Taking baby home

Some parents decide to take their baby home before the funeral. There is no reason why you should not do this unless the Coroner has requested a post-mortem. If this is your wish please discuss with the midwife caring for you or the maternity bereavement team and we will support you and your family in creating these memories.

Following the birth of your baby, you will continue to bleed like a normal period up to 6 weeks post natal. If this becomes heavier than normal for you or offensive then please inform your midwife or GP.

You will be offered medication to assist with the drying up of your breast milk. Bereaved mums through the SANDS support group have given their opinions regarding the medication. They were, the medication was helpful and this natural process was less distressing when you are already grieving for your baby.

Leaving Hospital

The midwifery staff will inform your Community Midwife (CMW), General Practitioner (GP) and Health Visitor (HV) about the loss of your baby and cancel antenatal appointments and scans that are already booked.

Following discharge from hospital a community midwife will contact you the next day to provide ongoing care and to organise any subsequent visits or telephone calls. This is individualised to your needs and initially you may feel this is not necessary but there is the option to change your mind and you can access ongoing support at any time. In addition to this a member of the maternity bereavement team will contact you to provide ongoing bereavement support and guidance through the grieving process.

If your baby has sadly died after being born, this is a neonatal death and your baby requires registration with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages. There are other agencies who will contact you to provide support. Your perspectives of the care you and your baby have received is very important to us. You can opt out of this if you wish but it is an opportunity for you to share any concerns or areas of good care, which you received, to enable us to improve our service and give feedback to staff where applicable.

Everyone deals with bereavement differently and there are no time limits on these emotions. It is unlikely both parents will be in the same emotional place at the same time. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Everyone is an individual and will deal with grief in their own way. People feel what they feel and it may help to talk to other people, friends, family or professionals.

Hastings and East Sussex Sands Support Group provide support for bereaved parents. The group is run by parents who have lost babies themselves and therefore are aware of the range of emotions and feelings you are possibly going through.

They meet the last Thursday of every month at the venues below 7.30pm – 9.30pm.

Venue: HMBYC

Rock a Nore Road

Hastings East Sussex TN34 3DW

Email: hastingseastsussexsands@gmail.com

Telephone Number: 07493 716124

Eastbourne

Unit 4, Beverly Business Park, 6 Finmere Road

Eastbourne BN22 8QG

Your GP can also help you and there is a list of organisations and their contact details at the back of the booklet.

Child Bereavement UK

Tel: 0800 02 888 40

Email: support@childbereavementuk.org

Website: www.childbereavementuk.org

Child Bereavement UK is a national organisation that supports families when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.

The Child Death Helpline

Tel: 0800 282986

Website: www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk

Freephone confidential helpline open every day of the year for anyone affected by the death of a child.

The Compassionate Friends (TCF)

National Helpline: 0345 123 2304

Available for support and information daily from 10.00am - 4.00pm and 7:00pm - 10.00pm. The line is always answered by a bereaved parent

Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk

Website: www.tcf.org.uk

TCF is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of those who have suffered the death of a child/children.

Cruse Bereavement Care

Hastings and Rother area

Tel: 01323 642942

Email: cruse@cruseeastsussex.org.uk

Website: www.cruse.org.uk

Offers one-to-one counselling, information, publications, and support for children who have been bereaved. See also info below under National Organisations for Cruse Hopeagain.

Cruse Bereavement Care – Hopeagain

National Helpline 0808 808 1677

Email: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk

Website: www.hopeagain.org.uk

Hopeagain is a website developed by Cruse Bereavement Care’s Youth Involvement Project which aims to support young people after the death of someone close to them.

Dragonflies Children and Young People Bereavement Project

St Nicholas Centre, 66 London Road, St Leonards on Sea, East Sussex, TN37 6AS

Tel: 01424 423683

Grief Encounter Project

Tel: 0208 371 8455

Helpline number freephone 08088020111

Monday –Friday 9am-9pm.

Website: www.griefencounter.org.uk

Offers support and information to bereaved children and families. A registered charity providing support and information for anyone affected by pregnancy loss.

Miscarriage Association

17 Wentworth Terrace, Wakefield, WF1 3QW

Telephone Helpline 01924 200799

Monday to Friday 9.00am – 4.00pm

Email: info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Website: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Muslim Youth Helpline (MYH)

Freephone from all UK landlines0808 808 2008

Email: help@myh.org.uk

Website: www.myh.org.uk

Helpline and Web Chat Hours.

Monday – Sunday 4pm – 10pm

Partnership for Children

Good mental health for children, helping your child cope with bereavement

0208 974 6004

Website: www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk

Website promoting good mental health for children – for life.

Programmes and resources to help young children around the world to communicate effectively, to cope with their anxieties and difficulties, and to develop skills for life.

SANDS

(Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity)

National Helpline: 0808 164 3332

Email: helpline@uk-sands.org

Telephone enquiries:

020 7436 7940 / 020 3897 6094 or Email: support@uk-sands.org

Website: www.uk-sands.org or www.why17.org

SANDS is an organisation that can offer you practical help or emotional support when your baby has died before, during or shortly after birth. The helpline team are there to listen and give support. They can advise you about finding local help, whether from a SANDS group or other counselling services, and have information about other relevant support organisations.

Winston’s Wish

National Helpline: 08088 020 021

Email: info@winstonswish.org.uk

Website: www.winstonswish.org.uk

Charity offering practical support and guidance to bereaved children, their families and professionals.

The organisations listed in this booklet may be of some help to you in your loss. We apologise for any address or telephone number changes which may occur after printing and any changes to services thereafter.

Local contact numbers

palsh@nhs.net / palse@nhs.net

Hastings & St Leonards Registrar of Births and Deaths

Monday – Friday 9.00am to 5.00pm

Tel: 0345 60 80 198

Eastbourne Registrar of Births and Deaths

Monday – Friday 9.00am to 5.00pm

Tel: 0345 60 80 198

Please telephone Registry for an appointment register your baby.

Reference: Conquest Hospital Maternity Bereavement Booklet

Publication Date: June 2023

Review Date: June 2025