Celina Zhao, “Number 0172”

07/12/2017 Dear Zhao Mei Lin, Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected as one of the elite soldiers for our military summer camp this year. We are excited that you will be joining us for 2 weeks. In the camp, your name Zhao Mei Lin will be hidden, instead, you will be assigned to the number code: #0172. # 0172: the following instructions must be remembered and followed during the camp, or, severe punishments await you. 1. Wake-up time is at 6:30 A.M every morning. 2. Make your bed in the “four square” way. 3. Breakfast starts at 7:00 A.M for 30 minutes. 4. Lunch starts at 12:00 P.M for 30 minutes. 5. Dinner starts at 6:00 P.M for 30 minutes. 6. Bedtime is 10:30 P.M. 7. BE ON TIME for everything! 8. Being 1 minute late to tasks means running one lap for punishment. Laps are added as minutes increase. 9. If you violate the rules, you will have to stand under the sun for hours. 10. Different training activities will be done each day. 11. Be ready for a memorable experience.

Best regards, Your instructors This offer was the start of two-week-long suffering. It was indeed memorable, just in a bad way. All members were required to write diaries to reflect on and record their experiences. Here is mine.

08/07/2017 Zhao Mei Lin This is my first day at the camp. At noon, I flew an hour to Beijing, then traveled by car for another hour. Sitting in the car, wearing a white flannel dress, enjoying the music and the sunshine, I was curiously wondering about life at the camp, but was startled into fury when seeing the actual camp…countless Chinese flags flying in the air, people wearing soldier suits running, huge green steel water bottle on the table, dorm room with 8 people, and 2 officers, monitors surrounding the camp, huge dining hall with crude facilities, and a track field with no grass. Oh no! It’s 10:20 P.M now, I have to get ready and go to bed before 10:30, I don’t want to get punished. Good night!

08/09/2017 Zhao Mei Lin Today, I finally learned how to make the bed into a four-square shape. First, pinch the two quilt corners on the same side with both hands. Then lift the quilt hardly to both sides so that the quilt is neatly laid out on the bed. Next, fold the quilt from the outside to the inside, about one-third of the width of the quilt. Finally, fold the remaining one-third of the quilt from the inside out so that the entire width of the quilt is folded into one-third of the entire quilt length. And it will be a square! If I hadn’t learned it today correctly, I have to stand in the sun for 30 minutes after lunch as punishment. Glad I learned it, I saw a few kids who didn’t fold the bed correctly, and they were running labs; that is scary! I don’t want to be punished. Good night.

08/10/2017 Zhao Mei Lin We set up campfires today! First, we collected rocks to build a fire ring and gathered wood. Then we are ready to build the campfire. “Placing two larger pieces of firewood parallel to each other and with some room in between to form the base of your structure. Then, turn 90 degrees and place two slightly smaller pieces on top and perpendicular to form a square. Place plenty of tinder inside the square. Continue adding a few more layers of firewood around the perimeter, getting a little bit smaller with each layer. Finish with a layer of kindling and tinder across the top. Remember to leave space between logs so the fire can get plenty of oxygen.” Instructor explained. I followed. It should be fun, but not really because I haven’t made friends yet. Looking outside the window, noticing the sky filled with twinkling stars and a crescent moon, shooed me to bed and dreams of clouds cradling me. Dreams of friends by my side, filling the camp with laughter and love. But they are all fake. I am tired. Good night.

8/11/2017 Zhao Mei Lin I woke up late today and did not go to check-in at breakfast on time. I was punished by running 10 laps around the field. It was 8 in the morning, bright sunshine hitting my face. Inhale, step, exhale, step, step, inhale, step, exhale, step, step, inhale. The running seems to last forever. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead, then my face, then onto my clothes. After the running, my muscles were tiredly lying on my bones, and I no longer had the strength to do anything. I hate running so much. Why? Why are they making me do this? Today is awful. I need to go to sleep now. Good night.

8/12/2017 Zhao Mei Lin I am writing in a tent. We are sleeping in a forest today, I am scared. I tried to follow the instructor everywhere he went. Mysterious mists cover the moon and the whole forest. There is no light. I can hear animals crying. Bears, wolves, tigers, who knows what creatures live in this forest. What if a wolf jumps out and eats me? Please don’t, I still need to go home, I can’t die here. I wish mom could be here and she will protect me. She always calms me down. I really miss her. Good night.

8/14/2017 Zhao Mei Lin We played paintballing today. It was fun, but I hurt my ankle and knees. There are real trenches, underground tunnels, obstacles, hills, abandoned houses, damaged grass, and trees. I was fleeing from a person chasing me, he kept getting closer and closer to me. The moment he was going to hold up his gun and shoot at me, I jumped out the window of a house, and hid in a tunnel. I survived, but I got hurt. I’m going to rest now. Good night.

8/16/2017 Zhao Mei Lin I went to dinner one minute late today and ran a lap. The food is gone after I come back. I had nothing left to eat. I am so hungry. The instructor told me to bear with it and come to dinner early next time. I didn’t like him. Later in the day, the office asked mer “Do you enjoy your time here?”I responded with a smile on my face: “yes, of course, it’s a great camp.” As he left, my fake laugh ended with a silent swear. Who would enjoy this camp? Ridiculous question. Good night.

8/17/2017 Zhao Mei Lin Nothing is getting better. Everyone is exhausted. I still haven’t made friends. No one did. In this camp, we are all training robots with only numbers and tasks, no names, no emotions, and no relationships. The strict rules, cruel instructors, the physical exhaustion, the loneliness, when can I get out of these? Sitting on the bed alone, listening to music I used to listen to at home, reminds me of the warmness and love outside of the camp. I’d grab anyone who came to me and make some friends, but no one did. Good Night!

08/19/2017 Zhao Mei Lin Today is my 12th birthday. Happy birthday to me! I am excited about growing up. Mom and dad, my sister, grandma, grandpa, uncles, and aunties all texted me to wish me a happy birthday. But I am not happy today. I don’t know how to describe my feeling exactly, but I just feel..empty. No one here celebrated it for me. The room is dim, the bed is cold. Everything just feels empty. I stood silently by the window, watching the rain and the sky, calming, but lonely. Rain is so peaceful that it gives me a moment of escape, forgetting the camp, leaving behind the unhappiness. The sky is so dark like a huge shade enveloping the whole camp. Tomorrow is the last day, this place is indifferent, boring, cruel, and heartless. I hate it. I hate it. I just want to go home. Good Night!

Celina Zhao ’24

Catherine Yan ’24