SUMMER ‘16
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR BYI is colorful—inside and out—and we believe that’s what makes our group so special. We come from different schools, communities, cultures, races, religions…We’re different. We know it and we embrace it! This year, the group decided to explore this fact a little deeper by asking the question: how do our different experiences influence the art that we create both individually and as a group? Even further, how can we use our voices to share those experiences (which are often overlooked) with the world? These tumultuous times certainly require brave, colorful young people to stand and speak into existence the change they seek. Through the writings and illustrations on the following pages you’ll see our young folks do just that! Of course, we wouldn’t be able to do the work that we do if it weren’t for some important players. I would like to thank the YMCA of the Central Bay Area and its supporters, first and foremost, for allowing such an amazing space to exist for our young folks to fully and freely express themselves. I’d also like to shout out the Youth Institute staff (you know who you are!) for giving our teens the strength and permission to believe in the power of their voices. Thank you Teen Center staff for being an extra set of eyes around the space and for reminding us all of the YMCA’s core values. Finally, I want to thank each and every member of the Youth Institute for continuing to challenge themselves in life, love, art, friendship, family and everything else that matters in this complex, beautiful world.
Amira Hearod Throughout my childhood my dad wasn’t there. He wasn’t an in-and-out dad… he was just not there. I was too young when I found out he was never going to be around again, so I never understood that it was hurting me. I began to break down and shut things and people out. Whenever my friends would talk about their dads I would just stand there awkwardly trying to not let them see that I felt different from everyone else. I developed an anger issue from holding in everything, and it didn’t help that I thought I had no one to turn to--my mom, my sisters or my friends. What helped was when I started making beats and listening to music more. Music gave me sense of comfort. It took my broken pieces and crafted them into something meaningful and unique. Before I found music I thought nothing could go my way, but now I know there are sounds and lyrics that can describe my feelings and my heart. My dad became a bump in the road for me to get through instead of the emotional rollercoaster I thought it was. I realized that although the world could seem to be crumbling around me, I can turn to music no matter what. Music listens but doesn’t discriminate. It can calm you or it can hype you up. Making beats helped me get in touch with a side of me I never thought I had--I find the good in my hardest situations and I learned how to fix my broken pieces.
Amy Tsang My name is Amy Tsang. I’m 15 years old and attend Albany High. When you see me, I usually keep a straight face and wear black at school. My favorite things in life are: plants squatting in front of a plant on the sidewalk and staring at it is THE best thing because plants are life! Dark clothing - because dark clothing is the bomb, and manga - because manga is perfect. I value inner peace. It helps comfort the soul. My emotions don’t go haywire like most teenagers so I’m a weird one alright. There hasn’t been a place where I can be by myself other than alone in a locked room so everything’s all in my head. I think about a lot of things. I think about the future-my friends, my family, how I can improve myself, how I should present myself to others, why I shouldn’t care about what others think of me. I even imagine the worst that could possibly happen to me to shatter my highest expectations so I won’t get disappointed. Being in my head all the time, analyzing people is just what I do. That’s probably why I get sick of things very easily but not of people... yet. Whenever I look at someone, I tend to stare and think to myself “Humans are so fragile”, even when I look at a big person who’s all buff. When I draw, I draw things that are small, cute, and simple while wishing I could do better. It’s all in my head what I want to draw, but I get inspiration from what other people have done so what I do instead is I express my feelings through collages from newspapers. To me, the mash-ups with the pictures are an overlap of feelings.
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Brian Traylor
Hi, my name is Brian Traylor, but I prefer to be called Buddy, and I love basketball. Ever since I was little I was not so good at it but then I started working out and got so good, I was one of the top in the nation. Then I started eating junk food and got fat. Everybody else got better and now they’re better than me. Now I have people telling me that I suck and that I’m not going to make it to the NBA. People have even told me I should stop playing basketball--even my mom said she would stop supporting me. Now I feel alone and I feel hated but something somewhere deep inside of me is telling me not to stop and that I’m still the best in the world. But the rest of my body is telling me to quit. I don’t know which one to listen to and choose so I just keep it to myself, but one day I’m just going to show the world how good I am and that I will NOT just quit. There’s this one person though. He’s not my dad, but he kind of is because he understands everything that’s happening in my life. He doesn’t like when people talk about me or when they think I do everything wrong. He’s the only person right now in my life that believes I can get better than everybody and be someone in life who will take care of my family. I believe I can no matter who doubts me. I will succeed.
Alenah CoronaDesilva
I use my art to show my DEEP FEELINGS I can’t show my FAMILY. For my self-portrait I drew Ms. Invisible. The reason I made Ms. Invisible HOLLOW is because she’s been forced to act the way her FAMILY wants her to act. She doesn’t really know how to EXPRESS herself to everybody because she’s SCARED people will ABUSE her KINDNESS. Do you think Ms. Invisible HIDES her FEELINGS because she wants to? Do you think that it’s fair to her that she has to HIDE? Why do you think she feels INVISIBLE inside and out? She HIDES how she really feels because she has to. People call being that way FAKE. I call it UPSETTING. I was always judged. I was judged by STRANGERS, by FAMILY, and even by TEACHERS. Sometimes I wonder if people really UNDERSTAND me as a person or if they just think I’m IRRELEVANT, like a GHOST. But I know I’m different in the best ways. I’m active and I think about my FUTURE. I went through a DEEP DEPRESSION in my LIFE but I PERSEVERED. Ms. Invisible is FACELESS because she has to PRETEND to be SOMETHING THAT SHE IS NOT. She’s been left behind not knowing what to do so it’s not really much of a LIFE, but she’s living and she STRIVES to give. People MISTREAT and AVOID her but in reality she’s STRONG. She pushes and PERSEVERES through her STRUGGLES.
Daksh Jain
Hello, my name is Daksh Jain, a 13 year old boy who lives in Oakland, CA. I play a lot of games and really like to do math. The reason why I came to this country from India when I was 9 is to work hard. I joined the Youth Institute so I can learn more about graphic designing and also explore programs like Photoshop and Illustrator. I’m new to the Y but I really enjoy doing all of the activities and the work that we do here. I express my struggles and experiences through my art by showing how much I love to play games, how it felt when I came to America, and how much I love math. I really like to get into a work grind when I play games to get the rank or the gear that I want extremely fast. I also like to solve problems with my brain and I really enjoy listening to music. Some of the artists I like are Drake, Future, and Iamsu, but there are many others. I like to play basketball sometimes with my friends on the weekends and going to the movies to have fun. I draw things by looking at them on my free time. When I came here, I had a lot of goals for my life and what I’m going to do in the future: travelling to other countries like Dubai, get my dream Bugatti car, and even buy my parents a house. I want to buy them a house so they don’t have to struggle and work hard. My biggest goal for the future is to become a big businessman and be successful so I can support my family because I want their life to be easier.
Daniel Parham Funny. I draw funny images to escape my struggles in life. Whenever I feel down or like the whole world is against me, I pull out my sketch pad and I start drawing images that make me happy. Spongebob characters are definitely one of my favorite things to draw because Spongebob doesn’t have any cares. When he does have problems, he handles them in a funny way that makes me laugh and I try to solve my problems in the same way. I might not be able to draw as good as other people, but I don’t draw for them, I draw for myself. On top of drawing, cooking also helps me out with the struggles in my life. My mom’s cooking is really good and I wanted to be good like her so I started cooking on my own, but it wasn’t easy at first. The first time I made eggs, I burned them. The first time I made macaroni and cheese, I burned that too. BUT the second time, it was a masterpiece. And trust me, now I can cook. Just ask anyone about my special BBQ sauce! If you ask me to cook anything, I will. When I cook, I feel like I’m burning away all of my struggles and I end up focusing on making the dish. When I cook and write, I feel like I am in my own zone. I feel like I can do anything. As long as I can cook or draw, I will be okay in this world. My name is Daniel Parham. I am 13 years old. My birthday is on August 22nd. I am going to ninth grade.
Andrew Matthews My name is Andrew Mathews. I was born on September 30th, 2002, and I’m going to be attending Berkeley High School. The theme of this magazine is how you express your struggles and hard times through your art. To me art could be anything: dancing, singing, or creating a beautiful painting or drawing. I’ve found that Graffiti is a skill and strength I can use to express my struggles and hard times because you can make anything that looks basic, look lively and imaginative. When I’m creating new pieces I think of my work as if it were a designer brand logo because you never know, one day my pieces of art might get noticed and become popular. I’m not saying that I want graffiti to be my career in the future but it’s something I can use to express myself. Another ability and outlet I use to express my hard times and struggles would be through tennis. It may not be a type of art but tennis is a really big part of my life. I started playing when I was seven years old so I have been playing tennis for the past 6 years. These past six years of tennis helped me by getting me to not forget about hard times and to think about what this sport could do for myself and my future--what could it do to help my family in the future. So this is my self-portrait and I hope you enjoyed it!
Dymond Garrett
Many people may ask me, “Why are you so in love with music? Why are you always listening to music? Why are you always writing songs?” The reason I talk, write, and listen to music is because music helped me stay strong while my mom was in the hospital fighting cancer. I was never able to see her, so all I could do was talk to her on the phone. We would talk about music and she would tell me everything would be okay and that she misses me. After she’d hang up I would put my headphones on and listen to music. Writing helps me let my emotions out because as I was growing I would never talk about my emotions or how I felt. I would never cry at funerals or anything. I was always staying strong for my family, holding in all my tears, not telling or sharing my pain with anyone, but I would write it all out. One year I cried because my big cousin and step brother passed away. That was the first time I ever cried. As the years went on I wrote even more songs, expanded to writing, and started performing. My whole life changed in May of 2015, a few days or so after my birthday. My great auntie was in the hospital and we found out she had cancer that was already on the late stage. This meant it was too late to save her and she passed away. After all that happened my mom’s side of the family started falling apart. The people I thought was family started acting funny and different. They made me realize not everybody is real blood and that people can always change up, but loyalty truly makes you family. The main and most important reason why I truly love writing music is because you can put your feelings all into it. I recently had two cousins who drowned in a lake and passed away. Then after the funeral at their repast, a girl got shot in her chest. She was also my cousin. These people were my own blood and I never got to know them personally on a family type level. Who knows. We all could have been so close and everything but I’ll never know now. In honor of them I wrote a song called “A Letter to Heaven” First time I heard you were gone I cried my eyes out, I cried them out to a song, Now I’m wondering when you coming back home, Thinking to myself how can I go on, trying
Eva Schlussel
My name is Eva. As a child I enjoyed reading books and playing games where I took on a persona and imagined a setting to play in. This had me constantly thinking of different stories, people and places. I spent a lot of time drawing as well. Mostly weird, disproportionate people and simple backgrounds, but eventually I developed a style and started creating characters. When I was in third grade, my two friends told me that they didn’t want me to be their friend anymore. This began a period of loneliness which was extended due to several other consecutive friendship follies. I spent recess in the library reading, playing chess or other games on the computer, or looking for a mancala partner. When we were no longer allowed to use the computer, and when nobody wanted to play mancala with the lonely weird kid, I read books. The characters were my friends, and their adventures were my playground. Eventually, I decided that I wanted to write books. Recently, I realized that I had this urge because I wanted to do for others what my favourite authors did for me when I felt alone. I wanted to write worlds and friends for people who didn’t have a place to play or a person to play with. I show this by putting my heart into my writing, to bring emotion and company to anyone who reads it. I know novelists don’t make much money, but I don’t want that to keep me from pursuing my dream--nay, my calling, my destiny--to write and be read.
Jesse Medina
I express myself through music. Music has been a huge part of my life ever since birth. I’ve been listening to music for as long as I can remember. I enjoy ALL types and genres of music...well, all but country. I even listen to music people won’t understand, because it’s in French! Music is just about the greatest thing in the world to me. I don’t know what it is about music but something always pulls me to it, to listen more, listen harder, deeper. Sometimes when I listen to music I focus on the lyrics but other times I’ll listen to certain instruments. I would describe music as vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. That’s what music is for some people, it’s a form of beauty and self expression. If you listen to some song closely, you can hear a story, a life experience, a struggle. There are some songs out in the world with no lyrics and even those can have a meaning. Music is an art and I deem art as a form of self expression. I love sitting in my room alone with music playing. I close my eyes and I enjoy every second of the song. But honestly music is undefinable by words alone. Whether it’s complex or simple, fast or slow, loud or soft. It’s what you feel, or it could be your method of escape , or it could just keep you alive.
Joseph Pinon
Hello my name is Joseph Piñon and I am a 14 year old who lives in Oakland, California. There are a couple of things that brought my attention to the Youth Institute here in Berkeley. One, the ability to have access to programs like adobe illustrator and photoshop while receiving professional instruction is amazing. The programs have always managed to peak my interest, and for where my drawing skill, although limited, end. I have hundreds of tools at my fingertips with the power of the computer. Whether it be creating colorful, yet powerful and dangerous, looking robots with illustrator, or placing a cool filter on a photo I took, the possibilities are endless. Ever since I was a child, color has been my favorite part of art. Many who’ve viewed my art as child oversaturated, and sometimes overwhelming. But this addition gives my art a cool cartoony look that is my own. But let’s go a little deeper. Throughout my life, and I am sure I am not the only one, I have felt it difficult to truly understand what it means to be an African American, let alone, also white and Mexican. In Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, Morrison uses the term “Master Narrative” to describe the endless stereotypes and expectations that society creates for us. Society is constantly poisoning our minds with ideas of who we should be. They are narrating our own lives based nothing more than the color of our skin. Tempting us at every fork in the road to concede to its might, and with each one of us that falls, society’s narration grows stronger. In short, whether it be the fairly short amount of time I have been on this earth as an African American, or the stereotypes that we are fed by society itself, I am proud to be who I am and embrace who I am over the opinions of others. However, to leave things on a good note, the overlaying message that Toni Morrison conveys through her book is that it’s not all over. While in her own fictional world, we have no chance against society, we are not fictional. Despite its looming might, we have to ability to end the master narrative now, and tear down the system that has affected so many of us.
Jose MadrizLopez
Hello, my name is Jose Lopez Madriz. I’m 14 and was born in Berkeley, CA. I have a small family from Mexico who live in a two room apartment. I’ve always had struggles throughout my life. One of the experiences I’ve been through was when my Dad almost died of an injury he had on his foot. He has had that injury for 14 years and it hurt me to see him in pain. I joined the Youth Institute because I wanted to learn more about technology and I wanted to make a better life. I feel comfortable sharing what I have passed through because I know I’m not the only one who has problems. At the Y.I. camping retreat, I really felt like I was somebody at the campfire. Although we passed through hard obstacles at camp, we made it through. I enjoy working especially with those who have struggled as I have. I like to listen to some music but not much, and I also love playing soccer with my cousins at the park. Something special I really want to do this summer is to go and see the rest of my family in Mexico because I haven’t seen them in a long time. I’m also getting ready for the biggest change of my life, transitioning into high school. However, I am ready to face more in life and succeed in school and whatever else I decided to do for the rest of my life.
Kaitlyn Stamper
I like to think in stories and adventures. For me, even going to the grocery store is like a journey to the center of the earth. On the outside, you can see tale of adventure! With magical creatures like unicorns and dragons. But underneath the mythical fairy tales, there’s me. The creator. I would like to think of myself as brave and confident. Like a dragon that breathes fire, and bares its fangs. But the reality is that I’m more of a bee with no stinger. Generally, I’m a cheerful person and I enjoy hanging out with others, but there are times where I like to be alone. Being alone is where I become the magical unicorn I’ve always hoped to be. There was a time where I used to wish I could be someone else. I was never content with myself, and never appreciative of who I am. “I’m too short!”, “I’m too fat!”, “I’m too ugly!”. All these phrases I would say to myself over, and over. Even when everyone around me was always telling me otherwise, my eyes could only see them as lies. I couldn’t understand that there was a purpose to how I looked, or that my individuality was what made me unique. Then one day, I took a good look in the mirror, and just realized that I didn’t need to look like everyone else. I realized, it’s the inside that matters, that my life is a precious gift, and I was born this way for a reason. I didn’t end up not being the magical unicorn I hoped of becoming. Instead, I became a more mutated, and way more magical bee. Even if I have to be a harmless bee, I’m going to be the greatest bee there ever was. Besides, who wants to be that stereotypical unicorn anyways? It’s all just pretty packaging, and I would much rather be a bee, and attack my flaws. I’m not perfect, but nobody is. THAT’S perfection. I have tons of flaws, things that I sometimes wish I didn’t have, but the thing is, it’s what makes me human. If we were all perfect, we’d be Gods. But just like the stories, Gods have flaws. They are what coined my nickname, “Honeybee”. My experiences have taught me to respect my flaws and to feel good about myself even when I can be straight up bummin’ it in sweats and a t-shirt. Who cares about the packaging? It’s the prize inside that everyone digs for. My art expresses the prize from the inside. From fandoms, to dragons, unicorns, and mutated magical bees. This is the galaxy of my mind. This is where I can “bee” the greatest mutated unicorn bee thing ever. This is where I can “bee” “Honeybee”.
Manuel Munoz
My art embodies the way I think. I see the world as a place of hope and terror. I remember in the sixth grade I was always alone. Looking back, I see it worked out for the better. I was alone because all of my friends and all of the people I knew had a phone. Don’t get me wrong, I had a phone too. It wasn’t like an iPhone or Samsung though. I had a phone that was kind of like a flip phone so I couldn’t really do anything on it. I couldn’t do anything with my friends cause… I didn’t know what the trends were or how to approach them. Once, I sat alone all day because nobody wanted to talk to me. That was the worst year of my life because I had to go to therapy for it. At first I went because I had anger problems. Overtime as I went, it turned into an escape for me. Me and my counselor became friends. I could tell he liked me, and I liked him. Me going to go meet with him allowed me to open up and show my perspective of the world and society. He helped me be less angry and helped me be me. I was also bullied in sixth grade because I was quiet. Sounds weird, huh? It was like everything I did, people would find a way to try to fight me and make fun of me. I really couldn’t do it anymore. This would lead up to me missing one month of school in the seventh grade. When I came back people would still ignore me and bully me. I thought it was because of social media. I say this because everybody was doing these latest dances and trends so I felt left out. But then overtime people started being nice and accepting me with open arms. I was confused. One day people are mean to me then the next day people are acting like nothing ever happened, like I was a new student. But I was happy because from then on, people wouldn’t harm me. I’m actually glad all of these terrible things happened to me because without these things, I wouldn’t be at the place I am. These experiences are shown throughout my art. The art I do, I want to perfect the image of it and hopefully build a hobby for me to do when I feel down. I feel like the events were like destiny (well, sorta like destiny). I want to take my art and go farther with it--to escalate my skills.
Michaia Dixon
My entire life I’ve been the youngest in pretty much everything I do. In school I’m always the youngest in my grade because my birthday is at the very end of the year. In my family I’m the youngest kid and even in my extended family there’s only two children younger than me. Because of this I’ve developed the label of “the immature one”. The one who talks too fast and too much and gets herself in trouble most of the time. The one who’s afraid of new people and challenges. The girl who needs to grow up. From second to fifth grade I was bullied mercilessly, which had a huge change on my personality. Instead of being the immature one I became known as “the ice cold one”. The girl who you will talk to, but who might not talk back. The one who runs from gossip, drama, and friendship because she’s afraid of the heat that comes with it. I stayed unhappy like this until eighth grade, when I started meeting a few new friends. Slowly I started opening up and talking to people. By the end of the year I was making jokes and I wasn’t so afraid of talking to people. I can still be afraid of talking to new people and when I first make friends I can be seen as cold, distant, and isolated. However, now I’m not afraid to try and get to know people and have fun. I can make jokes and be mischievous. I know how to be childlike but I’m no longer afraid that people are judging everything I say. Now I can draw, sing, write, talk; do so many things without feeling scared. My writing reflects that. It reflects my newfound freedom and wonder for the world around me. The characters that go through so much strife represent me and my struggles, physical and mental. The monsters are my true inner demons which I am now discovering that I can fight back against. Writing helps me remember that even though I don’t always know it, I can be a hero. It took a long time, but writing has helped me remember my old childhood freedom.
Miguel Sanchez Many times as a kid I felt like I was missing something in my life. I didn’t know what it was, I just felt empty. When I was younger my parents always fought. Every night it would be on-going yelling back and forth. After years of this, my parents divorced. Both of my parents were massively impacted, but in a way, it was for the best. At times I would try to talk to my parents but I felt they both rejected me. My mom always screamed at me because she was stressed and always threatened to hit me if I didn’t let her sleep. My dad would just tell me, “Go away. I’m busy now”. Even before my parents’ divorce they would do this. I felt the only way my parents could communicate with me is by either staying silent and making gestures, or just screaming at me. Throughout the years my parents lightened up but I made it on my own for a year. Not having someone to tell me they loved me affected me the most. I learned to appreciate the small things I loved. That’s what kept me motivated to not give up. I built a big part of myself throughout that year. Most people don’t know that about me because I only tend to tell people if they become close. The people I have told, I consider them family. So for myself portrait I decided to make a collage about some of the things I loved as a child and some I do now that have kept, and still keep me going.
Nalubale Hall
People express their struggles with art in many different ways. I may express my struggles in some of the same ways but I also may express them in other ways. My name is Nalu and I use art as an escape from my struggles and pain. One way I express my struggles is with soccer because every kick, dribble, and juggle feels like a part of me. When I’m not in a good mood I go play soccer. It’s a time where I can think about whatever got me in a bad mood. Just playing and expressing my anger by kicking the ball can put me in good mood almost instantly and make me even forget what was on my mind. I also express my struggles with the music I listen to because there are so many different types of music that can express my feelings. The music reminds me when I think I’m alone, and have nobody who relates to my struggles, that there actually is somebody out there. Listening to music helps me get through those rough days when you don’t want to do anything except lay in bed but you have to get up and go do whatever you have to do. Yeah, music is great to listen to on those days. I wake up and listen to music, I walk to school listening to music, I do almost everything listening to music. Music and soccer are my ways to escape my struggles but they are also how I express myself.
Ryan Nicholas
Music turned all the way up blasting through my ears The song matching my struggle The beat matching mine the lyrics becoming my thoughts going from lit to sad and back to lit going from neutral to deep in thought and back to neutral In the end when the song is over I realize the song is like my struggles it starts but always ends Different genres Different beats Different lyrics It still ends the same with our struggles becoming our experiences as soon as the last beat goes off
This is one of many ways I express my struggles using art. Another, is through dance. When I dance, everything fades away, and the only thing on my mind is the next move and hitting each move right. It’s my escape from my struggles because, it is one of my passions. I could dance to anything, and it’s an everyday thing for me. I even like to make up my own dances. I’m even dancing as I write this! It’s something special in it’s own way. Like a drawing first breath, you make your first move, and enter a different world, your world. It’s just like pressing the pause button on my struggles, and then when I want to be me, I just press play. Finally when the song is all finished, I feel accomplished and fearless. This is how I overcome my struggles.
Serenity Hall
I usually stick to one specific spectrum of art: Music. It’s everything to me. It’s the invisible force that adds a pep to my step and a swing to my hips. It’s the euphoric sounds that move me. When I talk to people about it, I tend to get overexcited and freak them out. Someday, I hope I can find someone to talk about music and all the other things I enjoy. I’d take them down a trip to Rainbow City, and show them my Blue Neighborhood. We would then go to the disco, chill, and converse over the variety of music, among many other things. When that’s over, I’ll show them the airport where there are 21 pilots who sang about being outsiders and nomads. They’d know that it’s surprisingly comforting knowing they have it far worse than you. Even if it’s a sad thing to hear. At the end of the block, I would show them the statute of S.M. Hall, and tell them about how she blazed the trail for individuality and diversity. This is how I feel about myself. I want to be someone that solidifies that you can be whatever you want to be. Music helps me do this. It reminds me that there are other people in this world that care about the same things as me. Even though I’m already one of a kind.
Andy Tsang Once upon a time I was at my village and heard about the Shaman who was going to read a book called Fablehaven everyday until the last page. I went out to the Library of Infinity each and every day to listen to the fascinating book in a flash, but one day it disappeared. The book and the Shaman were gone along with the Library of Infinity. That was the beginning of my quest to find the next volume. I had to reach the Library of Infinity which was the only ancient library filled with old books. The Library of Infinity was teleported away by the Grand Wizard. I knew it would be a long journey but I didn’t know it would take me 3 years to get there. After all of the struggles with fighting dragons, being abducted by aliens, escaping from the same aliens TWICE, and then becoming a pirate captain with my own crew catching booty, I finally made it to the Library of Infinity where I would find Grand Wizard. Inside the library are enormous book shelves as big as a giant, and coincidently there are giants as the librarians. And then there’s the Grand Wizard of course. The Grand Wizard had a big pointy blue hat with stars on it as well as a big blue robe and pointy shoes. I bolted to the main desk where the Grand Wizard sat. I asked him little details about the book because I forgot what the book was called. He cast a spell with his magic wand and a blue light appeared and buzzed around the maze of a library. It quickly came back with the book. When I touched the book the wood building shook for a few seconds, and when I checked outside, I saw my village. I waved good bye to the Grand Wizard and headed off back home with the second book.
Alexandra Steverson
How I express myself is by listening to music. It makes me feel whole when I’m listening to it. When I’m around my family I feel I can’t express myself or how I feel as a person so I listen to music to feel like I’m present. A song I enjoy is “Formation” by Beyoncé. My favorite quote is “I dream it, I work hard, I grind ‘til I own it”. I chose that quote because it’s stuck in my head 24/7 and because I choose to stick by it by putting my all into my work and trying to focus as much as possible so I can achieve what I need to do in the day. Also, my self portrait is “Lemonade” inspired so I decided to choose a quote from off the album. I chose to do a “Lemonade” inspired portrait because it was a good album and the picture seemed easy to recreate. I renamed my portrait Limeade because I wanted a different title from the original but still use a drink name. The “Lemonade” album shows a bunch of emotions I’ve been through: betrayal, hurt, love and perseverance. Those emotions come up a lot and mold me as a person in many different ways. Betrayal comes from past situations, whether it’s with friends or family. Hurt comes from my past and still today as well. Love is an everyday emotion I feel whether it’s from peers or family members. Perseverance comes up everyday because of having to push through situations and still remain sane through it all. .
Amar Roberts
I express myself through my experiences in various ways. One way I express myself is by watching Youtube videos about interesting topics like graffiti art, murals, and paintings. Graffiti’s very cool to me because they’re very creative and colorful and they really pop out to me. Art is very cool to me because I have a vast amount of freedom to express myself; you can do whatever you want and could get recognized for it. This is the best feeling. During my freetime, I watch a lot of Gaming gameplays, gaming conventions, and gaming news. Gaming has always been in my life so I express myself the most around this field. I also watch documentaries about drugs, music, and celebrities. These videos on youtube are very interesting to watch and provide a good amount of facts and other information in them. Then, I share this information with others. I really love talking to other people about things so I can get second opinions about things, so I can learn more about something, and can get more facts. Also, another person could’ve been through the same exact thing I’ve been through. That’s why I love to communicate with others and think about my experiences. I do this to come up with solutions so if I go through the same experiences in the future, I would know how to act correctly. Occasionally, I take pictures of things that are related to my experiences somehow and post them on social media. I do this to spread my experiences to others who might have been through the same thing as I have.
Amar Roberts
Amaya Jones I express myself through art by taking pictures of things that give me any feeling or emotion towards it and turning them into stuff that I like. Usually something that has to do with how I’m feeling. I wanna express myself physically by taking a photo or using an image from off of the internet. If I wanna edit something then I would go to one of the programs on the computer called Photoshop. There is another program called Illustrator, and it’s a similar program to Photoshop. When I get in a creative place in my mind, I tend to get detached and release stressful things that I deal with around me. Being in that creative mindset can also lead to me growing into things I never knew how to do last year. I had a tough year but I pushed through it, kept attending the meetings and workshops, and I surprisingly finished the program over the summer. Expressing how I feel by taking pictures and making them my own helped me become more focused than I would have ever been. Sometimes it’s hard to think what would I be doing if I wasn’t in this program. I would probably be sitting in the house all summer doing nothing, wishing I had something to do. I’m thankful that I get the opportunity to be a part of this program and take advantage of something that’s free to me because not a lot of kids get the chance to do the things I get to as an opportunity. Most times the space is freeing and it gives you a chance to think and create. The most important way to express myself through art is to be passionate about my work. Sometimes I feel relief when I get focused and I express myself, because then it feels motivating, and you keep pushing yourself to go beyond what your limit is. When you are finished, you forget about any and everything that happened to you, or how you were feeling before because pouring your soul and heart and dedication is showing your self-worth and expression.
Camila GarciaFrausto
Why do we have self expression? Well to me self expression seems to be the only thing that helps differentiate us as people--we all are so similar yet feel the need to be different. Many try doing this by having different ideas and perceptions, or to totally diverge from the norm. In my opinion, art is one of the greatest forms self expression--visually, musically, or of any other kind. It spews, yet contains emotions and feelings that can’t be expressed by just simple words. It perpetuates the creator’s raw--and sometimes unsettling--emotions in whatever medium they desire. I personally enjoy art of the visual medium and I enjoy drawing to pass time, not to necessarily convey heavy and deep emotions on to the paper. I find it difficult just to express my emotions and thoughts verbally yet it’s even more difficult for me to do so on to my art. It seems kinda redundant and absurd that I have to state this; however, the sole basis of most of my art is to just be taken lightly because I can’t will myself to put meaning and emotion behind it. It’s probably due to my disconnectedness and detachment from those around me, but that won’t deter me-I will make it mean something someday. I’ll paint with beautiful reds, blues, and yellows to show what happiness and joy I feel when I’m around those I love. I’ll sketch to show my anger and animosity with the society we’re living in. My art will express everything and my pictures will literally be worth a thousand words. I don’t know what I will do but I know I will give more meaning to my art, because my voice has to be heard.
Cindy Tran
What is self expression? Self expression means the expression of one’s feelings, thoughts, or ideas, especially through writing, art, music, or dance. At the Youth Institute i like to express myself through photography and film. When i take a photograph, people see what i see, but because a photograph is part of what you see it doesn’t mean that’s all that’s there. In a photograph someone may see a “perfect” girl, but in real life she may be in a broken home with family fighting everyday, or even no family at all to care for her. What i’m trying to say is that you can’t assume something about someone by their photos or what you see them as on the internet. My piece is to tell people how i use photography. I use photography to show the beauty of the world through the smallest things like a flower or even being at grizzly peak and taking pictures of the city from high above. The littlest things mean so much to me, and i like to take pictures so i could remember that moment. I may not like photos of myself but everything on the outside could show everything for me, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a pic of me, but could be something I love.
Dejonte Scott Art reflects my experiences by being an outlet for all of my emotions. There’s always a certain emotion I feel while looking back at my experiences. With all of the distractions in the world, there’s not really a time where you can relate back to something; however, art allowed me to be free from everything. The piece I drew is an example of self-expression. Everything in this portrait represents me--even the social media logos. The droplet on the bottom of my portrait represents how all of the activity (social media, music, art) can be draining, and how at the end of the day they’re still present in my everyday life. Music brings out any deep emotions I have and helped me create this concept, so of course music notes had to be incorporated. The colored pencils are pretty self-explanatory; I love art! Sitting down looking back at my experiences, struggles and life inspired this piece. When I really sat down and thought about all of the concepts that would be included in this portrait, I got to better understand myself.
Erika Lopez My story is in every creative piece that I make, a part of something that inspires me. Or a specific feeling that at the moment was the only thing that mattered to me. Creating art is like a collection of memories. I can look back at something I made and remember how I was feeling, or my specific mindset from that moment. Every video that I create displays a different story and gives different emotions to my audience. I don’t only use visuals to convey my story, but music as well. The music I choose always makes my videos a whole lot more personal. Through the music and visuals that I assemble, I am able to create mini stories--like a collection of different experiences, and emotions. Even when the videos don’t exactly relate to my experiences they show the way I see things (the things I read, the things I hear, and what my interests are). I attempt at a certain aesthetic that I envision my life to be. Through my art I am not only expressing my views on my experiences, but really expressing the parts of me that people can’t see on the outside. My creativity is often overlooked, so in my art I visually show what I leave unseen, and I give life to the parts of me that seem lifeless. Finding the perfect way to express myself wasn’t easy, but I always knew I looked at things differently. Artists have a different way of looking at life. And from the moment that I was able to express my emotions in a simple video, I knew that it meant a lot. Although not everyone might see or understand my art, I know that my form of expression and creativity is unique. And just like no one can take away my experiences, no one can take away my art.
Hannah Montano Ever since I was young, photography has always been an outlet for me. I would constantly want to take pictures of anything I found fascinating in my little world. One day my parents took me to a store and I remember seeing a bright pink plastic camera that had a little screen on the back to view pictures. I then persuaded them to buy it for me. I came home that afternoon and I was so happy that I had my very own camera. I started taking pictures of every single thing: my brothers, my dogs, and flowers, amongst other things. From that moment my love for photography grew immensely. Photography for me is an outlet because I can capture special moments in my life with a click of a button and have it live forever in my memory. Coming to the Youth Institute has helped me further my passion for photography. Being taught new concepts everyday using a camera has strengthened my skills and has helped me develop a better understanding of the world I live in. Photography has helped me express myself by allowing me to share the things that interest me through photographs, with others around me. Emotions play big role in my photography. When I am in different moods, I focus on different things and pay attention to different aspects of the things around me. Without photography, most of the important memories my brain has chosen to forget would not only be absent from my camera roll, but absent from my life.
Jaime MonroyNieblas I express my experiences through art by showing what matters to me the most. I’ve played soccer ever since I was 5. Whenever Mexico had a game my family would always watch--and still do. I guess that introduced me to the sport. The soccer ball in my self portrait is the same one I have right now, and I use it everytime I play. I put the goalie gloves because it’s one of my favorite positions, and I’ve been playing it since the fifth grade. The music notes show my love for music. The notes are from the one song I’ve remembered by memory since I started playing the trumpet: “La Bamba”. I’ve played the trumpet since the 4th grade, when they made us choose an instrument to play for the next two years. I didn’t know which one to choose so I picked the one that seemed the most familiar and looked easier to play, and I ended up happy with my choice. I eventually learned how to play other instruments like the Ukulele, Drums, and the Bass. My favorite being the Bass. Although they might seem lame, I still play some of them today. The diamond doesn’t really represent me, but I just have a lot of T-shirts with diamonds on them.
Jasmine Miller “Sunshine breaks my eyes open from my sleep, Get up early make my bed neat School what a drag I hate the beginning of the week White supremacy ruling the school but I don’t care I have the right to speak Walking in Downtown Berkeley on the road where intelligence peaks Thinking about dance moves in the hot heat Buying unhealthy food because I mean they’re cheap I guess they want to make me die and add onto the grief To the Teen Center my second home where the judgement stays free And with this program I get to express me you know what I mean I’m not that successful when it comes to Illustrator or Photoshop like geeks But I am successful when writing poetry that speaks of peace Here I’m creating art with the knowledge that I seek And with challenges that I peak With art I create beauty like when the sky and the ocean meet Not a care in the world because here at the Y I can finally be me I’m black and I’m proud yet I’m still fighting to be free Still with my mind I can let my magic release My name is Jasmine but only family call me Jazzy Reading this poem I hope you think it’s neat Besides the fact that it rhymes here is my treat Remember stay black and proud and let no one have you beat Skin so thick like honey, attitude so sweet. We came here not to die, but to defeat Capiche? Capiche.”
Kristian “Jordan” Manning Music rushes through my body with excitement. Passion flows down my back when I speak about it. My mind travels into things they say can never be put into existence. I distance myself from the negativity, I inhale the solutions to my problems and watch it cloud up my judgment. I break apart my experiences and place them in several orders that change depending on the perspective. My art has become me. I take photographs of the now and later watch them become history. I took my knowledge and memories and put them in a book, I drew them out just for a different look. My art is I, I happen to be art. I make sure I show what I mean from the start. I create music so you can hear what I feel. I try to express that my feelings are real. Yet still I struggle, not sure if I want uncover the truths I hide behind my smile. I tried to photoshop my life like it would make it alright but found myself drowning in fabricated water. I am told to construct how I express what I create, sugar coat everything I bake, make sure I let people mold something I would create. They want to hold a sistah down not letting her play on the playground. It won’t make me stay down because like the sun, I get around. This is real and they will feel it. If they don’t need it, I’ll make them believe it.
Karina Ayala My name is Karina and I express myself through the pictures I take and the images I create on Illustrator. Specifically, I get inspired by the music I listen to and that’s what encourages me to do my best work. Doesn’t matter what the project is, I will put my all into it, even if I need that extra push to keep going. My art mostly reflects my love for music and other hobbies, such as reading. It also reflects my good experiences in life: love, laughter, and joy. I like to think that life isn’t always based off the negative aspects and experiences. The good things in life can also leave a large impact on us. My pictures show growth, from the bad to the good. My art represents what keeps me going through all the bad times. During the school year, I can get so stressed to the point where I want to give up and throw everything away. Those are times when drawing in my sketch book really calms me down and I come to realize that it isn’t the end of the world, just a bad day. My images show that if I can live past all the negative things I’ve gone through, so can others. I see my art giving hope to others who feel like they should give up. Hope to keep going. Hope that something better will come along some day. As an artist, I never really thought about the deeper meaning of my projects. I always did what I thought was cool, but now I think about it and I see what my art means to me. It’s my way of expressing the fights I’ve fought, the difficulties I’ve overcome. My art is my freedom. My art is my escape from reality in some ways. Music just helps me get there. “Now we’re swinging from the stars we’ve been reaching for.” - The Ready Set
Lucas Picard Extreme sports has always been in my life, and I didn’t realize how much it meant to me until recently. When I was 4, I learned to ride my bike without training wheels and the day before I started school I went mountain biking for the first time. I came to my first day of kindergarten with a giant bandage on my arm. I was also young when I learned to ski since I lived in Maine, and when I was 8 I started snowboarding and I loved it. When I was in middle school my parents split up, and at that time I started to skate a lot and spent most of my time with my friends skateboarding. I stopped skating in 8th grade, and just played video games for a while because the people I skateboarded with were not nice people. Eventually, I joined my school’s mountain biking team (this year) grade because my mom wanted me to stop playing video games. Because of mountain biking I have been spending more time with friends outside and less time inside. It feels better to be able to hang out with your friends in real life and not just on the computer. I wish there were more places to mountain bike and bmx in the Bay Area because I want to get better at both, but there are not a lot of places I can practice at.
Makeda Tucker
This World. In this world there are people that lack money. People that don’t even have any cents. Bad Decisions......A buffoon running for president? Crumbs going down your lungs..let it brew Killer food making our heartbeat stop.. body changing its mood. Stereotypes just because one person did it. All I do is stop drop not roll in it but I listen. Hatred. Poverty. Voluntary Ignorance. In my world. There’s a difference. You see all I do is put on my Headphones. To Block out all the nonsense with my fence and my positive presence. The Touch of that Strong Melody. That Rhythm of your knowledge representing me. Respect. Intelligence. Love. Positivity. Always falling in love with meaningful lyrics Great people personality and appearance. Clear waters...where you can see your feet Trees, flowers, and a place to grow from a seed. In my world Everything is beautiful..If you exist. If you’re not in touch with my ways of life you’re not on the list But you know Just because I see color doesn’t make my life shine. Just because you’ve been hanging from a rope doesn’t mean you climbed. So in order to be in this world you have to have light. Forget about the greys,the blacks, and the whites. The killing, the Lies, The spies, the evil. They can’t enter my world. Because that would be illegal. Headphones that’s all I need And I’ll be in my world. Suceed. Freed. Where I bloom and a blossom and it’s guaranteed. This World is not my world but I still live in it. Not the one percent but I’m still big in it. Young ones blinded.caught up in the illusion Repeating history...What’s the Solution? Killings every second of the hour Trying not to punch so i Raise my fist yelling black power Discrimination. Oppression. Depression. Not In my world. If you’re not careful something so ugly will make you feel like a mess. Tune it out. Disappear into the music. Let it Digest. Express.
Satchel Alexander Hi my name is Satchel Alexander. I express my struggles, thoughts, moods and experiences through beats and photography at the YI. Like if I feel mad I’ll use the bass because it has that mad, deep tone to it; when I’m happy I’ll use the violin because it has that sweet and soothing sound when you play it. Before I came to the YI, I never expressed myself in this way, but now I know that I can express my experiences, struggles and moods through everything that I learned. Now, it’s easy for me to express myself. Now, I can use every program almost perfectly. The beats that I make off of Logic Pro X are straight fire and dope. But the stuff I make on Photoshop is just ok, and sometimes saucy (but mostly ok because I’m not that good at using it yet). Also, the stuff I make on Illustrator is alright. It’s sometimes raw because I’m not that good at using Illustrator either; I’m at like a 6 or 7 on Illustrator. But when it comes to a camera and taking pictures, I’m saucy. My shots stay on point and my camera is always loaded with great pictures. When it comes to editing movies I have a hard time because I was never taught that good about how to use Final Cut Pro... Overall, I like the YI. It’s a program that I can have fun in and do stuff I have never done before and learn stuff that I’ve never learned before.
SirJames Robinson Hi my name is Sir James Robinson. I am a junior at Berkeley High School, and it’s my 3rd year in the Youth Institute. The reason I chose to be part of the program is because I wanted to grow in friendships, and to better myself in the digital media arts side of life. This program has helped me a lot with my way of saying things, and how I should be present with myself when on the retreat at Mammoth Lakes (for a whole week, with no civilization, or showers and only baby wipes). Another thing I want to elaborate on is how this program makes everyone more like family than friends, because on the first day of camping we were all at the Teen Center, and I looked at the new class and said to myself, “Brandyn, Dustin, and Kassie are going to have a rough time this summer”. But I was wrong because later that day I really got to know almost everyone on the bus and we were barely out of Sacramento. So all I’m really trying to say is this summer has been one of my favorite summers throughout my whole life (even though I’m only fifteen, and to most people that’s barely anything). To be completely honest about this program, it isn’t someplace you come to make friends; it’s where you come to meet the family that you haven’t had. My art is motivated by my music choices and the things I pay attention to. This piece of art I made is a triangle with a dull white line that hits it which shines and is refracted into colors, with a photo of me in the middle showing that my art reflects from dullness to color.
Yessenia Sanchez When we hear something suddenly a thought is born and descends to the heart. It is said that what is in our heart is expressed vocally, and if touched with love, and joy, we might do crazy things. Some of us might just do anything to express it. If your heart is broken by pain, hatred and strife then the result of your actions might be negative. Sometimes we are stuck in endless number of thought’s where we commit sudden actions that are fueled by our emotions. These actions become experiences that arise within other experiences. The art of an artist begins with an experience, which brings us to imagine things that make us feel some type of way and then express it. These experiences help us adapt to our surroundings. For a long time I was taught to accept rejection by my parents, my classmates, the dance teachers at school, government and society because I am undocumented. I always wanted to scream, “I’m not a criminal. I’m just a girl with hopes and dreams”. Rejection silenced me because I learned to numb my feelings and voice. The only way to express myself was cleaning my house and taking the role of a mother. I became a girl who gave everything because I wanted to be loved too. Over the time things improved. At church I was taught that God loved us through a sacrifice. Many leaders at church that imitated the love of Jesus where like father figures to me, It was there where I learned what the love of a father was. Learning that love is sacrifice, I choose to do everything with love, without expecting anything in return because love can’t be bought . Loving just fulfilled the love I was always seeking. Through this I learned to change my bad experiences into positive ones. Some ways I express my experiences are through Prophetic Dance, video editing, writing and more “...”. Now I express my experiences through love because to me love is an art.
Zorion SudjianLampkin There are many ways I express my experiences through my art here at the Youth Institute. For example, my experiences at the Youth Institute flow into my art. My first year as new class, I struggled to work with all of the programs on the computer. I showed a lot of that struggle in my Illustrator designs by showing rougher edges. By practicing self-reflection continuously as new class and now as a returner in the program, I’ve developed the skill to think deeper to create better art. I try to express what I feel through my art and the colors I use. So if I feel more mad I will use a lot more red and more aggressive feeling things in my art. If I’m in a happier mood I will use lighter colors to show that I don’t have any heavy weight holdin’ me down. But when I have that heavy weight on my mind and shoulders my art appears different and has a different meaning. This also goes for when I’m making music and beats. It all depends on the way I’m feeling. Last year as new class I made a self portrait that portrayed what what I felt was important to me (I included my experiences of being mixed race since that’s what a lot of people see first when they look at me). Not a lot of people really know that I’m half Armenian, so I made the flag a little more obvious. To me Art is all about putting what I feel into something that can’t necessarily be said with words.
Steven Beard I’m an artist and animator from Berkeley, California. My main skill is visual art, and I’m heavily influenced by comic books like Image, Marvel, and DC comics. I will become a comic book artist and writer in the near future. The comics that I’ll create will be based on biblical values due to my own religious beliefs. I’ve often wanted to share my beliefs with viewers so that they can eventually practice it themselves. When I was about 4 years old I began to draw characters that I watched from animated movies and cartoons. At 11, I focused my attention on real life drawings like people, cars and wild life. That style of drawing made me create a fantasy world of my own, which would go on to reflect my reality. I currently use those skills to this day when working on personal projects. My skills mostly involve digital artwork, pencil, painting, and sculpture. I also write stories that focus on real world issues. I want to do this because I feel the need to change serious problems in the world like racism, classism, and lack of faith. My books will eventually do the job. I am currently working on creating my very own comic brand and I look forward to sharing it with others soon, at a comic store near you.
Dustin Garcia Lines planted on paper, are my breath. An illustration, a life of its own. Drawing is my language, and language enables me to understand more about the world, and the people in it. It must be shared. Whether chaotically abstract or tangibly realistic, the charm of art is that is not only personal to the creator, but to the audience of the art itself. I have stumbled, risen, and stood still many times in life, but drawing has always been the force that has kept me moving forward. I firmly believe that the relationship of your life experiences, whether you know it or not, are unconsciously expressed through your medium and can even determine choice of medium. For me, it’s drawing cartoons. Though seemingly childish and to many a disposable form of entertainment, cartoons firmly express who I am and how my personal experiences feel. Cartoons are able to take them and stretch them to humorous proportions. Like a rubber band of reality, it has given a power to turn tragedy into comedy. Cartoons have taken truth from feeling like a punch in the gut, to a nice gut laugh. And who doesn’t like to laugh? We all need to laugh.
Brandyn Johnson I’m all about human interaction; it’s what gives me the motivation to take on each and every day. I love finding new people that I can learn from and give knowledge to. To me, that’s the whole point of our existence. There’s so much about the world that’s unknown (and will continue to be unknown); I like spending my time trying to bridge that learning gap as much as I can. Film and art definitely teach me new things about the world. Every movie I watch, every painting I interact with, every song that I listen to helps me understand a little bit more about people. In fact, the films that tend to attract my attention are those that are super intentional about their character development. Films like Before Sunrise, The Master, When Harry Met Sally (Just to name a couple...) all have characters that are dynamic and real and flawed and beautiful--they have everything I love! The people in these films are what inspire me and influence my making process. When writing a screenplay (or reviewing someone else’s) the thing I think about the most is whether or not the characters feel real and multi-dimensional. Those are the types of people that I gravitate to in real life, so I know that my audience will want to have that same kind of authentic connection with the characters I create.
Kasie Pham
As a second-generation, Vietnamese-American woman my entire cultural and ancestral history is art. In the 60’s, mainstream news aired and printed unfiltered, graphic images to show the public the horrors and tragedies that came with the war in Southeast Asia--people flooding the American Embassy after the fall of Saigon, the Napalm Girl, Operation Babylift, rivers painted red with blood, South Vietnamese General Nguyen Ngoc Loan executing a captured Viet Cong member for war crimes and for killing the General’s family in cold blood. This is what’s tied to my culture. This is what my family escaped by boat from. My art reflects my experiences--many of which are undeniably intertwined with my family’s history. That’s why I chose to honor my family with my self-portrait by re-imagining our lives. What if my family never left our motherland? How would our happy family portraits look with soldiers and helicopters in the background on what could have been our village? What if the Napalm girl was me? I’ve spent a lot of time selfreflecting about myself and my family after losing three grandparents in less than four years. Watching my roots die without any outlet for my pain and grief caused me to fall into a depression. I was completely lost. I didn’t know who I was. I felt I wasn’t living a life honoring the sacrifices of my family and my people. So I started to explore what it meant to be a Vietnamese-American woman and what it meant to be the granddaughter of Vietnamese fishermen and a South Vietnamese military family. I still struggle with living and pursuing a life I think they would be proud of but their sacrifices and the sacrifices of my people are my life lessons. I’ve learned that regardless of tragedy and hardship, I must continue forward and fight for the underdogs: communities and people who have stories that need to be heard and voices that need to be amplified. I want to inspire people to be active instead of being passive in shifting this world towards positive change. So instead of letting pain and suffering stop me from shining and bringing good into the universe, I choose to be like the lotus--to blossom with life and beauty despite being born surrounded by muddy water.
Special Thanks to John Oliver Santiago (YMCA Youth Institute Long Beach)
Julian Friedman Makeda Tucker Zorion Sudjian-Lampkin (Berkeley Youth Works)
Berkeley Youth Institute
YMCA-PG&E Teen Center 2111 Martin Luther King Jr. Way Berkeley, CA. 94704 (510)542-2120 Bjohnson@ymca-cba.org www.yiberkeley.com