Talking to children about death

Talking to children about death

As adults we feel the need to protect children from things that we might find difficult. It is easy to assume children will not understand death and bereavement or that it will be too upsetting.

However, we can often under estimate a child’s ability to cope. Like adults, children can find it harder to cope if they are not told what is happening and can be more frightened by their own imagination.

It is helpful for adults to share their feelings, such as sadness, with children. By doing so, they learn that it is natural to feel sad when someone dies. Children often like to draw pictures, write stories or play as part of their way of saying goodbye.

Perhaps consider allowing them the opportunity to be involved in and/or attend the funeral.

Children should be told the facts in a simple manner, using appropriate words, eg dead, rather than lost or asleep.

Encouraging children to ask questions and continuing with their routines will help them to feel involved and secure. It is advised to inform their school of what is happening and to share any concerns about your child.