Royal Preston Hospital Bereavement Booklet

A difficult time. We can help you

First steps

(Please note that the whole process can take a few working days, and longer, if a coroner is involved)

Contact the Bereavement Centre the next working day before 12pm on 01772 522258

You may be contacted by a Medical Examiner Officer to discuss the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. Medical Examiner: 01772 528184

You may receive a call from the Medical Examiner to discuss any questions or concerns you may have

Once you have been to the Register Office, instruct the Funeral Director and give them the Green Cremation/ Burial Form issued by the Register Office

OPTIONAL: Contact your Funeral Director (if you are using one) to make arrangements for the funeral. (please note the Funeral Director will not be able to finalise funeral plans until the death has been registered)

Introduction

At this time of sadness we express to you our sympathy and are here to offer our support.

When someone we know dies it can be overwhelming for those who need to organise and make decisions regarding what happens next. It can be very difficult to retain information during a time of distress, so this booklet has been designed to offer you practical information and advice.

We hope you find this booklet useful as you begin to think about and make arrangements for the coming weeks.

“Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity; the price you pay for love”

– Earl A Grollman

The Bereavement and Donation Team

In the days following the death of your loved one a member of the Bereavement and Donation Team will contact you. All team members will be able to answer any questions you may have and will offer you practical advice and support. The Bereavement and Donation Team will:

• Talk to you about the practical steps over the coming days

• Talk to you about support for you and your loved ones following a bereavement

• Provide you with information regarding Tissue Donation

• Offer the option to receive keepsakes to remember your loved one by

• Answer any questions you may have at that time

The Bereavement and Donation clinical team are available every day between 9am and 4pm. If you have any unanswered questions or concerns, wish to discuss the next steps to take, or would like to know more about the support in your local area, please contact the team on 01772 523730.

Practical information

The following section contains practical information for you to follow over the coming days.

Essential information

A member of staff will keep you updated regarding progress of the Medical Certificate and guide you through the registration process.

Bereavement Centre & General Office opening times:

Monday - Friday 9am - 4pm (Excluding Bank Holidays)

General Office Chorley Hospital is open 9am - 3pm on a Friday.

During the phone call to the Bereavement Centre you will be asked the following questions….

• Are you planning to have a burial or cremation?

• Do you know which Funeral Director you plan to use?

• What was the last occupation of the deceased?

Personal belongings

Any property still remaining at the hospital may be collected from the ward.

Car parking spaces are available next to the Bereavement Centre. Upon entering the hospital grounds by car please follow the one way system past the Sharoe Green Unit. The Bereavement Centre is on the right.

DIRECTIONS BY CAR   Indicates the driving direction

The Coroner’s role

In some circumstances it will not be possible for a hospital doctor to issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. There are many reasons why this cannot be done, if you would like more information the doctor/Bereavement Team Member will be able to discuss this with you.

In these circumstances the hospital will inform the Coroner’s Office. The Coroner may by law order a post mortem examination without obtaining permission from the relatives, in order that the cause of death can be ascertained. The Coroner then takes responsibility for the issue of the certificate. Throughout this process a Coroner’s Officer will keep in contact with you to inform you of what is happening and why. Here at Lancashire Teaching Hospitals, post mortem examinations ordered by the Coroner are routinely carried out using a CT scanner. There are circumstances when this may not be possible; if this is the case the Coroner’s Officer will explain to you the reasons why a CT scan cannot be carried out.

The Coroner’s telephone number is 01772 524740

Consented Post Mortem

There are occasions when the doctor who has written the certificate may request permission for a post mortem examination in order to assist in the treatment of other patients in the future. They will, of course, give you every opportunity to discuss this further. Your permission will be required for this type of post mortem. These post mortems cannot be carried out by CT scan. If you would like to arrange a CT post mortem scan you may do so privately, and there will be a cost incurred with this.

The Medical Examiners role

A Medical Examiner is a senior consultant working independently in the hospital to ensure that the information written on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is accurate, and that referrals to the Coroner’s Office are done quickly and appropriately to avoid causing you any unnecessary delays.

Over the coming days, you may receive a call from the Medical Examiner. During this call the Medical Examiner will discuss any questions you may have to help you understand the cause of death. You will also be given the opportunity to ask further questions if you wish. You will be asked if you or any members of your family have concerns about the care that your loved one received during their stay in hospital and will be able to use this opportunity to discuss your concerns. Although the Medical Examiner may not be able to answer all of your questions immediately, they will advise you regarding sources of additional support or information.

If you have raised concerns whilst talking to a member of the Bereavement & Donation Team, these will be passed on to the Medical Examiner, who may then be in touch with you.

Spiritual, Religious, Cultural needs

The Hospital Chaplaincy Team support people of all faiths, including those that do not profess a faith. At any time of the day or night, there are religious and spiritual leaders on call to assist you to address any needs you may have. If you have any specific requirements, please speak to a member of the nursing staff, who will inform an appropriate person to attend to your loved one.

Tissue donation

Many kinds of tissue can be donated after death, including skin, tendons, bone, heart valves and eyes to help repair or rebuild the lives of thousands of people affected by disease, injury or birth defects. One multi-tissue donor may be able to help enhance the lives of up to 50 people. The majority of adults and children can donate. Further information regarding tissue donation can be found in the Tissue Donation leaflet in your folder.

You may receive a call from a Specialist Nurse from the National Referral Centre to offer more information and support regarding Tissue Donation if this is something that your loved one is able to do.

You may also wish to call the National Referral Centre to express your wish to donate. To contact the Centre please call 0800 432 0559 and leave a voicemail message. Every day between the hours of 8am and 8pm a nurse will be available to respond to your message and offer you advice.

Regardless of eligibility, the Bereavement & Donation Team will contact you within 24-48 hours to offer advice and support to help you understand your emotional and physical reactions following your loss.

If you would like any further information regarding tissue donation, please contact the Bereavement & Donation Team on 01772 523730.

Registering a death

Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been issued, you need to make an appointment with the Registrar of Births & Deaths in order that the death can be formally registered.

To book an appointment please use “Register a death” on the Lancashire County Council website or alternatively call the Registrar on 0300 123 6705. You can register a death that took place in Lancashire at any Lancashire County Council Registration Office.

The death must be registered within five working days.

The Registrar’s Office is open Monday to Friday 9am until 4.30pm and is located at:

The Registrar of Births and Deaths

Preston Registration Office

Lancashire Rose Suite, Bow Lane

Preston, PR1 8SE

The Registrar of Births and Deaths

Chorley Registration Office

Devonshire House, Devonshire Road, Chorley, PR7 2BY

Please note that the offices are closed on Bank Holidays

Registrar’s Telephone: 0300 123 6705

If English is not your first language you may ask a friend or relative to go with you to act as an interpreter. If you need us to provide an interpreter there will be a non-refundable charge of £80 (this service is provided by Lancashire County Council). If you require a British Sign Language interpreter during your appointment this can also be arranged through the same service.

If the death has been reported to a Coroner you can’t register the death until the Coroner gives permission.

Who can register a death?

The majority of deaths are registered by a relative of the deceased. For registration purposes a relative is defined to be the nearest relative of the deceased and that person will always take priority. If there is no living relative the informant can be someone from the list below. The lists are in order of preference:

1. A relative of the deceased

2. Surviving civil partner

3. Someone present at the death

4. The occupier of the house or hospital if he or she knew of the death

5. Another person living at the house if he or she knew of the death

6. The person making the arrangements with the Funeral Directors

You will need to provide the following documents:

• The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death from the doctor who was treating the deceased

• The deceased’s medical card, if available

It would be useful if you could also bring one of the following supporting documents relating to the deceased, Passport/Utility Bill/Driving Licence/Marriage or Civil Partnership Certificate. You can however still register a death without any of these.

You will be asked to give the following information:

1. Date and place of death

2. Name and surname of the deceased

3. Maiden surname (if applicable)

4. Date and place of birth

5. Occupation

6. Name and occupation of partner, if the deceased was a married woman or widow

7. Address

8. Whether the deceased was in receipt of a pension or allowance from public funds

9. The date of birth of the surviving widow or widower (if married)

Certificate for burial or cremation

After you register a death in the majority of cases the Registrar will issue a certificate for the burial or cremation of the body.

If you are making the funeral arrangements you will need to give this certificate to the Funeral Director. They will hand it to the burial authority or the crematorium in due course.

A funeral cannot proceed until this certificate is given to the burial authority or the crematorium.

If there is a delay to the registration of a death, the Registrar can still issue a certificate for burial before registration but only if the death does not need to be reported to the Coroner.

However the Registrar won’t be able to issue a certificate for cremation before the registration of the death.

If a death has been reported to the Coroner, he or she may issue a certificate for burial or cremation where possible.

When a child dies

When a child dies

The death of your child can trigger a particularly difficult kind of grief. There is no “normal” or “right” way to feel; most people will experience a very wide range of emotions.

Please contact the Bereavement and Donation Team on 01772 523730 if you would like to speak to a member of staff for support. They will be able to talk to you about your feelings, give you advice about breaking news to relatives and friends, explore your support network and make you aware of support in your local area.

Please see the “Help is available” section of this booklet if you would like to know more about bereavement support readily available.

Necessary steps

If your child’s death was unexpected, or if there are any concerns about the circumstances leading up to their death, a detailed review will be undertaken by the hospital. During this time you will be introduced to a Sudden and Unexpected Death in Childhood (SUDC) Specialist Nurse. This nurse is here to guide and support you through the review process.

The review will be led by a senior healthcare professional and will involve a review of your child’s medical history as well as additional information from staff that cared for your child.

The review will seek to understand what happened and try to learn lessons for the care of future patients. When there is a review of this type, you will be able to ask questions which will be included in the investigation, raise any concerns, or give any information that might be relevant.

Child death review process

It is a statutory requirement that all deaths of children are reviewed by a panel of healthcare professionals set up by the Local Safeguarding Children’s Board.

If you would like more information

It is important for you to understand why your child has died. Even if their death was expected, you may want to ask for more information, either immediately or after you have had time to look back. If you wish, we can arrange a meeting between you and a clinician involved in caring for your child, when you feel ready, so that you can ask any questions that you may have.

Advice and support

There is no right or wrong way to experience a loss; many people experience a wide range of feelings, over different periods of time. Please know that you can call the Bereavement and Donation Team on 01772 523730 and a team member will talk to you about support that is available for you in your area.

What happens next?

The next days

Your loved one will be transferred to the hospital mortuary, where they will be cared for by a number of trained mortuary technicians. This will be done within four hours of your loved one’s death, so that they are cared for by the right people, at the right time.

Visiting your loved one

During your loved one’s stay in the Hospital Mortuary, you may wish to visit them. It is completely up to you whether or not you wish to visit your loved one whilst in the Hospital Mortuary, please call the Mortuary Team on 01772 523562 if you would like to see your loved one and a team member will arrange this meeting for you. When you visit your loved one a member of staff will accompany you to answer any questions you may have and support you through the visit.

The Hospital Mortuary is a busy environment and often viewing times are limited, however you will also be given the opportunity to visit your loved one once their care has been taken over by the funeral service. If you wish to wait until your loved one has been transferred you can contact the funeral home to arrange a visit with them.

Keepsakes to remember your loved one by

When a member of the Bereavement and Donation Team speaks to you, they will offer you the opportunity to collect keepsakes in memory of your loved one. Whilst your loved one is being cared for by the Hospital Mortuary it is possible for the Bereavement and Donation Team to collect these keepsakes for you, so you do not have to make a decision straight away. Please call 01772 523730 if you would like any keepsakes.

Locks of hair

It may be possible to gather a lock of your loved one’s hair. The Bereavement and Donation Team will do this in a way that does not alter your loved one’s appearance. Please note that if your loved one did not have a lot of hair the team members will not be able to obtain a hair lock for you, but if this is the case they will call you and discuss alternative options.

Handprints and fingerprints

The Bereavement and Donation Team will offer you a finger or thumbprint of your loved one. If you would like the team to gather a full handprint for you please let the team members know. Occasionally it is not always possible to obtain an accurate handprint, in which case the team will contact you to discuss alternative options.

Person specific keepsakes

If you have a personal request for a keepsake to remember your loved one by then please discuss this with the Bereavement and Donation Team on 01772 523730. Bereavement is a very personal and individual experience, any request for a keepsake beyond those previously mentioned can be discussed with the Bereavement and Donation Team. We will always try our best to fulfil your wishes where possible.

Talking about death

Every person’s experience of grief is unique. You may be feeling a very wide range of emotions, and may wonder “Is what I’m feeling normal?”, “When will I feel better?”, “How can I cope?”. This is a very natural thing to ask, and there is no ‘right’ way to feel, and no set time frame to process your feelings.

Talking to your friends and family can help you to begin to understand your feelings. Here in the Bereavement and Donation Team staff members will also be happy to talk to you about how you feel, and will offer you advice and make you aware of support that is readily available in your local area.

Children and grief

For adults grief can feel like wading through a river of emotions or getting stuck in the middle of a wide sea of grieving. For children, grieving can seem more like jumping in and out of pools of grief. One minute they may feel extremely distressed, the next they may feel okay. This does not mean they care less about what has happened.

Our urge to protect our children from painful things in life can make talking to your child about the death of someone close seem like the most difficult thing you have ever had to do. Yet talking about the person who has died, offering information and sharing stories and feelings can be the most important thing you do to help your children with their grief.

When and where should I tell them?

Tell them as soon as possible. It may be very difficult to have this conversation, however the longer you leave it, the greater the likelihood is that they may overhear a conversation or find out in an inappropriate way. Children are often sensitive to the atmosphere and may already know something serious has happened.

The news is best heard from a person the child trusts, often a family member. If you feel unable to break the news yourself, stay with your child as they are told, they may want your support and comfort, and in turn may support and comfort you.

If you are breaking the news, make sure that you have someone to support you. It is best to break the news in a quiet place where you are not likely to be disturbed; this will give both you and your child the freedom to talk openly and share feelings and stories without fear of being interrupted. Try to use plain language, with words such as “death”, “died” and “dying”. Words such as “lost”, “gone”, or “passed away” can often be confusing for younger children.

If your child asks any questions, it may be helpful to ask them “what do you think?” and give them time to answer before elaborating. They are more likely to understand your answer if you allow them to express what they think and how they are feeling. Often, if they have asked a question, they are ready to hear an answer.

Try to answer only the question asked and avoid giving extra information as this may overload your child and they may struggle to understand what they are being told. If your child wishes to go away and think about something before asking questions, allow them this time; everybody processes their feelings and emotions at different speeds, there is no time frame when learning to deal with your grief.

If you would like support on speaking to your children about their bereavement, please do not hesitate to contact the Bereavement and Donation Team on 01772 523730 and a team member will offer you advice and resources to help you cope with this difficult time.

Help is available

Who can I turn to?

No one needs to go through bereavement alone. Whilst you may have family and friends to support you, sometimes you may feel like you would like to speak to somebody impartial, removed from your support network, for advice. The Bereavement and Donation Team are available between 9am and 4pm every day, please call on 01772 523730. There is no cut off time for you to call for advice; you may feel that you need support days, weeks, months or years after your bereavement.

The Chaplaincy Team

The Chaplaincy Team offer friendly support to those who have been bereaved at Royal Preston and Chorley District Hospitals. Support is available for people of all faiths, and to those who express no faith at all.

Since no two people experience loss in the same way, there is no way of knowing how this will affect us, or how long it will last. Grief is a natural healing response to bereavement, but this may cause very powerful feelings that are often difficult to understand. Bereavement may also encompass changes as we adjust to our future without someone who has meant so much to us.

The Chaplaincy Team offer the opportunity to talk though the effects of your bereavement with a professional who can listen without being overwhelmed by your feelings. A Chaplain can speak to you over the phone, can visit you in your home, or can meet you at Preston or Chorley Hospital.

Sometimes it can be difficult to talk through our feelings and everybody chooses to do this in their own ways.

The Chaplaincy Team can also offer help and support with planning and conducting the funeral, as well as putting you in touch with other appropriate faith and belief group representatives.

You are most welcome to contact the Chaplaincy Team by telephoning 01772 522350 should you wish to talk, arrange a visit, or require information relating to your bereavement.

Bereavement support

There are several organisations both locally and nationally who provide bereavement support. Provided on the following pages are contact details for these groups, however if you would like further information on support that is local to your area you can contact the Bereavement and Donation Team by telephoning 01772 523730 and enquiring about support in your local area.

Bereavement Support Groups

Open to all bereaved adults, not just those known to St Catherine’s Hospice

St Catherine’s Hospice, Lostock Lane, Lostock Hall, Preston, PR5 5XU Bereavement Support Group

The second Wednesday of each month from 1.30pm - 3pm, or the third Thursday of each month from 6pm -7pm

Contact the Support Team on 01772 629171 or email supportteam@stcatherines.co.uk for more information.

Child Bereavement UK

Please phone the helpline 0800 028 8840

Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Email helpline@childbereavementuk.org

Or visit the website

www.childbereavementuk.org for local bereavement support groups available

Cancerhelp

Open to all bereaved adults 18+,

1st Tuesday in each month 1.30pm-3.30pm

Contact Cancerhelp on 01772 793344

Vine House, 22 Cromwell Road, Ribbleton, Preston PR2 6YB

Or

1st Wednesday in each month

10am–12pm

Contact Cancerhelp on 01995 606469

Croston House, 113 Croston Road, Garstang PR3 1HQ

STRIDE

Childrens and Young Peoples Service

Pre/post bereavement support

Support 5-19yrs of age – offers 1-1 support for children and young people, who have suffered a bereavement, plus parental support/advice.

Contact number: 01772 793344

Email: info@cancerhelppreston.co.uk

Vine House, 22 Cromwell Road, Ribbleton, Preston PR2 6YB

Derian Hospice

Bereavement support groups for parents, siblings, grandparents.

Available for those children/young people and families who have been referred into and access Derian House.

Contact family support on 01257 233300 for more information.

Healthier Lancashire and South Cumbria

Local bereavement information, resources and support for people of suicide loss

Please go via the website for local support available

www.healthierlsc.co.uk/suicide/bereaved

Hub Of Hope

www.hubofhope.co.uk

National Mental Health database which brings together organisations and charities large and small, from across the country who offer mental health advice and support including bereavement support.

CRUSE

Offers support, advice and information to children, young people and adults

bereavement Support: 0808 808 1677

Preston - 01772 433645 or email

lancashire@cruse.org.uk

Please visit the website for local support at www.cruse.org.uk

Winston’s Wish Childhood Bereavement charity

Please phone 08088 020021

Mon- Fri 8am-8pm, Email ask@winstonswish.org or visit the website www.winstonswish.org.uk for local bereavement support groups.

Stopping junk mail to the recently deceased

If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced, helping to stop painful daily reminders.

By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased will be removed from mailing lists, which will stop most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.

If you cannot access the internet, you can telephone 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will only take a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask a member of the Bereavement and Donation Team for a leaflet, which can be completed and sent by freepost.

This service will actively reduce unwanted marketing mail, and can also help to reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of your loved one. The information that you provide is used solely to stop unwanted junk mail and you will only need to use this service once.

Alternatively, a comparable service can be accessed by registering with the Deceased Preference Service, available at www.deceasedpreferenceservice.co.uk, or by telephoning 0800 068 4433.

Reference: Royal Preston Hospital

Publication date: March 2024

Review date: March 2026

The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.

Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.