Winchester Hospice by bereavementadvice

NHS

Hampshire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust

Winchester Hospice Bereavement Book

Winchester Hospice

Winchester Hospice, Romsey Road, Winchester SO22 5DG Hospice Reception/Ward 01962 825344

The Winchester Hospice The death of a loved one is a great loss. It is a very personal experience and everyone reacts to death in different ways. You may feel shocked and numb initially and this will make it hard to absorb any information you are given regarding practical arrangements. This leaflet is designed to answer a few of the usual queries we are asked and will enable you to think about things more clearly at home. When someone dies there are a number of decisions and arrangements to be made. This booklet has been prepared to help you deal with the practical arrangements at this difficult time. We hope you find the information helpful.

Contents What to do when someone dies in the hospice.................................................... 1 What to do when someone dies at home..................................................................... 1 Registering the death.............................................................................................................................. 2 Location map of Register Office................................................................................................ 3 Who may register the death?........................................................................................................ 4 Tell Us Once Service................................................................................................................................. 4 Arranging the funeral................................................................................................................................ 5 Paying for the funeral............................................................................................................................... 5 The Coroner......................................................................................................................................................... 6 The Will...................................................................................................................................................................... 7 Your feelings........................................................................................................................................................ 7 Physical effects............................................................................................................................................... 7 Talking to children......................................................................................................................................... 8 Useful telephone numbers............................................................................................................... 9 Funeral Directors........................................................................................................................................... 10 Items which need returning............................................................................................................. 16 Stopping Junk Mail..................................................................................................................................... 17

What to do when someone dies in the hospice The period of time directly after a death can be very traumatic for a family. We understand that you will be feeling a variety of emotions and even shock and or numbness. These emotions are normal and must not be ignored. At the hospice we will endeavour to help you at this difficult time and often going home and calling us later can sometimes be the best way to allow you time to gather your thoughts and think of any questions you may have for us. Having time to think and clear your head is important. Telephone the Hospice on 01962 825344 at any time to arrange a suitable time to collect the belongings of your relative. In regards to the paperwork, you will need to arrange this with the bereavement office by telephone on 01962 824648, Monday - Friday.

What to do when someone dies at home If a death should occur at home, out of hours, and the person is under the care of the hospice at home team, they can call the hospice to verify the death, the hospice team will then liaise directly with the patient’s own GP to arrange the death certificate. If the death should occur within normal working hours then they should contact their GP who will need to confirm that life has ceased; providing there is no Coroner’s investigation, the GP will issue a medical certificate stating the cause of death. You can collect this from the GP practice. When the death has been certified by a professional, you can telephone a funeral director/undertaker or a religious leader. They will take the body into their care at your request. If you prefer to keep the body at home for cultural or personal reasons until the funeral, they will be able to advise you about this.

Registering the death Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) is complete, a copy will be sent directly to the Registration Office in Winchester. The Bereavement team will advise you when you can book an appointment with the Registrar’s office to register the death and obtain the death certificate, usually within 5 working days. Winchester Registry Office, Ground Floor, Castle Hill, Winchester, SO23 8UH. To make an appointment please phone 0300 555 1392 or online at www.hants.gov.uk/birthsdeathsandceremonies/death. Hours of opening are 8.30am to 5.00pm. The Registrar will require the following information: • The date and place of death • The last (usual) address • The date and place of birth • The first names and surname (maiden name if applicable) • The deceased’s occupation (and the name and occupation of husband/wife if applicable) • Whether the deceased was receiving a pension or allowance from public funds • The date of birth of the surviving spouse (if applicable) The Registrar will give you the following when the death has been registered: • The death certificate • A certificate of registration of death for Social Security purposes. This must accompany any claims for areas of the person’s Social Security payments and will also ensure that the correct benefits are paid to the widow or widower. • A green certificate, which you must give to the Funeral Director to enable him to proceed with the funeral arrangements. There is a fee for the death certificate and any duplicates you require, (e.g. Life Assurance Companies). It will take you about 1 hour to register the death. 2

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Who may register the death? The regulations state that only certain people may register a death. These are: • • • • •

A relative of the deceased who was present at the time of death A relative of the deceased in attendance during the last illness A relative of the deceased residing in the same local district A person present at the time of death A nominated person such as: an executor, solicitor or similar

Tell Us Once Service (Government and Council) When someone has died, there are lots of things that need to be done at a time when you probably least feel like doing them. One of these is contacting government departments and local council services that need to be informed. The Registrar can contact these services if you would like, so please let the Registrar know at your interview. A leaflet detailing this service is included in this bereavement pack. To ensure the right information is given to relevant organisations it will be helpful (but not necessary) if you can provide any of the following details: • The deceased person’s passport, or passport number (if they have one) • The deceased person’s driving licence, or licence number (if they have one) • Deceased person’s National Insurance number • Details of any benefits or services they were receiving, if any • Name of the person dealing with their estate

Arranging the funeral You are free to contact a funeral director of your choice before registration is complete. (See your local telephone directory or refer to the telephone numbers in the back of this booklet). Most funeral directors are available seven days a week. If you wish, they can visit your home and advise you and make all the arrangements necessary in accordance with your wishes. They will collect your relative and lay them to rest at their premises before the funeral takes place. If you would like to see your relative, the undertaker will be able to arrange this at their premises. You can ask for a religious or non-religious funeral and, unless the deceased had indicated their preference, you will also need to decide whether a burial or cremation service is arranged.

Paying for the funeral If you receive benefits, you may be entitled to help with funeral costs. You will need to apply for help and advice to your local Job Centre Plus. Funerals can be expensive but are usually paid for from the assets of the deceased person, but do not be afraid to discuss with the Funeral Directors, ways of reducing costs.

The Coroner In certain circumstances, a person’s death has to be reported to the Coroner. The Coroner is a qualified doctor or lawyer who is responsible for inquiring into the circumstances surrounding a death. If the Coroner requires a post mortem examination he does so as a matter of law and your consent is not required. The Coroner for this area can be contacted on: Tel: 01962 667884 The Coroner may order a post mortem examination in any of the following circumstances and does so without the authority of the next of kin. This should not delay you organising the funeral arrangements. • Sudden and unexpected deaths • Deaths where the cause is unknown and the doctor can not issue a death certificate • Death where the cause is known to be, or suspected to be due to causes other than natural disease (for example; accidents, unexplained injuries, industrial diseases) • Deaths in custody or where a person was held under a section of the Mental Health Act If you have been told that the death has been reported to the Coroner, you will not be issued with a Medical Certificate of the Cause of Death by the hospital. Instead, the Coroner’s Officer ensures that the document is delivered direct to the Registrar. This usually takes several days. You will be able to make an appointment to register the death when the paperwork is with the Registrar. Please ask for a copy of the hospital booklet on Coroner’s Post-Mortem.

The Will It is important that any Will made by the person who has died, is read as soon as possible. It may include their wishes regarding their funeral and should deal with the deceased’s affairs i.e. naming the executor/s. The Will may be held by a Solicitor, or lodged with a Bank, or may be found in the deceased’s home.

Your feelings The death of someone close to you will create strange and often frightening feelings. Everyone’s reaction is different, as is the way people cope with these feelings. Although your experience of grieving is individual to you, most people share some common emotional symptoms. These include: Sadness Despair Guilt

Longing Shock Anger

Numbness Helplessness

You may not feel any of these emotions, or you may find them difficult to identify. What you may experience, at least in the beginning, is a great muddle of different and often contradictory emotions. Sometimes these very uncomfortable feelings can be difficult to acknowledge even to yourself. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with your emotions and you need to do what feels comfortable for you. However in the end the pain of your loss is better faced than avoided.

Physical effects It is not uncommon for people grieving to experience a variety of physical symptoms, such as: Sleeplessness Panic attacks Loss of memory

Inability to concentrate Pain Nausea

Palpitations Tiredness

You may want to talk to your doctor about these symptoms, particularly if they persist. 7

Talking to children As with adults, children’s reactions can vary. These depend on their age, previous experience of death, the circumstances and their relationship with the person who has died. Children seem to go through a shorter period of mourning and move in and out of grieving, one minute crying and the next playing happily. It is helpful for children to be given information by an adult who is emotionally close to the child and as soon as possible, preferably in a private place without interruption. They often need to know it is not their fault someone has died and to be reassured they themselves will continue to be cared for. It can be confusing for young children to hear phrases like “gone to sleep”, “Iost” or “taken away”. Being included and open to discussion helps children to make sense of what is happening rather than using their imagination and worrying more than necessary. Children usually manage to adjust to all the changes associated with bereavement without professional help. However, if you are concerned about them it is a good idea to speak to your doctor or school nurse who will have information about local resources. Your local library may also have a collection of suitable books.

Useful telephone numbers Customer Care Team - provide the Patient and Advice Liaison Service Tel: 01256 486766 or ask any member of NHS staff for a leaflet Age UK - help and advice for older people Tel: 0800 678 1602 Cruse Bereavement Care - a voluntary organisation run to help any bereaved person Tel: 0808 808 1677 Citizens Advice Bureau - for general or legal advice Tel: 0300 330 2183 Eastleigh Bereavement Support Group - Tel: 07707 664702 Job Centre Plus - for advice on benefits Tel: 0800 169 0190 Family Action - social care services to families in need Tel: 020 7254 6251 Gingerbread - support for one-parent families Single parent helpline: 0808 802 0925 The Money Advice Service - for questions regarding life insurance Tel: 0300 500 5000 Website: www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk Samaritans - a 24hr help-line Tel: 116 123 Winchester Bereavement Support Group: The group offers individual befriending for bereaved people and covers a wide area around Winchester, including South Wonston, Sutton Scotney, The Worthys, Alresford, Chandlers Ford and Fair Oak. The group can be contacted on 01962 863626 during normal weekday office hours. 9

Funeral Directors Alresford Richard Steel and Partners

58 West Street, Alresford Tel: 01962 798789

Wessex Funeral Services

24 The Dean, Alresford Tel: 01962 388470

Funeral Directors Alton Area Charles Read and Daughter

13 Turk Street, Alton Tel: 01420 83551

Kemp and Stevens 93 High Street, Alton Tel: 01420 83177

Funeral Directors Andover Area Dunning

2 Church Close, Andover Tel: 01264 848526

Halcrow and Son

6a Bridge Street, Andover Tel: 01264 848943

S. and J. Maddocks

Station Approach, Andover Tel: 01264 355600

The Southern Co-operative

22 London Street, Andover Tel: 01264 334798

Funeral Directors Amesbury Area Gerald W. Burden

37 Church Street, Amesbury Tel: 01980 878461

Funeral Directors Bishopstoke Area Wessex Funeral Services

2a Whalesmead Road, Bishopstoke, Tel: 02380 371677

Alexander and Dry

1 Seal Road, Basingstoke Tel: 01256 809537

Stowells

Downland Court, Worting Road, Basingstoke Tel: 01256 809530

Funeral Directors Bassett Area Paul Capper

357 Winchester Road, Bassett Tel: 02380 981410

Funeral Directors Bitterne Area Co-op Funeralcare

15 Manor Farm Road, Bitterne Park Tel: 023 8067 1990

R. C. Payne & Sons

485 Bitterne Road East, Bitterne Tel: 02380 983857

Jonathan Terry

101 Peartree Avenue, Bitterne Tel: 02380 434444

Funeral Directors Bishops Waltham Area Nigel Chamberlain The Gate House, Victoria Road, and Partners Bishops Waltham Tel: 01489 892640 Richard Steel and Partners

Victoria Road, Bishop’s Waltham Tel: 01489 892640

The Southern Co-operative

24 High Street, St George’s Square, Bishops Waltham Tel: 01489 896305

Funeral Directors Chandlers Ford Area Co-op Funeralcare

2 Brownhill Road, Chandlers Ford, Tel: 02380 274672 11

W G Bush

163 Hursley Road, Chandlers Ford, Tel: 023 8098 4665

Nigel Guilder

Nathan House, 27 Hursley Road, Chandlers Ford Tel: 02380 262555

Funeral Directors Denmead Area South Downs Funeral Service

The Old Post Office, Hambledon Road, Denmead Tel: 02392 231567

Funeral Directors Eastleigh Area W G Bush

73 Leigh Road, Eastleigh Tel: 023 8098 3642

Paul Capper

Janet House, 95 Leigh Road, Eastleigh Tel: 02380 983840

The Co-operative Funeralcare

10 High Street, Eastleigh Tel: 02380 274672

A. H. Freemantle

Joseph House, 14 Bishopstoke Road, Eastleigh Tel: 02380 612444

A. H. Rogers and Sons

64 Market Street, Eastleigh Tel: 02380 612435

Robert Shipp and Daughter Independent Family Funeral Directors

224 High Street, Eastleigh Tel: 02380 644493

Overton & Saunders Family Funeral Director

4 Boyatt Wood Parade, Boyatt Wood Tel: 023 8065 0600 12

Funeral Directors Fareham Area M. Coghlan

Westbury Road, Fareham Tel: 01329 282711

Funeral Directors Fair Oak Area M. Johnson

56 Sandy Lane, Fair Oak Tel: 02380 600502

Funeral Directors Hedge End Area A. H. Rogers and Sons

32 St. Johns Road, Hedge End Tel: 01489 854 391

Funeral Directors International Rowland Brothers International

Tel: 0208 684 2324

Funeral Directors Park Gate Area B. Matthews

7 Middle Road, Park Gate Tel: 01489 854 297

Funeral Directors Portsmouth Area Simply Funerals

24 London Road, Portsmouth Tel: 0800 077 4222

Funeral Directors Romsey Area A. H. Cheater Ltd

122 The Hundred, Romsey, Tel: 01794 513393

Funeral Directors Shirley Area J. Beavis and Sons Vincent Street, off Church Street, Shirley Tel: 02380 772120 B. Matthews

276 Shirley Road, Shirley Tel: 023 8098 2784

A. H. Rogers and Sons

96 Romsey Road, Shirley Tel: 023 8098 5379

Funeral Directors Sholing Area Waters & Son

106 Spring Road, Sholing Tel: 02380 434244

Funeral Directors Southampton Area A. H. Cheater Ltd

5 Rownhams Road, Southampton, Tel: 02382 358860

The Co-operative Funeralcare

122 St Mary Street, Southampton Tel: 02380 221735

S. M. Forbes

80 St Mary’s Street, Southampton Tel: 02380 633863

F. C. Hughes

46 St. John’s Road, Hedge End, Southampton Tel: 01489 854047

Jonathan Terry

3 College Place, London Road, Southampton Tel: 02380 234533

Funeral Directors Tadley Area Ash Brooke

Mulfords Hill, Tadley Tel: 0118 982 1111

Funeral Directors West End Area A. H. Rogers and Sons

27 High Street, West End Tel: 023 8098 4716

Funeral Directors Whitchurch Area The Southern Co-operative

3 Winchester Street, Whitchurch Tel: 01256 895914

Funeral Directors Winchester Area Richard Steel and Partners

12-14 City Road, Winchester Tel: 01962 862333 Chesil House, 4 Chesil Street, Winchester Tel: 01962 862333

Wessex Funeral Services

106 Battery Hill, Winchester Tel: 01962 855773

Funeral Directors Woolston Area Beestons Funeral Service

35 Bridge Street, Woolston Tel: 023 8098 9528

B. Matthews

146 Portsmouth Road, Woolston Tel: 023 8098 6887

Items which need returning There will probably be a number of items that may need to be returned to the relevant offices. Some of these can be cancelled at the Registrars at the time of your appointment. Here is a checklist to help you: • Pension books • Other Social Security or Benefit books • Equipment on loan (Hospital/Social Service/Red Cross) • Passport • Membership Cards • Driving Licence • Library Books • Cheque books and cards, including any credit cards • The Council provides a “Tell Us Once” service when registering a death. Please refer to page 4 for more information

Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.

Social media It would be fair to assume that the social media account of the person who has died would be automatically closed after a period of inactivity, but sadly this isn’t always the case. Given the number of social media accounts that a person may have, if you have to close them, it’s important to understand the procedures and requirements, as it’s slightly different from one provider to another. This simple overview is designed to help you with the next steps. If you have access to their login details, it will make the process simpler, but they are not essential to close or alter them. Often a copy of the death certificate and a few other documents are required for these companies to action your requests, but please note this may change in time.

Twitter will automatically close after six months of inactivity; it can be refreshed if someone were to gain access at a later date. Twitter provides the options of official deactivation or the deletion of the account. Facebook has two options. The account can either be closed permanently or you can choose to have the page memorialised so family and friends can still share memories after the person has passed away. Some users of Facebook may have already nominated a ‘Legacy contact’ to administer their account in the event of a death. Instagram has two options. The account can either be closed permanently or you can choose to have the page memorialised. LinkedIn, if the account is premium it will first have to be downgraded before it can be closed.

These are just a selection of social media companies. Others may include; Pinterest, Gmail, I-Tunes, Microsoft Outlook, Flickr, Tumbler, YouTube, WhatsApp, Skype, Snapchat and Tiktok. There may be smaller interest groups such as sports and hobbies that may need looking into. On any of the social media platforms, visit their webpage scroll to the bottom and click ‘Help’ and use the search term ‘deceased’, they will direct you from there on the next stages.

Reference:

Winchester Hospice Bereavement Booklet

Review Date:

November 2025

Publication Date:

November 2023

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

�\\ bereavement

,�port network stopping mail

STOPPING JUNK MAIL It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be

insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting

www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information

with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed

identity and you will only have to supply the information once.

Winchester Hospice

Articles inside

Useful telephone numbers

The Coroner

Talking to children

Registering the death

Stopping Junk Mail

Items which need returning