lathen placed first in the men’s 4x400-meter relay. Lathen, Jordan Poulsen, Stubbers and Elijah Sabo placed first in the men’s DMR 1,200-400-800-1600m. Thor Kessinger placed first in the men’s shotput and men’s discus throw. James White, placed third in the men’s shotput and first in the men’s long jump. Drew Alldredge placed third in the men’s high jump. Deegan Everett placed third in the men’s long jump and triple jump. Mastroberadino placed first in the men’s triple jump.

Girls, March 24 Emily Collins placed first in the women’s 200-meter and in the women’s 400-meter. Jordynn Albright placed second in the women’s 400-meter. Olivia Fishback placed second in the women’s 800-meter. Maya Conklin placed second in the women’s 1,600-meter and first in the women’s 3,200-meter. Damaris Stuffle placed first in the women’s 100-meter hurdles, third in the women’s 300-meter hurdles, and third in the women’s long jump. Ahnika U’Ren placed second in the women’s 300-meter hurdles. Raeley Beeler, So-

THE BENGAL’S PURR 4 SOFTBALL

phie Canner, Gracie Earl, and U’Ren placed first in the women’s 4x100-meter relay. Jordynn Albright, Sophie Canner, Addison McKarcher and Josie Sager placed second in the women’s 4x200-meter relay. Beeler, U’Ren, Stuffle and Collins placed first in the women’s 4x400-meter relay. Zoie Kessinger placed second in the women’s discus. Albright placed third in the women’s high jump. Katty Wessels placed second in the women’s long jump. Chloe Titus placed third in the women’s triple jump.

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TENNIS

By Kendra Kelley Cub Sports Editor The LHS tennis season started March 12 and, despite rain, games have mostly gone as planned,. Regular practices have been held every weekday in between match days.

Practices consist of working on technique and strategy. Players specifically work on being more aggressive and attacking the net.

Varsity players Allison Olson and Morgan Moran placed first in girls doubles at Coeur d’ Alene on March 12.

“I felt overjoyed and satisfied. That entire day we were pushing ourselves to win first, so when we did, I was very happy,” said Olson. Olson explained she is working hard at practice and attending lessons at LCSC to improve her tennis skills.

The varsity tennis team has a history of making it to state. With regionals coming up quickly, tennis players are working hard at practice to prepare for regionals and other scheduled matches.

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GOLF

By Danica Keane Cub Sports Editor The LHS golf team played at the Bryden Canyon Golf Course for the Lewiston invitational on March 21.

The boys team finished with a team score of 308, with Jack Sheilby, Noah Acord and Carson King all shooting in the 70s. The boys team placed second, only 3 points behind Coeur d’Alene. The individual scores were Seibly, 71; King, 74; Acord, 76; Christian Lybyer, 87; and Christian Reed 90.

“We’re doing pretty good. We definitely have gotten better since last year,” said Acord. He added that he he improves his skills from through practice and has been playing for a couple of years. “I do plan on continuing (after high school). I want to try to get some good education from it.”

The girls ended with a team score of 367 and took home first place. The individuals were Mollie Seibly, 81; Abbigail Tellez, 87; Julia Brume, 91; Aleena White, 108; and Lexi Casey, 112. Seilby was the medalist of the day after scoring 81 to win the girls tournament.

By Lynae Murillo Sports Assistant Varsity softball played its first game game of the season March 17, winning 15-0 against Spokane. They should be seeing tougher competition in league play throughout the season.

The girls have been playing together for a long time and will have lots of challenges coming up. Kristen Delp, LHS varsity coach, said she has high hopes for the season. “I expect a lot of senior leadership. We have a great group of seniors this year that have been through it all really,” Delp noted. “We had several hits to score our 14 runs. Kate had 3, Caiti Reel had 3, Taryn Barney and Tori Purington had 2 hits, and Phoenix Pea, Jenna Barney and Evanne Douglass each had one hit.”

Douglass said she is enjoying the season. “I am excited about getting to play with all of the girls and go to state! We are all really close together, so it’s really fun being able to play on the field with each other.” She felt that their first game went well. “The first league game is always tough because we finally see competition again. There was a lot of action at second base and the rest of the infield, I think that we executed our plays well.”

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BASEBALL

By Kaitlyn Fowler Sports Assistant The LHS baseball season started strong after playing Coeur d’Alene March 17. Varsity won 10-6 and 7-3, and JV had a final score of 10 and 7. Justin Miller, assistant coach for varsity baseball, started the season feeling psyched.

“We’ve only played two games thus far, plus three scrimmage games,” said Miller. “We had an exciting win against a good Spokane team.”

Varsity player, Zach Massey, has played baseball his entire life, and felt pleased with the season’s start.

“I think we stayed together and played hard throughout the whole game, not just one inning,” Massey said of an early-season game.

“I think we need to work on taking care of the baseballs and make our playing cleaner and more professional.”

Varsity player, Wyett Lopez, noted that growing up, he played baseball with his older brother. He wanted to be like him and maybe even better, he said. As for his fellow Bengals, he said the year’s team “is pretty good and solid.”

See the latest Bengal sports updates at lewistonathletics.com

Friday, May 6, 2022

Features

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Man on the Street: What was your Senior Project?

By Hannah Shoffit Senior News Editor

Brooke Pfaff

Research Topic: Narcissistic personality disorder Project: Participated in case file studying, teen discussion groups, and one-on-one discussions at New Beginnings Counseling and Support Services.

Allison Dillard

Research Topic: Women in the military Project: Completed BASICS training

Dalton Laney

Research Topic: The connection between sports and the broadcast industry as well as social medi, and ways that communication has developed to improve the sports industry.

Hours/Project: Broadcasting basketball games on the radio station The River 105.1.

Branting finds historic LHS stars Historical summaries provided by Steven Branting, local historian, and compiled by Seyi Arogundade, Cub Features Editor

Amelia Black

Research Topic: Sex education curriculum, including its pros and cons, and issues like contraceptives, teen pregnancy, healthy relationships, and sexual violence.

Project: Organizing events for a Sexual Assault Awareness Week from April 4-8. Monday and Tuesday included mentors from the Lewiston YWCA as guest speakers in LHS classes on healthy relationships. On Wednesday and Thursday there were displays at lunch time with pamphlets, stickers, and other information about sexual assault and how to advocate for safe and healthy relationships. Also on Thursday, a presentation was given after school in the auditorium to debunk 10 myths about sexual violence and how to gain help as a victim.

One 1931 LHS graduate, Camille Sorey became known p ro fe s s i o n a l l y as Julie Gibson.

She sang with the Jimmy Grier Band and dubbed the singing voices for Diana Lynn and Betty Hutton in a few movies for Paramount.

She appeared on screen in the motion pictures Camille Sorey (Julie Gibson), 1931. Nice Girl? (1941), Photo courtesy of Steven Branting.

Going My Way (1944), Beat the Devil (1953). She spent a number of years in Europe dubbing English voices for French and Italian films.

She was the dialogue supervisor for the popular TV sitcom Family Affair in 1970–71 and was the unit publicist for John Huston’s Academy Award–winning Moulin Rouge (1952). Her last acting role was in the critically acclaimed TV miniseries The Awakening Land (1978). Her second husband, Oscar-winner Charles Barton, was a principal director of Abbott and Costel-

lo comedies, moving to the Disney Studios to direct The Shaggy Dog and Toby Tyler.

After graduating from LHS in 1921 Merle Gilson got his start as an artist by painting showcards for the windows at The Owl Drug Store once found at Fifth and Main streets. He attended the University of Idaho.

Through the assistance of Lillian Disney’s brotherin-law, Gilson was hired in 1929 as a cartoonist for the Disney Studios, being the first associate anima- Merle Gilson, 1921. Photo tor Disney brought into courtesy of Steven Branting. the firm. He left Disney to work for Walter Lantz (of Woody Woodpecker fame) twice in the 1930s. In 1938–39 he received on-screen credits for several animated cartoons, including Baby Kittens and Problem Child. He was a chief animator for Oswald Rabbit shorts. He later worked for Hanna-Barbera, where he was responsible for animating Fred Flintstone. After he retired, Gilson moved back to Lewiston and drew personalized cartoons of Mickey Mouse for local children.

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THE BENGAL’S PURR

Features

GSA hosts Mattio Martinez

By Scout Alford Entertainment Assistant The LHS Gay-Straight Alliance hosted the writer, director and comic Mattio Martinez to speak about his journey from a closeted kid to a stand-up comedian in the P1FCU Performing Arts Center March 23. Martinez is an award-winning writer and director. He has worked on platforms such as ABC television, Disney, and Sony TV. Martinez has also appeared relatively locally, opening for 2019 Boise Pride.

After a brief yet well-done introduction by Emma Cuddy (president of the GSA club), Martinez opened with a modified comedic bit to showcase his writing skills. Martinez covered lots of subjects ranging from growing up as a member of the LGBTQ community to how he met actress Zendaya.

During a question and answer segment one LHS student asked, “What is your biggest flex?” Martinez answered, “Did you not hear me say I met Zendaya?”

Having gone to school for screenwriting and directing, Martinez gave insight into the importance of making films and gaining knowledge to achieve personal goals.

Martinez covered many more topics such as gender roles, the AIDS epidemic, and community issues.

He shared a lot of stories about his youth and how he handled coming out as a gay man.

One attendee asked what he thought everyone should take away from this event, and Martinez replied, “Guys, I started out in a little tiny town in east LA. Very sad. Very uncool . . . and because I followed my heart and had really good friends to rely on, I’m out here living my dreams.

“You guys. . . if you follow your heart and hang on to each other and help each other out, you can do anything you want,” he added.

Mattio Martinez speaks to LHS students. Photo by Scout Alford.

LHS color guard team performing their routine at LHS. Photo by Jasmine Schmidt.

Color Guard team places second

By Jasmine Schmidt Cub Editor-in-Chief

Lewiston High School has a Color Guard team this year, and the team has already accomplished a lot.

Color Guard creates a visual effect for music by telling a story to the audience through color, props and emotion. The LHS team uses synchronized dance, flag work, mock rifles and props to create the show.

This year alone, Color Guard performed with the LHS Marching Band at games and parades, it competed and placed 17th with the band at the WSU Marching Band Competition, and it performed at two Treasure Valley Indoor Association competitions, taking second- and fourth-place awards. They also got second place in the TVIA championships on April 9.

The team consists of seven members, including captain Makayla Nielson, with Coach Jenny Ramey. They meet once a week for a three hour practice. During marching band season, the Color Guard team also practices with the band.

Ramey came to Brendan Burns, the LHS band director, with the idea for a Color Guard team five years ago. Ramey had experience coaching during college, and Burns was on board to help bring the idea to life.

The Color Guard community is very welcoming and emphasizes supporting each other.

“All the other teams are really supportive of everyone else, and it’s really cool to see,” said Cordelia Cattrysse, a member of the LHS team.

Cattrysse joined Color Guard after a friend talked her into it; she thought it looked fun. She had to get out of her comfort zone, she said, since she wasn’t use to dancing in front of people while also throwing and catching flags. Despite the long process, she thinks its a lot of fun and she enjoys her team and the competitions, she said.

Nielson also enjoys the competitions and performing at school events such as football games. As captain, she puts in a lot of energy towards making the performances the best they can be. It can be a struggle when so much effort is put in without visable payoff, but in the end it’s all worth it, she said.

“It’s so fun, though -- the feeling of satisfaction when I finally learn a challenging toss is unmeasurable,” Nielson said.

Color Guard is one of the behind-the-scenes gems at LHS with an inviting community that mixes hard work with talent. It may seem like throwing flags couldn’t be an art form, but the final product is undoubtedly dazzling.

As Cattrysse said, “Don’t be afraid to catch it. Catching is a choice where the answer is always yes.”

Color Guard team receives end of season awards. Photo by Jasmine Schmidt.

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Friday, May 6, 2022

Entertainment

The Batman conquers expectations despite criticism > WHAT IT’S ABOUT

> KEY CHARACTERS

Entertainment

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Turning Red teaches little girls about self love

By Aydann Long Entertainment Assistant

Batman Protagonist

Catwoman Protagonist

Riddler Antagonist

Also known as Bruce Wayne, this character is the brooding main character played by Robert Pattinson

Also known as Selina Kyle, this supporting character works to avenge her missing best friend. She is played by Zoe Kravitz.

Also known as Edward Nygma, the main antagonist’s aim is to punish every “rat” in Gotham.

He is played by Paul Dano.

Batman (Robert Pattinson) pictured in front of a dark background. Photo courtesy of uhdpaper.com.

By Madeline Gibson Cub Editor-in-Chief The Batman, starring Robert Pattinson, was a highly anticipated film with many Batman fans on the fence. Many speculated that, based on his past work, Pattinson couldn’t take the role in the right direction.

Despite the pressure of the role, on the fateful day of March 4, Pattinson proved triumphant.

The movie explores Batman as a detective, adding dimension to the character. He cannot use physical force as his only outlet. Pattinson shows the flawed side of Bruce Wayne that viewers wouldn’t normally see. Despite his posh British accent in real life, Pattinson delivers an excellent “Batman” voice, radiating intimidation, which fits the character well.

Pattinson’s intensity as Batman and Bruce Wayne pays off in every scene. It separates his performance from the others and the character feels genuine. Though there is no clear distinction between the character in the suit and out of it -- Batman and Bruce Wayne are almost the same entity in this movie. It almost works,

showing that Bruce still has to learn how to distinguish the two. But it doesn’t entirely work.

Overall, Pattinson offers an excellent performance; his hard work and dedication are precise.

Although the acting in this movie is an overall 5/5, with Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman and Paul Dano as the Riddler, it’s still challenging to stay engaged. The plot points and riddles tie together to break open a wild case that they are trying to follow. But unless a viewer is paying 100% attention to every detail and person in this movie, it’s easy to get lost, very quickly.

Characters are introduced left and right, and they are always crucial to the plot.

The film is also very long. With an outstanding 3 hours and 6 minutes, this movie is not one to watch casually. There are many action-packed scenes during those hours, but the length feels unnecessary. However, the film would feel incomplete without the amount of detail.

Even with the length of the movie and sometimes confusing plot, the overall film was enjoyable with quality story-telling and an excellent cast. This movie deserves a 4/5.

Carmine Falcone Antagonist An infamous crimelord in Gotham, he played an important role in Bruce’s parents’ death. Played by John Turturro.

James Gordon Protagonist The commissioner looks to Batman for help finding the Riddler. He remains one of the only noncorrupt police fficers in Gotham.

Played by Jeffrey Wright.

> RATING REASON: The Batman This movie earns a 4/5 because the story include such fantastic detail. The script is excellently written, and you feel as though you know each character. This is also because of the quality cast, including Robert Pattinson, Paul Dano, Zoe Kravitz, Colin Farrell and Jeffrey Wright. These talented actors truly stepped into their roles in this serious movie.

This movie isn’t perfect, but no movie is. While the writing is exceptional, the film is very long, and the plot is sometimes hard to follow. But it is a movie that could be watched more than once and still be enjoyed.

Alfred Pennyworth

Protagonist The caretaker of Bruce Wayne is put at risk during one the Riddler’s attacks.

This serves as a realization arc.

Played by Andy Serkis.

Turning Red made a breakthrough in Pixar history by showing topics about women’s puberty and making generational trauma the real villain of the story. Disney and Pixar made most gen-z dreams a reality with more relatable things from body positivity to puberty, making these things completely normal. With their new movies “Encanto” and “Turning Red”, stories show classic cases of parents/grandparents projecting trauma onto their children/grandchildren. Released on Feb 21, 2022, the “Turning Reds” conflict shows Mei trying to control her changing body, and her overprotective mother clinging to her every move. Director Domee Shi opens people’s hearts about family, food, and friendship with her film.

Even rated PG when I would consider it a PG-13 movie, but it’s not inappropriate. If there was a rating in between PG and PG-13 that’s what I would rate it. It was an amazing film, and it opened my eyes to some Chinese culture. Rosalie Chiang (Meilin’s voice actor) gives the feel of being a 13-year-old with confusing thoughts about my life and body again.

In this movie, our protagonist, Meilin Lee, learns about her family and culture through her family temple which doubles as a Canadian tourist attraction. When she finds out her family has a curse, she also learns to control her inner panda. Her mother Ming Lee, (voiced by Sandra Oh) is very controlling over Mei’s safety, grades, and social life. She eventually owns up to her mistakes and lets Mei go do things she wasn’t allowed to do before.

She understands that her daughter is growing up and becoming a young adult.

Meilin Lee writing down notes in her math class. Photo courtesy of uhdpaper.com.

Meilin Lee (Panda) Protagonist Meilin Lee is our protangonist, who has the ability to turn into a red panda with her emotions.

Ming Lee Protagonist

Abby Park

Miriam Mendelsohn

Tetartagonist

Deuteragonist

Ming Lee, Meilin’s mom, is the overprotective/ overbearing mother character, who tries to keep Mei from showing her panda.

Abby Park, one of Mei’s bestfriends.

She’s a very aggressive, but happy character when she shows her love for her friends.

Miriam Mendelsohn is Mei’s bestfriend.

She is very laid back and tries to get Mei out of her comfort zone when it comes to her mom.

> RATING REASON: Turning Red Overall this movie earns 5/5 stars. It was honestly amazing and one to watch it over and over. The animation is excellent, and Pixar has come a long way since Toy Story 1.

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Entertainment THE BENGAL’S PURR Marry Me proves cheesy films can be satisfactory

By Danica Keane Cub Sports Editor The rom-com, Marry Me, hit theaters Feb. 11 and is available to stream on Peacock. Directed by Kat Corio, the film is about two music superstars, Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) and Bastain (Maluma), who are engaged and about to marry each other with fans watching. However, right before the wedding, Valdez learns that her fiance has been cheating on her. While she is on stage, she has a meltdown.

During her meltdown, she meets the eyes of a total stranger named Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson), a man in the crowd holding his friend’s sign that says “Marry Me.” She decides to marry him, instead.

The morning after, she decides to stay married for six months, curious if love will develop. Charlie invites her to chaperone at a school dance, and the two share their first real kiss. When everything seems perfect, Bastain wants Kat to perform their hit song “Marry Me” together because it was nominated for a Grammy. Charlie gets jealous of the connection between them and breaks up with Kat. In classic romantic comedy fashion, Kat takes a plane to Charlie’s math team competition and holds up a sign that says “Marry Me,” just like in the beginning of the movie.

The film is filled with many rom-com movie tropes including a last minute plan to win someone back and slow dancing alone together at night. Most of it feels cheesy and uncomfortable. Wilson and Lopez are definitely not the pair one would expect to play the lead couple in a romantic movie. Lopez does amazing work with her part, and Wilson

Kat and Charlie share a heartfelt moment. Image courtesy of Peacock TV.

brings comedy into the movie with his one-liners.

It is supposed to be an “opposites attract” type of story, where the girlfriend is gorgeous while the boyfriend is unattractive. But the two of them together just feel out of place. Despite this, there are many cute moments with Charlie, his daughter, and with Kat learning to do things on her own.

The ending is very rushed and comes right when Kat goes to the competition. The film doesn’t have a good balance of romance and comedy. There are also too many not-so-subtle social media references that feel very forced.

Overall, the film is cute and cheesy like these

movies are supposed to be. The film has a run time of one hour and 52 minutes, which is a perfect time. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 58% and IMDb gave it a 6.2/10. The film shows that fame and fortune cannot buy true love.

This is why it deserves a 3/5.

Flashback Cinema brings the past to the big screen

By Declan Cattrysse Entertainment Editor

Lewiston Cinema lights up briliantly under the night sky. Image courtesy of Yelp.com.

Village Center Cinemas has been a staple in the L-C Valley since its opening in 2005. It is the only movie theater in the valley, and it never ceases to impress.

In 2020, COVID-19 hit hard. It affected businesses, families, schools, and daily lifestyles. However, if one good thing came out of it was is Flashback Cinema. When the theater opened again, there was a lack of new movies to show. Either production had shut down, or all-new movies went straight onto streaming services upon release. This posed a problem for movie theaters.

Village Center overcame this challenge by starting a new series of showings called Flashback Cinemas. There are two showing days for each movie, Sunday and Wednesday, and they play all kinds of older films, including the Harry Potter series, Shrek, The Outsiders, and recently, The Godfather. This is the perfect opportunity for fans of older films to have a chance at watching classic movies on the big screen.

There seem to be noy plans to stop the flashback movies, so they might be here to stay. It is fantas-

tic to see films from the 1980s, ‘90s, and 2000s on the silver screen in 2022. But it is also a great way to shine a light on some of Hollywood’s most excellent productions. Tickets are cheaper than they are for new films, which leaves people with more money for popcorn and snacks. This also makes it easier for larger families or friend groups to spend less money and have a good time together.

It is easy to say that Village Center Cinemas’ Flashback Cinema movies are fantastic and hopefully will not be leaving any time soon.

Lewiston Cinema in winter. Image courtesy of Kitchen-repairinformation.

12

Entertainment

THE BENGAL’S PURR

Genshin Impact proves to be a thrilling game

By Trebor McBean Reporter

Released in the fall of 2020 and published by Chinese Company; Mihoyo Ltd., Genshin Impact is an open-world RPG featuring a vast open-world on the continent of Teyvat. Genshin Impact is an anime-style game featuring nearly 40 unique playable characters as of a recent update (V 2.4), all containing individual abilities, distinct voice work, and high-quality character model designs. The title features diverse content, ranging from complex battle mechanics and combat to exploring the five current regions available -- to even home building and sim management similar to other titles like Animal Crossing. Genshin Impact is currently updated on a three-week to monthly basis, each update providing bundles of content and activities to keep players invested. The game presently has an age rating for ages 12+.

Genshin Impact, aside from online community stigma and allegations held against its player base (nearly all of which lack evidence), stands as an objectively diverse and immersive title with vastly different ranges on how one can approach and enjoy the game. As of a recent version, the story alone can take 40-70 hours to reach basic completion, and the game is slated to release five or six more regions in the coming years. This will lengthen that time to an estimated 200-hour story for a player to invest in.

The story and the plot it follows are exceptionally well laid-out, and so is the way that it ties into regional exploration, explaining the history of the world as a player tries to unravel its mysteries. Each region in the game has its purpose in the story, and each region is unique in its cultural basis. The three largest available regions are Inazuma (Historical Japan), Liyue (Historical China) and Mondstadt (Historical Europe). Each region features its unique cultural following, shown

in the dialogue of NPCs, the architecture of the cities and the clothing and appearances of individuals.

A significant part of the appeal to the game is the characters and the combat system. Nearly all of the playable characters have a marginal level of care and craft placed into their designs, voice work, and the way they play into the combat and exploration of the world. Several characters have notable voice actors in their respective language choice for the title. The English version has names such as Max Mittleton (Saitama, Ryuji Sakamoto), Elizabeth Maxwell (Sae Nijima, Kefla) and Keith Silverstein (Professor Oak, Hisoka). The other prominent voice-over used in-game is the Japanese dub, featuring names like Rie Takahashi (Megumin, Emilia), Koji Yusa (Shadow the Hedgehog, Gin Ichimaru) and Yumiri Hinamori (Ai Hayasaka, Shizu).

Moving into the game’s combat, a large basis of the mechanics in Genshin Impact flows from the Elemental system. Anyone familiar with Pokemon already has a reasonable understanding of how this works; certain elements counteract and react with each other to produce changes in effects. Aside from the reaction mechanics, equipment called “Artifacts” also play a prominent role in the gameplay. These are attainable through mostly easy means and enhance or even change the way characters can be played.

As with many other titles currently available in the marketplace, a player’s level of investment in the story of Genshin Impact can drastically vary the level to which one enjoys it and wishes to delve further.

The majority story has good pacing, although the community was conflicted with the story addition in a recent update to the game because of its lack of a genuine climax.

Aside from that, Genshin has hundreds upon hundreds of theories in circulation with new ones almost every day; the game even has an ongoing webtoon

and official lore and theory discussion channels on its websites. Mihoyo does a good enough job in making sure players stay invested with the way they implement little clues here and there and leave many things open-ended for players to discuss a prominent solution. The choice is yours.

Unfortunately, nothing can ever be deemed perfect, and Genshin is one of many to have its set of flaws.

The most prominent flaw would be its publishing and development company being in China, where the government has in the past restricted certain features and or story elements that fans would have enjoyed immensely (based on speculation). Despite this, the game still perseveres amidst government regulations.

The other major conflict fans deal with and has caused controversy throughout the game’s lifespan is the “Gacha” system the game follows. To attain and use certain weapons and characters, a player must spend the in-game currency on a lottery system with abysmal percentages of achieving the items wished upon. At a slow and limited pace, the in-game currency can still be earned through playtime. However, the real problem comes in that players can purchase the in-game currency to speed up attaining items they choose -- as there are guaranteed safety nets in place to gain the item eventually -- but at a cost. Purchasing the in-game currency is by no means cheap, and some can even $250 to gain the bare basics of what they are seeking, not including additional materials or anything else. Coupling this with the games means making the return daily with subtle structuring and “daily rewards.” This leads some people to spend excessive amounts of money and develop a subsequent gambling addiction -- throwing away loads of money on what is essentially a novelty item. Still, with the minor bugs and certain mechanics not always working correctly, Mihoyo is actively trying to find solutions to many of its problems.

Despite the flaws that many see as a deterrent to giving the title a try, the pros outweigh the cons significantly. This is especially true because the most considerable concern in the game can be avoided by exerting levels of basic self-control over one’s own purchase habits.

Genshin Impact has plenty to offer and can keep players engaged for long periods. I have nearly 500 hours placed into the title, as it has been an excellent, enjoyable and overall satisfying experience. I have having little to no regrets in investing that much time, and many others may come to enjoy it as well.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Entertainment

13

Wallows’ new album fails to live up to past efforts

By Sophia Gill Entertainment Assistant

Tell Me That It’s Over. Photo courtesy of nme.com

Wallows dropped its fifth album, Tell Me That It’s Over, on March 25. With a total of 10 songs, the alternative/ Indie rock band Wallows grabbed the attention of fans by dropping three tracks prior to that date. Those songs were “I Don’t Want to Talk,” “Especially You” and “At the End of the Day.” The album is said to be about entering adulthood and the challenges that the band has faced with it.

Wallows’ popularity skyrocketed in 2018 when its EP “Pictures of Girls” was released alongside the album Spring. Later the song “Are You Bored Yet” gained popularity on TikTok, just recently reaching 1 billion streams on Spotify.

As fans became excited to tune into Tell Me That It’s Over, since nothing initially impressive has come from their already dropped EPs. This album does show similarities to Virtual Aerobics, Wallows’ last album. Both albums show a different style than expected when compared to their first three albums. The style of music has become more techno-influenced, and more

closely related to 1990s pop rather than the indie rock that they are known for. “Hurt’s Me,” on Tell Me That It’s Over, is a great example of this techno-pop.

Despite the initial disappointment that the album brought, the tracks were more favorable than initially expected. When listening to the album multiple times and tuning into the tracks without bias, the music itself is impressive.

As members of Wallows have grown in both maturity and age, their music has grown with them.

Their albums have portrayed the experience of growing up, which many around the world relate to.

Wallows’ new album Tell Me That Its Over is a great success yet compared to their previous albums, it is sub par.

Peach Pit showcases stellar genre mixing on From 2 to 3

By Scout Alford Entertainment Assistant

From 2 to 3 album cover. Photo courtesy of genius.com

Peach Pit is an Indie/Surf Rock band from Vancouver, B.C., that gained popularity through the 2017 album, Being So Normal, and the 2016 EP. Peach Pit. The band released its third album From 2 to 3, on March 4. From 2 to 3 harnesses the band’s soft and pleasant vocals, stellar lead guitar, and musical organization heard on previous albums while successfully mixing genres.

“Up Grandville” is an awesome beginning to the album. When you first click play, you are met with a soothing repeated guitar lick that repeatedly comes back throughout the song. The electric guitar paired with the single strum pattern of the acoustic guitar and soft vocals make the song very easy to listen to.

No Peach Pit song would be great without a guitar solo from Chris Vanderkooy, a trademark face of the band.

“Vickie” is an upbeat and light listen. The almost twangy sound of the lead guitar gives a very inter-

esting sound to the song. “Vickie” since its release has worked itself up to be one of the most listened to songs on Peach Pit’s Spotify, and for good reason. To put it into more lyrical terms, “Vickie” just makes you want to get up and boogie.

“Lips Like Yours” instantly caught my attention because of the more diverse sound it offered compared to previous releases. Once again, “Lips Like Yours” offers beautiful vocals and lyrics. The smooth and easy-going verses are a great setup for the catchy and fun chorus. All of the different volumes and energy levels within the song make it a super fun listening experience.

“Pepsi on the House” is one of the songs that instantly caught my attention. The amount of sound and fuzzy guitar makes for a super high-energy chorus.

This paired with acoustic guitar makes a cool sound.

“Lookout” instantly stands out from the rest of the songs on the album for a variety of reasons. One, its slower tempo made a strong appearance compared to the other tracks. Two, the use of lap steel. Lap steel is like a guitar where you lay off your lap and pluck with your fingers and strum using a metal slide. Oftentimes, lap steel is used in western, Hawaiian, and bluegrass genres. The lap steel crossed with a more indie rock sound was done flawlessly and added another level of exploration of the album. “Last Days Of Lonesome”, although not as good of a song, follows those same elements with the lap steel, genre-blending, and beautiful vocals. But instead has more of a Hawaiian vibe instead of western.

“Everything about you” is just a cute song. The slow light sound of the guitar and sweet lyrics makes it very pleasant. The way this song gains sound and energy throughout is very interesting. It is cool to listen to the very beginning and very end of the song because

of how they differ. Not the best track but a solid song.

Continuing on the more western, honky exploration, “Give Up Baby Go” follows the same theme. This song once again perfectly exhibits genre blending and a more honky tonk sound. “Give Up Baby Go” is like if Glen Campbel wrote an indie rock song. The sound of the song with the juxtaposition of the heavy and truthful lyrics creates a very emotional and deep song.

“Drips of a Wire” feels slow on the get-go but, with the full energy of the chorus, it pulls itself together, and the drums and guitar solo add depth. Not the best song on the album but definitely a fun listen.

The track “2015” starts with a fun guitar and cool drums. The lyrics stand out in this song as more of an upbeat hopeless love song. Overall, it’s a repetitive yet engaging song. The transition of the end of the song into the closing song of the album “From 2 to 3” is very smooth. The repetitive acoustic guitar makes the soft start of the drums stand out from the rest of the song. “From 2 to 3” is a somber and relaxing end to an awesome album. While it is not the best song on the album, it is a perfect finale for this collection of music.

Overall, From 2 to 3 harnesses the soft and pleasant vocals, stellar lead guitar, and musical organization from their previous albums and successfully pulled off honkytonk and indie rock genre mixing. It earns a 5 out of 5.

14

THE BENGAL’S PURR

Opinion

America imposes unrealistic ideas of weight loss

By Hannah Shoffitt Senior Opinion Editor Diet culture has permeated the eating patterns and value systems of many Americans. It is defined as the belief that weight and body shape are more important than general health and well-being.

Diet culture manifests itself in glorifying weight loss, giving foods moral labelings or even cutting out food groups altogether. This belief system is harmful and creates more problems than it ultimately solves.

Whether it’s on social media or television, new diets claim the viewer will “lose 20 pounds in a week” or “have a slimmer belly” if they adhere to their regimen. In reality, these “diets” are quick fixes where lost weight is challenging to keep off. For example, the ketogenic or “keto” diet. It is primarily used to manage epileptic seizures in children but has been adopted by many worldwide as a weight loss plan.. It promotes a high-fat, low-carb diet, fat supplying up to 90% of the daily calories. The idea behind the diet is that it provides the body with a different fuel. Rather than burning glucose (sugar) from carbohydrates like legumes, grains, vegetables, and fruits, the body will start relying on ketone bodies that the liver produces from stored fat, according to Harvard medical school’s health department.

“The high-fat content — and especially the high level of unhealthy saturated fat — combined with limits on nutrient-rich foods is a concern for longterm heart health.” according to mayoclinic.org.

Though ketogenic is only one example of a strict diet, many others are circulating and gaining popularity. Despite these messages and regimens, it’s important to note that thinness does is not synonymous with wellness, and fatness does not equate to being unhealthy. The primary source that construes the truth of the above statement is the BMI. Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet, a 19th-century mathematician, created the Body Mass Index still used by physicians today. It divides a person’s weight by their squared height to measure their level of obesity. This measurement is not physiologically correct, as it does not take bone or muscle mass into account. For example, Lebron James, LA Lakers shooting guard and NBA all-star, is 250 lbs and 6’9”, classifying him as overweight with a 26.8 BMI. When doctors inform their patients they have a high BMI and should consider losing weight, it can cause feelings of self-disgust or shame within themselves, and most of the time, the advice is unnecessary. The same could be said of the psychological effects of diet culture.

How does diet culture manifest itself in everyday life? It could pop up in several blatant or subliminal ways. It could be receiving negative comments about your body, criticism about what’s on your plate, or marketing schemes meant to get you to

Illustration courtesy of Arielle Chen, Daily Trojan.

buy the company’s bogus products. It can also be rebranded with “clean eating” or focus on health and fitness.

Obviously, eating nutritious food is essential for health and wellness. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins should be at the forefront of everyone’s eating patterns. Alternatively, having an obsessive and controlling mental dialogue while eating or thinking about it should not be normalized. These thoughts can turn into harmful habits of restricting caloric intake, feeling fearful or depressed during meal-time, or modifying foods to be “better for you” (such as sugar-free cookies or substituting bread with bell peppers.) That’s great if healthier alternatives are genuinely enjoyed, but if it is forced or the alterations come from a place of shame or fear, then it’s psychologically unhealthy.

If “clean-eating” is taken far enough, it can develop into orthorexia.

Orthorexia Nervosa defines “(individuals) becoming so fixated on so-called ‘healthy eating’ that they actually damage their own well-being.” according to nationaleatingdisorders.org.

“You may avoid certain celebrations because you need to eat clean. Or, like me, have a meltdown at a grocery store or restaurant when the item I had planned all week to get is out of stock. Yes, I’ve had

panic attacks and even cried over raw vegetables and organic produce.” said Jason Wood, a recovered orthorexic who told his story on thisismybrave.org.

Diet culture enhances the probability of developing an eating disorder and having a poor body image and low self-esteem. It’s essential to detect it and have the ability to fight it.

A great way to combat diet culture is eating intuitively. At times, it’s easier said than done as it is eating when you’re hungry, eating what sounds good, and stopping when you’re full or satisfied.

This tactic has been shown to mend unhealthy relationships with food.

Another way is to incorporate movement naturally and healthily. Many that adhere to diet culture’s standards find themselves in the gym for insane amounts of time without nearly enough fuel.

Low-impact exercise or moving in enjoyable ways can help with consistency and boost mood.

Social media is a medium that diet culture followers use to spread gimmicks and harmful information, and so it’s also important to block or restrict accounts that perpetuate these ideas. Finding support from people in-person who idealize the same beliefs will also aid in kicking diet culture to the curb in personal lives.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Opinion

15

Extra, extra! Battered woman makes a comeback!

Hollywood’s strange obsession with the worst parts of society

By Paxtyn Latta Opinion Assistant Reporter's note: This article addresses abuse, rape and sexual assault, all of which can be sensitive topics.

Readers should continue at their own risk. While this is an uncomfortable topic, it is essential to recognize what needs to change, and we should criticize about our society. This article serves as a voice for those who can’t speak for themselves, and is a step towards trying to break down the film industry's current standard of “normalcy.”

When Sixteen Candles dropped in theaters in 1984, it seems that it immediately became a pinnacle in the American film-making industry. The plot follows Samantha (Molly Ringwald) as she navigates her way through her 16th birthday. The movie focuses on Samantha's struggles with family, relationships and virginity-- all typical teenage issues that are resolved by the movie's end.

However, this movie is not entirely what it seems. It is now harshly criticized for its misogynistic jokes, the racist portrayal of an Asian character, and one other "minor" thing: a rape scene.

High school senior and main antagonist Carolyn (Haviland Morris) throws a party at her boyfriend Jake’s (Michael Schoeffling) house while his parents are out of town. After a drunken argument with Jake, she passes out on his bed, and her (sober) boyfriend goes downstairs to find their friend, Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) trapped under a glass coffee table. He frees Ted and mixes drinks for the both of them as they discuss their escapades of the night. It is at this point that Jake remarks, “I’ve got Carolyn in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her 10 different ways if I wanted to.” To this, Ted replies, “What are you waiting for?”

After this, Jake and Ted make a trade; Ted gives Sam's underwear to Jake in exchange for taking Carolyn home. But alas, Ted doesn't just take Carolyn home.

In the scenes that follow, directors lead viewers to believe that Ted and (passed-out, incoherent and intoxicated) Carolyn have "sex."

Many brush off this scene as a reflection of the time. Because it was 1984, directors cannot be held accountable for this, right? Things have changed enough in the film industry that this lapse in judgment can still be ignored, right?

Wrong.

More often than not, Hollywood creates one of two situations when portraying abuse. The first is painting the abuser in such a light that their abuse is seen as love thinly veiled with possessiveness.The second is representing the victim in a way that makes their past irrelevant to who they are as a person. It completely dismisses the never-ending cycle of healing that real victims have to live through. With these characters in mind, there are myriad ways that Hollywood incorporates casual abuse into shows. This can include using abuse as a filler for time, using assault

as the crux of a character’s development, or even romanticizing the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

There are hundreds of other ways to go about it, and film directors and producers have been getting away with it for years in some of the world’s most popular TV series and movies.

Game of Thrones producers have been under fire numerous times for their casual use of rape to fill dead time in their shows. The first episode of the series introduces Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clark) as a young girl sold into a marriage with Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) by her brothers. After their wedding, Targaryen is violently raped. She is shown sobbing throughout the scene as she strips while the sun sets behind her. This ends in about 2 minutes as the screen cuts to black at the beginning of her assault.

And producers did not stop there. Throughout eight seasons, the show contained over 50 scenes of violent assault of some kind, despite being harshly criticized by survivors of actual sexual assault. Some have defended the directors for being accurate to the 1996 book Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.

And others feel that the scenes are justified because directors can do what they want, creatively.

Whether or not it is accurate to the book, the moral decision to fill dead time in a show with sexual assault is questionable at best. Victims of actual sexual assault spend years learning how to recooperate from their trauma. In contrast, women who are mercilessly assaulted in shows are never seen processing and healing from what has happened. Though almost every offender dies by the end of the series, death does not undo the past. People still have to process their experiences after the cause of their trauma dies.

Similar shows such as Scandal, American Horror Story, and Reign have all been criticized for the same thing.

Meanshile, YOU, a Netflix Original series released in 2019, quickly gained popularity for its cunning main character, Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) and his obsessive love for Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail). The first season follows Goldberg as he commits gruesome murders to ensure that he will carry out his ideal future with Beck. Of course, this plan goes down in flames once Beck finds a jar of teeth and a phone he stole from her in the ceiling tile of his bathroom.

By the end of season three, Goldberg has murdered about 11 people (that viewers know of ) and abandoned his child. This is all so he could move to Paris in search of the woman who he was having an affair with during his previous marriage.

This show's plot, while being part of the problem, is not the most alarming thing about the show itself.Rather, it is how the directors complicate Joe's character so that viewers sympathize with him. The hurt child within Goldberg deserves sympathy, but not the adult man with the means to go to therapy, who chooses to murder people instead.

These are just a few of the hundreds of shows, skits and movies that Hollywood has produced and popularized because they are supposed to feel real.

However, film producers have managed to glorify

Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) peers through his neighbor’s fence. Photo courtesy of people.com.

every feasible aspect of an abusive relationship, making it seem beautiful or like true love.

Unfortunately, the film industry's glorification of assault, manipulation and abuse has leaked into people's real lives, especially of those working in the industry itself.

Since the early 1920s, speculation about misconduct within the industry has been common due to surges in reports about well-known directors, actors and actresses behaving inappropriately towards their co-workers, especially minors.

In 1977, Roman Polanski, a Polish-French film director, fled the country after being charged with sexual abuse against a minor. In 2003 Jeffrey Jones, a popular 1990s actor, was arrested for possession of child pornography and for hiring a 14-year-old boy to pose for suggestive photos. In 2017, the late talent agent and actor Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sexual assault by over 80 women.

In many Hollywood productions, there is a clear reflection an industry that is generally patriarchal, ignorant, and inhumane. There are undeniable similarities between the kinds of abuse that take place on-screen and off-screen in the film industry.

The fact that the abusers are rarely held accountable is a combination of horrifying and enraging.

With this in mind, the question must be asked: Why is it OK for famous people to take advantage of abusive situations? People regularly suffer from abuse, but Hollywood turns it into something to overlook -convincing the world to see it as nothing.

16 Opinion THE BENGAL’S PURR Struggling students still need Access time ACCESS DENIED?

By Madeline Gibson Cub Editor-in-Chief

Access period, which used to be weekly, at LHS has had some noticeable changes since March 3. At first, Access was canceled altogether. Then, it was changed to keep students in their first-period classes, rather than transitioning to their Access classrooms, and students could not transition to any other classrooms. Some students have significantly struggled because of the inability to go to other classes during. It is bad enough that Access is canceled so frequently (for seemingly no good reason). Now, students are stuck in their first-period classes and have no chance to communicate with most of their teachers about schoolwork.

Access was created to serve as a regularly scheduled period for holding class elections and other activities without taking class time from the teachers. However,

this spring it has reportedly been canceled for reasons such as class time lost with short school weeks, along with some students leaving class, and some students not using the time to get work done. Though changes need to be implemented to make Access more efficient, Access should not be canceled entirely. A couple of students causing problems should not warrant a complete shutdown of a helpful program for kids who need it. Instead, teachers should be cracking down on the students who cause these problems, individually.

Many teachers blame innocent students for the trouble caused by others because they do not have “enough respect for the school.” In reality, the students are not responsible for the administration’s lack of control over the school. Why would kids who have done nothing wrong want to stand up for a school that offers them little to no support? Access was one of the only supports that students could regularly count on. We could use the time talk to teachers if we did not understand something, or we could catch up on homework. Sure, there is Evening Academy twice a week, but some students who would find use in that program cannot drive, nor do they have someone to give them a ride back to school at night.

There may not be any perfectly sound solutions to the Access problem at LHS, but getting rid of the students’ chance to talk to teachers or catch up on homework is not the one to pick.

There are plenty of changes to be made.

Many students take advantage of the valuable work time, and making the entire student body suffer does no one any good.

Even some teachers agree with these concerns from students.

“It is like we come up with a solution, and Cynthia Yarno it causes three more problems,” said Cynthia Yarno, who teaches at LHS. “We need to have Access because we need to have a built-in thing in our schedule, so events are not pulling kids out of classes. We need something for kids to make up work with teachers.”

Was Access beneficial the way it was before?

Dekin Carney, Sophomore

Bryan Harris, Senior

Mackenzie Aaseby, Senior

“Yes, I did think it was beneficial. I got a lot of work done.”

“Yes. I appreciated having an amount of time allotted to me, allowing me to catch up on schoolwork and tests.”

“No, because too many people took advantage of the idea of Access and used it as a free period.”

What would you change about Access?

Compiled by Kaitlyn Fowler, Sports Assistant In April The Bengal’s Purr surveyed LHS students to find out if Access period has been helpful to them. (For more survey results, see page 3.)

Below is a selection of anonymous responses to the question, “What would you change about Access?”

• • • • •

I like how we did Access and were able to transition and go to other classes to make up work if we had to. I liked being able to have Access and it helped me a lot.

Get rid of it completely. It is not useful to the majority of students and a lot of people just skip it anyways. Whenever I do have homework, I’ll use that time period to do that, but other than that I’ll just sit there and play on my phone or talk to people.

That we would still be able to go to another Access class if we need to work on something.

Allow us to have Access passes and go to other classes again because it makes it easier to get help or make up quizzes.

I really like staying in my first hour class because I get to be with an actual teacher that I have, but I would really like to be able to transition.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Satire

17

School district requires Orbeez guns for safety

By Jordis Aiken Sports Assistant

FAKE NEWS In an effort to protect students from potential dangers, local schools will now require them to carry an Orbeez gun at all times when on campus.

These guns have proven to be non-lethal; they will only leave a welt the size of a nickel. The guns are not to be used during class times, only during passing periods, lunch and before or after school.

The only limitations are no headshots, no teachers and no vehicles.

The Purr interviewed a few students, asking their opinions on the new Orbeez gun mandate.

“I personally think it’s a really good idea. There has been some strange stuff happening here at the school,” said an LHS senior.

But one freshman added, “I think it’s going to be very dangerous with everyone carrying an Orbeez gun around school. To be honest, I’m quite scared.”

The Orbeez requirement will take effect after Memorial Day weekend, which would be the perfect time to go out and purchase one.

Photo courtesy of Shorenewsnetwork. com.

Moscow, Idaho changes name to cut ties with Russia

By Jasmine Schmidt Cub Editor-in-Chief

FAKE NEWS Leaders of the city of Moscow, Idaho, have decided to change the town’s name in light of the crisis in Ukraine. With the purpose of cutting all ties with Russia, the town is taking on the title of “JollyGreen-Giant-Ville.” Other names were considered, including “Moshorse” and “Rheialnsdng” (which may sound Russian, but insider sources claim it was an accidental recording of the mayor sneezing).

The new name came after a $502 deal with the Green Giant frozen vegetable corporation. The town of Dayton, Washington, which was in contract with the company, chose not to renew the deal, creating an in for Moscow.

In addition to the name, the Moscow city code will change effective May 32, 2022, making it mandatory for all outside buildings to be painted green. The interior of the buildings and houses in Moscow can remain a non-vegetable color for now, but new codes look like to pass soon. After that, it will be expected for an “only green” bill to pass, making it illegal for the new Jolly-Green-Giant-Villeians to wear any other color than green, except for on Thursdays.

In exchange for all this, Green Giant will be give free vegetables to the newly named town. Any person living inside city limits will receive an unlimited supply of the frozen vegetables. The JollyGreen-Giant-Ville mayor said he believes this will be an ultimately beneficial deal for the people. As true frozen vegetable enthusiast, the mayor ended the press conference by throwing frozen peas at reporters.

Playful seniors paint house according to government mandate. Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com.

Tesla develops new electric automobile technology

By Declan Cattrysse Entertainment Editor

FAKE NEWS

Tesla charges up. Photo courtesy of Smartcitiesworld. net.

In light of recent inflation of gas pricees, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has further revolutionized the electric car industry with inventions to expand his electrical empire. The latest development offers a way for people to keep the cars they love with the luxury of cheaper fuel costs.

The idea for this new technology started when Musk attended a Lewiston High School event where students competed to see who could rev their car engines the loudest (see extended coverage of this on page 19). Musk realized how much money was being wasted on gas for this competition, so he decided to create an alternative to diesel motors and loud trucks. It’s called Tiesel.

This electric fuel alternative maintains the loud and annoying sounds of a diesel engine, along with its dark and conspicuous exhaust output. A Tiesel engine (trademark pending) is a more efficient substitute for the average diesel truck engine, getting 80 miles per gallon, while a diesel truck would only get around 25 mpg at most.

Musk plans to release this technology to the public this summer when he reveals a truck prototype that doesn’t look like a toddler designed it. While there is a lot of controversy around Tiesel, Musk assures both fans and haters that this will only help extend the planet’s lifespan. The 50-year-old CEO compared his technology to Impossible Foods’ meat alternatives.

“It sounds like a diesel and runs like a diesel,” Musk said. “The only difference is that you don’t have to go to the gas station to fuel up. You know the saying, ‘if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it’s a duck.’”

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18

Satire

THE BENGAL’S PURR

Ye changes legal name to “Kim’s Husband”

By Jasmine Schmidt Cub Editor-in-Chief

FAKE NEWS

Ye, commonly known as Kanye West, has decided to change his name to “Kim’s Husband.” This was the third name change this week, after “Kimye forever” and “it’s been awhile since i filled out this form where do i put my name?”. This move has been one of many reasonable attempts Ye has made hoping to win back his wife, Kim Kardashian, who has separated from him. In January 2022, Ye added a lyric in his song “Easy” threatening Kardashian’s boyfriend Pete Davidson. Threats are perfectly warranted in a situation like this, where someone decides to leave a relationship for their own good. Clearly if Ye feels strongly enough to threaten someone, he is full of love for Kardashian and would be a healthy part of her life.

He has also been taking to social media to make his point. One argument he has is that Kardashian is a bad parent and is not letting Ye have an equal part

in parenting. Ye’s constant posting (and deleting of posts) shows his emotional attachment to his kids as well as his lack of compromise with his wife. It is important for a parent to be set in their ways and unwilling to waiver despite wishes of other rational people.

The drama he creates by Ye poses for cameras. Phoposting his personal issues to courtesy of Wikpedia. with Kardashian -- tempting viewers to take sides -- adds to the polarizing environment of social media. This is beneficial to everyone because people can get emotionally invested in something that in no way affects them and can lead to real-world actions, or to people making negative posts on other accounts.

Another main topic on his social media is his hate towards Davidson. Ye is clear about Davidson’s despicable traits, such as dating Kardashian and pursu-

ing his own career. Ye also deletes his posts regularly, making it difficult to track the story at a later point.

The posts are necessary in this situation, though, because Ye needs to get his intense feelings about the situation out somehow, and sometimes counseling or a friend doesn’t have the same reaction as millions of followers on Instagram.

is a type of sexuality that he invented. During his casual stalking of Kardashian, it took Ye some time to figure out that the one he truly cared about was Pete.

The Purr interviewed Kardashian about the situation.

“I always knew there was something wrong with Ye, but I never could tell what it was,” the social media star shared. “There was something missing in his life, and what was missing was Pete.”

The question is, how does Davidson feel about him? The Saturday Night Live star has been silent about the situation. According to

inside sources, he hasn’t gone to work since the announcement.

Speaking of the announcement, we all know that West doesn’t do “small.” West just released his newest album, which is dedicated to his new love, and is called Petye, a name that West made up himself. The album consists of 10 tracks with the three singles being “bye bye Kimmy, hello Petey,” “Petye 4 life,” and “Pete ain’t no gold digger.”

West released some text messages between the two revealing that Davidson stopped SNL from making jokes about the situation. In response, West told the Purr, “Of course Pete did that for me. He loves me, even if he hasn’t talked to me since the release of the album. Pete is an amazing man for me, and he’ll be an amazing husband.”

Just yesterday, Davidson managed to reach out about the situation.

“I haven’t even seen Kanye since the drama started,”Davidson said. “I don’t know why he’s telling everyone that we’re together, but he has been texting me nonstop. He even sent me a photoshopped picture of us getting married. I don’t know if he’s joking or if he’s serious.

It’s scaring me.”

The album Petye has already been nominated for a Grammy and is most likely going to win. Let’s just hope no one goes on stage and takes the microphone from Ye like he did to Taylor Swift in 2009.

Kim Kardashian cries over name change. Image courtesy of Amazon. com.

Ye confesses love for Pete Davidson through album

By Danica Keane Cub Sports Editor

American rapper Ye (also known as Kanye West or as Kim’s Husband) has revealed his true love for Pete Davidson, his former enemy.

After the controversy with his ex-wife Kim Kardashian, Ye realized that it was really Davidson whom he loved all along. He came out as “Petesexual” which

FAKE NEWS (Left) Album cover for Petye features the new couple. Image created by Jordis Aiken and Danica Keane. (Right) Ye confesses his love.

Image by Danica Keane.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Satire

19

LHS holds first annual engine-revving competition

By Chayton Brewer-Burgin Senior Managing Editor

FAKE NEWS Seeing the growing number LHS students driving large diesel pickups and straight-piped vehicles, Vice Principal Thad Carlint found a fantastic opportunity to bond with students and create something fun and annoying for the rest of LHS. Carlint is putting together an engine-revving competition that will take place during this spring’s final exam days. This will ensure that the campus is quiet to maximize the volume of the engines.

Several students are incredibly excited about this opportunity.

One student, Leeroy Dentures, stated that he wants to bring his father’s semi-truck that, when revved, has about the same decibels as a rock concert. More students are signing up for the event every day, all hoping for a chance to prove that their engine can make the most noise.

If the school is lucky enough, this might be able to cause enough noise to be heard from the coast of Oregon. Carlint added that if enough people participate and enjoy this event, they might hold the competitions during winter finals week and days for the ISAT, PSAT and SAT, solidifying the stress of test-taking.

An LHS student shows off his new ride in the school parking lot. Photo courtesy of carscoops.com.

Admin giveth, admin taketh away District takes away prep hour for teachers

By Paxtyn Latta Opinion Assistant

No bathroom breaks will be allowed from here on out.

Photo courtesy of clipartix.com.

FAKE NEWS In light of recent abuse of school time that is not fully accounted for by adults, LHS leaders made the executive decision to take away all students’ bathroom privileges. Nullifying students “prep” period, Access, was not enough, leaders found.

At the same time, school officials worry that stu-

dents are taking advantage of the time their teachers have “allowed” them to do their business. Among the biggest time-wasters they fear? Students simply “taking breaks” in the bathroom.

“We’ve found that many students may experience extremities on the calmness scale, right?” said Shondah Rhymes, a school secretary. “Especially within the classroom. So, sometimes students will feel either overwhelmed or underwhelmed, and they decide they just want to take a break. Of course, that’s OK, but there’s also a specific place for you to take breaks: the counselor’s office.”

Rhymes continued, “So when students decide to take 5-minute breaks in the bathroom, they start to add up. One 5-minute bathroom break every period for a week adds up to an hour and 40 minutes.”

When asked about taking a proactive approach rather than a reactive approach to boredom or tension within the classroom, Rhymes noted that students’ Access periods and lunch are their opportunities to take breaks.

“Unfortunately, students decided to break our trust and ruin it for everybody by leaving the premises,”Rhymes said. “Until we feel we can trust our students again, bathrooms and Access just won’t be a privilege any more.

Students are wondering, if people are continuously leaving because they feel as though they can’t keep up or slow down at school, why would administrators remove the two most time-efficient ways for students to balance and collect themselves?

School officials were unavailable for comment on this question.

By Jordis Aiken Sports Assistant

FAKE NEWS

With Access period mostly cancelled until further notice, LHS students decided to take a stand and give the teachers a taste of their own medicine.

Several parents called the school district to complain about the removal of Access and how it would negatively impact students’ grades. District leaders agreed with the parents’ complaints and made the executive decision to also take away LHS teachers’ prep hours.

Leaders said it was wrong of the high school to take away this learning time for students, adding that they also wanted to start a little drama in the school.

This change will take effect on May 32, 2022. Teachers will have a class every hour, and the only prep time they receive will be before and after school on their own time -- just as students have to make up tests and quizzes on their own personal time.

The Purr interviewed a teacher, Penney Petunia, about this new change.

“I regret reporting all the students that were skipping my Access class. Now I don’t get my prep hours,” Petunia said. “I really value my prep hours. That’s when I plan what I’m going to do next class, and it’s really nice to have a break during the day.”

20 Satire THE BENGAL’S PURR true High school newspaper on Zuckerberg’s identity revealed thin ice with British royalty FAKE NEWS

By Matthew Dugdale Photo Manager

By Declan Cattrysse Entertainment Editor

FAKE NEWS

The Queen threatens the juvenile in question. Photo illustration by Josh Tatko.

Queen Elizabeth II has an extraordinary record in the duration of her reign over the United Kingdom, alongside her extended lifespan. She is the oldest monarch in history as of 2015, when His Majesty King Abdullah Bin Abdulaziz Al Saud of Saudi Arabia died at age 90.

Over the last year, The Bengal’s Purr has published two satire stories related to Her Royal Majesty. These stories, written by a student who is now in hiding, poked fun at the queen’s undying rule, alleging her immortality and inventing a royal tribute to the late Betty White.

These articles, however, were not taken so lightly by the woman who inspired them. The journalist responsible recently received a strongly-worded letter on papyrus paper. Written in ink with a feather quill, it stated that Her Majesty had a personal distaste for the articles. She wrote that if the blatant defamation of herself and other British royalty continues, the Royal Guard shall take matters into its own hands.

This letter has left the entire staff at The Bengal’s Purr distressed. As most people would agree, getting killed by the Queen’s Royal Guard sounds most unpleasant.

It is now evident that this threat is an overt attempt

by Queen Elizabeth to hide her immortal gifts. She knows that The Bengal’s Purr is getting closer to uncovering the darkest secrets of Britain’s beloved, so she must do anything to keep them off her trail. It is unclear what the next move will be for the journalist and The Bengal’s Purr. However, one thing is certain: this is another article about Queen Elizabeth II.

Edgy skater takes world by storm

By Seyi Arogundade Cub Features Editor

FAKE NEWS

On March 15, The Bengal’s Purr had a sit-down interview with the latest resident Skater Boi at LHS. Brock Rawk, the owner of a longboard, told The Purr about his newfound popularity.

“It was kinda weird to me at first,” Rawk stated. “I was kind of a loser before I started wearing beanies and carrying around a longboard.”

Rawk shared a quick deep dive into his life before he got a skateboard.

“I was a nerd. No one noticed me, and no one liked me,” he said. “I was kind of a loner.”

Rawk described constant bullying throughout middle school. (By bullying, he means that no one would date him.)

“It was hard because when I would ask females on a date they would say no. It just really affected my mental health.”

Even through these traumatic experiences in middle school, he still found ways to cope.

“I dealt with it the same way lots of guys deal with rejection,”he said. “I yelled at the females who rejected me and listened to sad rap music afterwards.”

After he was turned down for the 23rd time, Rawk decided to change. He described how he went through several phases and personality changes.

“I tried the whole indie-boy vibe. I tried the golden-retriever-boy thing. I was even an e-boy for a few days. But eventually I settled on the Skater Boi aesthetic,” he said.

The Purr asked other students about the this local celebrity.

“I think it’s kind of cool that he likes to skateboard,” said a girl with Greta Thunberg braids.

“I mean, everyone is too busy polluting the earth with their cars. At least he’s trying to reduce Brock Rock poses to show off his new his carbon look. Photo courtesy of pinterest.com footprint.”

Another girl shared her feelings for Rawk.

“Oh, he was the weird kid in middle school who yelled at me for not dating him,” she said. “I truly hope his skateboard breaks.”

Rawk later revealed that he does not, in fact, know how to skateboard. However, he is scheduled to go on three dates this week.

On July 30, 2020, NASA launched the rover Perseverance to investigate the surface of Mars. A serendipitous discovery was made, exposing the Martian origins of Mark Zuckerberg.

The tech genius has denied interviews about his life before arriving on Earth. He has, however, answered a list of questions for the public. Many have had speculations about his species, and he settled the rumors.

“Though very controversial, I am not a ‘lizard-person,’ as some might say,” Zuckerberg explained. “For the rest of my species and I myself, I find this highly offensive. I prefer the term ‘humanly-challenged.’”

Zuckerberg also confessed to creating Facebook for the data collection of humans.

“The plan was to invade, but we never found the right time,” he said. “The very thing that we created kept reminding us of the birthday of each human on earth. My species finds birthing dates to be sacred, and we keep the peace.”

Since this humanly-challenged species has proven to have superior technology, all humans can do is pray they don’t invade.

“The Rock” canceled for his excessive attractiveness

By Danica Keane Cub Sports Editor

FAKE NEWS

In 2021 and 2022, many celebrities have been canceled for different reasons. But one beloved celebrity has been canceled for the unthinkable. Was it racism?

Homophobia? Sexism? No. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has been canceled for being too attractive. It’s not because he promotes unrealistic body standards; it’s because he is just too attractive. His beauty causes all the moms to enter a crazy spiral in which they fight everyone who shares the same opinion.

“The Rock” has yet to release a statement.

Every mom in the world has been taken to a facility where they can no longer look at any picture of him or watch any movie with him in it. It’s been a long, hard time for the moms in the facility. The Purr had the opportunity to interview a woman in the facility named Becky Bieber.

“My obsession started when I saw him in the movie Tooth Fairy,” she said. “After that, I did intense research on him and his life. I know that his favorite color is blue and his dog is named Rupert.”

The question remains, though: how is this Johnson’s fault? His level of attractiveness is causing insanity and violence. It’s definitely not the fault of these moms. It’s on him due to his strong, beautiful and toned arms. He’s too gorgeous, and he must be stopped.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Satire

21

Procrastination takes a hold of students academics

By Lauren Martin Cub Managing Editor

FAKE NEWS

As we begin the approach to finals, some may find it difficult to break their procrastination habits.

“It’s just so hard to find the motivation to study sometimes when you know you have so much work ahead of you,” says sophomore Anna Williams.

Well, guess what…you don’t have to!

Recent studies show that procrastination is the best way to study because it gives students additional pressure since they don’t already have enough.

“There are lots of people who work better under pressure. That’s the reason that some prefer to work as EMTs and not at a typical desk job. This type of person will work best knowing that if they mess up at that very moment, there is no going back. There is no time for mistakes—no time to let that essay

brew in the back of your mind and come up with sound logic or good mechanics. Instead some procrastinate until the last minute and this has proven to be effective. The stress actually produces masterpieces that would have otherwise received good grades had students started them earlier,” says Daniel Wright, a professor at Cambridge University.

Procrastination is also far more convenient for students. Many simply have more important things to do, like listening to Spotify or mindlessly scrolling through TikTok. Junior Noah Moore added: “Making time to get my mind off things, like that nagging homework I know I’ll have to do later, has really been effective for me.

Sure, I’ve had to stay up into the early hours of the morning to finish my homework, and yes it has cost me a lot of time when I could have been sleeping, but I don’t see how there’s anything wrong with that. I’ve been getting really good grades on my assignments— high Cc’s, low D’s, you know.”

Noah Moore staying up until seven in the morning finishing school work. Photo courtesy of GradePower Learning.

College tuition piles on students Students envy good sleeping habits of others FAKE NEWS

By Ava Mohr News Assistant

ly is too affordable for students, so higher education will still not profit from the latest prices. Another student shared Smith’s opinions.

“I think college can never be expensive. It is 100% worth the joy of an unguaranteed job, stress, and unpayable debt,” said Martha Johnson.

She attends Priceless University with Smith. Johnson said that the stresses of attending college and acquiring student debt will always be her fondest memories of her experience at Priceless University.

She says that the rising prices will be worth it after graduation because she will be one-eighth of a step closer to finding a job. After higher education, she said she expects a lifetime of working will pay for almost a sixteenth of her student debt.

College and university students in the U.S. are sharing growing excitement as the cost of attending higher education has increased this spring.

On Monday, March 21, Overpriced Private University increased its tuition to $600,000 annually. Over the next few days, other private universities, such as Expensive University and Costly College, followed suit and raised their tuition and fees to over $550,000. Some public universities have recognized the new Chad finally getting a whole four hours of sleep. Photo courtesy of daniel-wong.com. prices and have adjusted theirs

By Lauren Martin emphasized that he did not slack on his accordingly. A study predicts that Cub Managing Editor studies in order to get rest. the rising expenses of higher edu“I just work hard at it and it seems to cation will continue into the next work out just fine,” said Smith, who five years, resulting in costs of over manages a full schedule of AP courses, 5,000% higher than the amount in Last night, junior Chad Smith report- on-campus college classes, clubs and 2021. edly achieved the nine hours of rest extracurriculars, and two varsity sports.

“I love the new fees. It is incredirecommended by the American Sleep Harvard’s psychology program con- bly satisfying to watch the money Foundation, making him both an idol tacted Smith’s family just a few hours in my bank account drain away and and major envy for much of the student after the remarkable occurrence. Sci- see the numbers drop below zero. I population. entists asked to run cognitive tests on mean, who needs money anyway?”

“I woke up this morning feeling fully Smith to gain knowledge of how this said John Smith, a student attendrested. It was unlike anything I’ve ever anomaly might have taken place. The ing Priceless University. experienced. I felt rejuvenated and full family has yet to respond.

Smith shared his excitement on of life. I don’t know how to describe it, Smith added: “I feel lucky that this the new costs and how he and most it’s just like I was actually ready to take happened to me. I hear stories about of the 12,567 other students aton the day,” said Smith. “It wasn’t as hard my friends making all-nighters a regular tending the public university plan as I expected. It just sort of happened, thing—it’s time for ‘Two Hour Tuesday’ to continue to pay for the rising tuyou know? I’m just as shocked as you. I or ‘What’s Sleep Wednesday,’ things like ition. He said that $423,000 annualhonestly thought it was a myth.” that. I don’t know, if I’m being honest, I Students walk with pride of house sized Despite this achievement, Smith also don’t think it’s healthy.” loan Photo courtesy of vanderbilt.edu.

FAKE NEWS

Friday, May 6, 2022

Variety

23

Breaking news: Germany blamed for WWII

By Josh Tatko Cub Managing Editor

FAKE NEWS The Russian invasion of Ukraine began nearly two months ago, and so far, most people possess the stalwart belief that this war is the fault of Russia -simply because the nation recognized the independence of breakaway republics, invaded a sovereign nation, and directed attacks at the civilian population. But recently, a brave, patriotic, ambiguously fascist reporter has brought to light the true villain of this conflict: the Federal Republic of Germany.

This reporter is Trucker Charleston of Vulpes “News.” On his show, Trucker Charleston This Morning, which is usually devoted to discussion about large automobiles and dance moves, he has expressed clear support for Russia during these trying times. At first, many people criticized Charleston for commending the oligarchist dictator of an Eastern European petrostate, but his logic is sound; he promises.

For one, there is a neo-Nazi group in the Ukrainian military with about 900 members. Granted, more than 10,000 civilians have died in Mariupol alone, let alone the rest of the country and the soldiers on both sides, but that’s just the cost of war.

Charleston’s next point is perhaps his greatest, though. He argues that Russia might be doing a bad thing, but it’s not that bad.

He says that the West is canceling Russia, and Vladimir Putin agrees.

If a world leader agrees with something, that’s all the evidence needed to know that it’s right.

If that isn’t convincing enough, the true greatest point is yet to come. To quote Charleston himself, “Ukraine, schmookraine. I’d never even heard of it before March. We should actually be worried about the metric system.”

And this all relates to Germany in a very sinister way. A recently uncovered document known as the Treaty of Versailles states that Major players in the scandal look suspicious. Image by Josh Tatko.

Germany was at fault for World War I. Also, Nazism originated in Germany, and Putin’s snow and cold temperatures. Checkmate, atheists.

With all of this evidence staring humanity in the incredibly sound reason for invading Ukraine is face, it is foolish to deny that this war and also evNazism. Perhaps these are just coincidences, but erything bad in the world is the fault of Germany, this next piece of evidence is irrefutable. Germaand we should be levying sanctions at Germany inny’s current chancellor is named Olaf Scholz, Olaf is stead of Russia. the name of a snowman in the Disney film Frozen.

There is snow in Frozen, and Russia is famous for its

How Easter evolved into a modern celebration

By Eli Lindauer News Assistant Easter has been practiced officially by the Catholic Church since 1583 and has dramatically evolved since then. Many influences came from pre-Christian traditions, including spring practices and holidays celebrating spring, fertility, and rebirth. Symbols like hares, rabbits, and eggs all have connections to these ideas.

The practice of Easter as a Christian holiday is based around the revival of Jesus Christ after his crucifixion. It ends the course of Lent, 40 days of fasting, in honor of Christ’s fasting in the desert.

The symbols of Easter eggs and rabbits come from German traditions that came to America when they immigrated and settled in Pennsylvania. The tradition was that small children would make nests for the “Osterhase” or “Oschter Haws” to nest in and lay their colorful eggs.

The tradition began to change as the first chocolate Easter egg was made in Europe in the 1900s, and the tradition took off. They were initially made with dark chocolate until Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate was produced in 1897.

The tradition for colorful eggs may have been used in some areas as a celebration after Lent, which at one time did not allow eggs, meats, or dairy products to be eaten during the 40 days. The eggs may have been decorated the day before and then eaten on Easter after the end of Lent.

Pet rabbit lounges in a meadow. Photo courtesy of iStock.com.

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Meet the Staff

THE BENGAL’S PURR Senior Editor-in-Chief........................ Rylie Reagan Senior Managing Editor.....Chayton Brewer-Burgin Senior News & Opinion Editor........Hannah Shoffitt Cub Editors-in-Chief....................Madeline Gibson Jasmine Schmidt Cub Managing Editors................. Declan Cattrysse Lauren Martin Josh Tatko Copyeditors...................................... Lauren Martin Rylie Reagan Jasmine Schmidt Hannah Shoffitt Josh Tatko Photo Manager.......................... Matthew Dugdale Entertainment Editor.................. Declan Cattrysse Cub Features Editor..................Seyi Arogundande Cub News Editor.................................... Josh Tatko Cub Opinion Editor...................Seyi Arogundande Cub Sports Editors............................ Danica Keane Kendra Kelley Entertainment Assistants...................Scout Alford Sydney Ball Sophia Gill Aydann Long News Assistants................................... Eli Lindauer Ava Mohr Opinion Assistant............................... Paxtyn Latta Sports Assistants................................ Jordis Aiken Kaitlyn Fowler Lynae Murillo Josie Sager Adviser..........................Charity Thompson Egland