What to do when someone dies
Practical advice and information
Bereavement Support at St Joseph’s Hospice
All of us at St Joseph’s Hospice would like to express our sympathy to you, and your family and friends, following the loss of your loved one.
The death of someone close can be one of the most distressing experiences anyone has to face. Decisions need to be made at a time when you may have confusing thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is so easy to become overwhelmed and we hope that this booklet will help to make things a little clearer and easier for you by outlining what needs to be done, and when.
If you have questions about any aspect of bereavement that haven’t been answered in this booklet, you need additional support, or you would just like to reach out and talk to someone about what you are experiencing, please contact our family support worker who will be more than pleased to help you.
0151 932 6032 / 0151 924 3812
Office hours: Monday/Tuesday 11am – 7pm, Wednesday/Thursday 10am – 6pm and Friday 9am – 5pm
(If calling outside of these hours, please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon possible).
What happens immediately after someone has died at the hospice?
You do not have to do anything straight away, except spend as much time as you need with your loved one.
When you are ready, the nursing staff will ask you for the name of your chosen funeral director so that they can contact them to arrange to collect your loved one. They will also ask whether your loved one is to be buried or cremated.
The hospice staff will inform the GP, district nurse, any specialist teams and/or social worker.
The hospice nursing staff will ask you to gather your loved one’s personal possessions together and take them safely home. Our staff will be happy to help you with this.
Once the registrar has received the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) from the hospice, they will contact you within a couple of days to make an appointment with you to register the death. There may be a delay if the death needs to be reported to H M Coroner’s Office (see page 2).
Registering the death
When your loved one dies, the hospice GP will sign the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) and they will send a copy of it to the local registrar at Waterloo Register Office.
The registrar will then contact you directly to book an appointment for you to collect the death certificate from them. A death must be registered within 5 working days unless it has been reported to HM Coroner.
It can be helpful to ask for a number of copies of the death certificate to send to relevant organisations not covered by the Tell us Once service (see page 9).
For more details on where and how to register the death, see pages 3-4.
Please note: A death cannot be registered without the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death being completed.
What happens if HM Coroner is involved?
In some circumstances, the death may, by law, have to be referred to the coroner. This could happen when the cause of death is unclear or where there is concern about the potential of a work-related disease being involved.
Although a referral may have been made, after reviewing the situation, the coroner may give permission for the doctor to issue the medical certificate.
If the cause of death is unknown, or the coroner feels that further investigation is necessary, the coroner’s staff will keep you informed and will support you.
Where to register a death
Death registration appointments will take place at Waterloo Register Office.
Waterloo Register Office
Southport
Crosby Town Hall, Great Georges Road Waterloo L22 1RB 0151 934 3044
Monday - Friday 9.15am to 4pm www.sefton.gov.uk/births-marriages-and-deaths/register-a-birth
Waterloo Register Office
Crosby Town Hall, Great Georges Road Waterloo L22 1RB
Below is some useful information that you will need to know to complete the registration.
Who can register a death?
• A relative of the deceased
• Someone present at the death
• The person making the funeral arrangements (not the funeral director)
Please note, if English is not your first language you may prefer to take someone with you to help.
What needs to be taken to register a death?
• Date and place of death
• Full name and surname of the deceased
• Date and place of birth
• Occupation (even if retired)
• Usual address
• The full name, date of birth and occupation of their spouse or civil partner (if applicable)
During the death registration appointment, the registrar will go through the information with you, and you will need to carefully check all spellings of names before you sign the registration and the certificate is produced.
If you are unable to register the death in Sefton: You can register the death with an alternative registration office.
Further details will be available on the council website and via the government website: www.gov.uk/register-a-death.
Arranging the funeral
You do not have to wait until the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) has been issued to make contact with a funeral director.
It is important for you to decide which funeral director you would like to oversee the care of the person that has died as soon as you are able to after the death.
Your chosen funeral director will advise you of the options and discuss with you the arrangements you wish to make.
You may also wish to discuss funeral arrangements with your relatives and friends, or your religious faith leader, to provide you with support.
If the death has been reported to H M Coroner, you should not set a date for the funeral until you have received the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, or until H M Coroner has indicated that you may do so.
The documents required for the person to be cremated are different to those required when the person will be buried. Once you have provided this information to the hospice, the paperwork will be completed and we will contact the funeral director of your choice.
With your consent we will also pass on your details to enable the funeral director to make contact with you. The funeral director will be an invaluable source of information and support regarding all aspects of funeral care.
Paying for the funeral
If you are organising a funeral, you should ensure that you have the funds to pay for it.
If you are finding it difficult to pay for a funeral that you have to arrange, you may be entitled to receive a Social Fund Funeral payment from the Department for Work and Pensions, providing you or your partner receive Income Support or other meanstested benefits.
Financial advice
The funeral director will be able to provide some guidance if you have concerns regarding funeral costs.
For further information, see www.gov.uk/government/ organisations/department-for-work-pension
Bereavement benefits
You may be able to claim some benefits, depending on their National Insurance contributions and age, such as:
Bereavement Support Payment
If your wife, husband or civil partner has died. www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment/how-to-claim
Guardian Allowance
If you are bringing up a child whose parent has died. www.gov.uk/guardians-allowance/how-to-claim
Funeral Expenses Payment
If you are in receipt of other benefits. www.gov.uk/funeral-payments
Some benefits have time limits for claiming, so it is best to make enquiries as soon as you are able, but it can be confusing and may seem like a huge task when you are grieving.
If you need to, or you don’t have online access, please contact our family support worker on 0151 932 6032 who will help you as much as possible.
You will probably want to let family, friends and neighbours know of the death right away. There are several other people and organisations who may also need to know including:
Government organisations e.g. HM Revenue & Customs, DVLA (see Tell us Once service on page 9)
Family Doctor, Dentist and Optician
Banks, credit card companies, building societies where accounts were held
Social Services (home help, home care)
Mortgage Provider or Landlord
Employer and Pension Providers
Solicitor/Executors of the Estate (Wills)
Schools, Colleges or University attended Insurance companies (life/car policies etc.)
Utility companies, e.g. electricity, gas, telephone, water rates etc.
Clubs and membership bodies
Post Office (for redirecting mail) and www.stopmail.org.uk (see page 10)
Tell us Once
When someone has died, there are lots of things that need to be done, at a time when you probably least feel like doing them. This will include contacting Government departments and local council services that need to be informed.
Tell us Once is a free government service that allows you to report a death and tell central and local government.
The organisations that are told through this service will trust that the death has already been legally registered, and you will not have to show them the death certificate. The information will be used to update records, end services and benefits, and to resolve any outstanding issues.
The registrar will give you a unique reference number for the Tell us Once service. You can then complete it either online at www.gov.uk/tell-us-once or call 0800 085 7308.
If you cannot use the Tell Us Once service, you will need to contact each organisation individually, depending on your loved one’s circumstances. These may include:
Organisation
HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC)
National Insurance Contributions Office
Child Benefit Office
Tax Credit Office
Department for Work and Pensions
Armed Forces Pensions
Driver & Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA)
HM Passport Office
Stopping junk mail
When someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service at www.stopmail.org.uk, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.
If you cannot access the internet, you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete.
This free service, provided by the Bereavement Support Network, will not only actively reduce unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close.
The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. In addition to Stop Mail, a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service.
Items that will need to be returned:
Medication is the responsibility of the carer or family and will need to be returned to a local pharmacy for disposal.
Done
Pension/Benefit books
Driving Licence
Passport
NHS/Hospice equipment on loan
Drugs and medication to your local hospital/pharmacy
National Insurance card
Experiencing Grief
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Your relationship with your loved one is unique and so your grief may be different to someone else’s, even to that of your own close family members.
You may feel shock, numbness, disbelief. You may experience overwhelming sadness, intense questioning, and frightening anxiety. You may feel guilt and anger or you may feel relief and freedom, and you may feel these at different times to those around you.
Grief can be isolating and also exhausting, even when you’re surrounded by family and friends. You may not be able to sleep, or you may need more sleep. You may need to eat more, or you may not feel like eating very much.
You may feel confused, overwhelmed and unable to concentrate at times. You may also not be able to focus on tasks and may feel unable to ask for help because your family are grieving too.
Understanding your emotions, thoughts and feelings can be scary, painful and difficult, and it is sometimes easier to ignore them, carry on as normal or bury them deep inside. It is especially hard because the one person you may want to talk to is no longer with you. Finding someone you trust can be beneficial in expressing how you are feeling and what you are thinking, and we would encourage you to talk to a trusted family member or friend.
Alternatively, you may prefer to speak to someone outside of your family and friends circle, someone who has no connection to you or your loved one.
At St Joseph’s Hospice, we offer a limited number of one to one emotional support sessions in a private room at the hospice, giving you a completely confidential space for you to speak about your loss.
Although we cannot provide individual support for children, we can provide you with written information or signpost you to organisations that can.
Contact our family support worker on 0151 932 6032 if you feel you need support.
Remembering your loved one…
Adopt a Tree
We have 12 acres of beautiful, peaceful woodland right here at St. Joseph’s Hospice and we invite you to adopt a tree in their memory and to celebrate the life of your loved one.
If you would like to adopt a tree, please feel free to explore the grounds at your leisure and find a tree that is right for you. Then just pop in and visit the fundraising team in the coach house to finalise the details.
Every family who adopts a tree will receive a wooden heart to attach to the tree with a personalised message to celebrate the life being remembered.
Celebration of Life
Each quarter, we celebrate the life of your loved one with you using poetry, music and prayer. The names of the people being remembered and celebrated are read out during the service.
You will receive your own wooden rose with a dedication to your loved one. All of the roses are planted together in our special Rose to Remember garden at the hospice. At the end of the summer, you will be invited back to the hospice to view all the roses and enjoy afternoon tea on the hospice lawn.
A Rose To Remember
By taking part in A Rose to Remember, you can pay tribute to and remember your loved one during the summer months, which may hold special significance for you. It is also a lovely way to support the work of the hospice.
You will receive your own personalised rose with a dedication to your loved one. All of the roses are planted together in our special Rose to Remember garden at the hospice. At the end of the summer, you will be invited back to the hospice to view all the roses and attend a small service.
Pool of Remembrance
You can dedicate one of the bricks in our beautiful pool of remembrance. Just choose the wording you would like on the brick and we will do the rest. The Pool of Remembrance is a lovely, peaceful place to sit and be with your memories.
Light up a Life
Every December, we invite our local community, staff, and hospice patients and families, to join us for a very special Christmas service where you can dedicate a light on the Christmas tree in memory of your loved one and also leave a message on our tree.
A contrast to what can feel quite hectic in the run up to Christmas, this service is a chance to pause and reflect and remember.
Each light on our tree is dedicated in memory of someone special, so whether you gather with friends and family, or come alone, we will support you during this difficult time of year for many.
Fundraise In Memory
We have many events throughout the year, with many people choosing to take part in memory of a loved one.
From an abseil off Liverpool Cathedral to skydiving, cycling from Liverpool to Chester, or learning to dance in Strictly St Joseph's, there is a challenge for everyone. Alternatively, you can choose to take part in your own challenge which is more personal to you and your loved one.
We will support you every step of the way.
In Memory Donations
You can make in memory donations to the hospice in a variety of ways:
• You can donate through our JustGiving Pagewww.justgiving.com/stjhospice
• You can donate by debit or credit card by calling our fundraising team on 0151 932 6044 / 6046.
• You can send a cheque to St Joseph's Hospice, Ince Road, Thornton, Liverpool L23 4UE.
• You can pop into the hospice with your donation.
If you would like to make your donation a regular gift, you can sign up to our regular giving campaign by making a monthly gift.
We would love to know in whose memory you are sending the gift, what your relationship was to them and your name and address, so we can thank you for your kind donation. A letter detailing the amount contributed will also be sent after the funeral.
How to contact the hospice fundraising team
To make a donation or to find out how you can support the hospice, please contact us at fundraising@stjhospice.org.uk or call us on 0151 932 6044 / 6046.
All our remembrance events are advertised on our Facebook page, on our website at www.stjhospice.org.uk, and in Your Hospice magazine, which can be downloaded from our website. Alternatively, you can join our mailing list to receive a postal copy of our magazine by visiting our website or speaking to a member of our fundraising team. Visit www.stjhospice.org.uk/ contact-us/communication-preferences.
Useful addresses and telephone numbers:
Local Support:
Age UK Mid Mersey
The Mansion House, Victoria Park, St Helens, WA10 2UE
0300 003 1992 www.ageuk.org.uk/midmersey/
Citizens Advice
0800 144 8848
www.citizensadvice.org.uk
Listening Ear Counselling Service 0151 488 6648 enquiries@listening-ear.co.uk
Liverpool Bereavement Service 0151 236 3932 / 07928 890 967 enquiries@liverpoolbereavement.co.uk www.liverpoolbereavement.com
Liverpool Council 0151 233 3000 www.liverpool.gov.uk
Sefton Council 0345 140 0845 www.sefton.gov.uk
Waterloo Register Office 0151 934 3044
National Support: Carers Trust
0300 772 9600
www.carers.org
Child Bereavement
Tel: 0800 028 8840 www.childbereavementuk.org
The Compassionate Friends (UK)
Tel: 0345 123 2304
www.tcf.org.uk
Cruse Bereavement Care
Tel: 0808 808 1677 www.cruse.org.uk
Department for Work and Pensions
Tel: 0800 731 0469 www.gov.uk
Macmillan Cancer Support
0808 808 0000 www.macmillan.org.uk
Marie Curie
Tel: 0800 090 2309 www.mariecurie.org.uk
The National Association of Funeral Directors
0121 711 1343 info@nafd.org.uk
Pension Tracking Service www.gov.uk/find-pension-contact-details
The Samaritans
Tel: 116 123 www.samaritans.org
Stopmail 0808 168 9607 www.stopmail.co.uk
Sue Ryder www.sueryder.org/
WAY Widowed and Young www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Young Persons Freephone Helpline
Tel: 0808 808 1677 www.hopeagain.org.uk
Reference: St Jospice's Hospice Bereavement Book
Review date: June 2026
Publication date: June 2024
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
