BEING A PARTNER IS NOT THE ONLY MEASURE OF SUCCESS

BEING A PARTNER IS NOT THE ONLY MEASURE OF SUCCESS

In 2019, life changed for Ben Amoah, then a specialist commercial litigator with Farrer & Co LLP. Seemingly out of nowhere, Ben developed vertigo; a horrifying condition for which he was prescribed medication. But, instead of his health improving, things got even worse when Ben ended up in hospital with an internal bleed caused by the medication. These horrendous physical problems seemed to knock his life way off course. With two small children to support, the situation was not only critical medically but from a personal perspective too. Five years on, Ben expresses an element of nervousness about telling his story, and “revealing his authentic self”, to a profession that has the reputation of being conservative.

Today, Ben is still at Farrers but is no longer a fee earner. He works as a knowledge lawyer in the dispute resolution team; a transition which came about after a lot of heartbreak and soul searching.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Ben started his training contract at Farrers 11 years ago. He was the first Black trainee in the firm. When he qualified, Ben joined the disputes team as the first Black male fee earner and “everything was going swimmingly”. As a Black British man from immigrant Ghanaian parents, Ben was on track in fulfilling his family’s dreams and ambitions for him.

As time passed, however, Ben began to feel that hard work was possibly not enough. He had always been encouraged by his family to do well and it was a stress and an anxiety that he took on board and which drove him to achieve. But once he qualified and had his place at Farrers, he wasn’t really sure what to do to take it to the next stage.

Ben says,

“I was always brought up to do a bit more; to work harder than the next person and when that stops working, you need new tricks and tactics - and I didn’t have a clue what they were. Suddenly I was in crisis. I didn’t know how to move forward or what to do next.”

Disproportionately, it is generally Black lawyers who don’t have those “tricks and tactics”. It’s one of the reasons why so few make it to the top and so many actually drop out of the profession.

“Black lawyers need to have a lot of confidence,” Ben continues, “If you look at law firms and look at who is at the top, generally they all look the same - so you are at a disadvantage to start with. You spend so much time trying to bridge the gap, you forget what it is that makes you unique. You need to believe in yourself and to recognise that others believe in you too, that you do have allies – as I certainly did at Farrers. But it starts from within.”

It was at this point when Ben - who on the outside seemed to be doing incredibly well; he was popular, well liked and doing great work - experienced his first, awful bout of vertigo. In the classic lawyer way, Ben investigated, saw consultants, underwent tests and latched onto the diagnosis that he had an inner ear infection; a condition called labyrinthitis. In a strange sort of way, he was comforted by the fact that his illness was physical and could, therefore, be treated. He was given medication and it was this that caused terrible side effects including a gastric bleed. Ben ended up in intensive care.

Ben subsequently spent two and a half years recovering from the physical issues he was dealing with. With time to reflect, Ben began to realise that his physical problems had probably been the result of the stress, anxiety and depression he’d been living with but not able to acknowledge at the time.

“I was so focussed on sorting out the physical problems that it was only when nothing appeared to be working that it dawned on me that the root of my issues was probably psychological and mental rather than physical.”

“I was always brought up to do a bit more; to work harder than the next person and when that stops working, you need new tricks and tactics - and I didn’t have a clue what they were. Suddenly I was in crisis. I didn’t know how to move forward or what to do next.”

When Ben started therapy and to open up with his colleagues, things began to shift. It was at this point that Ben realised the path he had been on to become a Senior Associate and, ultimately, a Partner was not necessarily right for him. Married with a three and a five year old, Ben’s priorities were changing. The prospect of going back into the world he’d been in before his illness didn’t seem in any way attractive; something that was not easy to admit.

Fortuitously for Ben an opening had come up for a knowledge lawyer in Disputes team at Farrers. Ben was already working closely with the senior knowledge lawyer and being British born Chinese herself, she completely identified with the issues Ben was facing: of being different, of having a young family. She taught Ben that you can still be intellectually challenged, still be of value and “keep sharp” without the stress he had previously experienced. Taking on the role and moving away from a client facing position was a valuable transition for Ben in his physical and mental recovery. Ben says this is the happiest he has ever been at work, that he has a clear sense of direction and there is no ceiling.

Throughout his journey, the support and understanding from colleagues at Farrers has been instrumental. Having been with the firm for over a decade, Ben reflects on the importance of working within an environment where he felt not only supported, but truly

valued - a key reason why his tenure at the firm has been so long. It is this sense of belonging and backing from Farrers that Ben believes has played a crucial role in his recovery and ongoing success.

Laurie Horwood, a Partner at Farrers had this to say;

“Supporting our colleagues throughout their careers at the firm is really key to creating a workplace for all that we can be proud of. Ben’s openness and bravery in sharing his story will, I am sure, be inspiring and encouraging to many. Our HR and ED+I teams - as well as many across the firm who look to encourage and mentor others - play a huge role in helping to create an environment which is supportive, rewarding and where partnership is not the only career objective. We have worked on various routes to diversify traditional career paths within the firm. Ben’s powerful words and his experience are testament to his own strength of character and we look forward to him continuing to thrive at the firm”.

Ben has learned that doing things differently is an option. He tells the story of a fellow Black lawyer who was an ex professional footballer and is like a big brother to him. From his time as a footballer, his friend had experienced racism and abuse in very real and aggressive ways and this gave him a true perspective. He taught Ben that the world is a big place and if you can’t fulfil your dreams in one place or direction, you can move on, change paths and do it elsewhere.

“There is more than one way to be successful. And having a sense of wellbeing is probably the greatest success any of us can ever achieve.”

Ben’s experience has relevance across our profession. There are lessons to be learned, and opportunities for law firms to accept a duty of care for their Black trainees. That way, they will be supported on their journey and guided to reaching the top.

Ben found peace the hard way. His illness forced him to rethink and he looks back on it with gratitude as it was the catalyst that enabled him to change things for the better, “I am also learning to be at peace with not becoming a partner, the classic way of measuring success in a law firm. But there are other routes to success; it is not a linear process of where one has to aim. Sometimes I question whether I backed off because I was afraid of the challenge, afraid of not being good enough. But, actually, I have come to realise that it is not what I really want. It has taken a lot to be able to admit that to myself. I can give value in so many other ways. And telling my story like this is one of them.”

During his time in therapy, Ben realised that he wanted to help others too, people experiencing similar issues. He spends a lot of time just talking to people like himself who are struggling with their mental

health and not really appreciating why they are feeling the way they are. He is championing wellbeing in his team and putting together a programme of external speakers. He spoke about his own journey at an event at Farrers during Black History Month and during Health Awareness week. Ben has also done a podcast where he says he reveals “a reasonable amount, but still kept some back.”

Inspired by the stories of Black lawyers in our ‘Fifty Shades’ edition, Ben found the courage to open up even more with us in the hope that others will be inspired. He hopes that they too can work towards what truly makes them happy rather than sacrifice their wellbeing by following an expected path.

Ben concludes,

“There is more than one way to be successful. And having a sense of wellbeing is probably the greatest success any of us can ever achieve.”

Ben encourages anyone identifying with anything mentioned in this article to get in touch. His email is ben.amoah@farrer.co.uk.