A GUIDE TO HELP YOU DURING YOUR BEREAVEMENT
A GUIDE TO HELP YOU DURING YOUR BEREAVEMENT
The Kirkwood provides specialist care, free of charge, to adults from all communities in Kirklees with advanced, progressive illnesses at any time from diagnosis to the end of life, respecting their individual needs and wishes. Care and support is also provided for their family members, friends and carers, both during the illness and after death.
In order to achieve this, we rely upon the many volunteers who donate their time to complement the work of the staff.
The Kirkwood is a Registered Charity (No. 512987). Any donations toward the cost of caring is always appreciated.
HOW THE KIRKWOOD COUNSELLING TEAM CAN HELP
The Kirkwood Counselling Team can help you in the following ways:
• Counselling and Psychotherapy
• Telephone Counselling & Telephone Support
• Family Support
• Couples Support
• Bereavement Support Group
• Newly Bereaved Group
Children
We do not offer counselling to children and young people under 18, however the team are available to offer advice, support and signposting to more appropriate services if required.
We have a selection of books and leaflets which may be helpful to you to have conversations with your children. Often, family members or significant caregivers are in the best position to help their children through a bereavement. We are here to offer support with this.
PRACTICAL ARRANGEMENTS
1. WHAT TO DO FIRST
The Medical Examiner and Registering a death
When someone dies at the Kirkwood, The Medical Examiner Office is informed of the death by the hospice doctor. Medical Examiners are senior medical doctors who have a statutory responsibility to independently review the cause of all deaths. They make sure that the cause of death on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) is accurate and decide whether there should be further investigations by the coroner.
You will be contacted by The Medical Examiner’s office who will be able to confirm the deceased’s cause of death, discuss the care they received, answer any questions or concerns, and explain the wording on the medical certificate agreed by the doctor and Medical Examiner. The Medical Examiner will send the medical certificate to the Registrar and explain to you what you will need to do. You have 5 days to register the death once the Medical Examiner has contacted you.
When someone dies at home, the first official telephone call should be to the GP who will need to confirm the death. The GP will contact the Medical Examiner as above before issuing a medical certificate. The Medical Examiner will send the medical certificate to the Registrar. If the death happens during the night or outside normal surgery hours, there will be an out of hours number for you to contact.
Who may register a death?
Regulations state that only certain people can register a death with the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths:
• A relative of the deceased who was present at the time of death
• A relative of the deceased in attendance during the last illness
• A relative of the deceased residing in the same local district
• A person present at the time of death
• The occupier i.e. Matron or Officer in Charge of a nursing home or rest home, provided they knew of the illness before the death
• The person responsible for the disposal of the body i.e. an executor, solicitor or similar
You will need to take with you:
• The deceased’s birth and marriage certificate (if available)
You will need to know:
• The full name and address of the deceased (maiden name if applicable)
• Their date and place of birth
• Occupation of the deceased
• The name, date of birth and occupation of spouse if applicable
• If married more than once, the names of former spouses
The Registrar will give you
Whilst at the time of publishing this leaflet all information is correct, should any procedures differ, the Registrars will advise you.
• Certificate for Burial or Cremation (known as the Green Form) unless the Coroner has given you an Order for Burial or a Certificate for Cremation. Whichever form you are given will be needed by the Funeral Director so that the funeral can be held
• A certificate of Registration of Death (form BD8) for the Department for Work and Pensions
• In addition you may buy as many copies of the Full Death Certificate as you require, for example for banks or insurance claims
2. REGISTERING THE DEATH
Deaths that occur in The Kirkwood or at a place within the Kirklees area can be registered at the Huddersfield or Dewsbury Office.
You will need to register the death normally within five days of the person dying:
Huddersfield Register Office Civic Centre
1 High Street
Huddersfield HD1 2NF
Telephone: 01484 221030
Dewsbury Register Office
The Town Hall
Wakefield Old Road
Dewsbury WF12 8DG
Telephone: 01924 324733
The offices are open: Mon: 9.00am-5.00pm Tues: 9.00am-5.00pm Wed: 9.00am-5.00pm Thur: 9.00am-5.00pm Fri: 9.00am-5.00pm Sat: 9.00am-12.00am
You will need to make an appointment. Closed on bank holidays
3. CORONERS, POST MORTEMS AND INQUESTS
In some circumstances the death may have to be referred to the Coroners Office. The Coroner is a doctor or lawyer appointed by a local authority to investigate certain deaths. These may include an unexplained or sudden death, an accidental death, or if the death was a result of an industrial disease for example, mesothelioma (this is not a complete list).
Referrals to the Coroner are infrequent and should not be a cause for concern. The role of the Coroner is to establish the cause of a person’s death; therefore in some cases, a post mortem and inquest may be ordered. The family will be kept informed of what is happening throughout this process. The death cannot be registered whilst the Coroner is still investigating it. However, this does not necessarily mean that the funeral will have to be delayed. A Coroner’s interim certificate can be issued so that you can continue with funeral or other practical arrangements.
4. CHOOSING A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
The choice of a Funeral Director is important. You should feel comfortable and confident with them. You can ask any Funeral Director for an estimated cost before making a commitment to use their services. It is reasonable to seek estimates from more than one company.
The Funeral Director needs to know and discuss with you:
• The name, age and religion of the deceased
• The place of death and name of the doctor who has signed the medical certificate
• Any particular requests left by the deceased
• If burial or cremation is required
• The type of service, hymns, cars, flowers, newspaper notices etc. you would like
• The style of coffin
The Funeral Director will need the Green Form from the Registrar’s Office.
5. BURIAL OR CREMATION
Cremation
If you choose cremation, an additional form is required. If the death occurred in The Kirkwood this form will be completed at The Kirkwood by two doctors and will be collected by your Funeral Director. Costs of crematoria are governed by local authorities.
Ashes can be buried in the churchyard or cemetery or they can be kept or scattered (although in some places, consent may be required to do so).
Burial
Your family may already have reserved a burial plot for which you will have a deed or grant. This will show the plot number of the existing grave. You will need to take this document to your Funeral Director.
If you do not have a reserved plot then your Funeral Director will advise and assist you on the availability of a new plot. Some churchyards are no longer open for burials because there is no space left.
6. PEOPLE YOU MAY NEED TO INFORM
There may be various people or organisations who need to be informed of the death:
• Solicitors
• Bank or Building Society (if there is a joint account the partner can continue to draw cash)
• Employer or Trade Union (check if any wages or pension are due)
• Tax Office
• Department for Work and Pensions to cancel pensions, allowances, benefits etc.
• Local Social Services if meals on wheels, home care, day centre transport was used
• The Family Doctor (GP)
• Landlord
• Insurance including motor insurance (anyone driving a vehicle insured only in the deceased person’s name is not legally insured)
• Gas, electricity, telephone companies, Royal Mail, milk deliveries, newsagents (change the name for future accounts or cancel services if the home is left unoccupied)
• Library, subscriptions, clubs
7. CHECKLIST
Wait to hear from the Medical Examiner
Check that the medical certificate is being sent electronically
Make appointment at Registrar’s Office
Register the death
Contact funeral director
Contact solicitor if necessary
Notify Department for Work and Pensions
Contact any private pension providers
Inform banks or building societies
Notify any private insurance companies
Notify council tax office
Return blue badge for disabled parking
Contact family doctor (GP)
Contact dentist
Cancel any future outpatient appointments
Inform utility companies
Return any medical equipment
Contact Gateway to Care to cancel services
Inform DVLA and return driving licence
Contact car insurance company
Cancel any online accounts
Cancel any subscriptions
Done
8. THINGS WHICH MAY NEED RETURNING
• Passport - Liverpool Passport Office
• Driving licence - return to DVLA, Swansea
• Car registration documents to record change of ownership - contact DVLA, Swansea
• Blue Badge for disabled parking - return to local authority
• Library books and tickets - return to local authority
• Any NHS or Hospice equipment on loan
• Stair lift - contact the Kirkless Direct team on: 01484 414933
• Wheelchair services: 01422 312729
• All other equipment - Kirklees Medequip Services: 01484 728970
• Medication in the home - return to supplying pharmacy
9. STOPPING JUNK MAIL
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
10. DEALING WITH A DECEASED PERSON’S MONEY AND PROPERTY
When a person dies, somebody has to take the responsibility of dealing with their estate and this is often a family member or a close relative. It may be that all of these arrangements were discussed and sorted out before the person died, but sometimes this is not the case. If the deceased person left a Will, and it names someone other than yourself as the ‘executor’, then you should contact that person immediately. It is the ‘executor’ who will deal with the estate. If the Will is invalid or if there is no Will at all, then the person who deals with the estate is called the ‘administrator’. If you have any doubts about these roles or you are unsure what to do, there is a lot of useful information you can access on the internet at: www.direct.gov.uk
If you do not have access to the internet you may seek advice by contacting your local Citizens Advice Bureau, Age UK, Law Centre or a Solicitor. They will be able to help you.
There is information in this booklet if you are interested in leaving a gift to The Kirkwood.
GRIEF / GRIEVING
Grief
The death of a family member or friend can be a devastating experience and can bring about stronger emotions than you have previously felt.
For some people the grieving starts at the time of death; for others it starts at the time of diagnosis.
Grief may involve a series of changes in our life-style and in our attitude to living.
It is a social and emotional upheaval - the world with which we are familiar has changed, so we may need to be able to adapt to new circumstances. Change can be stressful, it is often difficult to get used to new situations.
How we cope with grief depends on how close we were to the person who died, on our age, on our personality, the amount of support we get from others and on our own beliefs about life and death.
Grieving is part of bereavement and it can affect people in different ways. Grieving may include some of the following:
• Numbness and difficulty accepting that the person has died
• Thinking you have seen or heard the person or searching for them
• Difficulty sleeping or eating
• Feeling physically low or worrying about your health
• Sadness
• Anxiety and restlessness
• Guilt
• Anger
• Loneliness
• It can undermine your self-confidence
• Depression or feeling you are going mad
• Finding everyday situations and relationships difficult to cope with
• Disappointment about the plans and dreams that will never be fulfilled
• And sometimes, feelings of relief
You may or may not have any of these feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to experience whatever feelings arise.
Bereavement is one of the most painful experiences we have to endure, yet many go through it without the need for medical attention. For those who do run into problems, however, there is help available and you shouldn’t hesitate to contact your family doctor.
THOUGHTS FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE USED OUR SERVICES
Here are some practical ideas which have been suggested to the The Kirkwood Counselling Team by people who have used our service which may be of help:
• Take time to feel the loss - build in some quiet time to be alone and undistracted
• Find healthy ways to relieve stress - for example, through activity, exercise, relaxation or prayer
• Make sense of your loss - pushing away painful thoughts only makes them stronger
• Confide in someone - this may be a family member, a friend, clergy or therapist who can listen and support you
• Allow yourself to change - loss of people and roles in our life can change us
• This is a time of major change and re-evaluation. Allow yourself the space to explore these areas with those whom you trust
• Take care over any life changing decisions, for example moving house, legal or financial concerns
• Take care of yourself - attempt to rest and eat well and to allow yourself time to deal with and express your grief
GRIEF IN CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE
Children will react and cope in various ways according to their age and level of understanding. Generally, children do not understand the meaning of death until they are 3 or 4 years old. They are likely to go through periods of time when they seem to be unaffected by the death.
Children and young people often know and understand far more than we give them credit for.
Knowing how painful bereavement can be, adults may attempt to shield children and young people from the pain by telling them little or nothing about what has happened.
Try to let children and young people share your grief and encourage them to express their feelings. It is common for them to think they were responsible in some way for the death.
Talking, reading, drawing and playing games can be helpful.
The charity Winston’s Wish offers a range of practical support and guidance to bereaved children, their families and professionals. They provide help in individual and also group settings, as well as Helpline support. For support please contact their Helpline on: 08088 020 021 or visit: www.winstonswish.org
SUPPORTING A BEREAVED FRIEND OR A RELATIVE
Giving time to provide the opportunity for talking and for tears can be particularly helpful for the bereaved. Words are not always necessary; just listening and giving your time can be most helpful.
You will find that some people need to cover the same topic over and over again. This is an important part of the healing process and should be encouraged. It is important that the bereaved person be allowed to talk and to cry without being told to pull themselves together.
Practical help, such as helping with chores or child care, can ease the bereaved person’s stress.
PLACES TO CONTACT FOR HELP
Department for Work and Pensions -
Bereavement Services
0800 731 7898 - one telephone call will enable you to cancel benefits, make claims for bereavement benefits and funeral payment and also make any changes to state pensions.
Kirklees Benefit Advice
Tel: 0808 278 7896
Visit: betteroffkirklees.org.uk to learn more about what benefits you may be entitled to and help on how to apply for them.
CRUSE
National Helpline
Tel: 0808 808 1677
Brian Jackson House
New North Parade
Huddersfield HD1 5JP
Tel: 01484 546318
Citizens Advice Bureau
Huddersfield & Slaithwate
6 - 8 St Peters Street
Huddersfield
West Yorkshire HD1 1EB
Tel: 01484 425240
Batley
Town Hall
Brunswick Street
Batley WF17 5DT
Tel: 0844 848 7970
Dewsbury
Units 5/6 Empire House
Wakefield Old Road
Dewsbury WF12 8DJ
Tel: 0844 848 7970
Age UK
Huddersfield
Woolshops
Halifax HX1 1RJ
Tel: 01422 252040/01484 535994
CONTACT INFORMATION FOR FURTHER BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT
BRAKE
P. O. Box 548
Huddersfield HD1 2XZ
Tel: 01484 559909
Helpline: 0808 800 0401
Help for bereavement through a road crash.
The Miscarriage Association
2 Otters Hall
Wakefield WF4 3QE
Tel: 01924 200 799
Support group.
Widowed & Young
Tel: 01332 869222
Visit: www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Support for widowed men and women across the UK.
Huddersfield Muslim Burial Council
Visit huddersfieldmbc.org for contact details.
Child Death Helpline
Tel: 0800 282 986
MIND
Tel: 0300 123 3393
Information helpline.
Samaritans
Huddersfield 14 New North Parade
Huddersfield HD1 5JP
Tel: 0330 094 5717
Tel: 116 123 (freephone)
A 24 hour emergency service for the despairing and suicidal.
Childhood Bereavement Network
Tel: 020 7843 6309
Child Bereavement UK
National Helpline
Tel: 0800 028 8840
Email: helpline@ childbereavementuk.org
Grief Encounter
National Helpline
Tel: 0808 802 0111
Email: grieftalk@ griefencounter.org.uk
Hope Again
National Helpline
Tel: 0808 808 1677
Email: hopeagain @cruse.org.uk
Winston’s Wish
National Helpline
Tel: 0808 802 0021 www.winstonswish.org.uk
DID YOU KNOW?
The Kirkwood is a charity, meaning we rely on the generosity of local people to fund the majority of our services each year.
As well as providing specialist care for patients, The Kirkwood offer vital counselling services to bereaved families. Any donations we receive help us provide vital emotional support to those who need it most.
If you’d like to find out more about the difference your support can make when it matters most, visit our website or get in touch with our friendly team of fundraisers.
Website: thekirkwood.org.uk
Fundraising: 01484 557 911
Email: fundraising@thekirkwood.org.uk
LEAVING A GIFT IN YOUR WILL
Some people choose to remember The Kirkwood in their Will. This is a vital source of income for us. Last year, the care of one in every five patients was funded through the generosity of local people who chose to leave us a gift in their Will. Perhaps you would like to consider supporting The Kirkwood in this way too?
If you choose to add The Kirkwood to your Will, your gift will become a lifeline for local families in need. You’ll help patients to focus on what really matters to them, and help us to support families and loved ones during illness and in bereavement too.
If you have any questions about leaving a gift to The Kirkwood in your Will, please get in touch. We’re here to help.
Whatever you choose to give, any gift will be the reason that those in our care are able to make the very most of the time they have left, whatever else is happening in the world.
For any enquiries, please call Dawn Walker on: 01484 557 911 or email: giftsinwills@thekirkwood.org.uk
Any information you decide to share with us will be treated in the strictest confidence.
IN LIEU OF FLOWERS AND IN MEMORY DONATIONS
When planning a funeral, many families choose to limit flowers and ask family and friends to make a charitable donation instead.
If this is something you would like to do for The Kirkwood, we can help by providing donation envelopes, which can be given to those attending the service.
Our donation envelopes are a very simple and convenient way to collect donations. There is space on the envelope for the name and address of each donor, meaning we can thank them afterwards and give them the opportunity to Gift Aid each personal donation made by a UK tax payer, adding 25p to every £1 donated.
You can also set up online donation pages in lieu of flowers, which your funeral director will often be able to help you with. If you would like more information, please get in touch with our fundraising team, who will be happy to help. Please call on: 01484 557 911 or email us at: fundraising@thekirkwood.org.uk to order your envelopes or ask us any questions you may have.
LIST OF FUNERAL DIRECTORS
Bradley Funeral Service
9 Copthorne Square, Bradley, Huddersfield, HD2 1SJ
Tel: 01484 534488
Brighouse Funeralcare
44 Huddersfield Road, Brighouse, HD6 3RA
Tel: 01484 713512
Chambers Funeral Service
8 Northgate, Almondbury, Huddersfield, HD5 8RX
Tel: 01484 429991
Charles Wood Funeral Services
St. Johns Chapel of Rest, Bramston Street, Brighouse, HD6 3AA
Tel: 01484 720811
Coop Funeralcare Greenhead Road, Huddersfield, HD1 4EN
Tel: 01484 428961
David Butterfield Funeral Directors
Bradford Road, Rawfolds, Cleckheaton, BD19 5LT
Tel: 01274 852885 / 01924 685770
Deborah Ingham Funeral Service
59-61 Highgate Lane, Lepton, Huddersfield, HD8 0DS
Tel: 01484 451313
DJ Screen & Sons
98 Elland Road, Brookfoot, Brighouse, HD6 2QR
Tel: 01484 719999
DJ Screen & Sons
222 Bradford Road, Fartown, Huddersfield, HD1 6LJ
Tel: 01484 452220
Eric F Box Funeral Directors
Bradford Road, Dewsbury, WF13 2EW
Tel: 01924 465402
Eric F. Box Funeral Directors
18 Kirkgate, Birstall, Batley, WF17 9PB
Tel: 01924 472178
Gateway Funeral Services
363 Wakefield Road, Denby Dale Huddersfield
HD8 8RP
Tel: 01484 706206
Gateway Funeral Services
Southfield Terrace, Birkenshaw, BD11 2AN
Tel: 01274 653115
Gateway Funeral Services
53 Bradford Road, Cleckheaton, BD19 3LB
Tel: 01274 891335
Gateway Funeral Services
432 Halifax Road, Bradford BD6 2JY
Tel: 01274 891336
Gateway Funeral Services
494 Bradford Road, Batley, Wakefield WF17 5JY
Tel: 01924 682195
George Brooke Ltd 14 Sharp Street, Dewsbury, WF13 1QZ
Tel: 01924 454476
George Brooke Ltd
9 Battye Street, Dewsbury, WF13 1PW
Tel: 01924 454476
George Brooke Ltd 14a St. Paul’s Road, Mirfield, WF14 8AX
Tel: 01924 497352
Golcar Independent Funeral Directors
51 Leymoor Road, Golcar, Huddersfield, HD3 4SW
Tel: 01484 644650
Heckmondwike Funeralcare
Park View House, Westgate, Heckmondwike, WF16 0EH
Tel: 01924 401143
Herman Tattersfield & Son
Bath Road, Cleckheaton, WF16 9EA
Tel: 01924 403630
Highfield Funeral Services Directors
West Croft Trinity Street, Huddersfield, HD1 4DT
Tel: 01484 428243
Huddersfield Funeral Home
106 St. Thomas’ Road, Huddersfield, HD1 3LL
Tel: 01484 819364
Mackness Funeralcare
318 Wakefield Road, Dalton, Huddersfield, HD5 8DQ
Tel: 01484 542255
McNulty Funeral Services
25 New North Parade, Huddersfield, HD1 5JU
Tel: 01484 426278
Michael E Wright & Son
4a Westfield Lane, Scholes, BD19 6EN
Tel: 01274 871092
Michael E Wright & Son
Farfield Street, Cleckheaton, BD19 3TX
Tel: 01274 871092
Mirfield Funeralcare (Inc. Joseph Sheard)
8 Nettleton Road, Mirfield, WF14 9AA
Tel: 01924 492219
Morley, Rhodes & Wainwright Funeral Directors
12 Radcliffe Street, Skelmenthorpe, HD8 9AF
Tel: 01484 862095
Naylor & Grysdale Funeral Directors
Spring Gardens Chapel, Lightcliffe Road, Brighouse, HD6 2DJ
Tel: 01484 715332
Pearson Funeral Service
Manchester Road, Marsden, Huddersfield, HD7 6EY
Tel: 01484 844289
Pearson Funeral Service
7-9 Station Road, Meltham, Holmfirth, HD9 5NX
Tel: 01484 688575
Radcliffe Funeral Services
16 Westgate, Honley, Holmfirth, HD9 6AA
Tel: 01484 662324
Radcliffe Funeral Services
The Lindens, New Road, Kirkheaton, Huddersfield, HD5 0JB
Tel: 01484 535853
Richard H Fearnley
Funeral Directors
745 Huddersfield Road, Dewsbury, WF13 3LQ
Tel: 01924 494435
Slaithwaite Funeral Home
Old Bank, Slaithwaite, HD7 5AR
Tel: 01484 819303
Ref: The Kirkwood Bereavement Book
Review Date: November 2026
Publication Date: November 2024
The Gables Funeral Service
22 New Hey Road, Marsh, Huddersfield, HD3 4AH
Tel: 01484 424235
The Taylor Funeral Service
2 Cowlersley Lane, Cowlersley, Huddersfield, HD4 5TY
Tel: 01484 656156
TW Birks & Son Holme Valley Funeral Home, Woodhead Road, Holmfirth, Huddersfield, HD9 2PR
Tel: 01484 839043
TW Birks & Son
317 Meltham Road, Netherton, Huddersfield, HD4 7EX
Tel: 01484 839533
Disclaimer: These details are correct at the time of press. The Kirkwood does not take responsibility for the standard or quality of any of the services provided by voluntary or private agencies outlined in this book.
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
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stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
www.huddersfieldfs.co.uk www.slaithwaitefunerals.co.uk
We create every funeral individually, just for you.
• 24-hour service
• Bereavement advice
• Home visits
• Private chapels of rest
• Floral tributes
• Memorial masonry
• Repatriation
• Prepaid funeral plans
