WINTER 2014
BERYLAYNYOUNG.COM
NEW YEAR, NEW CAMERA • SNOW DAYS • KIDTOGRAPHIE
“Snow was falling, so much like stars filling the dark trees that one could easily imagine its reason for being was nothing more than prettiness.� ~ Mary Oliver
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A few weeks ago was one of those days. You know the ones.
what’s inside: 5 PRO TIPS new year, new camera 9 THE MOMTOGRAPHER’S SURVIVAL GUIDE how to find time for what’s important to you 10 A DAY IN THE LIFE a housebound winter.. in pictures 13 STORY BOARD a Daddy-Daughter-Donut-Date 15 THE MOMTOGRAPHER’S JOURNAL all you need is love 21 JUST FOR FUN kidtographie 23 COME LEARN WITH ME class offerings at berylaynyoung.com 24 SCRAPBOOK we’re just about ready for Spring! Momtographie Magazine | 2014 all content and images © Beryl Ayn Young unless otherwise noted
Where fear gets wrapped in a neat little package of guilt and negativity. It was seasonably warm outside, I had a mountain of work to do. My little one had just woken up from her afternoon nap. Dinner time was creeping closer. I was on a deadline. I didn’t have time for outside. I felt guilty, but she was nicely playing with her toys and watching a cartoon while I fiercely typed away at the computer keys. Until she wasn’t anymore. It’s funny how preschoolers can go from occupied to not in a matter of seconds. On that unseasonably warm day in December, I really had no desire to get us all dressed to play outside (I was busy! I was tired! I had work to do! Dinner to make! A house to clean!) but I knew getting some fresh air would help us both reset. However, I also knew if we went outside she’d want to play “pretend,” which as sad as it is this mom has such a tough time getting down with (anyone else?!). As a proud “momtographer” who often uses a camera as comfort and self-care, I brought it outdoors with me to combat the fear of imaginative play and to distract myself from the work and deadlines I was leaving behind. The camera would nourish me as she was nourished by bare feet and comfy clothes, collecting rocks, and digging her toes into the dirt. Trading in a career to become a “work at home mom” in the last year hasn’t been easy, and has brought forth many fears. They haven’t been the expected fears either. The ones I anticipated would surface from leaving a set paycheck behind. There have been much more complicated fears of being able to “cut it” as a mother too. The perfectionist side of my personality wants to know that I’m doing this stay at home mom thing “right.” But there always seems to be something making me feel like I’m doing it all wrong. My logical brain knows there is no right or wrong. But I swear motherhood eats my heart alive some days. From everything I read online leading me to believe that if I’m not interested in going outside and playing make believe, if I’m not excited about creating elaborate art projects, if I’m not concerned about feeding her organic everything, if I let her
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watch a little bit too much TV, or if don’t getting pregnant again soon and produce sibling, that I must be doing it all wrong. It’s these thoughts trigger my fall down a rabbit hole of guilt. Especially on those days when I’m too tired to play hide and seek, or too busy cooking dinner to get out the art supplies, or too broke to buy organic ground beef, or too content with the quiet house to get pregnant again. Whew, fear driven thoughts are exhausting—right?! I know a lot is out there trying to combat “the mommy wars” and our fear around motherhood, but I realized something the other day. The war oftentimes isn’t between two moms... ...this is actually a war we’re waging on ourselves. We are tired, and scared, and lonely. We are losing the essence of who we are each time we neglect our self care and instead size ourselves up against the mom next door who seems to have it all together. We are weak when we’re too afraid to admit that it’s ok to be so exhausted that we let our kids watch another cartoon so we can re-energize by connecting with friends on Facebook for 20 minutes. We are strong when we can recognize our fears, love them, and love ourselves in spite of them. We are heroes when we take our kids outside to play when we’re out our very worst most tired state of being and can find a way to tolerate 10 minutes of the pretend play we loathe so very much. The good news is, being faced with my own mommy fears and insecurities has taught me so much more about myself as a person and as a mom. I’m positive, patient, calm, quiet, introspective, creative, and loving. I feel at peace when we’re snuggled up together reading books. Or when we’re chatting together over hot chocolates at Starbucks. Or when we’re singing the Frozen soundtrack at the top of our lungs. It is likely that I’ll never have an organized craft room, enjoy hours upon hours of imaginative play, have a desire to throw away all of my technology, or keep a completely organic GMO free kitchen. It’s important to remember that we’re all a work in progress and that discovering our strengths through self-care can be the most powerful weapon against fear. Pick up a camera, and it might help you connect with yourself and your kids simultaneously. Watch how it can instantly nourish your soul and turn an afternoon filled with the negative mommy self talk, stress, and guilt into one filled with laughter, confidence and pride. The proof will reveal itself in the photos. Especially when the image staring back at you displays the healthy, happy, and loving eyes of a little girl whose mommy just asked to her pretend magical green and blue fairies are sparkling inside the the lens of her mommy’s camera.
xo Beryl PS: I’d love to know what you think of the magazine. You’re my inspiration, so if there’s something you’d like to see in future issues, please let me know!
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pro tip:
The images on these pages are from that same unseasonably warm day in December I write about in my opening letter. The one when working-mom-at-home guilt was overwhelming me, and I had no desire to go outside (deadlines! dinner!) let alone play with rocks. But I show them here to prove the point that when you follow the principles I outline on these pages, well, sometimes your camera and the moments it preserves can be the best therapy.
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NEW YEAR...
new camera?
LET’S GET STARTED! Are you one of the many moms rocking a brand new DSLR in this new year? You’re likely LOVING what it can do, but are still struggling to figure out how to make it live up to it’s full potential. I know all of those buttons and settings can quickly become overwhelming. So here are my top five tips to help you stay less frustrated and start learning how to using your new toy to it’s fullest potential.
1. FIND THE RIGHT LIGHT What many new DSLR owners don’t understand, is how their camera is really just a big light box. Even the biggest, fanciest, DSLRs will struggle to take gorgeous portraits if the right lighting isn’t present, whether it be from the sun, a window, or fancy flashes and studio setups. I’m a minimalist when it comes to my picture taking, so I opt for natural light whenever I can. That means looking for large open windows, beautiful sunny days, or patches of open shade. If you’re in need of even more tips for finding the right light check out my most pinned post about that very topic right here.
2. SET YOUR INTENTION Sometimes you won’t have the ideal light. And your kids will be doing something cute. And all your photos will all end up blurry. It happens. We all have those ‘missed moments’ in our photo taking. The more you can begin to realize your
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purpose behind your photo sessions the easier it will become to release the guilt when a photo op is less than ideal. There are days and times I opt to use flash because I know I want to capture a snap shot even in bad light. And then there are other times when I plan a photo op well in advance because I know its something that I want preserved beautifully. In fact I oftentimes pre-plan holiday photos for Halloween, birthdays, and Christmas. I shoot the important portraits before the big events take place. By taking the photos hours or even days before a big day I ensure I can actually be present with my family during the real holiday or event.
3. BOOST LIGHT CAPABILITIES WITH ISO When light isn’t ideal, ISO is the secret ingredient that can help. It will give the light that IS available a boost, brightening your pictures and slightly speeding up your camera too. ISO is typically the first technical setting I look to adjusting when I’m
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choosing my settings and I base what the number I pick on how much of a boost I need. If I don’t need a light boost I choose a low number, if I do I go for something higher, and when it’s REALLY dark that’s when I’ll use some of the highest settings.
4. NAIL THAT BLURRY BOKEH BACKGROUND WITH APERTURE The number one thing new momtographers want to know about is how to get that signature blurry background in their photos. The technical setting that makes that possible is aperture. Aperture is multifaceted though because not only does it control background blur, it also controls the amount of light coming in through your lens. Low aperture numbers are key to letting in lots of light AND getting blur in your background. Those low numbers paired with separating your kiddo 10 feet or so from their background will get you shooting some
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beautiful blurry background goodness in no time.
5. TRY A/AV MODE Any of the letters on your camera (P, S/Tv, A/Av, M) are considered manual modes. The big difference is the level of support your camera gives you in choosing certain technical details. A/Av is my favorite ‘learning mode’ for new momtographers. In this mode you get to select your ISO and Aperture. But the camera will choose the shutter speed to balance out your exposure triangle. This mode ensures you have creative control over light and focus and background blur (bokeh), but you leave the speed of the clicking up to the camera. Still want more? Need to finally conquer the exposure triangle and figure out how ISO and Aperture and Shutter Speed work together? Give this video a quick watch. It’ll get you straightened out and rocking that new camera in no time!
Pssst... I’ve got more tips here! Here a two more pro tips from my Find Your Light series, all on the blog. Just click and learn! Using natural reflectors to enhance your photos // read Holiday sparkles, orbs & shapes // read And if you don’t have a DSLR but are ready to make the upgrade? I’ve got buying tips here.
Winter 2014
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How to find time for what’s important to you out before you even get to return the message. That person from your volunteer committee who had a question might have figured it out by the time you get back to her.
BY MEGAN FLATT
The biggest thing I hear my clients say (and heck, I say it sometimes too) is: “I’d like to __________, but I don’t have the time.” No kidding. If there is one thing moms are short on (besides maybe sleep) it is time. And the first thing that falls off most moms every increasing to-do list, is the things that are most personal and most fulfilling. So, whether you need to find more time to launch your dream business, or have more time for a hobby like photography or just set aside time for self care. Here are three tips to help you find more time and get it all done. LUMP TASKS TOGETHER. While we like to pride ourselves on being great multitaskers, research actually shows the human brain can only do one task at a time. When we ‘multi task’ is our brain has to rapidly switch between tasks. We may think we are getting more done, but in reality when our brain has to switch gears, we actually slow down. I like to think about multi tasking a different way. By lumping like tasks on your to do list together (both in their actual position on your to do list and in the order you do them,) your brain can stay in one ‘zone’ for a longer period of time. Set aside time during the week to return emails, instead of stopping everything you are doing to instantly reply to an email as it comes in. I find I can power through my responses faster when I am focused. Some things will work themselves
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LIMIT THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO A CERTAIN TASK. I just spent the better part of an hour browsing Esty for a gift after I found one I really liked, just in case I found something better. Sometimes you have to decide how much time you are going to allow a task to take, and then stick to that. Give yourself 20 minutes to browse Etsy or 30 minutes to write your blog post or 15 minutes to pick up the house. You’ll be amazed how much you’ll actually be able to get done when you have a set (and a small) about of time. DO YOUR MOST IMPORTANT TASKS FIRST (And by important, I mean for you.) Moms are hard wired to take care of everyone else, so as soon as we have some free time we usually start with the tasks everyone else needs us to do: the laundry, the tasks for the school fundraiser or the invitations for the birthday party. We plan to do something for ourselves (like a shower,) but time runs out and our thing falls by the wayside. If we flip that around, and use the tip from above, we can fit more in that is important to us, and get our other tasks done too. If you have two hours before you have to pick your kids up from school, start with editing photos for 30 minutes, or 15 minutes of yoga or a 10 minute shower. You’ll feel better having taken care of yourself and be able to power through the other items on your list with the time you have left. Being a mom is a balancing act for sure, but by making sure YOU are one of the things you are balancing, you will actually get more done and feel more fulfilled in the process. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go hit ‘buy’ on my Etsy gift and go take a shower! Megan Flatt is a Mama Strategist and a wellness expert. She helps busy moms rediscover what fulfills them, and then find the time and energy to pursue that passion…without the guilt! She believes we can give our kids the world, without giving up our own. Meet Megan here.
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HOUSEBOUND
This winter has been keeping us housebound more often than not. We really can’t wait ‘til Spring. But until the snow melts, we’re trying to make the most of our time indoors.
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Winter 2014
“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says “Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.” ~ Lewis Carroll Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass Winter 2014
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pro tip:
consider your perspective. For this shot, I stepped outside of the store. This “outside-looking-in” approach adds to the atmosphere of peeking in on a special Daddy-daughter moment.
I
n each issue of Momotgraphie Magazine, I bring you a new photo storyboard idea. Since it’s February, I’m sharing a recent Daddy-Daughter-Donut-Date. An easy outing with a lot of heart!
Although I love candids (hello Instagram!) I really love telling stories through my photography. Before I pick up my camera, I think about what images will make up the “plot”: how will I introduce the adventure? How will I capture all the main points? How will I conclude? Here are some tips: 1. With each story telling photo session, challenge yourself to take as many images as you can. They’re not all going to turn out... but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take! 2. Snap pictures of your child, but capture the details around them as well. Even a donut bag adds to the fun. 3. Think about the mood you’re trying to capture. Is it light hearted and giddy? Playful? Contemplative? Use that mood to add depth and texture to your images. The emotion will shine through every time!
Winter 2014
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all you need is love An internal battle with loneliness is a frequent struggle in my life. The way I overcome it? Doses of self care, self love, and tending to my most important relationships with family and friends. Loving yourself and loving your life doesn’t have to be limited to one day a year, but since Valentine’s Day is timely, I figured this would be as good a time as any to encourage you to do something this year to take care of you and the ones you love the most. Here are some of the ways I’m doing just that. Hope one or two of them inspire you to embrace love for yourself and others this year too.
1) ENJOY A LITTLE RETAIL THERAPY One of my favorite things to do pre-kiddo was to go walk around the mall, browse, and try on clothes from the sales racks. This was great for my closet, but not so great for my wallet (even with a good deal!) After having Brielle, shopping
Winter 2014
photo: Kristen Kalp
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was just never the same. My body changed which made old favorite stores like walking into a foreign land. Plus my leisurely days of browsing the mall we gone with a baby in tow. When Stitch Fix entered the scene a few months ago friends raved about them, but I was skeptical. You fill out a style profile (where you can even direct their stylists to a Pinterst Board of your favorite styles), give them your sizes, and pick a date. On your scheduled day they deliver you a box full of new clothes which you can try on in the comfort of your own home. Keep what you want, ship back what you don’t (in an easy self address stamped envelope they provide!). It’s $20 to have a box sent, if you keep one item or more they deduct that $20 from your invoice and if you keep everything you get an additional 25% off. So far so good for me, I’m two boxes in, I kept everything in box #1 and 2 pieces from box #2. Yes I am an affiliate for them, but I’d still rave about ‘em even if I was not. If you’ve been thinking about trying Stitch Fix out I highly recommend treating yourself HERE!
Don’t let my somber expression fool you. I dislike shopping, but I love my Stich Fix!
2) SCHEDULE THAT COFFEE DATE
3) TAKE A CLASS
Get out the calendar and make getting together with that friend you’ve been putting off way too long a reality! If I had an extra hour in each of my days I’d love to fill them with coffee dates catching up with friends new and old. My zen is anywhere there is a cozy nook, a warm cup of joe, good conversation, and a sweet treat nearby. Local friends my two favorite local places are Beans in Belfry and Bean Bar. Who wants to meet up this month and be my (belated) Valentine?
I love learning and tackling new skills. Recently I discovered Finch Sewing Studio in a nearby town and am hooked on reconnecting with my love of yarn (hehe….no pun intended). I took one of their recent knitting classes and met some fun new moms, in a coffee shop to boot! I’m also taking A Year of Painting online, which has been a completely uncomfortable yet powerful release. Painting is a completely foreign realm to me and is forcing me to let go of
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my perfectionist mindset and simply create! And, of course there’s also always my classes. My next local Momtographie class is coming up quick — Sunday February 23rd, 2014 — for those of you ready to learn all about those buttons and settings on your DSLR camera.
4) READ A BOOK As a kid I was an avid reader. I can remember spending lazy day days up in my room for HOURS reading book after book in the Baby Sitters Club series. And when Harry Potter came out when I was in college, I’d stay up late in my dorm being a bookworm and reading instead of going out with friends. Somewhere along the path of starting a career and
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becoming a mom, I lost my intense dedication to reading. In December I bought a Kindle Paperwhite and I’ve made it a priority in 2014 to set aside at least 10 minutes per day to devour one chapter of a book. (Usually it’s more because once I start I can’t stop…) I’m currently reading the Divergent series and I’m about halfway through Allegiant. Anyone else read it? I seriously can’t wait for the movie to come out in March!
5) FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN One of the best ways I’ve learned to take of myself is by also caring and tending to my most important relationships, the ones at home with my family. Especially with my #1 partner in crime, my husband. It’s so easy for us to get whisked away
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in the demands of running our home: work, bills, budgets, errands, sleep, rinse, repeat. We’ve been fortunate to have a babysitter we love and trust next door who has been watching Brie since she was teeny tiny. But even our date nights out of the home turned into dinner paired with trips to the grocery store or Target. This year it was time to mix it up a bit and try something new. Inspired by a friend of mine I introduced Brendan to the idea of 2014 being our surprise date year. For these dates we swap months and surprise each other with something ‘new’. A new restaurant, new activity, new place, etc. Just something different and spontaneous, and fun! In January I planned a trip to the local outdoor skating rink. Just last week he planned a trip into the city to see the popular band Karmin play a live show in a small venue. I felt
like I was 20 again! Short on cash? You can still do date night in and plan something unique at home! A new recipe, board game, silly online quizzes, a workout video you can do together (Prancercising anyone?!). Just something that gets you out of old habits and doing something different together. Best part is, as friends have been seeing our dates on Facebook and Instagram they’ve been inspired to start their own surprise date night year too! As we continue to wade through this never-ending winter (at least here on the east coast), I’d love to know— which of these ideas has inspired you to love yourself and your life a bit more today? Tell be about it on Facebook, and then come connect with my on Instagram to keep up with my own adventures in self-care.
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“Snow flurries began to fall and they swirled around people’s legs like house cats. It was magical, this snow globe world.” ~ Sarah Addison Allen The Sugar Queen Winter 2014
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brie
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kidtographie creativity exercises to see the world your your children’s eyes
L
ately I’ve been trying to find more creative activities for my daugher and I to do together behind the lens. As a former elementary school teacher whose expertise was in technology my brain is constantly trying to grasp how to turn any activity, especially those using a device, into a learning activity.
Instead of keeping all these wonderful ideas that bubble to the surface to myself, I decided to begin a new feature here and share them with you too. Are you up for the challenge? Let’s get started!
THIS MONTH’S ACTIVITY: 5 PHOTOS 1) 2) 3) 4)
Grab a camera. Any camera will do, but for the younger kiddos a smartphone or point and shoot might be easiest. Go on a walk with your child(ren) and find 5 things to photograph. Once you identify the object or location you want to take a picture of you should each snap one photo of the same thing. When you’re done, take a peek at your results! Download the photos onto a computer screen or print them out. Discuss. This is probably one of the most important parts of this assignment. See how you can compare and contrast how you each see the world differently. What’s the same and what’s different with your images?
Be sure to celebrate your time together by hanging the images someplace special, and enjoy this moment of easy connection with your family.
Pssst... I’ve got more tips here! Did you get some keepers in your kidtographie sessions? But you’re wondering how to up the “oomph” factor? I’ve got tons of photo editing tips on my blog. Just click and learn! Drab to fab in under 60 seconds // read 5 minute vintage nostalgia editing // read Photo editing sites just for moms // read
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ILLUMINATE (FREE) Self Study Iluminate was designed and developed in honor of our first daughter, Bella Rose, who didn’t live after the 20th week of pregnancy. A completely free, 4-week, self-study class, Illuminate is for women who are grieving the loss of a baby who has died during pregnancy or infancy. Illuminate breaks down the healing tools I used on my own grief journey and offers a creative outlet for women to process their emotions, remember their baby, and find healing behind the lens of a camera. RADIATE will return in Fall 2014 The Radiate e-course will take moms on an incredible 12-week photography and editing journey by re-discovering their inner glow through the lens of a camera, any camera. Layered into the Radiate experience are concrete photo editing skills and techniques that will take photos to an entirely new level and allow moms to rediscover their passions post motherhood. The skills taught during this e-course will open up a whole new world of feeling at ease and confident behind the lens of the camera and invite moms to do some much needed soul-searching, connecting, creating, and editing images that will make their heart radiate with joy. MOMTOGRAPHIE DC/MD/VA February 23, 2014: 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. • Hyatt House, Dulles VA This is my popular jumpstart DSLR class designed with moms in mind! Momtographie DC/MD/VA is customized for families in the Washington Metropolitan area with DSLR cameras who want to take better photos of the special kiddos in their lives. Designed for the busy mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, or uncle on the go, this 4 hour jumpstart course will deliver the basics to get that camera out of AUTO mode and working in any situation. MOMTOGRAPHIE ONLINE will return in Summer 2014 Momtographie Online is a mom’s 6-week recipe to photographic success. It’s designed for both the beginning and intermediate Momtographer alike and will help them to understand the basics and get out of auto mode for good, or perfect the basics and reach a new level of understanding with how a DSLR camera works. Moms who are frustrated by photos that are blurry, too dark or light, out of focus, or that don’t capture the candid natural looking shots of their kids and family will love having clear direction and guidance for mastering the technical settings of the camera. We’ll breakdown technical photography into easy to digest ingredients that we will slowly incorporate together in a perfect photographic recipe. Are you ready to capture those beautiful professional quality images you’re after? Then let’s get cooking! RESONATE limited availability Your opportunity to work with me one-on-one is here. Spend four weeks on exactly what it is YOU need to grow in your personal photography journey. Are you a mom who just purchased her DSLR camera and has no clue where to begin in learning how to use it? Or are you someone who has the basics down but is longing for more (perhaps you’re finally ready to test out that dream of building your own business)? Or maybe you’re excited about your photos but you want some extra guidance in editing them to give them that extra POP after you’re done. Your Resonate experience will have you going from feeling unsure about where to go next with your photography dreams to having your camera easily become your best friend. You can find all my classes online, here.
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Here’s hoping you and yours are able to enjoy all the best that winter has to offer, even the snow! ‘Til the next issue of Momotgraphie...
xo Beryl
Winter 2014
Wait... before you go! Please, don’t be a stranger. I love to hear all about your Momtographer adventures. Join our Facebook group, shoot me an email or even hit me up on Twitter. And let me know what you think of the magazine. After all, it’s inspired by YOU.