Black Hills Women Magazine January-February 2020

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Behind this Issue

Tracy Bernard

Jessie Fewson

Editor-in-Chief

Advertising Sales

Publisher

Tout Advertising, LLC

Editor-in-Chief

Tracy Bernard

Copy Editor

Katie Pavel

Ad Sales

Jessie Fewson

Layout & Design

Tracy Bernard

Jeff Williamson

Cover Photo

Johnny Sundby

Johnny Sundby Photography Cover Design Kara Azevedo

Jeff Williamson

Accounting

Graphic Designer

Tracy Bernard

527 Kansas City Street, Suite 2 Rapid City, SD 57701 605.877.1446 BlackHillsWoman.com Katie Pavel

Johnny Sundby

Copy Editor

Cover Photo

advertising @blackhillswoman

On the Cover L to R: Darbi Hunt, Bonnie Halsey-Dutton, Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart

@blackhillswoman

Tout Advertising, LLC assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photography or artwork and reserves the right to accept or reject any editorial or advertising material. Articles, advertisements, and opinions in this publication do not necessarily carry the endorsement of Tout Advertising. Š2020 Black Hills Woman Magazine


Inside this Issue

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Foresight is 2020 From The Editor

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The Contemporary Relationship Relationship

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Failing at Follow-Through

Lifestyle

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The Science of Sound in Spas Beauty

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Dr. Bonnie Halsey-Dutton

Artist Profile

30 Fashion Fashion

34 Darbi Hunt

Girl Gives Back 4


Danielle Shafer, PA-C

Make your appointment today: 605-791-7799


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Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart Woman In Business

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Charcuterie Home

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Fall & Winter Fitness Tips For Keeping Fit in the Cooler Seasons Health & Fitness

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In Appreciation of Appreciation Humor

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How our Friday pizza night helps us connect with our growing kids Family

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FIVE REASONS YOU SHOULD HAVE A PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR: 1

FAMILY DOCTORS FOLLOW YOUR LIFE CYCLE

Our family is growing to take care of your family.

Family doctors treat a wide range of conditions for all ages and stages of life. 2

THEY KNOW YOUR PERSONAL AND FAMILY HISTORY OFTEN BECAUSE THEY ARE TAKING CARE OF MULTIPLE GENERATIONS OF YOUR FAMILY

Dr. Taylor Kapsch (August 2019)

When doctors treat you for years, they get to know your medical history inside and out. 3

FAMILY DOCTORS TREAT MORE THAN YOU THINK Family doctors are highly trained, board certified physicians who are skilled at making diagnoses and treating many conditions.

4

(September 2019)

WHEN YOU NEED A SPECIALIST, YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR HELPS YOU FIND THE RIGHT DOCTOR

Navigating medical care can be challenging and your family doctor acts as your advocate to make sure you see the right specialist. 5

Dr. Kyle Larson

FAMILY DOCTORS CAN IMPROVE LIVES AND SAVE MONEY

Patient studies reveal when they have a primary care doctor they have lower hospitalization rates, fewer emergency room visits and reduced costs of health care.

Dr. Nancy Babbitt

Dr. Jon Wingert

Dr. Carson Phillips

Jenna Dormann, PA-C

Steve Sachs, PA-C

Dr. Ann Hibbs

(September 2019)

Please call to schedule an appointment.

2822 Jackson Blvd, Suite 101, Rapid City, SD 605-341-1208 creeksidemedicalclinic.org


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From the Editor


Foresight is 2020 Twenty-twenty. Even the sound of it pops like big things are about to happen. The Black Hills is bubbling with activity and optimism. We have mergers, partnerships, expansions and revitalizations either happening or in planning. Existing enterprises are showing how nimble and adaptive they are, and all of these things are creating improvements to our quality of life in the Black Hills. Military, science and technology, entertainment, healthcare, hospitality and education are proving to be big players in our economic sphere, and the trickling benefits can be felt by us all. With all this, new people, talent and ideas come, too. I personally can't wait to seek out and cover all the amazing women and businesses that are part of this percolation...which leads me to the other thing I'm excited about for 2020. 2020 marks the ten year anniversary of Black Hills Woman magazine. Like the businesses mentioned above, we too have had to be nimble and adaptable. We've changed our size, cover stock, distribution modules and even the breadth of topics we cover to keep you ladies reading. We've also taken on not-so fun topics like human trafficking, meth addiction and plastic pollution, to better serve our community. Our anniversary issue will be the June-July issue and we are already cooking up ways to make it extra special. If you have ideas, I'd love to hear them. Feel free to DM us through the Black Hills Woman Facebook page. As the only locally ownedwomen's magazine in the Hills, we love working with you on content. From my team to you - THANK YOU for growing with us for 10 years. Wishing you a prosperous New Year,

Tracy

From the Editor

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The Contemporary Relationship By Crystal McLeod

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Relationship


“Women want love and men want respect,” or “Men are similar sexual appetites, health, and wellness routines, as from Mars, and women are from Venus.” How many times well as similar attractions to one another. Are your interests have we heard these sayings describing the differences similar? Not having the same interests can increase between men and women? conflict over time. What Does love weigh more than is your ability to connect respect or vice versa? The mentally and intellectually perspective of what men to one another? Connection want and what women want increases your ability to in their relationships remains communicate effectively a mystery, and we all have and solve problems that may an opinion about it. Women arise. Exploring compatibility want more than love, and begins in the dating phase men want more than respect. of courtship. Ask questions, “Women want Both partners should be given communicate your needs, an equal amount of respect learn about the person sitting love and and love in a relationship. across the table from you. If men want Very little research, if any, you are not compatible with that shows if men are someone you are dating, you respect” respected and women are may find that you are wasting loved, their relationships will your time. last until eternity. A variety of ideas and testimonies do Be Yourself exist, though, on what makes There is a saying that an relationships successful. I individual does not show his have also seen many of those or her true self until about same success stories in my 90 days into a relationship. own clinical practice as well. We spend time attempting So, let’s get into some things that have proven to increase to impress the individual that we are seeing, which forces the longevity of relationships, and they are not just love us to forget who we really are at times. Now, that does and respect. not mean that you meet someone on day one and tell that person your life story, but it is vital that you feel Compatibility comfortable being yourself as your progress in your Are you compatible with your mate? Physical compatibility relationship. Acceptance is critical, and it fosters comfort, is critical in relationships. You and your mate should have safety, and trust with your partner. If you are not at a place

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where you can be yourself, you may need to reevaluate the status of your relationship and determine if it is for you.

Communication Effective and respectful communication skills are imperative in a relationship. If you are not able to communicate your needs in your relationship, how will you progress? Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington concluded in a 20-year study that the best predictor of a divorce or end to a relationship is when both partners show contempt in a relationship. Respectful and positive communication efforts allow you and your partner to separate the person from the issue. Pay attention to how you both are communicating with one another. Honest and respectful communication is a two-way street.

Trust Can your partner count on you? Are you reliable? Are you a person of your word? Do you uphold the fidelity agreement in your relationship? These are the things that increase trust in a relationship. When times are difficult, trusting one another to support the relationship is essential. Fostering honesty in the relationship, even when its hurtful, helps with developing strong foundations during the most challenging times in a relationship. Discuss amongst one another what trust and honestly looks like. Understand what your partner needs to foster a trustworthy relationship.

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Relationship

Similar Financial Goals The problematic discussion of finances is one of the primary reasons that couples seek outside help in their relationships. Discussing finances can be tough, especially if you do not share the same financial values. Views on finances usually manifest very early in a relationship through observation of spending habits, way of living, and attitude as it relates to finances. Finances are tough conversations to have in a relationship; it is crucial to understand where each other stands.



So how do you equate love and respect into increasing the success of your relationship? Love and respect are to be reciprocated between both parties in a relationship. As a matter of fact, The Good Men Project discusses the needs of men as praise and approval, sexual connection, emotional intimacy, space, physical touch, and security. Many of these things above are emotional connections that men desire to have with their partner, not solely respect. Self-Made Magazine states that women want men who are honest, confident, motivated, respectful, clean, attractive, dependable, kind, and have integrity. Women and men are now sharing Venus and Mars. We are living on the same planet. We desire similar things in our relationships that

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Relationship

include love and respect. While we are very different, we are also very similar. Growing your relationship is not an easy task, but keeping in mind a few of the tips above can get you off on the right foot. BHW



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Lifestyle


W

ith the new year in full-swing, many are establishing goals and setting their minds on conquering each and every one of them. They have purchased the newest workout clothes, registered for their first scholastic study, or put their brainpower into planning for their financial future. Whatever the goal, they have taken the first steps to success. However, studies suggest by the end of the year, only roughly 8% of the population will have completed their New Year’s goals. What keeps the other 92% from finding success in their follow-through? Although there are thousands of reasons why individuals may miss the mark when it comes to completing their yearly ambitions, here are a few explanations often overlooked by the masses. Lacking a Purposeful Foundation Not having the proper foundation when creating a goal is a significant downfall for many. Not only should a goal have several “whys” attached, all increasing in their importance, but the goal also needs to grow from a solid foundation. A tree rises from the roots, then bears fruit accordingly. Make sure your roots are clearly defined, and then build your goals from there. Defining the Goal Incorrectly Writing out a goal is a tricky endeavor. If one gets too specific about the wrong focus, or too broad on others, he or she may find him or herself over- or underwhelmed. For example, many women may set

the goal to lose 20 pounds in 3 months. Although this is a feasible goal, using pounds to establish success or not does not favor all of the variables involved in such a goal. As a person exercises, he or she loses fat initially, which weighs less than muscle. He or she also gains muscle, which weighs more than fat. Hopefully, the individual is also drinking more water and focusing on foods that are nutrient dense. This can create a number with little to no value if loss of pounds is the one and only goal. The goal is specific and potentially achievable, but perhaps not within the very specific timeframe of 3 months. Consider shifting the goal to a movement and/or food specific goal rather than pounds lost. This increases the potential of experiencing more overall satisfaction with making lifestyle changes, rather than focusing on a number (pounds lost) that is dependent on several factors. Other goals are not specific enough. An example of this type of goal description might be to travel more this summer. What sparks the individual’s enthusiasm for traveling more? A clearer goal would be to explore five European countries to learn more about a person’s heritage. Once you select a goal and write it out clearly, create a detailed description of what it will feel like to see yourself making progress and when you actually complete the goal.

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Too Many Goals at One Time When a person decides to dive into making changes in his or her life, it can be tempting for him or her to take on too many changes at one time. Selecting one or two goals at a time increases a person’s ability to meet a goal with success. Otherwise, the individual begins juggling too many transitions at once. This can often lead to overwhelm, fatigue, and, ultimately, the lack of completion of any of the goals originally created. Setting Self-Centric Goals How often do goals relate to self rather than others? This could be one of the greatest downfalls in goal-setting. Serving others is a blessing people should pay more attention to. When one establishes goals around the framework of helping others, he or she becomes more eager to accomplish the goal. Why? It simply feels good to give back to others. When establishing your next goal, think about how you can shift the focus from self to others. Being Afraid to Shift During Check-In Points Many often remember to establish check-in points in order to determine whether or not they are on track for completing their goal. Some are also successful in evaluating what is keeping them from, or on, the track of success. However, these check-ins are also great opportunities to shift one’s goal if necessary.

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This may surprise many. Individuals can change their goals throughout the process and should. In the beginning of the goal-setting process, many set a goal that often seems to be at the top of their list, is approachable, and fits within their lifestyle. However, as they navigate the process, they may find if they shift the definition of the goal slightly, they may meet their expectations with greater success and enthusiasm. Excuses Ask anyone why goals fail and many would say, “Because we create excuses!” However, there is a two-way door to this follow-through. Yes, sometimes excuses are the main cause of a goal not being successful. Examples of such excuses include being too busy, not having the right tools, realizing the task is too difficult, allowing other things to come up, etc. All of these excuses can be reworked to highlight opportunities to remove obstacles in obtaining a goal. One should take such opportunities. Sometimes, the opposite reality may be true. Individuals set goals during the wrong seasons in their lives, or set incorrect goals for the life they have been given. In this case, the “excuses” aid in recognizing that the goal itself, may need to be discussed. Examples of this scenario include starting a new business while starting a family, getting to the gym 5x/week while caring for an ill family member, jumping into a career when your natural talents shine as a stay-at-home mom, etc. It is crucial to be honest about who you are, what talents you have, and what season of life you are in when making goals in order to see success in the follow-through.

Goal-setting can definitely be tricky, but successfully completing goals may be even more difficult. In order to avoid the goal-failure trap, use this handy list to begin creating the right goals, defining them well, and spotting the excuses or shifts you may need to make along the way. BHW

Ti ps to Achieve Your Goals:

• Start with a Foundation • Consider the Season You are In • Select One or Two Goals at a Time • Detail How You will Feel Completing the Goal • Consider How Completing the Goal will Positively Impact Others • Use Check-Ins as Goal Shifting Opportunities If Necessary • Let the Lifestyle Change be the Reward

Lifestyle

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The Science of Sound in Spas by Jessie Fewson

You have probably heard about traditional therapies like aromatherapy or massage, but a new trend is sweeping the spa industry called sound therapy. Sound therapy is a therapy that uses relaxing sounds, vibrations, and even the lack of sound to calm the mind and body. Varying methods are being used to engage the senses and create a more diverse experience during spa treatments. The use of sound for healing and relaxation dates back to ancient times and is now being incorporated with spa treatments to help clients switch off from the noise of everyday life and obligations. Sending the body into a state of relaxation using sounds reaps benefits such as improved sleep, better concentration, relief of muscular tension, and, in some cases, even pain relief. The concept is based on the fact that the systems of our bodies vibrate at different frequencies that get disrupted by stress or illness. The rhythm of the sounds helps to reset the body and calm the mind. The sound and vibrations give the mind something to focus on and sets the mind on a different train of thought to help the body relax and reset. Spas across the country are using a variety of methods to help clients enter a meditative state of relaxation and enhance the experience of their services. The therapies range from instruments such as signing bowls and gongs, to meditative music, or even to no sound at all. Guided meditations are also being used for services like manicures and pedicures to help clients reset and get more out of their time at the spa. Akela Spa in Deadwood has started using a therapy called The Sound of Color to help clients relax during their manicures and pedicure treatments. The program matches

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Beauty


Beauty

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colors with guided meditations and music. “The program allows clients to choose the relaxation program they would like and turns the treatment into a full spectrum experience: The clients are enjoying a new level of relaxation during these services,� says Kim. Float tanks are also being widely used as a sensory deprivation and sound therapy method in spas. The tanks are usually set in a dim, quiet room that allows you to step away from everyday stress. The water in the float tanks contains a high concentration of salt to give the body a truly weightless feeling. To ensure that the body does not have any sensory triggers, the water itself is set at body temperature. The relaxation of floating in the water, combined with soft sounds

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Beauty


or music, allows the mind and body to switch off and reset. Many people report great relaxation and relief from tension just from having one session in the tank. This method truly allows you to escape, as you are left to relax in solidarity and relax in your own way. Acoustic resonance therapy is another form of sound therapy that is being used in spas across the country. The company Living Earths Crafts has developed an acoustic resonance therapy machine that emits five harmonic frequencies that are programmed to correspond with different body parts. The machine sends sound waves though injured or sore areas and treats the area with the vibrations. Patients have reported relief from chronic pain, acute pain, stress and fatigue from this method. With all of these different methods of sound therapy that have made their way into the spa scene, there are a multitude of ways to relax and reset. Science has blended with traditional spa services to offer healing and relaxation from the inside out. Next time you book a spa service, be sure and ask about what sound therapies they have available and give it a try! You will be singing a happy tune when you find the method that best

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in e utt n -D o y B e . ls r DHa The 59-year-old Spearfish artist defines her art..

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Artist Profile


The Journey I clearly recall aspiring to be an artist at 9 years old and have always seen myself as a creative individual. However, I was practical when envisioning how I would make a living as an artist. I earned a BA in Fine Art with a minor in Business Administration. My art career merged with art education after college, when I paired painting professionally with teaching art to students of all age groups. Discovering a passion to not only create art but to also teach art, I went on to eventually earn a PhD in Art History and Education. Today, I paint professionally as well as teach adult art education classes, both in the Black Hills and at the Art in the Algarve School in Olhão, Portugal. My paintings contain bright colors that I utilize to render realistic elements, and I pair this with loosely painted areas. This is accomplished in my medium of choice, watercolor on Ampersand claybord. Watercolor as a medium allows for unexpected results; therefore, painting in watercolor is both challenging and exciting for me. Painting while inviting elements of the unknown is a form of creative risk-taking that I relish in my artistic process. I explore two different series of work through painting. One series utilizes trade beads as metaphor for humankind’s cultural interconnection, both past and present. I am drawn to the subject matter, pattern, texture, and symbolism that I find with trade beads. My second series of artwork depicts landscapes rendered in bright color. I paint landscapes of the Black Hills of South Dakota and

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also landscapes inspired by my global travel experiences. I have traveled extensively, and my travels and interest in global cultures are major influences in my painting. Technique Development As in mastering any skill, painting takes practice and more practice. During my undergraduate studies, I had a master watercolor instructor, Dick Dubois, while attending Black Hills State College (now Black Hills State University). Mr. Dubois impacted my painting style then and yet today. Although Mr. Dubois has since passed, I continue to run across locals who also benefited from his teaching. I find that the longer I continue to paint in watercolor, the more open I am to surrendering to the media. Beyond formal art education, I frequently give myself painting “assignments�

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Artist Profile

in much the same way I assign painting challenges to students. For example, while exploring color theory, I often render different paintings with backgrounds that utilize various different color groups. The result is varying emotional impact within the artwork, and this is something I continue to find intriguing. Nobody learns in a vacuum. Therefore, it is vital to surround yourself with creative and supportive individuals. Artists tend to be their own harshest critics, so I encourage aspiring artists to be kind to themselves. Brain research indicates that humans respond to their own individual thoughts similar to how they respond to words of praise or criticism heard from an external source. This means that thoughts hold the potential to be as helpful as they


are harmful. Therefore, when an artist engages in self-deprecating thoughts, criticism they would never consider saying to another person, they are truly doing themselves harm. I encourage artists working in any medium to recognize that not every creative endeavor will be artistically successful and that time spent making the art should not define the creator’s worth. I liken time spent developing artistic skills to that of attending a movie, play, or music performance. We don’t enter a theatre with the expectation of being able to create a masterpiece in the short timeframe that we are there. Rather, we engage in the cultural activity as an experience that relaxes, educates, entertains, and shapes our being in this world. When creating a work of art expecting mastery during a short time frame can cause frustration for many individuals. My PhD dissertation explored creative risk-taking as a method to overcoming artistic apprehension, and I have much to share on that topic. My research is valuable to me in providing ways to lead my art workshops, as well as to guide my own artistic endeavors. Creative Atmosphere I tend to paint in isolation, and I marvel at how time slips away while I am engrossed in the creative process. I have a home studio in which I do the majority of my painting. I paint outdoors, called painting en plein air, which challenges me to paint quickly because light and environmental conditions change quickly. Experience in plein air painting positively impacts my travel experiences, as taking time to render even a quick sketch while touring

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prompts me to be present and truly experience what is before me. I also maintain a downtown Spearfish studio and gallery space where I work publicly, as well as where I share my love of art by leading adult art education workshops. Production Timeframe In my most recent paintings, I am working large-scale; therefore, it takes months to complete a piece. I tend to work on two or more pieces at a time in order to keep my approach fresh with each painting. Therefore, it is difficult to identify how long an individual painting takes to complete. A painting is finished when it is finished! Knowing when to stop is one of the skills that I stress when working with students. Stopping at the right time is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of painting. The Evolution When looking at my artwork over my lifetime, I can see the evolutionary steps in the process to where I am currently at artistically. Thought processes, along with subject matter and intent, develop over time. What came before impacts my most recent artwork, thus making it my favorite. That said, I do have several paintings that are not for sale that I have chosen to hang in my home. These paintings have significance to me because of the subject matter, the technical skills they exhibit, or how the art inspires me by being in my living environment. These are much the same motivational factors that people who purchase original artwork share. Inspiration Because I love pattern and texture, the art of Gustav Klimt and Edouard Bonnard inspire my artwork. I love the immediacy and color use of Impressionist artists and I also

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Artist Profile

am drawn to John Singer Sargent’s watercolor paintings. Sargent did a series of paintings of light and water while he traveled in Venice, Italy. Because of his paintings, I found myself totally engaged in that same imagery when I had the opportunity to study art in Italy while earning my PhD, during a University of Arizona study abroad program. For more information about the artwork of Bonnie Halsey Dutton, visit www.bonniehalseydutton.com. BHW


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GIRL GIVES BACK

DARBI HUNT By Audrea Amstutz

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The Girl Gives Back


Darbi Hunt’s mission to help children reach their full potential goes beyond her position as

the birth-to-five learning specialist at the South Dakota Statewide Family Engagement Center (SFEC). It’s due to her being surrounded by a strong support system and family of elementary school teachers and librarians. Hunt’s mother was an elementary school teacher and a stay-at-home mom at the time when she discovered her daughter’s interest in reading. “I learned my letters by watching Sesame Street...and my mom didn’t really realize that was exactly how I did it. One day, I told her I was going to write a letter, and she showed me how to write it,” said Hunt. Her interest in reading and expanding her knowledge grew with every book she read and every trip to her local library. Hunt said her mother was very involved in making sure she had enough books to read and opportunities to expand her knowledge. Her passion for helping others became apparent as young as elementary school, when she made efforts and advocated for her fellow classmates to have a fair and equal chance at opportunities. “My mom told me that it was almost annoying how worried I was about making sure everyone had a fair chance in school. I really wanted those kids and families that didn’t get the resources and opportunities to reach their full potential," said Hunt. UNITED WAY OF THE BLACK HILLS United Way of the Black Hills first hit Hunt’s radar when she enrolled her twins, Jericka and Gaven, in the Dolly Parton Imagination Library program. The program mails an age-appropriate book each month to children between the ages of birth to five. “I saw the value of the Imagination Library for my children that I decided to donate to United Way,” said Hunt. Hunt started off as a donor, participating in Jeans Day and giving to the Imagination Library fund. As Hunt grew in her career, she met coworkers and staff who were also involved with United Way of the Black Hills. After observing the impact the programs United Way of the Black Hills offered had on her children, she became an advocate and board member for United Way of the Black Hills in Sturgis.

The Girl Gives Back

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“I appreciate that United Way looks at a variety of potential agencies and determines the needs in the community. We are trying to bring agencies together, not trying to reinvent the wheel,” said Hunt. Hunt enjoys exploring new opportunities to promote third grade level reading literacy and to help children reach their full potential through educational opportunities. “It is said that children learn to read until third grade; then they read to learn. It is essential that children should be reading proficient by third grade so they can expand their knowledge,” said Hunt. Hunt encourages anyone interested in volunteering or becoming advocate to consider what he/she is passionate about and his/her strengths to determine

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The Girl Gives Back

the right fit. She also encourages those who are interested to call the 2-1-1 helpline for opportunities (a UWBH funded agency). “Everyone needs to give in different ways. If we all did the same thing, it wouldn’t help as much,” said Hunt. BHW



Photo by Tayhart Photography 38

Woman in Business


Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart

A single moment can change the course of your life. That’s what Kimberly Tilsen-Brave Heart found out two years ago. Kim, now 38, was in her groove, being a wife, mother, and entrepreneur. She was running her business, Painted Skye Management, helping Native Americans like herself achieve their dreams of running their businesses by developing sound business plans. Her husband Brandon, now 35, was working at KLJ Engineering & Planning Services as an engineer tech. One day at KLJ, a dump truck got loose on a job site. Brandon had stepped away for a second, but if he hadn’t, he would have been smashed and, most likely, killed. If it sounds like a dramatic scene from a movie, it’s because that’s exactly how it was. Brandon was understandably upset that night, and he suffered a grand mal seizure. He went through testing and was prescribed seizure medications. The incident required him to slow down, and he and Kim reflected on their life together. The couple sat down and asked each other, “What brings you joy?” The answer was 1. Being together, 2. Their kids, and 3. Food. “We’ve always loved cooking together. It’s the common denominator that connects us as a couple,” said Kim, a glimmer in her eye. Remembering their love of food, cooking, and creativity led the couple to start a new chapter in their lives—one where they could focus not only on togetherness but connecting with other people as well. That’s how Et-i-quette Catering Co. in downtown Rapid City was born. Kim and Brandon recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of their catering company on Dec. 6, 2019. The business is 100-percent Native owned and operated, specializing in full-service catering for

By Molly Barari Woman in Business

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weddings, special events, office parties—you name it. They serve a minimum of 10 people and a maximum of 400. They also offer cooking classes, private in-home cooking lessons, meal planning and preparation for busy families, and even special event planning. It all starts at The Table, Kim’s favorite part of their storefront. The Table is a long, lightly-colored wooden table, which is the centerpiece at Et-i-quette Catering. It is meant to be an elegant, warm, and welcoming space for everyone who enters to sit down, share ideas, and taste delicious and nutritious food. Speaking of food, Kim and Brandon believe in cooking and serving creatively-prepared food that nourishes the soul. They are also sensitive to customers with allergies and can accommodate gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan requests. “Our food is 100 percent organic, and we use as many local and regional ingredients as we can,” said Kim. That means their buffalo meat comes from the Pine Ridge reservation. Their seafood, cured meats, and cheeses come from Dakota Seafood and a regional farm in Colorado. Their organic fruits and vegetables come from local farmers.

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Woman in Business


“We believe that quality matters and is important to our

When she’s not working or busy with the kids’ activities,

bodies, and we like to honor our heritage by infusing

Kim is obsessed—yes, obsessed—with fashion, so much

indigenous knowledge into our food,” explained Kim,

so that she is a National Diversity Ambassador with

whose ancestry includes Oglala Sioux Lakota and Jewish.

Stella and Dot. The women’s fashion company offers

Kim was born on the Pine Ridge reservation and lived there until age six, when her family moved to the Twin Cities. After being raised in the Twin Cities, Kim went to Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., for college, where she studied economics with a specialty in entrepreneurship. Brandon is currently a full-time student studying

the opportunity for women to start their businesses by selling Stella and Dot clothing and accessories. As a National Diversity Ambassador, Kim is involved in marketing for Stella and Dot. She had the opportunity to travel to New York City to shoot a commercial and other advertisements for the company.

business administration at Oglala Lakota College, where

For Kim, part of the allure of being a National

he will graduate in May.

Diversity Ambassador is promoting a positive image

Kim’s journey to becoming a professional chef is an interesting one. She was raised by a single father, and when she was eight years old, she went to her grandmother and asked for cooking lessons so she could help provide for her family. “I wanted to start cooking so that we wouldn’t starve!” Kim joked. “Presentation always meant something to my grandmother, so now it means a lot to me. Food should be beautiful!” Kim was molded to have a strong work ethic growing up, so she’s never been afraid of hard work. It’s also a quality she wants to instill in her three children with Brandon, whom they affectionately refer to as the “3 P’s”. They have a son, Payton Skye, 13; and daughters Paloma, 8, and Pia Leona, 2.

of Native Americans. “Being in the spotlight helps give us visibility,” she said. “We deserve to have our voices heard.” Her passion for her heritage is why Kim is still very involved in Painted Skye Management, where she assists Native Americans with starting their businesses. Kim says the secret to Et-i-quette Catering’s success is that she’s always had a reliable partner to lean on in Brandon—and vice versa. Kim and Brandon have been together for over 14 years, and they knew they were soul mates shortly after they met. “We were both at the Oglala Nation Powwow, and Brandon was singing there with his Lakota drum group. It was love at first sight,” said Kim, her cherry lips twisting into a smile. “I walked up to him, introduced myself, and handed him my business card.” After that, they were inseparable.

Woman in Business

41


“I felt connected to her pretty much instantly,” said Brandon. “We knew we wanted to build a life together.” The pair were married three months after meeting. The wedding took place at the Sunken Gardens in Saint Paul, MN. Kim had stood in that same spot as a young girl and knew she would get married there someday. Her wish came true. “We are willing to take courageous steps together, like starting the catering business, because we love and trust each other,” she said. “When we create food for other people, we want them to feel all the blessings and love we put into it.” BHW Photo by Tayhart Photography

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Charcuterie By Molly Barari

44

Book Review


Charcuterie. You may have noticed the word popping up on menus across the Black Hills and thought it sounded too fancy to order until you read the description: cheese, meat, fruit, crackers. But don’t let the simple ingredients fool you; charcuterie is a cheese plate with pizzazz!

Charcuterie boards... they look impressive and taste great

Kim Tilsen-Brave Heart, owner

of

Et-i-quette

Catering, is a “charcuterie savant,” according to her husband, Brandon Brave Heart. One of the most popular items on their

menu is a charcuterie board, and they even host classes to teach people how to master the art behind the charcuterie. “Charcuterie boards are awesome to bring with you to a dinner or event because they look impressive and taste great,” said Kim. To build your own charcuterie board at home, you’ll want to start with a wooden or marble board as your foundation. The board should measure 16-18 inches in length and about 6-8 inches in width. Cooking stores sell special charcuterie boards that are optimal for food safety. Kim starts with a small container of marinated olives on her charcuterie board, which she marinates in-house. She then adds two different cured meats, such as peppered salami and Italian soppressata (a thinly-sliced pork meat). She recommends having three cheeses on the charcuterie board. Her picks include a soft cheese, such as a three-cream Brie or whipped goat cheese; a Chevre cheese, which is a velvety smooth French goat cheese; and a unique cheese, such as something with chives or other herbs infused into the cheese.

Book Review

45


Then, it’s time to fill in your board with extras, such as

Kim thinks charcuterie boards are becoming more popular

nuts, fruits, and crackers. Fruits can include anything that

in the Black Hills because they are a way for people to

pleases your palate, but popular choices are dried apricots,

experience myriad flavors in one sitting.

mangos, sliced pears, and grapes. As far as crackers, there should be varieties representing different textures on the

“People are also craving and appreciating more

charcuterie board. Kim likes a mixture of rosemary crackers

sophisticated foods,” added Brandon.

for their hearty quality, as well as Parmesan crisps for their light airiness. “The key is to include a variety of colors and textures on your charcuterie board,”

The key is to include a variety of colors and textures on your charcuterie board

she said. “Texture is so

That’s why Kim has been known to add fig jam and blueberries to the board to complement the Brie, as well as other savory touches here and there. But we won’t give away all her secrets.

important to our overall sensory experience and can impact the way we perceive

Part of the fun of the charcuterie board is that it’s meant to

the flavor of the food.”

reflect your own flair and tastes, so the only limit you have is the board itself. Pile it high with personality. BHW


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Fall & Winter Fitness

Tips For Keeping Fit in the Cooler Seasons by Kimberly Blaker

48

Health & Fitness


When the weather turns colder, days get shorter, and sweaters are pulled back out of the closet, it can be a struggle to keep up healthy habits. During the fall and winter months, health and fitness routines often take a backseat to staying warm and cozy. After a few months of hibernation and holiday indulgences, the pounds, lack of energy, and health consequences set in, reminding us of those long-forgotten fitness goals. It can be frustrating to feel like you're starting back at square one. Instead of falling into this yearly cycle, read on for ways to avoid the fall and winter fitness slump and to keep focused on staying fit. Find an accountability partner or group This is one of the best ways to stay consistent with your fitness goals. It's much easier to blow off a workout and curl up with a warm drink and blanket if you're only accountable to yourself. Finding a partner or a community with similar goals is a great way to keep yourself on track. You can give and receive support, find ways to stay fit together, and remind each other of the benefits of keeping fit. While in-person support is helpful, it isn't always easy to find. But social media makes it much easier to join like-minded people in a virtual community. Do a quick search on social media sites and you'll find fitness groups for all levels and interests. These communities provide various ways to keep you accountable. They're a safe place to share struggles and successes, provide moral support to one another, and share ideas or tips. Join a gym or class Another way to increase the odds of staying fit through the colder months is by joining a gym or fitness class. This requires a financial commitment, which may be an excellent external motivator. Gyms offer many amenities to support fitness goals. These include personal training, a variety of equipment, and often classes you can explore for new ways to stay fit. Some fitness centers even have extras like childcare, rock climbing walls, saunas, and heated pools. Such perks may help get you out the door on colder days. If you like to socialize, fitness classes are also a great way to find a community of people who share the same goals. There are all kinds of fitness classes and studios like dance, yoga, and CrossFit. Many offer trial periods. So, if there's a type of activity you've always wanted to try, you can do it with little

Health & Fitness

49


risk and the potential for a big reward. Even many libraries offer free fitness classes. Work Out at Home Maybe braving the cold and dark sounds like too much, or working out with other people isn't your bliss. If so, there are many ways to get in an effective workout at home. Investing in a home gym is one way to stay active through the colder months. If you have space and money, particularly if other family members want an at-home workout too, purchase the appropriate equipment to fit your needs. It doesn't need to be elaborate. Just a set of hand weights or a kettlebell can be enough to get you started if you don't want to commit to large or expensive equipment. However, sizeable used equipment can often be found for practically nothing on Craigslist and elsewhere online. You can also find thousands of exercise videos, DVDs, and written plans on the internet, through your local cable provider, or at your local library. There are also video game systems with fun workouts like the Wii Fit or dancing games. Whatever type of exercise or fitness plan you can think of, there are likely at least a few resources out there so you can do it at home. These include exercises with or without equipment. Many are designed for or take into consideration working out in small spaces or with limited time.

50

Health & Fitness


Keep it Simple If you're starting from scratch or lack motivation, find small ways to incorporate healthy fitness habits into your daily routine. For example, take stairs instead of the elevator, park your car farther away in the lot, and go for a walk during lunch. You can also start by taking an extra 15 minutes before your shower to do some quick exercises. A daily routine could include bodyweight moves like squats, push-ups, and planks. These can have a significant impact on your fitness when done consistently. Regardless of your fitness goals, you can stay on track throughout the colder months if you find what works best to keep you motivated and consistent. BHW

Health & Fitness

51


Making resolutions is no way to start a new year. Vowing to get fit, get organized, and spend more time with your family is a lot of pressure to put on yourself—and your family. As a morning person, I don’t think staying out late

In Appreciation of Appreciation

New Year’s Eve and waking up late and grumpy on New Year’s Day is the best way to start a new year either. If I see the New Year in at all, it’s because I woke

by Dorothy Rosby

up at midnight to use the bathroom. Finishing off Christmas treats is another bad way to start a new year. I know how it happens, though. You resolve to stop eating junk food, but before you can do that, you have to rid your home of every unhealthy food item and, naturally, the best way to do that is to eat it. All those together don’t add up to my least favorite way to start a new year: Taking down my Christmas decorations. I probably should do it in December, but I don’t think it’s a good way to end a year either. I’ve found the best way to start a new year, though, and that is to think back on the year that was and remember every good thing about it. Some years are harder than others for sure, but no matter what our circumstances, there’s always something to be thankful for. There are the little things (baked goods, 70’s rock ‘n’ roll, the way bananas have their own handles). There are the big things (family, friends, the fact that all those people who say “I don’t have a thing to wear” never go around naked). And there are the bad things that could have been worse things; for example, I’m grateful I wasn’t going very fast the day I pulled away from the gas pump with the nozzle still in my

52

Humor


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53


tank. And that I didn’t get hurt when I accidentally stepped on the gas while my arm was still in my mailbox. And that in both cases, nobody was watching.

1. Have I recently said, “Well, that went well”? If the answer is yes, I probably have something to be thankful for.

Starting the year with gratitude inspired me to make just

When only half a piece of paper came out of my printer, I was

one New Year’s resolution. In 2020, I will develop an attitude

deeply grateful to the nice man in some faraway land who

of gratitude, a habit of thankfulness, an appreciation of

talked me through getting the other half out. Just before I

appreciation. Toward that end, I’ve tried keeping a gratitude

hung up, I thanked him and said, “That went well,” because

journal, a daily accounting of three or four things I’m grateful

his method was clearly better than the next one I was going

for. It’s harder than I thought it would be. I’m tired and

to try: a crowbar.

cranky at the end of the day, almost as tired and cranky as I am at the beginning of the day. So I’ve created a checklist to prompt me when I’m having trouble coming up with things to write about. Feel free to try it yourself.

54

My Gratitude Checklist

Humor

One caveat, though. Sometimes it’s best to keep quiet and save it for the gratitude journal. For example, if a highway patrolman gives me a warning when I deserve a ticket, and I say, “Well, that went well,” he might reconsider.


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2. Have I said “whew” lately? There’s something else for

long nap. I love chocolate, prime rib, and supreme pizza.

the gratitude journal. Whew! I’m thankful that when my

And I love diet cola and unsweetened iced tea, because I

frying pan caught fire, it only destroyed lunch and not my

love balance in all things.

entire kitchen. And that I saw my fitness tracker lying in the snow before I shoveled it up. And that when I accidentally walked into a men’s restroom, no one was using it.

5. Is there a rose in that thorn bush? It’s easy to be grateful when traffic lights turn green as I approach and parking spots open up as I enter the lot. But there are

3. What am I taking for granted? This question brings

days when the world feels like a birdcage with me lining

to mind all sorts of things I’m grateful for: pain relievers

the bottom. That’s when being grateful takes more effort,

and comfortable shoes, cruise control and the Hallmark

but it’s still possible.

mysteries channel, microwaves and the little pop-up thingy in turkeys. I wish they made those for meatloaf. 4. What do I just love? I love the sound of a baby’s laughter, the call of a red breasted nuthatch and a good

Let me show you how it’s done

Yesterday, I was put on hold for the longest time in recorded history. Here’s the rose: I put my phone on speaker and folded two loads of laundry and made, ate, and cleaned up after lunch while I waited. Recently, I wandered around my house for half an hour, cellphone in hand, looking for my reading glasses. And when I finally found them, I realized I’d laid my phone down somewhere on my journey. So, I wandered all over my house again looking for it. On the bright side, I racked up 3500 steps on my Fitbit. And then there was the day I spilled an entire glass of cranberry juice on my newly cleaned beige carpet. I ranted a little—okay, a lot. Then I remembered that even then I had something to be grateful for. Just days before, my carpet cleaner had told me how effective Windex is

56

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57


58

Humor


on carpet stains. I don’t think either one of us expected that I’d need the information quite so soon. But what luck. (Dorothy would be grateful if someone would come put her Christmas decorations away for her.) BHW

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59


H O W O U R F R I D AY P I Z Z A N I G H T

HELPS US CONNEC T WITH OUR BY KATHRYN STREETER

GROWING KIDS

OH, FRIDAY. WE’RE GROWING OLD TOGETHER, YOU AND I. FROM EACH JOYFUL WEEKLY AWARENESS — IT’S FRIDAY! — THAT ERUPTS AROUND OUR HOME TO THE SLEEPINESS THAT ENDS THE EVENING, YOU’VE BEEN THERE LIKE AN OLD FRIEND. LONG AGO, YOU WATCHED AS THE LITTLE KIDS CAME ALONG, ENCOURAGING US AS NEW PARENTS TO ESTABLISH A FAMILY TRADITION TO END THE WEEK. WE WANTED SOMETHING THAT INVITED THE KIDS’ PARTICIPATION, AND SO IT WAS THAT YOU BECAME SYNONYMOUS WITH HOMEMADE-PIZZA-AND-MOVIE NIGHT. 60

Family


The predictability offers a gentle rhythm to the week, like a

You know it’s time to let the yeast mixture nap, and I loosely

much-anticipated warm seat before a fireplace, a safe landing

cover it with a tea-towel. The mystery is hidden, growing in its

from the tempest of work and school.

dark, warmish world. I toss 3 ½ cups of flour into a separate mixing bowl, and sprinkle with salt.

The thing that chokes me up is that my kids are now teenagers and, even so, they anticipate this beloved tradition, rather than trying to flee the house for better things. Originally I would prepare the pizza dough using a bread machine. Back in the day, the bread machine was a hot kitchen accessory and a huge help to me when I had toddlers tearing around the kitchen. I would throw in the ingredients and hit the start button. Over time, I burned through three machines and eventually decided to go old-school and make the dough by hand. Repetition is the best teacher, and today you’ll smile when you see me mechanically reaching for my Pyrex measuring cup. You know I’ve done this countless times, and your eyes follow my right hand opening the door of the refrigerator and my left grabbing the yeast. It happens in a flash, and now I’ve tapped the faucet lever to its downward position and the water is gushing, changing from cold to warm. It doesn’t surprise you that I eschew regular measuring

When I lift the towel, the yeast mixture has percolated to

spoons and lift out a spoon from the silverware drawer.

a frothy-topped liquid. Turning my attention to the large

You blinked and now the Pyrex cup has a package of yeast,

bowl, I add some drops of oil to a depression in the middle

a couple teaspoons of sugar, straight from the sugar bowl.

of the flour mixture before slowly pouring the yeast-water

I grab the whisk and fill the glass cup with warm water to

solution into this well. I stir with a large spoon. You watch as I

the one-cup mark before turning off the faucet. I watch it

methodically remove my jewelry before grabbing the dough.

begin foaming on its own, whisking vigorously to completely

I flip it over, punching and pinching the mass, helping it form

dissolve the yeast and sugar.

a cohesive dough-ball.

Family

61


I started the dough in the morning, and it is

Happy hour is well upon us. Shall we have a

puffy and pregnant by dinnertime. It’s easy.

glass of wine to complete this final step? The rolling, smoothing, thinning out to two circles,

The hard part is the memories that mysteri-

ready for whatever will land on their respective

ously loosen themselves from the dough and

stages. Today my teens can do all this and

float around me, reminders of times forever

more on their own, and they experiment with

past, like when little pudgy hands joined me

cheese-stuffed crusts. They know how to use

in that bowl.

the back of a spoon to smooth out a generous scoop of tomato sauce, followed by a sprinkle

EASY PIZZA DOUGH 1 C . WA R M WAT E R 1 PA C K A G E YEAST 2 TSP SUGAR 3 ½ C F LO U R 1 T S P S A LT 2 TBSP OLIVE OIL 62

Family

Mommy, I want to touch it! I want to hit it,

of basil, oregano, garlic and salt. Next, a blan-

too! Can I taste it?

ket of mozzarella. And, finally, the pepperoni.

Taste it? Yucky! Dough is yucky before it

Once upon a time, the kids clamored to place

is baked.

the pepperoni on the pizza.

I let them try it anyway. And they liked it —

Mommy, can I decorate the pizza?

straight out of the big dough bowl. The oven has been warming to the fiery I see a flurry of family texts. Anyone have a

temperature of 485 degrees. The low rack

movie suggestion? This part of our Friday

is the best for baking pizzas and into the

nights used to be easy because the parents

heated cavern they go, two perfect pizzas,

would choose.

side-by-side.

Tonight we’re watching The Incredibles!

We stand around, teens and parents, talking

Bolt! Up!

and laughing, watching and waiting, settling on a movie.

Now it’s a bit more complicated, trying to find movies that are compelling enough to

The pizzas emerge, and I cut generous

satisfy our teens’ thirsty quick minds, with-

portions.

out being inappropriate. Or stupid. Or slow. Or something.

The house smells and tastes like you, Friday. BHW

Eventually, one teen arrives home, another trickles in and, finally, my husband arrives.

Originally published by The Washington Post and reprinted with permission


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63


January Jaunts 1

2

3

4

5

6

7

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14

15

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17

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19

20 23

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12

13

38

39

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59

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ACROSS 1. Addams Family mailman 6. Sitters make them 10. Pooch in “The Thin Man” 14. ____Zellweger 15. Mine entrance 16. Unhearing

Crossword

11

22

21

29

28

64

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17. Actor Alan... 18. It’s between Emerson and Dyess 19. Sturgis Rd. Japanese restaurant 20. Classic farce opening at Black Hills Community Theatre in late January 23. Film special effects abbr. 26. Firehouse Roughcut ---27. “Yerma” playwright

28. It begins mid-January in Rapid City 32. Lakers great Shaq 33. One-time Trump lawyer Roy 34. Baby bird sound 35. Sartorially savvy 37. Rudner or Moreno 41. Office correspondence 42. Larson of the Black Hills Institute of Geological Research 43. It includes music, pub crawl, kids’ yoga, and more! 48. Musical upbeat 49. ---- Rapid City (community activist org.) 50. Writer’s submission, for short 51. “Breakin’ the Blues ----” (Hill City event) 55. “Livin’ La Vida ----” 56. Baxter or Hathaway 57. Clean the slate 61. Teheran’s land 62. Leave speechless 63. Detection device 64. Nuisance 65. Throw 66. Packs away

DOWN 1. La la lead-in 2. That girl 3. Printer fluid 4. Simon or Armstrong 5. ---- Beadle Elementary School 6. Blue ---- Construction (5114 Charmwood Drive)


7. First man 8. ---- Tree Inn (Ellsworth Air force Base) 9. Like a ninja 10. Cling (to) 11. Rap party? 12. Sierra Nevada tree 13. Distant 21. Manhattan campus, in brief 22. Dodge ---- (1120 East Omaha) 23. Season’s yield 24. Kelly or Autry 25. “Understood”

29. Spigot 30. Take steps 31. “To be or ---- to be” 35. KOTA program 36. Actress Dolenz 37. Grid ump 38. Agenda point 39. Harper of “Tender Mercies” 40. Part of BA 41. 1502, in Roman numerals 42. Likes better 43. Pakistan metropolis

44. Author Jong and soap vixen Kane 45. Tilting 46. Mementos 47. Alt rock pioneer Brian 51. Prune 52. Adjacent 53. Burden 54. Greek group 58. Hubbub 59. Witnessed 60. 80's Clooney sitcom & 90's Clooney drama

51. “Breakin’ the Blues ---” (Hill City event) Crossword

65


1

2

3

4

Answers - January Jaunts 5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

t h i n g l a p s a s t a 14 15 16 r e n e e a d i t d e a f 18 19 17 a r k i n d a n e h a n a 22 20 21 L e ndm e a t e n o r 25 23 24 26 27 c g i r y e L o r c a 31 29 30 28 r e s t a u r a n t w e e k 32 33 o n e a l c ohn 34 38 39 40 35 36 37 p e e p n a t t y r i t a 41 42 m e mo p e t e r 46 47 43 44 45 L e a dw i n t e r f e s t 50 48 49 a r s i s o N e m s s 51 52 54 53 c h i l i c o o k o f f 56 57 59 60 55 58 l o c a a nn e e R a S E 61 62 63 i r a n s t u n r a d a r 64 65 66 p e s t t o s s s t ow s

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