The whole Team of John Eastwood Hospice would like to express their sympathy to you and those important to you in your bereavement.
The death of someone close can be one of the most distressing experiences anyone has to face. Decisions and arrangements have to be made at a time when you may be experiencing confusing thoughts, feelings and emotions.
We hope that the practical and emotional advice and information in this booklet will help you at this difficult time.
• What should I expect immediately after someone passes away?
• How should I react and how will I cope?
• John Eastwood Hospice Bereavement Support
• National support organisations for bereavement
• Remembrance – in memoriam donations and remembrance services
What do I need to do?
Practicalities and arrangements
• Registering a death
• What happens if the Coroner is involved?
• Planning the funeral
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What should I expect?
Feelings, emotions and coping with grief
What should I expect immediately after someone passes away?
When someone dies at John Eastwood Hospice
Our Team will be there to support you and answer any questions you may have. There is no normal or expected way to respond and we are here to help.
You may want to spend some time with your loved one, while others may decide not to. We can support you with your wishes.
Once you are ready for us to do so, we will take time and care to wash your loved one and we can use their favourite toiletries or perfume / aftershave if you wish. There may be specific clothes, pyjamas, or a favourite dressing gown you may want them to be dressed in. There is opportunity to assist the nursing staff to do this if you would like to.
They will be moved to a separate viewing room, so you can spend time with them there if you wish. The environment is cool, calming and private.
Unfortunately, we do not have any facilities to keep your loved one for a long period of time. When you have had time and are ready to leave, we will make contact with your chosen funeral directors for you and arrange for your loved one to be transferred into their care. We will provide them with your contact number to make further arrangements should you wish to arrange to visit them again once they are in their care and also to commence funeral plans.
Please turn to page 20 for more advice and information on funeral preparations.
You will be able to take away with you your loved one’s belongings or you may like to return to do this another day. Property will be documented, and we ask for a signature from the person receiving this.
It is the responsibility of the carer or family to return all medication to the local pharmacy for disposal. This should be done at your earliest convenience.
When someone dies in the community
When someone dies at home, their local GP (general practitioner) surgery should be contacted. If a death occurs in the night, weekend, or bank holiday then the Out Of Hours GP service – accessed via your GP’s main telephone number – should be contacted. When death occurs in the early hours of the morning, you may feel happier waiting to make contact until your GP surgery opens.
Once you have made contact, a doctor or nurse will attend the home of your loved one to verify that they have died.
Once death has been verified, you will need to contact a funeral director of your choice to begin funeral arrangements. This may require them to collect your loved one and take them into their care, where you can make arrangements to visit if you so wish.
How should I react and how will I cope?
Each person’s experience of bereavement is unique to them. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Likewise, there is no timescale to grief. However, in common with many bereaved people, you may experience some of the feelings described below:
Disbelief
Some people find they can hardly believe that their loved one has died. This is a common reaction to have, whether death has come suddenly, or gradually.
Associated with this, there is often a sense of shock and numbness.
Confusion
Some people feel confused and bewildered. All sense of purpose seems gone. You may find that you become forgetful and that you lose your sense of time. Even concentrating on things like reading can become difficult. This is normal and will right itself in time.
Anxiety
Restlessness is common. It can be hard to relax. You may feel anxious and it can be difficult to eat and sleep. Many people share these feelings. Often people experience a lack of confidence, finding it hard to deal with situations that were manageable before.
Anger
Some people feel angry with themselves or others – even with the person who has died. All your emotions are in turmoil after a bereavement, so this is not unusual. Gradually a sense of balance will return.
Guilt
Sometimes people who are angry with the person who has died, go on to feel guilty. There are a number of reasons why people experience guilt. It does not happen to everyone but talking things through may help.
Longing
With the overwhelming sense of loss can come sadness and yearning for emotional and physical contact with the person who has died. Sometimes people believe that they can even see the person. Many people talk to their loved one. Some people may feel like they’re going mad, but this can be a way of trying to make sense of what has happened.
Loneliness
This can be one of the hardest aspects of bereavement. Sometimes it can be made worse by other people avoiding any mention of the person who has died. Some people find it helpful to talk to other people who have been bereaved.
How might this affect me physically?
You may feel:
• Tired and exhausted with no energy to perform simple tasks
• Unable to sleep properly
• ‘Aches and pains’ such as headaches, back pain and muscular aches
• Changes in your appetite such as loss of appetite and interest in food or over-eating/eating for comfort
• Nauseous, unsettled tummy and possibly changes in your bowel habit
• Low resistance, may pick up bugs like colds more easily
How might this affect my behaviour?
You may be:
• Irritable, angry
• Restless and unable to settle and relax
• Wanting to keep busy
• Tearful or unable to cry
• Preferring your own company, rejecting others such as family, friends and social situations
• Not wanting to go out/finding it difficult to stay in.
Understanding that these feelings, thoughts and behaviours can be normal grief reactions may help you to feel less isolated and reassure you at this time. No-one can know how long you will feel this way –just as your relationship with the person before they died was unique, your feelings of grief and their intensity and duration, are also unique. Your grief will change and evolve as in time you adjust to living your life whilst maintaining the sense of a bond with the person who died.
What helps?
Many people find that they get through this time with the support of their family, friends or faith. We offer continuing support to people who have been bereaved. Please see information in this booklet about the support we offer.
What can others do to help me?
Bereavement affects families in many different ways. Each family member will cope differently following a death. There may be a recurring need to talk about the person who has died – their illness and death, the good and bad times. Families and friends can help to listen to and share these memories, although some might find this difficult or uncomfortable at times. This is where external support can be very helpful.
What can I do to help myself?
It is important not to forget your own health now. If you feel able, try to eat regular meals, even if you cannot manage very much at first. Try to keep a routine for bed and rest even if you can’t sleep as well as normal.
If you have been a carer before the death, it may be difficult to re-establish a normal sleep pattern. Try to take regular exercise and to get into a daily routine including all of these things. If you are worried about how you are coping, you may want to consider speaking to your GP or accessing the bereavement support at the Hospice. At this highly emotional time it is advisable not to make any major decisions unless you have to.
How can I support a child / young person through grief?
Supporting bereaved children
It is natural to want to protect children from things which hurt them, but when someone dies, we cannot hide the fact, or hide the way that we feel, so we need to be honest with children. Hiding the truth when they know that something is wrong can feel very frightening for them.
We have a range of children’s books and resources in the hospice to help with discussions with children. These are all free – just ask a member of the team.
What can you do to help?
Make children feel secure and safe by telling them how they are going to be cared for, especially if the person who has died was their parent or someone else who looked after them.
Let children know that they could not have caused the death by anything they said or did. Children can feel guilty and need reassurance.
Be very clear about what has happened – use plain language and avoid confusing phrases like ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘lost’.
Involve children in what is going on, including the funeral. This helps to make them feel important.
Allow them to be children – encourage them to play and to spend time with friends.
Listen to what they have to say – show them that you take their worries seriously.
Help them to find a way to remember the person who has died – with photographs or special objects.
Encourage children and young people to ask questions when they need to; a child will then ask for more information when they are ready. If they cannot ‘say’ it they might prefer to write it down or draw a picture.
Ensure that the school/nursery are aware of events and maintain communication so that any concerns can be discussed promptly. The school may provide bereavement support/counselling and should have a policy around this.
Try to maintain routines for your child; this is important when it may seem to the child that other parts of their life are changing. Ensure that you are punctual and reliable as your child may worry if you are late that something has happened to you. It is natural for children to become a bit ‘clingy’ or a bit ‘babyish’ and need more cuddles and reassurance.
It is helpful for adults to share their feelings with children, such as feelings of sadness. By doing so they learn that it is natural to feel sad and to show it when someone dies.
Children’s understanding of illness and death will vary according to their age and development. However, they will all need to come to some understanding about what has happened. With support and information, children and young people can be helped to understand what has happened and can slowly learn to live with their loss.
Some things to look out for with young people:
• Young people often do not want to talk to parents, but prefer to talk to friends
• They can be reluctant to grieve openly and may need to find their own private space
• They are more likely to demonstrate their grief in a similar way to the adults around them
• Boys and girls may show their grief in different ways
• Boys may be more inclined to channel their feelings into aggressive behaviour
• Girls may be more likely to talk and cry with their friends
• Boys and girls may both exhibit worrying or risk-taking behaviour. It is important to continue to provide firm but flexible boundaries
If you are concerned contact your GP, our Bereavement Service, or other professional agencies for help and advice.
John Eastwood Hospice Bereavement Support
You may find that you need additional support or a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings as you grieve. We are here to offer our support following the loss of your loved one. There is no right or wrong time for this. You can contact us as soon as you want to, or after a while if that feels right for you.
Chaplaincy Support / Funeral service planning support
Our Chaplaincy team are here for you following the loss of your loved one. You may well have got to know our Chaplains during your visits to the Hospice. They are friendly and supportive and are here to listen and provide emotional support. You don’t have to be religious or subscribe to any set of beliefs or faith to access this support, our Chaplains have no agenda, they are here to listen to what matters to you and support you with that. Often family members call in to the Hospice following their loss to have a cup of tea and a chat with our Chaplain. We are here for you.
Our Chaplaincy Team can also offer support with the planning of funeral services – whether you wish the service to have faith-based content or not, and some families who have made a strong connection to our Chaplain request for them to take the funeral service. This is always a huge honour and is a service provided free of charge to our families (no ‘Minister’s fee).
If you would like to speak to our Chaplaincy Team regarding any aspect of emotional support or funeral service planning, please let our Team know.
Bereavement Group
Our Bereavement Group is a time to connect with others who are on a journey of bereavement. Many who attend our group find it helpful to be around others outside of their immediate family, friends and support network to spend focussed time sharing their experiences with others who are also struggling with the complicated emotions and challenges surrounding loss and grief. Please ask a member of the team for more information.
The group offers a chance to explore thoughts and feelings, or just to listen and reflect on what is shared. There is no pressure to participate in conversation and our Chaplaincy Team are there for those who may need a little extra support. Conversation is often very varied and there is often laughter as well as tears in this lovely group. If you are interested in attending the Bereavement Group, please register your interest by calling the Hospice on 01623 622626 (8.30am - 4.30pm).
Coping with Grief course
The Coping with Grief course is an 8-week programme, running 3 times per year. The group provides the opportunity to come together with other people who are bereaved and discuss ideas and strategies which can help after the loss of a loved one. The group is a closed group (the same people start together and attend all of the sessions together) and is facilitated by the chaplaincy and clinical psychology teams.
Each session has a theme related to different aspects of the grief experience and includes the following:
What is grief? – we think about the different experiences of grief and how this may or may not fit with your own and other people’s expectations.
Coping with emotions – we discuss tried and tested strategies to help cope with overwhelming feelings.
Relationships – we explore how grief can impact on relationships and discuss strategies to help navigate any difficulties.
What matters to me? – we look at the values which we hold and how we can use these as a guiding compass for our actions.
Remembering – we look at how our grief impacts our lives from a spiritual aspect – our sense of values and purpose and meaning in life, and look at some ways in which remembering and memorialising our loved one can help us maintain a sense of connection.
If you would like more information about the course and to find out when the next date is and to register a place, please give the Hospice a call on 01623 622626 and ask to speak to the medical secretaries.
One-to-one counselling and therapy
In addition to the group-based support on the previous page, we also offer up to 6 sessions of one-to-one bereavement support through our team of clinical psychologists and counsellors. When someone experiences grief, they may feel a range of different emotions and physical symptoms – many of these feelings are normal and may come and go. However, sometimes we can feel stuck or overwhelmed by these feelings. Meeting individually with a counsellor or psychologist can help you to make sense of your feelings, especially if you are struggling to cope.
One-to-one support is available to any adult family member or carer of patient’s known to John Eastwood Hospice or the specialist palliative care service. If you would like to know more about this type of support, please give the Hospice a call on 01623 622626 and ask for a call with one of our psychologists.
National support organisations for bereavement
Cruse Bereavement Care
Offers bereavement support
www.cruse.org.uk
Telephone: 0808 808 1677
Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk
Good Grief Trust
Run by the bereaved, for the bereaved. Aims to provide resources and contact details for services nationwide as well as bereavement helplines.
Offers support to widows and widowers up to the age of 50. They provide social and support networks to help rebuild lives. Advantage House, Stowe Court, Stowe Street Lichfield WS13 6AQ www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
CHILDREN’S SUPPORT
National organisations in relation to children
Child Bereavement Network
A service for those supporting bereaved children.
People’s bereavement support services in your area. Telephone: 020 7843 6309 www. childhoodbereavementnetwork. org.uk
Child Bereavement UK
Provide information leaflets and resources that are helpful to families and professionals.
Winston’s Wish helps bereaved children and young people rebuild their lives after a family death. They also offer support and guidance to families, professionals and to anyone concerned about a grieving child.
General Enquiries:
Telephone: 01242 515157
Helpline: 08088 020 021 www.winstonswish.org
Remembrance
Create a lasting legacy
If a loved one of yours was cared for by the John Eastwood Hospice, you may want to honour their memory by making a gift. Some families request that those attending the funeral make a donation in lieu of flowers. Your funeral director will usually advise the best way for donations to be made and will often collate and be responsible for this. Many people like to fundraise in many varied ways for the Hospice as another way to celebrate the life of their loved one.
Tree of Light remembrance service
Every year the John Eastwood Hospice Charity organises a Tree of Light service in December. The service is held at the Hospice and is a poignant and moving time for remembrance and reflection at the start of what can be a very difficult time of year for many. It is an opportunity to come together for the purpose of sharing the sense of loss, whilst celebrating those we have loved. The music, poetry and thoughts make it a very special event, as do the hundreds of little lights that shine out from the tree at the Hospice. You will have an opportunity to sponsor a light on our tree in memory of your loved one and also to write a message to be added to our Tree of Remembrance. Please follow our facebook page for updates or call the Hospice for more information.
We may also offer additional times of remembrance during the year where names are read out and for those who come there is an opportunity to light a candle in remembrance of your loved one.
If you would like the opportunity to take part in any of our remembrance events, or would like further information about making an in memoriam donation to the John Eastwood Hospice Charity, please telephone the Charity on 01623 622626 (8.30am – 4.30pm) or visit our website www.johneastwoodhospice.org.uk for details. In addition, you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also complete the form within this booklet if you would like to hear about our other events.
‘On Those Days’
Donna Ashworth
On those days
when you miss someone the most
as though your memories are sharp enough to slice through skin and bone
remember how they loved you
Remember how they loved you and do that for yourself
In their name in their honour. Love yourself as they loved you. They would like that.
On those days
When you miss someone the most love yourself harder
What do I need to do?
Practicalities and arrangements
Registering a death
It is a legal requirement that the death must be registered within five working days or after the Coroner’s instruction. This should be carried out by either:
• A relative
• Someone present at the time of death
• Someone who will be arranging the funeral (Should the person who has died be an overseas citizen, their embassy must be notified as soon as possible.)
In most instances, Doctors at John Eastwood Hospice will complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) and send this directly to the registration office, unless the Coroner is involved, in which instance, the MCCD would be issued by them.
What you may find helpful to have for your telephone appointment
• The medical card (if available)
• The birth certificate (if available) – (if not available, information regarding date and place of birth)
• ID for the person registering the death (for example passport or driving licence)
What else will the registrar ask you?
Please note that the death cannot be registered without either the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death or documents from the coroner. Although it can be helpful to take copies of your loved one’s birth and marriage certificates, these are not essential for the death registration, as long as the information they contain can be provided at the meeting.
The registrar may ask for the following:
• The date and place of death
• Their full name and any other names used, including a maiden name where relevant
• The date and place of birth
If your loved one was a married woman, what the registrar will need to know:
• The full name and occupation of her husband (even if deceased)
• Her maiden name
The Registrar will provide you with several certificates.
1. CERTIFICATE FOR BURIAL OR CREMATION.
No fee is required (this is green in colour and is required for the funeral).
2. THE SOCIAL SECURITY CERTIFICATE.
No fee required (this is white in colour and should be handed into the Social Security Office along with your loved one’s pension information. After the death of a person payments should cease).
3. ENTRY OF DEATH CERTIFICATE.
A fee is charged (This is used to inform Banks, Building Societies, Insurance Companies, Solicitors, the Community Charge Office, Post Office, Company Superannuation etc).
It is advisable to purchase additional copies of the death certificate as they will be needed by your loved one’s bank, building society, insurers etc. We normally recommend around six certificates, depending on the number of institutions to be informed as photocopies cannot be used. Each certificate is a certified copy of the entry in the death register and costs £12.50 at the time of registration (price correct August 2024).
The registrar will be able to notify other government agencies at your appointment through the TELL US ONCE SERVICE.
Contact details for your local register office
Since the pandemic, all registration appointments are being held only by telephone. To make an appointment please call the number as follows:
Telephone: 0300 500 8080
Open Monday – Friday 9.00am – 4.30pm
Mansfield Register Office
The Register Office County House
100 Chesterfield Road South
Mansfield
Notts
Sutton-in-Ashfield Register Office
The Register Office
Sutton-in-Ashfield Library
Idlewells Precinct
Sutton-in-Ashfield
Notts
What happens if the Coroner is involved?
In some circumstances the death may by law have to be referred to the coroner. This includes when the cause of death is not clear, or where there is concern about the potential of a work-related disease being involved.
In these circumstances a doctor cannot issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) without consulting the coroner. It is the coroner’s duty to ensure that there is a clear understanding around the cause of death. The staff will talk through why the referral has been made and will explain the process to you.
Although a referral may have been made, after reviewing the situation the coroner may give permission for the doctor to issue the medical certificate.
If the cause of death is unknown, the coroner may also order a post mortem (examination of the dead body). Your consent is not required for this procedure although you will be informed of the decision.
If the coroner feels that further investigation is necessary, an inquest may be ordered. A coroner’s inquest is held at the Coroner’s Court and examines all the circumstances around the patient’s care and death, also providing an opportunity for relatives to ask questions. Staff of the coroner will support you through this process.
Planning the funeral
Funeral planning and legal requirements
You can begin to make funeral arrangements as soon as you feel able. The plans can be confirmed almost immediately, unless a coroner’s inquest is required following a death.
Before making plans, it is important to check whether any specific instructions were left, or if any funeral arrangements were made and paid for in advance.
The main requirements in England and Wales are that the death must be certified by a doctor or coroner, registered with a registrar of births, marriages and deaths, and the body either buried or cremated.
You do not need to have a funeral service, instruct a Minister or Celebrant to take a service, or use the services of a funeral director unless you wish to. There is a ‘physical’ and a ‘service’ element to a funeral to be considered. Whilst the physical element is essential, a funeral service is optional. Some people choose to have a simple cremation without any family or friends in attendance for a service.
Types of funeral service
There are more options concerning the content and duration of a funeral service than many people realise.
Many services have a faith based element, but services without this, focussing mainly on a celebration of life are available also. Our Chaplain can support with both of these options if you would like them to support you with the planning and taking of a service for your loved one. There is no fee for this service.
There are two main types of Funeral service:
• At a crematorium only.
• At a church or other place of worship, and followed by a burial or cremation.
A service can be made up of many things including:
- Meaningful pieces of music, either to be listened to as a time of reflection or to be sung together, such as a Hymn. Most crematoriums offer a huge selection of songs.
- A ‘eulogy’ – an account of your loved one’s life, including or omitting anything you feel appropriate.
- Tributes – special words shared about your loved one, including any words you want to say about them or to them. Anyone can bring a tribute. Usually the Chief mourner (the main person responsible for organising the funeral) would decide what they feel is best.
- Poems or pieces of literature that reflect your feelings of loss or something special about your loved one
- Anything else agreed with the minister or celebrant taking the service. Services have included many varied things including picture collages on screen set to music, spoken word performances, choirs, music performances, flash mobs, dances, trooping of flags. Your Minister / Celebrant should work with you to help you to create a unique and meaningful service. Equally, if you want to plan a very simple and short service, or no service at all, there really is no right or wrong. Every situation is unique.
Increasingly, alternative funerals are becoming available, with people selecting options such as woodland burials and eco-friendly coffins, shrouds or other coffin covers.
Funeral directors
Funeral directors can manage all or part of the practical funeral arrangements. They can give advice on available options and provide support to help you make decisions. There are many differences in the types and quality of services that funeral directors provide.
It is advisable to compare information about services and costs from at least two firms. You should not feel that you have to accept all options presented to you, particularly if you have a limited budget. If you are not satisfied, either with the costs you’re being asked to pay or with the service provided, try to resolve it with the funeral director or service provider in question. If you cannot resolve the issue, contact any relevant trade association (see the back of this leaflet) or get advice on how to proceed from your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
Other things to consider
As with all major events there are many aspects you may wish to consider, such as whether the body will be available for viewing, how your loved one should be dressed, whether to make announcements in a newspaper, and so on. In reality there is no such thing as a ‘standard’ funeral.
Some useful contacts:
‘A Consumer’s Guide to Funerals’ Helpful website offering guidance. www.gov.uk/after-a-death
Age UK
Age UK’s website offer fact sheets entitled ‘Planning for a funeral’, Instructions for my next-of-kin and executors upon my death’; a form on which people can record their wishes about funeral arrangements (e.g. type of service, use of specific funeral director, etc) Telephone: 0800 169 2081 www.ageuk.org.uk
Paying for the funeral
Funeral costs are normally recoverable from your loved one’s estate, but the person organising the funeral will be responsible for paying the bill. It is advisable to check where the money will come from before you make arrangements. Many people now purchase their funeral in advance through a pre-purchase funeral plan. You may need to check if this has been arranged.
Many funeral directors require payment before probate is granted, so ensure you discuss payment from an early stage. Where probate is being requested, most banks and building societies will release money to pay for the funeral on presentation of the death certificate and funeral invoice before probate is granted.
Where payment for the funeral is an issue, you may be entitled to help with the funeral costs through the Social Fund. There is now a OneStop contact number at the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) (phone 0800 731 0469) which will cancel all DWP benefits, as well as help you establish if you are eligible for help towards costs (a funeral grant) and advise on your eligibility for other benefits.
There is a time limit for claiming bereavement benefits and a funeral grant so it is important to contact them as soon as possible. Funeral grants have a maximum threshold and not everyone is given the full amount. It is essential to consider this when organising the funeral to prevent running up large costs.
In some cases where no one is able to pay for the funeral, the local authority may help – but it is important that you contact them before the funeral has been arranged. Your funeral director should be able to advise you.
Change in circumstances and benefits
If you were receiving Carers Benefit prior to the bereavement this will continue for six weeks after the death of the person you were caring for. Check that Council Tax Benefit and Housing Benefit are in your name: if not these may need to be reapplied for. www.gov.uk has excellent advice on all benefits, or you can use the contacts suggested below.
If you are under pension age
If you are a parent and any of the following benefits are in your loved one’s name these will have to be changed or reapplied for:
Child Benefit (HMRC 0300 200 3100),
Child Tax Credit or Working Tax Credit (Job Centre Plus 0345 300 3900)
Contact Job Centre Plus, the DWP numbers above or your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice and support in finding out what is available and how to apply. Alternatively, check out the www.turn2us.org.uk website for information. If you are eligible for certain benefits you may be able to get support with your mortgage. This will be for the interest only and there is a limit to what they will pay. Job Centre Plus can advise you on this.
For example, if your spouse/partner or you were on a state benefit prior to the bereavement, you may need this reviewed, or if you are now on a low income. If you have children and are working, available benefits will depend on your income and the age of the children. If you are unable to work or unemployed you may be eligible for benefits or increased benefits.
If you are over pension age
If your spouse or civil partner dies then you may need a benefits review, particularly if you are now living alone. There is a minimum allowance for single people, which may be increased depending on which benefits you are eligible for. A review is recommended at this stage as not all benefits are means tested. Contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau or Village Benefits
0115 844 0011 for advice or look up the fact sheets on www.ageuk.org.uk
Also see the ‘Tasks checklist’ within this booklet to help you contact the right people.
Solicitors, Wills and legal matters
Probate (administration of an estate)
This is the legal process for the distribution of your loved one’s estate (money, property etc). You need to establish if your loved one had made a Will. This may be found at their bank, solicitor, home, with family or a friend. Advice about probate can be found on the website www.bereavementadvice.co.uk or by phoning the free helpline 0808 168 9607.
When a Will is in place:
The Will may include funeral wishes, wishes regarding your loved one’s estate and the name of the executor/s or the person/s legally entitled to deal with the estate. The executor/s is/are legally responsible for administrating the estate according to the wishes in the Will. If the Will is with a solicitor they should be informed: and they may be the named executor. Named executors can administer the person’s estate on their own (information on how to do this can be found online at www.gov.uk) or they may prefer to get the help of a solicitor to carry this out.
When there is no Will in place:
When someone dies without making a Will, they are said to have died ‘intestate’, and different rules apply. When this happens the law sets out who should deal with the person’s affairs and who benefits. This can be a complex situation and there is a list of people who may be entitled to the estate in turn. Further information can be found online at www.gov.uk or you can involve a solicitor to help you through the process. Another source of information on Wills can be found at www.ageuk.org.uk
Task checklist
If in the person’s name:
Cancel Appointments
Telephone/Water/Electricity
Car Insurance
Newsagent/Milkman
Clubs
Landlord/Housing
Television Licence
Rental companies
Loan company
Agencies Informed
Automatically when a Death is
Registered
Passport Office
DVLA Swansea
Local Authority for housing and council tax benefits, blue badge
DWP
Job Centre Plus
HMRC – Child benefit
Library
Electoral Services
People you need to consider informing:
Child/Young Person’s Teacher
Bank/Building Society
Credit Cards
Insurance Companies
Social Services (cancel care)
Social Security/DWP (confirm they are aware)
Employer
Solicitor (if involved)
Inland Revenue (If self employed)
Residential/Nursing Home
Post Office
NHS Equipment returns
Mortgage Lender
Relatives/Friends
Dentist
Stop Mail (www.stopmail.co.uk)
Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of your loved one are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
‘Gone
From My Sight’
Henry Van Dyke
“I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me – not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”
And that is dying...”
Keeping in touch
Many people like to keep a connection with the hospice by electing to receive the Charity’s newsletter. We value our ability to communicate with you to share our news and would be more than pleased to send you updates via the newsletter, if you would like to be kept informed of our work please complete the form below: -
I would like to receive the John Eastwood Hospice Charity newsletter, and be kept informed of forthcoming events, and am happy to be contacted by the Charity by email, post or telephone.
Name:
Address:
Postcode:
Email:
Telephone:
The Charity will not share your details with any third parties, and are committed to complying with the Data Protection Act 1998.
You can also visit the Charity’s website www.johneastwoodhospice.org.uk for further information about the Charity.
Please complete and return to John Eastwood Hospice, Mansfield Road, Sutton-in-Ashfield, Notts, NG17 4HJ. Telephone 01623 622626
Reference: John Eastwood Hospice Trust
Review date: September 2026
Publication date: September 2024
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
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stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
