How do we balance careers and personal life?

How do we balance careers and personal life?

Many lawyers feel under huge pressure to succeed in their chosen career as quickly as possible. One view is given by Kamila Kurkowska in her piece below ‘a decade…?’ where she talks about the pressures women can feel in terms of achieving goals not only in their career but also at a time when they might like to start a family.

Each person’s reaction will vary depending on their exact circumstances and which jurisdiction they are working in. It’s important to remember that it is possible to elongate the career process – it might be tricky but may well suit your particular circumstances. There is a huge variety in as to when people start their legal careers and how they progress them, so it’s important to find the right thing for you.

Some people enter the legal profession at a mature age and with lengthening careers this has not been an insurmountable barrier to seniority. As we all know, there’s also been an urgent need for older workers to re-enter the work force and this is also true in the legal profession. Sharon Beattie KC, joint head of Chambers at New Park Court in Leeds and Newcastle, says:

“There is no one size fits all, but measures such as offering flexibility, mentoring or probationary periods may reassure candidates and organisations that any decision will be the right one for them and for chambers.”

She also highlights when age should be an advantage; it can give you perspective and the maturity to deal with stress and difficult clients more easily.

“A good candidate at 40, or older, could be an asset to a set of chambers for, potentially, 20 years. As to being out of date, the most important thing is that the nature of the job does not really change; people don’t change, it is still about making judgements, offering advice, and reading people. If you had those skills, you still do.”

It often comes down to confidence, but there are many support systems available and agencies such as Reignite Academy. Home - Reignite Academy - Relaunching Legal Careers - London, UK Joining a local legal community can be the first step. Great Sprint to the Great Sandwich (legalwomen.org.uk)

Culturally, changing the mindset of when careers take off is important. This has been a recurrent theme for Legal Women and Helen Broadbridge wrote an excellent piece on Career trajectory theory. She reviews the theoretical path: “a worker completes their education and enters the workforce in their early-to-mid-twenties, and then works long hours, without a pause, for the rest of their career, while being identified for or breaking into management around the 10-year mark. However, she challenges this approach and suggests that instead of the ‘Great Sprint’, how about the ‘Great Sandwich’? Instead of expecting the thirties to be a makeor-break decade, why not see them as a decade for growth, after which all workers can look forward to thirty years of contributing their expertise all the way up to the highest levels of private and public institutions? With careers likely to span longer than ever, this could be a powerful model not ‘just for women’ but for all workers.”

You can read the whole article here: Great Sprint to the Great Sandwich (legalwomen.org.uk)

a decade...?

Below the thoughts of Kamila Kurkowska a mentor to female lawyers and President and Founder of Women in Law Foundation in Poland www.womeninlaw.pl › en

The clock

Some time ago, scrolling through Instagram, the algorithm prompted me to reel in a statement by Indra Nooyi former CEO of PepsiCo.

Indra begins her statement with the words:

The biological clock and the career clock are in total conflict. When you should have children, at the same time you should be building your career. When you are promoting, your children need you because they are entering their teenage years. (...) and when you make an even bigger career your parents start to need you because, after all, they are getting older. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpOsdGSUp2U

Very simple, and on the other hand very difficult. Difficult for women. And while I don't like the narrative that believes that every woman is or will be a mum and that only through the prism of motherhood are active women looked at, there is no fooling ourselves that the issue of work-life balance is a huge challenge for women, lawyers in particular.

We MAY only have a decade

One of my clients, the head of legal at a large technology company, moved into this position from an international law firm. We talked for a long time about professional topics, but then moved on to private ones. This head of legal said something to me that I heard in my head for days afterwards:

"You know, Kamila, because we women really only have a decade to fit everything in - children, relationship and career.”

And when I analysed my own path, but also that of the female lawyers I work with, it's exactly like that. Each of us has about 10 years, sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more, between the ages of 30 and 40 to have children (if that's what we want and that's what we're planning), get a professional position and still build a lasting, happy relationship. Of course, we should not forget to take care of our mental and physical well-being. Sometimes there are also the responsibilities of caring for ageing parents.

But how do you do all this when a day has only 24 hours, a week has seven days and a year has 365, and you still have to sleep sometime....

The head of legal said during our meeting:

"I can't believe there are women who have it all, do it all and in every area of their lives everything is working perfectly. You have a career, your children are happy, looked after and you spend a lot of time with them and your relationship is blossoming in love, friendship, passion and understanding. This is not the case!”

“It is not fair”

Men don't have to "mobilise" like that. They don't have to rush to have a child before the age of 40, they don't have to choose - work or family. For employers, they are even more attractive employees when they have children, and preferably still have credit. I'm sure you're familiar with the term 'fatherhood bonus' and 'motherhood penalty'. Men do not face the problem that the older they get, they become invisible, like women over 50. On the contrary, 'Silver on the temples' adds to their seriousness and authority. This is not fair!

And I don't want you to think that I'm blaming men at this point - no. I just don't like the way this world is set up, even though I know we can't change biology. I think men have their challenges and even demons too. I know this because a lot of female lawyers tell me about their relationships, and not every man can bear to see his life partner succeed professionally and financially.

The world has changed and I feel that we all need to reinvent ourselves and put ourselves back together. ■

Kamila Kurkowska

Mentor of female lawyers

President and Founder of Women in Law Foundation https://www.womeninlaw.pl/en/home-page/

Legal Women have recently formed a strategic partnership with the Women in Law Foundation in Poland. See page 28 and follow us on socials for further updates.