HOWTOACCEPT YOUR“FAT”BODY

Written By Victoria Kleinsman

Eating disorders and weight

85% of people with eating disorders are NOT underweight using the measurement of BMI

Even though I think BMI is BS, I’ll use it in context with this explanation You can be underweight for your body yet overweight on the BMI scale. You can be a “healthy BMI” yet be underweight for your body

And so that 85% who are not considered underweight and who have an ED are just as valid as someone who is underweight using the BMI scale.

The stereotype is that people with eating disorders are emaciated. That’s certainly not always true.

Genetically my body did “go there” when I had anorexia and it was obvious that I had an ED When the anorexia morphed into bulimia and binge eating, I didn’t look like I had an ED but I was still very much IN a restrictive ED. I’ve worked with many women who are in bodies where it is not obvious that they have a restrictive eating disorder. Their doctors don’t diagnose an ED and in fact, often praise and encourage disordered behaviors if the person isn’t in a very thin body or considered overweight on the BMI scale.

That’s like not helping someone who has depression because they don’t look like they have depression

I’ve worked with clients who have been restricting far more than I used to restrict but because they are in normal-sized or larger-sized bodies, nobody is saying they should eat more. Nobody is saying they should get help. Nobody can see the physical effects of the ED But that doesn’t mean it’s not there An ED diagnosis should be based on the person’s behaviors and how it is affecting their life and their mental health It shouldn’t be reliant on their body size

Social capital

If you’re in an ED, in recovery from an ED, or have recovered and your body is considered “fat” then the question becomes, “how do you accept your fat body in the society we live in?”

Being thin or having a “great body” gives you social capital Privileges. People treat you differently. Not everyone but most. It’s like being wealthy… having a lot of money or being considered rich gives you social capital That’s the root of most (not all) eating disorders, seeking approval and acceptance from society (Another root of eating disorders is due to trauma and a way of coping)

It’s natural for us to want to seek acceptance and approval due to our genetics If we weren’t accepted way back when then we’d have been rejected from the tribe and therefore been left to fend for ourselves The outcome of that would have most likely been ‘death’ at worst or at best a life full of struggle. I’m going to share one of Brene Brown’s quotes that really clarifies what I’m about to share;

“If you spend your whole life trying to fit in, you’ll never truly belong” Bene Brown

We no longer live in a tribal setting where if we were to be rejected it would be a matter of life or death Yes, we live in a society that treats people differently depending on their body size – which is fucked up – but that doesn’t mean we have to live this way forever We get to be the change that we’d like to see And this change IS happening Slowly but surely I am a part of it and you can be a part of it