Where Should I Tell the Children

Where Should I Tell the Children

Choose a familiar and quiet area of your home where you can give your child your full attention without distractions. Try to avoid bedtimes if at all possible. Give the child the facts in a simple manner, using appropriate words such as ‘dead’ and ‘death’ rather than ‘lost’ or ‘sleeping’. Also give the child permission to ask questions. It is helpful for adults to share feelings of sadness with children. By doing this, children will learn that it is usual to cry when someone dies, and they will know that it is natural for them to cry too. Grief in Children and Young People • Children will react and cope in various ways according to their age and level of understanding. Generally, children do not understand the meaning of death until they are 3 or 4 years old. They are likely to go through periods of time when they seem to be unaffected by death. • Children and young people often know and understand far more than we give them credit for. • Knowing how painful bereavement can be, adults may attempt to shield children and young people from the pain by telling them little or nothing about what has happened. • Try to let children and young people share your grief and encourage them to express their feelings. It is common for them to think they were responsible in some way for the death. • Talking, reading, drawing and playing games can be helpful.