Woodlands Hospice

Woodlands Hospice

Bereavement Support

Practical information and advice for family and friends

We care because you matter.

We’re here for you when you need us, for as long as you need us.

The nurse who supported you is and can be contacted at Woodlands Hospice

May we offer our sympathy to you, your family, and friends at this very sad time. We understand that the time ahead may be difficult and painful for you and we would like to continue to support you through this time.

The Woodlands Hospice team acknowledge that dignity, privacy and respect of your loved one is of paramount importance and our care continues during this time of sadness and grief.

The Woodlands Hospice Team hope that this booklet will help with all the arrangements which need to be made. It is designed to provide practical advice and gives guidance on who can help and where further information can be obtained, as well as explaining procedures such as registering the death and arranging the funeral.

If you are not sure what to do, please ask for help or support from any of the following people - Woodlands Patient and Family Services Team, Hospice staff, your G.P., local clergy and your family and friends. Funeral directors are also very helpful and will guide you as much as they can.

The Hospice Quiet Room is located on the ground floor. The Nursing and reception staff can direct you. The Hospice Quiet Room is open at all times and you may wish to sit quietly and relax, think or pray. Out-of-hours, the Quiet Room can be accessed through the nursing staff on the ward.

EXPERIENCING GRIEF

Grief is a personal, individual process and we each respond differently. What is important is that you allow yourself time to grieve, be kind to yourself and adapt to your loss in a way that is right for you.

It is generally agreed that the following may be helpful at this difficult time:

• Try to express your emotions.

• Remember that you need time to rest, think and sleep.

• If helpful, do let children talk about their emotions and express themselves.

• Encourage children to return to school and let them continue with their usual activities.

• Be gentle with yourself. If you have a bad day put it behind you and have another go.

• Try not to stifle your feelings.

• Talking about what has happened may help.

• Try not to forget that children experience similar feelings and need to share their grief.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

The grieving process can vary from person to person. There is no time limit on how long you may grieve for. Many people worry whether their feelings are normal. During grief you may experience some of the following responses: -

• Shock

• Numbness

• Relief

• Anger

• Helplessness

• Anxiety

• Guilt

• Self reproach

• Sadness

• Pining

• Fatigue

• Lack of energy

• Loneliness

• Nothing seems real

• These feelings / responses are normal. Your grief will change and evolve as in time you adjust to living your life, whilst maintaining the sense of the bond with the person who has died.

• Whilst these feelings are a normal part of grieving, if they persist and make it difficult to manage day to day tasks, you may wish to seek professional help.

HELP AND SUPPORT

• It is a good idea to speak with your GP about any physical symptoms you are experiencing. Your GP may be able to listen and offer emotional support and reassurance, but if you need more time to talk or longer term support they will be able to advise or signpost you to other support services that may be able to help.

WHAT DO I DO FIRST - PRACTICAL INFORMATION

Please remember that the Hospice staff will provide guidance and support.

1. Collect any clothing, cash and valuables belonging to your relative or friend.

2. Collect the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.

3. Register the death.

4. Organise the funeral.

5. Inform others of the death (see page 12).

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NEXT

1. Collecting valuables

Any cash and valuables belonging to your relative or friend will be held safely by the nursing staff. Ring the ward first to ensure everything is available for collection. Tel: 0151 529 8674.

2. Collecting the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death

The MCCD is a legal document which enables the Registrar to register a death. All deaths regardless of where a death occurs are now reviewed by the Medical Examiner who is an independent doctor who reviews the proposed cause of death and the accuracy of the MCCD.

The Medical Examiner Officer may wish to discuss the cause of death with you if they have any concerns about the care your relative or friend has received which may have impacted or led to the death.

Hospice nursing staff will advise you about the collection of the MCCD, which will be completed by a Hospice Doctor as soon as possible.

3. Registering the death

When you have collected the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, telephone the Liverpool Register Office (Registrar of Births and Deaths) for an appointment to register the death. Tel: 0151 233 3004. This must be done within 5 working days in the Register Office of the district in which the death occurred.

Please note, a death cannot be registered without a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.

The Registrars Office is open Monday to Friday between 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and is located at:

Liverpool Register Office

St George’s Hall, St George’s Place, L1 1JJ

Registrars Office Tel: 0151 233 3004

Please note that offices are closed on bank holidays.

Appointments to register a death can also be done online through the website. You can add the details and select a time that suits you.

Website: www.liverpool.gov.uk (Online appointment booking available)

E-mail: registrar@liverpool.gov.uk

Arrangements can be made to register a death elsewhere, but this may delay the funeral by a few days because the forms have to be posted to the office where you wish to register the death.

Who can register the death

• A relative of the person who has died.

• Someone present at the death.

• The person making the funeral arrangements.

Please note, if English is not your first language you may prefer to take someone with you to help.

What you need to take to register the death

• The Medical Certificate of the Cause of Death.

• The deceased person’s medical card, if available.

• The deceased person’s birth certificate, if available.

• The deceased person’s marriage certificate, if appropriate and available.

• Cash or a cheque for the original certificate (£11.00 charge), and for any additional copies you may need (£11.00 charge for each additional copy required).

• The deceased person’s passport, if available.

What the Registrar will need to know

• The date and place of death.

• The deceased person’s last usual address.

• The deceased person’s first names and surname (and maiden name where appropriate).

• The deceased person’s date and place of birth (town and country if born in the U.K. and country if born abroad).

• The deceased person’s occupation (or last occupation if retired) and the name and occupation of their spouse if applicable.

• Whether the person who died was receiving a pension or allowance from public funds.

• If the person who has died was married, the date of birth of the surviving widow or widower.

The Registrar will give you:-

• A Certificate of Burial or Cremation - This certificate is green in colour and should be given to the funeral director as early as possible.

• A Certificate of Registration of Death (Form BD8) - This may need to be sent to the Benefits Agency and is provided free-of-charge. Read the information on the back of the certificate and if any of it applies, fill in the certificate and post or take it to the Benefits Agency.

• The death certificate - This is a copy of the entry in the Death Register (£11.00 charge at time of registration for the original certificate, and a £11.00 charge for each additional copy required). You may need one or more death certificates for the Will and for any pension claims, insurance policies, etc.; many companies will not accept photocopies and additional certificates are available for a fee.

4. Organising the Funeral

• Telephone a funeral director of your choice (these are listed in your local telephone directory, Yellow Pages or Thomson Local Directory, or in the online directory).

• You do not have to wait until you have registered the death before contacting a funeral director. Funeral directors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and the earlier the funeral director becomes involved, the sooner they will be able to act on your behalf.

• If your relative / friend has made a Will, this may give information about their wishes for their funeral arrangements.

• The main requirements in England and Wales are that the death is certified by a Doctor or Coroner, registered with a Registrar of Births, Marriages & Deaths and the body either buried or cremated.

• You do not have to have a funeral ceremony.

• You do not have to use a religious minister.

• You do not have to use a funeral director.

• The ceremony does not have to take place in a crematorium or place of worship.

• There are more options concerning the content of a funeral ceremony and its duration. Most people choose to make their arrangements through a funeral director, but some people see “do it yourself” funerals as more personal and less expensive. If you would like to take this approach, enquire at the Cemeteries & Crematorium Department of your Local Authority for guidance. You could also get information from the Natural Death Centre which can be contacted on 01962 712690. Some funeral directors are willing to help with such funerals.

• Paying for the Funeral - If you arrange the funeral, you are responsible for paying the bill:-

• Ask the funeral director for a written quotation detailing all costs.

• Funeral payments are normally recoverable from your relative / friends estate.

Benefit Advice

If you are finding it difficult to pay for a funeral that you have to arrange you may be entitled to receive a Social Fund Funeral Payment from the Department of Work and Pensions providing you or your partner receive one of the following (Please note there is a time limit on claiming a funeral grant):-

• Income Support.

• Housing Benefit.

• Council Tax Benefit.

• Job Seeker’s allowance (income based).

• Disabled Person’s Tax Credit.

• Working Family’s Tax Credit .

Tel: 0800 731 0469

• Your local Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help complete applications for a Social Fund Funeral Payment. Telephone numbers are listed in the local Yellow Pages www.yell.com.

• Age UK can also provide advice and information to anyone over the age of 60 about funeral arrangements and welfare benefits etc. Tel: 0800 678 1602 www.ageuk.org.uk.

• There are also two booklets that may be of help to you (published by the Department of Work and Pensions):-

1. “Help with the Costs of a Funeral from the Social Fund” (SF200)

2. “What to do after a Death in England and Wales” (DWP Leaflet D49)

They are available from the Register Office, Social Services and main post offices. There is also advice online at www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/overview

5. Informing others about the death

You will probably want to let family, friends and neighbours know of the death right away. There are several other people who may also need to know.

These are:CONTACT

The Priest, Vicar or Minister of other faiths

Family Doctor, Hospitals, Dentist, Optician

The Benefits Agency (pensions, benefits)

The bank, Giro, credit cards, Building Society

Social Services (Home Helps, Home Care)

Schools, Colleges, University attended

Previous places of work / place of work (occupational pension)

Executors of the Estate (Will)

Solicitor

Insurance Companies

Library Service

Inland Revenue

Residential or Nursing Home DATE

Landlord, Housing Department

Council Tax Offices

Electricity, Gas, Telephone, Water companies

Post Office (re-direct mail)

www.stopmail.co.uk (to stop unwanted junk mail)

D.V.L.A. Swansea

Careline

Cancel any appointments

If your relative / friend has been living alone, you may need to ensure that their home is secure and remove all signs that indicate no-one is there. You may also need to arrange for any pets to be cared for, collect spare keys from other relatives, friends and neighbours and check the terms and conditions of any insurance / rental agreements covering the property.

Here is an example of a letter that you may find useful when informing people about the death:

Date:

[Your name] Encs Sample Letters

[Name to whom you are writing]

[Department] [Company] [Road]

[City]

[Postal Code]

Dear Sir/Madam

I wish to inform you of the death of [name of deceased and date of birth].

Please find enclosed with this letter the documentation/papers which need to be returned to you.

[Name of Deceased] died at [hospital name or home address] on [date].

If you require any further information, please contact me at the above address.

Yours faithfully

WILLS

If you have any queries about the Will or regarding the absence of a Will, you can contact:-

Probate Registry, Queen Elizabeth II Law Court, Derby Square, Liverpool L2 1XA Tel: 0151 236 8264

A useful booklet on “How to Obtain Probate” (PA2) is available from the Probate Office. There is also information online at www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/overview

THE CORONER

In some instances there is a legal requirement for the doctor to refer a death to the Coroner. If this is the case, medical staff who have treated your relative / friend will explain their reasons for referring to the Coroner and talk to you about what to expect.

ORGAN DONATION

Organ donation is often not possible for medical reasons. However, if at this sad time you feel able to consider organ donation, you should ask to see the doctor who will be able to advise you.

SERVICE EVALUATIONS AND USER EXPERIENCE SURVEYS

Here at Woodlands Hospice we are always keen to receive feedback and we send out an annual satisfaction survey to people who have accessed our service.

Of course, you can give verbal feedback to a member of the team at any time, or ask for one of our ‘Comments, Compliments & Complaints’ leaflets if you prefer to write your thoughts down.

Please be assured that all feedback and questionnaires are handled confidentially.

BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT

Woodlands Hospice team provides bereavement support. If you wish to access this, feel free to contact the Patient and Family Services Team who will be more than pleased to help, 0151 529 5352.

Bereavement Support includes:

• Emotional support on an individual basis.

• Bereavement Support Groups.

Celebration of Life Services

These services are held at various times throughout the year. We invite families and friends to remember and celebrate the life of their loved ones.

Forget-me-not Campaign

Gives you the opportunity to dedicate a forget-me-not flower to celebrate the life of a loved one. Choose from either a striking steel bloom to display in your own garden after they have been on display in the hospice gardens throughout the summer or a field flower in our virtual meadow – including a photo and message.

Light up a Life Appeal

Christmas can be a very difficult time if you have lost a loved one, or if you cannot be with someone you love. Our Light up a Life appeal gives you the opportunity to dedicate a light/s on our Christmas tree during December and brings some comfort at what is such a sensitive and challenging time of year. The lights are switched on during a number of services either at the hospice or out in the community when families and friends come together in remembrance of their loved one. You can also dedicate a light on our Virtual Christmas tree along with a photo and message.

STOPPING JUNK MAIL TO THE RECENTLY DECEASED

If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.

By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.

This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.

We hope that the information contained within this booklet will be of assistance to you. If you require any further support or information please do not hesitate to ask - we would very much like to help you. We would really welcome your feedback on the service you have experienced and please feel free to give your comments to the Nurse in charge of the ward or you can write to or telephone:-

Chief Executive Officer, Woodlands Hospice, AUH Campus, Longmoor Lane, Liverpool L9 7LA

Tel: 0151 529 8097

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.

Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.

Proudly serving the Maghull and Sefton communities.

Funeral Partners

We understand how expensive funerals can be and specialise in providing a valued service.

In recent years families have increasingly chosen more straightforward options. We can connect you with a local partner who can o er a simple and digni ed cremation, as well as more traditional funerals where we can add personal touches to re ect your wishes.

To discuss how we can provide a discreet and caring service for your loved one and con rm a xed price:

More information

For more information about the bereavement service at Woodlands Hospice, please visit our website: www.woodlandshospice.org/family-support-services

Woodlands Hospice

At Woodlands Hospice, our patients receive specialist palliative care in a purpose built facility and this care and support extends to family and loved ones. Woodlands Hospice is a registered charity and appreciates the support of our community

Registered Charity Number: 1048934

Ve

rsion number: 1

Approval Date:

Review Date:

March 2024

March 2026