Royal Devon and Exeter Bereavement Book DO NOT USE by bereavementadvice

NHS Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Foundation Trust

Help for the Bereaved Making arrangements following a bereavement

“Memories are the loveliest thing, They last from day to day, They can’t get lost; They don’t wear out, And can’t be given away.” (Anonymous)

The following is a quick-step guide to help you 1. Consider organ and tissue donation 2. Contact a funeral director 3. Awaiting a call from the Bereavement Team

A member of the Bereavement Team will contact you by 2.00pm the next working day to introduce themselves and guide you through the process. If we have been unable to contact you by 2.00pm please call 01392 402349 in office hours to speak with us. If you come by car to the hospital to deal with any matters relating to your bereavement please ask nursing staff on the ward to organise parking clearance. This will allow you to park free of charge for the duration of your visit.

Our condolences We would like to express our sincere condolences to you at this sad time. Bereavement is a time of grief and sorrow and the death of someone close can come as a dreadful shock. Some people may feel overwhelmed, confused, even numb at first. Crying and feeling angry or guilty are also natural feelings that can last a while. Questions such as “why us?” and “if only?” are normal. Your concentration, appetite and sleeping may be affected and you may feel more tired than usual. Some people feel anxious or experience feelings of panic and it is quite natural to feel depressed. Your life has been turned upside down and it will take time to adjust. Each of us will react in different ways at different times and there are no ‘set’ feelings that you ‘should’ have. Mourning is an essential yet painful process and sharing our emotions with someone else can often help. An important first step to think about is whether there are people you might contact to support you, or even be with you, over the first few days.

Information in this booklet Information to help you during a bereavement............... 1 Bereavement Team............................................................................................... 1 Different information formats............................................................... 1 How we can help.................................................................................................... 1 1. Making contact with a funeral director....................................... 2 2. The Bereavement Service.............................................................................. 4 3. Medical Examiner................................................................................................... 5 4. Dealing with the Coroner (if applicable).................................... 6 5. Tissue donation......................................................................................................... 8 6. Arranging to see your loved one........................................................ 9 7. Collecting property and valuables..................................................... 9 8. Hospital Post-Mortem....................................................................................... 10 9. Registering the death........................................................................................ 11 10. Other help available........................................................................................... 14 11. Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased...................... 17

Information to help you during a bereavement Bereavement Team We provide sympathetic support and assistance to bereaved relatives and carers to help them through the procedures following the death of a patient at the hospital. This booklet is designed to help you cope with these practical steps over the coming few days or weeks. We are always willing to make this information available in other formats or languages. If you need to receive this information in another format or in a language other than english, call us on 01392 402349 and we can discuss your needs.

How we can help To ensure that the practical arrangements are handled in a caring, professional and timely manner the RD&E’s bereavement services can help you in your dealings with the following people: • • • • • • •

The RD&E’s Mortuary staff Hospital Chaplains Medical Examiners Funeral directors (undertakers) The Coroner and Coroner’s Officers The Registrar of births, deaths and marriages GPs (General Practitioner) 1

1. Making contact with a funeral director You can contact a funeral director following a death and can start making arrangements. If you are unsure of the wishes of the deceased regarding funeral arrangements you may find they have included this in their Will. Funeral directors are available during office hours, which are Monday to Friday 8.30am–5.00pm. However, they can be contacted 24 hours a day, every day, for emergency calls. To minimise waiting time, it is helpful to telephone the funeral directors to make an appointment to see them. They will make all the necessary arrangements with you. When you see a member of the Bereavement Team you will be asked to sign a release form. This form allows the funeral director to collect the deceased from the hospital. The cost of a funeral varies and you may wish to see a brochure and price list or contact several funeral directors to compare prices, services provided and facilities available before making a decision.

A list of funeral directors can be found via: • The British Institute of Funeral Directors, 28 Cherry Blossom Close, Ipswich, Suffolk IP8 3ST telephone 0800 032 2733 • The National Association of Funeral Directors, 618 Warwick Road, Solihull, West Midlands, B91 1AA telephone 0121 711 1343 • The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors, 3 Bullfields, Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire, CM21 9DB telephone 0345 230 6777 • Internet search

2. The Bereavement Service Certain formalities must be dealt with following a death. The death will need to be registered and to do this you will need a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. This certificate is completed by a doctor at the hospital. It normally takes a few days for the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death to be completed. When we call you we will ask if you are planning to have a burial or a cremation funeral service. This is so we can arrange the relevant forms. Once all the legal documents have been completed the deceased can be moved to the funeral director. You will receive a call from the Medical Examiner whose role is discussed in the next section of this booklet. Once this has happened we will contact you to help you arrange the registration of the death. We will be able to book you an appointment at the Registry Office once we have the certificate ready. We can book an appointment for you at any Registration Office in Devon except Plymouth and Torbay. You may book your own appointment at the Register Office but please wait until we or the Coroner’s Office advise you to go ahead, otherwise you may be unable to attend.

3. Medical Examiner Within a few days of the death of your loved one, you will be contacted by telephone by a Medical Examiner or one of their Officers. A Medical Examiner is a senior doctor who has not been involved in the care of your loved one. Their job is to review the care your loved one has received and ensure that the paperwork and processes following death are as streamlined as possible. During this conversation, the Medical Examiner will tell you what the cause of death will be as recorded on the Medical Certificate Cause of Death. You will have the opportunity to ask questions about the cause of death or about any aspect of your loved ones last illness. Following the call the Medical Examiner will release the Medical Certificate Cause of Death and other legal documents to the Bereavement Team. You will then be able to arrange registration of the death and transfer of the deceased person back to the care of your chosen funeral director.

4. Dealing with the Coroner (if applicable) Under certain circumstances, it is a legal requirement to inform the Coroner of a person’s death. For example, • If a patient dies having had a fall or an accident • If the death was sudden and unexpected • If they had been in hospital for less than 24 hours or had a recent operation • If there is a possibility of it being an unnatural death. If there is a need to contact the Coroner, the Coroner will then decide if the hospital doctor can issue the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death or whether a post-mortem is needed. If the Coroner requests a post-mortem, your permission is not required. You may then contact the Coroner’s Officers on 01392 225696 for further information. The office is open Monday to Friday 9.00am to 4.00pm. If a post-mortem is needed, the Coroner will issue a certificate to the Registrar once the cause of death has been established and enquiries are complete. You should then proceed with registering the death as described in Section 9. It will be necessary to telephone the Registrar in the first instance to ensure that the necessary paperwork has been received from the Coroner prior to making an appointment to register the death.

Please let your funeral director know if a post-mortem is being arranged. If a post-mortem is not needed, the Coroner will inform the hospital doctor that the medical certificate can be issued. The Bereavement Team will then contact you to arrange registration of the death.

5. Tissue donation Most people can be considered for tissue donation after death but there is only a short period of time for this to happen. All adults in England will be considered to have agreed to be a donor when they die unless they have recorded a decision not to donate. You still have a choice about whether or not you wish the deceased person to become a donor. Following a death, staff at the hospital will check the Organ Donor Register to see if the deceased had made a decision regarding donation. If you wish to consider donation, eyes for corneal transplant may be donated up to 24 hours after death. Donation will not delay funeral plans or alter the appearance of the deceased. Each donation can help at least two people to see again and sometimes more. Some people find that donating tissue for transplant can help the grieving process. If you would like to discuss this further or find out more please contact any one of the following: • The Exeter Tissue Donation Team on 01392 406255 • The Bereavement Team on 01392 402349 • The Mortuary Team on 01392 403060 • The NHS Blood and Transplant Service 0800 432 0559 • A doctor or nurse involved in the care of your relative

6. Arranging to see your loved one The funeral director will arrange to collect the deceased from the hospital. Relatives can arrange to see the deceased at the funeral home. Should you wish to arrange to see your loved one please contact the funeral director to make an appointment. If you wish to visit your relative whilst they are still at the hospital please call the Mortuary, 01392 403060 Monday to Friday 9.30am to 3.30pm to arrange this. At weekends and bank holidays the Mortuary is closed. In exceptional circumstances we may be able to arrange an out-of-hours viewing between 9.00am and 12.30pm. To arrange a visit during these times please telephone the hospital switchboard on 01392 411611 and ask the operator to call the on call Mortuary Technician.

7. Collecting property and valuables When you collect the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death from the Bereavement Team you should also collect from the ward any property and valuables that have been held for safekeeping. You will need to sign for these so a member of the ward staff may need to seek authorisation if you are not the next-of-kin/executor.

8. Hospital Post-Mortem The hospital doctor issuing the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death may ask you to consider a Hospital Post-Mortem. They will discuss this with you and explain the reasons why. Please note that only certain family members can sign the consent form to allow this to take place. A Hospital Post-Mortem does not normally delay funeral arrangements and registration of death can still take place.

9. Registering the death Once the Medical Examiner has released the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death the Bereavement Team will be able to make an appointment for you at the Register Office. You may book your own appointment at the Register Office but please wait until we advise you to go ahead. In order to register the death you must be either a relative of the deceased or the person making the funeral arrangements. You may wish to take someone along to support you whilst making the arrangements. You may now register anywhere in Devon except Torbay or Plymouth as they are in separate unitary authorities and have their own registration services. A Registrar will talk to you in private about the person who has died and you will need to know the following information: • The full names and surname (correctly spelt) and the maiden surname if the deceased is a woman who had married • Their date and place of death • Their date and place of birth (it may be helpful to take their Birth Certificate) • Their date and place of marriage (if they were married, it may be helpful to take their Marriage Certificate)

• Their previous occupation (and if the deceased was a married woman or a widow, the name and occupation of her husband) • Their usual address • Whether they received a pension or allowance from public funds • The date of birth of a surviving widow or widower if the deceased was married • Their NHS (medical) card if available. This information is entered into the register and the person registering the death must sign this with their usual signature, using special registrar’s ink. You will be required to read the entry so please make sure you have your reading glasses if you use them. The Registrar offers a “Tell Us Once” service which alerts other government agencies to a death. You will then be given a certificate for burial or cremation (‘green form’). This is for your funeral director and authorises them to make arrangements on your behalf. You will need to get copies of the death certificate for a number of official purposes. We cannot say how many you will need as individual circumstances vary, but as examples you may need copies for such things as insurance, premium bonds, bank accounts and private pensions. There is a fee for providing copies of the death certificate: please ask us for advice of the current charges. Please note that there is no free copy of the certificate. 12

People you may need to notify: Legal/Financial q q

Bank/Building Society Solicitor

q q

Insurance companies Credit card companies

q q

Employer Trade Union

q q q q q

Vehicle Licensing Council Offices Cancel appointments Clubs/Associations Royal Mail deliveries

Employment/Pension q q q

Dept of Work & Pensions Social Security office Inland Revenue

Domestic & Personal q q q q q

TV Licensing Gas/Electricity/Water Newspaper/Milkman Telephone company Rental companies

Items that may need returning: q q q q

Pensions/Benefits books Driving Licence NHS equipment on loan Store cards/loyalty cards

q Passport q National Insurance card q Library cards/season tickets

10. Other help available As part of the Trust’s commitment to continuous improvement, we invite you to provide your views on the quality of care that your loved one received during their time with us. We are always happy to hear about experiences that have exceeded the expectations of patients and loved ones. We are also very keen to learn when we could have done better to meet the needs of our patients. Where you wish thanks or praise to be passed on, we will ensure that happens. If you have concerns, we will look into the matter for you, include you in the review process and then share the outcome with you. You will have the opportunity to discuss any issues that you would like to raise with the Medical Examiner, who will contact you in the days following the death of your loved one (see p5), and they will advise you how to take things further if you should wish. Alternatively, you may make contact, • Face to face: Patient Advice & Liaison Service (PALS) at the main hospital entrance weekdays between 9.30am-4.30pm (no appointment required) • By telephone: the Bereavement team on 01392 402349 or the Patient Advice & Liaison Service (PALS) are contactable on 01392 402093 weekdays between 9.30am-4.30pm • Online: via the ‘Get in Touch’ button on the Trust website www.rdehospital.nhs.uk

The Hospital Chaplaincy is a team of experienced Chaplains and volunteers drawn from a range of religious and belief traditions. For details of our Chaplaincy service please call 01392 402024 or call the hospital switchboard on 01392 411611 and ask them to contact the Chaplaincy. You can leave a message at the Chaplaincy Office next to the Hospital Chapel, Level 2, Area E, RD&E Hospital (Wonford). You can also ask your own Pastor, Minister, Priest or other religious or spiritual leader to contact them on your behalf. You may wish to contact other services and organisations such as those listed below for ongoing help and support following your bereavement: • Age UK Exeter 01392 202092 Support older people throughout Exeter. www.ageuk.org.uk/exeter • Stop Mail 0808 168 9607 A service developed by the Bereavement Support Network to help families stop junk mail being sent to the recently bereaved. www.stopmail.co.uk • Care Direct 0345 1551 007 • Carers UK 0808 808 7777 Advice and support for carers, including in bereavement. www.carersuk.org • Citizens Advice Bureau 03444 111444 www.citizensadvice.org.uk

• CRUSE Bereavement Care 0808 808 1677 Support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies. www.cruse.org.uk • Compassionate Friends 0345 123 2304 Support and care for bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age. www.tcf.org.uk • Devon Carers 0345 643 4435 If you care, have cared or be now need to care for someone, Devon Carers are here to help. www.devon.gov.uk/care-and-health/carers • Pete’s Dragons 01395 277780 Suicide Bereavement support for those left behind. Email: hq@petesdragons.org.uk • Samaritans 116 123 Available day or night, 365 days a year. www.samaritans.org • SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) 0808 164 3332 Sands provides bereavement support services for families who are recently bereaved through stillbirth and neonatal death. www.sands.org.uk • Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide 0300 111 5065 Available 9am – 9pm Monday to Friday. • Brake 0808 800 0401 Supporting families and friends who are bereaved due to a roads accident. www.brake.org.uk 16

• Winston’s Wish 08088 020 021 Support for children and young people after the death of a parent or sibling. www.winstonswish.org

11. Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the Bereavement Team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.

Whilst the Trust is grateful for the support of companies advertising, we stress that any inclusion of any advertisement in this booklet does not imply approval or recommendation of the advertisers by the Trust, nor does the Trust necessarily support the product advertised. Booklet ref: TW/05 002 004 Review date: November 2023 Publication date: November 2021

The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from local services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

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,�port network stopping mail

STOPPING JUNK MAIL It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be

insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting

www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information

with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed

identity and you will only have to supply the information once.

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