Very large numbers

VERY LARGE NUMBERS a play in one act

by Ben Sack

Ben Sack 978-729-0425 bensackwrites@gmail.com

VERY LARGE NUMBERS

VERY LARGE NUMBERS character list RICHARD: 60s, recently retired IT administrator. Chipper.

BRADLEY: 30s, Richard’s former co-worker, curmudgeon.

DALE: 30s, another IT employee, dim.

SETTING Richard’s basement. A door at stage right. A couch. A small bar. A large chair-shaped object at center stage covered by a sheet.

TIME The present.

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VERY LARGE NUMBERS SCENE 1 (RICHARD opens the door and invites a hesitant DALE and BRADLEY inside) RICHARD Ah! Gentlemen, right on time, please come in. Welcome to my parlor, would you like a brandy?

BRADLEY Richard...why are you talking like that?

RICHARD Well, this whole occasion reminded me of a nineteenth century sci-fi novel, you know how those usually start with a handsome young bachelor showing off his new invention to his friends in the parlor...

BRADLEY Yeah, except this isn’t a parlor, it’s your basement.

DALE And you’re not a bachelor, you’re divorced.

BRADLEY And we’re not really your friendsDALE -I’ll take that brandy!

RICHARD That’s the spirit! (he goes to the bar and pours some drinks) DALE So, Richard, what’s the occasion?

RICHARD I thought I’d show my two favorite co-workers how I’m spending retirement!

(RICHARD delivers the drinks. Dale takes a sip.)

DALE Wow, is that a 1979 Armagnac?

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RICHARD You’ve got good taste.

DALE I looked at the bottle.

RICHARD Good eyesight, then.

BRADLEY 1979? Sounds expensive. (he downs the whole drink and plops down on the couch.)

RICHARD It’s a special occasion.

DALE What’s the occasion?

RICHARD I’m so glad you asked! Take a seat.

(Richard waits for Dale to sit down and moves next to the covered chair.)

Imagine, if you will, that you’re Galileo Galilei, and you’re peering through a telescope of your own design, looking at the previously unseen moons of Jupiter...

BRADLEY Wow, you’ve got like, a whole presentation?

DALE Be quiet.

BRADLEY How long is this going to take? I’d rather be a loser in my own basement.

RICHARD Indulge me, I rehearsed this.

DALE Please, Richard, go on.

RICHARD Okay. you’re looking through your telescope and something clicks...you realize that contrary to what you’ve been taught,

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RICHARD (CONT’D) the heavens are not immutable and the Earth is not at the center of the universe. Now, Imagine you’re Edwin Hubble...

DALE The bubble gum guy?

BRADLEY Bubble gum?

DALE Hubble bubba bubble gum.

RICHARD No, Dale, the scientist.

DALE Got it.

RICHARD Imagine you’re Edwin Hubble, looking through the Hooker telescope, and you spot what looks like a nebula...but then you realize that’s no nebula, it’s a whole other galaxy, and, contrary to what the scientific establishment believes, the universe does not stop at the edge of the Milky Way, but is in fact composed of many more galaxies just like ours...

BRADLEY What’s under the sheet?

RICHARD Bear with me.

BRADLEY Can I have a peek?

RICHARD No. Stay with me here, I’m almost through. Now, those moments were something really special, moments when man had a fundamental shift in the way we perceive the universe.

Astronomy has obviously reached far beyond Galileo and Hubble, and our telescopes can peer out to the very edge of the universe.

(BRADLEY lifts the sheet with his toes.

DALE kicks his foot.)

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RICHARD But unfortunately, humanity has reached a road block. We estimate, for example, that there are upwards of three hundred sextillion stars in the observable universe, but thanks to our ancestors on the plains, who counted on their fingers and toes and decided they didn’t need more than that to survive, our ability to perceive these kinds of numbers is limited.

DALE What do you mean, exactly?

RICHARD I mean your brain is an impediment.

DALE Hey! RICHARD Not just yours, everybody’s. It’s like when you look at the Grand Canyon, and it’s too large for you to wrap your head around, so it looks just like a flat picture...

BRADLEY Can we get on with this please?

RICHARD It’s easy for a human to understand ten, twenty, a hundred, but when it comes to very large numbers, we’re at a total loss...

BRADLEY UNTIL NOW! (BRADLEY stands and rips away the sheet, revealing a metal chair with a helmet attached to a flexible arm, like a hair dryer. A PC tower is lashed to the side of the chair.)

RICHARD Come on!

DALE Bradley!

BRADLEY You took too long.

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DALE What is it? An electric chair?

BRADLEY You know, some guys retire and build a canoe.

RICHARD It’s a computer–brain interface. The human brain might not be able to visualize large numbers, but a modern computer is designed to do just that. What I’ve done is invented a way to use the computer as an auxiliary to the brain, to make it do the heavy lifting, and for the first time in history, to allow a human being to not just know, but understand the actual scale of the universe.

DALE Does it work?

RICHARD I don’t know.

BRADLEY You don’t know?

RICHARD I invited you here for the first human trial. Dale, I’ll need you to read to me from this list after I’m plugged in... (he produces a clipboard from under the chair) And Bradley, I need you to stand by and call 911 in case I have an aneurysm.

(RICHARD straps himself into the chair and lowers the helmet. DALE stands across from him with the clipboard.)

RICHARD Who’s ready to make history? Dale, flip the switch!

(DALE reaches out and turns on the machine.

RICHARD convulses but regains control.)

DALE How does it feel?

RICHARD Like 1969. Start reading.

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DALE There are 7 billion people on the planet earth.

(With each entry, Richard’s eyes grow wider and his jaw drops lower.)

DALE There are 400 billion stars in the milky way galaxy...The universe is 13.8 billion years old...there are at least 225 billion galaxies in the universe...there are 50 sextillion Earth-like planets in the universe...there are 300 sextillion stars in the universe.

(RICHARD slumps over. BRADLEY rushes to get him out of the machine.)

BRADLEY Richard? Richard!?

DALE Did he have an atheism?

BRADLEY Aneurysm!

DALE You’re supposed to call 911!

BRADLEY Dammit Richard! (he slaps RICHARD hard. RICHARD awakens slowly.)

Thank God. RICHARD Not so fast.

DALE I knew it!

RICHARD That was incredible...I saw...I saw a field of stars, extending out in all directions, and through time, it cycled, almost like, like a rotisserie...oh it’s no use trying to explain it to you, just try it!

DALE Okay!

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BRADLEY Dale, no.

(DALE straps himself into the chair.)

DALE Flip the switch!

RICHARD (RICHARD flips the switch) How do you feel?

DALE Smarter.

RICHARD Good! Are you ready?

DALE Hit me.

RICHARD There are 400 billion stars in the milky way galaxy...The universe is 13.8 billion years old...there are at least 225 billion galaxies in the universe...there are 50 sextillion Earth-like planets in the universe...there are 300 million million million million million stars in the universe.

(DALE rises from the chair and regains his balance. He goes into hysterics.)

DALE That was nuts! Bradley. I saw it all. The whole universe, right there before my eyes, it was amazing...It was...It was...

(RICHARD begins to sob. He collapses to the floor.)

BRADLEY Richard?

RICHARD This is it? This is all I am?

BRADLEY Here we go.

VERY LARGE NUMBERS RICHARD Just a spec. Just a drop of water in the ocean.

(DALE suddenly collapses next to RICHARD.) DALE Not even.

RICHARD Less than a drop of water. Just a molecule in a drop of water.

DALE There has to be more...

RICHARD More? There’s too much.

DALE It’s meaningless, isn’t it?

RICHARD I’m afraid that’s overstating it.

(DALE and RICHARD sob into each other’s arms.)

RICHARD Get the brandy.

DALE Why bother?

RICHARD Good point.

BRADLEY Come on guys. Get up off the floor. It’s no use wallowing.

RICHARD You don’t know the pain!

DALE You don’t know what we know, Bradley. You don’t know that there’s no meaning in living!

BRADLEY Oh really?

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DALE Really!

BRADLEY Fine!

(BRADLEY straps himself into the machine.)

RICHARD Bradley, no, it’s not too late for you...

BRADLEY I thought nothing mattered anyway?

RICHARD Touché.

(BRADLEY flips the switch and reads over the clipboard. He finishes, removes the helmet, and stands up.)

BRADLEY See? RICHARD Give it a second.

(BRADLEY looks at his watch and waits.)

BRADLEY I feel fine.

RICHARD I...I don’t understand.

BRADLEY There’s no point in living. Obviously. You don’t need a computer-human interface to tell you that.

DALE But...the stars...

BRADLEY Yeah, we’re just pawns in the vast plan of the universe, which moves forward in spite of us, totally out of our control, and

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BRADLEY (CONT’D) we’re cursed with the ability to recognize and be aware of that fact.

RICHARD When did you figure that out?

BRADLEY 1986, The Queen is Dead. Just get up off the floor. It’ll get better in a minute. Trust me.

(BRADLEY helps RICHARD and DALE off the floor.)

BRADLEY Now. How about another drink of expensive brandy?

RICHARD Sure.

DALE Okay.

(BRADLEY prepares more drinks and DALE sits in silence. RICHARD looks over his invention.)

RICHARD Perhaps humanity was never meant to count that high.

BRADLEY Perhaps you’re right.

(He delivers Richard’s drink.)

One. (He delivers Dale’s drink.)

Two. (He lifts his own glass.)

Three. Cheers (CLINK.) BLACKOUT.