A guide to help with practical and emotional issues around death and bereavement
A message from the team at Cornwall Hospice Care
We would like to express our heartfelt condolences and deepest sympathy to you, your family and friends during this very sad time. We understand that the time ahead may be difficult for you and we would like to offer our support. This booklet has been provided to try and help you deal with some of the practical and emotional aspects of losing someone that you love.
Disclaimer
At the time of printing, the information provided in this bereavement booklet was accurate and up to date. However, please be aware that details and resources are subject to change. For the most current information, we recommend reaching out to Cornwall Hospice Care directly.
Information for bereaved relatives and friends on what to do and who can help
This is often a very difficult and confusing time. This booklet aims to provide helpful advice and support as you navigate the next few days, weeks, and months.
When someone dies, there are several practical matters that require attention and care. These tasks can feel overwhelming, but knowing what steps to take can make the process a little easier.
Please remember that you can talk to any member of the hospice staff, and we will assist you or guide you to the right person for help. We are here to support you in any way we can.
The following pages outline the practical steps that take place after a person dies and what you need to do. This includes information on managing personal belongings, obtaining necessary documents, and understanding the legal processes involved.
Practical Steps
Property, Death Certificate
Collecting Property
Property and valuables belonging to your relative or friend will be kept safely by the nursing staff until you are able to collect them. Please arrange to collect any items within 5 days by calling the ward so that we can ensure everything is ready.
- Tel: 01736 759070 - St. Julia’s Hospice
- Tel: 01726 65711 - Mount Edgcumbe Hospice
Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD)
This certificate enables a death to be registered. Our hospice doctor will automatically complete this as soon as possible and will deliver it to the Registrar. They will do this within a few working days of the death, allowing you to register the death within the required 5-day period. This replaces the previous process in which you would need to collect this certificate.
Please turn to page 6 for further information on this process.
Practical Steps
Medical Examiner
Medical Examiner
The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD), mentioned on page 3, is a critical document that a medical examiner, a senior medical practitioner, independently reviews before it is sent to the registrar.
After the medical examiner has conducted their checks, their office will contact you to explain the next steps and confirm the wording on the MCCD. They will also inquire if you have any concerns regarding the care provided.
In cases where the cause of death is unclear or there are suspicions of a work-related disease, a doctor cannot issue an MCCD without consulting the coroner. The hospice doctors or medical examiner will inform you if such a referral is necessary. For more details, please refer to page 5 of this booklet, and feel free to reach out if you need further guidance or clarification.
Tel: 01736 759070 - St. Julia’s Hospice
Tel: 01726 65711 - Mount Edgcumbe Hospice
Practical Steps
When a Coroner is involved
Referral to the Coroner
When a death is referred to the coroner, it is at their discretion to determine whether further investigation is necessary. In certain cases, the coroner may authorise a doctor to issue the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) without requiring additional investigation.
If a death is referred to the coroner, a police officer working under the coroner’s direction may contact you to gather information about your loved one’s medical history. This is standard procedure and can involve a phone call or a home visit to discuss the events leading up to their death.
If the coroner decides that further investigation is warranted, their office will contact you to explain the next steps. During this time, if you require proof of death while awaiting the completion of the inquest, you can request an interim death certificate from the coroner. Once the inquest concludes, you can obtain the final death certificate from the registrar.
Practical Steps
Registering the death
Your responsibility
You have a legal obligation to register the death within 5 days, which includes weekends and bank holidays. If the involvement of a coroner is necessary, the process differs slightly – refer to page 5 for details.
While the hospice doctor and medical examiner are preparing the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD), you can contact the registrar to schedule an appointment. The registrar will attempt to arrange an appointment close to your residence. The next page will provide instructions on how to proceed with this.
Who can register a death?
- A relative of the deceased. A relative includes individuals connected by blood, marriage, civil partnership, or adoption.
- Someone who was present at the time of death.
- The occupant of the property where the death occurred.
- The person responsible for arranging the funeral.
These individuals are eligible to register the death and should do so promptly to fulfil legal requirements and facilitate necessary arrangements.
Practical Steps
Booking registrar appointment
If you live in Cornwall
To book an appointment with the registrar to register a death, please contact Cornwall Council Contact Centre on:
0300 1234 181
Phone lines are open:
Monday 9am to 6pm
Tuesday 9am to 6pm
Wednesday 10am to 6pm
Thursday 9am to 6pm
Friday 9am to 6pm
What should I bring to the appointment?
Any official documents belonging to the person who has died, such as birth certificate and medical card will be helpful at the appointment. You can make a note of essential information on pages 9 to 10.
Arrangements can be made to register a death elsewhere, so if you are unable to attend an appointment in Cornwall, please turn to the next page.
Practical Steps
Booking registrar appointment cont.
Registration outside Cornwall
If you are unable to attend an appointment in Cornwall, you can register the death ‘by declaration’ at any register office in England and Wales. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Make an Appointment: Schedule an appointment at the register office of your choice outside of Cornwall.
2. Notify Cornwall Council: Call the Cornwall Council Contact Centre using the number provided on page 7 to inform them that you will be registering the death by declaration.
3. Process: The registrar in Cornwall will then forward the details of the death to the register office in the district where the death occurred. This involves sending necessary forms, which may delay the funeral by a few days.
This procedure allows you to register the death outside of Cornwall without needing to travel, ensuring compliance with legal requirements.
Practical
Steps
Before the registrar appointment
What information will I need to know beforehand?
Date of death:.....................................................................
Place of death: ...................................................................
Name and surname: ............................................................
This should be the name they were known as at the time of their death. You should also establish if they are known by any other name currently or previously. You need to record those details together with some notes as to the circumstances. This will help the registrar ascertain how to record the information in the entry.
This should include the name or number of the house, name of the street and village or town. Where the death occurred in a hospice the deceased’s usual address should be recorded.
Practical Steps
At the registrar appointment
The registrar will conduct the registration in a private room at the register office, using the information you provide. They will enter all details into a computer system and allow you to review them for accuracy. It is crucial to ensure the information is correct because correcting mistakes later can incur fees of up to £90. Once entered, the information is saved electronically, and you will receive a copy of the entry.
At your appointment, you can purchase additional certified copies of the entry for a fee of £12.50 each. It is advisable to obtain extra copies as they are often required by banks, insurance companies, and other institutions.
A certificate for burial or cremation, commonly referred to as a “green form,” will be issued. This form facilitates the funeral arrangements (unless the coroner is involved, in which case different procedures may apply). There is no charge for this form. You can receive it during your appointment or request the registrar to send it directly to the crematorium or cemetery. Additionally, you may receive a certificate to submit to the Department for Work and Pensions as needed.
Practical Steps
Tell Us Once Service
When you register the death, the registrar will provide you with information about the Tell Us Once service. They will either complete the Tell Us Once service with you during your appointment or give you a unique reference number so you can use the service yourself online or by phone.
It’s important to use the Tell Us Once service within 28 days of receiving your unique reference number. You can obtain further information from the registrar or visit www.gov.uk/tell-us-once. Tell Us Once consolidates information across several organisations so that you do not have to notify them individually. The service links information between:
- Department for Work and Pensions (DWP)
- HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC)
- Local Authorities
- Driving and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA)
- HM Passport Office This streamlined process helps manage administrative tasks efficiently during this difficult time.
Practical Steps
Other people you may need to inform
There are various people who need to be informed of the death and it may be useful to use these checklists to guide you:
Season travel tickets or concessionary passes (return to relevant travel company)
Blue badge (disabled parking) to council
Completed
Practical Steps
Funeral arrangements
Contact a Funeral Director
You do not have to wait until the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) has been issued to contact a funeral director. Take your time before deciding on a funeral director, comparing the services offered and their likely costs. Funeral directors should clearly present all costs and services and answer any questions you have about burial or cremation.
The funeral director of your choice will advise you on the available options and discuss the arrangements you wish to make. The funeral is your opportunity to say your goodbyes in a way that is appropriate both for you and the person who has died. It is important not to feel rushed. You may wish to choose who might lead the service (not necessarily a Minister of Religion), select specific music or readings, and involve other relatives or friends in the service. The funeral director will coordinate with the hospice team to collect and look after your loved one.
Practical Steps
Funeral arrangements
Paying for the funeral
Funeral costs are normally recoverable from the deceased’s estate, but the person organising the funeral will be responsible for paying the bill. It is advisable to check where the money will come from before you make arrangements.
Many people now purchase their funeral in advance through a pre-purchase funeral plan. You may need to check if this has been arranged. If you are having difficulty paying for a funeral, you may be entitled to help with the funeral costs through the Social Fund.
Funeral grants have a maximum threshold, and not everyone receives the full amount. It is essential to consider this when organising the funeral to prevent running up large costs. In some cases, when there are no funds to pay for the funeral, the local authority may help. Please discuss this with the hospice team, who will assist you in making arrangements. It is important that you contact them before the funeral has been arranged.
Practical Steps
Funeral arrangements
Many funeral directors require payment before probate is granted, so it’s crucial to discuss payment arrangements early on. When probate is being processed, some banks and building societies may release funds to cover funeral expenses before probate is officially granted, but this is not guaranteed for all institutions. It’s advisable to verify this with the relevant financial entities.
For comprehensive assistance, there is now a one-stop contact number at the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) (0800 731 0469). This number allows you to cancel all DWP benefits and inquire about eligibility for help towards costs, such as a funeral grant, as well as other benefits you may be entitled to.
There are specific time limits for claiming bereavement benefits and a funeral grant, so it’s important to contact them as soon as possible to avoid missing out on potential assistance.
Practical Steps
Funeral arrangements
Settling the deceased person’s estate can be a confusing, time-consuming, and distressing process. If you have been named Executor in the Will, you will have the responsibility for carrying out the person’s wishes. This includes ensuring that any outstanding expenses, debts, and taxes are settled from the deceased person’s estate. It also involves arranging for possessions and other assets to be distributed appropriately and in accordance with the deceased person’s Will, if one exists. This role requires careful attention to detail and adherence to legal procedures to fulfil the wishes of the deceased effectively.
Support
Grief: when someone dies
The death of someone you love can be an overwhelmingly devastating experience, often triggering emotions stronger than most people have ever felt before.
Even if you were prepared for your loved one’s passing, the reality of their death can still be shocking. Initially, you may feel numb, empty, and detached from reality. As time progresses, you might encounter emotions such as anger, panic, guilt, and profound sadness. Restlessness, particularly at night, may make it difficult to sleep.
During this period, you might also find yourself becoming irritable, overly critical of yourself and others, or feeling unable to focus on everyday tasks. These feelings can contribute to a sense of despair.
It’s important to recognise that all these reactions are natural responses to bereavement. They do not indicate an inability to cope but rather reflect the depth of your emotions and the significant impact of your loss. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve, and reach out to supportive individuals or resources if needed.
Grief: when someone dies
Grief is a highly personal and individual process, and each person reacts differently to loss. It is crucial to give yourself the necessary time to grieve and to come to terms with your loss in a way that feels right for you. Rushing into decisions about the future is not advisable during this sensitive time.
Some individuals may find it challenging to allow themselves to grieve immediately after a death, especially if they feel they need to remain strong for others, such as caregiving responsibilities. In these cases, grief may be suppressed and later resurface when triggered by a subsequent loss or even a minor event. This delayed expression of emotions can occur many years after the initial loss.
It’s important to recognise and respect your own grieving process. There is no set timeline for grief, and everyone navigates it differently. Seek support from loved ones, friends, or professional counsellors if you find yourself struggling with your emotions or the grieving process.
Getting support Support
Support from us:
Our Patient and Family Support team will reach out to you 6-8 weeks after your loss. If you feel you need support sooner, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Our Sanctuary is always available for quiet reflection, and we can arrange for a member of our hospice clinical team to meet with you if desired.
Face-to-Face Bereavement Support:
Bereavement Help Points: We host monthly drop-in sessions for anyone who has experienced a loss. These provide a relaxed and supportive environment for conversations, peer support, information on resources, and refreshments.
Walk Talk Kernow: This initiative promotes social connections among those grieving. Participants can enjoy outdoor walks in the company of others while surrounded by the soothing elements of nature.
Bereavement Support by Telephone:
Listening Ear Service: While not a counselling service, our Listening Ear Service offers free information, support, and guidance. We are here to listen and provide assistance during your bereavement journey.
We are committed to providing compassionate support tailored to your needs. Please reach out to us at any time if you require assistance or wish to connect with our services.
Getting support Support
For more information on these services please visit:
You can self-refer by calling our Community Services on 01726 829 874 or by emailing communityservices@cornwallhospice.co.uk
Talking to others
Don’t hesitate to share your feelings with someone you trust. Others may avoid mentioning your loved one because they fear upsetting you, so letting them know when you’re ready to talk can help. Tears are a natural and healthy way to release emotions – there’s no need to feel embarrassed about expressing them.
Locally, there are several organisations that provide additional support and counselling services. For a list of these organisations, please visit our online directory at: www.cornwallhospicecare.co.uk/our-care/useful-links/ bereavement-grief
Remember, reaching out for support is a positive step toward healing, and these resources are here to assist you through this difficult time.
Talking to children about death Support
Adults often feel a strong urge to shield children from the concept of death. They may worry that children won’t comprehend or will be too overwhelmed by the news.
However, we often underestimate children’s resilience and their ability to handle difficult situations. In fact, children can find it more challenging if they are kept in the dark, as their imaginations may create fears about what has happened.
It’s important to explain the facts to children in a straightforward manner, using clear and appropriate language such as ‘dead’ or ‘death’, rather than euphemisms like ‘lost’ or ‘asleep’. Allow them time to ask questions, even if they are direct, and provide plenty of reassurance throughout the conversation.
Adults can also benefit children by sharing their own feelings, such as sadness, openly. This helps children understand that it’s normal to feel sad when someone passes away. Encouraging children to express themselves through activities like drawing pictures can also be a helpful part of their grieving process and a way to say goodbye.
By approaching the topic of death with honesty and openness, while providing support and reassurance, adults can help children navigate this challenging aspect of life with understanding and resilience.
Getting support for children Support
There are lots of helpful books available to gently support your discussion, please contact the hospice if we can be of any help.
You can also make use of our directory of local and national organisations online at:
You can also find help and support at Penhaligon’s Friends, a Cornish charity supporting bereaved children, young people, parents, and carers throughout Cornwall. Please visit:
www.penhaligonsfriends.org.uk
Bereavement Advice Centre
Practical help when someone dies. www.bereavementadvice.org
Cornwall Bereavement Network
Find support in times of loss. www.cornwallbereavementnetwork.org
Cornwall Hospice Care’s Community Services Team
Offering bereavement support, information and listening. Telephone: 01726 829 874 www.cornwallhospicecare.co.uk/our-community-services/ bereavement-support
WAY Widowed & Young
Helps the under fifties who have lost a partner. Telephone: 0300 201 0051 www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Registered Charity Number 1113140
www.cornwallhospicecare.co.uk
Mount Edgcumbe Hospice
01726 65711
St Julia’s Hospice 01736 759070
Cornwall Hospice Care is a charity providing palliative care for people living in Cornwall. Our purpose is to provide compassionate, specialised end of life care for patients, their families, and carers, whilst guaranteeing our high-quality standards. Together with our local community in Cornwall, we will continue to make every day matter.
Reference: Mount Edgcumbe Hospice / St Julia’s Hospice Bereavement Support Book
Publication date: Sept 2024
Review date: Sept 2026
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
